The Definitive Guide To Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

779 thoughts on “Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Marianne

March 7, 2016 at 5:11 pm

Hi Chris, I just want to ask if there’s still a chance to get my LDR ex-bf back. We broke up yesterday and the reason was I’m in the Philippines and he’s in Australia. He is american and trying to renew his visa in Australiabut it’s impossible to do so he might move to New Zealand. While I’m going to America soon for a 1 year internship. It’s very too hard for us to be separated in a long time but we still love each other and there’s no other way but to broke up. I feel really sad. Im still hoping to be with him but its quite impossible and I dont think he still want to even though he still love me 🙁 I dont know what to do now. Help me Chris 🙁 please

Marianne

March 7, 2016 at 5:14 pm

PS. He cant go back to america because he doesnt want to live there and his parents now is living in australia. They cant sponsor him a visa because he is 24 years old now
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 8, 2016 at 3:22 pm

Hi Marianne,

We’ve had ldr cases that got their ex back, so yes, it’s possible..But it is going to be hard.. especially with your case.. If ever you get back woth each other, how would you see each other?

Nick Antinarella

March 3, 2016 at 5:00 am

I was in a LDR with a woman for 2.5 yrs. We had our ups and downs but saw each other every few months for a week at a time and two weeks during Christmas holidays as well as 6 weeks in the Summer (she works in education). I know the cards were stacked against us from the start; she’s in Vancouver and I’m in Atlanta. But I’m a romantic and we always talked about a future together; marriage, kids, a happy life. We had our differences but we worked through them and I chalked them up to the distance. She broke it off a week ago and I was devastated. I unfriended her on FB b/c I couldn’t take the pain of seeing her day in and day out. Right before she made her Instagram page private, and removed photos of me on her page, she “liked” a #tbt post of us during Christmas where I professed how lucky I was. I have no idea what to make of it. I know she can’t see anything on my page b/c it’s pretty much on lock down but I saw a pic that I wanted to share publicly, in hopes she’d see it that says, “Find someone who knows you aren’t perfect but treats you as if you are”. I suppose I’m looking for some sort of reaction from her but I have no idea what it’d do. We’ve cut off all communication with each other and she’s removed me from all social media including Pintrest and Tumbler. I want her back but I do not want to call (it’s been a week) b/c I don’t want to come across as desperate. Thoughts on posting that pic on my FB page?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2016 at 1:38 pm

Hi Nick,

that’s fine.. but right now focus on you first, even if you’re not doing nc, since she’s not talking to you, you should focus more with yourself, so that whatever happens, you’ll be prepared

Sophie

January 26, 2016 at 11:54 pm

Hi, my boyfriend and I were seeing each other for 3 years but he has constantly been making excuses as to why he doesn’t want s relationship with me. I started college in September and st the time we were not together as he told me he didn’t love me and o drunk too much and ended up sleeping with someone else. We got together at Christmas and I didn’t tell him bevause we were not a “thing” when it happened. He recently found out and broke up with me, says he will never trust me or never wants a relationship with me again… I love him and can’t cope with the thought of losing him:( I’m trying the no contact rule but am scared he still won’t want me back,
do you think he’s just angry?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 27, 2016 at 12:33 pm

HI Sophie,
You and your boyfriend of 3 years broke because he said he didn’t love you anymore? So, in the first place, it’s not what you did it’s because he didn’t feel the same anymore, and your mistake now is a good excuse for him to validate the break up.. Okay.. first, forgive yourself but also know if you really want to get back with him, this is going to be a longer process.
Have you taken a look at this posts? Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)

EBR 020- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated

Anonymous

January 13, 2016 at 6:29 pm

What should you do if your ex unfriendrd you during the NC?

Jennifer Seiter

January 13, 2016 at 8:57 pm

Hi,

This is Jennifer (Chris’ wife) you should definitely not friend him or react in anyway that will give him an indication that you are hung up on him unfriending you. Think of it this way. If you follow Chris’ advice he will probably friend you back at some point.

He could be just doing it to get a reaction out of you as well.

Sophie

January 5, 2016 at 3:25 pm

Chris would love to see a feature on very stubborn ex’s who don’t contact during NC/post NC but instead send veiled “smoke signals” via social media– facebook, snapchat’s my story, twitter etc. The signals are vague enough such that I have no idea if they’re for me or for some new girl, to incite jealousy or to entice someone else.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 17, 2016 at 9:43 am

Hi Sophie,

Will this do? Decoding the mixed signals from your ex boyfriend

Jen

December 30, 2015 at 8:40 pm

So I’ve been dating this guy for a little over 2 months. Everything was going great and then when he left for 3 weeks for vacation over the holidays. I got needy. I’ll admit that. Then I got stupid drunk and blew up his phone one night and sent him a text that I didn’t want to see him anymore because he doesn’t try and stay in contact with me. Next day he snapchats his cat. He never snaps anything. All of a fucking sudden. His family has 3 cats. Tell me why he snaps the one I actually like. So at the end of that day I texted ooops I was drunk my mistake. He hasn’t texted back anything. So the next day on christmas I text merry christmas. He doesn’t text back. So, I stopped trying. We have each other on snapchat. And wow he fucking checks my snapchat stories every dam day. What does he want from me? Should I still keep updating my snapchat? I skipped a day yesterday, debating updating it often. During no contact do you want to update your social media? He pretty much looks at mines everyday. Before that he barley used snapchat. So we’ve been in no contact for 5 days now. I’m starting to forget him and don’t have the urge to contact him anymore. I wonder if he feels the same. Guess were just getting over each other.
xlover

December 2, 2015 at 8:12 pm

I went for a final meet up with my ex and we talked about what went wrong and why we broke up and at the end she said we cant be together anymore and she got a new boy friend. then in the night she texted me saying that im really sorry for breaking the promises to you and next day she adds me on Facebook and likes my pictures. Its just hard for me to understand whats happening here. we broke up 9 months ago.
lola

December 1, 2015 at 1:57 pm

hi Chris,
we just got engaged , he didn t call me , so I called him blaming of the way he act the day of the engagement
he was stranger for me like if I don t met him before. we were together for nine years , I love him so much , he was my first love , he moved to work in an other country for three years, we were talking every day and every night .I missed him I get depressed
I told him that I m not ok without him I stoped my life waiting for him , I told him thatt we have to get married and make a family
he just said that he is not ready , he wants to be with me but thing are not simple like I SAID . but after the engagement he stop calling me I got angry ,I called him and he text me that he can t talk to me , I was trying to contact him for 3 weeks but he said that he wont talk to anybody he is desappointed from life every thing is a lie. he go back to his work without telling me and he just vanish.
his mom called amd told me that her son don t want me any more.
when I asked him he told me that his mom can t say that….

he just leave me
Keyshan

November 7, 2015 at 8:05 pm

I blocked my ex in Facebook for the meantime. Though I do show some of my pictures public.
amy

November 2, 2015 at 11:16 pm

Hey there. I have a question, my ex ended things due to long distance – but he still might move here next year – so there’s a part of me that always thought the door was left open. We were really connected, never fought and he talked about the future constantly. I think the pressure just got to him. He seemed very upset with the breakup, said it was bad timing and that he didn’t want to break up but he couldn’t handle any relationship at this at this point in his life (he has a lot going on and is always traveling all over the world and is never in one place long). It was a hard but an amicable split and he made it sound like he wanted to be friends down the line. I always thought him to be a genuine guy. I told him I understood and wished him the best.

Did the no contact thing – then after about 3 weeks he was on my FB the na lot, liking a bunch of irrelevant things to him. Well I liked something back and he reached out a week later to say hi – which was about 6 weeks after the break up. I knew he was going to be in town so I casually suggested that if he was free, it might be fun to catch up. He replied and was like maybe next week. Well I didn’t respond because I didn’t get a strong yes and I didn’t want to push him. I figured I would put the ball in his court. I never heard from him, but he was still liking my FB posts a few days later, so I figured I’d just give him time. Well later a friend posted a picture of us out with a group of people at a party – there were a lot of guys at this party and it wasn’t a sloppy / slutty photo, just a group but there were a lot of good looking men and I can see how he’d be jealous. The next day, he let a female friend post a pic of him and then an hour later blocked me. We’re still “friends” but he must’ve put me on a restricted list. I am SO CONFUSED. What did I do wrong? Is this out of jealousy and retaliation? Or did he not want me to see pics of him with other women and get the wrong idea (i know this was a friend). Supposedly he was always super sensitive about my feelings and didn’t want to hurt me. Or did he decide he doesn’t want me in his life at all afterall but is too chicken to unfriend me and thought I wouldnt’ notice if he just restricted me? It’s so sudden and strange – I really didn’t think I came on too strong and I was never a jealous GF and never was all over his FB so what gives? He can still see my page, so is he trying to send a message or just be secretive? Does he really think I’d not notice? It’s really hurtful, sudden and feels rather childish. I thought given his actions we were on friendly terms and now I have NO idea what to do – if this was a temporary knee jerk reaction and now he’s trying to control what I see either for my feelings or his, or what??? I know he’s a sensitive guy – and he’s never blocked exes before (still has exes on his FB that aren’t blocked) so why me?!??! I didn’t even dump him!

Please advise on what to do and if this is a really really bad sign and he’s passive aggressively shoving me out of his life or if I should ride this out since he may also be super confused. I want to ask him what gives or defriend him out of anger and hurt, like “I know what you’re doing” but both those seem childish and would validate his reasoning for restricting me.

Is there any chance he’ll come around and maybe he’s just processing his feelings or is this like an actual slam in the face door shut and I should turn around and never look back? Why reach out and like my posts if he really wanted nothing to do with me?
Lana

October 27, 2015 at 12:43 am

hi Chris!my boyfriend broke up with me two months ago we’ve been together for a year we did love each other a lot,we kind of had an on/off relationship because of my trust issues in the past,and i lied to him about not kissing a friend of him that i was dating two years before him ,but it was just one kiss i thought it didnt matter much,i told him the truth after we finally broke up because he keep asking me about it,i begged him for 3 weeks and then stoped and i contacted him after two weeks of not contacting him and the chat was funn we planed seeing each other after some days but didnt happen cuz he was busy with ”work”i just played it cool going with the flow he keeps liking my stuff on my facebook since the break up but since he doesnt want to see me guess that doesnt mean much,should i apply no contact is it too late to work its been 2 months?do you think he would be able to trust me after such a stupid lie ?
caliitch

October 7, 2015 at 8:31 pm

Its been 7 months no contact – hung up on my ex when we were breaking up. He never attempted to contact me and I never heard from him again. I never contacted him either. We are facebook friends. He has liked a couple of my posts over the 3 months….THATS IT. Looks like it over…
Em

October 6, 2015 at 10:37 pm

Hi Chris, he broke up for over a week now and I’m just two days into the NC and I’ve been using facebook frequently and i don’t go out frequently. I deleted the not so good pictures of me, updated my profile picture and cover photo, added some photos to facebook and I also deleted some pictures from instagram. I want to know if I’m going with the NC right or if I should get off all social medias for a month? It was a LDR and the social media was the only means of communication.
T

September 20, 2015 at 8:29 pm

Hi Chris, before me & my ex got into a serious relationship we had fights and without noticing i did the NC and texted him 32 days later & he begged me to be to be in a real relationship with me. We dated for 6 months & now he broke up because he ”lost attraction”. 6 months ago he was liking all my pics and posts during my NC period, blowing my notifications up, but now he’s not doing it at all & isn’t trying to make jealous. is that a sign that he completly lost interest ? what does it mean ? im on my 10 days of NC..
Anonymous

September 1, 2015 at 5:40 pm

Hi, I was with someone for about 5 months. Things were really, really great, but I am a very insecure person, and tend to question a lot, so that caused some problems down the road. He broke up with me and then wanted to talk because he didn’t want to throw it all away. We had a very long talk and then he needed space, which I gave him. A week later, I received a very long email saying that he can’t commit 100% to a relationship right now and explained all his feelings about what is going on with his family life and work. He said such wonderful, nice things about me and said how he still feels us even though we had some rough times. Said he truly loved me and is not asking me to wait for him, nor expects it, but hopes in the future we can continue our relationship. That is the short story of it. Well, we work together unfortunately. It has been 18 days of NC. When I do see him at work, it is just a hi (which kills me, because I feel he just is moving on and doesn’t care). I will say though, I have been out with friends and doing fun things as much as I can and he tends to like every picture of me on FB. On top of that, he hasn’t changed his status yet either. But he hasn’t texted, emailed or anything like that. Is he just stringing me along? Or is there something more to this and I just have to be patient?

Anonymous

September 11, 2015 at 4:19 pm

Hi, I know you must be swamped with questions, but I really feel at a loss and would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you!

Nora

August 19, 2015 at 7:21 pm

Hello, Chris, I went into the NC 19 days ago, but I just found out that he has been logging into my facebook acc even though I changed the password a long time ago. I think that the purpose of the NC is for him not to know anything of me and have a chance to miss me, but with this he just messed up my NC time. I will have my private conversations with friends somewhere else. He deleted a lot of our pictures and taggs in his acc., so I did the same for him in mine, maybe it will make him feel better. Now I don’t know if to pretend like I don’t know about him getting into my account or just stop using it. Should I keep on posting my pictures or just disappear completely? He is been telling everyone that we are not getting back together. I respect his decision, but I don’t know if he is trying to convince the other people or himself of what he says.
sri

August 15, 2015 at 6:18 pm

I am doing the no contact rule and currently not using facebook so much
I have decided to lose some weight and then upload a pic of new hot me after a month..is it ok if i do that?

Chris Seiter

August 16, 2015 at 11:31 pm

That is perfect!!

onlyoneme

August 13, 2015 at 10:01 pm

So. I was seeing a guy for a min, great conversation went on a few dates. was talking consistently for several weeks. Then all of a sudden nothing.. However, He has not deleted me from FB. I did not peg him as a disappear with out a word type of guy, he knows I am a no BS person that prefers truth over BS. I have to say I am a bit taken back by this one. I totally would understand if he decided he was not interested. but am worried if I may have said something to rub him the wrong way.. I would just like to know why the disappearing act. What do you suggest?

Chris Seiter

August 14, 2015 at 4:40 am

It could be a lot of things. How long did you say you were dating? a couple of weeks?

Kelsey

August 11, 2015 at 1:15 am

Please help Chris,

My boyfriend and I of 5 1/2 years just broke up on August 5th. What I thought was going to be a normal talk turned into a blindside of him telling me that he has been having on and off feelings towards me for the past couple of months. We’re both 24… We were living together for over a year with two male roommates who are single. I didn’t have a job, I have terrible anxiety so I didn’t go out as often as he would have liked with him but he understood that I had anxiety and no medication for it. We were together constantly, whenever he came home, I was there waiting. I can see why he said the fire in our relationship felt like it had died out. We never fought, it seemed like it was a relationship too good to be true honestly, but when he told me how he left, I asked why he didn’t bring it up sooner so we could have tried to work it out. He said he didn’t know, he thought the feelings would just go away on their own but they didn’t. He said he felt confused and maybe we just needed a break because he loves me and cares about me. He also said though that he didn’t want to dangle a rope in my face and give me false hopes that things will work out if we take a break. He asked what I thought about it, and I told him we should just break up, though of course that wasn’t what I wanted but I told him, if we took a break it would be like dangling the rope in my face, getting my hopes up and he agreed and I could tell he was breaking on the inside like I was, we were both crying and hurt.

He took me home that night, the car ride was silent. When he went to leave, he pulled me in for a hug with tears in his eyes he told me to be strong and call him for anything if I needed him. He was just a phone call away. The night was hard, and the next day was no better with my mom and her roommate whispering different things in my ear. I ended up texting him and this is what he said…

“I know you didn’t Kels, it’s okay. I will do my best to explain. First off, I do love and care about you, and that feeling will never go away. I want you to be happy and I want you to be successful and just live. I know I have a hard time explaining my emotions sometimes. To put in bluntly I think I’ve lost the fire to our relationship. I’ve fallen out of love. And I tried to play it off like everything was okay, and I kept telling myself that this feeling would go away, but it didn’t. I feel like I am going down a path you are not. I know relationships are all about 2 people working through problems but I just don’t think this one can be worked through right now. I said this yesterday and I’ll say it again, I believe if people are meant to be together they will be together no matter the adversity they go through. I want to believe in that so badly, but I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I need you to try and move on, be happy, find what you need, and I will try and do the same. But don’t think for a second I won’t be thinking about you or wondering how you are doing. I will always be here for you, and I hope that one day we can maybe rekindle something.”

He proceeded to say after I said a few things…

“It wasn’t bad Kels, those 5 years were great. If you were in my shoes it would be easier for you to understand. You love me, and you were blindsided. You don’t feel what I feel. It’s so hard for me to explain what’s going on in my head right now. I’m just so fucked up.”

I told him after this message that he owed me something… Anything he could tell me to help me understand what he was thinking or why it all just sudden had to be this way without even giving me a chance to try and work things out.

“I don’t think I’m in love with you anymore Kels. I wish we could fix things right now but I just can’t. I’m sorry I wasn’t more upfront with you, these feelings come and go and this one was just overwhelming. I couldn’t hold it in. It’s wouldn’t have been fair to you. I wish you nothing but the best, you know I care about you. Don’t think I hate you or never want to speak to you again or anything. I just need some time. I hope that everything works out in the end and I get to see you again. I know I keep saying this but take care of yourself. You don’t deserve to be sad and I feel horrible for putting you in this spot. I’ll never forgive myself.”

Of course at this point my heart was completely shattered, the love of my life just ended things without giving me a chance to try and even work things out. So I told him I was sorry too… Sorry I couldn’t be the person he needed the most in our relationship. I told him I loved him and if his feelings ever change, I’m just a message or call away.

“Stop. Please don’t apologize to me. You have nothing to apologize for. I really hope all this works out, I really do. One day I hope you can forgive me. I am just a message or phone call away. Maybe I can get my shit figured out eventually. I’m not worried about any of that stuff right now. I know you’ll take care of all that when you can. Goodbye Kelsey, I hope I talk to you again. I know I’m just throwing away 5 years, and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done or had to do. They don’t teach you how to do this stuff. How to explain to someone just what went wrong. I really need you to be strong, for me. I owe you so much more than this, and one day I hope to make it up to you. Until then, take care sweetheart.”

We ended on a good note I would hope. But of course I had my mother talking in my ear telling me how things just didn’t seem right with her. He seemed too cold for her liking and all this stuff. So, the next day I message him asking if I can call him, I wanted to talk. He messaged me back saying, call me. Before we talked, I asked him straight out if another woman was involved, he seemed a little upset because he had assured me before there was no one else involved but said, I swear there is no other woman Kelsey. With that I proceeded to tell him how I felt about the situation, telling him what I planned to do to fix myself during the no contact we agreed upon. He told me how the whole car ride back he was crying nonstop, he felt horrible and when he got home and saw the promise ring he got me sitting on his TV stand, if devastated him, to know he broke so many promises that he had made with me with that ring. He said he wanted space and time to think and try to get his stuff together, so we both agreed to no contact. It would give us both time to heal and think about us. I asked him for one little favor before we hung up, and that was to at least give us some thought. Don’t let others sway your mind and stray you from thinking for yourself if you truly want this to be over or not. He promised he would give it thought and sounded sincere. We said our goodbyes and that we will talk in a month or so. With that we ended the call and so far we’ve had no contact since then.

What I want to know is… Could the no contact rule still work in this type of situation? Is there any chance that I can get him back? Our families loved us together, as well as our friends. I loved us together… I’m not planning on breaking the no contact rule, because that is what he wanted. But could he end up breaking it himself even though he said those things? Where as Facebook goes, he used to like and comment a lot of our friends stuff, but since we broke up he hasn’t done anything but add this girl he knew I hated because she almost cost our relationship 3 times by texting him flirty messages. He gets off Facebook the moment I get on… What’s up with this weird behavior? Sorry for this long message…
Kelsey

August 9, 2015 at 7:34 pm

Hello,
My name is Kelsey and I just have a few questions. First, my ex and I just recently broke up on August 5th, we had been together 5 1/2 years. We’re both 24 now. We didn’t end thing on a bad note, our relationship would seem perfect to anyone watching us, we never really fought, maybe nit picked about a few things here and there but nothing serious. Anyways, to put it short he said he still loves and cares about me, but he said he lost his feelings for me, the flame in our relationship died… That sort of stuff. Of course I was heartbroken and as of the 7th we had an agreed no contact going and we plan to be like this for a month or so just to help us both heal and get our lives together as he stated. I’m just curious if the no contact rule can still help me here even if we both agreed to no contact? And just yesterday he added a girl he knows that I don’t like, to his friends list, is this some form of him trying to tell me something like spite me? or him just trying to talk to an old friend again now that we’re not dating?

The reason why this bugs me, is because the girl he added nearly made us break up multiple times in the past. The first time I caught him texting her I didn’t think anything of it, we were in our second year of the relationship and they worked together, no big deal. However, when he went to the bathroom and left his phone in the room it lit up, I picked it up maybe thinking it was his mom or something but come to find out it was the girl telling him. “I hate being sick, you should come over and make me some soup ;)” it of course made me angry that this girl was flirting with a guy she knew was in a relationship. I opened his phone and read over their previous conversations leading up to the text and he had flirted a bit back with her as well. When he came out of the bathroom I was in tears and confronted him about it. He apologized claiming he didn’t realize he was flirting, he just thought he was being nice and outgoing like usual. He said he would stop texting her seeing as how it hurt me so bad.
A year passed and once again, I caught him texting her, I asked him straight out why he would go behind my back and text her again knowing how it made me feel. He once again apologized saying they were just friends and it really shouldn’t be a big deal. But once again after talking it through, he erased her number and stopped talking to her again.
Last year… I found out he was talking to her again… I confronted him, asked him this time if he was positive he didn’t have feelings for the girl because it was obviously too hard for him to stop messaging her. He claimed he didn’t, they are just really good friends and he enjoys talking to her, and that he doesn’t even talk to her all that much, that he rarely messaged her back. I told him it hurt me because he promised he would stop messaging her twice and he was once again breaking his promise. I asked him why would he text he if he knew it would upset me? He said he didn’t know, he didn’t know what he was thinking. They are just friends and it’s hard to just stop texting someone you’re friends with. After some more talking, he deleted her number, erased her even from Facebook and it was done. They didn’t have anymore contact.
So you see why I’m a bit upset about him adding her back as a friend on Facebook? It’s like our relationship meant nothing to him… I’m just confused and hurt to be honest and don’t know what to think of it. Maybe I’m just thinking too much into it.

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