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Dima Ugo
April 18, 2016 at 4:31 pm
Hi there, thanks so much for the excellent advice on here. I was dating someone, all was great for a about 7 weeks and then he went cold turkey. I finished 30 days no contact, sent him a message about something fun we had done, he responded immediately with some enthusiasm but then made a comment “too bad our thoughts are more permanent than relationships”. Then I wished him a great day, he wished me the same. I didn’t hear from him, so I waited 3 more days and sent him another text, I know that he is pretty attached to his phone, so I know that he definitely read it. I have no clue what to do now. I’m hopeful but lost. Please help! Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 6:33 pm
Hi Dima,
wait for a week this time because you’ve already sent after 3 days.. and then stay active in social media
Valia
April 13, 2016 at 4:36 pm
Hi, I was with my ex for 9 years when out of the blue three weeks ago he asked for a break. He said he was confused and didnt know if all he feels about me its just a routine or he really feels something about me – We dont live together nor said anything about it because we both have financial issues- . I also know he has commitment issues so in his mind moving in together means, marriage babies etc. and that freaks him out. I was trying to apply the no contact rule, even though he tried to contact me by calling me because he said that he feels at ease hearing my voice. On the day of my birthday,- three days ago- he text me, he messaged me on facebook and even came over my place to wish me happy birthday up in person. We talked and he said that he might fall out of love with me and that over the course of years we ‘ve lost our spark. I asked him if he was sure, he said no. I said ok, since you’re not sure we are not going to talk for a while and see where things will go, or we call it quits right away. He said ok ,as to not talking for a while and sort out his feelings. (He tried to convince me that for us its better if we kept talking and actually slowly put me into the friend zone). Is the no contact rule going to work for us now that he knows? I m on day 4 of NC.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 14, 2016 at 6:53 am
Hi Valia,
he doesn’t know until when, so it can still make him miss you.. but be active.. do fun things and change yourself up..don’t just stop talking to him..
Sam
April 11, 2016 at 5:24 am
Hi –
I have been in a relationship with a guy from work for about 4 months, things were great until i found out he was texting another girl from work who i know and know she fancies him, he denied it at first but then admitted it. He said they are just writing as friends and there is nothing going on, but they text everyday and i find it hard to believe him. I then caught him lying to me about where he was one night and he said he was home when he was not and then he just said he was out drinking but lied to me because of me being paranoid. I find it hard to believe him when he tells me he is not interested in her but still messages her everyday.
without breaking up with him, i have ignored his calls and text for one day.
What should i do?
Sam
April 12, 2016 at 4:47 am
Thanks,
So he came to see me and again told me i have nothing to worry about and that he wants me to trust him and has said he will tell me where he goes and who with as he does not want me to be worried.
What should i do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 13, 2016 at 8:20 pm
Trust him.. and then do your own thing.. Don’t spend your time worrying about him when there’s nothing to worry about, that’s being clingy..
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 11, 2016 at 1:26 pm
Hi Sam,
for me you did the right thing.. let him initiate and prve if he reallg loves you
Khayla
April 9, 2016 at 6:15 pm
Hi,
thanks for all the content on your site. It helps a lot.
Here is my situation. 6 years. He moved to my town and left job because of me. He couldn’t find work and finally moved back home to get some money doing seasonal jobs. So 2 years of LDR and an apartmant baught togeher in my town later…he left me in october last year. He said he needs time to think, that he needs to work on himself etc. I was crazy after that: called,texted, cried. Finally he said in january that it’s over (I pushed him to say it) i did nc and I started to contact him. First response was very enthusiastic howere all of his responses are neutral now and he doesn’t ask me anything, doesn’t initiate contact at all….we were never texting kind of people so I’m not sure if it’s that or what. We had a very good relationship. What to do now? Should I give up? Thank you for your help.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2016 at 8:41 am
Hi khayla,
Maybe you can transition to calls, it’s normal that after a long time of texting it would become boring that’s why it’s needed to transition to calls.. It’s ok that you initiate as long as you are the one who ends it. Rest for a week, pick a current topic that’s interesting for him, and then transition to calls at that time.. Are you still being active? Continue what you are doing during nc
June
April 7, 2016 at 10:10 pm
I was with my boyfriend for 2 years we split up about six weeks ago and spoke on and off arguing etc until just over 3 weeks ago a few days ago he text me so he had unblocked my number but text me a random text saying “yeah course man” I tried to reply to ask him what he was on about and he’d blocked my number already so wouldn’t of got the text I haven’t tried to contact him since and he hasn’t tried to talk to me although it was his birthday a few days ago and my mum text him on his birthday saying happy birthday he replied thank you so much we still haven’t spoke do you think I should wait and see if he tries to contact me again?
June
April 9, 2016 at 5:45 pm
Okay thank you:)
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2016 at 8:35 am
you’re welcome!
June
April 9, 2016 at 1:36 pm
Hi he’s just unblocked me on all social media I’m not sure if he has unblocked my number as the only way to find out is if I ring him and I don’t want to do that as I want him to contact me first do you think I should leave it a bit and see if he does contact me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 3:35 pm
For me yes, so it won’t seem to him that you’re just waiting to be unblocked
June
April 8, 2016 at 7:55 pm
So should I not try to contact him then and wait and see if he contacts me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 9:26 am
try to do no contact first,and then if you’re still blocked after that, set yourself a limit until when you would wait to be unblocked before moving on
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 9:10 am
HI,
Sorry for the late reply. If you haven’t been active for yourself, better to do that first since he blocked your number again..
Jess
April 6, 2016 at 6:36 am
Hi, it has been 45 days since I have done NC to my ex boyfriend. We had a great relationship at start but we fought continuously of his flirty nature.. I also has found he’s been in contact with an ex girlfriend before we broke up. He contacted me 2 weeks ago (almost 25 days after I started NC. I haven’t replied to him up to this point. There were no follow up messages after that. Is he sincere with his message or just keeping me as an option? Am I too late to message him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 12:29 pm
Hi Jess,
it depends on what he said.. and it’s hard to just rely on one message
Surveen
April 3, 2016 at 5:50 pm
Hi Amor..
I have done no contact for 45 days and today was my first message to him.. The response was really good..
Now when should I message him again?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 12:24 pm
if it was really good juay cintnue it and end in high note.. do the tide theory… if you had 3-4 good days, rest the 5th day..
Anna
April 2, 2016 at 9:10 am
Hey,
But what if I told him that I want no contact (because the friend thing didn’t work for me). And he was sad but wished me well. Isn’t it a different story and is it not silly now to contact him again a month later? 35 days have passed.. What do you guys think 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 5:36 am
You can tell him that you were not comfortable being friends then but now you miss him as a friend.. it will depend on the how or what the text is for it to be silly.. 🙂
Lilly
March 31, 2016 at 4:42 pm
Hi my situation is a little odd. We started dating a year ago and then a couple months into it he friend zoned me. Having feelings for him I stuck around and we did everything together just like a couple. Neither of us dated anyone else. He said he was in love with me but wants to be friends again. I didnt argue (we have never argued) I just told him that I would move on and that I would need time away from him to be able to do this. It has been 1 week with no contact from either of us. I am at a loss. I think if he missed me he would have contacted me by now. Help!!
Lilly
April 1, 2016 at 6:54 pm
I have posted a few pictures but so has he. There has still been no contact either way. We seriously never argued or anything. By now I would have thought he would have tried some form of contact. How long does it normally take for a guy to miss you?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 12:35 pm
It depends but sometimes even if a guy misses you, he will be stubborn about it
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 1, 2016 at 1:41 pm
Hi Lilly,
How are things now? Are you actively posting during no contact?
Elizabeth
March 31, 2016 at 2:37 pm
So I posted a few weeks ago about my situation, maybe you remember…
But anyways, I reached out to my ex boyfriend after 5 weeks and then an additional 3 weeks. I just asked him how his semester was going. He responded right away. We had a short conversation about what classes we were taking and that was about it. Then I asked him if he remembered how exactly he used to make a drink we often had. He helped me out and I told him to have a good night. A few days later I just said happy Easter and got no response. And a few days after that I couldn’t resist but to text him about how his game went. And I haven’t gotten a response. I am very confused as to why he is acting this way. I don’t think he could possibly hold that much resentment over the break up. It was actually a good, loving relationship. We had talked of marriage someday. I think it just hurts him to remember it all. But then that makes me even more confused why he ended it if he remembers all those good times. I think I need to get past his fear of commitment. He is very stubborn and thinks I can’t handle his lifestyle in the military. I just want a chance to prove that I can and that he doesn’t have to do it alone.
I don’t know where to go from here…
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2016 at 2:26 pm
Hi Elizabeth,
sorry for the late reply.. One last try, go silent for two weeks. If he still doesn’t reply, that means he really wont’ and maybe the better chance is when he is at the military or when he sees that you’ve really moved on and you’re just being friendly.
Shard
March 24, 2016 at 3:00 pm
My ex & I dated for 6 months . In the beginning it was great but then he would become distant . We had several high and low periods . Recently in our last month of dating we decided to move in together & for 3 weeks it was awesome , until I found out he has been lying to me this entire time & that he got another girl pregnant before he and I started dating. This whole time he told me he was going back & forth to see his sister but it was really his baby’s mother which explains why we had so many high and low periods . Now I’m not sure if I was the side gf or the main gf this entire time or both . Anyway , I broke up with him last week but he begged me to take him back & I did only for him to 4 days later tell me he doesn’t know how to handle this situation . I found out I was pregnant two days ago & invited him over for dinner to tell him the news but instead he stood me up and told me last minute he could not make it. I then sent a series of emotional text to him , his response was that I’m being dramatic and tripping. & one night of him not coming should not determine the outcome of our relationship. He now knows that I’m pregnant & he still has not come over , it’s only been two days but I feel almost like I’m in battle over his heart. He told me I was his soulmate but that his situation was complicated and he was sorry for lying . This morning I told him that I wouldn’t bother him anymore & that if he wanted to hash things out he knew where to reach me . . I now plan on initiating the 30 day NC, but at this point would it even matter ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2016 at 9:29 am
Hi Shard,
sorry for the late reply.. I hope he has talked to you
maricar
March 21, 2016 at 3:44 am
Hi, its really complicated me and my ex bf we were dating for at least 2 months and I was pregnant. So we decided to have an abortion because were still young i’m 20 and he’s 22 still in college and working. We went to the abortion clinic and when I was ready for the surgery they checked my Ultrasound first and they had to stop it because the baby is 3 month’s. I was so surprised and shocked that me and my ex bf thought it was 8 to 9 weeks. I didn’t know what to say to my ex bf until I said I was 3 months pregnant and the baby is not his because I had un protective sex with my other ex bf and he broke up with me. So my boyfriend broke up with me because he trusted me and I lied to him as well I also agreed in our break up to end even though we like each other. But we were so happy together we had strong feelings for each other and we broke up because of what i’ve done. So after that we havent had contact for at least a month and he still hasn’t contact me until yesterday I decided to to message him on facebook. But he unfriended me and other social media contacts. So i’m really upset beacause he has really moved on and doesn’t want me at all even though I do ….
maricar
March 21, 2016 at 6:41 pm
I’ve already had an abortion the day when he broke up with me so I don’t have the baby anymore and he knows that cause we had a talk and broke up mutual …. it’s been a month now and he unfriended me even though I miss him so much and want to talk to him
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 28, 2016 at 4:26 am
it will really take time..you can try to initiate contact to know if he still angry but the truth is it’s better to give it more time
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 21, 2016 at 11:13 am
Hi Maricar,
I’m aorry for what happened..but that’s a normal reaction from him..it would really take time.. it may even take a year.. but for now, if you continued with the pregnancy,talk to your baby’s father and focus on your baby.. further stress will be bad for the baby..
Jessica
March 17, 2016 at 2:50 am
He broke up with me, for really complicated reasons (it was also long distance, so even harder). But he was adamant he still thought I was a great person. After a few long break up talks, I finally just stopped trying to understand him and said I accept the break up – but I was in a fragile moment and asked if we could still talk, and he called me at that second and we spoke. He then started messaging me online every day after that, as if he thought we were now friends. I stopped answering, and did not answer for a little over a month. I didn’t want the contact. He saw I went on a trip recently and sent a “hope you’re doing well” message and I answered just to see. We had a pretty superficial conversation, he did most of the talking, and at the end he said it was really nice to speak to me. That got me really angry, because I don’t want him to be thinking he can have nice conversations with me. He wanted me out of his life! I am now conflicted: I definitely don’t want to keep talking to him, but should I just stay silent and forget about it, or should I tell him how I’m feeling, which is angry and that he shouldn’t be trying to contact me if he really wanted me gone? It’s long distance so there’s a slim chance of getting back together, and I’m not even sure I want that. I’m just asking more to find out which is gonna be more effective. If I stay silent, he’ll never know that I’m so angry and confused and hurt by him thinking we are now friends… but maybe being silent is even worse than sending an angry message?
Jessica
March 17, 2016 at 6:41 pm
well… i genuinely don’t know. i think he doesn’t know either, but if HE broke up with ME and still wants to be friends he’s obviously confused about something. i don’t know if it means he wants to get back together, and since we’re long distance he would have to REALLY regret his decision to start putting that effort in again…and i don’t think he’s there yet, or ever will be. i just think we can’t really be friends, because i still love him, and since i’ve already had a month of NC i just want to know if i should straight up tell him that we can’t be friends (since i never did that in the beginning, i did allow him to contact me and think we could remain friends) or just initiate the NC again and let him figure it out.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 5:11 am
It’s okay.. I’m just putting it there in case he asks but I agree that you should tell him that you can’t be just friends
Jessica
March 17, 2016 at 4:02 pm
Thank you so much for replying Amor! One thing – should I talk to him and tell him I”m uncomfortable being friends with him or just continue with NC for longer? I’m angry but I wouldn’t yell or fight, I would just say “I don’t understand why you’re still trying to be my friend, I think you’re confused and I’d like to know why you enjoy talking to me so much.” I think he does want to be friends for now but is that going to make him miss me more or just friendzone me/respect me less? …sorry for insisting, everyone says to not say anything but I’m really stubborn I guess!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2016 at 6:01 pm
It’s okay Jessica. I understand. It does sound not angry.. But if he asked what are you implying when you think he’s confused, how would you answer?
Jessica
March 17, 2016 at 3:27 am
just re read this and should clarify – after about three days he stopped sending anything, and we both were silent, until he sent the “hope you’re doing well” text. We spoke two days ago and I havent said anything since but he’s already sent stuff. It’s not like “i miss you” but just like oh I did this thing and it was good. Just like simple friend stuff. I think there is a slim chance of getting back together but I want to put myself in the best place for that to happen… I’m ok with it not happening. Basically, just to reiterate: I could stay silent and see if he changes anything in his talk, or I could tell him I don’t understand why he wants to be friends when he clearly didn’t want to be with me anymore. Is being more forceful like that going to help me or hurt me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2016 at 12:46 pm
Hi Jessica,
Anything said out of anger will most likely end in regret. You can say that you’re not comfortable being friends with him but saying that you’re angry will most likely push him away..
Maybe he wants to be just friends for now but if you’re angry, it’s better not to talk him for now
Lela
March 16, 2016 at 2:50 am
So my ex-bf broke up with me because he realized he only like me as a friend (we’ve been together for 3 months). Then, I did NC for 30 days, it was me the one who stop contact with him that’s why I decided to start a conversation again. I only said hi, he replied and started a trivial conversation. At the end he was clear he only wanted to be friends with me. The thing is that he is texting me everyday since then (2 days ago), we don’t talk about us anymore thou, he asks me irrelevant questions like: How is you mom?, how is work?, etc. My question is Should I move on or try something different to see if I can get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2016 at 8:25 pm
Hi Lela,
He friendzoned you.. during that no contact, were you doing itnas active no contact or just didn’t text him?
Heidi
March 13, 2016 at 4:11 pm
So, hello there. I was hoping for any advice on my situation that I can get. I met my ex almost a year ago. We are both very attracted and comfortable with each other. However, he suffered through a very traumatic and abusive marriage in the past and refuses to commit to another relationship and is still grappling with some internal issues from the marriage. I love and deeply care for him, but I feel like every time we make a bit of headway in our “non-relationship” we take 2 steps back. I just completed the 30 days no contact, and sent him a brief text to let him know he was in my thoughts. He immediately replied a careful, courteous answer. I’m not sure what action to take now. I have a happy, full life and want him to be a part of it, but am honestly getting worn out emotionally trying to take baby steps with him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 14, 2016 at 3:30 pm
Hi Heidi,
Just want to be clear, basically you’re friends and he doesn’t want to be in a relationship for a year now?
Christina
March 13, 2016 at 2:47 am
Hello Amor,
What’s the next step? I did the NC rule for 34 days and finally texted him. It went really well. I kept it short but every time I tried to end the conversation he continued to talk to me and coming up with new topics. We ended up texting all day and I loved it, until he brought up the past. It went down hill fast and now he’s upset and told me to enjoy the rest of my night. I didn’t try to argue back or anything, I told him to have a good night. He holds resentment from the past. I didn’t cheat or anything like that! Do I do NC again? Do I try again in a week? What do I do?! Please help!
Christina
March 13, 2016 at 2:13 pm
Thank you! Ugh, I should have done that from the start! You’re a genius.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 14, 2016 at 2:55 pm
Aww thanks! 😉 It’s just outsider’s perspective 😀
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 13, 2016 at 7:51 am
Give it a week for him to cool off.. You can try to say you’re busy wuth something so you have to go and then don’t reply, so you can continue the convo next day.
Elizabeth
March 8, 2016 at 8:47 pm
Hello,
I would really appreciate some advice on my situation. I have bought and tried some other programs, but so far I haven’t really gotten anywhere, so I am hesitant to buy this program…
My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little less than a year. Our relationship was very loving and we were both very happy. It went through many trials, but we always came out stronger than before. In the first few months of the relationship we were at the same school and became close very quickly. I then got to spend two weeks at his house over the summer before he left for another phase of Marine corps training. We had very limited contact (he only got his phone on the weekends), but we wrote many letters back and forth. We got to spend a little time together at the end of the 2 months before we headed back to school. This time I was in grad school about an hour away. Everything started out very well and we would see each other almost every weekend. He mentioned marriage and a family in the future and we were so in love.
Eventually I began to have problems adjusting at school and was under a lot of emotional stress. My situation wasn’t very good and I began to have anxiety and would sometimes be upset when he or I would have to leave, because he was my escape. He always tried to be very supportive and hated to see me upset. Finals were coming up and I was visiting him at his school. This was a mistake… He had work to do and I didn’t like the way he was acting towards me and my emotional state made it worse. So one evening he was sitting down after hardly spending quality time with me that day and I asked to sit with him for a minute. He said no, but I asked again for just a little time. I guess he had had enough of trying to always be there for me because he got rather upset, raised his voice and told me no (he had never gotten this upset before). Which made me really upset. We both tried to cool off a bit and I asked him to forgive me a while later. He did and then started to act more normal, but as the night went on he became more distant. By the morning he was hardly responding to me at all. Anyways later that day I tried to talk to him, but he didn’t really want to and said it would be best if I left, which I was already planning in order to give him space. So winter break came and he wanted time to think. I left him alone for about a week until he eventually reached out a bit. It didn’t start off well. He would just say everything that was going wrong. He said things like: I think we have grown apart, like we are just really really different people, I feel like you are trying to change me sometimes, and I am not ready to get married for a long time and I don’t think you are okay with that, driving back and forth is stressful. To be honest I don’t see the truth in a lot of those or they could be worked on. We were very close and I tried to tell him I didn’t care when we got married, that all I wanted was to be with him. I said I would be willing to work on everything and give him more space.
Eventually we started to talk more normally and I would even call him sometimes. I could hardly get him say I love you, except when we talked on the phone. It mad me very sad and probably in a worse state. We talked for about 2 weeks or so, but he slowly became more distant. Even though he did say I could come see him when he got back to school. About a week before that was to happen, he said we needed to talk when I came to see him and that I probably wouldn’t like it. I freaked out at this and it took me a bit by surprise. We texted back and forth and he would just say there is nothing he can say to make it better, and at one point asked if he wasn’t enough for me.
He came the next week and we talked for about 10 minutes. The only thing he really said was “our relationship isn’t working” and he said I couldn’t handle him being gone for 9 months to a year if he were deployed in the future. I tried to talk him out of it, but he is very stubborn and wouldn’t listen.
I did no contact for about 5 weeks after that. It gave me time to work on myself and gain perspective on the relationship. I had become needy and not myself and I believe it really hurt him to think he couldn’t do enough for me. I made him doubt that our relationship could work in the future if we had to be apart. So… after the no contact I tried to reach out a bit and followed the Text your ex back program’s advice and texted “Just played soccer and thought of the time we played and that guy kicked us off the field, but we snuck around and played anyways. That was a really fun day! Hope you’re doing well!” and the only response I got was “Hope you are too” I didn’t want to push so I just said I was good, but had to go. Following the program’s advice I texted a few days later “Listening to some Timeflies and I couldn’t help but think of when we almost got kicked off the train on the way to the concert haha. I’m glad I had you to make sure we made it! Thanks for always being there.” His response was “how do you expect me to respond to this stuff?” I didn’t know how to respond so I left it for a while but then he said “I don’t want you to send these anymore.” So I said “no harm intended, just thinking of you and hoping you’re doing well” He said not like that please. I said “sorry, some things just make me think of you” and his response really hurt. “That’s fine. you don’t have to tell me about it.” He was never this cold or mean during our relationship, he would show me nothing but love and respect before all of this happened.
So… now I am really lost and think I messed everything up. I realize I pushed too quickly and don’t know how to take that back. What do I do? I was thinking of trying to initiate contact in a week or so and just ask how school was going or something. It obviously still hurts him to think about the good memories, so is there any hope I can get him to see things can work?
I really love this man and would love to have him back in my life. And I know at one point he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I believe we are meant to be together. Please help me get the love of my life back!
Elizabeth
March 26, 2016 at 1:56 am
So…I did no contact again for about 3 weeks. I just texted him about school and had a very short conversation. He would ask about me/my classes but only after I asked him questions. He is still very reserved and not being himself. It is all very hard for me, but I tried to keep things light and act somewhat normal. My question is, when should I text him next and about what really? Because he doesn’t seem to like anything with much substance. Do I just keep slowly breaking down his defenses? very slowly…
Elizabeth
March 12, 2016 at 8:39 pm
Thank you Amor!
Sorry, I didn’t realize the other post went through.
I am just struggling to think that he still loves me. To me, if you really love someone like he said he loved me, he would fight to make it work. Do you really think there is a chance that he will ever see that things can work between us? He is so stubborn and it scares me that he will never look back. What do you think he meant by his texts? Was it just too painful for him to think of it all? If so, does that mean he may be regretting his decision a bit?
I guess I will take a little more time off and then just text and ask how he is doing or something.
Thanks again!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 13, 2016 at 6:45 am
hmmm.. it may be painful for him but there’s also the side that he sees your effort that you’re trying to get him back and he doesn’t want it yet. .
for me yes, it’s beter to try to move on without totally moving on
Elizabeth
March 11, 2016 at 5:09 pm
Amor,
I know my story is long, but I would really appreciate some insight on what you think his actions/words mean. I am planning on texting him tomorrow just to see how things are going for him. Is this a bad idea? It is the only place I know where to start. Honestly, no contact was easier than trying to figure out how to get him to feel comfortable talking to me.
Thank you!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 12, 2016 at 11:34 am
Hi
Sorry, I answered in your other post and forgot to copy paste it to the other one..But I’ll paste it here 🙂
Sonia M.
March 6, 2016 at 9:55 pm
Hello Amor! I’ve finished my 30 day NC! I’ve just contacted my ex today and I got a reply almost straight away! I just came back from Rome, about which he mentioned all the time when we were together and was telling me how beautiful it is. It was also Mother’s day in UK today so I decided to say how he was right about Rome being amazing and that I hope he and his mum (who is ill) are both very well. We started messeging about how we are and it was a very casual friendly convo. Later on he asked me if someone messeged me on FB, I’m guessing he refered to some girl, I answer that no one messeghed me and he just cut it short that its a long story so I said ok, no worries. Then he asked me what made me messege him, so I said it was Rome and mother’s day. Then I said there is another thing I wanted to ask – if he could post me a ‘Dance class’ package I have bought and left it at the house we used to live in. He got angry asking who am I planning to dance to it with..and that he has now very weird thoughts about me dancing with someone else. I apologies saying it wasn’t my intention to make him feel like that and that it’s fine, he doesn’t have to send it to me. HE just said don’t worry…and now I really don’t know what to do next?!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 8, 2016 at 11:26 am
Hi Sonia M,
in a way that’s god because he’s jealous.. did the convo end being both of you angry?
Meera
March 4, 2016 at 7:46 pm
Hi Amor,
I hope you remember me. I posted my situation here a month ago that we are into a long distance relationship. We used to live in the same city 4 months ago and I moved to my parents because i lost my job there. He broke up with me because of the commitment issue. He told me that his family will not approve me and he too is not sure about us. He also said that he wanted to be friends with me. Initially, I was calling him so many times and doing all the clingy stuff. But then I stopped doing all that and stick to no contact very strictly. When I started doing this, I observed him doing unusual things on Facebook and WhatsApp. I was on NC for a month and before, i could end it, I got his call and texts wishing me valentines day and sending pictures of roses. I replied just politely and didn’t show any previous emotion. After some days, when i was in my cousins wedding, I uploaded my picture in a traditional attire. He texted me after few hours that I am looking beautiful and we started chatting. Throughout the conversation, I talked very politely and tried not to sound emotional. He asked me to visit his city to which I asked why? He replied by saying “its been very long since u have gone”. Even he mentioned the date of our last meet. I felt very happy but still i don’t think i can go just like that and meet him. I think he should be more open about his feelings and reasons that why he want to meet. what do u think?
Also, I am aware of his nature that if i’ll start behaving sweetly with him at this point of time, he may again go back into his previous attitude. That’s why i don’t talk to him like before. I try to be normal and happy in front of him.
2 days ago, he texted me “do u remember me”? I replied “what?” He replied “did u forget me”? I said No. So he said ” u never ping me on your own”. I didn’t replied to this and instead i asked him other questions like how r u and all. Then throughout the chat, he was reminding me our earlier jokes. Lastly he asked me “whether i am angry on him?” i said No. He asked “sure?” I replied Yes. Then he said Good. In this way our last chat ended. what do u think why he is doing these things and what is going in his mind? And what should I do? please help.
Tiffany
March 4, 2016 at 6:05 pm
I dated a guy for 13 months before I got tired of his not wanting to commit. He wanted to keep me in a situation where he had the benefits of the relationship, but did not want to be in an exclusive relationship. I caught wind of some other women, got tired of his bull and walked out on the relationship. I didn’t just walk out, but I walked out with the two of us on good terms. he never saw it coming. The way he found out that i was finished with the relationship was when he noticed that I would not responds to of his attempts to contact me. I know it’s bad that I did not even give him a reason, but I didn’t feel like I owed him one, because we are not in a committed relationship. I believe actions speak louder than words. I did this before I stumbled upon this website. By the time I figured out there was a NC rule, I was already NC for 17 days. He has called, text, and even threatened to show up to my home. When he has tried to contact me he does it using several text messages, phone call and voicemails. He has sent pics of the two of us, messages saying that he loves me. Some messages have been very mean and hostile, but the most recent messages have been completely different, he’s been nicer and more lighthearted. I still know it’s best to stay NC. Is this really going to work for me? Also, what do I do if he actually just shows up to my house. It won’t be the first time that this has happened. I wonder if he finally realizes what we have, but I know that if I fail to complete the NC that trying it again will not hold any weight. Also, I don’t know what I want at this point, so this time apart is really good for me. I really hope for some feedback soon.
tiffany
March 7, 2016 at 3:01 pm
Amor,
I got to day 20 and he did decided to text me a picture of his new girl. It was the most malicious, vindictive, spiteful thing that he could’ve done. So, I decided not to respond. The picture was strategic, down to the location of the photo. I don’t understand what possessed him to want to hurt me so bad. If it was all that, he could’ve just walked away and left me alone.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 8, 2016 at 2:34 pm
either he wants to make you jealous or he wants you to move on
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 5, 2016 at 8:38 am
Hi Tiffany,
the only thing lacking is you didn’t talk.. contimue nc, just for 21 days.. if he shows uo, talk calmly and tell him why you distanced your self