The Definitive Guide To Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

779 thoughts on “Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Coz

April 28, 2014 at 1:26 am

Regarding the no-contact part, I use a messaging app (WhatsApp) to speak to most of my friends, and ex boyfriend. I don’t want to block him on it because then I won’t ever see any texts he sent to me even if/when I unblock him. However, the app shows a timestamp of the last time I looked at the app, not just his conversation, so he’ll be able to see that I am just ignoring his messages. What do you think the best thing to do here is?

Another question – when beginning the no-contact, should I let him know that I don’t want to talk anymore, or just randomly stop speaking to him?

Thank you!!

admin

April 28, 2014 at 4:24 pm

You don’t have to block him on whatsapp… don’t worry so much about the timestamp.

lizeth

April 27, 2014 at 5:28 am

So my boyfriend (on n off) broke up with me. Normally after no contact for two weeks he wos contact me. Th is tjme he broke up wi th me because he thouvht i was cheating. Whicb i never was never have. He is actaully the only guy i have been wi th. So itried begging and everythjng n telling him i didnt cheat. And nothing. He blocked me on facebook. I made a new fb i did not contact him and he blocked me again. No contact for two weeks and he texts me”im never going to jnderstand why u cheated on me. I dont even knkw why im asking u” i replied “nothing to understand because i never cheated but if u want to keep thinking that thengo ahead i dont cafe anymlre” now i was like this because he was really mean to me and he basically made that up to have an excuse to break up. Anyway after that last text he just replied ok very good. N nothing i havent heard from him and im still blocked
Riya

April 22, 2014 at 7:47 pm

Hi Chris,

If my ex reacted in anger when I deleted him off facebook, Is this a sign he may still have feelings? I did it for my own self and emotional well-being but he took it as if I was trying to block him out for good.

admin

April 23, 2014 at 3:36 pm

Definitely a sign!

Jazzy

April 16, 2014 at 2:09 pm

Hi!

I’m in the NC .. Should I delete all the photos of us together on facebook?
Lexi

March 31, 2014 at 11:10 pm

What do you suggest would be the best way to make your ex miss you if you’ve already unfriended him (and he can only really see your profile and cover picture)?

Should my priority be a “stunning” profile picture, or should I focus on posting profile/cover pictures where I look “stunning” but that also show I have an active social life? I’m confused because you mentioned pictures with friends or other guys supposedly “lowers” your value.

admin

April 1, 2014 at 4:41 pm

Well, you could always work on him missing you if you text him.
Lexi

April 2, 2014 at 3:56 am

I’ve been No Contact since the breakup 3 weeks ago, wouldn’t texting him that I miss him at this time be a bad idea?

Also I really don’t want to add him back to Facebook, but I do want to make him regret what he’s missing. We don’t ride in the same social circles so it’s not like we have mutual friends that can give him the impression that I’ve moved on and am doing great without him. I was hoping to do that through profile/cover pictures…any thoughts?

Ashley

March 30, 2014 at 2:11 pm

Hi,

Thank you SO much for this site. I’m going on 2 1/2 weeks after the breakup with very LC but I have reinitiated the NC rule after leaving off on a positive text (which was replied to positively). We never talked about reconciliation but I also denied a friendship post BU. I’m getting friend requests from the EX’s family members and I’m not sure if I should accept or not? I’ve had zero activity on FB since the BU aside from 2 big events that I allowed myself to be tagged in. Would accepting the extended family that I met prior to the BU (there was a huge family event that happened 4 days prior to BU) be helpful or hurtful to the situation?

Thanks 🙂
evie222

March 25, 2014 at 8:51 pm

Hi what a great website. Thank you so much for all your advices.

I have a question – I met this guy on line, he’s far away, but I really liked him. I think he liked me enough too, but not as much as I was into him. I liked him way too much in fact I couldn’t help but obsessing over him .. initiating contacts all the time …. so I decided to go on non-contact. It’s been a month.

I was starting to write a creepy letter you warn us against about. I’m not going to send it to him, after I read what you wrote on other pages. It was sweet and nonconventional but I still don’t want to creep him out. I was of course going to send it as an email attachment, not as a real card or letter.

OK but the reason why I’m posting here is because i have a question related to facebook. I never met this guy. Chances are he’s forgotten about me. but I think I collected my cool so I want to contact him and see where things go – I think I can at least become his friend, just platonic, good friend.

Now the thing is that, we were using Skype to communicate. When I started NC period, I deleted his contact from my list. Which is equivalent on facebook that I unfriended him.

How should I undo this damage when I contact him?

I will have to send a “add to contacts” request – if he has not deleted me from his list, I should be getting back without a problem, but if he did, then he will receive my request and …. …

What do you think I should say?

If it was not for this problem, I was going to say, lightly, like you suggested, “I did this (x,y,z) .. and I thought of you. It made me smile” type of message. But because there is a chance that he will be receiving my contact request on Skype, should I start out with an apology? Like, “I’m sorry I removed you from contact … ”

I hope you will respond to me!!!!!!

admin

March 26, 2014 at 5:12 pm

I think you should text him first so you don’t just add him out of the blue. Build up some rapport through texting and then you can read him
evie222

March 26, 2014 at 9:03 pm

Thanks Chris for responding.

The thing is that I cannot “text” i.e. message him thru Skype unless I add him back first as a contact….. No have his phone number. I can google his university email address but I think that’s too much.

What would you do? More so, what would you say with the “add to contact” request?

Alex

March 25, 2014 at 1:15 am

Write one about twitter!

admin

March 25, 2014 at 4:24 pm

I will!!!!!!

Annie

March 24, 2014 at 4:26 pm

My ex and I were never friends on facebook, we were together for a year. When he brought up that he hadn’t added me on facebook a few months in, I replied, “I think it’s facebook and who gives a s**t. The relationship became long distance a few months ago when he finished school and moved back to his home town. Now he’s moving to another state for work. I was under the impression I would be moving with him, but he told me he wasn’t ready for that type of commitment. This was two days ago. I’ve had no contact with him since, even though I am supposed to fly down there to a graduation party in two weeks. I haven’t decided if I am going yet. The thing is, I know how much he facebook stalks his other exes/ past hookups. I’ve seen him do it, I know this method will work. I told him I was willing to stay friends, but could not talk to him for awhile right now because I was too upset. My question is, how long do I wait before adding him as a facebook friend? Or should I even do it, because it might drive me insane looking at his?
Spencer

March 17, 2014 at 11:28 pm

Hey Chris, me and my ex boyfriend broke up about 3 months ago, and I am still attached but it seems as if he isn’t and that he has “moved on”
I could be wrong, who knows.

My question is: Is it to late to start your advice, or is too late at this point?
amardeep

March 13, 2014 at 6:25 pm

Kind a boy stucked in girls matter relationships work in both way my ex gf lost all her attraction and last word was you make me feel so bad i feel like i dont make you happy i love her thats true still love her now thing is that she doesnt want relationship even i dont want to ruin things i just want her to get back to me talk to me more and fun so we can understand more i was clingy needy and at last i told her i m sorry it was my fault i need to work out on me i know she wont contact me now as she respect me little now due to my shits in such things happened like this we met on fb start having fun since i m paranoid clinically and usually my paranoidic behavior start ruining the things she started less contact me flaking everything last day she said she dont give fuck anymore i know i realised my mistake about my behaviour and am working on them as well feeling good
Liz

March 6, 2014 at 2:45 am

Hey chris. Ive been not contacting my ex for only about three days now and he has texted me seven times and facebook message me two times and has even called me once. I did not pick up the phone or text/message back. On facebook, should I click on the messages so then it says at the bottom of his message that I seen it or should I not do that? And also, if he messaged me should I post stuff while I am obviously ignoring his messages? Please help
Karen

February 17, 2014 at 2:19 am

Hey,

My boyfriend broke up with me 7 days ago, but I made the mistake of continuously bugging him for the first 4 days. I tried pleading for us to get back together but with no use.
Then, I searched on the internet methods to make him come back on his own, and I found the nc rule. I am applying it now.
He isn’t the type to go out much, it was actually a problem for us that I wanted to go in different places and he wasn’t so social, so we only went to quiet and intimate places. But since the broke up, I’ve begun going out a lot and is visible on facebook. How do you think he would take it, being that he rarely goes out with his friends and during the relationship, I didn’t get out much either?
Also, the last time we talked, he told me that if I ever try to get in touch with him again, he will block me on facebook. Do you think there’s any chance of him changing his mind after those 30 days? (He broke up with me in a nice manner, we didn’t fight, he just said that he wants to be alone. We had a very intense relationship and before the break up, he wanted a pause. During that 2 week pause, when we weren’t supposed to see or talk to each other, he couldn’t go for more than 2 days without texting me and we even saw each other 2 times because he really wanted to. One of those times it was because he was jealous when I went with my girlfriends clubbing and he came to drive me home. Then, out of the blue, after the 2 week pause, he broke up with me.)

admin

February 17, 2014 at 7:45 pm

Do you think he was too possessive?
Karen

February 17, 2014 at 8:59 pm

Not really. If you talk about the time he came to drive me home after I went clubbing, I actually liked that, because it was the first time he had shown some type of jealousy (he doesn’t want to be the jealous type, so he never shows any jealousy). I found it cute.
And about me not going out so much while in a relationship, I liked the feeling of being “settled down”. It wasn’t because he prohibited me or anything. He didn’t have nothing against me going out. I slowed down by myself and only went out 1-2 times a week because I didn’t feel the need to go out more than that, like I used to.
My dilemma is if there’s any chance that after those 30 days of no contact, he will miss me and come back? And what do I do if he contacts me via facebook during this time? Ignore him completely?

Jessica

February 14, 2014 at 12:09 pm

I did this and my ex unfriended me. Is that good or bad?

admin

February 14, 2014 at 6:36 pm

Neither… it is actually pretty normal after a breakup.
Jessica

February 15, 2014 at 3:32 pm

He admitted he was Facebook stalking me to our friends. So I think I pissed him off when my other ex asked to be my Valentine and go on a date with him. I liked the status and the next thing I know he unfriended me but not block me.

Karen

February 14, 2014 at 5:57 am

Hi,

I was reading your advice on your page. I was wondering if any of this applies to my situation.

I had been seeing one of my really good friends boyfriends friend and things were going super duper smoothly 4 months into our relationship he all of a sudden disappears…messaged me on a saturday morning saying good morning like everything was normal, kept conversation to a normal amount and then poof…disappears. My friend and the boyfriend that set us up ran into him at a movie a day after he disappeared on me and said that he was being kind of weird where he didn’t even say hi to my friend. 3 days later i sent him a text message asking if everything was okay and no response then 2 days after that I called him and left him a voicemail saying to give me a call I just wanted to have a quick chat and I texted him the same thing. I was totally civil, didn’t sound like I was annoyed or anything. It’s been almost 3 months since this happened…he still has me on his social media and recently posted a few pics and I heard he was going on trips, etc. I haven;t texted or called or anything since the day i left the voicemail. It;s just weird that he hasn’t responded to anything but still has me on instagram and twitter. Do you think that’s a positive sign? I mean I’ve been posting lots of pictures of being out and not showing any signs that I care…I have however noticed him being more on instagram then he ever was…not sure if that’s a sign of any sort. Please let me know if you have any advice at all. Do you think that perhaps its time I delete him?

admin

February 14, 2014 at 6:46 pm

Obviously the final decision is up to you but I don’t think you should delete him.
Karen

February 15, 2014 at 4:20 am

Thanks for your advice. What does keeping him on there interpret towards a guy? I mean I don’t want to sound super sure and say that I’m sure he views my profile cause I have no idea if he does….I just don’t want it to seem weird that I still have him on my twitter and instragram if he hasn’t responded to me in 3 months.

Jessica

February 11, 2014 at 12:56 am

What happens if you don’t live in the same town as the rest of your friends. All my friends are his friends..I dont know what to do.
Walkingdeadfan

February 9, 2014 at 11:45 pm

My ex and i had a thing where we wouldn’t watch any episodes of walking dead without each other. I’m excited for the new season, but feel weird to watch it without him. You think he will be thinking of me too?

admin

February 10, 2014 at 5:52 am

LOVE the walking dead.

What did you think of the episode tonight?

I am sure he will be thinking of you if he watches it.

Rebecca

February 8, 2014 at 1:47 pm

My ex defriended me on day 6 of nc when I changed my Facebook to single but then 2 days later sent me a friend request. Should I add him so he can see my page or ignore it? This is day 9 of nc and so far I haven’t responded to any of his desperate attempts to contact me even by contacting my friends. I’m just not sure how to go about the Facebook thing because you said it can help if he sees my page….
NT

February 4, 2014 at 10:48 am

First let me say Thank You Chris for your time and your book and I appreciate your patience reading through everyone’s stories! I’m telling you mine as briefly as I could, and hoping for some advice please.

We are each other’s very first serious relationship and after over 2 years living together, we were at this point when things got so tough and got accumulated (you know, unwise hurtful things said and done that I personally regretted deeply). My partner was a very patient person and he usually compromised and kept his feelings to himself, but this time he was the one that asked to break up. After many tears and long conversations, I convinced him that we went on a cooling period, however just as your book said, he pretty much told me his honest thought that he no longer loved me and he couldn’t help it, and asked me not to have so much hope. I moved out from the house that we were living together and I found your book, read every single word and have been doing NC period. We were still friends on Facebook and I found him online pretty often. Being a very moderate person, he told friends on his status over a week ago that he’s feeling like he’s too addicted to FB and therefore wanted to deactivate it. Friends advised him not to go to that extreme and keep his account open just for contacting with friends which he liked the comment. However today (which is the 16th day of NC period) I found that he has deactivated his FB, and shortly after that, he texted me asking how i am and gave a bit of an update about his work and the house that we were living in as well – overall nice and friendly. I believe that I definitely shouldn’t reply? But I still want to confirm as we didn’t “officially” break up. Also from a guy’s perspective, what do you think about the fact that he deactivated his FB? Does it mean he just wants to shut me out completely as I still update my FB every now and then and he just doesn’t want to see/distracted by me anymore? And if so is it a negative thing?..

Thanks for your time reading all my confused questions! I appreciate it a lot!

NT

February 10, 2014 at 7:00 am

Hi again Chris, my comment is below, i’m not sure if you saw it. I have less than 2 weeks of NC left and my bf has been trying to contact me a few times. As mentioned with you we haven’t officially ended our relationship, and I believe he’s really upset not being to contact me so today, after an email to me, he texted and said he would like to end our relationship and wish me the best for the future. I could sense his frustration, and I’m so hurt and confused right now. I understand that it might be a way of him to end all these painful feelings that he had to go through not being able to contact me and most likely come from emotion, but I really don’t know if i’m doing the right thing anymore keeping silence like this. Your advice would be much appreciated! Thank you Chris!
admin

February 4, 2014 at 5:52 pm

I would only deactivate my Facebook for only one reason!

I didn’t want to log on anymore to see a girls photos b/c they upset me. And that defintely means I feel something deep for that girl.
NT

February 4, 2014 at 9:03 pm

Thank you Chris. Should I carry on doing the rest of NC then? I obviously care for him deeply as well and I feel hurt knowing that he’s upset, however if it’s necessary and best for us in the long run, I’ll do it regardless.
admin

February 5, 2014 at 6:36 pm

Yes I think you should.
NT

February 6, 2014 at 11:26 am

Thank you Chris for your advices, I really appreciate them! It’s really difficult for us girls to figure out what guys really think as our minds work so differently so thanks for shedding some light 🙂
NT

February 9, 2014 at 3:10 am

Hi again Chris, I have less than 2 weeks of NC left and my bf has been trying to contact me a few times. As mentioned with you we haven’t officially ended our relationship, and I believe he’s really upset not being to contact me so today, after an email to me, he texted and said he would like to end our relationship and wish me the best for the future. I could sense his frustration, and I’m so hurt and confused right now. I understand that it might be a way of him to end all these painful feelings that he had to go through not being able to contact me and most likely come from emotion, but I really don’t know if i’m doing the right thing anymore keeping silence like this. Please help me… Thank you Chris!

Jas

January 31, 2014 at 3:10 am

What if I already unfriended him? Will he still look at my profile? What if it seems like he’s back with his baby mama? Should I give up or will the NC rule work? & what if I (out of weakness) looked at his twitter page (we’re still following each other on twitter & Instagram), should I start the 30 days NC again? Speaking of the NC rule, should I just stay off social sites altogether ? I’ve read that you’re supposed to basically “vanish” for 30 days during NC but if him & I are still following each other, how can I do this?

admin

January 31, 2014 at 6:39 pm

No big deal. What’s done is done.

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779 thoughts on “Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”