How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Fall In Love With You Again- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

746 thoughts on “The Definitive Guide To Making Your Ex Boyfriend Love You Again”

Rosa

March 26, 2014 at 3:14 pm

Hi Chris

My ex and I dated for 2 years before he broke up with me for another woman. During the aftermath of the break up we tried being friends but ultimately it fell apart. He and I got into a big fight and it’s been almost a month since he and I haven’t spoken to each other.

Now he’s currently dating/together with the other woman, and it’s been about 5 or 6 months since the actual break up. She is what the passages on here described as an UG, but she’s still sleeping around with other men while with him.

My question is, would it still be worth a shot to try your advice to get him back? Is it worth it to compete with a possible UG he’s already pursuing?
Brandie

March 23, 2014 at 1:24 am

Hi,
My boyfriend and I broke up a few days ago via text. We’ve been together since August of last year. I agreed with him that breaking up was the best thing, even though I don’t really think that way find he texted, “well, that was easy.” Then he told me he’d still fix my car if it broke down and I politely declined his offer and he turned mean. Then he texted a lot of mean things the next day too. And I haven’t heard from him in since (4days) I am sticking to no contact for 30 days. I really love him and want him back. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in the relationship and drove him away. Do you have any additional advice?

scor

April 3, 2014 at 7:02 am

hi sis nd chris 🙂 im exactly in the same situatn like Brandie…..v also startd our reltn since last augst, also break in smwot same time as Brandie…. o dear chrisssss pls help usssss

Samantha Dunn

March 13, 2014 at 8:49 am

Hi Chris, I love your guide thank you! Ive been with my guy for 3 years, its not been the best he was besotted with me to start with but I would let him in for a long time because I had trust issues. Long story short our relathas become ‘a chore’ for him. He got fed up of doing all the chasing and after a lot of fallouts and ‘one more chances’ of me promising to change and show more love and just be a girlfriend, he has decided to give up on me. I should at this point mention we do have a 6 month old baby boy! Anyway I begged and begged him not to leave but he said its just not working, its gone too far we cant go back. To many chances and not one ounce of effort from me. This happened 4 weeks ago. After the first week of me holding it together for my little boy and breaking down as soon as he sleeps, I eventually started to realise where things went wrong. I dont know the reason but I have not been myself since I met him, for whatever reason im still holding back on him. But now my true feelings are even stronger for him and I want to have another chance to put it right. But he keeps saying its too late there us no point we wont ever work. But 4 weeks of being apart has made me reaise do not want to be the person I was I want to be the person I should have been from day one and I want him to go back to how he was then too. Anyway he told me he started talking to tjis girl and has told her everything about our situation, and she has offered him a place to stay and is promising to be everything ive not been. A few days after I found this out he then told me he slept with her. He really likes her and is going to be with her. I was completely heartbroken. I told him our son will not be any part of her life and this has made him now choose to come back to me but he says he is only doing it for our son. He will never be able to love me again, he hates this situation and just wants me to resphis feelibgs, let him go be with her and have our little boy in ‘their’ life (not just his but her’s too) I told him im sorry but I cannot do that.
He is living with me at the moment. One min it seems like its going ok but he still talks to her and she keeps begging him back, so he goes back to being depressed and brings up the convo again of letting him go to be happy with her. I just cant do it! I should mention that when he first started aeeing this girl she knew he still wanted me and she told him she will understand if he wants to come back to sort things, but as soon as he did come back she changed her tune, crying for him back
And telling him she loves him. Just when we seem to have a good day she comes back to him and ruins it. He said he is scared to give us a go because he knows it wo t work and he will loose her and hate me. I know if he gices us a chance and sees that my whole perception of myself has changed we could be happy together as a family. Please help.

Samantha Dunn

March 14, 2014 at 7:56 am

After reading everyones comments ive decided to go ahead and try NC. Its different since we have a kid as there will be contact for him only. Its eating me up as I know he will go back to her but I have plenty to keep me occupyied until I return to work in three months time.

Im hoping time apart and me concentrating on my self and my little boy will make me see clearer and who knows once he sees im happy and dont need him, he might ask me back.

Thanks again for the help on this site.

Sharihan

March 12, 2014 at 2:20 pm

Hi Chris Im sharihan, my boyfriend and i have been together for 2 years and he broke up with me 1 week agp. he was the one in the relationship that cares more and loves me more than i do. than in the last 5 months i started loving him equally as much as he does. in the last couple of months in our relationship he started changing, he stayed nice and treated me well all the time but not like before, like i call him more than he calls me, i ask him out more than he does, untill out of the blue he told me he cant do it anymore and he prefers to end it immediately for boths sake. since he works abroad and he considers himself young. He said i deserve someone better and he loves me still but he hates our relationship. And he said that I was too good to him that he doesnt deserve this. he was really nice while breaking up, never disrepcted me, i was a text gnat for the first 1 week then i checked ur blog and I liked it, this is my 3d day in NC stage. Do u think he will talk to me ? knowing that this guy really loved me in the first year and a half of our relationship.he only changed recently for the reasons i mentionned above. Thank youuu chris for your help !! I LOOOOVEEE UR BLOGG !! KEEP IT UP
Joie

March 10, 2014 at 9:24 pm

Hi Chris, I am very glad to have found this site. thanks

admin

March 11, 2014 at 4:39 pm

I am glad you found it too!!!

sukhvir

March 10, 2014 at 2:20 am

Hello there,

i was in a relationship from auguest 2013. I had good time with my boy friend. and we got engaged in dec 2013. some times we had conflicts. One time his ex, she was texting him and i made this thing big issue and i told his parents about that. He got angry on me an then i felt sorry for everythng and then everythng was going well.Now 10 days ago he found somthing about my ex (i alreday told him in starting about my past but i never told him his name that relationship lasts for a month) and now he is about to do break engagement completely. Before me he dated lots of girls and i accepted all that about him. Even we use to live together on weekends. Now i asked him to give time to make things perfect. I don’t know how to get him back and how to get his love back as it was before. please advice me what i can do.please I can’t even imagine a sec of m life without him.
Nicole

March 10, 2014 at 12:54 am

Me and a guy broke up nearly a year ago. It was my decision. It was a long distance thing. There was a lot of control issues because we were 1500 miles apart, and we had gotten to the point that everyone was shouting, and no one was listening. So, I ended it. We were together for five years. We’ve both dated other people in the last year, and we’ve maintained close contact. We effectively friend zoned each other, calling each other constantly for advice on dating. Hanging out every time he came home. We even had a “no strings” weekend over thanksgiving last year. Thing is, after the fling, he tearfully told me something to the effect of “If you ever want me back, let me know.” I was, at first, a little shocked, as we discussed this whole no strings thing. But, after a few weeks, it became clear to me that I did, in fact, want him back. So, I did most of the tactics you described, without having ever read this before. And I was pretty confident that things were going in the direction I wanted them to. And then, something weird happened. A mutual friend of ours (who was his friend first) texted me out of the blue a few days ago. Asking if he and I were just friends or what the deal was. She and I got pretty close while me and this guy dated, so I told her at this point we were just friends, but that I was kind of thinking about the idea of trying again. Next time I talked to my ex (maybe ten minutes later he had called), I mentioned I had talked to her and that she asked about “us.” Didn’t mention my admission, just that she had asked. And he was concerned, immediately. Told me that he was fairly positive this girl was fishing for information because she had been trying to hook him up with a friend of hers that would be “perfect” for him. He said he really wasn’t feeling this girl, and that he thinks that’s why his friend contacted me out of the blue after months of no contact and immediately about him. Because he had been blowing off her friend. As he is telling me this story, he tells me to hold on. Because this mutual friend of ours in trying to call him. And I panicked. And I finally made a fatal mistake. I said the words. I ended his chase. I told him I wanted him back. I didn’t want that information to come from her. I wanted it to come from me. (And when she finally did get a hold of him, she did completely throw me under the bus, but it came from me before it did her.) I thought that since he already made an admission to me, even though it was a few months ago, that it would be okay. He didn’t really respond in a way that I expected. More or less told me he still thought of me a lot, and that I meant the world to him. But, he wasn’t wanting some serious relationship from 1500 miles apart. “I’m not ready to put your engagement ring back on or anything… But we can talk and see where it goes.” I was both disappointed, and relieved. He never said he wanted me back–hence the disappointment. But, he didn’t say that he was over me–hence the relief. But, now it’s different. He has made a total turn with me. Flirting has stopped. Answers are short. He is supposed to visit me sometime in the next couple of days and I don’t know how to act. Not sure how to do damage control. Any thoughts?

admin

March 10, 2014 at 5:50 pm

Hve you read my LDR guide yet?
Nicole

March 10, 2014 at 1:07 am

To clarify, it didn’t start as long distance. It went long distance about three years in. He moved for a job, and I stayed behind because of mine. He will, in the next year or so, be back in this area.

Jeanette

March 6, 2014 at 6:51 pm

hey there,
im just now reading this i wish i did sooner but its been 4 days since breakup. The problem is we live together. The reason he broke it off is cause he said im a angry rude person.. Ive been having problems with my jobs and family problems as well… like my mom being sick etc.. so yes ive been having a lot of issues. No contact is hard, esp. when he comes in the room (he sleeps dwn stairs, but needs to shower) and tells me he brought food help yourself, or asking me if i want anything from the grocery store, or if i need a ride home. He also told me i could have anything I want, take it all. I was upset at the momment.. and said i dont want anything and will b gone at the end of the week (i have no where to go) And he was saying i didnt expect you to leave. Take all the time you need…

Throughout the arguement i kept saying what now? what boundaries should we have.. and hes always replying i dont know, I didnt plan this. I was steering towards this but i didnt plan this.

Later that day i asked him is it truly over, your not giving me a chance? You dont want me in your future? and he said no, i dont. maybe as a friend, but he no longer wants this relationship.

Im really sick to my stomach, theres so much more i want to explain because theres more to it, but the fact of the matter is , is that I want him in my future. We made plans, we have goals we were striving for, but because how angry ive been inside, from all the troubles ive been dealt with, I looked to him for everything, and got angry with him about everything.
He’s a simple nice guy, and I took him for granted. thinking he would never leave me and treated him poorly. Im so ill about it.

What can i do for him to love me again.

admin

March 7, 2014 at 6:48 am

How bad did you treat him?

anthony

March 3, 2014 at 10:47 am

good afternoon

i dont want to make this long story too long , in a nut shell.

me and my boyfriend have been dating over a year , its been on and off mainly , he has left me countless times as he didnt want people knowing hes gay , i became highly insecure and fought with him day in and day out over the last 4 months we actually were together.

i told him maybe we shouldnt date as his life seems complicated with a new job and running his new business.

iv done alot to show him my love and appreciation for him.

he was slim when we met , but now chubby yet i have lost no attraction to him , id bath him after work , give him massages etc.

he left me a weeka ago and will not communicate at all with me.

i bought him teddies and a card to remind him of my love for him , i have been loyal and loving to him , he recently came out to his mom , shes stubborn but is okay.

the last time i saw him or spoke to him was on saturday 1 march 2014.

i have not texted him again as he said he will have to block me if he feels bombaarded with messages.

please help.
i love that man inside out

i have apologised for my flaws and faults , but it just doesnt seem good enough.

admin

March 3, 2014 at 6:53 pm

Its going ot take some time.

Sankie

February 27, 2014 at 9:00 pm

HI, thanks for sharing this without asking payment. this really makes sense. now I can reignite the emotional needs again to what it was in the beginning, as the physical needs are explosive.
Ali

February 26, 2014 at 1:45 pm

What if the relationship first was a purely dextral one, and after reconnecting we are really only getting to know each other now.Would the tactics remain the same? Or be considered a new one.
Libra

February 24, 2014 at 8:23 am

HI. I need your advice ..I had a no commitment relationship with someone that I met onli. he is good to me however he made it clear from the very frst day that he cannot commit because of his religion and family because he is muslim and his parents wont accept pilipina to marry. we enjoyed the two months period until we get intimate i fall inlove and i know he also do. but the time comes that i feel hurt alreday because i want a relationship. I spoke to him about my feelings and told him that if he still cannot commit we need to stop what we have. first because im relaly not into this kind of relationship and im not getting any younger im 33. He said sorry he cannot and he dont want to foool me coz im a very nice person. 1 week now after we talked we dont communicate much. but i really miss him. I want to change his mind and commit to me.is there any way to do that or i should just move on? Help

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:52 pm

I think you should move on. Not b/c you can’t make him fall for you but b/c your time is so much more valuable than his time. You should find someone without that religion roadblock. Distance, online stuff that isn’t the roadblock. That religion thing is hard to overcome.

Danielle

February 23, 2014 at 10:17 am

Hi Chris,

Like reading your guide. We broke up 2 days ago and I immediately started NC.

Question is, once NC is over and we get a date, I’m Moslem so can we avoid the physical stuff like hugging and holding hands? But still ignite e emotions inside him?

Appreciate if you can help!

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:28 pm

I mean ya…. you technically can but it will be harder. You can’t even hug or hold hands?

Valencia

February 21, 2014 at 11:43 am

Hello, Chris!
I really enjoyed reading your guide. Everything you say sounds logical and I like the fact that you’re blunt. I have some mixed feelings about wanting to get my ex back, because I definitely would like to get back together if he still acted towards me the same way like when we were some 4 years into our relationship, but he had a major depression in our 6th year and has changed significantly in some ways since then. We broke up about 2 years ago. It was a mutual break-up on some level, but because he got together with another girl almost right away after the break-up, it got emotionally very difficult for me – I could’t eat, sleep, got depressed and blamed myself for everything. The major contributor of our break-up was the fact that I couldn’t help him through a very difficult time. He shut me out emotionally and became suicidal, but instead of being his shoulder to lean on, I sort of kept demanding him to cater to my emotional needs as well and didn’t try hard enough to help him. Thus our relationship ended in mutual heartbreak. His “rebound” girl actually managed to do some more damage to him, as she was even more demanding than I was and in addition very jealous of me. They were together for some 6 difficult months and he broke up with her, when he went to do PhD to another country. We kept in touch through most of their relationship, except for 2 last months, when he gave into her demands to stop any contact with me. When they broke up he called me up crying and apologetic. I forgave him and we decided to try to remain friends. He has always been my best friend and being apart from him was the most difficult for me particularly because I couldn’t talk and share things with him. He flew in for a visit some 2 months later and we re-connected again. But as I see it now, starting to have sex again was a mistake. For me it was a sign of hope that we could rebuild our relationship, but he literally got anxious and scared that it was too soon and that things between us would go back to the recent “bad” place. He flew back to his university and we have kept in touch via skype since. After some more months he got better and there were no such anxiety issues on his part any more, thus we became friends with benefits – flying to see each other from time to time to have some intimate relationship + skyping each other for hours every day in between. But recently it has become obvious to me that while I’m still holding on to our past relationship in a big way and hoping, he wants to move on with his life and have me only as a best friend/crutch. We had just spent the New Year’s 2014 together but 2 weeks after this new great girl arrived on the campus and he has fallen in love. I’m no expert, but obviously he has not had any “in love” type of feelings for me this whole time if he just moved on to her this quickly. At the moment his love life is also complicated as this new girl still has ties to her boyfriend and they’re all in a love triangle for now, which makes my ex sad etc. As you may imagine I’m confused about whether it would realistically be the best move to try and get my ex back at all or let’s say when this new girl travels back to her country in 3 months (she’s an exchange student). From my part I can say that I still do love him. He’s a great guy and he’s very special to me as he’s very intelligent and interesting to talk to and we have so much in common – there is no one else that I’ve met, who compares to him. I know that there are more than just one person who is right for you, but I’ve been actually looking around for two years now and going out on some dates etc. but I haven’t been able to find anyone who compares. As to him, I know that he cares about me and he has ties to me, which he also doesn’t want to break, but imo he doesn’t see me as a potential gf, because of our history, which has left some serious scars and also because I’ve gone about wrong trying to get him back: I’ve always been available – for talk and sex, I’ve been a real “buddy” to him – have listened to his talks about his crushes etc. Also I in no way feel like the “ungettable girl” because my self esteem is not that great atm and he’s definitely in charge of our relationship dynamic and he knows it! Do you think there is actually any way to turn this around in my favour and get back together on equal terms?
Thank You for reading this long post 🙂
Me

February 20, 2014 at 10:54 pm

My ex keeps saying he’s tired of me and of relationships. Yet, he seems to never fully let me go. He wanted to stay best friends the day he broke up with me, but now a month later he wants to be friends, but not as close. Best friends would be doing what we did before the break up (e.g. going to each others houses and hanging on weekends), but now he’s saying he doesn’t want to do this stuff, or not as often as we used to because he is tired of me. Then again he changes his mind a lot. What does this mean that he’s tired of me? What do I do? I feel like the best way to get him back is to allow us to be friends and be the “girl he fell in love with” who was carefree and made him chase me like crazy. Eventually spending enough time together could spark old emotions (he said it himself after the breakup that feelings coming back could be easy and possible). Do you believe that just being his friend and not bringing up the past and our relationship could lead to kissing, touching, being close enough to be together again?

admin

February 21, 2014 at 6:16 pm

Ya but kissing, touching, etc doesn’t necessarily lead to a commitment. It can lead to fwb and that isn’t a position you want to be in.
Me

February 21, 2014 at 7:52 pm

Yeah I know. But what does it mean when he says he’s tired of me?

arianne

February 14, 2014 at 6:03 pm

hello how are you?.its been 3months since the last i visit your website.anyway.. this page was very helpful.. a year ago when my ex bf and i broke up and i want him back.. and actually i ask for your help. the 30 day nc rule was pretty amazing.. i gain my self control and i realize that i dont want him back anymore but i still love him,, thats the reason why i read this page to get over with him, well i want to fall in love again but in the right time and right guy so i really want to get over with him.. i dont want to be scared to fall in love again.. its been four years relationship so its really hard to move on.. when there are guys who wants to date me i always reject them because im scared.. i dnt know why.. i cant explain it why im scared,

admin

February 14, 2014 at 6:53 pm

Why do you reject them?
arianne

February 15, 2014 at 9:34 pm

maybe because none of them gets my attention. and they are not really serious to court me.. my ex is very happy now to his new relationship and i want to be happy too and move on.. i dont want to think about him anymore..

janice

February 14, 2014 at 4:16 am

A person whether male or female should want you for what’s in your heart. Every one changes with age. Mind’ body and soul. If we just look at a person for their outer apprenace then we as humans are really lost. Yes looks it fine but never judge the book by its cover. Just like with any stds looking at a good looking male or female you can’t tell what the carry. Look in the heart. The eys are the window to the soul. Sometimes people come into our llives to teach us something then move on. We all have seasons when people come and go.

admin

February 14, 2014 at 6:42 pm

Very wise words haha.

Olivia H.

February 13, 2014 at 6:48 am

Hey chris,
im actually pretty glad I found this website because even though I probably told myself DOZENS of times before; “you don’t have to go as far as LOOKING UP HOW TO GET YOUR EX TO FALL FOR YOU AGAIN” but ya know sadly, emotions take over your head a little more thanyour brain itself… if that even makes sense lol. ANYWAY my situations a little different you see I just entered highschool this past august and I know you probably don’t have much time for a little 14 year olds sob story but I just cant help but tell it now: see, I had just moved to a new town that was 2 hours away from my old one and I honestly thought I was going to find no one cause I have really low self esteem in myself which kind of sucks… anyway about a month and a half into the school year I met “him” and we kind of just started talking immediately because if you knew him, you’d probably wonder whats not to love about him? fast forward 2 months and by that point were pretty steady but then… disaster. my dad took my phone and without it I have pretty much no contact to the outside world and the thing that really sucks is that when he takes it, its not just a few days. im talking MONTHS so that already fucked up our constant usual convo but it was no biggie to me then, we were still gonna see each other at school right? right. thing is…. my bum, heartless, ungrateful ass kind of.. ergg “lost interest for a min” like he did NOTHING wrong and here I am acting like a mope about everything he does and now my avoidation ( I kind of just made up that word just now Lol) has become so obvious to him we kind of just FELL OFF and at first I was actually “relieved” if you can believe that. im a bitch, I know. he didn’t deserve that. now fast forward to now. we haven’t talked in about 3 and a half months :/ and I miss him a lot now and what sucks is that I don’t even have the freaken guts to tell him that.. 🙁 I just feel like he is fine with ignoring me now since I did it to him all that time but now I KNOW how he felt and lemme tell you. it fucken sucks. I know im young but I honestly think I love him. I honestly don’t think anyone can change that at this point like I actually “cry” thinking about all the memories we had; the facetimes, messages, hugs, kisses, high moments… *sigh* I really don’t know if he even likes me anymore because to my perfect luck. we actually made contact last week like he hugged me and told me to faceime him but you know what? I DIDNT HAVE MY PHONE and I don’t even know my home number so that was just a fuck up but when we hugged.. a shit load of memories just flooded my head and I actually thought I was gonna cry right on the spot. I tried writing him a letter explaining to him how I felt but everytime I see him, he just Looks like he doesn’t want to talk :/ augh please Chris, what should I do?

sincerely: a pathetic, heartbroken girl.
P.s: sorry if my stories a little confusing… im not that good at just getting right to the point..

admin

February 14, 2014 at 3:11 am

High school… ahh those were the days.

And of course I have time for a 14 year olds sob story.

Let me ask you something though. Have you read a lot of the guides on here? Like on this website?

Hannah

February 12, 2014 at 5:59 am

What do I do if I think that the ex that I want back read this and did the same thing on me up to the friend-zone part. because honestly, that’s exactly what happened last year and it sucked but I’m gonna take things really slow now and try to get him back by summer-ish.

Hannah

February 12, 2014 at 6:01 am

I’m still kind of planning on using the tactics but is there and modification that might help the situation and keep him from knowing what I’m up to?

Vi

February 11, 2014 at 9:45 am

Hi there, so let me just cut to the chase. My boyfriend and I broke up a 2 years back, although we live in different countries, time to time we see each other for a day out and sex.

I get very confused with his feelings towards me. Obviously I still love him, I love him even more after we broke up. But I don’t have a choice but to be strong and ‘pretend’ that I no longer need him.

I’ve had few flings for the past year, I told him about it and he’s concerned but I don’t see why he does that. He always tells me to get another boyfriend and move on, but why doesn’t he step up to be the man? Because I’ve always told him that I love him.

When we meet, everything is great. Seems like he’s more drawn into me than when we were dating before. He complimented me and we had sex. Sure there is the distance between us, am I really not that worth it for him? sex isn”t something that of us play with> he hadn”t sleep with anyone but me>

what should i do

thanks

admin

February 11, 2014 at 6:27 pm

Well, do you think hes ready to commit to you? I am just scared you might turn into his booty call.

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746 thoughts on “The Definitive Guide To Making Your Ex Boyfriend Love You Again”