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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Ungettable Girl
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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Post categories
struggling
May 3, 2017 at 8:55 pm
hi, so i have finished no contact and have sent the first message already. One of the texts where something funny happened in my day and that it made me think of him for the first time in a while and i wished him well. But he responded really polite saying thank and he hoped all was well with me too. Should i continue to text him because it was kinda hard for me to come up with texts that would grab his attention and it looks like he’s uninterested.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 4, 2017 at 2:50 pm
How long did you do no contact? How much did you improve and how active were you in posting? Why did you break up? It takes time to build rapport..check the link below for texts:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
BE
May 3, 2017 at 8:55 pm
hi, so i have finished no contact and have sent the first message already. One of the texts where something funny happened in my day and that it made me think of him for the first time in a while and i wished him well. But he responded really polite saying thank and he hoped all was well with me too. Should i continue to text him because it was kinda hard for me to come up with texts that would grab his attention and it looks like he’s uninterested.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 4, 2017 at 2:50 pm
How long did you do no contact? How much did you improve and how active were you in posting? Why did you break up? It takes time to build rapport..check the link below for texts:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
Help
May 2, 2017 at 2:00 pm
my ex told me he wanted to ba alone for a while , I became pushy and he said to move on & ignored my last two texts that day . I started nc and haven’t heard from him , that was 3 days ago .
I was going to buy something from one of his friends in a couple of days , which I was already going to do before the break up .
I don’t have his friends number anymore is it ok to text and ask him for it ? Is that breaking the nc ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 5:51 pm
if that’s really the only option and you only talk about it, its not but if you can get it through other friends or social media, you’re breaking it
Janet
May 1, 2017 at 6:54 pm
So I took the advise from an EBR team member when I had guestioned about contacting my ex boyfriend after nearly a month of NC on both sides.
As I had stated in that question that I did not want my ex boyfriend back, just the friendship that we had for over 10 years before we decided to actually become a couple.
So as the advise I was given was it be OK for me to contact him first to try and reasblish the friendship. My 16 year old daughter had just been awarded a certificate from the National Technical Honors Society.
I decided I would try and inniate contact with him by sending him a very short email telling him about her achievement along with 2 pictures of the ceremony.
He replied with in 5 minutes and said “did I give you the impression that I give a s**t”
So I just left it at that. Don’t know what to make of that reply, seeing how he was really into my three children as I was his son.
I guess I know where I stand at just trying to be a friend. Plus I realize his level of immaturity. I was expecting a more adult response like “congrats” or “thats awesome” something a little less child like. I feel there is,no longer a need to contact him.
Thanks for that advice …at least I can’t I didn’t try.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 6:33 pm
yeah.. that was disrespectful of him.. move on from him but congrats to your daughter.
Jadyn
May 1, 2017 at 5:04 pm
The more and more I think about the situation and the more I talk about it with friends and family the more I am thinking he is just having cold feet. We were looking at buying a house, his niece called me Auntie recently, and I mentioned the thought of marriage. If cold feet is the case, do I follow these rules still. Is there any adaptations I should make to the NC rule and then first/second contact etc.? I am on day 14 of NC. We will both be at a meeting together on Wednesday and we have a mutual friends graduation gathering on Saturday. Thanks for your time. Everyone at ExRecovery are awesome!
Jadyn
May 3, 2017 at 5:20 pm
So I attended the meeting that my ex and I both have to attend. I dressed to impress and made sure to keep very into the conversation with the topic of the meeting. According to my friend he kept staring at me from across the room. Towards the end of the meeting was my chance to bring up my issues. I did, and my ex was the first to speak up and agree with me to the rest of the group. Then after the meeting he helped me with this issue very kindly. We spoke but it was strictly business. Today marks day 16 of NC. I will be seeing him again on Friday at a mutual friends gathering. It will be hard to keep things strictly business here but I feel very confident in myself. I feel like I am achieving the ungettable girl. I do however still miss him and I haven’t got enough courage to ask to see my dog. After the meeting its seems like there is hope to save the relationship. Should I thank him for helping me and ask to see the dog? or do I wait and see how the next few days play out?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 3, 2017 at 8:13 pm
it’s ok to use that as intro for scheduling for your dog.. just keep it about that
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 6:21 pm
the more you should do nc because you have to imply that you have your own great life and it’s his loss of he doesn’t want to be with you
Jessie
April 24, 2017 at 7:54 pm
My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago, after that I have insisted on making him answer the reason and trying to work it out. However, I came across this site and implemented the no contact rule for 7 days already. Now I wonder if I still wants him back or not? Is it normal to think so? Should I move on? What if I move on and he comes back one day?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 29, 2017 at 8:37 pm
The last question will depend on you.. Finish nc first, if you want to move on, move on..
Jadyn
April 22, 2017 at 7:27 pm
Is it ok for me to still talk to his/our friends? What about his parents. I came across something on Facebook that I immediately thought about his mom. Is it ok to tag her in it? Or should I be refraining from that too?
Jadyn
April 30, 2017 at 6:21 pm
Ok. SO whats the best way to go about it… What if i get to his house and he wants to talk? I can’t just ignore him. What if he wants to talk about the break up, or just about how i am in general? In both cases how should it be dealt with? I know you are only suppose to talk about the dog but what if he wants to talk about more?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2017 at 11:18 am
just give short direct answers politely.. just listen and agree if he talks about the break up
Jadyn
April 29, 2017 at 11:41 pm
I completely moved out, I’ve had no contact for 12 days. I miss our dog. Am I allowed to go there to see the dog? It may seem silly but I don’t want my dog thinking i’ve abandoned him. At the same time I don’t want to break the NC yet. But my dog…. I want my dog. My ex has the house (granted he owns it), he has our friends, he has everything… I miss my dog and our friends. Is it ok to make arrangements for me to take the dog for a walk or something.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 12:37 pm
yes, it’s ok to talk to him to schedule meetings with your dog..
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 28, 2017 at 5:58 pm
It would be better not to talk to his parents too and his friends for now..so that you wouldn’t look like you’re checking up on him.. He’s probably confused about his decision..leverage that by focusing in yourself in healing and improving and being active in posting..
Laura
April 18, 2017 at 3:28 pm
I am currently doing the no contact rule which will be over in a week but i mentioned my ex and a few of my friends in a facebook comment do i need to start over?
Laura
May 2, 2017 at 4:25 pm
What if he doesn’t reply after a week
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 2, 2017 at 6:11 pm
dont send that kind of text..it looks like you’re begging for attention..check the links below for texts. wait two weeks before trying for the last time.
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
Laura
May 1, 2017 at 8:14 pm
what do i do if he doesn’t reply again?
Laura
May 1, 2017 at 4:34 pm
a week after it ended i sent a message saying “hey, sorry to bother you but may I please ask how you’re doing? i’m just curious” he saw it a few days later and didn’t reply
Laura
May 1, 2017 at 4:32 pm
a week after it ended i sent a message saying “hey, sorry to bother you but may I please ask how you’re doing? I’m just curious.” he saw it and didn’t reply again
Laura
May 1, 2017 at 4:25 pm
i was also told he needs more space and i will give him all the space he needs
Laura
May 1, 2017 at 4:20 pm
what should i say and what should i do if he still doesn’t reply
Laura
April 24, 2017 at 7:55 pm
The no contact period ended three days ago I sent him a video over facebook and said ” hey, i saw this and thought you’d find this hilarious” he saw it the next day and he hasn’t responded. How long should i wait to contact him again. Sorry i didn’t see your reply till today
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 29, 2017 at 8:21 pm
You need to wait a week. If he still doesn’t reply, wait two weeks before trying for the last time.
Laura
April 24, 2017 at 7:47 pm
The no contact period ended three days ago and i sent a video over facebook and said “hey i saw this and thought you’d find this hilarious” he saw it the day after and didn’t reply. How long should i wait to contact him again? sorry i didn’t see that reply till today
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 22, 2017 at 3:41 pm
Restart the no contact period and click this link:
The Ungettable Girl
Laura
April 18, 2017 at 3:27 pm
I’m currently doing the no contact rule it will be over in about a week. I mentioned my ex in a comment on facebook with a few of my other friends do i have to start all over?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 22, 2017 at 3:42 pm
Restart the no contact period and click this link:
The Ungettable Girl
Christina
April 17, 2017 at 12:24 am
I met this guy online, we talked for a month and a half before we met. The night we met and for 6 weeks after that, we spent every night and day together…except when we were working or when I went away for 5 days. Since the day we met face to face, he always had to have physical contact with me….to the point where his hands would look for me while he was sleeping. We used to sit on my couch and just kiss and star into each other’s eyes. He said more than one time, “how did we get this far, this fast?” His last day with me he was 5 hours late to work and acted like he didn’t want to leave me. He texted me till I went to sleep, he had gone out with his buddies for a bday. I didn’t hear from him and started to get worried, I started texting him. After the 4th day I sent a text asking if he was ghosting me, what did he want me to do with his stuff. He said toss it. A week later, I’d texted him angrily a couple times…he responded and told me to move on and that he had, as well aswhat we both want is diametrically opposite. He didn’t text after that. I miss him. I don’t know if I’m blocked or he’s just ignoring me. My last texts to him were a week ago telling him I forgave him and missed him and all his perfect imperfections. No response. But I didn’t expect one as I thought I was/am blocked. WHat do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 22, 2017 at 9:41 am
Start the no contact rule and check this one:
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Ghosted You
Libby
April 14, 2017 at 9:43 am
I’m on day 4 of no contact and I was just wondering about something. Me and my ex have always talked primarily through Facebook messenger. If he sends me messages, should I open them (meaning he can see that I’ve read the message) and not respond, or should I just leave them unopened (so he can’t gauge whether or not I’ve actually read them, only assume). I’ll still be active on Facebook and post stuff on ‘My Day’ on messenger (which he looks at) so he will know I’ve been on the app and that ive probably seen the message and just not opened it. Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 16, 2017 at 8:52 am
it’s ok whatever you choose just don’t reply.. if you want, use a third party app that lets you read the message without letting him knows that you’ve seen it.
M
April 13, 2017 at 1:02 am
So I started the 30 day no contact rule a couple of months ago because he ghosted me. It worked with all your advice. He came back to me but only for a week or so. He had initiated contact. We got physical agian and then he ghosted me again right after. I sent him three texts with no response. I’m on the 45 day no contact rule now (2 weeks in). I bumped into him once already but I pretended like I didn’t see him. Is this what I should do? How do I initiate contact after 45 days? Why is he doing this? It’s so hard and confusing. Sorry if I posted this twice. I use couldn’t find it so I tried to post it again.
M
May 4, 2017 at 3:02 am
Okay, so I saw him and we chatted in person. I could tell he wanted me there and tried to get my attention for me to come over to chat. So the next day I sent a funny and then nothing. No reply. I don’t get it. Maybe he’s seeing someone else? Maybe he’s changed his mind? In person he seems fine but not through text (he used to reply). You reply more then he does! Thank you for that.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 4, 2017 at 3:27 pm
What’s more apoparent is that he doesn’t want to talk.. He did approach you, but he doesn’t want to have a connection.. If after two weeks, he still doesn’t reply after you initiate, you have to move on
M
April 30, 2017 at 10:17 pm
Me again! he replied to the first contact message twice in the same day. Success! I sent him two texts to him the day after on day two and now no response. I’m on day three of no texting. Should I continue to send a funny on day four or forget about him? It seems so hard. Im feeling defeated. I risk him not replying again and then it’ll feel like he ghosted me again. Maybe I should give it a break or continue?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 1, 2017 at 11:40 am
it’s ok to take a break if you want to
M
April 27, 2017 at 11:24 pm
No, I didn’t give my number to his friend. He’s super hot though! His friend gave me his by email and told me to message him anytime on his cell. I didn’t respond to him, it’s been a week now. I didn’t know what to do so I did nothing. I could still message him just saying I was on vacation and sorry for not getting back to him. I think you guys have totally helped me achieve the inheritable girl. I just don’t know why my crush hasn’t contacted me. Now I’m at the final stages of the NC with my crush and will send a text or visit soon. What do you think?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 8:20 am
Build rapport with your crush first.. it would be confusing for you if you try to build rapport with both of them.
M
April 21, 2017 at 2:08 am
Okay, so now by doing nc with him and following the ungettable girl guide.. I’ve now got a fellow college of his interested in me and he gave me his number. I don’t know what to do now. I don’t think his college knows we were together. Do I give him my number. I don’t want to look like I don’t like my nc guy anymore and look like I’m going after his friend but I want him to see the competition. Maybe they’ll talk about me? And the original guy will see how ungettable I am? Maybe I should tell the new guy I just want to be friends? Maybe I should ghost his friend and it’ll get back to him. I don’t want to seem like a s**t.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 26, 2017 at 4:32 pm
Did you give your number?
M
April 14, 2017 at 11:28 am
What should I do if I need to contact him for work purposes before the no contact rule is over?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 16, 2017 at 8:55 am
that’s ok.. just keep it about the work only.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 13, 2017 at 6:31 pm
you can still use the usual first contact message, just don’t sleep with him right away. take this as a restart and take it slow in building rapport.
Anya
April 7, 2017 at 3:32 pm
So, I started the no contact rule about 10 days ago, but there is a problem. Me and my ex had a cat together, that was going to be mine after the breakup. Now she is sick (the cat) and I have to negotiate this with my ex, as the cat is still living at his. It looks like she isn’t going to make it and I’ve had to message my ex a lot about coming round to check on her, giving her meds and whether he would like to say goodbye before I take her to the vets. I have only spoken to him about the cat and he has been minimal and neutral in his answers. Should I count this as no contact or start no contact after this is over?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2017 at 2:52 pm
nope, as long as you only talk about the cat..
alexis
April 5, 2017 at 11:18 am
my ex dumped me almost 3 months ago but we had to live together after the BU (i have now moved out since). we maintained a roommate relationship during those months but i still had moments of anger and depression and became a GNAT once or twice. i know i definitely annoyed him when i lashed out. we have a child together so can i still use the adjusted NC rule, even if its a few months after the actual BU?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2017 at 7:24 pm
Hi Alexis,
yes you can still do it.. Check this one:
Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together
Mystic
April 2, 2017 at 11:58 am
Things were pretty intense last night with my male friend. We’ve told each other we love each other, he says he wants to wake up next to me and that he wants me to be his soul mate. He asked me what I’d say if he asked me to marry him.
So after being so close last night ( no we weren’t having sex) I wake up to a text from him saying that last night scared him and he needs “to behave a little bit”. Should I do no contact on his ass? If so, for how long?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2017 at 4:12 pm
Hi Mystic,
I think you need to pull away a little bit.. just two weeks of nc
Rasa
April 2, 2017 at 4:14 am
My boyfriend and I have been broken up for 3 weeks. Only together a few months, no major problems, but we’re both highly sensitive, were stressed out, and basically had a bunch of small miscommunications that led to him breaking up with me. He says it was too fast and him, not me… yeah right! But, my mind has jumped to a thousand reasons, of course, one of which could be he isn’t over his previous gf… who is dating someone new. Night of the breakup, I asked about a later future (should not have done that….) and he said yes. Since then, we have stayed in contact every 3-7 days; he texts me first (inside jokes, happy job news, etc) and I respond, but keep it ultra light and short. The two times we’ve seen each other there is chemistry and the first time he hugged me really tightly for a long time, kissed me on the cheek on the way out of the hug, stared in my eyes and smiled like when we first were dating. Second time was in public and around my kid, so super friendly but no PDA. Should I do NC at this point or should I just keep up the pleasant banter? I don’t want to be in the friend zone (though, I would consider that much later if things don’t work), but I don’t want to discourage the positive energy which is basically the goal of NC… Also, if I do NC, what to do about read receipts? The mode of communication we use does not allow me to turn them off.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2017 at 12:59 pm
Hi Rasa,
I think you should keep seeing him, maybe for another two weeks. If he still doesn’t ask for you back, do nc.
Kyp
April 1, 2017 at 1:52 pm
So a couple days before I sent that text (after nc) I noticed he had this post about him and her fighting. Well I was originally going to text that day but after seeing it I figured it wasn’t the right time. So I sent it a couple days later. Again no I didn’t get a response but throughout this week it seems like he was posting some of the same stuff as me. Even going to a couple of pages he knows I follow ,but he doesn’t, and shared from there. Normally I don’t pay attention to what people post but something I’ve noticed about him is that he tends to communicate through posts which is the only reason why I say anything at all. A couple days ago I noticed he had a couple strange posts. One mentioned about not having to be mad all the time. I wondered if it was aimed at me cause again that’s how he communicates and it seemed like a strange one to post and I was mad a lot at the end of our relationship and the other was one that with how it was worded made me wonder if he was having a rough day. Later on in the day I saw that he shared a video I posted. I’m not trying to make something out of nothing I’m really not but again that is how he communicates I’ve noticed. I know it wasn’t aimed at her cause he would find something with “bae” in it and I know it wasn’t about him so it made me wonder if it could have been aimed at me. If so why did he share my stuff hours later?
I started thinking about why he might not respond to texts and my mom told me it might be because I accidentally challenged something he said once. I totally didn’t mean to I really didn’t but I was still very emotional and upset by the breakup it just slipped out. Now she thinks he might not know how to talk to me. As I said I didn’t mean to it was an accident but how do I get him to trust talking to me again? I’ve wanted to take the posts as a good sign that maybe I’m sorta getting through to him but I don’t know.
What do I do to get him to talk and trust me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2017 at 2:46 pm
yes, it’s a good sign but dont react it if you want him to communicate better with texts. Just initiate fun conversations.. because if he noticed that you’re looking at his posts and it affects you, he’ll use posts more than talking to you
Kyp
March 31, 2017 at 7:15 pm
Something I have noticed after I sent that text (after the nc) is there’s been a few times where he’s shared some things that I’ve posted. No he still hasn’t texted back but he has been doing stuff on facebook. Normally I wouldn’t think too much of this but something I’ve learned being with him for 3 years is that he tends to communicate through posts. Awhile back he posted this one negative one towards his new girlfriend and she didn’t take kindly to it. Yesterday he had a couple of weird ones. One seemed to be him maybe hating himself (just because how dark it was and how it was phrased) and the other I wondered if it was supposed to be aimed at me because it had to do with being mad all the time and towards the end of our relationship I was. Hours later I noticed he shared a video I posted. I’m not trying to look too much into things but as I said I’ve come to learn that he does tend to communicate through posts so that’s why I’ve been looking to see what he posts.
Just a few days ago too he had this post that was basically telling people they had been fighting and he was letting friends read the messages. So I don’t know what to think about this. I don’t know if the no contact did anything with him or not
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 2, 2017 at 2:46 pm
yes, it’s a good sign but dont react it if you want him to communicate better with texts. Just initiate fun conversations.. because if he noticed that you’re looking at his posts and it affects you, he’ll use posts more than talking to you
ToriAnn R Manning
March 31, 2017 at 6:05 pm
Hello im on day 20 of no contact and my ex has tried to reach me 3 times 1 via text and 2 via fb messenger asking me to block him to help him move on what should i do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 31, 2017 at 10:23 pm
Hi Tori,
Ignore it..
ToriAnn R Manning
March 31, 2017 at 5:58 pm
My ex keeps texting and sending my fb messages asking me to block him on facebook to help him move on what should i do?
ToriAnn R Manning
April 7, 2017 at 12:45 am
I did as you said and . he lashed out texting me saying ” I guess u not caring about doing me this solid to help me move on” I didn’t reply. I’m just having a hard time understanding why hes acting this way.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2017 at 3:52 pm
that’s normal.. let him be.. the ony reasons you can break nc is if he asks to get back together or to only talk about important things, like if you have kids.. but only talk about that..other than that just ignore
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 31, 2017 at 10:23 pm
Hi Tori,
Ignore it..