Here's How You Can Understand Your Boyfriend- Manspeak 101

154 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Understanding Your Boyfriend”

Kristen

January 11, 2014 at 4:53 am

Hi Chris,

So, obviously, I recently broke up with my ex-boyfriend of 1.5 years and want him back. I thought about breaking up with him before, but he was the one who ultimately ended things in the long-run (it was a friendly break-up as far as they go). My ex-boyfriend and I were in a distance relationship (only about 5 hours) but we’re both in school so we couldn’t travel to see each other much, about once a semester.
So here’s my question for you. I just finished the first week of the NC period and realized my NC time ends on February 6th, the same day I go back to my hometown (where my ex-boyfriend lives) to be a bridesmaid in a wedding. Do you think it would be a good idea to contact him that weekend or should I wait? Weddings can be emotional and I don’t want him to think the only reason I’m contacting him is because I feel lonely. If I wait any longer though then Valentine’s day is just around the corner. PLEASE give me advise on a good day to end NC in this situation. I would appreciate it very much.

Thank you Chris,

Kristen G

admin

January 12, 2014 at 4:45 am

I think it would be a good idea to contact him yea!
Kristen

January 12, 2014 at 6:24 am

Thank you Chris!!

jessica

December 18, 2013 at 6:00 pm

Hey Chris,

My ex broke up with me a month ago after an 8 year relationship. He used to be really shy and insecure, to the point where he didn’t even think he deserved to walk next to me because he thought I was very pretty and guys would constantly be looking at me. He started working out about 2 years ago, and since then, he’s been attracting people and I think he got an ego boost. We were in a LDR (due to school) these past 3 years, and he started to become more and more emotionally distant. I went through a really rough time this year, so I really needed his support. I probably came off as needy & desperate complaining about my family & life problems. He broke up with me, saying that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore, I’m too sensitive, and that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. I have done NC for a month. When I text him, he responds nicely, but he only texts me back (he never initiates a conversation and doesn’t try to carry on a conversation). I’m confused about his behavior, so I was wondering if you could provide a little insight? Thank you!
Amy

December 12, 2013 at 7:55 pm

Your picture made me laugh… The one of the woman leaping for joy after a month….

I’ve got a question my ex is military so its a double edge sword when it comes to emotions… He is a pretty sensitive guy, but at the same time keeps his card quite close to his heart. He is pretty centred etc…. And it seriously takes a lot to get him angry.. He is very “emotionally” in control..

They way we broke up was rubbish on fb through private messages etc… We nev really spoke face to face….

He did message me via txt for a couple of days after I had poured my heart out openly and objectively in a letter…. He said that it was a lovely letter… But then kinda dumped me by txt again….

Anyway rambling lol 🙂 he h done the classic thing of drinking with his buddies, has booked a weekend away with one of his male buddies and basically has kept busy…. I have entered the NC we are on day 4, I’ve totally shut down all forms of communication with taking myself off fb, I did tell him that I hadn’t deleted him.

Anyway what do u recon is going on his head… Is he really like the average joe emotionally or is this one going to be a bit tougher to crack… I was with him for 3.5 years.

admin

December 13, 2013 at 7:06 pm

I think he will be a bit tougher to crack. He strikes me as a bit stubborn….

Jenn

November 30, 2013 at 2:42 am

Chris,

I can’t tell u how much of what u said about “The Male Mindset After A Breakup” holds true. My ex continues to email/text me saying it was “the best decision ever”, and how he “has never been more happier”. His comments hurt but after reading this section, I’m realizing that he’s probably just trying to convince himself that he’s happy. As someone told me, “the guilty dog barks the loudest”. I will be patient and calm when he comes crawling back in 6 months ;).

admin

November 30, 2013 at 5:00 am

Want to know a secret…

I have done this before so that is why I know it. hahaha.

Jenn

November 21, 2013 at 5:10 am

Chris,

After the break up, the next day he posted on FB he’s in a new relationship. He told me he felt “releaved”, “like getting released from jail”. We’ve been together for 4 years and lived together and I thought we were getting closer I feel like this new fling is a rebound but he has to try t make it work to save face for breaking up with me (if that makes sense). So when 6 months roll around and his true feelings for me finally hit, will he reach out and contact me or are guys to strong to show weakness?

admin

November 21, 2013 at 7:24 pm

He may.. its a hard thing to say b/c only he knows the real answer. All you can do is try to do things that improve your chances.

Nivi

November 1, 2013 at 8:48 am

Hi Chris,
If men do miss their ex after a break up (he broke up with me) why is it that they take no measures to act on it?
I know a month might be too little a time for my ex to realise that he misses me, but it makes me wonder if he ever will 🙁
I miss him terribly as of now, with time Iknow it will get better, but I want a fighting chance to be with him. How is that going to be possible if he doesn’t feel that way at all? 🙁
It upsets me to no end, a lil effort from his side would have gone a long way.

admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:49 pm

I have a post coming up that will talk about this more so I am just going to let that “guide” answer it.

abby

October 28, 2013 at 12:43 pm

Hi, Chris..
Sorry to bother you.
I want to ask something that is deep.
It’s about your ex.
I’m sorry if this question makes you feel uncomfortable.
Here it is…
You mentioned on the article about your ex. That you missed her. Did you try to contact her? Or did you ever try to know how she’s been doing? How long it takes for you to miss her?
And.. i know that you have to read and answer a lot of comments and e-mails, but i hope my comments would makes you a bit relief(i guess) by telling me your story about your latest ex. About how long have you been not contacting her? How long have you been with her (when you guys still together)? Do you want to get back to her? If you don’t mind. If it’s bother you, its okay. Just say it. 🙂 I’m just curious. 🙂 And thank you for reading this comment. 🙂
and as always, love the article.. 🙂

admin

October 29, 2013 at 3:19 am

I am not uncomfortable at all!

Of course I will tell you.

I tried contacting her multiple times after the breakup but not recently b/c I have moved on from her completely and don’t want her back. I missed her about a month after the initial breakup. I haven’t talked to her in a year (I think.) I remember her and I did the friend/unfriend thing for a while. She initially unfriended me, a few weeks later I sent a friend request/she accepted and later unfriended me then I friended her again and then recently about 7-9 months ago I ended up deciding that I didn’t want to do this anymore and I unfriended her and haven’t friended her since but every once and a while I get curious and look on her profile (from what I can see that she makes public.)

I was with her a total of 9 months but only months 1-3 were good the rest was filled with fights and I can honestly say I was not a good person when I was with her. I just don’t think I was ready for the relationship that was expected of me. I am happier now that I am away but at the time I didn’t think I would be.

So, no I don’t want to get back with her. I am just excited to meet the next girl I choose to date… or who chooses to date me hahaha.
abby

October 29, 2013 at 6:34 am

why u don’t want to get back to her?
admin

October 30, 2013 at 3:42 am

Because her and I were just not a good match and I am personally happier now that I am out of that relationship.

Stuck in a cycle

October 24, 2013 at 3:45 pm

Hey Chris,

I also posted on your No Contact web page. I’m not sure where my ex’s head is at. If you recall, it has been 7.5 months (about) since we broke up and we kept going through phases where we would be talking, I would bring up being back together, and then he would get upset.

Recently, we had been talking but I have started to not initiate conversations as much and now am in NC. Just two weeks ago, he got upset at me for deleting him off facebook and still called me by my affectionate name. The last time we talked, he lied to me about staying in one night when in reality he was out with some girl he met and was dancing with her at a club (I heard from his friend, and according to him, she was not of stellar quality). I don’t understand why he is acting this way although I know he has the tendency to think with his male organs a little too much. Then why not just find me? I don’t understand.

What does this all mean? Do you think it’s likely he’ll come around once NC is over? Do you think he’ll miss me during NC? I really want a second shot with him but I’m also feeling a little betrayed. Can you please tell me if it’s likely or that there’s a good chance? I’m really losing hope.

admin

October 24, 2013 at 8:18 pm

I wish I knew if he would come around but all I can say is tha tyour chances will be raised.

I am sure he misses you though.
Stuck in a cycle

October 28, 2013 at 7:54 pm

Hey Chris,

I am Day 6 into NC and about two days after I restarted NC he messaged me asking how I was doing and I didn’t message him back.

I kind of still can’t get over the fact that he lied to me about staying in and was actually out with some girl when I asked him if he wanted to hang out. He even asked where I was and I feel like it was to just make sure that we wouldn’t accidentally bump into each other. Why wouldn’t he want to hang out with me?

What does that even mean for me and him? Does it mean that he really doesn’t care about me or I don’t deserve his respect for him to tell me the truth? Has he lost all feeling for me?

To give you a bit of a background (I don’t know if it’s helpful) he’s been hurt by other girls before (his two previous girlfriends cheated on him) and I think that he’s acting how he did before I met him. After he ended things with his rebound, he told me that he learned to be ruthless and I replied to him saying that I didn’t understand why he would feel the need to be ruthless towards me when he knows I genuinely care about him. I truly believe that I’m one of the few girls that had cared about him in a while. He tried really hard in our relationship and we fought but there were different factors that contributed to it that are different now. I truly believe that we could be happy together and when we have spent time together in person after the break up, it’s felt great and he has said that he had fun.

Do you have any input in all of this? I really don’t understand what is going on. Am I just nothing to him? Do I stand a good chance of getting him back when we’ve been up and down the past 7 months?
admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:51 am

I don’t think you are nothing to him but I don’t like how he is treating you one bit…

Keera

October 22, 2013 at 2:49 am

I wish I would have found your site sooner.

So my ex and I had been in a long distance relationship for a year and broke up 2 months ago. He had been acting cold and then said that it didn’t feel like we were in a relationship anymore.
I reacted gracefully to the situation and remained calm. He called the next week to see how I was doing but I could not speak at the moment so I sent him a text saying I would talk to him later. Two days later I sent him a text saying I was free to talk but he was out and said he would call the next day but never did.
After two weeks I got upset and called him basically telling him that I felt like he was just messing with me at this point. He said he was busy and thought he should give me space. His reasoning and too cool for emotions attitude upset me so I lost it and basically told him to give me space and that it would take time but that I will get over him.
I felt bad about the things I said and how I said them so I tried to see how he was through text. He did not respond.
The end was pretty messy and it has been about 3 weeks since we have spoke.
After that horrible last conversation I’m not sure if a casual “hey guess what” text will work.

Any advice will be greatly appreciated. 🙂

admin

October 23, 2013 at 6:47 pm

Thanks for the kind words about the site.

I would say that you should wait another week before you text him. Make it an even month.

Your text might need some work also.

admin

October 4, 2013 at 8:39 pm

testing this is a real test
Jennifer

October 1, 2013 at 2:49 pm

Hi Chris,

First, I would like to say that I have read just about every article you have, and I think that you are doing a wonderful thing. You have been extremely helpful in calming my anxiety.
On another note, I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 days ago. We have been friends for about 15 years, and had hooked up in our 20’s and that didn’t work out. In January, he began pursuing me, and I really wasn’t that interested, so I told him we should just be friends, but he persisted, and I gave in. At first, he was very attentive, slept over almost every day, etc etc, but as time went on, he started becoming very selfish. Don’t get me wrong, when we were together, he was always affectionate, had no problem giving me compliments, talking to me, etc., but I would text him and not get responses for hours….I guess he just lacks in the communication department, which would annoy me and make me feel insecure, and I’m sure you know how the rest goes (a million and one texts from me, with no response, and then a fight). He claims that he’s not like me and isn’t glued to his phone, which is fine, but frustrating. He is also one of those people that shuts the world out, when he is feeling overwhelmed or something is bothering him. So, for the past couple of months, we’re fighting and breaking up every week (usually me breaking up with him), then he calls, we get back together, and the cycle continues. So I finally decided to break up with him, because I am not going to be anyone’s doormat, booty call, or girlfriend when it’s convenient, but I do miss him a lot. I have blocked his number and blocked him from FB, because aside from knowing that I need to follow the NC rule, I just don’t want to talk to him right now, but I would eventually like to make it work with him. What’s your take on this?

admin

October 2, 2013 at 12:39 am

I agree with that. I hate seeing women reduced to f*ck buddies so I am glad you had the guts to do something about it before it got to that point.

You will miss him that is undeniable but as long as you follow the stuff on this site or in the E-Book your chances will be raised substantially.
Jennifer

October 2, 2013 at 1:03 am

Thank you. I will keep you posted in another 28 days or more.
admin

October 3, 2013 at 12:11 am

Defintely do!

Melissa

September 16, 2013 at 5:22 pm

I was in a short relationship with a wonderful man. It lasted 5 months. In that 5 months a lot of stress factors happened all at once and he and I lost sight of each other. In the first month we were so in love and so into each other. We have everything in common. As we were starting to grow as a couple and we wanted to be together all the time. He stayed with me every night for the first month, so we decided he should move in with me. I loved having him around and being able to snuggle with him at night and wake up to him every morning. We made plans for the future. He said I was “THE ONE”. We lived together for two months (our third month together) things got so stressful that he moved out. We were having communication problems. I was getting depressed and shut down on him as he poured his heart out to me every night. He has past relationship issues as do I, which were added factors. Other stress factors came into play at the same time. When he moved out I was saddened but a little relieved that we could both breathe again. He stayed away for a day or two but we still saw each other and were still in love. He started staying with me every night again. By the time the stress factors had all been resolved I was back to my old self again but by then he had shut down on me. The fun wasn’t there anymore, he stopped holding my hand, it came to a stand still. We lost each other somewhere along the way. I finally broke it off with him after five months and told him we needed to step back and give us both time to heal before starting over again (with each other). It has been a week exactly since the breakup and in that week he and I have had contact. We are on speaking terms. I haven’t begged or pleaded for him to take me back. I just told him how much I still love him and that I am giving him time to heal. I let him know that I did not throw him away. I am just giving us time to mend. He is clearly hurting and not very talkative, which is understandable. I came across your article about the 30 day no contact rule and I have decided to put that into motion as of yesterday. I have been keeping myself busy and making myself get out there and have some fun. I know he still loves me and is scared to get hurt again. It will be hard to ignore him for a month but he is worth giving it another chance. I have never been more loved by any man than I was by him.

admin

September 17, 2013 at 1:37 am

You can do it though Melissa!

30 day NC rule! YOU GOT THIS 🙂

Jane

September 16, 2013 at 5:08 am

This one is a really good article. Thank you so much Chris! Now I get almost the whole thing about my boyfriend. And the post relationship part just got me excited. I don’t know why. Hahaha Kudos! And keep it up. You’re doing really well. You make things less difficult for women. 🙂

admin

September 17, 2013 at 12:53 am

Thanks Jane!

I remember writing this one. I planned it out and paid for some research materials haha.

Rhonda

August 28, 2013 at 12:56 pm

I’ve read your entire website…so let me ask. When they dump you but give you 17 different reasons and finally say “I just don’t know why”, is that really just code that they found someone else but don’t have the courage to say so?

He became upset when I said we couldn’t stay friends and chit chat every day. He said he was afraid if we didn’t stay in contact, he’d lose me forever. What does this mean? I feel like he doesn’t want me but he doesn’t want anyone else to have me either.

admin

August 29, 2013 at 3:45 am

Has he given any indication that another woman is involved?
Rhonda

August 30, 2013 at 2:56 am

No. When I straight up asked him, he said no. He even said he still loved me and was depressed at the thought that he’d never find someone as compatible as me. His exact quote was, “I love you and if I can’t make it work with you, then what hope do I have?”. That makes no sense to me. If you love me and know I’m it, then why break up? I dunno…Tonight marks exactly one week of NC. It’s killing me.
admin

August 31, 2013 at 2:05 am

You are on the right track! Keep doing NC and keep improving during that time.

psychoexgirlfriend

August 22, 2013 at 1:00 am

Oh hey, it’s me again. I thought I would add something as it may be beneficial for not only myself, but for other ladies to hear your advice on this topic. I was in a long distance relationship & broke up. He says he doesn’t deserve me anymore & we are still far apart so it is not a good idea. Great..but then I found out that he is actually just in a different long distance with another girl. Hm. That one kinda tore me apart, just a little. I moved away from our hometown (in New York) to explore another state a little bit. He will still be away for another year or so. He doesn’t know that I am planning on moving back home in 1-2 years (not loving it here, but of course couldn’t tell him that because I want him to think I am so happy without him…*sigh*). Chris, fix me… PLEASE.

XoXo
Crazy & Pathetic (but in denial to the rest of the world)

admin

August 22, 2013 at 3:59 am

I don’t need to fix you. You are awesome just the way you are.

Hope

August 20, 2013 at 10:14 am

Dear Admin, i hope u can answer my question.
My ex is a chef, he work very hard in hid work, but for his relationship, it was like a mess.I can call him a jerk. He slept with lots of girls and he have also been hurt by girls.He likes to be alone .
My ex and i just break up today.In real life, We are far aways from others in difference places.He is working and i am a college student.Me and him break many times cause he just want to play with love(sex).But, i still accept him when he come back to me and forgiving him for hurting me… Today we break because he say that he want to focus in his job, and get what he really want then only he want to think the relationship. He is asking me to study hard, think my future, and say that he is poor.I stay with him in his house last night. Today morning when i leave his house , his eyes wet like want to cry. what does it means…what should i do, i love him

admin

August 21, 2013 at 4:20 am

Well, take a deep breath and try not to flip out. Realize that it is possible to get him back but you are going to have to put some effort into it. I say your best bet is to start your NC rule up.
Hope

August 21, 2013 at 10:11 am

In the past, he is a jerk who have slept with many girls.What is the his meaning that when i stay with him, he is saying that he want to stop sex and don want sex to have with me and asking me to give to my first to my husband when i have married? He is asking me to think for my future. On the other hand, he was saying that he wanted to get want he wanted first ( house, money and so on ) before getting a new serius relationship.
admin

August 22, 2013 at 2:40 am

I am kind of confused by your question. I guess I don’t get what you mean. Could you rephrase it for me?
Hope

August 22, 2013 at 2:59 am

i also dont know what and why he is saying…he had block me from,fb. i don think we can contact if i really change number. But,before he let go of me, he asked me to think my future and study hard. he said he has nothing in his life.So, i dont know what is the meaning.
Hope

August 21, 2013 at 5:40 am

but i said to him i will change my number and no need to contact anymore. how he can contact me?
admin

August 22, 2013 at 1:43 am

Do you have him on Facebook? Or any other social media platforms? Email?

Iva K

August 18, 2013 at 10:05 pm

Hello Chris Seiter!
I came across your website and I truly LOVE it!
It’s amazing!

I read almost all of your advice and I even implement some of them.
I hope it will work soon…
What I’m talking about…

I’ve met a guy on Facebook, we started talking very often, we have mutual interests,
we both like tattoos, graffiti, being myself an artist I can say that I truly liked
the guy at first place. He was soooo talkative, friendly and he wasn’t vulgar at all
or anything bully while our online chats. Again, I truly felt some connection.
After a while we went out, he introduced me with his friends, the night was a
friendly hang out, I wasn’t pushing anything at all. Btw. It was my idea for the
meet up. After a few months ago – while we were still in contact (means no sex or anything “too much”, instead
of flirt, we even found a mutual friends (in real life), actually a friend of mine,
is a very good friend with him, I still didn’t know how he end up being a good friend with him – lucky me, I said. lol

Then, we were seeing each other even more often, we were going out with friends, laughing, chating, I was so lucky
that he will have a chance to get know me for real- as a real person.

I said to my friend that I like him, he was surprised (in a good way), and he suggested me to be more direct with him and to
NOT wait for any longer. It was like 3-4 months since we were going out together as friends. But we never went on a “regular”date,
in other words – me and him alone… I was so into the thing “Get know me” I tried to show myself as a good friend, a good
person because I really like the guy and I wasn’t in the game of “one night stand” with him, I actually wanted something more, BUT
THERE WAS STILL SOMETHING OF OUR FLIRTING FAZE – THEY ALL NOTICED THAT FROM HIM AND FROM ME.

Finally, I got the courage and one night we were all out, and I tried to get him out of the party and express my thoughts/feelings
for him, I did! (I wasn’t drunk or anything like that.)

But… surprisingl, he got angry… :/ the reason was… He was standing out with his close friends and I started to talk with
him, saying the things, he got mad because I removed him from the party bla bla bla… btw – no one heard our conversation.

I left with the thought, ok, I was wrong, maybe a wrong moment, I will wait for a better one, when he will be all alone.

A few hours latter, we have discuses… He was all lost, saying things like he got mad, he has a girlfriend from other
country that he is ok to see her twice A YEAR, YES ONLY TWICE A YEAR… I was almost dead, listening to that, quite offended
because he got mad and being so disrespectful to my HONESTY :S I was like… can we see each other once again tomorrow in a
quiet place? Can we talk again, I really like you… and I even said “you should have said somewhere in our chats that
your (somehow)busy with another girl. BTW Guys, IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO BE “IN A RELATIONSHIP” WITH SOMEONE, WHO
IS NOT EVEN FROM UR COUNTRY AND SEE EACH OTHER ONCE OR TWICE A YEAR?? COME ON???!

Then, he got delusional AGAIN and saying thing like, ok we will discuss this latter, tomorrow (which he didn’t call)
he also said, we will be still friends and hang out with all of our mutual friends, just like before, which was almost perfect
to the moment I actually said the things ” I like you mate :D. I wanna try to be with ya.. so friendly, so openly, so honestly.,
I even said to him… “Those things are not for everyone to reveal, I’m being honest, firstly as friend and then…
WOW – He even said, yea I know… Thank you – He smiled, veeeery pleasant. Damn it! 😀

I didn’t look desperate – I swear! Right after this last few honest words from me and him that night, I walked home.

I did the NO CONTACT RULE – I STILL RULE LOL It’s been like 40 days now. 😀
I don’t know, SHOULD I TRY TO ASK MY GOOD OLD FRIEND TO TALK WITH HIM ABOUT ME?? You know, male talk?

To be honest, in the NO CONTACT RULE, I got myself together, I did few things to improve myself, I did a bunch of graffiti arts lol,
I had fun my own way – I don’t look desperate. But I still want to, at least just once, to try out.

Oh, I’ve been asking for an advice from people who knows him (from the past) – people that are GOOD friends of mine too…
They said:

HE’S SHY
TALK WITH HIM BUT IF HE IS DRUNK/THEN HE WILL BE MORE OPEN
HE HAS A GOOD HEART AND HE IS AN EXCELLENT FRIEND
HE DOESN’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND,
HE WAS NEVER INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP -btw He’s now 27, I’m 25
WE NEVER SAW THAT MYSTERIOUS GIRL FORM THE OTHER COUNTRY.
IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE COMMITTED TO A PERSON YOU SEE ONLY TWICE A YEAR,
WE NEVER SAW HIM WITH A GIRL :/?????
SOME WERE EVEN JOKING, HEY, MAYBE HE IS GAY LOL
IF HE DOESN’T LIKED YOU AT ALL HE WOULDN’T BE WASTING TIME ON GETTING TO KNOW YOU, OR EVEN FLIRTING – THEY WERE ALL WITNESSES
OF SOME OF HIS REACTION, CONSIDERED AS FLIRT… LOL
HE COULDN’T LOOKED YOU IN THE EYES, HE WAS SO SHY, AND INSECURE, HE LIKES YOU
He hate the fact that his friends likes you and you have 10.000 followers on facebook,

*I got the followers because I onw an art magazine, so i’m not a model or hah who*e.))

I haven’t heart anything from him yet, I don’t know what to do.
Should I try again? If so, HOW?
Is it a good way to ask my friend to talk with him?

Could you PLEASE give me some advice?
I hope I made you laugh a bit with my story lol, you can contact me at i**-*******@hotmail.com

THANKS SO MUCH!

admin

August 19, 2013 at 4:20 am

Wow, 10,000 followers on Facebook? You are a pretty popular lady. Who are you I want to follow you.

Well, I think you can try texting him again the only probelm is that I don’t think you straight up dated him. Did you two have any “intimate moments” or relationship moments?
Iva K

August 19, 2013 at 2:31 pm

Hello again!
I’m really glad you read my crazy story about “love”? haha!
Who Am I?

Probably an ordinary girl from Russia, I do art interviews, I’m an artists,party animal, good listener, an art freak 😀

I own http://www.skin-artists.com
Now I don’t wanna sound I flatter myself, gosh I’m not that way!lol!!

As I said I got the followers and fan pages, because of my website and my 8 years in the art-show business, not because of my photos or blah bla bla…

But, you asked, well here is a second link you may find interesting,
https://www.facebook.com/IvaTattoo

https://www.facebook.com/pages/wwwskin-artistscom/50728929244

To everyone, especially artists on this website, feel free to contact me – maybe we can share some thoughts, and smile at the
end of the day 😉

About the guy lol

I don’t know, he is not checking out his mobile phone so much,facebook as well, my idea was to set up a friendly meeting with all of our mutual friends (very lovely – easy going people)
and somehow my friend to talk with him. To explain my “bad” behavior? guy code – talk! lol

They said, he hasn’t so much experience with girls, that’s the reason of his behavior that night… He wanted to escape the “frozen male” attitude – this is from your column I’ve read, lol

He’s shy, bla bla…

AND… they even said, maybe he is testing you, to see a reaction if he’s away… like, would you be a drag… and even domination… ahw I don’t understand.

I was friendly ALL THE TIME, make him laugh, be normal, I was everything, someone can say a good friend, but we’re all the time
flirting as well.

Some of his mates said, he didn’t know what he wanted at that time, maybe now he realized that he lost you.
(Since I’m in the NC period) BUT they also said like… He is shy and he won’t be the FIRST one that will eventually make a contact, he would be “I screwed this, so I will be away”

The reason WHY we weren’t on a regular date, was… I WASN’T quite sure that he’s into me… He was flirting, but there was no a strait – pointed sign that he’s into me :S So in that time when we were just going out with all of our friends… I was trying to figure out that something is happening in his head and that actually he likes me-damn it! 😀 Finally I GOT the courage and unfortunately I’ve made the first step by telling him those things I wrote in the previous post.

I’ll never be into a shy guy – again! Man, I think now I prefer the jerks :S lol

Any advice Chris?
Have a great day and thanks so much for your response.
admin

August 20, 2013 at 4:09 am

I followed your page. Hahaha so now I am a member of your Facebook page WOOT WOOT!

Going in a group is a really good idea. I think you should just be friendly with him and non threatening. Try your best not to make him feel pressured or on the spot.
Iva K

August 20, 2013 at 2:26 pm

Thanks so much for following!
I tried to do all this things, that’s the reason I didn’t make out with the guy lol.
Should I told my close friend to talk with him about me?

I think this would be the last of my questions to you lol

However, thanks again for being so cool and friendly and answering my questions. You website is great and really helpful. Thanks, keep up! My best wishes, Iva
admin

August 21, 2013 at 4:35 am

Hahaha no problem. I love helping people out!

I don’t think you should tell your friend to do that. Guys are pretty good about sniffing that stuff out.

Babs

August 18, 2013 at 12:14 pm

Your articles are extremely valuable to those of us in distress immediately following a break up. The NC was absolutely the most beneficial advice in that it gave me time to reflect on myself. On the 30th day, he called, apologized, and said he couldn’t live without me. Your words about how men feel the same loss as women are so true. The NC gives us time to look, imagine, and believe.

I was so miserable at the beginning of the break up that without your articles and postings, I could have become a recluse. I couldn’t sleep or eat. But your insight and the comments of others gave me strength.

Thanks, Chris. I feel as though I know you through your words. You have a wonderful connection with your readers as well as with the world around you.

admin

August 19, 2013 at 3:27 am

Thanks Babs!

I am going to put your comment in the success section so others can get inspired by how the NC process worked for you.

Abby

August 17, 2013 at 5:46 pm

Hi Chris

Your postings is very helpful and I calm down quickly after reading your site.
You heard a lot of break up stories and here comes mine. I only tell this because i am still confused about his behavior and thoughts after going through your insights.
We were together for 7 months, broke up last Sunday and it is a sudden break up came after a huge fight. We were happy spending time with his friends and on the way back we fought in the car. We were mad at each other and no one is doing anything to stop the fight but pushing the fight harder and harder. So I said break up. He said ok. I calmed down about 1 hour later and started to regret the break up but he is still mad and insisted the break up. Wen he sent me home and we hugged, he even cried a little and I said we don’t have to do this but he said ” today we have to, we can talk later”.
After 2 days I tried to talk to him, he ignored my 2 calls but texted me he needs more time. But we still talked on the phone for 30 min. I apologized for bring up the break up. He said he needs time before talking to me again.
I am going to follow the NC, but really confused about his behavior. If he still likes me why he is cutting me off now. Or he doesn’t want me back at all.

Thanks!

admin

August 18, 2013 at 4:22 am

He is probably just upset about the breakup which is why he ignored your calls. I have a post on ignoring boyfriends here.

Try out NC I think it is a good idea.
Abby

August 22, 2013 at 2:53 am

Thanks Chris, I started NC last week, it has been 8 days. I know it is difficult, and I tried and did focus on myself. But it is very difficult in terms of cutting him off from my mind. And I started to feel upset about the fact that he hasn’t contacted me for 8 days….that’s a not good sign for me, and could indicate he doesn’t want me back. From a guy’s mind, is it true that he is not missing me that much if he hasn’t contacted me yet. And I really don’t know if I should stick to the plan to get him back or give up sooner…. I guess I need some encouragement.
thanks Chris. I am seriously thinking get your complete guide after NC, the content of the website is already extremely useful, the ebook will be awesome.
admin

August 23, 2013 at 5:55 pm

I can’t recommend the E-Book enough ;).

Tell you what, if you email me (and are serious about purchasing) I can give you a discount (only because you said such nice things about it/me.)

As for a guys mind, I think it is normal for a guy to not want to contact his ex immediately. I mean, every guy is different of course but sometimes it just takes some time. Also, he may not miss you right away. It took me a few weeks before the pain/breakup started kicking in and I started missing my ex.

Beth

August 16, 2013 at 10:25 pm

Well, that was fast! My ex just asked me out! 16 days after NC!!

admin

August 17, 2013 at 3:43 am

EPIC! Can I use you on the success story section?

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