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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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Post categories
Jackie
February 3, 2017 at 5:58 pm
Hi- I’m wondering if I should unblock my ex on Facebook? I blocked him 5 days ago after him breaking up with me and am not sure how to use Facebook now to my advantage with him blocked. We only dated 4 months and it just ended suddenly after our first argument where nasty things were said. He just said he thought me and my kids were what he wanted but now he just doesn’t feel the same anymore. I’ve been in nc since Tuesday night after I picked my things up from his place. I did ask again why all of a sudden he had a change of heart and he just said he didn’t know and that I needed to stop pushing for an answer. So I’m going to just let it go but don’t know what else to do about Facebook? Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2017 at 9:03 pm
Hi Jackir,
yes you should unblock him but dont add him back..
Dee
January 25, 2017 at 11:09 pm
My boyfriend and I have almost hit the 2 year mark. Save the 2 months he broke up with me over a year ago and completely ghosted me. He’s ghosted me again. He’s currently in a group photo that is my profile picture. I want to know if I should change it to show him I’ve accepted the breakup or give it a minute. It’s been 4 nights.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 26, 2017 at 12:40 pm
Hi Dee,
change it..
Anki
January 8, 2017 at 1:08 pm
Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me on Christmas day, after 4 days of begging and pleading nothing worked out, then i went on the ”NO CONTACT RULE”. It has been 3 days now, I’ve been working on myself, posting happy pictures of myself and all of a sudden today I noticed that he blocked me off facebook but still has kept me on Whatsapp.?? what games iss he playing??
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 8, 2017 at 10:02 pm
Hi Anki,
check this one:
EBR 048: My Ex Boyfriend Unfriended Me On Facebook…. What Does It Mean?
Anon
December 26, 2016 at 3:16 am
Hi, boyfriend & I broke up 4 weeks ago. It was after an argument and very sudden. We had a little contact in the first two weeks while I moved stuff out. Then no contact for two weeks. It’s been me that has instigated it. I contacted him on Christmas Day (video call) as we lost a family member earlier this year and it felt appropriate. I was upbeat, conversation went well. I went to close the conversation then relaxed and carried on. He obv. wanted to wrap it up after a while. Conversation ended positively it felt though, but more geared towards me than asking him Qs. I briefly told him I may be taking work half the week away so he knew I was getting on with positive projects and not mopping around. All seemed well apart from him finishing the conversation. I then noticed this evening he deleted the one profile pic he had of us on Facebook. I really feel like I want to video call tomorrow to ask what lead to him doing that. Is there even any point me thinking there may be a chance of us in the future! Or do I keep quiet and go onto the no contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2016 at 5:04 pm
Hi Anon,
did you video call?
Pippa
December 18, 2016 at 2:36 am
Would a stubborn ex who hasn’t made contact since breaking up with you even bother to look at your Facebook page? He hasn’t blocked me but we’re not Facebook friends.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 21, 2016 at 12:44 am
Hi Pippa,
Yes, more likely he would still look. Especially if he gets curious because you’ve been silent. And yes, you should try a text that doesn’t just require a yes or no reply. Do you agree on the probably reason why an ex unfriends you on the article Chris wrote?
Mayra
November 28, 2016 at 10:16 pm
Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me 2 Saturday’s ago. I did obviously the mistake of contacting him because he gave me no clear reason as of why, it seemed like totally out of the blue. He responded there was some flaws that were bothering him but never specified which ones. It’s pisses me off he never mentioned anything before. Nevertheless I restarted the NC again on Friday and I haven’t contacted him since. This was a long distance relationship we had been on for 2.5 years. I visited him every month on his time off (he is a doctor) since his schedule was nuts. We used to go to bed together on skype and wake up together, so my heart tells me there was love. Anyways, regarding this specific post, I was never very active on facebook, because I am not a real social media fan but since is a long distance relationship I think is the only connection we still have as he never unfriended me. Can I use the tips here and become more media active? He wouldn’t think is kinda off that I all of a sudden became so active. Also, he liked my new profile pic this morning, I guess the NC rule is ignore ignore until the 30 days have passed. Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 29, 2016 at 7:02 pm
Hi Mayra,
yes, you should definitely use the tips here.. And yes, you should ignore him all all throughout nc
Olivia
November 2, 2016 at 11:32 am
What to do if I “Unintentionally acts so desperate that she totally turns her man off” ??
and i rarely use facebook – not really into socializing. i have even deactivated when he posted a picture of him and his new girl. and we’re not even friends. but his new gf tried adding me up on fb. so what next? 😀
this is the same Olivia who posted on https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/lets-find-out-if-your-exes-rebound-relationship-will-fail/
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 3, 2016 at 2:38 pm
Hi Olivia,
it’s nit real love if he keeps cheating on you.. Correct me if I’m wrong,.he had girlfriends when you were just three months in right? And now, you’ve broken up, he moves in with another girl..
for me, you should move on but if you cant, you should at least do 45 days no contact..Heal, reflect and improve yourself
Atom
October 30, 2016 at 3:26 pm
Not sure if it worked on mobile so posting again…
Hi, I’m on day 21 of no contact and my ex liked my latest post, and he posted something too (he has not posted anything since he broke up and had told his friends that he’s staying off facebook). He is French and most of his friends are French but he posted in English, so I’m guessing he wanted me to see it. He broke up with me because he said he couldn’t deal with a ldr as he has a lot going on in his life right now, but I think there’s more internal issues that I won’t go into. Anyway, I wanted to follow the 30 day no contact as suggested by PRO but just wondering if this is a good time to reach out since it’s been 21 days already?
Atom
January 8, 2017 at 2:04 pm
Hi,
This is Atom here from this thread (I think):
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-using-facebook-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/comment-page-5/#comment-90394
I’m hitting a brick wall as my ex and I have been texting sporadically and there have been some flirty messages. I wanted to take it slow because he is still in the same situation as he was before. I actually planned to visit (haven’t told him yet), but he has been less responsive for the last week and this weekend he didn’t respond (we have been texting on weekends since we got back in touch). I don’t know if anything happened but I don’t want to reach out and ask and sound needy. What should I do? I wonder if he is seeing someone but I don’t think I can ask that question.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 8, 2017 at 10:06 pm
rest for 5 days yo a week before trying again..
Atom
November 28, 2016 at 4:05 pm
Hi Amor, it’s 3 weeks in and I’m finding it hard to end on cliffhangers, I still try to end conversations first as much as I can, but it is actually not easy because we have a 7 hour time difference. I can do that on weekends but on weekdays sometimes it would take hours before he would respond because of the time difference, and when he does respond while I’m sleeping then of course I won’t be responding until the next day… I do notice that when I skip a day or two of texting he would initiate more. Because of the time difference many times during the week we can just text back and forth a couple times until one of us has to go anyway, but he does respond during breaks if I sent the last text. Don’t know what to make of that…
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 29, 2016 at 1:44 pm
Then whenever he initiates, be interested in his topic or start a topic relating to that
Atom
November 20, 2016 at 2:20 pm
Hi Amor, so me and my ex have been texting sporadically since I reached out, but I did notice that I have been the one initiating most of the time. I tried to end conversations first and have succeeded a few times. I also managed to not text for a day or two. It’s been 2 weeks since we have been texting on and off, and I tried to insert some “good memories text” but he didn’t seem too excited about those. Maybe it still hurts for him to think about the past? I noticed he also did a bit of mirroring (like saying that he did similar stuff as I did / sending me cat pics after I send mine), but I feel like it’s still going to take some time because he’s not a very confident person to start with. I guess I’m still making progress but I do feel a bit stuck… more patience I guess?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 22, 2016 at 8:45 pm
Yeah,just remember to maintain your routine too and to end the texts yourself and in cliffhanger as much as you can
Atom
November 15, 2016 at 4:47 pm
It’s been a week since we started texting, but I took breaks in between, and he did too. I feel like it’s going to take a while to establish rapport as I can tell he is still not feeling so great about himself, so I’m just trying to be friendly now most of the time, but I do try and end conversations before he does. And yes I am still maintaining those activities that I’ve been doing since NC and he’s been liking those posts. It’s just a bit frustrating sometimes when he liked my posts but takes time to respond to my messages (is he doing the same thing? LOL)
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 9:57 pm
Oh, it’s just been a week. Well, that’s common. It really takes time to build rapport.
Atom
November 13, 2016 at 4:25 pm
Hi Amor,
I think I’m making some progress after NC, the first contact message was good and he responded really quickly and positively. But since then there have been some days where he would just like my posts – and almost everything I post (and I’m totally doing that thing where I show that I’m having a good time in my posts), but then he would take a long time to respond to my messages (I use FB messenger so am pretty sure he saw those). How do I deal with that? And how do I stop messaging on the days I’m supposed to not text when he can see that I have seen his messages on fb?
Thanks, Atom
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 3:51 pm
it’s ok to leave his messages on seen in the days that you’re not supposed to text unless it’s an emergency. And did you maintain the activities that you started during nc? How many days have you been texting now?
Atom
November 2, 2016 at 9:47 am
Hi Amor, so he commented on one of the recent pics of Halloween that I posted on fb, I’m still a week away from the 30 days but was just wondering if I could “like” that comment after a day or so? I’m usually pretty quick at liking stuff and I’m always online so I wonder if it would make me look like I’m still mad at him or something if I don’t like his comment?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 3, 2016 at 2:39 pm
hmm actually liking is not allowed too but if you meant after nc, that’s ok.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 31, 2016 at 10:47 pm
Hi Atom,
I think it would be safer to finish the 30 days.. try it.. it’s just a week away. if he’s messaging you in a way through the post, don’t give in too easily.
Gabby
October 29, 2016 at 4:26 pm
My ex said that he’s realised that he will never love me, although actions speak louder than words and some of our memories are things that only someone with feelings would ever do really. Midnight bed time stories, secret places in the city. I miss him enormously and our biggest problem was always trust, shall I go ahead with no contact eventhough he doesn’t seem to care whether I speak or I don’t ( we are at the same uni and see each other almost daily) or should I tell him sincerely how I feel, because what he s always wanted from me is the truth.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 31, 2016 at 8:19 pm
Hi Gabby,
when and why did you break up? Well, you’re not really lying if you do nc.. you’re just not voicing out what you feel and besides, would it really help you if you confess or would it just put you in the chaser position?
Kaitlin
October 23, 2016 at 2:24 am
Good Evening, Me and my Ex Bf broke up because of the fact he still likes me but lost the connection. I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t have a dad because of some things. Apparently he kept getting these thoughts that he was gonna hurt me and become like his dad if he kept our relationship. Do you have any advice on how to get him back? Should I do no contact?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 24, 2016 at 7:32 pm
Hi Kaitlin,
how old are you both? how long were you together and when did you break up? You cant control him, you can only control yourself.. So, do you want to try the no contact rule?
Laurence Page
October 15, 2016 at 1:48 pm
I’m 23 male and my boyfriend is 18 male.. Mature for his age though. We were in a Long distance relationship. (1.45hour drive) We saw eachother every 2 weeks minimum. I always went to him because i drive. My boyfriend told me out of the blue 4 dayas ago after being nice to me all week, after I send him a text annoyed at him for ignoring my texts and basically telling him if he doesnt want to be with me then dont be with me. He sent a long message back basically saying he has had doubts over the last 3 weeks and think we should break it off. (I was meant to be seeing him during those weeks but he had an awful flu so i couldnt). I called him we both cried, he said he doesnt feel the same way. Which was confusing. I was in shock, crying, text him a million messages that night. couldnt sleep, drove down to him the next morning with flowers, poured my heart out to him. We both cried, he was shaking and crying, he said he doesnt feel the same, doesnt want to lead me on and cant be committed. I only started the NC rule yesterday.
My question is, do i post anything on social media? showing im happy? or out? do i leave it for a week? we unfollowed eachother on instagram and i think on snapchat, but we are friends on facebook.
Laurence Page
October 15, 2016 at 1:50 pm
ofcourse at the moment im not happy. I’m lost and confused.
I think he still has feelings for me otherwise why would he be so upset at the moment. Its confusing because we facetimed every night. We were both happy. I wanst at the end, because every other day he would ignore me. but i think its my fault for being needy…
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 16, 2016 at 5:16 pm
Hi Laurence,
You can start posting after the first week.. you didn’t say how long was your relationship but I think you should do at least 30 days.. Be active in healing and improving yourself.. If you were needy then he has to see that you have your own life..
Anna
October 8, 2016 at 6:13 am
My ex broke off with me saying that he want to be alone. I did the no contact period and it has been a month or so. During NCP he unfriended me on social media, and did no attempt to contact me, also I found out that he went back for his ex girlfriend, they are not back together though, however I see they their comments on a post on Instagram and seems really fishy. I’d say they would be back together soon. This is the second time my ex broke up with me, and he always runs back for his ex, despite this time he stated strongly that even in the end it doesn’t work out for us, he will not go back for his ex and said he must go on with his life without her. What should I do now? Should I do first contact, or should I wait a bit more. Should I unfriend him on social media as well? Please help me out here thanks so much!
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 3:16 pm
Hi Anna,
nope, don’t unfriend him.. approach like a normal first text after the no contact period.. because if you mentioned anything about him talking to his ex, you would look like you’re stalking his social media profile.
Alicja
October 7, 2016 at 1:24 am
Hi , what about giving ”likes” under ex posts?? Can I during NoContact period liking something he put on his Fb Wall – I mean for exemple song Which I really like to listen ( and for sure he knos about it ) and in ”normal situation” I would give ”like” to this ..?? Thanks for response
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 7, 2016 at 4:04 pm
Hi Alicja,
if he said he doesn’t love you anymore, that more probably means he lost desire. There’s not guarantee that the no contact rule will work but it would be better if you try it. So, that you won’t look like you’re chasing him and that you start to heal and improve yourself. That means you can’t like his posts too. Just focus in improving yourself.. be active in posting in social media but don’t stalk his account.
Natalie
September 29, 2016 at 11:46 pm
Just curious… Article talks about how to get your ex back with Facebook…. What if he deleted you as a friend? How would I use Facebook to get him back? Should I change my privacy settings?
Also if a couple of his friends and family (not all) deleted me as a fb friend, does that mean my chances aren’t very good at getting him back?
I’m obeying the no contact for the last week!
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 1, 2016 at 1:53 pm
Hi Natalie,
Just keep your posts public.. Unfriending you doesn’t mean he won’t check it anymore. And that’s a more common move for him to take down the pics, because they are affecting him. So just focus in improving yourself.
K4567
September 28, 2016 at 11:24 pm
My ex broke up with me a couple months ago, long story short, I was smack dab in the middle of no contact, 14 days going strong. The last time we had talked, I had told him I couldn’t sleep with him anymore (bad decision on my part to do so in the first place, I know). He acted cool and calm about it. So on the 14th day, he goes out of his way to send me a random message to say something short and hurtful to me. Out of anger, I responded. To which of course he falls back on “I was joking, don’t freak out for nothing”, although this isnt the first time this has happened since our break up. I let it go, and apologized for freaking out, as I have been dealing with a lot lately and in the moment wondered if I had been irrational. A couple days went by, and the more I thought about it, the more angry I became. And I deleted him from facebook as a result, which I honestly don’t regret. I initially wanted him back, but, I can not make sense of how he has been. Why would he go out of his way to say something hurtful to me, and after two weeks of not speaking? He’s the one who dumped me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 30, 2016 at 5:53 pm
Hi K4567,
I’m not sure.. But what did he say to you?
Stephanie
September 24, 2016 at 6:10 pm
Hi
I was dating a guy for a month but we kept arguing over petty things and he broke up with me last week. I really like him a lot and I know this can work given another chance. We are still friends on social media but we haven’t texted each other in about a week. What should I do? I really want to get back with him
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 25, 2016 at 9:30 am
Hi Stephanie,
do you want to try what’s advised above? And if you are going to do the no contact rule, you can just do 21 days.
jane
September 7, 2016 at 8:31 am
Hi. unfortunately when I was mad at him I unfriended him on facebook but I know he will check me sometimes and I mad my instagram profile public so he can check my pictures. however I wanted to unfriend him because I had the urge to check him often
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 8, 2016 at 8:29 am
Hi Jane,
If that’s what he really helps you stop checking him, go ahead.
Jane
July 20, 2016 at 10:49 am
Hello! I was 7 mos. pregnant when my x left for his job abroad. Despite of the distance difference, we managed to have a good relationship. However, after a week of giving birth last feb, his mom and I had a big fight and I was so hurt that he didn’t understand me and why he didn’t defended me and our baby when it’s obvious that his mom was the one who was at fault. Out of my emotion, I told him things that had hurt him and his ego. After that fight, he changed into someone whom I didn’t expect he could be. He became very cold to me, he stopped being sweet, caring and everything.. he stop calling me the way he used to call me and everytime I tell I love him or i miss him.. i got no response. I failed to handle his new treatment so we always fight. I tried hard to fix everything, I even begged because I want us to go back to the old us, but things became worst. We’re supposed to get married next year, but he changed his mind. 10 days ago, i found out he has a gf there. It was very painful because I never thought he could do it. Weve been together for 3 years and we have a baby, and were supposed to get married. After finding out that he cheated on me, I just told him that I was hurt because I love him so much, and if he’s happy with her than with me and our baby, I’m letting him go.
After that, I logged out from fb and never contacted him. He didnt tried to contact me too. I really dont know what to do. I really want him back. I want to give my baby a complete family. But how can I do it? He have a new gf. Should I go back to facebook?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 21, 2016 at 4:12 pm
Hi Jane,
nope, now is not the right time to go back to facebook… continue in no contact
Angela
July 11, 2016 at 7:05 pm
So here’s my question- My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago – I tried to break up with him first (or i wanted to take a break up because my life is kinda complicated and I needed to focus on other things – things which he’s well aware of) Then he got angry and hung out with a girl without us completely breaking up. It was not cool. We had a huge fight. Afterwards he tried calling me and messaged me (not immediately). I replied once then I got angry at myself and blocked him from my phone and messaging. For 2 months there was no contact between us and then he suddenly tried to follow my instagram account (i didn’t accept) and liked one of my pics on fb. I made no move whatsoever. I know that he’s hanging out with this girl though(she’s like 15 years younger by the way) Anyways he just unfriended me and 5 of my friends on fb. Not sure what to do. We had a great connection and I loved him(we were together for a year) I feel like he got mad and did it impulsively. Not sure what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 12, 2016 at 1:51 pm
Hi Angela,
it can be just his way to get your attention..have you started being active in imoroving yourself?
Impulsive
July 4, 2016 at 9:48 pm
Hi, just a quick question regarding facebook.
As soon as the fight was over, I blocked him which also unfriends.
Sending a friend request seems like contact to me. Do I still send it,
or hope that he sends one to me? and if he does and I say yes, isn’t that like
responding? I’ve already unblocked him, I did that
the same day I blocked him. I’m not far into the NC, only a couple/few days.
Also, what about likes? I assume liking his stuff is out, but what about liking
stuff he’s liked? BTW, temporary LDR.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 5, 2016 at 5:29 am
Hi impulsive,
yep, liking and sending requests should be after nc