How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

172 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You Video”

emma

December 4, 2015 at 4:37 am

Hey Chris!
So, my bf just broke up with me 2 weeks ago. Completely blindsided me after a year of dating. We hardly fought, when we did we handled them calmly aside from 2 drunken fights that were not the best. We traveled together constantly, and were always the playful fun couple. We didn’t really have issues. Until one day 2 weeks ago when we had a little discussion when my feelings got hurt about something, and he got weird and didn’t txt the rest of the day(which is not like him). I went over to his house 2 days later to talk about it, and he ended it saying that he didn’t love me the same and he tried to get the feelings back but he couldn’t. He didn’t know if he saw a future with me, and that it should be easier than this. I didn’t understand, bc we don’t even really fight. How much easier could it have gotten? It took me completely off guard, bc he gave no signs of this, even posting tons of pics from our recent trip on social media just 2 days before breaking it off. If he didn’t love me the same, then why would he do that? The breakup was calm and we even held each other, as if he didn’t know if he was doing the right thing. I didn’t txt him for a week, until thanksgiving, and i sent a short nice happy thanksgiving txt, which he replied nicely as well. That was it. I haven’t hear from him nor have i txt him (giving him space) and its been a few weeks. He has yet to change his social media profile pic from us and his status still says we’re in a relationship, so what does that mean? Is he trying to save my feelings from being hurt and putting it off to give me time? I have clothes at his house, and some stuff of his, so i know i will need to return that, but I’m hoping that he’ll change his mind. What do i do?
AW

December 3, 2015 at 7:14 pm

Hi Chris,
About 3 years ago during my freshman year of college I met my (now ex) boyfriend and we instantly had a connection. The problem was that only a couple months prior to us meeting he had just broken up with his girlfriend of 2 years that cheated on him, so he was heart broken and obviously not interested or ready for a new commitment. We did keep a close relationship, however, we would talk regularly and hang out. Many times he expressed that if he was ready for a relationship, he would want one with me, and finally 1 year ago he started getting more serious and we decided to become official. We dated for 9 months, I met his family and became quite close with them, all of his friends love me, and he said he has never had a relationship like ours (we were best friends and in a relationship, the perfect combo). He didn’t tell me he loved me yet, but it was only 9 months in and I figured it wouldn’t be as easy for him to say because of what happened with his ex. Plus, I know some couples that took close to 2 years to say it. About 4 weeks ago he brought up the fact that he didn’t say it yet, and asked if it bothered me. I said it didn’t bother me, but asked why he brought it up. We ended up having a huge talk about it (personally I feel like he is over thinking the situation) and he feels like he can’t get himself to love and become vulnerable because he’s scared of getting hurt. For a week we had some space from each other, and then he came over to my place and as soon as he saw me he started crying. We had a long conversation (with a lot of tears) and to sum it up he said he wished we would have waited longer to start dating, that I’m the type of girl he wants when he’s like 25, and he doesn’t want to lose me which is why it’s so hard for him to let me go (also his friends and family told him he would regret letting me go), but he just feels like he is not emotionally ready/available to love someone. He kissed me and hugged me so many times and when I asked if it’s over for good he said he didn’t want to say that; that it killed him to say that. We have been broken up for 3 weeks now, he texted me 3 days after hoping I’m doing alright and said he missed me and wished it didn’t have to be like this, and a couple times after that to wish me a safe drive home for Thanksgiving, etc.. He wanted to meet up 2 days ago to exchange something but I told him I need some space, which he said is fine. We haven’t talked since then, but I saw him yesterday on campus. I know he saw me, he tried to wave, but I kind of avoided the situation because it would be too hard for me right now to be around him and not be together. He’s 20, as am I, so I realize a lot of young, 20 year olds aren’t ready to settle down, but I just feel like he is overthinking the situation so much and making it seem impossible. What are your thoughts on this situation? Is there anything I can do? Thanks for your help, Chris. I appreciate it more than you know!
hopeless romantic

December 2, 2015 at 5:09 am

Hey Chris,
I stumbled on your page and have really enjoyed reading everything you’ve had to say. Some things you say I feel I can relate too but then some parts confuse me. My situation is somewhere in between and I want to clear up any doubts that I may have about understanding your posts.
My boyfriend and I were together for about a year. He recently broke up with me about a month ago, I did the whole begging and texting at the beginning then i came across your page. I started the NC rule and failed after a week so I restarted. Im on week 2 of the NC period (doing 30 days). His reason for breaking up with me is that we were constantly fighting over the same things, trust issues, jealousy and insecurities from his end which eventually rubbed off on me. The last fight we had turned into something huge because he saw a text message i sent to a friend at a time when i was mad and upset. It was a hurtful message but in no way did i actually mean what i said. I was just really upset. Anyways he took it as anyone else would and got extremely upset and told me that he didnt love me anymore and isnt attracted to me anymore and saying that he doesn’t want to be with me and that its over and that he never sees a future with us again.
Well recently during my NC period he reached out to me but not in the way i had hoped. He texted me for thanksgiving saying he was thankful for having me be a part of his life and showing him what true love really was and said i hope you find happiness and take care. As hard as it was to not respond, I stuck to the NC rule and ignored his message and even deleted it so i wouldn’t be tempted to text but it makes me wonder why he spoke in past tense as if we really never do have a chance at working things out again. He used to be head over heels for me and now its like hes a completely different person. A part of me is starting to lose hope that he really is done.
Now my question is in one of your posts you mentioned how if there was constant fighting 24/7 that you would more than likely not want to put yourself back into a situation like that. To be exact you mentioned a situation along the lines where you thought to yourself “can we go one week without fighting.” Which is similar to what we dealt with. Dont get me wrong though, we did have our good moments and shared a lot of laughs together. You also mentioned in another post that if the reason for the break up was a huge fight that led to a break up then the chances of getting back together are pretty good. I’m confused on whether i’m fighting a losing battle because of the fact that we argued so often that he really doesn’t want to try again. I plan on continuing the NC rule but what im searching for is what are my actual chances of possibly succeeding with the NC rule or should i just give up completely?

hopeless romantic

December 4, 2015 at 3:36 pm

is there any way i can send you a private message? he sent me a long text but i would prefer if you just read it rather than posting it on here. This text is the reason why im starting to question the 30 day nc rule. :/
Chris Seiter

December 7, 2015 at 6:09 pm

Sorry I am only answering comments right now.
hopeless romantic

December 3, 2015 at 3:28 am

What concerns me is whether its worth it to keep doing it knowing how often we argued that he may very well not want to be put into a position like that again. Him losing interest is also a big concern but what concerns me most about that is that parents play a big role in the decisions you make in choosing a partner. His parents only saw one side of the story and i feel that if they arent very fond of the situation then our chances of getting back together are less likely to happen because of the influence of family?
Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 1:01 am

Lets focus on the things you are confused about.

What about the no contact rule concerns you?

Him losing interest?

Patty

December 1, 2015 at 1:51 am

Hi Chris I’m an reader of your website and I bought the Ex Boyfriend Recovery, I just finished the no contact rule, the trick is while I was on the no contact rule my ex had a thing with one with his exes didn’t work out this were together just few weeks (less than a month), I didn’t contact him right after the no contact because he was with her, now they aren’t together anymore I decided to finally contact him, I sent him a message about something we used to like, well he didn’t answer me, I waited a week and sent another message today and he haven’t answered, I don’t believe he is missing me, or the no contact rule worked. It’s being two months since our last fight, I already read the ex boyfriend recovery beginning to end again but I still don’t know what to do anymore, to make him miss me or accept me back, I don’t know if I still have a chance.
P.S.: loving the videos 🙂

Patty

December 6, 2015 at 12:29 am

Cool I can’t wait for the next podcast glad to know they are not going nowhere.

Chris I couldn’t hold and sent him another message yesterday about a movie that I thought he would like. Still no answer. I guess he moved on, I won’t message him anymore, I will enter another 30 days no contact even longer. Do you think this is the way to go? Do I still have any chances? Or another long no contact will just make him forget about us?
Chris Seiter

December 7, 2015 at 6:04 pm

Ya, Hopefully when the baby calms down I can get back to them.
Patty

December 2, 2015 at 3:28 am

I really like the videos I think they are fun, but I miss the podcasts, I could just listen on the way to work. Well the reason he gave was that he fell out of love, but I think the real reason was I wasn’t appreciating him as much and we moved on too fast with 3 months of relationship we were basically living together, we didn’t plan but it happened. We broke, it I didn’t see it coming because we didn’t had big fights or anything, I went nuts did all the things you say we shouldn’t do when we broke up I sent a ton of txt and was kind of mean, well than I found you, bought the Ex Boyfriend Recovery, did the 30 days no contact, and was following everything did the txt the right way we started see each other, he said he missed me we were getting closer but we ended up sleeping together, we were like that for few months until I decided to tell him that I thought was time to us make it official again, did it in a nice way like said on the book no pressure or anything, he just said he didn’t know, didn’t pressure him for an answer, but he started to distance himself, not answering my messages, tried to talk about we had a huge fight, I decided do the 30 days no contact again, than was when he kind of went back to his ex, I don’t know exactly if they were just hooking up just saw few posts on fb, but it didn’t last long just around a month, so passed over 30 days and I decided to contact him again. First message was about a pj he gave me I said it was being handy at winter and thanked him for it or something like that, he answered a “k”, I didn’t answer back and waited a week and sent a message about our teams playing together and it being fun think about when we used to watch it together (tried the good memory here) he didn’t even answer the first time around he was way more receptive, so I don’t know what to do, I still like him and miss him but I think he is really mad and decided to don’t get back together. What should I do? Do you think there is any chances still?
Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 12:58 am

Hi Patty,

Don’t worry.

The podcasts aren’t going anywhere. I just haven’t had time to really get into it with a new baby but the second my schedule becomes more traditional I will start churning them out again.
Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 12:18 am

Hey!! Thanks for watching the videos. I will keep them coming if I continue to get positive feedback and subscribers. What was your text messages exactly and what was the cause of the breakup?

Liz

November 30, 2015 at 11:16 pm

Hi Chris, I could really use some help. I just keep getting deeper into this breakup. My ex and I broke up in August, he said because I was going to a college further away, but it didnt seem like that was his only reason. We texted and fought a lot in the beginning. I then did the No Contact Rule in October and after that we had casual conversations. Over Thanksgiving break we were both home and we met up. He told me how much he missed me and unfortunately I slept with him (I regret it) the next night I went over to talk to him and told him I still had feelings for him and that I couldnt be just something he used when he came home for breaks and that if he wanted to see me over winter break than he would have to make an effort while we are both at school. He told me he still had feelings for me too and he swore that things would change but he needed to think about how far we could actually go and if we could ever get back to the way we used to be. After that night (I didnt sleep with him that night, I told him we needed to figure things out first- Thanks to your other guide!) he did not text me for the rest of the break nor while at school. I texted him before I left saying that I hoped we could figure something out but if not I understood, he never answered. I dont know if I am expecting too much since he told me he had to think about things and if I just need to give him space to think about what he wants or if he did all this just to sleep with me and doesnt actually want me anymore.. This has been the longest break up I’ve ever been through, I just need someone to be straight with me and tell me if I am holding onto something that he doesnt feel anymore. Please help!! Thank you, Chris.

Liz

December 8, 2015 at 10:50 pm

Hi Chris, PLEASE HELP i may have really screwed this up… so things didnt really go as planned and he never texted me so I ended up texting him saying I think everything he told me was a lie to get me into bed with him and we shouldnt see eachother during winter break. He told me I always do this (clearly he knows I just get upset and always come back which is not good) and that i need to make up my mind. I told him i change my mind so much because he always messes with my head and he said “not really we just hang out when were home, we go to different schools thats it” then i said that wasnt good enough for me and that i need more and then he got mad and said he was busy studying for finals and didnt want to talk to me.. SInce he said that quote (which made it seem like we are FWB) I was thinking of ignoring him when we get home because nothing has changed (like another no contact month) do you think that is the best way to go about this. I just dont know how to try to get him to commit again. and i know when we get home from break he will start with the ‘i miss you’s’ again just to flirt (for his amusement clearly) and to try to get me to sleep with him again (if that is all he wanted)
Liz

December 2, 2015 at 1:11 am

Thanks so much for the response! Okay, I can do that (hopefully)! I am thinking he is going to text me sometime this weekend when he is drunk (that is, if he texts me at all) and I am sure he is going to try to bring up sleeping together again.. How do I say that we are not going to do it again in a friendly way without showing my feelings again? Usually I say something like “I cant do that, it only hurts me” but I’m assuming by playing this card you want me to stop sharing my emotions with him
Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 12:58 am

Just say that you aren’t in the mood. Make him wonder.
Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 12:26 am

Hey first things first don’t ask him for answers anymore. You have to play your cards right and that is the weaker hand. Just be friendly with him and through in mild jealously. That should help your chances.

Once Bonded

November 30, 2015 at 12:40 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I broke up 1.5 months ago. We had been together in a 5 year relationship, with petty breakups in which we would get back together within the next day. However, this time he wanted to end it. I cheated on him once 1.5 years back and another time 7 months ago. His personality is similar to yours, the super faithful type of guy and thus he is unable to accept my cheating as he will always be reminded of those dark moments of me and someone else. I feel full shame and remorse for my actions and have told him I was willing to go through drastic measures to gain his trust back, but he would not believe me anymore. He mentioned something about his morals to not take me back. However, I really want him back. He is going to the army in 2 months time.

I have finished my 30 day NC and have contacted him but he still sounded angry and said he does not want to have anything to do with me anymore. He has given me a full block. Because your mindset is so similar to his, please tell me if there is any way you can get a faithful guy’s trust back?

Once bonded

Once bonded

December 2, 2015 at 4:57 am

I asked him if we could talk things out. Because on day 19 of my NC he had asked for his stuff back (the items are in-game items and could be easily repurchased) and that he will go over to return me my stuff that I asked for (before my NC started), so I thought maybe he was ready to talk. However he said there was nothing to talk about.

I know my chances are really low at this point, but I do not want to give up on us without a fight.

Please give me advise how to get him back Chris.

Once bonded
Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 1:00 am

Ya you are allowed to break NC for an exchange of stuff but you are not supposed to bring up your relationship at all.
Chris Seiter

November 30, 2015 at 9:39 pm

What was your message when you contacted him exactly?

Tilly

November 30, 2015 at 6:24 am

Hi Chris! I desperately need help.
My story goes: My ex broke up with me 3 months ago after 2.5 years together. I knew it was coming because he was very distant and wouldn’t open up to me anymore. I know the reasons behind the split, mostly due to my insecurities, controlling behavior and fear of people leaving me (irony at it’s finest) and he also said he has fallen out of love with me, but still cares about me. I pushed and pushed until he couldn’t take no more and asked I moved out (we lived together for 2 years). I had to move interstate back to my parents. The first weeks of the break up I begged him and cried non stop on the phone asking for another shot! He asked that I didn’t contact him for a week. I did just that and texted him exactly one week later, he called and we talked. After that I kept texting each day, not over the top but each day. He wouldn’t go out of his way to contact me. Again I took offence and again asked him where we were at, he said he would think about another shot once I move closer (planning on study in a city close by). I took that as hope, hope I could get him back. I’ve been working on myself (health, friendships, study etc) and been keeping in contact, he shares whats hes up to e.g. drinking with mates, and I would work myself up that he would be sleeping with other people. I would have panic attacks and call and call and call… Once I get hold of him and I’ve calmed down I poured my heart out. I said I still love him and that I want another shot, that we could be happy. I asked how he was and he said he was miserable, lonely and felt he had no friends where he is but didn’t say the words “he missed me” although he said that at the start when I asked “do you miss me”. This stage is where he said he wants to be friends, I asked why just friends, and he generalized that you can’t date someone that wouldn’t make a good friend first and to stop forcing something to happen. With that a light switched, I’m calmer and not going out of my way to contact him, and when we do I try to keep it light, friendly and short. I’ve come to accept that I cant control this, even though I want to, I think he’s opening up, talking more about what is going on in his life. He told me yesterday that he wants to work overseas, I’ve now hit a wall again, what if I can’t get him back now? Overseas is a whole lot different to different states. I kept it cool, said I was happy for him and wanted him to chase his dreams, I think he liked that, but he could have been testing me? Seeing my reaction? I slid in that the career I was studying could take me anywhere I want (to say that this wouldn’t be an issue). I believe I’ve worked on myself enough to start a new relationship with him, that it wont be like it was before, I am determined, I love him and know he is the one I want to spend my life with. I have done soo much research, read so many blogs, opinions, advice, strategies, and brainstormed what I’ve learnt about relationships I just want to know if I am on the right track, am I looking to much into this? Is 3 months too long? Thanks Chris, and please no vague responses haha.

Tilly

December 2, 2015 at 4:05 am

Thank you so much Chris! This has really helped, I’ll make my way over to those articles while I start NC for at least 30 days. Thanks again!
Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 12:57 am

Definitely do that!
Tilly

December 1, 2015 at 12:45 am

Thanks for the reply Chris!
I was in NC for the first week, after that I decided to not talk to him for 2 weeks. I wanted to heal a bit and I thought he needed it to. I did all this before I found your site (which is one of the better ones). I love the detail you go into and how many different senerio’s you write about.
Is it to late to start NC? He sounds misreable when I talk to him, why is that? Is he playing mind games? Im finding it hard as a potential LDR.
Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 12:22 am

Thanks!!

No it is definitely not to late to start no contact just don’t tell him you are doing it. I’d recommend reading my post on LDR’s. You will find specific information and advice for that type of relationship. They can be complicated.

He might just be miserable with his life right now. Don’t worry about that, just be positive and focus on yourself right now. I’d have to know more to know if he’s playing mind games, but really don’t even focus on that right now. Worry about that later if you need to.
Chris Seiter

November 30, 2015 at 9:38 pm

How did my site stack up against your research?

I think 3 months is not too long at all.

A lot of women think it is but I don’t really think it is. My question for you would be how long of this three months has been in NC?

Halee

November 30, 2015 at 12:22 am

My ex (26) and I (30) lived together for 2 years then he relocated back home after he lost his job. Our plan was to live apart, both with our parents to save money until he found a new job. The first month was great apart he even talked to me about marriage, he also had a few job leads. After his job leads fell through he became distant, and he started ignoring my texts and call. November 1st he called and ended it. I recently found out he is dating one of the girls that hangs out in his group of friends, he started talking to her within days of breaking up. On Tuesday I will be getting my things from “our” storage unit 4 hours away. I have had limited contact with him, mostly just to figure out how to get my things. After no contact what is the best approach to take?

Halee

December 1, 2015 at 12:28 am

Yes, I signed up for your email so I read your tide theory, I will go back and re-read. Thank you for a great website!
Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 12:23 am

Thanks for reading and the support!
Chris Seiter

November 30, 2015 at 9:37 pm

Well, the best approach revolves around the idea of tide theory. Are you familiar with this?
Halee

November 30, 2015 at 12:25 am

I ask because I feel like there are so many things against me, new girlfriend, LDR, and job issues which he is now going back to school.
Chris Seiter

November 30, 2015 at 9:37 pm

Ultimately this is your life and your decision.

It does seem like you are in one of the tougher situations but I have seen women succeed in harder situations.

Naz

November 29, 2015 at 7:01 pm

Hey Chris, I’m in a bit of a pickle with my ex boyfriend. We’ve been broken up for almost 5 months now, I did NC for the first month and he initiated contact, he would send funny pics and send me links to things he knew I would like and find funny, this went on for about 3 months, he also added me back on Instagram during this time. Then, it all got very confusing for me, so last month, I had a weak moment where I asked him if there was any chance we would patch things up. He said “I’m not talking about this with you, I still want to be friendly with you as I can’t erase you from my life. We’re not getting back together though. It was a sh*tty relationship that ended in a sh*tty way, get over it.” I said I couldn’t be his friend and he didn’t like this response.

I started a strict NC straight after this and it’s been more than 30 days now since, it was his bday and I didn’t say anything to him then either. I had to delete him off Instagram too, because I could see what kind of pictures he was liking (girls), he would have never done this when we were together, and this was upsetting me so I figured it was best if I got rid of him on there. I haven’t said a word to him for over a month and I’m terrified of what to do, we were together for 7 years and he gave me no reason for the break up. He’s an introverted kinda guy, your post on introverts was by far my favourite post you’ve ever written as it’s made me understand things a lot more, so thank you!

I’m really torn and have no idea what to do or what I can do, we don’t have each other on social media, so your tips with social stuff and other things don’t seem very applicable to my situation. His messages were usually short and never flirty – even though he would always initiate contact – then he would stop or give short answers. Please help, I feel completely hopeless.

Naz

December 6, 2015 at 5:33 pm

Oh and no I didn’t cheat on him, I was completely faithful for the entirety of our 7 years together. He never gave me a reason for the break up, I think he was fed up – but I don’t know, I’ve only been piecing things together in my head.
Naz

December 5, 2015 at 11:35 am

Thank you so much for your response! I totally understand what you’re saying – he knows why I’m not talking to him which is why he’s probably not bothered by it now and won’t reach out.

I feel like I still need a little more time before talking to him again, I’m already super stressed with Uni and I think if we start talking it may make me feel sad or distracted from doing well with my work. Would you recommend a longer NC in my case? Considering we’ve been broken up for 5 months with a month of NC straight after, and now a current NC.

He’s an introvert for sure, so how could I use jealousy effectively on him if I don’t have him on any social media?

Thanks again for your help, you really have helped a lot and given me some hope. YOU ARE THE BOMB DOT COM.
Naz

December 1, 2015 at 7:41 pm

Thank you so much for your reply! Well, his last messages were pretty nasty. But when he used to message me, they were usually internet memes or photos of his cat (?), bit weird, I know, but he knew how much I loved his cat haha. His other messages were usually asking how I was doing and how University was going. He also sent me a link to his picture album of his weekend trip away with his friend. But as I said, his last messages were a bit nasty, saying we wouldn’t get back together but he wants to be friendly with me. When I said I couldn’t do that, he said “I’m not going to start asking you to see a film with me as friends. It’s not going to be any more than sending you funny photos and asking how things are going now and then. If that’s too difficult for you to handle, then fine.”

I mean, that’s really it – he NEVER gave me a reason for the break up, it was out of the blue. So I really don’t know what to do or what’s going on in his head.

We haven’t spoken for over a month at all now, and I have no idea what I can do, I’m really struggling with this one, Chris!! Please help!
Chris Seiter

December 1, 2015 at 9:25 pm

It sounds like he is stringing you along. You should not have told him you couldn’t do that. That takes away the mystery of the no contact rule. Now he knows why you’ve disappeared and he has the reassurance that your still in love with him.

The best thing for you to do is send him a funny/cute text about something he loves. Then disappear. Your going to have to use jealously in this case for sure since there isn’t any mystery left, UNLESS you cheated on him.
Chris Seiter

November 30, 2015 at 9:35 pm

Well lets see what we can do about your pickle.

I am glad you enjoyed the introverts post.

Give me an example of some of his text messages.

May

November 29, 2015 at 3:25 pm

Hello Mr. Chris!
Thankyou for your reply on the other page, “The simple four step method for getting your boyfriend back.” 🙂
Your reply really lightened things up for me 🙂
Anyways, I was initially thinking of just sticking to the 30 day no contact rule.
But, being 15 year olds, we have school, and in 30 days, we’d be on Christmas Break.
However, if I do the 21 day no contact rule, I can begin talking to him a week before Christmas break.
Judging from my previous question, and also the circumstances, which do you think would be the most effective?
I’m on day 11 of the no contact rule by the way.
Thankyou!

Chris Seiter

November 30, 2015 at 9:35 pm

You are very welcome.

I think 21 days is ideal for you in your situation then.

U

November 28, 2015 at 11:42 pm

Hi Chris,
Lately, I can sense that my boyfriend is slowly getting more and more distant. About a week ago, we agreed to try to change ourselves for the better (getting rid of our bad habits) so that hopefully we can salvage our relationship. However, about 2 days ago, I realised how more and more little we text each other. He never initiates our conversations. He never keeps the conversation going. I really need your help. What are some helpful texting tips I could use?

U

November 30, 2015 at 6:09 am

No, we are still together.
Chris Seiter

November 29, 2015 at 2:13 am

Hi there!

So may I ask if a breakup has actually occurred yet?

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172 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You Video”