How To Get A Long Distance Relationship Ex Boyfriend Back

5,236 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

Liz

December 3, 2013 at 5:53 pm

So I’ve done the no contact… He’s drunk dialed me and texted me a few times over the 30 days. I resumed contact w him when he wished me happy thanksgiving. So today I just sent him a memory text… He responded pretty much immediately but just said “yea why?”
I have no idea what to say haha… Help?

admin

December 5, 2013 at 12:25 am

Say nothing… that is kind of the opint of no contact

Abby

December 3, 2013 at 2:35 pm

Hi. I stumbled across this page when looking up ideas to get my ex back. We just broke up 2 days ago, and of course, for the past 2 days I was crying and begging for him back. This break up is pretty difficult because its him who thinks he is not good for me. He claims that he is breaking up with me FOR me, so I can be with someone better and someone that can make me happy in the future. He says he still loves me but that this has to be done because he knows hes not good for me and he will just weigh down my future. Regardless of what he says, I still love him and I want to be with him. I don’t care if hes not good enough for me or if he will weigh me down. I will follow your steps here to get him back but I don’t know if it will work. He’s the one who wants me to find someone else even tho he still loves me. Will all these steps work to get him back? Also, how much time apart should the first text be from the meme, then from meme to good memories, then from memories to some jealousy?

Thanks for the help.

admin

December 3, 2013 at 8:06 pm

Usually you want to give it around 2-3 days.
Abby

December 3, 2013 at 8:35 pm

I really afraid i’ll love him for good in the 30 days. And i know he will be texting me during those 30 days to make sure I’m still ‘alive’ b/c of some incident in the past. If I ignore him, he will think I’m dead. Can I reply with a text like “still alive” and ignore the rest and not let that interfere with the 30 day NC?
admin

December 5, 2013 at 12:42 am

Yes if you think itll kind of give him some rope BUT I usually wouldn’t do it.
Abby

December 3, 2013 at 8:42 pm

lose him for good* sorry for the typo

Joan

December 3, 2013 at 4:26 am

This is a very interesting site, well for me this is the site I need right now. I am in the same situation, my LDR is not talking to me for 2 months he said it was about work, but then after 2 months I contacted him and he said that he slowly lost feelings in me cause he didnt feel I love him when we meet in person. I tried to explain why I go distant when we were together that I was confused and scared about his love to me. He said he loves me but want space that his love is clouded by the reality that it takes time to really know the person. I emailed him lots of explanations but seem he doesnt care. Now I try to stop sending him email, what should I do? Now I realize that I love him and want him back. Please help.

admin

December 3, 2013 at 7:51 pm

I think NC is smartest for you.
joan

December 4, 2013 at 11:53 am

Now I find out that he is back to the dating site where we meet, should I go there again to makechim jealous or just do the NC? Please help I dont want to make mistake in wanting him back. Thnks
Joan

December 4, 2013 at 2:30 pm

oops I fail the NC, I just emailed him and said I let him go so that I will not disturb him. I dont know if that is right or wrong, but now what I think is that if he loves me he will not let me go. I learned from what you said about your father and the car, the art of letting go.
admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:19 am

I think you are doing it perfectly! 🙂
Joan

December 5, 2013 at 2:09 am

Thanks hope things will be ok, emailing him is not helping at all it just make me sad even more, now I will use the NC but what is the thing I need to do aside from NC as you said? thanks Cris
admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:36 pm

Well, really strive to re-become the ungettable girl.
Joan

December 5, 2013 at 2:17 am

one more thing, can I go to the site to make him know that like him I am also searching again? it just it confuse me I dont want to do things that will worsen our situation. thanks for the advice really confuse right now.
admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:35 pm

I actually wouldn’t.
joan

December 4, 2013 at 11:35 pm

The truth is I am lossing hope on us, the fact that he is looking for other girls now id hurting me, what would I do I love him but it sseems he is ignoring me now, is it ok yo still us NC even if I had send him emails for more thsn a week?
Joan

December 4, 2013 at 4:15 am

I think I had emailed him a lot and irritate him more, can NC still save us? Now he has not replied to my emails, is there still a chance for us? thanks Cris
admin

December 5, 2013 at 1:02 am

Well, NC can help but it isn’t going to solve all the problems. You have to do a little more than that.

SML

December 2, 2013 at 5:07 pm

Hey Chris,I don’t know if you remember my story, but basically I have had some kind of “reaction” from the ex since our last contact, although it hasn’t been direct. Basically he sent me the so-called-job-emails the following week. At first, I ignored them because I thought he would get the hint that this approach was a stupid, especially because he perfectly understood over the phone that I wasn’t interested and that at some point I just said “O.K.” to put an end to the conversation. But that same week he sent more, and at that point I said that I thanked his intention but that I preferred he rather not send them. Days later he wrote me back a “wordy” email explaining how during the call he had said this, then I had said that, and that was why he had sent them. Well, in my opinion – he isn’t that dumb, is he? Since I really didn’t have anything to say – I didn’t and haven’t up until now. In the meanwhile, during these recent times, his mother (with whom I get along with)told me that he had been asking about me and asked her to ask me if I wanted to receive the emails through her instead. Besides this, the other day he asked about one of our chats and she said he got pissed off when she told him that we talked about my outings, friends, projects and future children with whomever comes my way. She said he got really upset and didn’t find humor in any of this. My question is…could this mean something? He always tells her that he still loves me… and he never told me otherwise, but at this point, how can I still believe this if he hasn’t shown he wants to get back? I fear he will only feel the need once he comes back home for good and at that point, many things will have changed. I’m having a hard time understanding what to do and how to act. I have been consistent with my posture and don’t know how I should act, or if it’s working little by little and he’s beginning to break…

SML

December 5, 2013 at 2:31 am

Hey Chris,
Thanks for your response. My original message for you which I got no reply from was this one: SML
December 2, 2013 | 5:07 pm
Hey Chris,I don’t know if you remember my story, but basically I have had some kind of “reaction” from the ex since our last contact, although it hasn’t been direct. Basically he sent me the so-called-job-emails the following week. At first, I ignored them because I thought he would get the hint that this approach was a stupid, especially because he perfectly understood over the phone that I wasn’t interested and that at some point I just said “O.K.” to put an end to the conversation. But that same week he sent more, and at that point I said that I thanked his intention but that I preferred he rather not send them. Days later he wrote me back a “wordy” email explaining how during the call he had said this, then I had said that, and that was why he had sent them. Well, in my opinion – he isn’t that dumb, is he? Since I really didn’t have anything to say – I didn’t and haven’t up until now. In the meanwhile, during these recent times, his mother (with whom I get along with)told me that he had been asking about me and asked her to ask me if I wanted to receive the emails through her instead. Besides this, the other day he asked about one of our chats and she said he got pissed off when she told him that we talked about my outings, friends, projects and future children with whomever comes my way. She said he got really upset and didn’t find humor in any of this. My question is…could this mean something? He always tells her that he still loves me… and he never told me otherwise, but at this point, how can I still believe this if he hasn’t shown he wants to get back? I fear he will only feel the need once he comes back home for good and at that point, many things will have changed. I’m having a hard time understanding what to do and how to act. I have been consistent with my posture and don’t know how I should act, or if it’s working little by little and he’s beginning to break…
admin

December 5, 2013 at 6:38 pm

This process is not going to happen overnight so just keep chiping away like you alluded to.

At the same time I never think its smart to wait around for him. He needs to know that you won’t always be there for him.
SML

December 6, 2013 at 2:34 am

Oh but he hasn’t heard for me in months and knows nothing except what his mother tells him – and it’s not much because I’m careful about what I share because I don’t want her to be passing on information. So – in his book, all he knows is very basic stuff, including that I’m moving on… Of course I wish we would want me back, but I don’t give in to speaking to him or showing him in any way whatsoever that I’m here waiting for him. Especially because i was the one who cut him off! He will be arriving back home during X-mas and I don’t know what to do, what to say if he wants to meet up? Should I? If so, what would be my point if I cut the bond in the first place? Or should I resist and simply say I’m busy? This means I will not see him for another 4 months or so from then on…At the same time I don’t want to jump up and say yes and risk hurting even more, of course I want to see him and hope he will have something more profound to share with me..I’ve thought of confronting him and telling him to tell me in my face that he no longer loves me. I’m really confused.
SML

December 7, 2013 at 2:00 am

SML
December 6, 2013 | 2:34 am
Oh but he hasn’t heard for me in months and knows nothing except what his mother tells him – and it’s not much because I’m careful about what I share because I don’t want her to be passing on information. So – in his book, all he knows is very basic stuff, including that I’m moving on… Of course I wish we would want me back, but I don’t give in to speaking to him or showing him in any way whatsoever that I’m here waiting for him. Especially because i was the one who cut him off! He will be arriving back home during X-mas and I don’t know what to do, what to say if he wants to meet up? Should I? If so, what would be my point if I cut the bond in the first place? Or should I resist and simply say I’m busy? This means I will not see him for another 4 months or so from then on…At the same time I don’t want to jump up and say yes and risk hurting even more, of course I want to see him and hope he will have something more profound to share with me..I’ve thought of confronting him and telling him to tell me in my face that he no longer loves me. I’m really confused.

Reply
admin

December 7, 2013 at 7:49 pm

Don’t confront him. No one deals well with an agressive confrontation.
SML

December 10, 2013 at 10:22 pm

So what should I do…? He’ll be arriving next week…if he wants to meet up, what should I say? How should I act? I’m really confused and lost here. People who are close say he doesn’t speak to me because I asked him to back away for a while if he had nothing good to say…but he’s the typical contradictory kind and I couldn’t deal with that. So he eventually said, “it’s better for me to shut up then share how I feel”. So at this point we haven’t spoken or seen each other in a really long time… I don’t know how to take it from here. Just to note; nothing about me is agressive, nor was that the way I communicated or interacted with the person I was with so I wouldn’t really use that approach. How do I get all the answers, clear the air and give him a reality check without getting hurt? Tough, huh? This was an amazing, 5 year relationship. He needed “space” and “time”. We were only long distance for approximately a year – but it unfortunately took a toll on the rest. I thought this person was going to be my person. Deep down inside I still believe he is but I am moving on and trying to live with inner peace and serenity…Another thing I’m struggling with is that I may be leaving to another country for work…. Life’s messed up and messy. I really love this guy, but don’t know how to take it from here. Thanks for your advice, Chris…
admin

December 12, 2013 at 1:26 am

Well, the fact that you may be leaving the country will really complicate things. How long will you be gone for?
SML

December 12, 2013 at 6:46 pm

Well, he doesn’t live in the country either, he has left to England and has just been there for a little over a year. He’s just coming for the holiday, not permanently… when he will be back, I don’t know, I have no idea of what’s going on in his life at that level. I don’t know if I’m going yet, i’m waiting for a response, but i’m assuming it will be ongoing 6-month contract or a year. I do fantasize that if he ever wants me he would make the sacrifice I did and move to Germany, which is where I would be. It’s complicated. He’s coming and I don’t know how to act, what to say, what to share, what to imply or not imply… Is is bad to tell him I still love him but I’m moving on? Or should he just understand that without me saying anything. Bah! Help Chris. I don’t know what the best approach is for him to “wake up”…We haven’t seen or spoken in months. I’m very nervous. It’s all mixed up and messed up and my heart is breaking. Today was one of those “feeling like I got hit by a bus” days. At this point what I think I really and ultimately want to understand is if he has forgotten me for good (curious to know since he tells his mother that he still loves me and can’t imagine a future without me!) and if in fact, I have to forget him forever. How do I do this?
SML

December 14, 2013 at 8:01 pm

I have been living NC since September…
admin

December 13, 2013 at 6:59 pm

Well, have you attempted any type of NC rule yet?
SML

December 3, 2013 at 10:02 pm

Hey Chris, sorry to be a pain. I’m just wondering if you’re getting my posts. Just asking because I haven’t seen any reply to mine. I know you’re busy. Thanks
admin

December 5, 2013 at 12:51 am

I got this one… not sure about the other ones though.

Janae

December 2, 2013 at 3:36 am

Hello again! So, I waited five days and then texted him, and we had a positive conversation for about an hour, he called me by sweet nicknames and we joked around, but then he proceeded with the whole “brb baby :)” thing again, and didn’t text back. So, after 4 hours I told him I was going to bed. He instantly responded saying sorry that he took so long and that he loved me and said good night back. So at least he said something this time, but it annoys me a little that he does the whole “brb” but not text back thing. But it was different this time as he didn;t ignore me when I said goodnight So, should I wait another 5 days before I try again or do you think things are fine?

admin

December 2, 2013 at 7:01 pm

No 2-3 days.
Janae

December 3, 2013 at 5:54 am

Okay thank you 🙂

Libby

December 1, 2013 at 11:25 pm

Hey,
I was just wondering what would be your opinion if I totally blocked all contact from him and want to reach out again. Five months ago I deleted my facebook and changed my number, and we were having some problems before but they never really got resolved so I was just over it after few times of breaking up over 3 years. The other times he always begged to get back together so that’s why I deleted my accounts – I didn’t want to hear from him. But now I do. And I’m not sure if I should proceed the normal way you suggested or throw an apology in there as well.
Thanks,
Libby

admin

December 2, 2013 at 6:51 pm

I would proceed the way I suggest. Apologies can come later haha.

Christina

December 1, 2013 at 3:26 pm

Hi Chris,

My long-distance ex and I were fighting about him doesn’t have time to talk to me, but partying. After one big fight, he broke up with me.

First he says, “I’m sure it will work well if we are in the same city. But I can’t imagine this relationship in long distance it is going to be difficult for me to build new friendships in this new city.

A while later, he said his love is gone because of the fights.

Can I still win him back? He broke up for both emotional and rational reasons.

If so, how to tackle both emotional and rational sides?

ps. Doing NC now.

admin

December 1, 2013 at 7:13 pm

I think you can! But I think getting through NC is not going to be easy.
Christina

December 1, 2013 at 7:29 pm

Haha, I’ll come to you if I’m about to cave down in NC.

But I may need some further instructions about how to 1. gain his love again, 2. make him realize LDR will not stand in the way of us making our own new life in new cities. (I told him how we can tackle this problem, but he says it’s still hard…)

Could you point me a general roadmap, so I can think about a specific plan?
admin

December 2, 2013 at 6:33 pm

Sounds like a plan!

1. With time and hitting the right emotional buttons.
2. This is something that he has to figure out on his own and you can only influence him.

rav khurana

December 1, 2013 at 1:00 pm

and yes, it has again been six onths since we broke up again…the reason was that it was only i who used to call..he, most of the times ignored my calls..whenever he was at home while in relationship both the times,he always called me at night after his parents slept and used to tell me how much he loves me but both the times when he went back to college, he started ignoring me by saying that he was busy while he actually wasnt..when we broke up for the first time,he said that he cannot talk to me whole day and that i was irritating him being the same person who used to get insecure if i didnt pick up his call everytime that he called me when we had just moved to our respective colleges..but then when we came into relationship for the secong time, i tried to understand him and called him very less(hardly 2-3 times a day and that too only for a minite or two)..he had exams that time and whenever i called he told me that he was studying which was absolutely fine for me( even though he lied as i realized later)..but when his exams were over,he still made the same excuses and then i got to know that he was ignoring me.. all i expected was that he should talk to me atleast once a day politely…but he was always busy playing with his friends…i know he has his life but i dont think that asking for hardly half an hour fron the 24 hours is too much…this is how our fights started..and once he told me that i should be happy that he calls me atleast once in three days and on that day he broke up with me

rav khurana

December 1, 2013 at 7:19 pm

did you get only this response?? it was an addition as a comment to my own question
admin

December 2, 2013 at 6:31 pm

Yes this is the only one I think I got.

Deanee

December 1, 2013 at 3:00 am

hey . i just read this blog. some articles you’ved wrote here can help me but we didnt contact each other on facebook since augus 2013 until this time. i just send him a message and he didnt reply anymore.
i just send him a message about my feelings like i still love him and saying sorry about what i’ve done etc. and he replied ” that’s okay. you can move on just don’t think about it because it can destroy your life”
then i replied aaawwww. so both of us can’t get another chance? he didnt reply and i send another message like hey.. i’ll wait until you’ll say hi to me.

after that he didnt reply anymore. i checked the message and he didn’t seen it.

is he moved on? or what??

admin

December 1, 2013 at 6:37 pm

Did the two of you ever date?
Deanee

December 2, 2013 at 11:30 am

No. we never dated before. we are more on facebook , calls and texts.

Emma

November 30, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Hi Chris,

I am from Singapore and he is from France. We both studied in the same school in UK. We were best friend back then 5 years ago. One day, We became couple. In this 2 years relationship, We have met each others parents and family because we both are very commit to this relationship. We both see future marriage together which even we hold different passports and we never felt this way to any ex before. Everything around us just worked out perfectly. We have no problem with living together even with both of our parents. Our parents even treated each other like their own child. We give each other enough privacy. We both respect each other’s decision and personal life.

However, Things changed recently. As I said we are both from different places. After we graduated, we decided to go to the same place for our internship. He went there for his internship 6 months ago and meanwhile I got the intern offer and still waiting for visa application. We have been waiting to see each other for almost 9 months.

During 9 months, we managed to skype each other everyday or every 2 days depends on his schedule. He has been there alone for 6 months and kept waiting for me. Some of the memories we had or feeling is fading out slowly. I know it is normal for nine months separated. But we both keep supporting each other understanding it was just bad moment of our life. We are both very depressed and believe things will go better when we meet again.

Then a month ago, he told me he wants to break up with me. He said he couldnt have long distance anymore. he dont want to go through all these waiting again after we both finish our internship after 6 months. he felt he should be responsible to my life. He dont want me to follow him anywhere he has to go, waste my time and sacrifice my career. He felt like right now his life is very stress, uncertain and insecure.

I have been contacting him till a week ago. Try to cheer him up and let him know my visa will be ready very soon. Then he told me his feeling for me have faded away in this time he hasn’t seen me. At this moment, he is really lost about his future and he has so much stress and thoughts in his mind that he do not want to share with anyone. The only thing he knows is his career path and want to focus on him first. But he still cares about me as my best friend. He felt very sorry to make me suffer from this. He wants me to move on and do whatever the best for myself. He cannot be sure about his feelings for me. He even told me its all about the timing, long distance, feeling at the moment and stress that he has. But he will not close the door to come back to me in the future. Just this moment of his life he cannot be back with me till the right timing and place.

Recently, he started to stop reply my msg since 2 days ago ( I only sent him one). He read it without an reply. He changed his facebook relationship status and his profile pic to his own face from my gift to him.

Chris, my working visa will be ready soon. I still have faith in our relationship and believe we can manage to go through this bad moment. I know he is just lost and too stress. He was very desperate to see me before he reached the bottom. He said if i could go there few months ago, this will not happen at all because now he had reached his limit of waiting. We were very committed to our relationship and decided to get engage after we both get a job. Our families agreed with that too. But right now, What can I do? Is the NC rule works on us? What if I will be there in less than 30 days? Should I reach him when I arrive? I am very lost right now. Please give me some advise I am very appreciate about it.

admin

December 1, 2013 at 6:12 pm

I think the NC rule can work for you BUT it is not going to be an easy thing to do. Trust me on that.
Emma

December 2, 2013 at 4:12 am

So what you mean is even i apply the NC rule, the possibility to get him back is low? and y?? I have a strong feeling that once we meet again the fading feeling will be back. what else i can do to fight for this? i just cannot lose him easily unless i have try my best. otherwise i will regret so much.

Josiane

November 26, 2013 at 8:02 pm

Chris, you’re awesome! :p hehe and I want your help in my case too, okay? Thank you really much:

By January last year, I met my ex online ….and in the following March I decided I was in love with him…NOW I know that’s sick (by the way I’m 32 and he’s 38) but then I really believed it and I started being a texting gnat…..for 18 monthssnet and he eventually came to visit me here in my country and we met in person last September( he’s from US, I’m Brazilian :p ). He stayed here at home ( by now I already know that was a silly idea …I mean a lot of pressure, my two kids, etc…oh by the way: why do you say it’s bad to have kids in a LDR Chris?) for 10 days…On the third night we kissed!!!! 🙂 and in the next day he told me he loved me!!!! Okay….then he left making plans for me to go and visit with kids this Christmas….but after two weeks had left he broke up with me :(!!!! He gave me the “it’s me not you excuse”…. oh boy …it devastated me…. but as a experienced gnat I didn’t give up and we decided to keep texting as friends ( I thought I was doing myself a favor…can you believe it?!) and he was very sweet and we even were saying that we love each other ….. but (a non romantic love according to him 🙁 Wich I never really believed…tell me, Chris…do you think is that possible? Man….I mean how I was a assumed gnat he knew everytime I said I loved him I was meaning it romantically…you know? But I do was trying to be his best friend too..oh boy I was so lost…then I got angry 11 days ago when he said again that we should try to met other people and not to rely so much on each other and I said bye and didn’t text him since then. But if I haven’t been a test gnat again is because I found your website on the third day I was ignoring him… :0) on the fifth day, following your advices I deleted all of my Fbook (we texted thought Fbook) pictures and left some “under construction” images while I improve myself ;)….and that made him send me a msg last Thursday….and thanks to you I didn’t replied it! 🙂 and I’m assuming he might be pretty intrigued by now…..
So what do you think, Chris?

admin

November 27, 2013 at 7:13 pm

I think you are doing a lot of things right you just have to keep being patient.
Josiane

November 27, 2013 at 8:03 pm

Thank you very much…..you encouragement worlds are Vera importantes to me 🙂
Josiane

November 27, 2013 at 8:10 pm

Oh Boys…sorry…it was my crazy keyboard input system: I meant: your encouragement words were very important.

Aki

November 26, 2013 at 9:27 am

Hi Chris,
I commented yesterday,I think again you did not receive.

So,after the three days of my first text to him after NC,I contacted him yesterday.He did not initiate any call/ text after my first text.Though he seemed happy after my first text as I told you in my conversation and spoke to me nicely in yesterdays conversation too when I sent him a funny meme and he responded to it nicely.

Queries are as below –

1: I contacted him twice after NC and he spoke very nicely.Should I wait for him to contact me now or I go ahead with the next step of your guide.If I should go ahead with the next step,after a gap of how many days should I do that ?

2: After 15 days of our break up,I lost my job.I have contacted him twice after NC but did not tell this to him,thinking that what will he think of me.Confused.I want to tell him.Should I tell this to him in our next conversation? I am looking for another job.
Thansk Chris 🙂

admin

November 26, 2013 at 8:16 pm

1. No you can go ahead.

2. Yes I think you should.
Aki

November 28, 2013 at 6:16 pm

Hi Chris,
I contacted him twice after NC,he spoke very nicely too.But did not initiate any contact from his side.Can you guess why ? He is not that busy I know.Because when I text him he has all the time to respond to me.
Secondly,I contacted him twice with a gap of 3 days after NC.How many days gap should I keep,or I should contact him daily to follow the steps in your guide ?
admin

November 29, 2013 at 1:57 am

You should aim to contact him daily after NC BUT only if he is positively responding.
Aki

December 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm

Hello Chris,
How are you ?
So,after my two contacts made in a gap of 3 days ,again after 3 days I messaged him.He was with his friends enjoying the long weekend.He responded but I did not continue the conversation much just because he was with his friends..just said ok and ended the conversation.So,here I was finding the correct moment to send him the REMEMBER MESSAGE ..the third one in your guide.again in two days I messaged him telling him about my job.He spoke to me nicely.finally the next day he sent me a joke,I responded with a joke too.so again the next day I messaged him according to his free timings (due to time difference,I needed to wake up early to match with his free timings).Today was the second consecutive day I messaged him according to his timings.But these two days ,I started the conversation,he responded too but not like very excited to respond like he was in the first 3 texts by me after NC.In fact today I sent him the remember message too,to which he responded a “yes” and suddenly started telling me a serious topic of his office.So It has now been continuous 4 days I messaged him.He messaged a joke in between too.But from the last two days when I am sending him the texts according to his timings ,I am finding the responses not very exciting,but yes not harsh too.
1: Should I not message him daily ?
2: Should I send him the Remember kind of text again ?
3: Should I contact him like before ,when he used to be in office and I am free or continue to send text according to his free time.I observed when I messaged him while he was busy,he was responding with excitement,but when I text him when he is free,he responds nicely to me but not that exciting.Doesn’t ask me much about my life.
Aki

December 29, 2013 at 1:21 pm

Hi Chris,

On 21st of November I contacted my boyfriend first after NC period.The first two text messages of your guide went so well.but after that it’s max exchange of internet memes or jokes.Sometimes general talks over texts.Generally after every three days either he or myself initiating( meme,joke or generally a Hi).Till date its just exchange of messages.One exciting thing which happened last week is on Monday he initiated sex over text messages.And then till Saturday didn’t say anything then I texted him yesterday that why does he want sex with me ? He said because I love it with you.Then I said if it’s any other girl will it be the same ,he said No it will not be the same.
How is it going Chris? Its been a month and 10 days and we are still chatting on text in every three days mostly.Please suggest something .

Janae

November 26, 2013 at 8:18 am

Hey Chris! Things were going exceedingly well, if I wasn’t texting him he was texting me, and we ended up talking every night. He even told me he wanted to marry me someday. After a while of talking on that particular night, I ended the conversation telling him goodnight but he had told me we should talk the next day. So, the next night I wrote him, but he didn’t respond for hours later (I was asleep by this point) saying he was busy with a friend and that he was sorry he didn’t see my text. Then I got some bad news today, and I texted him about it and he was there for me, but then after about a half an hour of texting he said brb and never ended up writing me back :/ not sure how to feel about this, but maybe should I not write him for a few days or wait for him to write first?

admin

November 26, 2013 at 8:13 pm

I agree cool off for a few days before you go back into it.
Janae

November 27, 2013 at 4:50 am

Thanks for your response 🙂 Should I wish him a Happy Thanksgiving when it comes or is that too soon? By that time it will have been about 3 days, probably too soon huh?
admin

November 27, 2013 at 8:02 pm

I wouldn’t
Janae

November 28, 2013 at 9:41 am

Also, I forgot to mention the last time I talked to him I told him I was gonna try to not stay up so late anymore and that I might not have my cellphone for a while(but we usually talk really late at night)so I’m worried one of the reasons he isn’t writing is because he doesn’t know I’m up late still(I haven’t been too successful on getting to sleep earlier lol), or do you think that’s not really a factor? Sorry for all the stupid questions haha 😛

Emma

November 25, 2013 at 10:03 pm

Hi Chris,
We’d been together 4 years and lived together, loved each other, since he started his business trip 7 months ago, started a problems, he got an urge all the time, so he told me every time after his business trip( 2weeks upto one month) that he thought he has a problems with me cause get an urge all the time with other girls and finally when he went in another country during this november, he broke up with me after one week later during the trip cause he met a girl there and he was horny(my thought), so after finished with me he slept with the girl. When he was came back couple of days ago he wanted to talk in person, told me that sorry he lost his feeling about me, but not because the girl, she is just friend with benefits, the girl is not the reason that he broke up with me and any girl would do the same now we are officially broke up and he will go back to that country for one year, the girl is still there. I don’t think I have a hope in this case. And how he could sleep with other girl after right away breakup.

admin

November 26, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Its pretty bad ill admit… Let me ask why you want him back?
Emma

November 27, 2013 at 7:31 pm

Hello Chris,
Sorry to bother you again, so I didn’t get any answer that mean is in this my case, there is nothing I get do.
You think that there is no chance to get back my ex?
admin

November 28, 2013 at 5:07 am

No I think there is itll just take some time.
Emma

November 26, 2013 at 7:24 pm

Hey Chris,
Because we were in period of lassitude and it was bad timing that he started to working distance during the period, we were good when we were together normally, we even were thinking that have a baby together, I was sure that we could fix this but his last business trip was really bad. Today before his departure for working, he was stop by, and he was crying, he told me really sorry and he didn’t know how to fix the our problem. Also he told he might regret after a while but for him it’s going to be late to return to me.
Emma

November 26, 2013 at 7:31 pm

Beside, he never had a long relationship before, accept his first love but that was in high school so… he told me he was afraid that be a father too also. He got a cold feet. He thought that might have a period of lassitude after 20 years not in 4 years. He didn’t believe that too.
Emma

November 25, 2013 at 10:11 pm

One more thing, but during he was there even after finished with me, he was calling me a lot of times and told me he regret but lost his mind that he doesn’t know what he wanted to do. After came back when he see me in person, he told me he will never forget me, I was really good for him, and still have a feelings for me. What is that? I really don’t know what in his mind.

Tania

November 24, 2013 at 8:54 pm

Hello Chris,

Sorry to bother you again but, any suggestions on how to do things in my case? Remember he is kind of ignoring me after NC, we meet now on Christmas and are on a break (but haven’t talked at all for a month), he has no internet (only wifi) or normal calling text functions, etc. So I am just playing my all once we meet. I don’t know if you have any suggestions on how should I act because PRO and all the website it’s mainly by texts… Such a luck mine…

admin

November 25, 2013 at 7:20 pm

How you should act during the meet up? Have you read my guide on what to do during a date?
Tania

November 26, 2013 at 7:22 am

Yes, I did, but it’s quite different when I am going to see him every day for 2 weeks and stay at the same place in a 24h basis. Lol.
admin

November 26, 2013 at 8:09 pm

Yes that tends to complicate things…
Tania

November 27, 2013 at 5:23 pm

Any suggestions? Or just be myself, enjoy the trip and whatever it is?
admin

November 27, 2013 at 8:39 pm

Pretty much just be in the moment and stop stressing.

Sam

November 24, 2013 at 1:19 pm

Hi Chris – I think your advice is great but not sure if it will work in my case? I knew my ex for years and we were casual friends (workplace friendship) but we both fancied each other the whole time. Tim tried to go out with me but I kept it professional. I moved away and we didn’t speak/interact for about 4 years. Then, after a different break up of mine, Tim contacted me and we started communicating on email for a bit. Tim had moved away to Germany for work and he invited me to come to stay, which I took up on the offer because I was so low from my break up and Tim and I always had that connection I was comfortable with.

Prior to the trip we used Skype and email for 2 hours a day and had a great, funny conversations – it was brilliant! On the actual trip, it was the best holiday Ive had, we were so comfortable with each other that all he talked about was a future together and planned for me to go back within 2 weeks and look for jobs! I wasn’t convinced at first but then after a week of wooing, I thought I’d jump in there too.

I went back 2 weeks later and everything changed…he wasn’t as nice anymore, quite dismissive in some cases and I felt that I had done something wrong. We continued down this road for 7 months – some trips were fantastic whilst others were not. Tim visited me in the UK and met both sides of parents. In fact, Tim asked my parents to visit in the new year. I had sensed for a while that I wasn’t getting what I deserve in the relationship – he never said that he missed me, or did anything to show that he missed me (even something like “I can’t wait to see you” or “wish you were here” or anything. When I brought that up, he would say “you’re hard done by aren’t you” and basically dismissed it.

I initiated the break up 2 weeks ago and he didn’t fight for it, claiming that he doesn’t feel as strongly as I do and explaining that he knows he has been hot and cold and apologised for it.

I initiated the NC rule but yesterday, I had to contact him to arrange for my stuff to be sent back – I really need a lot of the stuff back so that I don’t have to buy anything else (im skint from a LDR!!).

My email was light and airy, I hoped he was ok, that I was really good and happy etc and if he needs any help (cost wise) getting my stuff back, to let me know.

So, after all that info above, I want to know…firstly, am I stupid to want him back because I deserve a happy relationship and have self respect? and secondly, if someone has always liked you and you liked them but after 3 months just decides it’s too much, is it worth even trying to rekindle this? He has replied to the email saying that he will parcel my things up and not to worry about the cost, and that he is glad I am happy. He’s also offered to send me some information by email about one our common interests. I think he expects me to email back straight away but after reading your info, I think I won’t at all! He says that he will Skype me when he has done the parcel.

I don’t think this chapter has ended yet (says my heart and perhaps not my brain..heheh) so I wonder whether I should see how this plays out and not reply now that I have his attention?

Do you think anyone that still has some feelings would actually parcel the stuff back to their ex or is this a sign that actually he has moved on?

admin

November 24, 2013 at 8:14 pm

Well.. first of fjust tell me what you have done so far?
Sam

November 24, 2013 at 9:24 pm

Weirdly, I’ve just received my first email from him about our mutual common interest and I haven’t replied – even to say thank you. He’s asked me to tell him how I get on with it (it was a suggestion to do something). I’m thinking with your advice, I should leave it now and then maybe in a week or too, see if he sends me another one saying “have you read my email yet”, or “how did you get on with my suggestion” etc.

I haven’t done anything so far since the break up – all I did was email him to ask him how I can get my stuff back because it is in Germany. Is that what you meant by your question “tell me what you have done so far?”? Its only been two weeks so I haven’t done anything since then – I did the NC rule (not because I wanted him back, just to try and get over him quicker…have been here before with others and know the drill!)
admin

November 25, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Yes.. just NC for 2 weeks. Well, wait another 2 weeks and then reach out to him.
Sam

December 24, 2013 at 9:09 pm

Hi Chris – just thought I would post you an update. First though, Happy Christmas!!

So, I kind of gave up on any idea of us getting back together after my last post because I honestly thought that if someone wants to be with you then they will move heaven and earth to do it so I started to grieve and started the process of moving on.

In the meantime, he sent me more emails about our mutual interest and I always left it approx. 5 days before answering and when I did I was cordial but business like rather than flirty or anything.

Anyway, I still hadn’t got my stuff back and he had promised that he had sent it off so I asked about it again and he confirmed he had sent it by courier.

As I said before, I was due to visit in Jan and had already bought my tickets so I decided about a week ago that I was still going to go on holiday and I will use the tickets even if I am on my own – I needed the break etc.

So I asked him again where the parcel was and I also told him that I was coming over to Spain on holiday. He immediately asked if I wanted to stay at his which took me by surprise. I said that its ok, thanks but I have already booked an apartment. He was still insisting that I could stay at his until his parents arrive the following week – he also said that my parcel was returned at is still at his house so I need to come over anyway to pick them up.

I left it a day or so and then he called me on Skype. It was about 20 mins, it was a nice, friendly call. He asked if I was coming over with anyone (in particular he asked if it was a male I was travelling with) and he also kept saying that I should stay there to save money. I declined but thanked him and told him that the apartment I have booked is only down the road. He explicitly said that he will make me feel very welcome even when his family arrive (don’t forget I have already met them and my family were meant to be joining the party in Jan too). He even assumed that I would need a lift from the airport but I said I have hired a car so no need.

Anyway – I’m a little confused. Is this normal for a male friend to offer all this support to a woman, and especially an ex?? I have wished him Happy Christmas today and turned my Skype off so that I am not tempted to call.

I’m worried that I’m looking too much into this and it’s giving me some hope for this to be something else.

What do you think? Is this normal ex-behaviour or do you think he is interested???!!
admin

December 26, 2013 at 5:40 pm

Merry Christmas!

Do I think he is interested in you or in someone else?
Sam

December 30, 2013 at 1:35 pm

I just want to know if it’s a good sign or not if he has asked me to stay at his? If the shoe was on the other foot and I was the one he was visiting, I wouldn’t ask him to stay at mine (if I didn’t want to go back out with him) as it’s too awkward.

I’m not aware that he is with anyone else and he hasn’t mentioned anyone else so I guess I am asking, do you think he is still interested in me – considering the actions he has taken recently.

Thanks!

Jocelynn

November 24, 2013 at 8:05 am

Hi Chris,

I’m beginning to wonder if I was the rebound girl. My ex broke up with me after 2 1/2 months of dating. He broke up with his last girlfriend of 4 years at the end of July and we went on our first date at the end of August. Things were seeming okay, but he lives/lived an hour away and just got a job as a waiter. He works every single day and he just couldn’t see our schedules working out.

But his last relationship they were in a 3 1/2 hour long distance relationship and they made that work for about 2 years.

He broke up with me on Monday and today he unfriended me on Facebook. I have had no contact with him since the break up. I’m trying the whole NC thing and want to see if your guide can help us. But I just want to know if I was the rebound girl and why he unfriended me.

Sorry for the long story!

Thanks

admin

November 24, 2013 at 7:54 pm

You feel YOU are a rebound? Is that what you are saying?
Jocelynn

November 25, 2013 at 6:41 am

I don’t feel like I was. But I could be wrong?
admin

November 25, 2013 at 8:08 pm

You really need to do some soul searching on this one.

Cathy

November 24, 2013 at 8:04 am

hey Chris!
I am from Taiwan and my ex bf is swedish.We have been dated for like 3 months and in August He came to Taiwan to see me. Then after 8days he went back, we still talked. he called me everyday and missed me. But things changed quickly.He broke up with me in October. He said he thinks it is too hard with the distance and he didnt love me that much anymore. We still talk ever since. I tried to ask him to get back with me .He always says that we shod just be friends. Is it too late to start the NC rule now?? I have tried 8 days but I failed. so Is it too late to try again for 30 days? will he even care?

admin

November 24, 2013 at 7:49 pm

No you are not too late. You are just on time.Go for it.
Cathy

December 1, 2013 at 4:35 pm

I made a big mistake Chris.I called him and I.was crying begging him to take me back. But he said he had moved on and had no feelings for me. We broke up in October though. Since he said he has moved on and had no feelings for me. Should I still do the NC rules to try to get him back ? or I just try to get over him for good? Will there be a chance for us since my emotions kinda screwd this chance up?

Natasha

November 24, 2013 at 6:17 am

Hi Chris,
I’ve been in a relationship with my ex for about a year time. He was crazy about me and I wasn’t that into him till few months earlier. We had great times together and we really loved each other in the end. We had some long distance relationship since he had to go back to France to study and i had to stay in Australia to study as well but everything went well till I ended up cheating on him which I completely regret. I told him the truth and he was really hurt but ended up forgiving me. I recently went to France for a period of 3 months to pay him a visit and to travel to Europe together. We had amazing times together however, we had several huge fights where things ended up bad with breaking up and going back together trying to work things out. However, since I left Europe back to Australia, he has been acting distant and we ended arguing. He first said that he needed some space to figure what was going wrong in our relationship because he still wanted to be with me but after few days he said that he can’t be with me right now and that his feelings changed but that he still loves me and that I will always have a precious place in his heart and he would like to hear from me all the time. I got very hurt in the end, and sent him a letter saying sorry for all the things that I’ve done wrong, and telling him that I am hurt but that I will accept and respect his decision. I also said that is my last words since we can’t be friends. I told him I would give him all the pictures we had and he wants them as well. I’m trying to do the NC rule right now but I was wondering if it was a good idea if I send him all the memories we had together as I said I will do and no more than that. Would it make him miss me more during the NC?

Cheers

admin

November 24, 2013 at 7:42 pm

Not right off the bat after NC you kind of have to lead into the memory stuff.
Natasha

November 24, 2013 at 6:32 am

I just need to add that we were planning on seeing each other again in late december and apply for the same university for our masters before he breaks up.

sammy

November 23, 2013 at 6:27 pm

We were friends for one year. He was in a 3 years relationship and I had 2 relationships that year that didn’t work out. We talked eachother through it. He then told me he had feeling for me but he was unsure if it was going to work.

I didn’t want to encourage him since he was still in a relationship. I told him and he respected that. He broke up with her when he found out that she was cheating. Shortly after we started dating.

For the 2 weeks we were together it was really good. He treated me like a princess and told me he loved me. I wasn’t ready and I felt vulnerable to being a rebound but he assured me that he was sure. He travelled back to Spain and we started long distance.

Fast-forward to 2 months, everything was going well and he got a great job with crazy working hours. I got really ill and had to go to hospital. That same day was his sisters wedding. He called me in the morning and didn’t call till night. I was pissed cause it seemed like he didn’t care but he kept acting like it was normal. The next day I told him not to call me until he was sorted out with work time and family commitments. He didn’t call. I sent an email breaking up with him.

Long story short, all my efforts to get back has failed. Mutual friends have called him, I’ve sent emails apologising, text messages, phone calls etc. Nothing worked. Now he says he wants us to start as friends and see where it goes. He says everything that happened made his feeling change and he’s not ready for a relationship now but he wants to work towards it. It’s been a week and he has only called once.

What do I do?

admin

November 24, 2013 at 6:23 pm

Well tell me what you have done with regards to getting him back?
sammy

November 26, 2013 at 10:10 pm

Hey Chris, I’ve cried, pleaded, begged, asked friends to call him, sent text messages, emails etc. But he doesn’t seem interested.

He told my sister that he still loves me. But he told me that his feelings have changed. Now he wants to be friends and see how it goes. I don’t know what to do. We’ve only spoken twice since then.
admin

November 27, 2013 at 7:24 pm

Well ya… you begged for him back that isn’t very attractive..

« Previous 1 … 70 71 72 73 74 … 81 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

5,236 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”