The No Contact Rule (Version 2.0) - Ex Boyfriend Recovery

1,166 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (Version 2.0)”

Katie

September 4, 2015 at 1:25 am

Chris,

I am on day one of my NC sabbatical. My guy and I went away on an OS holiday and then both had to go away for work, where I am very uncontactable. But I did get an email (unthinkable) just last night telling me that he just has’t got those feelings and he’d like to be friends. A big surprise as a month ago it was “I love you.” I wrote back saying I wass a bit shocked and good luck with some future things coming up. I’d usually make plans to get my things back but I’m going to take your advice and leave that alone for now.

I guess at this point I have absolutely nothing to lose by doing a 30 day NC, but it is his birthday in exactly one month and I have been working on something for him I’d like to give him. Will that totally ruin the 30 day thing? Can I leave this present for him at his house without seeing him, or on the month is it okay to see him?

Katie
Kim

September 3, 2015 at 9:20 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up almost one month ago this weekend. We broke up on the phone since we were living far away from each other for the summer and I have not spoken to him since. While we never specifically stated we wanted to break up permanently he did say he thought it best we don’t talk for a while. I want to respect his wishes and since he was the one that wanted to stop taking so he could work on himself and his job/new life I am wondering if I should still be the one to make first contact. I miss him but have no desire to be pushy and make things harder for him. He claimed that he no longer felt the connection between us but I think it’s still there we have just been going through some big changes in both of our lives, meaning we have to put more thought into our relationship now than we did when we first started dating. I’m not sure how to reach out without pushing him away or waiting too long.
Ashley

September 3, 2015 at 5:42 pm

Hi Chris..
I have a pretty unique situation. My ex and I were engaged and he called off our wedding a week prior to the wedding. We had lots of issues, but basically my fault was that he felt I never appreciated him and Made him feel he couldn’t keep me happy (he worked a lot and had a very difficult time making time for us) I realize that by complaining I pushed him away. he reached out to me with and told me all the things him and I need to work on and where we went wrong.. I have also realized that I never really truly gave him credit.. we basically fought due to these reasons.. I reached out to him and told him that I still loved him and wanted to fix us as.. But he tells me that he doesn’t know if he loves me anymore or not.. He has a lot going on work wise and is emotionally tanked.. when I asked would he want to work it out he said he would but just not now or doesn’t know when.. I promised myself that I wouldn’t contact him for 30 days.. I know we had something special and we almost got married due to stupid fights we both messed up something that could have been amazing.. I keep thinking maybe he fell out of love and there is nothing I can do…. I want us to get back together and fix our mistakes because both of us very much committed to our relationship we just didn’t know how to communicate.. Please help me..
lisa

September 3, 2015 at 4:09 pm

Hi chris, it’s me lisa :p

and I was wondering… what do you recommend after the NC is done.. and we’ve messaged maybe 3 times in total and his replies were good and lengthy, but he doesn’t initiate messaging.. and I feel like my got instinct says he isn’t ready yet.. (same lisa) so we broke up august 6th..

i just don’t get it… i don’t want to ask him “so where do we stand, did you want to try us again?” because if he wanted me he would make it more obvious.. i feel like to him i may be too available? but i’m worried if i don’t message.. then he won’t.

thanks in advance!
DebatingH

September 3, 2015 at 3:53 pm

He broke up via NC round three. I waited a week and a half to apologized for my behavior which was minor. I accused him of not paying attention to me during an intimate conversation. It was during a stressful time and he went NC. I knew immediately because he always blocks me on Facebook, which I find odd because we aren’t very social on Facebook. He waited 12 hours after receiving my apology before he thanked me for my appology and then continued to tell how I falsely accused him and it could not be erased. I told him I didn’t think anything said or done could be erased. It’s been 30 or so days from my apology email and I noticed he unblocked me on Facebook for a day only to immediately turn around and block me back. I never went NGAT on him so I don’t understand his mind around the blocking and unblocking. I have not reached out to him since the apology. What is going on?
lisa

September 3, 2015 at 2:42 pm

Hi Chris,
Me and my boyfriend dated for a year… and 3 months ago he ended things. I really wish I would have read all of your articles 3 months ago when it was fresh but I am just reading them now and hoping that it is not too late to get him back… In our situation a few days after the breakup my grandfather became very ill and 2 weeks after passed away, he was very supportive through it all and I definitely needed him there, we talked every single day up until he passed away then a few days after he knew I was doing better he stopped communicating with me… he never gave me a reason as to why he broke up with me… it seems everytime we talk its new excuses that make absolutely no sense… but when he ended things he was not clear about it being a break up or a break, I thought he just wanted a little space which I gave him… and then 2 months later he sent me a text message saying he was sorry for all the pain he put me through but that it was never going to work, I thought that was his way of ending it for good so I got upset that he did so over text and called him for calrification when he informed me that it was never just a break and always a break up I proceeded to ask for reasons why and still did not get answers, its been 3 weeks now since we last talked and I found out yesterday that he is seeing a girl, in all the readings I have done this seems to be a rebound and so now I am wondering when would be the right time to contact him if he is seeing someone new and it has already been 3 weeks that we havent contacted each other?
A bit of advice would really go a long ways here!
Thanks for all the great tips, I now have an idea of what to say when I do contact him and I have been trying so hard to become the UG as well as finding my smile again so that he can potentially be mine again someday…

Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:29 am

What did you think of the post?

Did you read it all or just scan it?

Minnie

September 3, 2015 at 9:00 am

Sometimes I think that no matter hard I’ve tried to attract him, no matter I’ve done, it’s just simply that he has lose all his interests for me. He can be a good friend of mine, but can’t stand staying in a relationship. Something like he completely deleted me in his life and moved on. No follow on Facebook, no talk, no care at all. He seems really happy now with his friends and his own life, more freedom, more fun. He tries to find another girl and chases her but even doesn’t look back to see how I’ve changed to be better. I’m so scared that everything I do will just make him annoy. and push him away. Especially we had backed together once, and then lost each other again. So I don’t know how to convince him, how to show him my love or how to attract him. I myself don’t see any chances to get him back, but I cannot move on too because I still love him so much and just want to be in his life.

Minnie

September 9, 2015 at 6:05 pm

I am in no contact now. But I think that he doesn’t care about me anymore so no contact makes him feel lucky because I don’t bother him anymore. It doesn’t affect him and he will not wonder himself why I keep silent like that. It seems like he will never look back. He is now enjoying his own life happily without thinking about me. Will no contact be affect to him in this case like what you’ve research?
Anyway, how to do no contact correctly?
Minnie

September 8, 2015 at 12:35 pm

In addition, I don’t think No contact period is the most difficult part. What to do after no contact is too much harder and makes me really confused. :-<
Chris Seiter

September 8, 2015 at 3:53 pm

No contact is usually the hardest part for most people but after is tricky too. Read the post on Using Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back.
Minnie

September 3, 2015 at 2:56 pm

I am in no contact now. But I think that he doesn’t care about me anymore so no contact makes him feel lucky because I don’t bother him anymore. It doesn’t affect him and he will not wonder himself why I keep silent like that. He will enjoy his own life happily without thinking about me.
Anyway, how to do no contact correctly? It means keep silent and focus on improving myself?
Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:30 am

Right now yes.

Eventually during NC you will want to start preparing that first text message.
Chris Seiter

September 3, 2015 at 12:02 pm

You have to get him to start chasing you instead of that girl. You have to start with the no contact (make sure you do it correctly.) When you get through that part reach out again and I will help you further. 🙂

Jessica

September 3, 2015 at 8:31 am

Hi Chris,

Really love this site. Quick question – I am in 7 days into no contact and the only thing that is tying me to my ex is that I have a phone contract under his name (I live in his country). Should I continue no contact and get myself looking fabulous and contact him again after 30 days to give the sim card back, or simple post the sim card back to him and be done, though its essentially breaking contact?

Any advice would be great

Jess

Chris Seiter

September 3, 2015 at 12:04 pm

If he asks for the sim card back then yes you can break no contact to give it to him. Otherwise just hold on to it for now.

Leia

September 3, 2015 at 5:35 am

I would also like to ask you something because I haven’t found anything about that on your site (ok, I haven’t read everything). So, you are helping women to win their exes back (or move on) but is someone who rejected you once and put you through all that pain and misery and fell out of love, actually worth all that effort? How can woman know that he won’t do that all over again, even if she becomes ungettable girl? Does he deserve another chance? You are happily married and from that perspective, would you try to win back your wife if she said she fell out of love with you?

I keep wondering if he’s The One or I will spend my best years on someone who will leave me again. I’m 30 years old and I don’t want be in the same situation with the same person after two or five years. Ok, anyone could left me but this reminds me on that phrase “once a cheater…” only he’s not a cheater, just a man who obviously doesn’t find me amazing anymore (even though he is repeating I’m the right person for him but he is not in love anymore). I truly miss him and I’m sad but how can I know is he worth trying?

Chris Seiter

September 3, 2015 at 12:11 pm

That’s a great question, yes I would 100% win back my wife if she fell out of love with me.

If this guy is the man you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with then I’d say go for it. But if you have any doubts at all I’d say move on because at 30 years old you want to make sure your with a guy that’s not going to waste your time.

Maddie

September 2, 2015 at 8:12 pm

Hey Chris! So my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me about a month ago because my anxiety had negatively impacted our relationship and I had become very needy, and as you would put it a gnat. He said after a few months go by if im able to overcome my anxiety we can relook at our relationship and see if there is still something there. We ended up sleeping together a few days after the break up, and then 5 days later he messaged me and he apologized for all the times he overreacted and was rude to me. We then met up that night, my decision, and I stayed the night with him and we went to lunch the next day had a good time and we then decided to hang out and see where things lead. after a few good times hanging out I would get grumpy and try to talk about things and figure out why we weren’t just back together. Originally he said he just wanted us to have the time we needed to be better and not have our issues, and to figure out if we really should get back together. Well we kept hanging out and I got grumpier and he got more upset. And the last time I saw him he refused to talk to me and told me my anxiety ruins everything. Well I know now that I need time apart from him to take the necessary steps to overcome my anxiety. And so I decided to not talk to him and try nc for 30 or 45 days. For my benefit and his. But I’m scared I ruined everything with our last few interactions and my inability to let things go with the flow. We have slept together every time we hung out. And when I told him I didn’t want to sleep together anymore he said we would still hang out but that he’d have a really hard time because he was so attracted to me, and then we ended up still sleeping together because I couldn’t stick to it. I told him again I want to stop sleeping together when we saw each other and he said ok, but that was just before our last interaction. I’m nervous that he was using mind games just to keep having sex with me and didn’t actually want me back… He has told me he loves me still, sometimes reluctantly, and I still believe he cares about me, and is just upset with me for my behavior but I also don’t trust my own head to see things clearly. He refuses to cut things off officially even when I ask him to do it if he’s not serious about getting back together. so I’m going to do NC and see where that leads. Knowing that our last interaction really irritated him I’m worried he won’t try contacting me because he is fed up. Would I contact him after nc if he doesn’t contact me? And if so what would I say? Also how do I figure out if he really was just in it for the sex, or if he still loves me? I read the article about being to clingy and I’m going to focus on myself during this time, and even see if I can get over him. I just feel like without my anxiety things are so good between us, and even he agrees with that. I just don’t want him to be the one who got away.

Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:27 am

Actions speak louder than words.

So, if all of his actions point towards sex then that is probably what he wants.

However, just understand that ALL men have a sex drive and it is going to come into play at some point.

Lissy

September 2, 2015 at 5:16 pm

So glad you posted a calendar for the no contact rule! I would love some more articles on like keeping busy and stopping your mind from thinking the what if i did this instead of this in the relationship, and ways to worry less about what will happen after the 30 days are up, and less worrying while doing the 30 days. I am currently on day 15 (half way there), and im bettering myself (going to the gym, socializing with friends-we have lots of mutual friends, trying new hobbies and even doing so counseling). I just continually find myself thinking about him, the past together, what he is up to, and what will happen if we run into each other (which is bound to happen). Maybe writing some kind of article like this would be super helpful (like surviving no contact) or even giving some tips lol. I like the ungettable girl article, but it more explains what it is then tells how to do it. Thanks for all your help! 🙂

Chris Seiter

September 8, 2015 at 3:24 am

Thanks for the feedback! That is a great idea for an article. I will see what I can do for you.

Megan

September 2, 2015 at 4:37 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I broke up over a month ago after being together for almost three years. The week before we broke up, he had been telling me how much he loved me, that he missed me and told me how happy I made him. We had been going through some issues, and he was always the one to say he wanted to make it work, and our last week as a couple felt like a hard reset of our relationship. I was really confused and hurt after the break up. He said he wasn’t ready for commitment, after we’d already talked about a future together.
I started no contact as soon as I found your site, and 13 days in he messaged me about an aquaintance we knew. I had been doing well, having no desire to message him, but he said he really needed the name of this person. I replied and said I didn’t know, and it occurred to me later that he could have asked a number of people, but chose to ask me. After he found out the name, he tried striking up a conversation, but I just politely said I was heading to bed and to have a good night. He said the conversation was him trying to talk like “normal people” again, but let me go, and then he said he was proud of me for my weight loss journey (he’s been following me on Facebook) and then proceeded to make a joke and then kept trying to explain it, worried it didn’t make sense. I kept all my responses light and friendly, didn’t reply right away, and left it at that. The next evening, he told me about a job opportunity he was excited about, something he always talked about when we were together that he would call the turning point for when we could finally start our lives together, without roommates or parents helping us. I simply congratulated him, and left it at that. It’s been about a week since we’ve spoken.
My question is, should I restart NC for 21 days, or can I carry on from where I left off? I don’t feel like I came across as needy or desperate in my responses, and I’m feeling very good about myself and I believe that we will still have a future together. Any insight would be appreciated. 🙂

Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:26 am

Restart it!

It sometimes is easier that way.

montee

September 2, 2015 at 3:28 pm

ps I run into him in our cars and he has not tried to talk to me . a month after the last time we hung out which was a year ago 🙁 , I saw him while I was driving to my parents’ house and he looked right at me and did not even wave .
I don’t want to beat myself up but I’m kind of am for not handling this correctly 🙁 thx again
montee

September 2, 2015 at 3:14 pm

I dunno. I think in some cases its best to just lay low and let him come to you. I’ve been wanting to leave my story for you but haven’t had a chance to record it. but it haunts me. I don’t think the me reaching out after these three nc day options is the best. I feel like he has to come back on his own period.
I’ve been a wreck over our breakup for over a year now and I hate it . 🙁 he pursued me like crazy. I wasn’t sure . I did ignore him a couple times at the beg of our relationship when he did things I wasn’t keen on. and he literally messaged or called me every 30 min for 4 days once. or he’d be parked by my place. I always let things go. I got soft and surrendered to him pretty much. all he talked about was marrying me and bring together. after a while I started to believe it. so I let my guard down . then he started going back and forth saying he was very attracted to me but he was adamant about not starting a new relationship because he didn’t want to be monogamous. but then he would take his words back and beg me to see him. because of the way I feel for him. I did take him back . I just thought he was confused. but still wanted me.
then he made it official and even did a half kneel (sp?) when he asked me to be his gf. he told his ex which is another thorn. she was w him for four years and they broke up for 7 but he always said she was his best friend. but she did everything to sabotage us. leaving weird comments on his fb and constantly trying to get his attention. he’s a famous old skater. and she loves for everyone to know they were together. she even posts photos of his dog because it was a puppy when they we’re together.
when he told her about us she campaigned and put so much pressure on us. he said he was shocked by her . he was so grateful I was so calm about her behavior. I was confident about us then.
but then he totally cut it off. at first he kept reaching out to me but I did all the wrong things and all of a sudden I was blocked and now I was in pursuit. I still don’t know how I did that but a mutual friend kept saying to tell him I love him and the more I did the more he started to act different.
then I was totally washed out … but he came back many times.sometimes it was nice and sometimes he was drunk and a jerk. he said he had to be mean to me to end it.
then he ignored me for 6 months.
I reached out once. the first month .
he started to text me after that. but if I ignored his “hey” .. . he would lash out and send the meanest messages to me. I wrote him s letter via email telling him to stay away from me and not to contact me until he acts like the guy I know he truly is.
then nothing.
then I heard he had bad mouthed me. I told him off and again it wasn’t good. but a month or so later again he reached out.
four times he reached out over a few months and lashed out when I ignored him.
the last time was 3 months ago. it’s end August now but at the beg of May, after a not hearing from him for a few months, he sent me a photo via Skype because I’m blocked on his fb and ig and I told him I blocked him on my phone. he sent the photo on a sat night at midnight. I accidentally rejected the file and an hour later just said nothing came thru. then heard nothing at all. then 3wks later he wrote me again and started to lash out after I did not respond for 20 min … he said the photo he sent was “of my future mate and I” which I know is a lie. and makes no sense. after he went on and on for like an hour of being mean I sent a text asking why he does this… what was the point of making the effort. it did not end well then a but later I wrote him as a caring ex. that I did not understand this and. his coming back all the time to be mean . that I did love him even if it was a joke to him…that I wished him luck. for the first time in a year he started being nice. thanked me for caring . said he regretted not being nice to me. wanted to say sorry. said in all the efforts he’s making it would be more effective if he appealed to my importance (which I don’t really know how to interpret) and then he wrote “wow I just enjoyed/endured a brief sense of longing…”
maybe that’s when I could have been sweeter but I feel like that’s not enough. then as he used to do when we were together, he wrote a silly little poem but it was like very brief (I get this feeling he hates to be vulnerable w no positive feedback) … and the rest of the poem was just about me smiling at him.
but I wrote him s nice message again then removed him as a contact on Skype.
thing is I’ve seen him make huuuuuuuuge efforts w me like bringing me medicine when I had a cold right at the start of our relationship. I didn’t ask him to . he would sign everything w see you soon.
and because I was so forgiving before I don’t see me reaching out to him as a good thing. it must come from him.
but it’s been 3 months of nothing again. him acting like a teenager and now recently he’s been giving his ex all kinds of attention.
in my heart I feel like he has tried to reach out but he knows me and knows he tested me horribly. and that it will take work. I feel like the second I write him, all that I’ve worked for to get him to think about it will go to crap.
I wish I had done no contact at the breakup instead of acting like a crazy sad ex gf.
I guess I’m always wondering why he comes back to me and reaches out … if it’s just boredom. ? I feel like if someone said to F off and you still reach out there must be something more to than boredom. also I always tell myself if he was going to marry the ex , he would have in the 11 years he was w her. he knew he wanted to marry me the first wk he was w me and it really would wig him out sometimes that I felt like a wife.
I don’t understand him reaching out and then going into s drought.
this is a book and I’m sorry:)
I have never been in love w anyone as I am w him. we grew up in the same town and we were only together for 4 months … he was w the ex for 4 years.
I think that’s it.
I’m so sad here in this town that I’m leaving for a while. I really thought after the last contact that he was going to really try. even unblock me on social Media. I know he looks at my fb and ig.
I’m so confused by his behavior. I’ve never had a guy try so hard and then mess it up like he did.

sorry for the long comment and maybe you can use it as topic … thank you soooooo much for your blog. it just helps to make me feel better when u read it 🙂
best!

Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:24 am

Ok, you are going to have to help me out a bit.

Can we condense this and maybe just ask one question at a time.

I am very overwhelmed at the moment.

Leia

September 2, 2015 at 2:41 pm

I’am currently on day 10 of NC and he contacted me only once last week. He was very emotional about breakup, he cried for days even though he dumped me and now I can’t shake this feeling that he has moved on. I’ve made a huge mistake, I unfriended him on Facebook and than he activated his other profile and I unfriended that one too.
I was kinda needy during our relationship but I’ve handled breakup very well, better than him but I’m not sure if I have chance with him anymore.
We were in LDR and I still have plans for moving to his city (not because of him, I’ve had that plan before our relationship) and I am moving in October so I will probably see him in person. But I’m scared that he will be mad and not want anything with me because I unfriended him and cut him off my life completely.

Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:22 am

Day 10 is pretty deep.

I am assuming this breakup was pretty bad.

melissa

September 2, 2015 at 2:00 pm

Hi Chris,

I’ve left a couple of messages on your other posts, so I’m hoping you’ll respond when you can 🙂

What if he said that we should cut contact for awhile and has completely shut me out? I know he has blocked me on Facebook and Instagram, but I don’t know about email or phone.

melissa

September 2, 2015 at 2:01 pm

PS. He broke up with me about a month ago.

Brittany

September 2, 2015 at 12:40 pm

Hi Chris!

Your website was referred to me by a friend. I have found it very helpful. I am currently on day 3 of the no contact rule. I am fresh out of a 7yrs relationship. This is the 3rd time we have broken up, everytime we have broken up, I have been the one contacting him and initiating conversation, this time I stopped. He did break up with me, I don’t know if things are going to work out, I’d like to think they will. The no contact rule is hard, do you have any advice for me to speed up this process?

Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:21 am

I love it when the word of mouth brings me new visitors.

Welcome Brittany!

Sorry for the late response we just had a baby (my wife and I) so still trying to figure our schedule out.

Have you crafted your own little calendar yet?

No Contact Icelandic girl

September 2, 2015 at 12:10 pm

Hey Chris !! THANK YOU !

I implied the no contact rule on my boyfriend who broke up with me in a long distance relationship.
Before we were talking about marriage, babies, moving in together and all that stuff so it really came out of the blue.
The day after i found your website and I read it back and forth.
I really thought about the reasons why he broke up with me, it seemed like he hadn’t thought it through and he
was basically overwhelmed with out situation.
Only problem was that when he broke up with me he had already bought a ticket for me to visit him 3 weeks after.
I did the no contact rule and worked out, changed my hairstyle and did everything you recommend doing during NC.
He contacted me during the NC and said he still wanted me to come and see him.

I visited him three weeks after and things were great. He said he noticed the change and he even mentioned that when I didn’t talk to him afterwards for such a long time he really started to think if he had made a mistake and he thought I was completely over him – which ultimately made him want me back. (his words, not mine)

We are seeing each other again now, taking things slowly since we’re still in long distance but I’m going to visit him again now in two weeks. I honestly don’t know where I would be without your website, it gave me hope when I felt like giving up and even helped me “get over him” which is important for it to work. As soon as I started to feel and express myself in a way that showed I didn’t need him and I would get a better guy, things started turning my way. But you can’t force it, it has to come naturally and it’s easier once you follow the rules of NC.

I still read your site for information and advises and to all the women out there I just wanna say STICK TO THE NO CONTACT.
It’s really the way to go !
Thank you again Chris ! 🙂
MissT

September 2, 2015 at 8:43 am

Hi Chris, me and my ex broke up 9 months ago and recently he started texting me saying he misses me and that life is hard and difficult for him. I still love him and want him back but I dont want to come too obvious to him. So, when he texted saying he misses me I just said “thats nice, how have u been”. He replied back saying life has been harsh to him. And then sent a memory text and then he responded positively. I want him to put more effort and tell me what he wants cos i dnt want him to string me along. What do u think I should text him for him to be comfortable and open up?
Thanks
Chel

September 2, 2015 at 3:42 am

Hi Chris! Ever since my ex broke up with me let’s just say that your site has attracted me and I have been browsing it constantly since. Your no contact rule was the first thing that I noticed and applied to myself. I’m going to try to make my story short (hopefully!) So basically I was in an LDR for roughly 5 month with my ex. Before we were official we have been talking daily for 4 months and getting to know each other. We’ve met quite a few times during our relationship as we were only 5 hours away from each other so it was doable. After our 4th meeting (which actually lasted 4 days and I stayed over in his house) we were still good but he was getting distant again (he had been becoming distant before that as well which resulted in our ‘fight’ several times) then not even a week after our 4th meeting he broke up with me suddenly and stating that he had been reflecting things and thought we were just way too different and he said he “guessed” he didn’t really love me (although I did ask him if he did love me and he answered that). Anyway, so I did try the no contact rule for 2 weeks so I can wane myself off him so to speak and it did work. But I contacted him after the 14th day since he did state that he wanted to remain friends and I do too. Frankly I don’t want him back I just actually wanted to be friends with him because I felt that we were good friends before we became official. He replied but only in monosyllable answers. So I figured he still didn’t want to talk to me maybe. So I waited another 4 days. Left a text to him but was not exactly looking for a response. He did respond the next day though so I saw this as him initiating the contact so we did have a little bit of convo. So every few days or so I’d text him small things but I did also tell him I didn’t want to get back together with him or anything but I missed talking to him. He never replied but I saw that he read my message. This is where I get confused. Before we became official, we did promise to each other to become friends if we didn’t end up together and he did state he wanted to be friends with me when he broke up with me. However, he gives me the cold shoulder when I message him. He would message me back but in monosyllable answers or sometimes he won’t respond. So what do you think Chris? Do you think that I should just cut off contact altogether? I just really want to know what he could be possibly thinking as to why he gives me the cold shoulder. It’s always been really hard to read him as he’s private and used to being alone I suppose. So it’s even harder now to do it. I think that I should stop trying to reach out to him but I’m thinking, if he really did not want anything to do with me anymore then why would he still answer my message from time to time? He didn’t have to but he did the next day and actually initiated it even though he just said hi. So at this point I’m kinda lost as to what to do. I do admit I miss talking to him even though I don’t want him back simply because he’s become the comfort for the past 8 months that I guess I didn’t want to lose. Your thoughts are appreciated!

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