The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?

1,382 thoughts on “The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule”

Mimi

October 18, 2016 at 2:34 am

I have been with my ex for almost three years. Last year we built a house together, we both have kids and have blended our families. He took a job overseas and we have been apart for the last years (he returned for brief periods of time). The distance has huge impact. We both had a lot going on and sooner or later issues and insecurities crept in. He is not the best at communicating so everything snowballed from there. To get to the point, I was going to leave but I gave it another go and 3 weeks later, I discovered some inappropriate message to other females. I decided to leave, everything was awkward but civil until the day of my move out he began to act out, being petty/childish about items, even called the police (with no prevail). He deleted all of our mutual contacts from social media, etc. Long story short, I moved out and have not contacted him since (32 days). He only contacted me once, a sarcastic text in regards to me not reaching out on his birthday. Now, he is asking people about where I am or where I’m going?, he is no befriending my family (that he is not even close w) on social media, etc. I don’t feel like I should be the one to contact him, especially after his behavior during my move out, but for some reason, I want an apology or at least a explanation. One message? Obviously he doesn’t care. He is extremely prideful, but wow….wouldn’t you do whatever you could to get your girl back, if you really love her? I love him, but I’m not putting up with this disrespect or any crap for that matter. Should I just completely let go?

Mimi

October 27, 2016 at 12:39 am

Thanks, well we both have our own lives since I have moved out and haven’t spoke since. but since you believe we should let go completely, breaking the non contact and getting involved w the house would be contradicting, Right?
Sorry to keep asking questions… Should I step back or limit my time with his family?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 8:59 pm

it’s ok! You can keep asking anytime! It’s ok to talk about important matters during the no contact rule as long as you don’t talk about feelings nor the relationship.. It would be better if you stop interacting with his family too.. It might not happen with one blow, if you can do it slowly, do it slowly.
Mimi

October 25, 2016 at 5:38 pm

I don’t mean to beat a dead horse, but why specifically would you let it go? I just feel like our 3 years had to count for something? Not to mention, this sucks because of the emotional attachment. We were speaking of marriage, were building a future and how did we get to this? But I’m really close to his family, they call or contact me and I am often invited to events or just casual hangouts. He tends to hang around in hopes of bumping into me (no prevail , but its bound to happen eventually) or inquiry about our outings/event, and sulk about how he wasn’t invite but I was. I want to continue contacting his sons bc they are still my babies, should i? Should I limit my contact with his family?
Also, despite the warnings he came back without another job and still has not obtained one. In addition, he no longer has my income and I normally handle the finances. I have been getting phone calls, emails, even text in reference to bills that he is not paying including the mortgage. I have forwarded the message (without contact), have asked my contact info be removed, and provided his info, yet I am still getting calls. Naturally, I am worried, do I mind my own business or provided alternative method that may help him maintain? That lifestyle was meant for 2 incomes, has over 5K of monthly expenses with no income and little to no savings. And I know its not my house, but I designed and built it from the ground up and I don’t want him to waste all my hard earn work and money!
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 7:19 pm

Because when respect is gone, you either have to let go or have a restart.. A restart means both of you needs to let go too, have your own lives, and then later on, start over as friends again when you’re both in a better place. If you’re hoping for a second chance with him, yes, help him with the house only.. Of course, later on, if it doesn’t work, you’ll have to decide if you still want to help when you’re not even getting back together.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 19, 2016 at 3:04 am

Hi Mimi,

for me, yes you should let go..

Lila

October 14, 2016 at 10:21 am

Hi Amor,

I broke up With My boyfriend … As He sent me yet another text message .. .. We had already spoken how it’s important to talk about imp stuff over the phone or in person… Am 38 and he is 43 .. We both have kids and when we met said we were looking for similar things.. Basically a committed relationship without pressure to live together etc as I am as independent as him. And cannot think about a life with 5 kids. So in short, he kept withdrawing things he had promised me… Like he told his kids about me and then three months down the line said he was not in a hurry to introduce them to me. I was not either …nor did I pester or ask him but we hardly get 4/14 evenings where we can spend time with each other. Then he added activities on the days he was free .. I am busy too and when we did meet it was always superb. The last straw was the message where he says he doesn’t think he is in a state to have this relationship grow. Recently we had a five day split but I felt I had been rash and so apologised and we saw each other four times after that. Each time was very loving and doing things we both love ie dancing… He seemed to have wanted to send me more messages after stating he was not ready for more but I was so upset that he again chose to text me rather than speak when we met.. That I said I need more than a pseudo relationship. And he agreed and said he hoped I found someone nice and who would give me that and that I was a wonderful person.
I have not replied those messages and started no contact. It’s the fifth day and he has not gotten back and he has unfollowed me on FB as earlier I could see his calendar ( not sure how that works)… I am going to stick to no contact and avoid seeing him at dances he may turn up for 30 days but do you think he will reach out? Have you seen a man have a change of heart… I just want a relationship that grows and we are so good together when we so get to meet and have dance which is such a huge part of our lives together.
We both have been divorced two years and I’m his first gf of five months. I have had other short term flings.
What do you think? I’m not the sort to be clingy and I nearly never initiated in the relationship for texts or meet ups .. He really pursued me.. And even stayed in touch daily when I was back home in my country for a month in summer.

Lila

October 14, 2016 at 10:29 am

He pursued me so much and I know is highly attracted to me and has said he loves me many many times and we were exclusive… I only recently told him I love him. I know we will see each other at some dance or the other eventually but do you think NC will work in my case? Loads of people saw how crazy he was about me… And I really love him.. All this is just so disappointing !
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 14, 2016 at 4:46 pm

Hi Lila,

There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but yes, there have been stories that the guy realized he wanted the girl back while she is doing the no contact rule… especially when she is making big improvements and seemed like moving on..

A

October 14, 2016 at 8:57 am

I made a comment in a previous thread about my situation and then I came upon this article where it was written that I should pretty much so give up because the no contact rule wouldn’t work due to arguments, fights, jealousy, etc. and that the no contact rule would cause him to lose feelings for me. So, you just made a hopeful case into a hopeless case.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 14, 2016 at 4:39 pm

HI A,

so, what’s your decision A? Does that mean you’re moving on?

Aubrie

October 14, 2016 at 12:03 am

I HAD been in an off and on relationship with my ex boyfriend for 6 years. The past few months we both had been under bouts of stress (regarding financial strains, etc) and we were so drained by it all that we weren’t even giving our all in the relationship. We argued about every little thing and would break up just as a temporary “fix” because he would always shut me out and wouldn’t really communicate with me. And him doing this only made me fuss and yell more. The thing with me is that when I would get upset with him, I would always bash him and complain about him constantly, saying things I didn’t mean. But I would say them because at times when I would try to tell him nicely that he was doing something I thought was unfair, he wouldn’t put in effort to try changing it. I feel like I did nag a whole lot. But I also feel like if he had been putting in the effort to try or communicate with me, I wouldn’t have had to get so upset about him “not arguing” with me. As a child, he grew up in the house with his parents always arguing (sometimes so bad it would wake him up at night and he would call me so I could soothe him). And he’d constantly use this experience as an excuse in our relationship. Everytime he would assume something would lead to an argument he would just shut down. Sometimes we could be talking and having a great conversation but the second he thinks an argument is coming along just from the both of us basing our opinions, he would shut down. Recently, I had one of my spells where I go off on him and say things I don’t mean. This time it was pretty bad. And I may have gone a bit too far. So he blocked me for 3 days. I was unable to call or text him in any way. After those 3 days were up, he texted me claiming he “couldn’t be hard anymore.” And wanted to talk to me finally. But by now, I had made up my mind that I was no longer doing this anymore. I started ignoring him. I felt like if he really was sorry for blocking me, he would’ve did everything in his willpower to get me back. A few days pass by and he comes to my house unexpectedly (the night before his birthday) and tries to hug and kiss all over me before he went to his grandma’s house to celebrate. But I wasn’t having it. I was like “okay that was cute. But it wasn’t enough.” So days pass by and he starts acting like a jerk. By this point I’m thinking “He says he wants me. But he quit trying to win me back over after I turned him down once.” (This also reminded me of the phrase: “There’s a difference between those who want you and those who’ll do anything to keep you). So he snuck into my snapchat account and my Facebook and seen where some guys had been texting me. They were harmless conversations. But he used this as an assumption that I had “moved on.” So he started texting other ppl and really acting single. He even went to spend the night with another girl and spend his birthday with her. Of course he didn’t tell me this stuff. I found out by the grace of God. And the entire time I had been asking questions he was lying to me. Not only did I feel betrayed. I was so hurt that he would lie so boldly to me. Yes we were broken up. But only bc I feel like he didn’t try to fix the problems he caused after blocking me. He definitely has lost my trust. He wasn’t loyal to me. And the respect I have for him now is almost nonexistent. But when we were in a relationship he was a man of his word and was a man of integrity. There are so many thoughts running through my head. I know we have endured some tough times but I know we didn’t try everything. We took the same approach every time we got together and got the same results repeatedly. I know this wasn’t how we were supposed to end. And I’ve constantly told him I wanted to try again and that I would never give up on us. Yet he keeps saying, “I don’t want a relationship or the responsibility of one right now because I’m tired of making you mad and unhappy. But I don’t want you to leave.” I tried the no contact rule for 1 day and was doing so well. But I failed so easily. And he slept over again the day after I tried to no contact rule. And now I’m back to square one all in my feelings again. I really love him. And I do feel we needed some time apart to work on ourselves. But am I making a mistake thinking this could work out again? Do you think I should just move on? Or do you think I will have another chance if I try the no contact rule and prevail at it. Do you think he is just tired of me from this behavior? I’m so lost right now. Everything I’ve tried to say to him, it’s like his mind is made up and that he doesn’t want to ever try again. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 14, 2016 at 2:37 pm

Hi Aubrie,

You have to stick to no contact rule for 45 days this time. There’s no guarantee that it will work, but something has to change.. You won’t have a different result by staying on and off with him.. Both of you, needs to grow separately for now, even if the no contact rule is just a few days, use it to start a new routine that you will continue while slowly rebuilding rapport with him after no contact…

Elsa

October 12, 2016 at 6:51 pm

I was dating an russian guy for 2 months and we were friends for 4 months before dating. We talked a lot and we can just talk for hours, he always remembered everything I said and do the thing that he ever promised me. But then, When we started kissing and cuddling, he said he could take it slow, but after I told him I don’t want sex before marriage, he said we could be just friends (he said it while he’s still holding my hands and cuddling) and then he says that “Don’t be jealous if I have a girlfriend” which I was like feeling blessed because I haven’t done anything with him much yet. I still feel disappointed as well, I have no idea how could a guy leave a girl just because she doesn’t want to sex with him.
After a week from that night, he chat me first with a casual topic and then we chat but not that long.
Second week, I was thinking to chat him since we are going to meet in our friend’s farewell party next week after that week, but then I accidently met him in the bus station. We said hi etc and at that time he was talking with smiling and laughing a bit, and his eyes still mean something.
3rd week, he chat me before the farewell party, just asking whether I come or not and asking do we need to bring some food or stuff. Then we chat but again, not that long. I asked him whether will he come on time or late since people that I know on that party is only a friend of mine, one of my colleague(but I’m not that close with him) and him. Then he told me that he has another farewell party after that so he had no choice. And I said only a short answer like “oh, okay!” and he told me again that he might gonna leave on 8pm ( I feel like, I’m not even asked him lol). He still use smiley in most of the chat.
At the farewell party,I couldn’t find anybody so I called him just want to know where are the people sit exactly(we’ve never have a call during our dating, only chat and hangout). Then, I finally meet him, he was actually the first person that I met in the party since he also just arrived at that time. I would say that he acted really strange, like hot and cold. We sit in the same table which is like consist with around 8 people,and he sit in front of me, then he started asking me how was my work, then I asked him about my work etc. I found out he still looking at me several times. When it’s already 8pm, I know that he’ll leave the party, but I tried to not look at him at all by talking with people who sit besides me which are a danish couple. Since he sit in front of me, I heard that he said to person who sit next to him that he is going to leave. Then, before he left he giving a goodbye to all people who’s his table, he said that he’s apologize that he needs to leave because of another agenda, then he tells people that “it’s really nice to meet all of you”, then he was saying “It’s really nice to meet you” with hands focusing on me in front of many people. I was feeling surprised to be honest. Then he started shaking hands with the people one by one saying just “See you” then shaking hands with me with “See you soon, next time” and I feel that this is strange because there are no other occasion that connecting us anymore since our friend who has the farewell party is actually the one who introduced me to him. So it is about either he asked me out again or I iniciate to contact him again(that’s what I thought). After that, I tried to use NC rule and he never chat me or contact me after 2 weeks.
sorry if my story is too long, but do you have an idea what the hell that he wants? I wish he could change his minds but…..I’m not sure :(.
I talked with one of my russian friends about my story and she told me that he probably really into me since just hangout within 2months, it just sooo longggg which means he’s serious about me.
I am planning to contact him after 2 weeks(so a month after our last meeting in farewell party), and asking him to hang out and tried to talk about our expectations, is that make sense?or should I wait for him to contact me?
I’m waiting until 1month to do this to make sure that I am ready to accept any answer from him, whether he probably already has a new girlfriend or dating someone / just be friends or he changed his mind (I don’t think it’s possible haha 🙁 ).

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2016 at 11:17 am

Hi Elsa,

If he really is serious with you, he’ll show it. You won’t have to ask.. If you want to be friends, just continue talking to him but if you’re looking for a relationship, set your expectations because he clearly showed at the beginning that all he wants is sex.. Yes, you continued to talk and he still continued to be friendly but that doesn’t show anything that he wanted to pursue you and respect your values.

Dayana

October 10, 2016 at 6:45 am

Hi again

well i need to add one more item to my option, i could delete permanently telegram and install plus massenger instead to dodge the blocking! :))
3) to text him on plus massenger (50 50, i’ll be blocked or he’ll communicate)
i’m looking forward to your reply… i want to resolve this issue once and forall

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 8:22 am

Hi Dayana,

those are all chasing.. but I understand, the least damaging in those choices is to message in plus messenger, if he blocks you then at least that’s the only thing that happened than to be disrespected personally, and if he blocks you, that tells you that you need to move on.

Dayana

October 9, 2016 at 5:54 pm

Hi & Good time

on 16 Sep. i was advised to focus on myself and live my life, and i’ve been doing this until now and thank you for that advice because i now i’m not that confused and and full of hate toward him…
i went to a far off city ( wonderful one) on 20 Sep. and on the route i suddenly noticed that was the route my ex and i had come half together last year, on a beautiful summer evening which ended to a huge storm that we could survive while pretending all was ok and laughing all time! i immediately emailed him to say i was passing that route, it could be meaningful to him too, not sure if he checked the email though… nevertheless i enjoyed the trip and came back, after a week i recieved a call from a guy on a number that i hadn’t given it to anyone but to him, as he blocked my current simcard i had to buy another simcard to say last words… and ofcourse he read and blocked… the guy tried to take me into a conversation and played as if he was made a call by mistake… i refused and told him to say hi to my ex… he rang and i didn’t answer and he didn’t anymore…
i feel i need to contact him and clear my situation, to see if he is interested in a new start with me or not, i used all the techniques presented on your helpful website, didn’t contact him for almost 3 months, emailed him with a good reminder, then didn’t contact until tonight from a redbox for being blocked by him… and he won’t answer unknown numbers… i have 2 choices, 1) i go straight to his workplace to meet him (not sure how he treats me) 2) i make a call to his office (someone else always answers)

which one is the best and safest way to communicate in your opinion? thank you for your help
Nina

October 8, 2016 at 4:35 am

My ex broke up with me a month ago, we had a lot of fights during our 1 year relationship (it was long distance). He said he just initially wanted to be on a break, but didn’t tell me because he wanted me to think we were over for real. We’ve been talking a lot since we broke up, I have cried a lot and even said many times I want him back. He said he does care, and he wants to be with me but when I feel better and I can be less anxious. He broke it off because I was too anxious about us, a little jealous and from his perspective “didn’t respect his boundaries” (this last thing is because he has some issues with boundaries, which I understand but it is difficult walking on egg shells around him not knowing what could upset him or be considered a “boundary being broken”. I said I would wait, because I wanted us to be together, but he’s very critical of me and says he just want us not to fight anymore and not talk about the relationship for a while until we’ve cooled off. Today we had a huge argument and we decided to not talk for two weeks. He used to say he loved me and we were very loving to each other, saw each other every month and talked every day. He says he doesn’t want to date anyone, and will only come back to me if we can stop arguing and be as we used to be at the beginning. He says Ive been crying too much lately (which it’s because of the break up, of course) and he wants me to be okay with everything. This is very difficult to me, i want him back. I don’t want to fight anymore 🙁 Can you please give me advice on this? thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2016 at 3:09 pm

Hi Nina,

I think you should check this one:
EBR 003: Does Having Your Own Life Help You Get Your Ex Back?

Julia

October 6, 2016 at 11:20 am

We broke up a year and a half ago with many attempts at me getting him back (the break up was my fault). And him not wanting that. After a successful no contact in April, we started talking again and went out twice in July (both times initiated by me) with the second date ending in a lot of tipsy romance and making out.

Then I got jealous about a new girl he is talking about and he reiterated that he doesn’t want to date and if I cant be just friends then I should go away. After I tried just being friends he said I’m a horrible friend (I think because I was still flirting and interacting like a girlfriend) and he started ignoring me. I told him that all hurts me and he said he doesn’t know what to say to the things I say. At that point I decided to let go forever and we haven’t spoken since (August). Its been sooo hard. I don’t see him on any social media except Twitter where I recently started regularly checking his profile because I miss him so much (there’s never anything about me on there tho).

Last night I checked his profile and he posted “I miss you. :(” and I instinctively knew it was me. When I checked his profile this morning he had blocked me.

I’m upset because I had given up hope but that post and block have me so excited because he misses me, even though he clearly doesn’t want to be. And this is a result of an unintentional no contact.

I don’t know what to do now, if anything. I know missing me doesn’t mean he wants me back in his life. Especially since he blocked me just so I don’t pop up on his TL again. I know he doesn’t want anything to do with me but now I am so torn. The hope is back and its devastating.

I don’t know what to do. If anything. Please help?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 1:03 pm

Hi Julia,

it’s not the right time to start out as friends again.. so while it’s not the right time yet.. just go back in your actvities.. when you know that you’ll eventually talk again someday, it will be easier for you..

Hajra

October 6, 2016 at 6:16 am

Me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up 2 weeks ago. I pleaded him and begged him to come back for a week but he denied and blocked me. i contacted his friends and then he unblocked me and told me not to contact his friends. He said he wanted to break up because i wanted attention which he wasn’t able to give since he was always busy working. I asked him for a second chance to change the situations and he said no. he said he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. I have been on the no contact rule for a week now and definitely working on myself. I found a job and also joined gym. Even though I am feeling good about myself, I want to know If i still have a chance of getting back with him. Because from what i know, he is someone who would not change his mind no matter what. But he loved me dearly and we had a strong bond. will he come back if I casually text him after the no contact rule?

Hajra

October 6, 2016 at 8:02 pm

??
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 8, 2016 at 6:10 pm

Hi Hajra,

sorry for the late reply.. I haven’t reached your comments yet.. anyways, just casually texting him is not enough… You have to genuinely change.. Move on from the past relationship and he has to see and think that you moved on. So, that when you start texting again, he would think you’re just being friendly. You have to slowly build rapport through texts, calls and then meet ups.

Julia

October 5, 2016 at 6:39 am

We broke up a year and a half ago with many attempts at me getting him back (the break up was my fault). And him not wanting that. After a successful no contact in April, we started talking again and went out twice in July (both times initiated by me) with the second date ending in a lot of tipsy romance and making out.

Then I got jealous about a new girl he is talking about and he reiterated that he doesn’t want to date and if I cant be just friends then I should go away. After I tried just being friends he said I’m a horrible friend (I think because I was still flirting and interacting like a girlfriend) and he started ignoring me. I told him that all hurts me and he said he doesn’t know what to say to the things I say. At that point I decided to let go forever and we haven’t spoken since (August). Its been sooo hard. I don’t see him on any social media except Twitter where I recently started regularly checking his profile because I miss him so much (there’s never anything about me on there tho).

Last night I checked his profile and he posted “I miss you. :(” and I instinctively knew it was me. When I checked his profile this morning he had blocked me.

I’m upset because I had given up hope but that post and block have me so excited because he misses me, even though he clearly doesn’t want to be. And this is a result of an unintentional no contact.

I don’t know what to do now, if anything. I know missing me doesn’t mean he wants me back in his life. Especially since he blocked me just so I don’t pop up on his TL again. I know he doesn’t want anything to do with me but now I am so torn. The hope is back and its devastating.

I don’t know what to do. If anything. Please help.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 1:03 pm

Hi Julia,

it’s not the right time to start out as friends again.. so while it’s not the right time yet.. just go back in your actvities.. when you know that you’ll eventually talk again someday, it will be easier for you..

Nicole

October 4, 2016 at 12:04 pm

Hey me and my ex just broke up the other night and granted me and him have had a few break ups in the relationship already but this time I put a stop to it and said this is the last time and this time is real that I’m done he cried alot and said he would miss me and never forget me but then said that he will be okay and ofc me not knowing of the contact rule I stupidly contacted him the next day but I didn’t beg for him back I pretty much did it in a way telling him that he can come get his stuff and whatever and I kinda messed up and this was for real I wound up calling him 2 times and on accident so now I feel really stupid and I just want to know do I still have a chance ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2016 at 5:51 pm

Hi Nicole,
I think you still have the chance.. Try doing the no contact, it’s not yet too late

bonita

October 3, 2016 at 11:13 pm

Sorry if this come as a duplicate:
Hi,

Okay so my 5 year relationship ended in Jan ’16. & I begged til Feb to make it work. We lived together & He moved out (his decision) finally April ’16. He had a new girl and everything & what little I found out through a mutual friend she has a whole new boyfriend now. I decided from advice from this wonderful team to do NC. Because of the situation it was decided 45-90 days was best. But the time came and I was preoccupied with my dad getting sick & soon after passing, so contacting my ex was the last thing on my mind. A couple of days ago in the Facebook message request inbox I realized my ex messaged me about a week ago! It read: “No need to reply, but just want to let you know you was right. I’m miserable without you just letting you know. No side agenda” – I am shocked and haven’t responded because I don’t know what to do or say next. Especially when the message said no need to reply. I’ve followed strategies so far, but what now team??

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 4, 2016 at 5:53 pm

Hi Bonita,

Start over and be friendly.. take it slow.. get it to know each other again.

Alejandra

October 3, 2016 at 5:40 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me because he needs time to work on himself because there are a lot of life changes going on right now, he also say that he’s not ready for a relationship right now.
When we met up to exchange out stuff he went from considering getting back together with me to wanting to have time to work on himself. We both agreed that I would give him time to work on himself. First I said 6 months and then he said it was too long that maybe a month and a half, at the end we just agreed that time will tell because he’s very unstable right now.
Do you think he will come back around after NC or should I just let him go?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2016 at 12:32 am

Hi Alejandra,

there’s no guarantee that he will come back after nc but nc helps in increasing your chances, because it’s human nature that he will miss you after this break up and he’s not expecting you to ignore him and improve.. so, that can help him think that you are moving on and that he will lose you if he doesnt act

Serah

October 3, 2016 at 8:26 am

Hi me and my ex were best friends since childhood. But 2 year bach v started falling for each other . Hez 3 years younger to me i m 26 he is 23. one day he talked to his parents abount him getting maried to me but they started emotionaly blackmailing him and forced him to get engaged to anothet girl. After that he has started tlking to him . He couldnt leave me and v were stil talking but i wasnt likin all this because it hurts me seeing with some one else. So i stoped responding him. And had no contact of 60 days. Aftr y0 days i replied to his txt and he was saying emotional thins and tht he cant live without me but he canot leave his fiance. So i am confused wat shud i do. I love him but cannot see him with some one else. I want him back in my life but dunt knw wat to do. Plz help

Serah

October 11, 2016 at 10:35 am

Thanks alot you hav helped me alot 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 4:52 pm

Thank you too! And you’re welcome!
Serah

October 9, 2016 at 2:58 pm

So means there is no chnace of him coming back to me ever? Any thing that can bring him back to me?. I reaally love him .
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 7:47 am

there are two ways.

You lower your value, and became his mistress.
or
You choose to be strong and risk losing him..

There’s a small chance that he will change for you, but only if you really stay strong. We get what we allow.. So, be strong in your standards.. So, that the wrong people will leave and the right people will stay.
Serah

October 6, 2016 at 6:31 pm

I am not talking to him any more. But he keeps on txting me and emotionally blackmails me tht he is guilty and hes not happy. And want me to tlk to him. But not leaving his fiance becoz of his parents and family. I duuno how to get him back. Wat shud i do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 9, 2016 at 2:22 pm

be strong.. he knows his emotional black mail might work so be strong.. If you really want to have the right guy in your life, be strong in your standards
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 9:26 pm

hi Serah,

he’s young..so, maybe because of that, he doesnt have the courage yet to stand up on his own. The best you can do is to not be his mistress or dont be friends with benefits.. because once he sees that you’re ok on talking to him and being sweet with him during this situation, then he wont do anything to change the situation.. if he can still talk to you and be friends with you even if he has another gf, then he might get the idea that he can just keep a secret relationship with you and not break up with his fiance..

Bonita

October 1, 2016 at 6:58 pm

Hi,

Okay so my 5 year relationship ended in Jan ’16. & I begged til Feb to make it work. We lived together & He moved out (his decision) finally April ’16. He had a new girl and everything & what little I found out through a mutual friend she has a whole new boyfriend now. I decided from advice from this wonderful team to do NC. Because of the situation it was decided 45-90 days was best. But the time came and I was preoccupied with my dad getting sick & soon after passing, so contacting my ex was the last thing on my mind. A couple of days ago in the Facebook message request inbox I realized my ex messaged me about a week ago! It read: “No need to reply, but just want to let you know you was right. I’m miserable without you just letting you know. No side agenda” – I am shocked and haven’t responded because I don’t know what to do or say next. Especially when the message said no need to reply. I’ve followed strategies so far, but what now team??

Bonita

October 27, 2016 at 2:37 pm

I responded & he hasn’t responded back on fb. His bday is coming up beginning of Nov. If I still don’t hear back should I say simply “happy birthday” in fb messenger since it’s been months since initial NC or since I’ve responded back to him Oct 6 I should start 30 day NC again
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 11:08 pm

why nc again? after that, after a week, you should have initiated a text to start a conversation, to build rapport. Why not do that?
Bonita

October 4, 2016 at 6:47 pm

Should i apologize for him feeling miserable?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2016 at 8:59 pm

nope..
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 4, 2016 at 5:53 pm

Hi Bonita,

Start over and be friendly.. take it slow.. get it to know each other again.

Sarah

October 1, 2016 at 5:29 am

I lost my shit on my boyfriend three days after we ended.
I caused him of being unfaithful because I had read some texts between him and another girl.
I don’t think anything happened while we were together but I sen’t him pictures of her that I found on the internet of her on skank.com. She is a complete slut and she continued messaging him despite hi having a girlfriend.
He thinks I am crazy and said we had something special and to leave him alone. He was angry at being accused of lying.
I am totally embarrassed by me reaction. Can he ever forgive and forget?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 3, 2016 at 5:17 pm

Hi Sarah,

in time he probably will but if you keep accusing him, then you’re just like fanning the flames..

Lola

September 30, 2016 at 7:56 pm

Hi i was in relationship for 2 years and we broke up about 8 months ago we had a beautiful relationship but also with so much fights we wanted to get engaged this summer but we split up I had some mistakes but also him he didn’t believe in me this was the reason that we broke up he thought i have cheated him but that is not true and i dont have how to prove him that is not true what he thinks. We saw each other every week talked laugh and he always hugged me and kissed me on my cheek he said that he loves me but he can’t be with me and then i was so tired of waiting for him so I wrote him a letter to say if you want to get back together tou have to come to our place and talk if you don’t want to get back together don’t come and forget me how i will forget you that you were part of my life and don’t talk with my family so I haven’t seen him for two months he came at my house he hugged me so hard and said that he missed me so much and stuff then all things were the same like 4 months ago so in august i called him and talked to him that i can’t do this anymore take a decision what you want to do because I can’t take this anymore he said I can’t never in my life forget you but I can’t be with you i said him i have called you to make a decision if we don’t get back together im going in another country he said don’t go and stuff that day i started nc rule he did not see me from that day his whole family came to me they give me a present I don’t know what to do can you please help me what do you think

Lola

October 6, 2016 at 1:09 pm

Yes but i had to come back for family reason. No he don’t belive in me but he was so happy when he heard that I come back but we didn’t see each other more than 1 month. What should i do ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 9, 2016 at 11:55 am

the best you can do is to just stop asking him and let him be…if you’re still leaving, it can be a restart for you..if he contacts you there, let him take the lead and just be friendly
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 3, 2016 at 1:09 pm

Hi Lola,

so he believes you now? When are you leaving?

Ana

September 30, 2016 at 9:05 am

He blocked me for no reason but before he blocked me the previous night he got upset cuz he wanted to see me backed on video chat n I wasn’t agreeing.I think its not my fault + he didn’t wanted a relationship with me we were friends he said n it was from 1year.In July start he blocked me but I haven’t checked it again n I don’t want to cuz it hurts but I think if he had he would’ve contacted me now its been 3months I didn’t contacted him.I think ignoring him is the best…….but he was sexually attracted to me a lot.I’m trying to forget him n move on but sometimes it makes me cry that how could someone become so cruel for no reason n forget all the good moments…..

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 1, 2016 at 2:37 pm

Hi Ana,

do you mean he’s trying to be friends with benefits with you?

Sarah

September 29, 2016 at 4:57 pm

My ex and I split this past week.
I did no contact for three days while deciding to end it. He was so upset that I blocked him.
I discovered he had been hanging around a woman half his age and in the past had been sleeping with her.
After I found this out I sent him texts letting him know I knew about her.
His response was we had something special, she meant nothing to him, and he hasn’t been around her.
I know for a fact that she had been texting him and calling him through out our ten months together. He changed her name in his phone. He says he didn’t tell me about her to protect my feeling and he was ashamed of being with her.
I know he phoned her the day we broke up.
H was angry with me for being insecure. I am now going to do he 30 day no contact. My question is. Will he ever forget that I was insecure? Or did my upset texting ruin it for good?
We both had a very intense connection to each other. I know he was faithful to me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2016 at 11:20 pm

Hi Sarah,

Uh, wait a minute. What did he mean by being insecure? Did he say that after you confronted him about him cheating? And his cheating affair is true right? It’s not your imagination?

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