How To Get A Long Distance Relationship Ex Boyfriend Back

5,236 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

nj

February 18, 2014 at 11:56 am

Hi Chris:
First of all, wish you have a good day! its NJ again whose ex boyfriend is at Vietnam,Oh if you could remember me:-P.
Things is I sent him happy Valentine text on Valentine day, and brought some sweet memory, later I was so nervous about whats his reaction, he used to not reply at all regarding some of my good memory text, dont mention its Valentine. on thesecond day, he replied saying happy Valentine day too which make me extremely happy, though no more content, just one sentence, what do you think of this?what does he mean by reply my Valentine day text?is it just be polite or could be something else, really appreciate your inputs, my confusion mind needs that e_e!
Bsrgs
Nj
Flore

February 17, 2014 at 3:25 pm

Hello Chris!
First of all let me thank you for your side. It has been a part of my recovery. I have been reading all your articles for almost a month now. Since my ex broke up with me, I have tried to apply the NC rule, but will always fall back after a week of NC, because I will think that giving him space for a week will make him change his mind, which until hasn’t been the case. We have been in a LDR for over 7 months and he suddenly broke up with me because of the distance (as he say). And he has been really good at texting back right away when have send him messages, but he hasn’t initiate contact at all. I have been in NC for 15 days now and haven’t heard from. We have planned a vacation for May when we were together that hasn’t been paid yet. Now my question is, do you think as a guy that it’s a good idea to go on a vacation with my ex?, because I don’t know if the NC metode will work or not.
I’m looking forward to hear from you.
guen

February 16, 2014 at 10:26 am

Hi Chris, so… i met my boyfriend when i was finding it difficult to get over my ex boyfriend but they knew eachother in a way but they weren’t close as at that time but i made him know i was still into ma ex but he insisted to date me so later we started dating and he asked me to stay away from my ex which i did only to find him keeping in touch with his ex’s and he was even sleeping around with one of them and others i managed to forgive him because i loved him so with time but he stopped those attitudes because he used to be a womanizer so i started keeping in touch with my ex because he became a friend so with time i started having feelings for my ex but i couldn’t tell my boyfriend because from when we started dating he was always accusing me of having feelings for my ex i never admitted because i didn’t want to loose my boyfriend and later i decided to let it out of my chest so i can be free and move on with my boyfriend so i told my ex i still loved him though i know i didn’t do well that i should have kept it to myself then my ex has gone to show him all those messages and my boyfriend got got angry and broke up with me I’m so sad because i didn’t have any intentions of getting back with my ex or cheating on him with my ex but he believes i didn’t love him which i do and i want him back so bad but he’s saying he’s moved on and with someone now but i don’t know how true that is but i really want him back so please help me Chris.
Andres

February 16, 2014 at 4:34 am

Hello my name is Andres, I really like your article. My story is sad to begin. My girlfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago because According to her I don’t give her security. The only security she gets is from her ex. He is her kids father. She ask for time to be alone. But quite I found out she started see a guy and getting physical with him. Before all this I was the one the gaver her everything. We live in different states, so I had to pay for her trips to come see me, gave her lots of presents and to her kids and mother. I was there for her in her bad times. I even put aside my family time to be with her. I am not giving myself flowers but at end of the day I did so much for her. We had almost two years together. At first our communication was good but at the time pass on we talked lest and text least everyday. I was used to text or receive a text from her it was my daily vitamin. I am so in love with her that we agree to live and have a family together. I was going to be the stepdad of her kids.
It’s very hard to be in LDR because I had suffer in many ways one of them be cheat on. I know this because I find out. I was trying to give her the benefit because of the distance but repeating and repeating being chest on somehow it had to stop. Is not fare I wait for her and she quite not.
So I am willing to let that go and start fresh. I want to because with me she will change and take me more seriously. Sometimes I felt she abuse my good and charming side that took advantage of it. In the shape of form it was my security I gave her.
Now she took away what I most love.!! Her. I need help because I want to win her back. I still want to be her present not her future. She said she will be there when I am ready to move and live with her. So what will happen this time now and when I get ready. Ignore her, give her the time she wants to be alone or single to mingle? I had always put the 70% and she the 30%. It has to 50/50. I am very patience person but she is not. I will take time for me to move. Is not that easy, so what should I do? I can’t live with out her!! I don’t think I can’t do the 30 day ‘NC. I am also afraid I can lose her completely, her not reaching me anymore, ignore me, leaving me with another guy, and what’s worst making all this very hard for me.

So please help me out! I still love her, but now I have this hate feeling towards her, she didn’t have me an opportunity to heard my side it was not only her decision. What should I do? End it from my part and let her go or fight for her again and give it a try.

Thanks

Andres Z

admin

February 16, 2014 at 6:18 pm

Hey, check out my other site for men Ex Girlfriend Recovery dot com.

Loulou

February 15, 2014 at 1:57 pm

Firstly let me start by saying happy valentines day, and i hope you had a special evening.
Chris he’s texted me
He said he was truly respecting my decision and didn’t wish to disturb me and apologised if he had with his message. i replied saying he wasn’t and sorry for the late reply. he said he was happy to get a response and he wanted to catch up to see how I’m doing overall, he mentioned now that he also works saturdays and said he’d call later this week. I said that was fine for me and it was good to hear from him.
He then said
Thanks (my name) i really appreciate the continued contact as i said before i didnt want to cut off completely but i understood why it was needed. Im off to another busy week but i hope there is a silver lining to work too. Talk soon be safe

I didnt expect this message from him, i also felt there was no way of me responding. Nor did i understand it, it actually frustrated me alot! Hes putting work first clearly, even though he had initiated contact. Did the silver lining part mean he wants us to work out aswell?
Yesterday I woke up to this:
Happy valentines day (my name). I wish you a lovely day and hope you have an easy and nice day. Im in typical fashion with my parents at the club (flower emo)

I was gracious , saying
Happy valentines day to you too (his name), thank you
I hope you enjoy your traditional day at the club with your parents!

Now chris i am confused. He texted me instead of calling me, yesterday was his only day off in the week. His valentine message had no emotion in it. And i did not get the purpose of it, friends dont send valentines messages to each other. Or was the purpose of the message to tell me that he was spending it with his parents and not with someone else?
Hes being awkward, and i dont know how to get him to stop being that way.
What do you think?
Thanks chris

admin

February 15, 2014 at 6:37 pm

Thank you!

Are you happy that he messaged?
Loulou

February 23, 2014 at 12:22 pm

Hi chris
Sorry to disturb you, but i really need your advice.
My guy initiated contact, he said he’d call later in the week. I got a valentines day message from him, but then i never got a call or a message since.
What does this mean? Do i just continue not talking to him? I cannot understand what is going on?
You asked me if i was happy that he texted, and ofcourse i am. But now hes disappeared! So no longer happy haha
Loulou

February 15, 2014 at 8:21 pm

🙂
Well ofcourse im happy, but i cant read him. What do you think hes doing? He hasnt called like he said, but he sent me the valentines message, but again no emotion. Which is how it was when we were on the break, and thats why i left him because i didnt want to be put in the friend zone.
I dont want him to come back just to play mind games or to be wasting my time, i thought he’d come back because he wants me.
Have i been answering correctly? And what do you think he is doing? Is he trying to be friends? I dont want that!
Loulou

February 16, 2014 at 11:43 pm

Well ofcourse im happy, but i cant read him. What do you think hes doing? He hasnt called like he said, but he sent me the valentines message, but again no emotion. Which is how it was when we were on the break, and thats why i left him because i didnt want to be put in the friend zone.
I dont want him to come back just to play mind games or to be wasting my time, i thought he’d come back because he wants me.
Have i been answering correctly? And what do you think he is doing? Is he trying to be friends? I dont want that!

Laura

February 15, 2014 at 8:34 am

Hi Chris, I’ve completed the NC and the first steps went quite well but things have gotten a bit out of control cause he’s only talking about my ass anymore (Don’t laugh, it’s true). I’ve tried to turn the conversation around a few times but he manages to bring it back to my backside all the time, it’s crazy! And annoying. The last thing he texted me was that he really wanted me right now. I didn’t respond and now we haven’t talked for a week. What should I do now?

admin

February 15, 2014 at 6:32 pm

Keep advancing the attraction.

amanda

February 14, 2014 at 10:56 pm

Hello Chris,

Me and my ex were in a long distant relationship for 5 months. I started no contact as soon as we broke up and did not engage in text gnat behaviuor at all. I started no contact on the 29th Jan, on day 13 my 4 year old niece was playing with my phone and managed to send a voice message (her talking and playing) on whatsapp to my ex!!! 🙁 When I noticed I sent a message to say ‘sorry my niece had my phone’. To which he did not respond, and i didnt expect one. He is extremely stubborn. Ive started no contact again, do you recommend that I wait another 30 days or can I shorten it slighty to 28 as i will be going to a concert for an artist that he and I both loved and will be an ideal first contact message topic.

admin

February 15, 2014 at 1:49 am

I don’t see how shortening it a few days can hurt.

Janna

February 14, 2014 at 4:27 pm

Hi Chris
I am trying to do the NC rule and It’s day 2 and my ex already texted me saying “your not gonna say hi to me?” What do you think this shows? And should I break the NC rule and reply back to him?
Sofia

February 13, 2014 at 7:56 pm

well, I wished I’ve listened to you… he blocked me from whatsapp and I’m devastated, his last message was ‘I wish you a nice life’. I really need your opinion, do you think we’ll come back?

this is all my fault for being a text gnat
Magdalena

February 13, 2014 at 4:01 pm

Hello Chris,
Me and I my ex met at work, he was “borrowed” 3 days per week to Brussels. We started a relationship 6 months ago and last weekend all collapsed. He was getting out of hard relationship and I was At the begging we spent every weekend or every second weekend together, all December he again was working in Brussels (he works and lives 2h by train) and we got very close. While Xmas I had to go to my home country, but we chatted everyday. In January we met only once, he stopped to answer miss you on my “miss you messages”. I asked him for a little more attention (in a very delicate way) as we met when He was getting out of hard relationship. I didn’t want to scare him, but what i wanted is to somehow define what is between us..Last week – after 4 weeks of not seeing each other. He started to cry and told me that he cannot give me what I expect, he thinks that it will finish as he would hurt me…after the break up (he had train the next day) we still were hugging, kissing and even had sex like nothing happen..he cried (he cried after sex as well :S ), i cired..he was telling me that I am beautiful and awsome…I am just confused: don’t know was I just his rebound, I am really afraid that he could not commit as he still loves his ex…but if so why he continue seeing me for 6 months almost every week, calling and writing every day???
Any advice to super freshly broken heart?
miserable

February 13, 2014 at 1:46 pm

Hey man, I’m a guy and she wanted to have NC for a month.
Should I do the same thing like u wrote on this page or something else?
Idk what to do anymore.
Should I contact her first after NC or wait for her?
What should I do, help me please!
Without her I’m nothing, I want her back so badly!
we’re both 18
nc ends on 5th of February
she’s saying that we’re too young and that distance is there also
Also, I deactivated my fb acc and logged out of skype?
Did I do well or not?
greetings from Hungary! 🙂

admin

February 14, 2014 at 2:43 am

Hey, check out my latest site at Ex Girlfriend Recovery dot com!
miserable

February 13, 2014 at 1:54 pm

…and she wants us to stay friends

B

February 11, 2014 at 3:44 pm

My boyfriend told me almost two weeks ago that he needs time to think. He told me a week prior to that that he was having problems with his job. I haven’t contacted him. How long should I give him? We’ve never had a real problem before and I’m in the dark as to what’s going on. I didn’t expect to not hear from him this long and it’s painful but I also don’t want to push him away. It’s also our 3 year anniversary in a few days.

I’m not sure what to do Chris. Hope you can guide me in the right direction.

admin

February 11, 2014 at 6:33 pm

Have you been able to implement the NC rule?
B

February 14, 2014 at 3:56 am

Chris it’s been two weeks today and no word yet from him since he said he needed time. Is it over? do i need to keep NC for another two weeks and then try to find out what’s going on?
B

February 11, 2014 at 7:04 pm

Yes it will be 2 weeks on Thursday. Should I keep it going even if he contacts me?

Jessica

February 10, 2014 at 11:11 pm

My boyfriend and I were almost at our first year anniversary and a little over a week from our first Valentines Day. He was my first boyfriend and we really fell in love fast. We live 3 1/2 hourse away from each other and we have seen one another when we could. We began the relationship knowing that it was going to be hard. We had our setbacks but we made it through. I live in a place that makes me feel isolated most of the time so I would tell him that I missed him and he would do the same to me. We hardly spoke on the phone but we always sent texts to one another. Together, we are an almost perfect couple. We have the same long term goals set and said that we were in this for the long haul. We are both on our way to getting better jobs but then the distance became too much for him and he broke it off on the 4th. He says that I should think of this as a “We’ll see what happens” sort of thing and he still loves me. He still says good night to me and wants to be friends. He told me that he doesnt want to completely lose me.
Last month he quit a job that he had and his parents decided that they didn’t want him living in their home anymore. So they gave him time to sort out where he was going to live. He spoke to his Grandma, who gives him a certain amount of money every month, and told her the situation. Him and I were thinking about moving to Palm Desert together and she said that she would pay his half of the rent until he had a job. But then right when we were going to look at places..she calls and says that she isnt going to do it anymore. She says that she cannot trust me financially and that I would have her pay my rent as well. I would never have her do that and she judged me. So she told him that the only way he would still be getting money on a monthly basis is if he stayed in the area that he already lives.
So from there we said alright..lets work on getting our own money then. He kept telling me ” Im not going anywhere, I love you too much” and then he was going to come here to see me for a weekend until his Grandma said that she specifically didnt want him coming here that weekend. His Grandma never wanted him in a relationship but he never listened. So he stayed home and now we are at this point and it’s killing me. Then not too long before we broke up, she said that it would be a good idea if we broke up and then got back together down the line. I know that we can work it out…but how?
Raha

February 10, 2014 at 7:40 pm

Hey my ex bf and I went to college together. We were just friends for the first two years and dated the last two. in may before we graduated he told me he wanted to marry me and he was in love with me. well after graduation he moved back home to continue school and i stayed here to do the same thing. we broke up 3 weeks ago and he has contacted me twice via snapchat. the first attempt was a week after and it was a “pointless” contact. two days later he sent me two snap chats saying that the pet i have that lives with him misses me and i should visit her. and then another one about an hour later saying that i am always welcome and have a place to stay there. its been 2 weeks since then and i havent heard from him. it will be 30 days of NC by valentines day and we had plans for me to go visit him (he lives 3 hours away so we visited every other weekend or so) and i cannot decide whether i should even contact him after the 30 days or just continue ignoring him to see if he will try again and just respond to him if he tried contacting me again. ps. i know he has been checking my fb and my stories on snapchat (almost every single one of them) and he used to not have fb or snapchat before we broke up. he started using them after the break up. what should i DO?!!!?

admin

February 11, 2014 at 12:50 am

Maybe contact him via a first contact text after valentines.
Raha

February 10, 2014 at 8:57 pm

Ps I might as well go ahead and add this. he and i started having our problems when he got rejected from medical school over the summer and claimed to have lost “himself and his personality”. he became really depressed and wasnt being himself anymore and i tried to give him time to heal but it seemed like the more i gave him time the worse he got at being a bf to me.

Ty

February 10, 2014 at 6:10 pm

I broke up with him because of no future plans to close the LDR. I’m willing to move to him but he says he is not ready. It’s been 2 years of false promises. He texts everyday and he wants to keep me until he is ready. I can’t wait for him. Will the no contact rule make him realize that he is really losing me if he doesn’t get his act together? I started the nNC rule yesterday after breaking up with him 3 weeks ago. He tells me he loves me everyday, but I’m ready to move on with or without him. I need actions to back up the words. Should I continue the NC in this case?
melonei

February 9, 2014 at 8:32 pm

Hello 🙂 So my ex does not have a cell phone just cuz he needs a new phone card.. I was wondering your advice on something. I was thinking of giving him the one I bought for him before the split.. Since I can’t return it nore use it. Should I send that to him close to the end of NC? That way I will be able to make the first contact text? Plus I can’t use it anyways..
Thanks so much I really hope I can get him back by following your steps 🙂 Your amazing chris!!

admin

February 10, 2014 at 5:46 am

Do you have any other way of reaching him?
melonei

February 10, 2014 at 5:03 pm

Yes, I could call his house, facebook him or skype him. However when it comes to engaging in a conversation during this process via message, it would be hard to do since he dosnt go on facebook or skype that much… .. Your call Chris I trust your judgement 🙂
melonei

February 11, 2014 at 2:23 pm

I ended up sending it to him but I follow your directions for writing a letter that I recived VIA email and let him know that I tried to get rid of it but I couldnt and diddnt want to waste my money, when he hopefully texts saying thxs, I’m not going to respond for like five days and the start my first contact text…. I read in your email that 30 days was just an average depending on how bad the split was.. You said it could be 2 weeks -2-3 months.. I think 3 weeks will put him in the missing me badly stage since one week he will be fragile, 2 week week he’ll start erasing bad memories, then on the 3 week he should start missing me badly…. I hope lol

jkryo

February 9, 2014 at 6:21 pm

Would you recommend doing anything differently to get back a girlfriend as opposed to a boyfriend? Also, what would you do if they don’t try to contact you during the no contact month? Is that simply a sign that it is too far gone? Thanks!

admin

February 10, 2014 at 5:39 am

I would!

I just started a new site called Ex Girlfriend Recovery you should check it out. I wrote a massive article for men trying to get their exes back.

Kenny

February 8, 2014 at 8:56 am

My girlfriend of three years, that I planned on marrying when I graduate college in 1.5-2 years decided she doesn’t want a boyfriend right now. She broke up with me saying she needed time and space. Her friends back home told me maybe 1 month or maybe 6. I drove 12 hours down to see her to sit down and talk with her about what was going on. We were perfectly happy and back to normal when we weren’t talking about “us”. So I broke the NC rule bad and spent the first week basically begging and driving down there. I now have spent almost a week with no contact that we have both just been angry at each other. Should I be concerned that I ran her off already?

admin

February 8, 2014 at 6:18 pm

Hmm…

Did she tell you why she wanted to breakup? Other than the “I don’t want a boyfriend bit?”
Kenny

February 8, 2014 at 9:08 pm

She is training to be a pro cross country equestrian, possibly going to the olympics and she said she just wants to focus on that. But I supported her in that more than her parents even, so I didn’t think I was being a distraction.
admin

February 9, 2014 at 4:50 am

Do you think she could possibly be using that as an excuse at all?
Kenny

February 9, 2014 at 6:12 am

I’m not really sure. We have spent at least half of our relationship in long distance. For the first part I was in the Marines, then I came home for good in the spring, the next fall she went to college 2 hours away, and the next summer she went to Texas to train, came home and went to school for a semester, and now is back in Texas. I think that maybe her trainer might be pushing her to this because he once had a student die because she was focused on her boyfriend breaking up with her and she got bucked off and trampled. So to be honest I have no idea what happened because this came out of left field for me.
We broke up once for a week in 2011, and I was at her house with flowers and we talked it out over the next week and it was discovered we broke up over a lie that a friend had told so that was an easy fix, so I guess I was hoping driving to Texas would have the same effect as before. And, like I said, when I was in Texas with her for those 4 days we were perfectly happy, and it was like everything was back to normal, except the thought of this break up in the back of my head.
Kenny

February 10, 2014 at 8:06 am

She just skyped me because she was lonely and we kept the conversation friendly and it went pretty well. Then she brought up us a little and then tried to tell me she just needs time. Later when I was saying that one of her favorite taylor swift songs came on that was about getting back together with someone, she quoted never ever getting back together. So theres a mixed signal. These women today…
admin

February 10, 2014 at 6:55 pm

Hey bro I just completed by website Ex Girlfriend Recovery (take a look.)
Kenny

February 10, 2014 at 7:00 pm

Will do. Appreciate it.

melonei

February 8, 2014 at 4:02 am

Hey its been 16 days and i did not even get an attempt from him to contact me.. Should I be worried?
Love your site

admin

February 8, 2014 at 4:26 am

No not at all this is pretty normal actually.

Sofia

February 7, 2014 at 6:33 pm

is it a good sign that despite of threating me to block me from social networks he hasn’t do it?

admin

February 8, 2014 at 4:15 am

Yes BUT don’t push him b/c he may do it if you push him too soon.

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5,236 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”