Here's How You Can Understand Your Boyfriend- Manspeak 101

154 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Understanding Your Boyfriend”

Liz

August 25, 2015 at 3:42 am

Hello, I had a question regarding my boyfriend. Okay I’ll begin by saying that this is my first relationship and it is also his. There are times that he will take days to talk to me. As stubborn as I am, I will not contact him because if he wanted to talk to me he would. So after reading a part of this I thought maybe because he isn’t confident and doesn’t understand girls. But then I have the thought that maybe there is someone else. I don’t know how to tell if there is someone else or if he just doesn’t know what to do. Or maybe he’s just not interested anymore. I don’t know if it helps that we’ve been together for 3 months and that he’s a year younger.

Chris Seiter

August 25, 2015 at 4:49 pm

Will you want him back regardless of the situation? If that’s the case don’t worry why, just do the steps you need to, to get him back.

SouthIndia

August 17, 2015 at 4:06 am

My boyfriend and i were in relationship for two years. and we moved in together just three months back, we had lots of an argument, he says he cant see happy future and broke up with me. Even if he loves me, his sister doesnt like me, when we were in relationship, she used to pester him to leave this relationship, now i feel her influence is too much on him, how do i handle this?
Eve

February 27, 2015 at 5:51 am

Hello, love yr articles! They are very informative! My question is this.. My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of days ago. We only dated for 6 months. I told him I loved him at 3 months. He could never reciprocate. I made me feel insecure in the relationship. I began nit picking a lot of things. We only were able to spend weekends together due to children, work n school. Every moment we shared together was always amazing! It was afterwards I would create problems due to my own insecurities. I tried to break up w him 2 or 3 times, but always wanted him back. I just didn’t have any good reasons except I wanted to hear “I love you”. He always took me back. He asked me to b patient n wait for him, he said at one point it was just the words he couldn’t say. In the end I couldn’t take it anymore. I was now started to look ” needy”. It was grossing me out. So I broke up w him again. For real this time. He agreed and said.. It was not fair to string me along and he did not know when or if he could be where I am. But also said that he wasn’t saying he couldn’t either. What the heck does that mean?? Anyways.. 3 days later he texts me to wish me luck in court w my ex and to later find out what happened n calls me “Evie”. That’s like his sweet name for me. I call him later that night to express some things I had been feeling, (not trying to get back together, just apologizing for putting so much weight on him for my happiness) he asked if later down the road if I was ok w it, if we could hang out as friends? I don’t think I answered. He also called me a “rare find” and “not a lot of people left in this world like you”. I don’t know what to think? Does he love me? Is he confused? Does he want me back? We are suppose to trade our belongings in 2 days. I don’t know if I should meet him in person or just leave it for him to pick up. I have already broke the no contact rule this week but I’m confident I can reinstate it now, if it’s not to late? Please help!
Thank you
Just wanted to hear those 3 words
Cathy

February 25, 2015 at 11:21 am

Hi Chris,
It would really great some insight into the guys that quite frankly never want to be with us but never quite let you go. These tend to be the ones I pick up and there the ones that baffle me the absolute most as to whether I waste my time and life on attempting NC. These tend to be the guys that forever come back but never F off either. I’ve had a gander at a lot of your writing and I love it. However there is a little blanketing over the fellas that just truly waste our time.
Anyways if your about, that be great!
C
lharne

February 13, 2015 at 3:50 pm

Hi chris,

Me and my boyfriend are almost 2 years only. We have 1 year old son. He keep promising me a lot of things such as building a family since we are not yet married. he is working abroad, in short long distance relationship. When he get home for a vacation, i found out that he is keeping pictures of a girl. His telling that nothing between them that he has only a crush on her. When a boy get crush on a girl, even though your committed, still you have a reason of stalking to your crush, keeping pictures? His telling no sex or dating happen only on chatting, where in fact they are on the same workplace. Do i need to believe my boyfriend?
Asia

February 4, 2015 at 11:58 am

I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years. This has been the best boyfriend I have ever been with. There’s trust, he’s an great father to his 9 year old daughter even though she lives out of state, and there is the sexual desire. He is best friends with his ex and ex-wife. I have no worries of him at all. I think my depression has truly messed up our relationship. I am pregnant with our child and due in a few weeks. Recently he noticed that he wants to break up when the baby gets here and doesn’t notice me change. I am afraid to be honest, that may not happen. I am slightly jealous of these two women and mentioned it, I don’t hate them. I my mind he will deal with them and when he is ready he will leave them alone. I want to marry this man since this crazy depression he mentioned that marriage is out the window. Is this relationship worth it? We do live together with my daughter, she just turned 4. I just signed up for your site. 🙁

admin

February 4, 2015 at 2:29 pm

Have you read the pregnancy rules?
Asia

February 4, 2015 at 6:04 pm

No, my money is funny so I haven’t purchased anything or read anything.
admin

February 5, 2015 at 3:08 pm

You money is funny?

Hahaa what does that mean?

The site is free you can read that 🙂

Carla

December 16, 2014 at 2:44 am

We’ve been together for 1.5 years. Latter part of our relationship, it was rocky. Break up abd make up but I always initiate the makeup. He broke up with me 2mos ago. I got jealous on most of her girl classmates. Now it turns out her new girl is his classmate and he seems serious about her. And he hates talking about me. I dont know why he’s so mad at me. He told me I changed him because I was too controlling when in fact he is just too immature. He seemed happy and relieved that he broke up with me. He never contacted me eversince
Samantha

September 9, 2014 at 3:30 am

hi,
my boyfriend and I broke up 4 months ago, and since then its been an on again off again relationship. He intiates the break and the make up. He would randomly text me that he wants me back, that he really misses me and loves me. Then after a day he would start acting flakey, then say hes not ready and break up again. He did that around 4-5 times. Then finally a little over a week ago, when he started doing that again, I got really mad at him and told him that whenever he does that to me I get really insecure and its not fair for him to do that to me. I told him either leave me foor good or stay with me for good. Then, he said to be honest I never loved you and I was just “using” you, and he also said that he regrets everything bc i get too attached. Its been over a week since we’ve talked. I’m not sure what he’s doing and why. I do not want to contact him again, he really hurt me by what he said, but I just dont understand why he did what he did and what sould happen now.

admin

September 15, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Did his actions feel like someone who was just using you?

Tay

September 4, 2014 at 6:51 pm

Please write about boyfriends and social media sites. (Boyfriends liking girls pictures and following or adding as friend)
what does it mean?

admin

September 5, 2014 at 12:20 pm

I wrote a guide on Facebook and a guide on if he blocks you on social media.

Rituparna

June 3, 2014 at 8:52 am

Hi Chris, I am in love with a boy from past 2 years, we had sex several times, but the problem is we are from different religions and in our society that we live in its not possible to get married. so he always told me to be friends as we cant marry each other, and he also said that after marriage we will stop the physical intimacy parts but will remain as best of friends. he is really very caring, loving supporting that i always doubt that he also loves me but did not admit. Now his family have choosen a girl for him to marry, so he said me to maintain distance for few days and he stopped contacting me, i was very upset. suddenly i got an accident and he came to me after hearing the news, cares for me a lot, talked with me, hugged me, kissed me and told me that what he is doing for the sake of my happiness, bcause if we dont maintain a distance now it will hurt me more when he will get married to another girl. he told me to be normal and accept the reality. But the very next day he deleted me from his facebook, and when i asked him about that he told me that he has done it so that i can be lead a normal life very soon. and he requested me not to contact him or text him. i am so surprised, hurt and feeling insulted. but i felt his love at the day of accident. how can he change within one day? look i dont want to force him to be in a love relationship with me as he is going to be married, but I want friend back, we share a very very good relationship, and untill the day his marriage has been fixed we were very happy with each other, was no problem between us.

admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:26 pm

So, you are basically friends with benefits?
Rituparna

June 5, 2014 at 6:07 pm

yaa we are.. and i never forced him to go for the next level. I just want to know the reason y he has stopped contacting me. deleting from facebook is very childish i think.. and one more thing we are not only sex buddies… we are really best of friends, we never talked in phone about sex.. or not in every meeting we are having sex..
admin

June 6, 2014 at 5:14 pm

Yes but you are still having sex even though you aren’t an official couple correct?
Rituparna

June 7, 2014 at 8:31 am

no we are not having sex now, actually after his marriage has been fixed we did not get intimate, we met once during this time but not had sex, he decided to be friends only, now we are in NC for a week.

flo

March 30, 2014 at 10:02 pm

please shed some light on guys who are withholders. the kind of guys who would never say things like I love you, I miss you, you are beautiful etc. even if its clear from their actions that they do feel those things. My boyfriend is like that and sometimes I feel unloved. I am one of those people who need to hear these things, not all the time but at least a few times. we’ve been together almost a year and he has never once said these things to me. otherwise he is a great guy and he treats me really well.

admin

March 31, 2014 at 4:01 pm

To me I think that they must have been hurt or are too “above” saying stuff like that.

Have you ever talked to him about his inability to express things?

evie222

March 25, 2014 at 11:25 pm

I have a question. I met a man, he is Italian (from Italy) and he admits cheating on his wife during his marriage many times. He says he doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage and he thinks everything is the fault of the Pope and that love should not be regulated by laws. He says we are only animals, citing examples of high profile infidelty cases like Kennedy, Clinton, Mitterand, and Holland. He says it’s only the sign of dominant male to have many women.

I interpret this in two ways.

1. He’s shooing me away – by telling me he only is interested in having sex or some sort of fleeting relationship with me.

2. There is a certain logic to it.

Is he shooing me away? Or demanding only certain kind of relationship from me?

Or do you think he’s just telling the general truth about the world and about him.

admin

March 26, 2014 at 5:14 pm

Or he is full of it?

Look, a real man is committed.

Iva K

February 23, 2014 at 5:03 am

HEY CHRIS!
COULD YOU PLEASE REMOVE MY COMMENTS FROM THIS PAGE?
PLEASE!

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!
IVA

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:04 pm

Where are they?

Help!??

February 3, 2014 at 4:05 pm

Hey Chris!
I just had an intresting question to ask…can I get him back after 4 months? We dated for three years and it’s hard to read him. I read another blog and it said if you don’t hear from your ex anymore you can’t get them back is that true?? 🙁 well another question is do you believe in absence makes the heart grow fonder or wander. Out of sight out of mind?? How do I know do you have a guide written for this and if you don’t could you explain
hheartbrokengirl

January 31, 2014 at 11:07 pm

Hi Chris,

Me and my ex broke up about a month ago. We been together for 3years. We had family issues at the beginning of the relationships but we sticked by each other’s sides and got through it. But after a year of half of dating we started fighting,mainly because of me. I was jealous of this female friend he had and I don’t think it was appropriate the way she used speak to him so I told him to cut her off. He agreed but he lied about it and changed her name to a male name on his contact. So one day I was going through his whatsapp and saw her picture. After that I lost my trust in him and he didn’t do anything to regain my trust. As a result of that I started breaking up with him every time he did something which was almost every week and he would come back apologising so I kept getting back to him so at the end he said he couldn’t take it anymore and he could no longer see a future for us. I was devastated as I loved him and he is the only person that I can call family that lives in the country with me, he said we can be friends but I want more than that. I been imagining my life with Him since I Was 16 and I don’t know how to carry on living life without him.Please help me!

admin

February 1, 2014 at 6:33 pm

Well, are you going to do NC?
hheartbrokengirl

February 1, 2014 at 9:13 pm

Yeah that’s the plan and im gonna stick to it this time. Wish me luck!And thanks
hheartbrokengirl

February 1, 2014 at 12:08 am

Basically I tried to change my ways but he kept on punishing me for what I did to him, but I couldn’t really take it. I been having hard time with my personal life and kept on complaining to him about life and other stuff. Now that I want him back,I don’t know where to start from, I would do anything to have the the relationship we once had back. His dad also told him he will disown him if he gets back with and his mum may too. PPlease advise me about what I should do. I would really appreciate thank you

Marie

January 31, 2014 at 3:13 pm

I started dating a man Nov 2012 we hit it off immediately and soon after he was living at my place. At the one mark Nov 2013 we decided to get a home to rent together. He is a quiet man, little communication and I had noticed here and there he last couple months him getting distant so I of course pushed myself harder on him.. I kept asking him what was wrong, was he happy etc. I was at that point of not feeling wanted and I was the one always have to approach him for intimacy. I didn’t want the relationship to end, but I didn’t want it to continue the way it was. I kept having the feeling he wanted to bail before he actually did. Now it has been two weeks today that he broke up with me and we are still living together. (for the last three months he had been laid off, just started new job, so during this time I was keeping his moral up and letting him know we would get through this) My question is… he told me when he got his school money (he is in school he is 47 yrs old today) he was out of here, then is was I waiting on the job then I’m out of here and now b/c I am doing the first N/C next week (because quite frankly I can’t do another week of head games)so he would say if I needed him to stay to watch the dog we would do it.. anything I need from him he will do.. Does he really plan on moving? Just last night I was talking about a bill and he said well we will have to wait and see what the bill is next month. I went to him last weekend and asked him if he would be willing to give us another chance and he said “once I make up my mind I don’t change it, but I will think about it” well I tried to have “fun” with him and he said “I don’t want to feel more about myself then I already do” My male friends told me that he said this because there is someone else and he doesn’t want to cheat on her … I am not sure what to make of this.. and if he has moved on then why isn’t he moving out. We had an agreement if one shall break up that person moves…. Thanks for any insight you can give me.. (btw, in the meantime (I think)he keeps playing these head games when he is home were like a couple without sex!!! we do not communicate on phone or via text…… so the only communication we have is when were are home together… He told me he misses me and what we had, but he has had his full of the relationship. (He is very insecure and runs when the commitment gets to strong for him.. divorced 14 years, old girlfriend cheated on him, according to him)…. On one side I want him to miss the heck out of me next week and realize he still wants to be with me, and on the other I want him to move out so I don’t have to come back to this way of living.. I am leaving to do the break-up thing as it is hard to do when I have to see him everyday.. my brain needs a break!

admin

January 31, 2014 at 6:52 pm

Good for you. Take a break especially if its best for you in the long run.

Em

January 23, 2014 at 7:20 am

Hi Chris!!! LOVE your site!! Can’t tell you how helpful I’ve found it 🙂

Just wondering what you think my chances are of getting my ex back…

We were living together when we broke up. He said he wasn’t sure about the whole commitment thing, felt trapped etc. He said he thought he could be making a terrible mistake but just couldn’t get rid of his doubts about settling down. I’ve spoken to him twice since it happened (am now in NC) and he sounded terribly messed up and upset (and wasn’t keen to talk again for awhile). He says he still loves me but isn’t sure what’s going to happen in the future. He’s now going to therapy to sort out his issues.

admin

January 24, 2014 at 4:58 am

Are the two of you still living together?

Alicias

January 21, 2014 at 8:02 am

I just broke up with my boyfriend, however we met 2 weeks after the break up cause he needed his stuff back, we proceeded to have dinner and it was fun and interesting. However along the way while we were walking and talking, he pulled out and old photo of us and said it was still in his wallet.It made me curious , is it a sign he wants me back or was h e just testing to see my reaction if i have gotten over him?
When we broke up, he said he wasn’t happy anymore and i didn’t make him happy, he did not feel anything for me and wanted to leave, cause we are so different, he will never love me the way i want.

Please advise
Elisa

January 19, 2014 at 7:33 pm

Oh I forgot to add. We’ve been together for 4 good years. Thanks so much!
Elisa

January 19, 2014 at 7:28 pm

Hi Chris,

I feel a little embarrassed writing to you.. But anyways. My ex and I broke up a week ago(we’re both 22). He’s still in a party phase so he living in the moment and choosing his friends a lot(or partying). We don’t see each other A lot. Maybe twice a week(one night) in the weekends because we do our own things. I am starting my career doing post-production tomorrow actually. I could tell he loved me in our relationship.. We would say it to each other all the time.. And he made the effort for me to change and near the end of our relationship I was truly happy and would fall in love with him even more every time I saw him. The night before we broke up, I bussed all the way to see him and spend the night with him(which I haven’t seen in maybe 1.5-2 weeks(or one weekend I don’t remember) and I expected to spend time with me. At 12:30 AM he said he was gonna go clubbing with his guy friends. I said I wouldn’t be happy if he went but he went anyways. He broke up with me cause he couldn’t commit anymore than he did. Although all I was asking for was the ability to know when to say no partying and spend it with me. I wanted to know if we were at least heading the direction to one day get married(I don’t want to get married for at least a few years) . He dropped off my stuff few days ago and we talked. He said he still loves me and sorry for everything. He just wants alone time Cuz he is unsure of his future. He still wants to be friends. I thanked him for being so good to me and said if we’re meant to be together then we’ll meet again but if not then I hoped someone else could fill his life with love and happiness. I agreed to break up with him because I was going to be busy with my career anyways and I understood that he’s in that age where he doesn’t know how to prioritize and still needs to grow. I feel that he loves me but 2 days ago was my graduation ceremony and he didn’t text me to congratulate me or anything even though he’s the one who wanted to keep contact. I miss him dearly.. He is also my first love/boyfriend. I wanted to ask you if there would still a chance for us in the future and that if he didn’t text me to congratulate me does that mean he doesn’t care about me as I thought he did? I’ve been on NC since he dropped off my stuff. Although I feel that he does. Sorry it’s a super long. Lol.

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154 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Understanding Your Boyfriend”