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6,801 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

  1. De vega

    March 12, 2016 at 5:00 am

    My boyfriend and I have 5months and then he broke up. 3months of being together was ok and happy but later that month is full of misunderstandings. the 1st time he broke up with me is he said is because he felt guilty of making me so sad lately since we have a lot of agruments. that he cant do anything for me. I try to beg and ask not to leave and he agreed. But, i know he wasnt the same. He cant treat me the way he like before. He often times didnt want to see or be with me. And i started being clingy and needy. I checked on his phone and find out that there are other girls he chatted on and even wants to see. He told me he wants to find himself. He said that the problem is him and not me.. i want him back. I was hurt, really hurt.. So i use the no contact rule even there is no official break up done. After 2days he texted that he wants to break up with me. still calls me of our endearment with sad face as if he didnt want it to do. I still didnt give him any response. Is no contact rule still work? Even were just 5months of being together? Is he just not so into me? Please help.

    1. sim

      March 21, 2016 at 3:33 pm

      yesterday my ex called me from a private number and i picked up. he called me and said why i couldn’t you wait for him, and i said “cause you wanted to get way”. he said if i want to come back and i said no and he said OK then this is my last time calling you then.
      what should i do should i call him and get back with him, but i am afraid that he will reject me cause of his man ego. also i am meeting up with him to go to the clinic. i have to go a pregnancy check, how should i get rid of the awkwardness.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 22, 2016 at 11:58 am

      Hi Sim,

      Since you’re meeting up with him..talk to him and tell him you understand that he’s angry.. but you need time for yourself and you hope for understanding

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 12, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      Hi De vega,

      I replied to your other comment.. I’ll just copy that okay?

      I think he just got tired of the arguments.. I can’t say it will work 100% But continue on even if after he broke up with during it.. unless he really makes an effort to have a serious talk with you to mend things

  2. Igs

    March 12, 2016 at 4:57 am

    My boyfriend and I have 5months and then he broke up. 3months of being together was ok and happy but later that month is full of misunderstandings. the 1st time he broke up with me is he said is because he felt guilty of making me so sad lately since we have a lot of agruments. that he cant do anything for me. I try to beg and ask not to leave and he agreed. But, i know he wasnt the same. He cant treat me the way he like before. He often times didnt want to see or be with me. And i started being clingy and needy. I checked on his phone and find out that there are other girls he chatted on and even wants to see. He told me he wants to find himself. He said that the problem is him and not me.. i want him back. I was hurt, really hurt.. So i use the no contact rule even there is no official break up done. After 2days he texted that he wants to break up with me. still calls me of our endearment with sad face as if he didnt want it to do. I still didnt give him any response. Is no contact rule still work? Even were just 5months of being together? Is he just not so into me? Please help.

    1. Igs

      March 13, 2016 at 5:07 am

      Hi amor, its me again. I would like to ask if no contact rule applies to all scenerios? Like what if i was just a rebound? Which i guess and hopefully not. Because i knew his past serious  relationship was a 2 years ago. Although his friend told me that he was just afraid of commitment. Which at first admit to me but then he said he was serious. However, before we break he tells me that he wasnt ready for serious relationship to me. Just like what i said, he wants to find himself. Until i finally decided to start no contact rule. I also need to fix myself since i didnt seem to take care because i was so busy thinking about us,how to fix our relationship which gives me lots of stress and worst,anxiety. Though i have plans to rebuild myself just like what this blog telling me.. i have doubt that will he still wants me back after no contact rule? Will this still work if we were not that long together? Thank you

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 13, 2016 at 8:01 am

      You’re welcome 🙂

      Nope.. it doesn’t work in all scenarios.. and we don’t guarantee 100% that you will get your ex back even of we recommend it’s the best choice.. Sometimes it’s just the best move to have the better outcome compared to talking…it differs in every scenario..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 12, 2016 at 2:52 pm

      HI Igs,

      I think he just got tired of the arguments.. I can’t say it will work 100% But continue on even if after he broke up with during it.. unless he really makes an effort to have a serious talk with you to mend things

  3. Sandra

    March 11, 2016 at 4:35 am

    I dated a guy. He was so nice and lovely to me. He texted me every morning and before he went to bed. We had sex after our 3 dated and seemed he was so crazy about me. After we talked about something serious , he told me he wanted to see how he feels and decide something like an adult after he went away for his visa run. After he came back, I met him and he asked me how do I feel about him. I said I wanted to see and know he more. He said okay. Then I felt that he has changed , we started talking about something serious again. He said he didn’t want to give any promises that we can get in the relationship or not , he preferred to date like 4-5 months then he can decide. I tried to rush him cause I felt that he has been dating another girls too even he said he dated only me. After we discussed many times, Finally he said we should be friends and see if things grow with us then who knows the future. I asked him what way you do with your friends? If for me no talk and see each other. Just friends on FB is okay. At first he said no, he doesn’t want that but when time passes, He seems okay with whatever I want and ready to let me go. He stopped texting me after I begged him to date again and he said he has no passion with me. What should I do? After try 30 NC and he is still silent.

    1. Sandra

      March 14, 2016 at 2:02 am

      Hi…Thanks for your msg. I already did the NC. Now it is 30 days already. What should I do next?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2016 at 11:06 am

      YOu can initiate texting. You may refer to this blog posts:

      Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
      EBR 022- How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend

      for texting style ideas and then think of interesting topics for him that you can apply to your chosen style

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 11:20 am

      Hi Sandra,

      since you already talked and begged.. you really have to do nc to focus on yourself… don’t think about after nc yet.. since you haven’t even started nc.. focus in the now and you first

  4. Phyllis

    March 11, 2016 at 12:05 am

    I’m on day 25 of no contact. However, I still have a huge amount of my stuff over at his house. None of it is anything I need, so I feel no need to contact him.
    Also, I believe my ex falls into the very stubborn category so I haven’t heard from him once since the breakup and don’t see him being the one to contact me during no contact.
    Should I contact him after the 30 days? If I do, should I mention my stuff? Or should I just not say anything at all and wait till he contacts me about my stuff?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 1:43 am

      Hi Phyllis,

      You can initiate after 30 days.. then maybe later on when you get to the meet up level, you can use your stuff as a reason for the first meet up

  5. EBR Team Member: Amor

    March 11, 2016 at 12:02 am

    awww.. yeah you need to restart.. that’s ok but right now focus more on healing than improving for him…

  6. MissQ

    March 10, 2016 at 11:58 pm

    Hey guys! Need help making a decision here. After a short relationship, a man I was discussing marriage with suddenly dumped me, claiming he thought I had feelings for an old ex. People tend to say they think it’s an excuse, but with him being insecure, I’m not sure. It’s been 5 months, and whole I made a few mistakes in the beginning, during which he did an excellent job of ignoring me, I went into 2 months NC then texted him on the anniversary of his sisters death. I got a thank you back. A week later I tried to get him to reminisce about an awesome date…. No answer. His birthday is coming up… Do I text him? Or ignore it to throw him off? I’m afraid he’ll ignore me again.

    1. MissQ

      March 11, 2016 at 1:48 am

      What do you suggest I try? I sent him a picture I took of the sunset on our first date while he was grabbing something in his car. He had no idea I had taken it. I said I had stabled across it and figured I would share. It made me smile, it was a magical night and that I hoped he was doing well. I’m not sure how to open a dialogue here
      :-/

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 10:56 am

      hmmm.. maybe the memory was too emotional for him.. if you’re going to try at his birthday, try a funny text.. or a funny topic for him..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 1:42 am

      Hi Miss Q,

      maybe the text was not something he could reply to..or it was awkward? Try one last on his birthday to initiate a convo

  7. Holland

    March 10, 2016 at 8:19 pm

    Hi, for the last year, I have been involved with a woman long distance. Every few months, she breaks up with me via text, but always messages me back within a few days. She recently broke up with me via text…again. The pattern is that she will break up with me via text, I won’t respond AT ALL, and then she’ll miss me and get back in touch with me in a few days. This time it does seem different, as if it is for good.

    I understand why no contact is effective, but by not contacting her, do I run the risk of giving her the impression that I won’t “fight” for her? Does a woman want someone that is willing to fight for her and do anything to be with her?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 12:01 am

      Hi Holland,

      thing is it’s been a cycle.. you have to stop the cycle by not responding immediately now..

  8. NIKITA

    March 10, 2016 at 6:49 pm

    Hi AMOR.

    So now im day 9 of NC and my ex is sick and is hospitalised. Should I text or call him to check on him or is this not an emergency coz I feel like he might take it like I do not care about him. I think this qualifies for emergency and it will not be about our relationship. Right. Advice

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 12:00 am

      Hmm…. Yeah, I think it is an emergency.. you can make it just a very short text abouy how he’s been and for to get well soob

  9. geoff

    March 7, 2016 at 8:19 pm

    My Girlfriend broke up with me several times last year and even moved back to her home state. At Christmas I was visiting her and we exchanged gifts and afterwards she asked me not to pursue her any longer.

    She will contact me several times a week – mostly because I have not contacted her. She will send several texts over the occurs of an hour or so and I don’t respond gets all upset. She will tell me she loves me and misses me and sends me Kiss Emoji’s and heart eEmoji’s by text.

    It is so confusing to me. We are not young – I am 52 and she 50. It seems so childish to me. I have expressed that she is the one I want for the rest of my days, but she says we are done, yet continues this seemingly cruel behavior by texting those emotions to me.

    Should I just completely ignore her communications? I am trying to move forward since she told me me are done, yet she seems to be hanging on to me for some reason – maybe to make herself seem better…any advice would be great

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 8, 2016 at 6:41 pm

      Hi Geoff,

      I think it’s better if you talk to her ..what if she’s doing that because she changed her mind?

  10. Alex

    March 7, 2016 at 7:29 pm

    I recently discovered my male friend of 5 years was in love with me. However he decided to tell me on a night out together after a year of no seeing each other. We had both been drinking but I was suffering from anxiety during that period and drinking a lot more than he was and found myself stumbling over my words with him all night. We got very intimate in conversation and over dinner earlier before he decided to tell me at the end of the night.

    I didn’t react very well to him and began to freak out, I wasn’t rationalizing very well at the time and the added pressure I reacted in a very harsh way. At this point I had never considered him as a romantic partner.

    He exchanged some angry words with me and said he wanted to go home to which I agreed. Back at my house I wanted to talk things through with him, as I was very confused about the situation, but he said he wanted to go home. I was still very angry with him and slammed the door on his way out. I reacted horribly to a guy in love with me but being in that emotional state already and discovering this new information was really hard at the time for me to understand I was very disconnected to reality and very drunk

    I contacted him afterwards asking if he was okay. He never responded. After a week I contacted him again asking if he was okay in which he gave me a very brief answer. By this point i had lost all my memories but could only remember certain aspects of the night and i asked him if he saw me more than a friend in which he replied that we were just friends.

    He eventually worked out that I had forgotten and just told me that nothing happened then continued to ignore me. He continued to ignore my contact for a month. I by this point already discovered i had feelings for him and contacted him after a almost no contact for a month that i was interested. He continued to ignore them. He would only answer messages that didn’t involve the topic. Over the next few months as I was regaining my short term memories of the nights, I continued to tell him how i felt and that he just needed to talk to me sober.

    At one point I did get angry at him and to which he replied that we were only just friends. He continued to read my messages but didn’t reply. I explained what i was going through at the time and the way it went was not the ideal situation but told him that I did love him and I needed to work this out for myself first. I told him that we needed to wait and have a discussion like that once we were sober. I told him I would give him a chance but if not then we could try and continue to be friends. To which he read the messages and ignored me again. He has become very distant on social media and I have become more active this, was mostly how we communicated in the past. Only I was very distant last year and he was active. I decided to try the NC Rule as I feel I have expressed my feelings enough and should now pull away too.

    My belief is that he is in a high emotional state and is trying to deny that the event occurred all together as he was very heart broken by my reaction as he is still reading my messages but ignoring me. It comes across very passive-aggressive towards me as though he is wanting to punish me. It is quite immature and he isn’t really a guy who has been in relationships in the past.

    Would the NC rule work in this situation?

    The event happened on the 5-12-2015 with my last contact to him being on the 01-03-2016

    Regards

    1. Alex

      March 9, 2016 at 3:42 am

      The last contact to him was March 1 2016.
      I am aware that I have become the chaser, but there was no communication about how either of us felt about each other in the past. So this was very out of the blue for me.

      I was also in a relationship in the past also, so I know it was very difficult for him to be able to express his feelings to me.
      Also he did drop in conversation on the same night he had been wanting to ask a girl out for 4 years and about her chasing him and him chasing her. I came to the assumption that he assumed that our friendship was of romantic interest in him before this.
      So I am in a difficult situation. I did care about him in the past but I had not developed any romantic interest in him as I was already involved. But I did start to fall for him afterwards.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 9, 2016 at 7:22 pm

      If you’re friends..give him time. it can be just his ego talking or not wanting to talk with you for now..

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 8, 2016 at 5:17 pm

      Hi Alex,

      Do you mean January 3 or March 1 2016? Basically you became the chaser.. Maybe he denies it because he was so hurt of what happened and then you chased..

  11. Lexa

    March 7, 2016 at 4:31 am

    Hi, I’m looking for some advice..Sorry It’s a bit long..
    I’ve known my boyfriend for 8 years, the first 5 just as acquaintances, 1 year unofficially together, another year officially, and then 9 months in a military LDR. I had gotten back from a week long trip to see him, and our communication became sparse which worried me because things have been so well between us, but I figured he was taking time for himself after the trip and catching up on work. After a week of barely any talking, I finally asked if he was okay, to which he told me he’d been thinking about if we should continue a reltionship like this, or take a break. I tried to reassure him but our convo didn’t go anywhere and he went to sleep. I sent texts almost everyday after that trying to figure out what was exactly going on, and after a week he finally told me he’d call that night. He told me he really wanted to focus on work right now, and how an LDR still made him worry (he was never a huge fan of it in the first place, but he changed his mind when he went to bootcamp in the beginning of his military path because he realized how much he cared about me). I was a mess because this completely caught me off guard and I care about him so much, and he asked me to still talk to him but I told him I didn’t think I could do that. If we’re on a break, I’d really prefer to have the NC rule in play to make it truly feel like one. I know this is not because he’s interested in somebody else. This will sound cliche, but he’s not that kind of guy. Especially because he’s leaving his station in a few months and he doesn’t want an LDR…But, I think I made the mistake of texting him after we had that phone call 2 nights ago, but I just felt like I had to because I didn’t say everything I needed to when we talked over the phone. I was mainly confused after I hung up with him because I still didn’t understand what went wrong. My question is, have I ruined my chance of playing the NC card here? Especially because he didn’t respond to my last text? It wasn’t a long conversation, I got one response from him, I responded again, and then that was it.

    1. Lexa

      March 7, 2016 at 4:41 am

      Just realized I meant to put this under the LDR breakup article

  12. Alexis

    March 6, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    Hi,

    I wrote here on the 26 Feb about my gf who broke up with me and there was an issue as to whether she was pregnant. I avoided contacting her until Friday when I reached out to see if there was any update and she told me that she hadn’t got her period and had taken a test. She first said it was too early to tell and when I said it’s been two/three weeks and that it’s no too early, she refused to tell me what it said. I arranged to meet her face to face on Tuesday coming up, however we start talking this morning and she said she had some bad news but not regarding the pregnancy. I asked was it someone else and she went into a rage wherein she unleashed a tirade of verbal abuse on me saying things like I treated her like a piece of shit and that I only wanted someone I could put in their place and who was beneath me. I’ve never done anything like this. I tried to calm her and It ended with her saying that she never wants to speak to me again and that if she could she would delete me off Facebook, which she hasn’t done. I asked about the pregnancy and she said oh that she wasn’t pregnant. It was just some game.

    I honestly feel like the worst person in the world and I don’t know how she’s thinking of me like this and it’s brought me to my knees, I’m not sure if I can continue any longer. She had been so nice to me yesterday sending me loving messages and then this. The bad news that she wanted to tell me was that she didn’t trust me ( not because I was unfaithful but because I went for drinks with friends without telling her. I couldn’t tell her because it would cause a massive argument). She apologised for her verbal abuse and said it was because she was angry.

    Despite all of this I want her back but I honestly think it’s too late. I’m unable to cope with the loss and loneliness and I don’t think I can make it. Has everything been pushed beyond salvation?

    I need help as fast as possible.

    Alexis

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 8, 2016 at 9:31 am

      I think you just need to work in your communication issues…do you hide things or activitied to her because she always get angry?Of that’s the case, even if she does get angry, you will just aggravate and valdate her reason if you hide things from her…

      But you need to talk to her calmly, that it’s not good to always speak oyut of anger.. Her words are hurting you and the relationship… are you actively talking now?

  13. Deeprincess

    March 6, 2016 at 1:13 am

    hey,
    my bf and I dated for abt 9 months before we broke up. the thing is that my bf is older than me by 8 years. my EXbf and I have the relationship where we both cared for one another and still care for each other still. I broke up with him because I felt like he was cheating on me. I know he did (emotionally cheated- as seen he was sharing the same affection that we shared with another girl, i know its sounds weird). when we broke up 2 weeks ago ( i ended it), TBH it felt like the breaking up was mutual. the thing is that i didnt want to end the relationship but i felt like i was disrespecting myself. our break up was happened with me angrily confronting about this other girl. but, when we got together peacefully and he wanted to be friends.lately he has been contacting me. for example he will text me , saying you are so beautiful. Or call to tell me he needs to talk to some one that will make him smile after a long day he had. i really really like him. the thing is that i dont know what to do?i feel like i was so emotionally invested in us. how do i make him want me more or should i just quit this relationship(wanting to get back together)

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2016 at 8:04 am

      Hi Deeprincess,

      is he still in relationship or in contact with the other girl?

  14. Kelly

    March 5, 2016 at 5:27 pm

    Hello, well this is my last hope I guess. I was with my ex boyfriend for just a little over three years. Both first loves and high school sweet hearts. However it’s been 2 weeks that I’m writing this since he broke up with me and I can’t help but want him back so much. We’ve broken up before for around 3 months or less but at that time I was chasing him and texting him and we met up a couple of times secretly without anyone knowing and had sex. But this time it’s different, we’re both older and I don’t want to chase him like I did before, well i do and I don’t. We had a little bit of a rough month just two silly arguments that we both over reacted over but he never gave us the chance to sit down together and talk about anything. I woke up the next day to two text messages saying that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right now and wants to be single and stress free. We also work together and that makes everything so much worse. We met up to talk and I basically put everything on the like and all the cards out on the stable and told him how I felt about him and everything I wanted to say. He said to me he just wants to be friends and wants to talk still because he knows I’ll be there for him and he will be there for me. Everyone who has spoken to me about it have been saying, it’s not going to be your first and it’s note your last, but I was literally set to spend the rest of my life with this boy because he means so much to me and I really really do love him so much. It might so really stupid but I would of gladly had him be my future and my one and only. It’s so hard, I can’t be friends with him because of my strong feelings for him but I haven’t told him that. He also said that he doesn’t see a future with us right now he just wants to be single and go out with his friends and have no stress. He seems to forget all of the amazing times and memories we created together and only focuses on the bad. I’m just really disappointed and confused. I’m lost and all I can think about is him and me being together and what he’s doing right now and what if i could go back and change it would we still be together right now. I don’t want to move on because he is my world. I just don’t know.

    1. Kelly

      March 6, 2016 at 1:31 pm

      Yes I’ve already spoken to him, and I’m trying the NC now it’s just really hard because I love him so much and I want to be apart of his life I feel like the reasons why we broke up are just excuses to run away, i think if we both sat down together we would be together right now but he just seems to be ignoring it. It’s hard to move on when you don’t want to. And especially when we have each other on social media still I get the urge to check up on what he’s doing or if he’s online. I don’t want to remove him first because then it may ruin the chances of being together.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2016 at 6:38 am

      Hi Kelly,

      so you already tried talking to him,
      do you consider doing nc?

  15. Akemi

    March 5, 2016 at 7:33 am

    I broke up with my ex a month ago and I’ve been trying to do the NC rule, because i know it will the best for us but he contacted me a week after we broke up, and asking how I’m doing. I did reply to him to make him feel that I wasn’t upset about the break up. Is it right to reply? and after that we’ve been talking but i don’t feel is it right to keep talking with him. I want to try the NC rule again.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2016 at 10:45 am

      Hi Akemi,

      if you want to do the nc rule, and you’re not comfortable just disappearing..you can tell him you’re taking a time off from everything..then don’t tell how long….

  16. Mark

    March 4, 2016 at 3:32 pm

    I would like some help regarding my situation. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 1 year 1/2 . Originally we met in Europe ( I’m English and she’s Taiwanese ) and we liked each other since the first day. She went back to Taipei to start her career and I followed her and found a job in Taipei. Since I arrived in Taipei in October 2015 we was arguing frequently and I was reacting emotionally , and she was sometimes feeling upset. Recently the 12/2/16 We went to dinner and she was very cold and distant, didn’t speak to me at all. She was leaving the dinner and Me at the restaurant , so I reached out to her and grabbed her arm to prevent her from leaving, she got scared. I am not a violent man and don’t use violence on women, never did I’m my life, I apologized to her for what I did on the spot telling her that I didn’t mean to hurt her, I was scared that she was leaving me without saying a word and looking me like a stranger. that night she just went back home. Two weeks passed and I was texting her asking how she was, and worrying about her. She replied to my text but with very short answers. The 28/2/16 I noticed that she had deleted all our pictures from her Facebook and Instagram , so I asked her what was going on, she replied she didn’t want to talk to me anymore, she didn’t love me anymore, she couldn’t keep going and that she couldn’t forget what happen the last time we was at the dinner, she ended the relationship, I tried to plead her to re-consider her decision and she insisted that she will never regret this decision, I asked her to give me a last chance but she refused. She said that since I came to Taipei we was arguing not once and she thought deeply about this decision. I said to her that it would be better to re-think about it and we finished texting. I am currently in no contact with her, has only been 6 days since the break up, but I’m not really sure that this no contact could bring her back and that it will work. Is it possible that the NC will be effective in this case? Any advice would be great

    1. Mark

      March 6, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      No I don’t have any other idea of what I should do, because I do not want to worsen the situation, what would be the best thing to do after let’s say a month or so of no contact , waiting for her to reach out or make a move and try to reach out to her? Your advice will be really helpful . Thank you

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 7, 2016 at 1:43 pm

      It’s okay to initiate contact after nc.. but during nc, make it active.. for yourself and also for her to see that you’re not clingy and moving on too, so she would be less annoyed and she won’t think you’re going to chase her…. When you’re more relaxed and you can process more information, you can review this blog post on how it takes effect.. for now take time for yourself

    3. Mark

      March 5, 2016 at 10:55 am

      The last time we talked was on the day of the break up which was on the 28/2/16 , since that date 28/2/16 until today 5/3/16 I’ve been in no contact ( one week passed )

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 6, 2016 at 5:31 am

      with what she said, I think it’s better to give her space because you already pleaded and nothing happened right? other than nc, do you have any other in mind you want to do?

    5. Mark

      March 5, 2016 at 10:52 am

      In these two weeks after the dinner I gave her space and we didn’t talk on a regular basis, just texting her after work and not everyday. By giving her space now that we broke up will it be negative in the sense that she might forget me and move on , or will it have a positive effect releasing tension and negative thoughts ?

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2016 at 8:10 am

      Hi Mark,

      though we cant guarantee it will work 100%, since you already talked to her it means the best next step is to give her space.. you already gave her two weeks of space before talking right?

  17. Ilu

    March 4, 2016 at 8:46 am

    Hie, I broke up with my long distance bf last month because it was hard for him to trust me. He has been gone since 3 yrs and visited me once. Now he says we were not together since 3 yrs. So I initiated a NC. After 5 days of NC he calls me and I don’t pick up. Same day he starts texting me and asking for my account passwords so that he can see if I am dating someone. I gave him but still again he blocked me everywhere. Should I start NC again? I really like him and I know he wants me too but it’s his trust issues.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2016 at 4:59 am

      Hi Ilu,

      he blocked you after you gave ypir passwords? but why did you give it? Let’s say, you did it so that he would trust you again, but first why doesn’t he trust you?

  18. Jason Zhou

    March 3, 2016 at 1:59 am

    Hi, I would love some advice and suggestions on what I should do now. Before the breakup with my ex-girlfriend, she said she needed some to to because she’s in a mixed feeling between me and one other guy in her school that likes her. After a few weeks, I messaged asking her what her decision was and she told me that she have been dating with the guy in her school already. So, two days ago (April 29,2016) she said we’re over… After that we still keep in touch with each other. Sending like 1-2 messages a day to each other. I don’t know what to do anymore… We have been together for almost 2 years. Should I do the NC thing and see how things go? Please reply back and tell me what I should do. I really want her back and need help. Would mean a lot if you can help me out. Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2016 at 12:16 pm

      Hi Jason,

      do you me@n, she said you were over last year and until now you still talk to eacg other? Do you see each other!

  19. Nicole

    March 2, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    I am a little over halfway through no contact and have realised I am still friends with my ex on Facebook. He never actually posts anything so I haven’t been on his page -and while there have been posts on mine so he may have seen some things I have been up to he has not commented on anything so the no contact has not been effected. My question is whether at this point deleting him as a friend would be a positive move or not? Would it come across as deleting in anger or because of upset showing I still have feelings or after the already couple of weeks of silence would it suggest I am simply moving on and see no need to keep up the connection?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2016 at 11:34 am

      Hi Nicole,

      If you’re going to try to rebuild the connection later on, it’s better not to delete him

  20. SALLY

    March 2, 2016 at 4:20 am

    I have been together with my boyfriend for 10 years, however, last year June he told me that he has no feeling towards me, and we breakup. However, we remains contacting each other after breakup. A lot of things happened in the past six months and we aren’t in a very good term although we remain contacting each other. We patched up a month ago because he wants to give himself one more try to fall in love with me again, he made a lot of effort, but few days ago, he told me that he finds that he couldn’t find back the feeling, the more effort is put in, he finds that everything seems too purpose and forced. And he requested breakup once again, is NC rule still work as this is the second breakup.

    1. SALLY

      March 13, 2016 at 9:38 am

      I’m not sure whether she did something, what I know is she did msg him constantly right after he imitated the break, and out of sudden she just decide to put down and stop contacting him, and then he realised he missed her. He did told me he never feel afraid of losing me and perhaps because of that he don’t really know how to treasure, but I feel it could be just an excuse for me to let him go off.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 14, 2016 at 5:27 am

      it’s going to be harder because the other already did it..he may feel the same way too when you do it, but ofcourse he’ll realize that it would be silly to have the same reason to go back to you.. but if he sees more value in you and realizes he’s more compatible with you, there’s a chance he will go back..

    3. SALLY

      March 11, 2016 at 6:40 am

      We have a peaceful talk on 4 March. During our first breakup, there is another girl who give him the in-love feeling. Like I said, we patched up in end of January because he would like to have another try. And since we breakup, the girl has stop contacting him for like a month, and he realised he still miss her, and he clearly told me that he would like to have a serious relationship with her, rather that be like the past nine months stuck in between two ladies. So I agreed to peacefully breakup, and till now, it’s the 7th day of NC. I need some advice, because he is so in love with the girl, do u think this will still work? or I should just let go rather than still carrying a hope that he will find me back. Because it seems like the girl applied NC rule and he look back to her.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 11, 2016 at 12:25 pm

      yeah, it looked like that.. but was she active in making him regret durung the nc rule or he just missed her?

    5. SALLY

      March 3, 2016 at 6:37 am

      what if, on Tuesday, I actually tell him that we stop contacting each other and let’s focus on work first, and we shall talk on Saturday. If he text me on Saturday, should I reply? because we have not break up, but is to let each other cold down for a while to clear the mind and the stressful atmosphere.

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 3, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      I think that’s a good idea..it:s better if you can cool down before talking

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 2, 2016 at 4:26 pm

      Hi Sally,

      it can help to increase the chance especially of you’re going to improve yourself and he will miss you because he’s so used to talking to you

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