How To Get A Long Distance Relationship Ex Boyfriend Back

5,236 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

bubbles

December 16, 2013 at 11:53 pm

I was in a relationship with this guy for 5 months but unfortunately he moved to Canada for University In september. Everything was perfect between us we hardly ever fought, like during the month of september we talked on skype daily and WhatsApped with each other alot. However in October our conversation started to become less which was understandable because he had work and studies, though he always showed great interest and whenever I had my doubts that the relationship might not work he always panicked and assured me over and over again everytime that it will work out and he will give his best. Everything was picture perfect when in the first week of november we just had a fight which was mainly my fault for which I apologized alot but he still asked for a day to think over our relationship because he was really mad at me. So I waited for a day after which he said that things were back to normal between us. Soon after that his mid terms started during which he started avoiding me started ignoring my messages. I asked him seriously “If he loved me?” To which he just replied “Yes:*” even though he could have written the whole sentence! So I waited 2 weeks for him to get done with his exams and by the end I was emotionally exhausted. Anyway even after the exams things didnt really work out his behaviour didnt changed I sent him some angry emotionaly messages to which he didnt reply back at all. I waited for 6 days yet no answer as to he wanted to break up or not, so I contacted his best friend after which my ex replied finally telling me that he cant keep up with the relationship because if excessive burden from his university and the time difference and that he would be there for me.

Since that day I didnt contact him at all but almost 9 days back I had to contact him for some important reasons. Our conversation went well! However he stopped replying after a while to which I didnt even sent another message since that time. Also he is coming back on Sunday.

So Im completely clueless here as to what should I do? I tried moving on but so far its not helping because Im extremely lost. I have no bad memories about him and also hes a muslim therefore he doesnt drink. Moreover there arent any picture with sexy girls aswell on his account although he can post them publicly and noone will care. So what do you guys suggest? Should I text first and try to be friends with him? or I should wait for him to get back to his senses? Because rightnow he is high on his new life.
If there are any further tricks or suggestion PLEASE TELL ME!!!!!!

admin

December 17, 2013 at 6:46 pm

Right now time is the thing you need to give him.

Ladiva

December 16, 2013 at 9:08 pm

Hy chris ,Pls can i communicate with you personaly thru fb,twitter or email,i have a big problm that i tink u alne cn hlp me out,wud b xpecting ur reply

admin

December 17, 2013 at 6:36 pm

Well, actually you can’t. I had to make a point to give myself some personal time in facebook and twitter and email b/c I was getting too overwhelmed so I just strictly answer stuff on the site now.

Janae

December 16, 2013 at 1:14 pm

I really need your help this time-
Okay, so things were going exceedingly well, perfect actually, he wrote me one night and kept complimenting me and telling me he loved me and missed me, he even mentioned again marrying me one day, he told me he wanted to make me smile. We talked for a few hours that night and I was absolutely elated, he told me to write him the next night. However, the next day, my brother Warren found out that we talked somehow, and got upset. You see, Warren and my ex used to be close until my ex and I broke up. Anyway, Warren ended up writing my ex and telling him not to contact me anymore if he knew what was good for him. Warren told my ex that my family didn’t accept him. After I found out Warren wrote my ex, I was worried and upset, that this would hinder any chances of rekindling the relationship. I still felt hopeful, for my ex had asked me to write that following night (but that was before Warren had wrote him), so I did write him, but I didn’t get a response. So, I texted him that if he wanted he could talk to me the next night (which is tonight), and tonight I haven’t gotten any messages. So, I’m worried now that Warren had told him not to contact me that he will do just that :/ Please help and give any advice on what I should do, should I wait to write him for a few days? I don’t want to lose him after making so much progress 🙁 Please help! What should I do?

Janae

December 18, 2013 at 9:32 am

I know you have a lot of responses to write and you’re busy, but could you please help me out, I would love some advice on this, I’m not sure what to do in this situation :/ Any suggestions?
admin

December 18, 2013 at 6:45 pm

If we take it one question by one question I can help.
Janae

December 19, 2013 at 10:52 am

Thank you for your time 🙂 I’ll just say we were getting along great, but the next day my brother wrote him.

1st Question: Since my brother wrote him telling him not to contact me, could that be the reason he hasn’t contacted me?

2nd Question: If that is, what should I do to get him to talk to me again?

3rd Question: I had written him the night after we talked because he asked me to, but got no response, how long should I wait before trying again under these circumstances?
admin

December 19, 2013 at 7:44 pm

1. It could be..
2. Well, obviously you will have to be the one that reaches out.
3. 3-4 weeks.
Janae

December 20, 2013 at 8:42 am

Shoot :/ Wait 3 to 4 weeks, even though I already did no contact for 30 days before?
admin

December 21, 2013 at 3:40 am

Ohhh…. I misunderstood.

No just a week hahahahahah sorry my bad.
Janae

December 21, 2013 at 8:48 am

Haha it’s all good! That’s a relief to hear 😀 Thank you for your response

Isabelle

December 15, 2013 at 11:38 pm

Hi Chris,

Thanks for all the advice on your site.

My ex and I were together for 2 years. We lived together, he talked about marriage and children etc. but things got hard and he broke up with me about 2 months ago. It wasn’t a particularly bad break up, it was very emotional though. He says I’m basically the love of his life but he doesn’t know what else to do right now.

I just finished 30 days of NC, and sent my ex a little email about a good memory we shared together (emails are easier than texts for us as right now we’re in other countries). He replied really quickly with quite a long emotional email about how hard things are for him right now, and said at the end that he thinks about me all day.

I waited a day and replied in a similar tone to his message. I didn’t ask any questions, but I was sympathetic to him having a hard time, told him a little about what I was up to and told him I think about him a lot too. That was two days ago and he hasn’t replied. Now what?

I should mention that he definitely falls into the “Stubborn Guy” category. And he definitely became the victim even though he broke up with me, he deleted me off Facebook and Instagram etc. because he said it was too hard for him to see my posts. But over the NC period he kept posting things on Instagram that were aimed at me… memories from when we were together, song lyrics about missing someone and being lonely etc…

He’s sending me mixed signals and I’m confused as to what to do now.

Thanks!

admin

December 16, 2013 at 6:27 pm

Well, are you able to advance the process?
Isabelle

December 17, 2013 at 1:36 am

Well I’m trying, but I don’t know what the next step should be. NC again? For how long? I feel like if I emailed him again too soon it’s just going to put pressure on him.

Thanks!
admin

December 17, 2013 at 6:54 pm

Yes again but shorten it this time.

Rose

December 13, 2013 at 5:09 pm

Hey Chris,

Thanks for this guide! Do you think it’s the same process when the relationship wasn’t long distance but the guy moves a few months after the breakup (going back home in another country). I’m moving to his country 3 months and a half after him so I know I’ll see him again but I feel like the distance is too much for him, I feel like he has feeling for me but he goes back and forth, he’s not sure what he wants and the distance is just adding to the confusion… Thanks!
Kay

December 13, 2013 at 2:56 pm

Idk where to begin, ill try to put it shortly. Last week, me and ex were getting along fantastically. We were getting close again with some flirts and spending 8-10 hours together everyday. Then bout 4 days ago, he would only email me, we still messaged n flirted. Then yesterday he messaged me only twice, the last one had a bit of attitude so I told him don’t give me attitude. He hasn’t replied since. He’s been purposely ignoring me, but I said it jokingly.

He’s NEVER like this to me. Especially after we were getting close again, I’m just confused. v_v he’s been around. I see him secretly on Xbox. Idk if he found someone in an instant, or something’s bugging him. Should I try messaging him later? Or just leave it be? I don’t want to make it worse.

admin

December 13, 2013 at 7:53 pm

What makes you think he found someone?
Kay

December 14, 2013 at 12:01 am

Idk I over think things a lot. It irritates me that we were getting so close again, then within a day he wont even bother to hit me up. Did I do something wrong?

Well about a month ago I mentioned I had a bf, which I don’t still. He disappeared a few days. He had mentioned it again last week when I asked to Skype. I know it can’t be that reason.

I really want to tell him how I feel, but the way things been lately, he’ll definitely end up ignoring me all together. Ugh I’ve never felt like this with any guy! Ill straight up tell them how I feel and they try to work it out. But this guy….I’m lost for the first time.
admin

December 14, 2013 at 10:23 pm

I overthink things too so I get that.

I think the best thing to do is let things develop naturally.
Kay

December 13, 2013 at 7:02 pm

Well I ended up sending him a message. Reason being I got a game he was holding off to play, for me. So I messaged him and he instantly replies. He acts normal, nothing wrong. He was concerned bout me going to bed (it was 5-6am for me). We couldn’t get his game to work, but he continued to talk to me. Talked for maybe 20-30 minz before his friend came over. The way he left tho, jeez it was rude. All he said was my friends here then left -. – I think I’ll leave him alone till he’s ready to contact me. I rarely contact him first, it’s always him to do so first. From the beginning till now, it’s always been him mainly. I do care for him, and I want him to visit (or vice versa) beginning next year :/ I just don’t know what he feels, what he’s doing, what he thinks. Ugh

joan

December 12, 2013 at 11:03 pm

Hi Cris, me and my boyfriend talked again but I did not follow the NC, I got excited he contacted me and we talked, he did now reply to my emails and chat but not as like before that he initiate yhe conversation, I feel he is not thst interested into me, I ask him if he still loves me and he said he loves me a little, I send him chat that I dont like a little love, he replied everything takes time, and I replied as life is short, and time got its own and take his time and off and not replied again, what should I do? Can I still use the NC to bring back the love we had? Or should I continue to communicate with him?
Thsnks

admin

December 13, 2013 at 7:18 pm

Yes I think you can but it will admittedly be tough.

David

December 12, 2013 at 10:46 pm

Hey Chris,
My ex and i broke up on november 4th, but we lost contact on the 14th. she broke up with me because she is a senior getting ready for college. And she felt it was unfair that i was giving her so much love while she didnt have time to give it back to me. Im almost at the one month mark, and i was wondering how i would go about initiating contact. Should i message her on christmas? send her a letter? or should i wait until january 8th, and send her a message then. One of her favorite shows starts on that day. I was planning on meeting her on winter break, which we both looked forward to for about 2 months. We also lost contact 10 days later after the break up because i begged her back and pretty much annoyed her. I completely regret that now, so i sent her a lengthy apology letter 2 weeks after the break up. During the break up, she asked to be friends, and that we can pick up the relationship on summer. I obviously wasnt content with the friendship, and I didnt want to cling on false hopes, so i rejected her friend request, but it upset her. In the end i regretted it, so i begged her back. Now i dont regret it at all. I can never see her as a friend. she said that she loved me still after the break up when she called me to tell me she is breaking up with me, but now it is obvious that she is trying to get rid of those emotions. she blocked me, told me that she isnt willing to be friends anymore, and on november 14, i called her and she was annoyed at me, telling me to leave. I know i made alot of mistakes, but i am more than willing to get her back, and i dont care how long it takes. I cant go through a single day without her crossing my mind and making me smile. Giving up is not an option. Right now my emotions are intact. I feel as if Im okay with letting her go, but at the same time i know i shouldnt. I am doing so much better now, in terms of academics and all that stuff. Im ready to visit her anytime, but I know i should restore the friendship first and pop the question of visiting then.

admin

December 13, 2013 at 7:18 pm

Ok, take a deep breath.

Can I ask you if she ever initiates contact with you at all?

Eeeekkk....

December 12, 2013 at 4:56 pm

Hey Chris,

So I’m on the 24th day of NC after our break-up… He hasn’t contacted me, but last night he looked at my profile on the dating website that we met on. Is that a good sign??

I’m still going to wait a couple of days after the 30NC period to contact him.
AlittleFaith

December 12, 2013 at 9:32 am

Hi Chris, thanks for the article. I ended an LDR back in 2010 because I felt things were moving a little too fast for me. Being young and very inexperienced, I freaked out and called things off. I let him know I’d be willing to pick things up if we could move slower, if not, we could remain as friends. He chose the friend option (was he afraid I’d hurt him again? He did let me know that I had broken his heart which was the last thing I ever wanted to do). We talked a few times after that–the last I heard from him was in early 2011. We were supposed to skype later one day, once he returned from his doctor’s visit (he was being treated for head trauma)but he never did. I know skype was rather glitchy for the two of us normally, being overseas and all, so I emailed him– even facebook messaged him, but no response. I stopped after these two attempts because I didn’t want to come across as needy. I don’t know, I just suddenly found myself thinking about him and after dating a bit over the years,I realize what I had; I really do miss him. I was wondering if you think I should go out on a limb and email him and see if he responds, or if I should interpret his silence as him wanting nothing to do with me ever again. Your advice is much appreciated, thank you.

admin

December 12, 2013 at 7:25 pm

Have you yourself attempted a no contact yet?
AlittleFaith

December 13, 2013 at 3:38 am

Not in the way you detailed it step-by-step in this article, BUT I haven’t contacted him since 2011 so does this 2-year gap count?
admin

December 13, 2013 at 7:31 pm

LOL I think it does.
AlitteFaith

December 14, 2013 at 8:33 am

Lol, so I thought. So is it worth a shot trying to touch base again after all this time, or would guys tend to perceive that as psycho/desperate? If the latter is the case, I’d rather let sleeping dogs lie/leave things alone even though I’ll probably always wonder what could have happened.
AlittleFaith

December 12, 2013 at 9:36 am

*That should read: I really do still miss him–I never actually stopped.

Kara

December 12, 2013 at 2:48 am

My ex and I have been broken up for a little over two months. I did no contact and since then we have texted twice. Both times I have been the one to initialize it. He texts back and has been positive/nice but no signs of wanting to jump back into anything. I don’t know if I should keep texting him or wait a little and see if he makes the effort to contact me first.

admin

December 12, 2013 at 7:07 pm

Well, what you could aim to do is make it so that your conversations are so interesting he has no choice but to call.

Viks

December 11, 2013 at 2:35 pm

Hi Chris,

I told you I will reduce the NC with a few days (will text on the 14-15th Dec; 3 weeks NC) because I want to contact him before I go back for Christmas. And the thing that I’m reminding him of is in where I’m living at the moment, so must text him a few days before NC expires. However, it’s day 19 and nothing from him yet.. Would you advise to go straight with texting like in your guide or something else?? I am afraid of his response to be fair. He is so stubborn and might be rude even if he is dying to talk to me.. Thanks in advance.

admin

December 12, 2013 at 1:52 am

Well, you have to take a chance eventually..
Viks

December 12, 2013 at 7:19 am

Yes I know… So shall I use the example texts that you give even though he hasn’t text me for that time?

Hope

December 10, 2013 at 4:34 am

Hi Chris,

My long-distance ex broke up with me because he “love me but can’t make you happy”. I broke up with him back in April before he was leaving for France. But he came to me and said he does not want to lose me. But it’s been 3 weeks and he hasn’t contacted me.
I know that I blocked him every possible way except for phone and e-mail but I’m disappointed that he has not even tried.

Will your advice on NC and a fb message after 30days apply for me?
Thank you.

admin

December 10, 2013 at 7:12 pm

I don’t see why not 😉

Roshni

December 9, 2013 at 5:53 am

Hi chris,

The NC period with my exboyfriend is going to end tomorrow and he is calling me contiously from last 3 days.

1. Should i pick up his call tomorrow as it would be the last day of NC?
2. I think he is missing the phone sex and he may ask me for the same.What should i do?

admin

December 9, 2013 at 7:29 pm

No I think the smartest thing for you is to initiate the contact after no contact.

Blege

December 8, 2013 at 5:41 pm

Hey, my Ex broke up about 2 months ago after we were together for one year in the same city. Unfortunately, we are forced to do a 2-year long distance relationship (or were, now that he broke up) due to our studies, as our 3rd Bachelor year is obligatory abroad and I’m one year below him. Moreover, we both want to work in Asia later, so he’s now in Korea and I’ll be in China next year.
At first, I did not contact him for about 4 weeks because I was really sad and angry. He broke up because we fought a lot during summer when we were still physically together, there were some really bad issues with his family that didn’t like me at all. It really did not go well these weeks. When he left, we resolved to clear these family issues later on as it was just impossible to do so when he was on another continent. However, after 5 weeks he broke up, saying that it would just be too hard to keep the relationship over 2 years with all these unresolved issues.
After a couple of weeks of not having contact, he started to write me again and from that moment on we had skype conversations every week. Sometimes it was fun, but often we would also talk about our relationship and what went wrong and he always got upset then, telling me that most of it was my fault. I then brought up to visit him in the Winter holidays and he said yes. My intention was a) to solve the issues and b) to get him back.
Our last conversations were all a little bit rough. We’re both stressed out because of university exams and he apologized twice after not-so-pleasant conversations were he just seemed unnerved.
Today he finally told me during our skype date (our last one before I go there in 2 weeks) that he does not love me anymore (what he never said before) and that whatever I’d do during the 3 weeks I’m going to live at his place, he would not want to try a LDR afterwards because he’s afraid that we’ll just fight. He does not even want to try, because of (quote) “Lack of courage, motivation and emotions”.

I cannot cancel the flight and, seriously, I need to see him. I just wanted to know whether there is any hope at all that he’ll change his mind once he’s actually around me. And how I should behave in order not to annoy him and to improve my chances. Computer screens get so exhausting after a while.
youngnconfused soon to be catlady

December 8, 2013 at 1:56 am

been 38 days nc. he hasn’t contact or anything. im scared to start the contact. what if hes happier with out me? everyone seems excited to start talkin to their ex. to me contacting your ex feels like opening up a bandaid you just put on a fresh cut. I always get butterflies and my heart races whenever he called or texted or even was right next to me. I know he left cause he was “depressed”. I don’t want him to feel any pressure from me. I been working out everyday and focusing on myself since we broke up…got two jobs and studying for my state boards…just that in a month one can do a lot of healing/thinking and self discovery and once you start doing all these things, its kinda scary to try to reopen a cut sort of speak….

you think I should just contact him and see what happens? or should I wait a bit longer maybe another week? I just don’t want to be a bothersome to him.

admin

December 8, 2013 at 6:53 pm

Hi Young Confused Soon To Be Cat Lady,

(Sorry I just had to repeat that name b/c it made me laugh.)

I even took a picture b/c I thought it was creative.

I think you should contact him but be careful about it. Re-read a lot of the texting stuff I go over on this site and take a chance.
youngnconfused soon to be catlady

December 8, 2013 at 11:01 pm

haha im glad you like my “screen name”! everyone on this site is so serious glad I can help you get in a chuckle haha….after all your helping thousands of women and men on a daily basis….. howd you get into this anyways? whats you story for wanting to help all these people with their relationships?

ill do my best in contacting my ex. I still love him like I first did years ago, im in no rush to move on…tried that 3 years ago when I first met my ex and learned that forcing myself to move on wasn’t fair to myself or the other people in between the 3 years we parted ways til we reunited earlier this year……im just so nervous just thinking bout him makes my stomach all full of butterflies….

even when I do follow your steps….according to what I saw you respond to others comments you said 2-3 days between each step…should we be texting in those 2-3 days to keep the convo flowing…..or is it after we finish all the steps then we talk to them on a daily basis? also, worse comes to worse and he just wants to be friends……do I go to your get out of friend zone page or what? cause all your pages pretty much say do 30 days nc…….
admin

December 9, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Well the idea is to initially be a 2-3 days in between steps but as the process moves on you are aiming to be talking every day. Does that make sense?

Cathy

December 6, 2013 at 5:43 pm

Chris! I left a few comments but u didnt reply! I told u that i de friend my ex bf on facebook . In order to make him jealous should I add him back? or just keep doing the NC ? now I am on the 6th day 。

admin

December 6, 2013 at 8:16 pm

Not until after NC.

Airis Cervantes

December 5, 2013 at 4:36 am

Hey Chris,

So I accomplished the no contact rule, but during that time he sent me letters once a week trying to stay friends with me. Right now we are on terms of i miss you and you miss me but we are trying to be friends. How do I get out of that if we are already texting every once in a while?

admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:44 pm

You may need to check out some of the other guides specifically the ones about making him fall for you.

Cathy

December 4, 2013 at 3:52 pm

Hey Chris ! I unfriend my ex on.facebook in order to prevent my self not calling him. Coz When I did the NC rules first time. I deleted his numbers coz i kew as long as I have his number i will call. And he has his number on his facebook.profile. Thats why unfriend him. But u said we shouldnt unfriend ex on facebook . So since we are in LDR ? without facebook how can i maje him jealous? by the way. I starty NC again today is the 3rd day.

admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:20 am

Right now you can’t…
Cathy

December 5, 2013 at 2:36 pm

so what should I do now?
Cathy

December 6, 2013 at 5:37 pm

should I add him back?
admin

December 6, 2013 at 8:14 pm

wait until after NC.

Viks

December 3, 2013 at 10:55 pm

Hey Chris,

I think this topic is more relevant for me as I’m currently in LDR. Thank you a lot for your advice to start NC on my boyfriend.. ex or whatever he is at the moment. So yeah, basically copied my last comment from the other article and I hope you can give me some advice again. I’m currently on day 11 of the NC. He hasn’t text me for that time, but on Saturday morning he left a comment (a random one saying that my outfit is nice) on one of my pics on instagram, which I think means that he wants to provoke me to contact him. I ignored ofc and uploaded a few pics after that + one from last night when I went out. Since he is in China, instagram, viber and skype (we have skyped once for almost 2 months bcs of time difference and bad internet there) are the only means we can communicate, because they don’t have Facebook there.. Anyway, it’s been a few days since he is online everywhere literally all the time and I’m wondering if he is doing it in order to provoke me? I am going home on the 20th for Xmas and my NC finishes on 22nd, but I think I will contact him a few days before that as I don’t want to leave it for when I’m home. What do you think? Was this comment his first contact with me in your opinion? And I am wondering shall I keep on uploading pics of what I do and where I go, because isn;t it going to be harder for him if he doesn’t know anything at all? Thanks in advance!!

admin

December 5, 2013 at 12:54 am

Yes I think you shoul dkeep uploading them!
Viks

December 5, 2013 at 7:15 am

Ok, thank you, Chris :)) its day 13 today and nothing from him.. I start to worry. But what do you think about him commenting my picture? Have a wonderful day! (Not sure what time it is in America now)
.
admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:58 pm

I think its positive but don’t let it get to your head.
Viks

December 5, 2013 at 8:16 pm

I hope he will contact me at least with a “Hi” very soon. This way I will know for sure that he is thinking about me. I will update you or ask for advice again 🙂 Thank you for everything!
admin

December 6, 2013 at 7:19 pm

Just keep focusing on yourself b/c that is the only thing you can truly control.
Viks

December 7, 2013 at 6:21 pm

Day 15 and he hasn’t text me whatsoever… When he told me he wants to break up (totally sudden decision in my opinion) he said he has lots of going around and it’s better to focus on our own lives as he can’t be dealing with me wanting him to be saying nice things to me all the time… Which is not true.. but is there a girl out there that doesn’t wanna hear something nice sometimes especially when your bf is so so far away… Anyway, to cut it short – Do you think he totally lost interest now and is relieved because I’m not in his life to ask for things anymore? (we skyped for the first time since he left 3 days before the breakup and it was so nice) Thanks in advance, Chris 🙂

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5,236 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”