The Definitive Guide To Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

779 thoughts on “Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Teejay

November 13, 2013 at 11:39 pm

Hi there, Chris!

My ex dumped me a few weeks ago and I have been struggling with the NC rule. He has shown up on my doorstep twice, the first time drunk. So I asked if he wanted to hang out the next day-no response. So I left him alone again. A few days ago he sent me a long, sappy message that ended in “…you..really were a breath of fresh air Teejay” equipped with a video of “explosions in the sky-your hand in mine” over facebook messenger! Sadly, I responded asking what he meant–and then he didn’t respond!! WTF is that all about?? I want him back, obviously. But his messages are unclear.

admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:00 pm

Do you think he is playing games with you?
Teejay

November 14, 2013 at 10:17 pm

I’m starting to believe that it is a power play. That he wants me to think about him–that he wanted me to be the last one to send a text so that HE is once again the one ignoring ME. Does this make his messages meaningless? Should I even consider whatever he was trying to relay? What of him showing up at my doorstep? What should I do if that happens again? It has been about a week since his last appearance. Like I said, I want him back, but I’m not giving in to his slacker approach to getting back into the relationship /:
admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:51 pm

Hmm… I say look at his actions rather than his words. What do his actions say?
TeeJay

November 19, 2013 at 3:43 am

My ex knows that I will not be contacting him for 30 days. I told him not to talk to me for a month so that I could get over him before I knew about NC. I just wanted him to stop seeing him after he dumped me and move on..except not really. But he has still called, and sent texts, and shown up at my door twice. Does telling him ruin the effect?
admin

November 19, 2013 at 6:52 pm

A little bit BUT STILL I don’t think he thinks your going to be able to do it.
TeeJay

November 20, 2013 at 8:53 am

What’s the game plan for when he shows up ?
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:54 pm

Just be pleasant but a little short withhim.
TeeJay

November 21, 2013 at 9:13 pm

He showed up yesterday morning and I completely ignored the knocks. I then received annoyed texts.
admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:18 pm

Hahaha he really wanted to see you.

Kat

November 13, 2013 at 6:31 pm

I have been in an LDR with my ex for over 4 years. We met online, talked a lot. Lived only a few hours away, finally met, dated, moved even further away due to other issues and then the last year we were together we were miserable. We barely saw eachother, we fought a lot. He put less effort and bitched a lot. It was only when we were physically together that we were truly happy with eachother. I realize now that a lot of it was my fault. I couldn’t let go of things and I was stubborn and too prideful to say things like “I love and miss you” and was always the first to throw in the towel with him. We ended up taking a break for a few months still telling each other we love each other and talking every night. I started to say I love you less and less.
We broke up because i didn’t give him the attention and love i gave him 3 years prior to this past year.
I was too prideful and stubborn and was always first to throw the towel in. He always had to reel me in.
One night I texted him finally giving in saying I miss him while we were on a break for a few months. We had fought but I finally just said I missed him.
Turns out he is slowly starting to fall for this other girl. She makes him feel like I used to, they have had sex and he ignored me for 2 days he was with her. Were both pretty honest with each other so he told me the sex was great but the best time was still with me even though they have great chemistry. He also says I am better at giving blowjobs. I had to beg him for that info. I wanted him to tell me if she was better so I knew where I stood and if I should just stop. They aren’t in a relationship but he is thinking of being in one with her. I was so desperate I finally drove to his home because I told him he needed to tell me he didnt love me to my face since he was saying it on the phone. I told him if he told me he didnt love me to my face it would help me move on and I would have no hope. But for once I am going to chase him, for once I am going to fight for him. He said he wished I would have done it a long time ago. I told him I was too stubborn but now I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want to lose my best friend. He told me with her, he had been happier than he had been in a long time. I asked him if he was happier than he ever was with me and he said no he still loved and treasured all our memories he just doesn’t think that its going to work out right now. He couldn’t tell me he didn’t love me, he told me he still had feelings for me but they werent as strong as they used to be. After I left he said he was really upset but he called her and when she barely talked to him she made his world so much better. That is what I used to do! That I my job, is just replacing me with her. He just wants love and attention! I want to be that light in his life again. This all happened this weekend. He told me Im still the funniest girl and he got a little jealous from seeing guys message my phone. Also he was talking to me while I was driving up and he said he didn’t want me to drive up there because he felt it was going to ruin his chances with her. When I finally reached his town I stopped at a gas station and he proceeded to call to find out where I was since I should have been there by now. I finally answered and told him to forget it. I was stuck on some street but It was nothing big and I was going to turn around in a little bit and be on my way. He refused and actually went around town looking for me! Even though I told him I was safe and my car was fine and I just didn’t want to ruin his chances with someone who made him happy. He still said since Im here already he might as well see me. That must mean something! He admitted he was a little happy to see me but not like how he felt with her, which is how he used to feel with me.
Ugh sorry I have taken so long writing this. Another problem is around next year I will go overseas for a few months and I know that will cause an issue. He wanted me to move in with him and that overseas trip was a reason I was saying no. I want to be with him. I know I do, I was too stubborn and prideful and as he likes to say “difficult” even when he found me around town, I couldn’t help but smile while we argued because I was so happy and he couldn’t help but smile while telling me I was so difficult. I ended up telling him that this time Im going to fight for him and get him back. He asked what if he falls in love with her. I asked if he was and he said its too soon to tell but he really likes her.

I stumbled onto your website the next day when I got home, I read the first giant post then started on the LDR one. Currently reading your FB one now. I just don’t know if I already screwed this up big time and im scared that if I don’t talk to him for a month he is going to move on with her. I am used to not talking to him, he always wanted my attention and admiration and I started withholding that from him. So im scared he is just going to feel like I havent changed. I want to remind him I miss him and have him talk to me about random shit all day again. I don’t want to lose him. He worked so hard for me and now its my turn. Do I still have a chance? What should I do?

admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:03 pm

Sure you do. You have made mistakes but that doesn’t mean all of your chances are over.
Kat

November 15, 2013 at 4:08 am

what should i do? Do I still try and follow your guide?
admin

November 15, 2013 at 7:09 pm

I would right now yes!

anon

November 12, 2013 at 1:13 am

Hey chris,

I have a quick question, I don’t want to go into too much detail but we broke up a couple of days ago. He sent me texts that night saying it’s not because he doesn’t love and we had a short conversation before I decided to stop replying because I simply didn’t know what to say to him. He’s trying to make this a nice break up I suspect and he seems caring asking if I’m ok. So I haven’t text him since the day we broke up and he’s text me today saying he hopes I’m ok and do I think we should change our facebook. I obviously didn’t respond as I’m starting NC straight away, but do I change the status myself first or wait for him to make the first move. He still hasn’t changed his yet. It’s like he’s asking my permission to change it and this seems like an unusual thing to do to me.

admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:53 pm

Change it first. It’s really not that huge of a deal when you think about it.
anon

November 12, 2013 at 10:28 pm

I wasn’t thinking of it as a huge deal, but at the same time I know it sounds silly but it makes it feel more real if that makes sense. I was also wondering about something else. On the day he broke up with me he was texting me that night asking if I was ok, and still calling me baby as well as other terms of endearment saying that it wasn’t because he doesn’t love me. Also we broke up at my house and he was still there for over an hour afterwards yet he didn’t take any of his stuff with him. I find this confusing as if it was me and I was adamant I wanted to break up with someone I would make sure I took everything with me. This coupled with the fact that he’s asking if I think we should change our facebook is making me wonder two things. Do you think he is wanting me to reply and fight for the relationship? it would explain why he left his stuff and still calls me baby etc as well as asking if I think we should change our facebook, or do you think he’s 100% sure and is just trying to make it easier for me? He’s being too nice and I know that a sign someone wants you back is that they are angry not caring.
admin

November 13, 2013 at 7:03 pm

I hesitate to call anything 100% when i comes to this.

Dani

November 9, 2013 at 4:20 pm

My ex broke up with me a few days ago….for the second time….and we were only together for a couple months….we met online on a dating site because I was living back in my home state and planning on moving out here….we talked everyday for two months and then I moved out here…he broke up with me after my first week here because I kept drinking so much….I blew up his phone the first day of the break up…then completely went NC….then a week later he hit me up on the dating site and said he missed me…we got back together that night….he said he missed me and (he was still friends with me on FB) and said he payed attention to everything I posted on Facebook…but if we were to break up again he’d delete me from facebook.
Two days ago he broke up with me again because he said it was “too much drama”…. because I got pissed that he’d RARELY call or text…the only time we ever really saw each other was on the weekends and I’d spend all weekend at his house. But during the week he never kept in contact…He broke up with me VIA Facebook! I sent him one message saying I deserve better anyway and now I’m going completely NC but he still hasn’t deleted me off FB and yesterday he shared a link I shared on there. WTF?

admin

November 10, 2013 at 1:21 am

A facebook breakup? That is pretty low.

How long have you been in NC for?
Dani

November 10, 2013 at 2:49 am

Well he just broke up with me 4 days ago….sooo since then…except a drunken mishap last night where I (honestly) accidentally called him instead of who I meant to….I texted “Sorry didn’t mean to call you.” Today he texted back with “Yes you did, but enjoy f**king your new d*ck”….which is a bit confusing seeing as I am not seeing anyone new.
admin

November 10, 2013 at 9:50 pm

Just don’t engage him anymore. He needs to calm down and you kind of do too (be more logical I mean.) Right now emotions are high on both sides.
Dani

November 10, 2013 at 11:14 pm

Yeah….well I have decided to avoid facebook completely for a week….Usually I’m an avid poster on there….do you think he is paying attention to the fact that I won’t be posting anything…also will that have a negative or positive effect? I just figured staying off Facebook would be better then torturing myself with constantly looking at his page or wondering what he is doing when he is not online.
admin

November 11, 2013 at 5:54 pm

Good ole Facebook hahahaha. Soemtimes that is for the best.
Dani

November 12, 2013 at 1:03 am

for sure….thanks for the advice 🙂
Dani

November 17, 2013 at 1:41 am

yikes….okay..so I went back on Facebook yesterday and did this stupid thing where I had to put “I’m pregnant” as my status…not thinking about it, really….then a few hours later the ex messaged me “Please tell me this is a joke.” I was out with a very good looking distraction so I didn’t respond. This morning though, I figured I should because I don’t think it would be fair to allow my ex to think he knocked me up so I wrote back with “Yes…it’s a stupid facebook thing. Sorry to hear you are sick. Hope you feel better.” because his status said he is sick. He wrote back, “I could really use a cuddle buddy. I hate being sick.” SO I replied with, “Sorry to hear that.” He wrote “yep” I wrote, “well, feel better :)” Did everything get completely messed up and did all chances of getting him back get ruined?
admin

November 17, 2013 at 8:10 pm

We are friends on FAcebook right? Because I got that I’m pregant status from someone yesterday.

No I don;t think so I just think he was feeling you out a bit.
Dani

November 18, 2013 at 7:29 pm

He responded with “You too”….
Is neutral at least a step in the right direction?
I guess when I’m neutral to a guy I broke up with it just means that I don’t really care anymore and I’m indifferent towards their existence…. :-/
admin

November 19, 2013 at 5:51 pm

Guys aren’t exactly the same but yes you need to work on getting a more positive response.
Dani

November 18, 2013 at 6:15 am

Okay….I messed up even more :-/ I went on that dating site….just out of boredom….saw he was on….I messaged him….ugh…I messaged “hey.” He wrote back “What’s up?” I put, “Not much. Bored. You?” He put, “Getting over being sick.” I put “Being sick is never fun. But at least you’re getting over it.” He put, “Yep.” And I put, “I like your pictures, F***. (<–his name). Have a good night." Did that conversation go terrible and did I just self sabotage myself even more with the prospect of having him want me back?
admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:55 pm

No sounds really neutral though.
Dani

November 17, 2013 at 9:24 pm

haha yes…we are facebook friends….what do you mean by feeling me out? And is that a good thing? lol
admin

November 18, 2013 at 5:53 pm

Yes like he seeing how you are going to respond to things.
Dani

November 10, 2013 at 2:51 am

btw I meant 4 days ago he broke up with me…I put 2 on my original post.

Sherrell

November 8, 2013 at 8:40 pm

Hello! I read a lot of your articles and I must say that it’s helped me a lot! I have a story for you and I would really love some advice. I’m a 19 year old college student and I recently found one of my old friends from middle school on Facebook and I added him. We talked for a while and added each other on Xbox live. While playing Xbox one day, we were talking and he introduced me to his 18 year old cousin who we’ll call G. I won’t give names, just in case. Anyway, me and G connected instantly and even though we never met in person, we had a lot in common. One day me and G were talking and he asked where I lived and told him my state, then I said I will be moving in a couple of months to go to to (another state) to attend college there. G got excited and told me that’s where him and his cousin were currently living and that he would love to meet and hang out with me when I moved there. I got excited as well, because G was really cool and fun to talk to,and I thought it was amazing how I never met this guy, yet it just so happens that I’m moving to the state where he lives, and how quickly we got along. After a few days, me and G began getting closer. We added each other on instagram, Facebook, etc, and he mentioned how beautiful I was. I thought he was extremely attractive as well, so I told him. One day, he got a little jealous because me and my friend were talking about cute guys and who we would see as future husbands, (just for fun). I asked him why he got so upset, and he said it was because he liked me a lot. I thought it was weird at first, but then I realized that I felt the same about him. We had a long talk about it, and we ended up getting even closer than before. A few months went by and he decided to ask for my number, which I gave to him. He called and texted me everyday, saying things like “hey beautiful, good morning beautiful, etc. Our conversations usually lasted for at least 4 hours, with the longest being 6 hours. Weird huh? Anyway, we were talking for about 5 to almost 7 months total and recently I noticed last week that he stopped contacting me like he usually did. I didn’t get alarmed at first because during that time my phone was off so I tried contacting him on Facebook. Before I did that, I noticed that he put a video on instagram. He was with some new girl and he was kissing her. I was hurt, so I went on fb and asked him about it and he said “the distance was too much for me, I didn’t realize it was a problem until now, I’m so sorry for hurting you, everything I said to you was the truth.” I was outraged and called him a liar and told him to never speak to me again, then I unfriended him from every social media site we were connected on. After thinking about what I said, I went back an hour later and apologized for being upset, and I told him I can’t be mad because he was never truly my boyfriend. He said “I understand” then he blocked me on Facebook! As the days went by, I kept thinking about him, and one of our mutual friends even told me that he said he wanted me to “figure it out own my own, so that’s why he stopped contacting me” That made me a little upset, so I decided to try my best to forget him, and do a no contact rule. So far it’s been 12 days but, I noticed when I got on Facebook to reply to a friend’s message, his name was blue, (which means he unblocked me) Just to be sure, I went to his page and sure enough, I could see his posts. I figured since he unblocked me, he probably wanted to check my Facebook. Since we’re not friends on fb, if he went to my page he could only see my pictures, so I decided to post a new picture of me. I got my hair cut and had on a cute outfit. The picture received a lot of likes, and I’m hoping he sees it! But I can’t help but wonder, why would he unblock me? Is he thinking about me even though he has a new girlfriend? My friends said when I finally move to (that state) I should give him another chance since we never met, but they said I shouldn’t run to him and I should make him earn it. What do you think? I really miss him and he was different from other guys I dated or talked to in the past. P.s, he also told our mutual friend that he hasn’t even been with his new girlfriend for a month yet and that he RECENTLY met her in class. Isn’t that similar to a rebound relationship? He jumped right into a relationship with her! (He’s still in high school so I figured he’s still a bit immature) and he also told our friend that he didn’t want to hurt me and that he was extremely sorry, and he didn’t want our friend to tell me anything he said about me. What should I do?? Sorry for the long story.

admin

November 10, 2013 at 12:00 am

Yes have you read the rebound relationship guide? You can kind of get your questions answered there. As for the unblocking of Facebook.

I don’t know a million things could be going through his head but one thing is for sure, you are in there somewhere.

Shelby

November 3, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Ok Chris, Shelby again. He deleted me from fb because he said I’m not ready to be friends, mind you item deleted him four months ago at the begging of the break up but we talked and added each other again. So now that he’s mad that I won’t give up on us he deleted me, does he still look at my profile? Or our messages? He can still see my page and I can still see his. Day 15 of no contact.

admin

November 4, 2013 at 5:09 pm

It is HIGHLY likely that he still looks at your profile.

Kirsty

October 30, 2013 at 11:00 am

My ex-boyfriend broke up with me back in June. We’ve had no contact with each other since. I met him on a dating website and saw that he was viewing my dating profile for two weeks nearly 2 to 3 times a day!… What does that mean?

Especially because he deliberately went through his whole facebook page the day after he broke up with me and deleted/hide everything – posts, photos etc. He basically deleted 4 months of his life.

admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:32 pm

It means he is really worried about you getting a date with someone else. Hahahahahahaa.
Kirsty

October 31, 2013 at 7:22 am

So I take that as a good thing then?…. I’ve recently learned that he isn’t seeing anyone.

The reason he broke up with me is because he told me that he felt “guilty” and was being unfair to me. He told me that he didn’t regret anything we did. That he could see us being friends, that he is still attracted to me and told me that I looked nice lol. He owns his own business and did work very long hours but I just have a sneaking feeling that he may have cheated….. Thoughts??? 🙂
admin

October 31, 2013 at 7:44 pm

Well cheating isn’t anything to mess around with. What makes you think he did?
Kirsty

November 1, 2013 at 3:21 am

The night before he broke up with me he blew me off to hang out with his best friend and his best friends girlfriend. That night he deleted the “relationship status”. He completely ignored me. That night I saw that a photo had been posted with people tagged and there was another chick tagged and that he had “liked” a few of her photos. So the next day when he broke up with me he said that he felt “guilty” because he was being unfair on me. Now I hope that I’m wrong but something possibly went down that night and he felt bad.
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:36 pm

Man that is cold.

I hope you are wrong too but I have a suspiscion you may be right. Either way, stay in NC for a while.

Monica

October 29, 2013 at 2:47 pm

I did unfriend him because I wanted to go complete no contact..I saw him the other night though. we had a good discussion. He said that he missed me and that it was hard for him to look at me because I was very disarming.He also complained that we were not friends on fb:) I told him perhaps in sometime…

admin

October 30, 2013 at 3:55 am

Well, thats ok. Unfriending him has advantages as well I suppose.

C

October 28, 2013 at 3:53 pm

What if something went down with an ex and you just don’t post on FB at all for a bit. Don’t even log in. Especially if you know that’s how he keeps tabs on you? Would that help make him want you and want to contact you? If so, how long do you do it for?

admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:40 am

I would take the opposite approach, log in and post pictures at how great my life was without him if I was you.

delyth james

October 27, 2013 at 2:19 pm

My ex boyfriend dumped me a month ago . But hes not contacted me . I tect him once . Ive bn in no contact for a week now . We were tgether for over a year and a half . Hes on fbk but we not friends . Hes added a new girl and liked her photo . I feel sick and gutted . Wat shall I do . Text him or block him for the reminder of the no contact period

admin

October 27, 2013 at 10:55 pm

Hi Delyth!

Haha I know you from our hassle with the E-Book ;).

Keep in mind that him liking someone status on Facebook means nothing. Take a deep breath and try not to reach into every little move he makes. Youll be ok!
delyth james

November 1, 2013 at 10:57 am

Oh yea . I remember . Still cant look at your book . Well ive bloked him foe now . Cos I want to be out of mind . But ive done no contact for two weeks . When he ended it he said he loves me and he wants to give me the relationship I deserve but hes scared . . It was out of the blye . Glad you remembered the Welsh girl . Quick questiom . Did u break up with ur misses or go back to an ex ? X
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:54 pm

Did I break up with my misses?

I broke up with my ex hahah.
delyth james

November 1, 2013 at 9:22 pm

Lol just asking from a male point of view. Have yoy ever dumped s girl and gone back to her ? If so what made you go back .
admin

November 2, 2013 at 6:29 pm

I have dumped and girl and wanted her back.

Well, I am not sure actually… it was a complicated time and I think just having someone to lean on is what I missed the most. It made me want her back.
delyth james

November 4, 2013 at 8:30 pm

My mum thinks I should write s letter saying evrything thst I wanr to tell him and then start nc . What u think
delyth james

November 21, 2013 at 6:28 pm

No I cant read it . Ive done nothing wrong apart ftom not showing my feelings as I had bad relationship in past . I wasn’t possesive or clingy . But I dont know wat to do so I wont make mistakes . Csn u tell me a simple step by step
admin

November 22, 2013 at 6:54 pm

Well a step by step isn’t simple to just write down. But the closest to it is this guide: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/
delyth james

November 28, 2013 at 10:26 pm

Hia I cant access anything on the site so can I have a refund please . Sorry to be a pain . Thanks again you have been a great support x
admin

November 29, 2013 at 2:06 am

Sure it’s no problem! I am sorry about the crazy inconvienece.. Never happened to anyone before.
delyth james

November 22, 2013 at 8:24 pm

So ive done wrong because my bf dumped me . Oh that not good
delyth james

November 21, 2013 at 6:38 pm

Whay bad stuff have theu done? And wat did the successfull women do ?
admin

November 22, 2013 at 6:51 pm

Anything from breaking up with them, to cheating on them, to having been broken up with.
admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:16 pm

In the end it is all up to you. However, I don’t like letters. In fact, I have never seen one work.
delyth james

November 5, 2013 at 7:10 pm

So how can I contact him then ? Via text . Why dobt letter work . It worked years ago . Csn I send a Christmas card
delyth james

November 20, 2013 at 9:02 pm

So on ur site do you get women winning their exes back more than they dont? Or do usually women not win their exes back . How do they do it ? . Has women never had contact with their exes again?
admin

November 21, 2013 at 6:20 pm

Most women want their exes back.

Some get them back and some don’t. I would say there are more fails than successes to be honest but that’s usually because people don’t stick to the plan or have done something so bad to their ex that he won’t take them back. Have you read the success section of some of the successes?
delyth james

November 20, 2013 at 8:44 pm

But becausr I cant read your ebook . I dont know what steps I need to tske to get him back ? So I wont message him on fbk then lol
admin

November 21, 2013 at 6:19 pm

UGH its so unofortunate that you can’t get the book. You have no laptop or anything you can download it to? It has to be on your phone?
delyth james

November 19, 2013 at 6:31 pm

Just unblocked him on fbk and hes added 10 hot gitls and liked one or two photos. Does this mean hes moved on ?
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:11 pm

No it means he is a guy..
delyth james

November 19, 2013 at 6:06 pm

So what can I do yo win him bsvk? No contact
Please be honest do u think hr will contact me ? I need to know from your experiences or shall I give up hope .
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:09 pm

I am not 100% sure you can win him back but you can certainly increase your chances.

I am not ever sure if he will contact you but you can contact him eventually! I mean, that is what everyone else has to do on the site sometimes.
delyth james

November 18, 2013 at 7:52 pm

But what if im not ready to contact him then . ? What if ill push him further away . Csn I fo 8 weeks no contact ?
admin

November 19, 2013 at 5:53 pm

You can. Remember don’t do anything that you think is uncomfortable.
delyth james

November 18, 2013 at 6:12 am

But I feel ive pushed him further away by the sending the latter . How lobg shall I do NC for ? As u said 3 months vis to long
admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:46 pm

I just think a simple 1 month long no contact is ideal.
delyth james

November 17, 2013 at 3:54 pm

So shall I do no contact ? For a few months? . Or forget him . He will foget me . ? He said he cant be in a relationship . Hes on wassup all day all week ? Hes moved on .
admin

November 17, 2013 at 9:10 pm

Definitely do NC. But remember you are also doing this for you.
delyth james

November 16, 2013 at 11:55 am

I would like to read it . As I need advice about the no contact . But I dont want to loose him . But I still want your guidance but want a refund to . Do u think he will ever contact me again ?
admin

November 16, 2013 at 10:16 pm

I think the chances of you two talking again are high. When? I don’t know unfortunately.
delyth james

November 14, 2013 at 9:04 pm

How can I work on getting him back ? When he doesnt know what he wants . Whst csn I do as I dont want hom to come till he ready im not going to pressure him .
admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:39 pm

Its tough b/c you know in the end its all up to him. I find the best way to make progress is to put the focus on you. Find inner happines, better yourself and give him time to sort things out. Also, since you weren’t able to download the E-Book (which I am so sorry about btw) would you like to have a refund?
delyth james

November 14, 2013 at 3:21 pm

So is there hope to get him back? Or shall I move on with mylife . Do u think ive lost him for good ?
admin

November 14, 2013 at 8:11 pm

I think there is but at the same time you kind of can do both. Work on getting him back while moving on. It’s kind of look doing both at once and it will put you in a better place emotionally.
delyth james

November 13, 2013 at 5:45 pm

No he wasnt violent the ex I want to get back with my first bf was and therefore I pushed my new ex away . My new ex came up on sunday and we kissed and he said hes missed me eyc and he want to eork thru our issues before we get back tgether. He text me after I love you do much . Then yestetday I wad meant to c him but nothibg all dsy . Then 12pm had a text saying ……I’m so sorry Del, I don’t know what to do… I have missed you, I’ve freaked out a bit after Sunday I’m not sure whether I want a relationship. I am sorry I hate hurting your feelings. Then I saod…….U obviously didnt love or care about snd sunday was a huge lie . Im def moving on with my life and u obviously met sumone rlse . He then replied ….It’s too difficult to see you face to face, because I can’t stand to see you upset, and I do care about you, and I know that if we met up I’ll feel feelings for you…but deep down when I come away from your house, I don’t want a relationship del and I’m not happy x I said ur should have tokd me if u weren’t happy with me . He thrn said I havnt met anyone else I promise!!!
No I’m not happy within myself……. what shall I do . Is there hope for me to get him bavk please he honest. What csn I do ? X
admin

November 13, 2013 at 9:25 pm

Ohh sorry I completely misunderstood.
delyth james

November 11, 2013 at 8:02 pm

Yea but how should I act ? Cos my abusive ex was violent in sex aswell. So its put me off snd im very cold toward new ex . Im not affectionate at all . So how shud I be if I shud keep him and make him commit ( bf snd gf ) when he ready . He said things need to change
admin

November 12, 2013 at 6:33 pm

Well, I am thinking now if he was that violent you should not be with him….
delyth james

November 10, 2013 at 10:34 pm

Hi . The ex came up tnite and we spoke . He ssid he was scared cos I wasnt being caring towards him etc and had my guard up all time . He said things need to change . ( he said he needs to know I love him or hes ending it for gd) . We not back tgetger just taking it slow . How shud I handle it if hes scared . Wat shouldn’t I do ?
admin

November 11, 2013 at 5:50 pm

Tell him the truth, that you love him.
delyth james

November 9, 2013 at 10:30 am

No I posted it two days ago . I said if u dont have a reply ill try and move in honestly do u think I should give up hope if gettibg him back ? . Or go nc fir a while ? I said in ketter get back to me when uve thaught things through
admin

November 10, 2013 at 1:06 am

Go NC and if you are feeling its time to give up don’t worry I can help you with that too.
delyth james

November 8, 2013 at 6:27 pm

Also when he dumped me it ead via text . Can I still win him bavk ?
delyth james

November 8, 2013 at 5:32 pm

Its sent but no reply . So I guess it wasnt the right thing to do and ive def lost him now . I thsught ge wud have snswered the letter to give me closure .
admin

November 8, 2013 at 7:16 pm

Has he answered yet?
delyth james

November 6, 2013 at 9:23 pm

Im going to send a letter . So he doesnt need to reply . Then I can move on with my life
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:29 pm

Go for it. If you feel its the right thing to do.
admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:42 pm

I always recommend via text message.
delyth james

November 4, 2013 at 5:35 pm

Also he was hinting to move in together . And I said no because he needs to finish uni first and also I was petrified that it wudnt work do you think thats why he ended it because he didnt think I wanted a commited relationship ftom him ? I thaught we weren’t ready . Can I text him saying thst I did want to move in with him but wad scared and I love him ?
admin

November 5, 2013 at 4:51 pm

Eventually but not without buttering him up slowly and carefully first…

Wow, that sounded kind of dirty.
TeeJay

November 20, 2013 at 9:24 am

Lol!!
delyth james

November 2, 2013 at 12:58 pm

Also he used to say to me I love u more than u love me . I ssid no . I didnt have a great desl of confidence after past relationship . I didnt show him how much I truly loved him . If I dnt text im worried hes going to think I never loved him . Ive fobe no contact for two weeks fo I carry on or text him
admin

November 2, 2013 at 7:37 pm

So you think you didn’t express how much he really meant to you?
delyth james

November 2, 2013 at 9:03 pm

Yea im a very stand offish person because im scared to show my feeling incase I ger hurt . I know he loves me . He hadnt used me . Its gd he is given hinself space . Because that’s what he needs .
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:18 pm

I understand that. I have a bit of the same in me. However, sometimes you do have to open up.
delyth james

November 3, 2013 at 8:26 pm

So do u think I could get him back cos he did he left ces me but just scared . I hav never been clibgy I let him do his own thing and we go on nites oyt with oyr friends. But I just kaxk confidence in showibg my affection due to my past bf being mentally abusive . Shakl I keep to nc because ive dobe it for two weeks niw .
admin

November 4, 2013 at 5:09 pm

I think so, just stay in NC for now.
delyth james

November 2, 2013 at 4:24 pm

Chris do u think I have a chance of getting him back . Please be honest . Ive not spoken to him sknce the break up a month ago but I text him nearlly two weeks ago . No reply from him .
admin

November 2, 2013 at 7:39 pm

I do but you have to prepare for the possibility that you may not win him back

Bethy

October 27, 2013 at 6:12 am

It’s our second breakup, and it’s been a week of NC. After first break up, I followed all of your rules including NC, and it’s totally succeeded.

Then again, we got good relationship in the beginning of the reconciliation, but he changed a lot. He’s not that serious as before, and seemed like he took me for granted.

After last big fight, he gone silent at all. And I feel he’s having other affairs behind me. (We are long distance). So I can’t feel this bury-me-alive pain, then i broke him off. he said nothing except “sorry”.
I deleted the relationship status from my side, he said nothing and made some photo of us “only-me”.

Now I’m in lot of desperation inside even though I’m putting fun in social statuses and photos.

I’m hurting seeing him, finally I deactivated my FB yesterday.
Honestly I still want this cheated guy who dumped on me.
I want his serious chase like the first time he chased crawling back to me.

I know it shouldn’t. Anyway, It’s my second experience with him, so I’m afraid will this NC effect again like before?

Hopefully let me hear some energetic words from you.

Thanks,
Bethy

admin

October 27, 2013 at 10:36 pm

NC is still a go here!
Bethy

October 28, 2013 at 4:11 am

Hi Chris,
But that’s sucked coz some girls that he flirted before were waiting for our break-up. They became so reached to my ex-bf whenever we got fights.
Now I broke up with him, seems like I made good for them to flirt again. NC still a go here.
Any advice?
admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:07 am

They jumped on him like heynas huh?

Oh well, those girls probably aren’t worth dating like you are 😉
Bethy

October 27, 2013 at 6:27 am

P.S

He become too selfish since our first break up.
I feel like he didn’t want some people know that he take care of me too much. (But he take care of me so much in our private times).

No check-in, no photo when he flighted to me after reconciliation.
Even when he uploaded photos those are tagging me, he made them with privacy not to see the ones he dun want to see.
It hurts me so much, and feeling like he’s acting like that for his other affairs.

I saw some depressed status, and regret songs he put after few days of I broke up with him. but he hided them suddenly, and put other things, e.g, “not to look back past”.

He may miss me, but his ego is terrible. All I want is the time he’s begging and serious about me again from all of his heart. (No bury alive love).

!_!

dee

October 25, 2013 at 9:14 pm

My fiance stonewalled me without warning three weeks ago.I went crazy with worry. I texted and rang hundreds oftimes. Then a text saying “sorry. Im moving on”… Next more stonewalling then an answer to a text of mine regarding money. An arguement ensued and he unfriended me on fb, then a text to him and from saying sorry and he needed more time. Nc for ten days then I send a begging email to hv another chance. A reply from him all condescending saying hes not for me but “would love to be my best friend” no emotion. Like his love for me has disappeared :*(
Could he have stopped loving me that quickly? I think there is another girl. Do I NC now?
I have a huge amount of work to do on myself physically. Do I wait to post on fb until I look spectacular this could be four months???
Im still fb friends with his mother otherwise he will never see my posts…so do I befriend him again and when??? So confused. .thankyou so much!!

admin

October 26, 2013 at 5:40 pm

You should have done NC immideatly after the breakup.
dee

October 26, 2013 at 9:46 pm

But so what now? Is it too late? Are my chances ruined???
admin

October 27, 2013 at 10:08 pm

No your chances aren’t ruined you just need to push the reset button and take a break from thinking about this for a while. Come back with a fresh mind. Seriously I mean it!
dee

October 28, 2013 at 11:20 pm

Thankyou. You could sense my desparation couldn’t you. It’s just that I’m feeling so rejected. I’m so devastated and I wake every morning in a panic.
Yes I do need to clear my mind. I need to become gorgeous again. I will do no contact until I am feeling better about myself. How long is too long for nc…is there a point where its past the point of no return???
Thankyou SO much
admin

October 29, 2013 at 3:10 am

Yes I could sense it BUT I don’t think any less of you for it. I understand what it’s like believe me and I do want to help.

Katie

October 24, 2013 at 8:36 pm

Hi,

I like some other girls on here deleted my ex right after he broke up me because I felt hurt and angry. I did it thinking it would help me not see his page. We continued hashing out the breakup the next day and had a little okay-ish final contact for a few days after that…I ended up readding him on facebook after I calmed down. but I sensed he was beginning to feel a little too cozy at assuming I’d stay around…so I decided to begin no contact. We broke up somewhat impulsivly I think. I think he still loves me and will miss me. So I revamped myprofile and am just going to wait until he realizes it. How am I doing? Also, his profile still says he is in a relationship. Guessing he just hasn’t noticed he should take it down but what gives? Doing even better after your site 😉 thank you.

admin

October 26, 2013 at 12:55 am

You are doing pretty good so far. Stick to what I have said here and you will do ok no matter what 😉
Katia

October 26, 2013 at 3:20 pm

and actually…one more q. he and I are long distance. I’m from where he is and go home for the major holidays. should I try for a meeting at 1 of them?
Katie

October 26, 2013 at 3:04 pm

Thanks 🙂 any thoughts about his relationship status still being there?
admin

October 26, 2013 at 6:04 pm

Either he hasn’t gotten around to it yet or he forgot. Don’t grow too attached to a few words on a facebook profile those are my thoughts.

Candace

October 23, 2013 at 7:09 pm

What if he adds you on fb the same day we broke up (today) from a new fb page he made. It was a really really bad break up and I found out he cheated on me yesterday we have been arguing because he is never on time at the time he is going to tell me to meet me and instead of being mature and calling me to let me know what’s going on hw leaves me in the dark. Cheated with his ex…. (ps we were engaged have a child together and 2 monthes ago we just got back together again because he said he wanted me and our family back)….what do I do as far as nc rule and I haven’t accepted his friens request yet because this just happened a couple hours ago. What exactly do I do as far as a plan for nc and fb ?

admin

October 24, 2013 at 7:18 pm

I would do NC simple as that. Don’t accept the friend request though.
Candace

October 28, 2013 at 1:29 pm

Ok so yesterday he messaged me on fb asking how our son was mind you our son is only 9 months old. And Ive known him for a long time so I know he is trying to use our kid to open a convo with me we broke up on the 23rd and yesterday was the first time hearing from him. Im doing what you said as far as nc. So I didnt respond and 45 mins later he messaged me saying hey then he messaged me 10 mins after that he said you can talk to me about my son even though you dont wanna say s*** to me I still didnt reply he is only using our kid as a way to open convo to me. When we broke up before he has gone weeks without asking about him but then can be on fb all day talking to these fast women and he isnt working right now either and when he realizes im not chasing him he will pop up and my house (we used to live together) see him for 5 mins and the whole time be focused on how I look or if I have a new bf . ..so what do I do next? Ive posted pics of me new long hairstyles new profile pic…he isnt my friend on their though. I love him so much but I dont wanna mess this up. I wanna fix this. So I havent responded what do I do next?
admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:30 am

I think it is ok to talk to him as long as it is about your son and your son only 🙂

Weiss

October 18, 2013 at 3:42 am

A neighbour saw me in our city, added me on Facebook and pursued me strongly from the beginning. We dated for 3 months. He asked for exclusivity in a few dates. Gave me very expensive and romantic gifts constantly. (chocolates,shoes, bags, clothes, books, luxury spa weekends, theatres, expensive restaurants,etc).
He was constantly expressing his insecurities about me leaving him and fears of me getting bored of him. Confessed trying to make me jealous constantly because he was insecure and paranoid.
He said “I love you”, constantly said that he was very happy with me, crazy about me, that I was a challenge, etc, planned for the future but never delivered. When I said I love you too he changed, stopped showing affection and even started critizing me and 1 or 2 bad jokes.

I backed off too, he noticed that and confessed that he had doubts about me because I was “passive” but wanted to talk and see me. I said that I can’t be with someone that has doubts or seemed to stop loving me, that he cnaged, and I break up with him. All by text. 2 months ago I started No Contact. He got VERY angry, posts depressed songs of breakups and a woman leaving on Facebook, etc. But he didn’t pursued me. His last text was: “I really want to see you but it’s very unfair the situation you put me into. In 3 months you don’t really know if you love someone”.

What do you think is he feeling or thinking about us? Do you think that he will stop doubting about his feelings and come back to say sorry for his change in attitude and contradictions? What do you think about us in general? NON negotiable: I’m NOT contacting him again, EVER. He was full of doubts and contradictory.

admin

October 18, 2013 at 6:53 pm

Hard to say. I can’t see the future but I hope so in your case since you relaly seem to care about him.

Not contacting him ever? Why not? I agree with NC but I also know that you have to build a new relationship and sometimes that means talking to him again.
Weiss

October 18, 2013 at 9:24 pm

Thanks for your answer!

Because if I contact him he will know that even if he treats me bad (being full of doubts and stopping showing affection)I will still be in love with him and available. He wanted to keep on seeing me but “taking things slower”. What a incoherencce! It’s like getting a demotion. If after 2 months I’m still available to him even if he didn’t do any effort to get me back (after HIS mistakes) he would percieve me as low value. He should have been scared to lose me and not even give me a chance to meet other men! He should have said, for example: “I’m sorry if I hurt you, I don’t have doubts anymore and it was true when I said that I love you”. In this 2 months he knows that I can date many guys and he should have been scared and not let me break up with him. (I dated but I still haven’t find somebody I like more tan him). And he sees in my Facebook that many guys post in my Timeline and like my pictures. He only posts songs acting like a dumped victim.

What can I do that would make him apologize and be sure that this time he wants to be with me? He should contact me first.
admin

October 19, 2013 at 7:56 pm

He should contact you first you are absolutely right but sometimes it doesn’t happen that way and you have to be the one to reach out to him. A girl I like and I did that dance for 6 months. I was too stubborn to text her and she I. Well, yesterday she finally texted me and no we are doing some hardcore flirting :). So, sometimes the girl has to contact the guy.

I would only recommend contacting him after a NC period though.
Weiss

October 20, 2013 at 1:46 am

🙂 I’m glad for you and your girl! It’s great that you reconnected again! And if after 6 months she is still thinking about you it means it was a strong connection.

How much time were you going to allow this silence with her? I mean, if you really like someone, sooner or later you were going to text her again I guess. If she is your “Dream Girl” I would assume that you were going to contact her anyway, maybe in some months. You would not be able to “function” without her if you are in love.

My theory is that if my ex never pursues me again (seriously) it means that he can live without me. And if he can live without me, he is not in love with me. And I shouldn’t want to date that kind of guy. The only way to know if he really loves me and wants me is to see if he apologizes and clears all his doubts.
admin

October 20, 2013 at 8:50 pm

Ok, I am going to be straight up with her. I was prepared to never talk to her again.

(Not really)

But I got myself in the mindset to never talk to her again and I knew eventually she would reach out and she did. There is story between us though and something happened that I was clearly in the right and she was clearly in the wrong and I am the type of guy that doesn’t make a big deal over drama like that I just prefer to be like “ok, your loss.”

So, while I wanted to talk to her I was prepared to never talk to her again I am confident I can establish another strong connection. Luckily, I was patient and the patience paid off.
Weiss

October 18, 2013 at 3:45 am

Let me add that I was not passive. I was very sweet, cooked him sweet things, Little presents too, very sweet, good sex, available. And randomly I would also say that I wanted to see him too. I gave him what he wanted. (There was no option, he would be always insecure if not!)

abby

October 9, 2013 at 4:18 pm

hi, chris

i want to ask.. when can i pimp up my facebook? i didn’t log in during NCR. is it after NCR period?

Thank you.

admin

October 10, 2013 at 1:36 am

Nope, do it all during NC!
abby

October 13, 2013 at 3:03 pm

Hi chris.. i haven’t bought your book.. i am unimployed.. and waiting for the college life.. sorry for my bad english.. im still looking forward to buy your book.. now this is my next question.. i dont understand why my ex didnt tell anyone that we’re split up.. i knew that because i saw his comments on facebook (before me doing NC).. some of our friends making fun of us.. like ‘i know you doing that with your girlfriend’ which is me.. and he replied ‘yeah2.. u did that too’.. n my friend who is a girl told him that we’re gonna hang out for a while.. she said ‘i want to hang out with with your girl’.. he replied ‘ouh okay’.. the point is, why he didn’t tell anyone that we’re broke up? And yes im the one who dumped him.. thank you chris..
admin

October 13, 2013 at 10:44 pm

If you email me at [email protected] I can give you a discount to make it more affordable.

Linnea

October 6, 2013 at 9:00 pm

So i have a few question but before i ask let me tell you about my ex and i. We had an amazing relationship i can’t even put it in words. So you could imagine i was in shock when i found out his ex had come back from america. I knew nothing about her really just heard from his friends she wasn’t the nicest person and they didn’t like her and he wasn’t aloud to talk to any girls. He started to act weird for say 4 days about and then one morning he just wrote me on facebook and broke up with me. He told me he was really sorry and is really confused about everything. After breaking up with me i told him it would be a bad idea to go into anything with the ex and he said he needed time so i let him think about for two weeks pretty much. I then wrote him again for myself so i could feel better because not getting what i wanted to say off my chest made me not want to eat. During i was talking to him he told me she said she felt like she came between us because he told her how he felt about me still. I know he still has some kind of feelings for me. I also really believe him when he says he feels bad and hes sorry. But i was curious why he hasn’t deleted me off of his facebook. all he did was take me off his chat. What would his reason for that be? He told me i could block him but i didn’t at all just took him off my chat i was the first to do that and he did it later on himself.

admin

October 7, 2013 at 12:42 am

Maybe he wanted to Facebook spy on you. I would do it to an ex just to see what shes up to.
Linnea

October 8, 2013 at 10:37 am

What would be his point in doing that though he is the one who left me for an ex? He has no reason to spy on me.
admin

October 9, 2013 at 2:04 am

Haha TRUST ME you always want to spy on your ex.
Linnea

October 10, 2013 at 9:01 am

NO shes his ex gf she cant be a re bound and i know i wasn’t for a fact.

Sorry there was no reply button on the last reply you sent.
Linnea

October 9, 2013 at 8:29 am

Personally i believe in the whole hes a cancer zodiac sign thing. So i think that as a cancer he wouldn’t do that because it would hurt him to much since cancers never like to hurt people and like to live in the past to try to fix things again. Even though they are setting themselves up for the worst. So perhaps you are right since he likes to live in the past…i have noticed that my exes don’t delete me right away they wait till they see i’m with someone else or when they are with someone else.But hes with his ex i don’t know if they are like officially dating yet i mean she lives at his place now…(like right after he broke up with me she started to live there) but i think hes still confused about everything so hes just keeping me on there for the time being. Could that be correct?
admin

October 10, 2013 at 1:12 am

Hmm… do you think the new girl could be a rebound?

Jane

October 5, 2013 at 1:09 pm

Hi Chris! I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. But things have not been good these past months. I followed your advice to implement the LIMITED contact rule since we have not officially broken up. And during those weeks of no contact I kept myself busy, went back to my hobby, post pictures on facebook showing what I’ve been doing (example: baking) and pictures of myself looking happy. And changed my cover photo which entails a happy message. On the 23rd day of LC, he chatted me up on facebook and asked how I’ve been. So I replied and followed what you said. I kept the conversation short. After a few exchanges I said “I have to go, etc etc”. On the 24th day, he greeted me since it was my birthday but it was only via facebook’s private messaging. We had again a few exchanges and I ended it this time by not responding. I kept posting pictures of how my birthday went: the surprises, the dinner, the flowers. And I think I looked gorgeous in those pictures. On the 25th day, I decided to initiate the conversation by sending him a link via facebook chat of one of my birthday pictures which her mom commented on. I did it because I asked him what his mom meant with the comment. It was a fun conversation, I would say. But after an hour, I ended it again by not responding. This time, I changed my profile picture, one which I thought was stunning. But a few hours after I noticed he deactivated his facebook account. And I don’t understand why. What could be running on his mind for doing this? And what should I do?

admin

October 6, 2013 at 12:21 am

I deactivated my profile once. I did it because I couldn’t look at my girlfriends pictures anymore. It just hurt to.
Jane

October 6, 2013 at 6:47 am

What’s the best thing to do this time since I won’t be able to use Facebook anymore to make him notice me? My 30 days LC will end on the 10th of October. Should I send him a text on that day? Or wait a few more weeks since we already got in touch for 3 consecutive days before the LC ended?
admin

October 6, 2013 at 11:57 pm

Hahah read this post: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/

star

October 2, 2013 at 7:46 pm

ive not been on fb one week know can i post song relating to him or should i still be off fb?please help

admin

October 3, 2013 at 1:47 am

I wouldn’t post anything relating to him but you can get on Facebook.
star

October 4, 2013 at 11:58 am

now is getting 2 month no contact,but when we split up i was acting like i accept his decision like wasn’t border me cool 🙂 and he understood i didn’t love him any more even was his idea no wanted baggage on Holiday LOL :)was upset about that what should i do?still nothing to post on f b relating to him? or is too late now he probebly forgot about me or didnt miss es me at all 🙁
admin

October 5, 2013 at 4:19 am

Ok, I am not trying to sound mean but… WHAT?

Hahaha I don’t understand your comment.
star

October 5, 2013 at 8:08 pm

haah lol should i stil be nc or i can post something relating of him
admin

October 6, 2013 at 12:17 am

NC and I don’t think you should post anything about him.

Someone

October 2, 2013 at 3:09 am

Hey Chris. I’m not sure if I did the right steps.

I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago, and only started NC last Friday. So we are still friends on facebook and he can see my posts.
During the breakup, he told me I should move on and if I find a better guy I should not wait for him.

At the point of our last text, i did the wrong move and texted him to beg him to be back. Then he told me again he didn’t want to get back because he is enjoying his singlehood now; and would probably have an answer by Dec 2013. I told him I respect his decision and started NC.

While we were still tgt (2 years+ rs), there was this guy who had a crush on me. Of cuz being attached, I never gave this guy any chance. But my ex was very jealous of this guy back then.

now that I’m single, I started to hang out with this guy who had a crush on me, and I “checked in” to a posh restaurant with him on Fb.

Will this Check in make my ex jealous? Or will it make him pull away further instead? (I bought ur book btw!)

admin

October 3, 2013 at 12:31 am

Hanging out with the guy could potentially make your ex jealous sure!

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