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Gi
October 15, 2016 at 7:22 pm
Quick question about texting.
They say that when your ex reaches out to you after the breakup, to keep the conversation, short, sweet, and positive. I did this when my ex contacted me out of the blue after the breakup (he did some really unfair/hurtful things to me with the breakup). When you respond to an ex in this manner, does it communicate to them that the hurtful things they did are excusable and you are okay with it because you are now responding to them in a nonchalant sort of way?
Gi
October 20, 2016 at 4:43 am
When I told him I was willing to hear him out (I did this several days after he initially asked, not immediately-at first I declined), he did respond. He ended up texting me more than a few times after that. By the time I agreed to the date, he told me he was leaving in a few days to go out of town and that we could do it when he got back. When he came back, he apologized for not taking me out because he just landed a new job that has been keeping him busy (I know this is an excuse). So I agree with you, I’ve been thinking he’s either unsure what he wants, or just wanted to see what my response would be in case he changed his mind about the break up. I could see how he would make excuses to meet up if I was chasing after him and constantly texting him or something, but I haven’t. So it’s been strange.
Gi
October 17, 2016 at 5:48 am
He initiated the breakup because we had been arguing alot, and he had alot of stress in his life at the time. We were together for 3 years. I immediately went NC, dead silence from both of us. Two months after breakup, he texted me with “I think I miss you”, “I was a jerk”, and “Do you think we can work things out?”. I waited awhile to respond with “Hey, I hope you are doing well”. He texted me a few times after this, saying things like “I still look at our pictures” and “I’ll never forget all the memories we have together”, and offered to pick me up and take me out to dinner so we could talk. I was reluctant at first, but then told him I’d be willing to hear him out. This was over a month ago, and we have yet to meet up (which he later texted me and apologized for, blamed it on his new job, to which I responded “that’s great, congratulations”), and I haven’t texted him once since he’s texted all of this. Anytime I responded to his texts, I kept it short, polite, and didn’t bring up the past at all. Because I haven’t acted upset/angry in the text messages, I’m not sure if that communicates to him that I’m completely okay with everything he did and that he gets some sort of free pass. I’m also confused about why he’s been stalling on the plans he made with me. I have done absolutely no chasing during this breakup.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 18, 2016 at 3:40 pm
yeah, actually it looks like all of your actions are right.. when you said you’re willing to hear him out, he never responded? he didn’t text about picking you up again? It looks like, he’s just not brave enough or sure enough.. it’s like he expected you to say yes right after the first text he said he wants you back..but for me, you did the right thing..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 16, 2016 at 7:22 pm
Hi Gi,
it depends.. why did you break up? How long has it been since the break up when he texted? Did you chase him after the break up? What was the text after the break up? Did you do the no contact rule?
tina
October 12, 2016 at 5:29 pm
my boyfriend and i dated 11 months. we are very different people, hes introverted im not.. anyway we had a rockyy start his schedule working two jobs etc was extremely difficult for us to bond and connect. we would bicker about time and i felt neglected as we only hung out late nights. finally in june he quit his one late night job and things got a little better. he convinced me to move in with him – i was scared as i hadnt known him even a year yet. we always showed one another respect, love, etc. but upon moving in he started having doubts.. we fought every weekend for almost two months.. he would bring up breaking up and take it back repeatedly…one night things got bad i was blacked out and he broke up with me again. to gain attention i told him i would cut my arm.. in my drunken state i actusally did – i am not suicidal it was a cry for attention – regardless horrible and shows we bring out the worst in one another. my question is why after that did hr kick me out, and refuse to talk to me. i assume hes freaked out but i stuck around for his depressive episodes not to mention he knows i was extremely wasted and thats not my character at all.. seems like he wanted a way out. for everyone that will say i need therapy, i do go.. so please im just asking – feeling like he didnt genuinely love me if he just ran.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 13, 2016 at 9:09 am
Hi Tina,
we each have our different ways and capacities in dealing with situations.. I think he’s just not as strong as you are when it comes to being with someone who’s in a depressive state.. although I do agree that you were just drunk that time
Amber
October 12, 2016 at 3:26 am
Hi ,
I am 29 and my ex-boyfriend is younger than me by 4 years. Before we got together for 3 months, he was with his ex-girlfriend for 5 years. (He was already trying to court me while he was with his ex-girlfriend; and we only got together officially 2 months after he broke up.) He claimed that he could see a future with me and he was convinced he can be reassuring to wipe off all the insecurities I have in the relationship as I was very resistant towards it. He was awesome and lovely in the relationship. However, one day my family member spotted his display picture – his ex-girlfriend and him on his social media platform and that he liked many other girls photos. I brought these up to him, naturally unhappy but I also believed that I can be honest about it as I would like him to know these unhappiness. I never thought that he will react so violently towards it. He was unhappy as he claimed that I do not trust him (I felt that I trusted that we can actually work things out) and that people should not judge him even though the things I brought up were facts. He went on further to insult my family member and said nasty stuff that hurt me. After that, he chose not to see me for 2 weeks. Every week, I would check on him and he’s still unhappy. At that time, I felt like I had to minced my words carefully and I found myself apologizing for issues that I disagreed on. In the end, I decided to request for a breakup as I felt relationship should be honest and all these made me unhappy and insecure. I gave him two options – To breakup or walk on together if he had the courage to work things out together. He chose to breakup via an email. I didn’t know how I could remain calm at that time. I called him upon receiving the email and I told him I thought I will be full of hatred towards him, but I couldn’t and I felt that we could be friends in future. He said that he was surprised with the way I was and that I was encouraging him despite this ordeal. To be honest, I felt that his ego was in the way.
A few days later, I missed him badly. Everywhere reminded me of him. Even the weather reminded me of him. Stupidly, I messaged him for a few days (taking care not to message him when he doesn’t reply), wanting to know if he felt the same way as I do -Whether he still loves me. I regretted asking for the breakup. Maybe if I persisted, would he return to me after I gave him space? However, he was cold and emotionless. He said that he was fully invested at work and family and that he had no time to think about us. He claimed he does not want to think about relationships anymore and that he felt bad that I was feeling that way. However, every contact was not initiated by him.
I have just started NC and to be honest, I find myself wanting to return to his embrace all the time because the good times always resurface in my mind and I felt that the reason for our break is very ridiculous. Things can still work out.
A few days ago, on my birthday he sent me a polite birthday greeting. It felt too distant and polite that I do not know why our relationship has deteriorated till so bad since we didnt really end on bad terms.
Do you think that NC will work and that he will return to me since he’s fully invested in his work and family at the moment?Has he already moved on?
Amber
November 1, 2016 at 1:27 am
Hi,
Yesterday I bumped into him again.
He was alone and I was with a friend.
This time, he pretended not to see me.
Do you think that he has already moved on?
Is there really no chance that we will be back like how we were previously?
I have not contacted him at all and it’s really upsetting.
I am sorry that I have yet to move on ….I am sorry for writing essays in here….
But I am really curious of what he thinks.. I would be grateful if you are able to advise what he thinks….. Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 1, 2016 at 6:54 pm
Well, I have my opinions, but he’s the only person who knows what he thinks.. There’s a chance that he thinks he has to move on because there’s no point in trying to get the old relationship back, especially if it was not good. There’s a chance, that he’s just waiting for you to initiate..
Amber
October 31, 2016 at 7:02 am
Hi,
Its me again…
I thought that I was much calmer…
However, all that came crumbling down when i chanced upon him.
It was a very brief encounter as he passed me by…I wasn’t even sure if he saw me….
He was with a group of female colleagues and he looked really happy….The kind of happiness that he used to have when he was with me (he claimed that he’s happy with me because he could be himself.) His joyfulness in that brief encounter caused a sinking feeling in me as I lowered my head, not knowing why. I just didnt wanted to see him….
I felt really bitter and upset…..Not only that, he was together with a female colleague (whom he’s getting closer and closer, having rumors in the office)…I also heard that they have been going home together everyday (they claimed that its on the way but it wasnt at all!)
Now I wonder if everything is too late….or if everything was a nightmare….I could be a rebound for his ex…and if so, he probably doesnt love me in the first place right? I feel foolish for caring too much….and i feel some resentment…
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 1, 2016 at 12:09 am
just take a step back for yourself. If he really has moved on, he has to see that you have too so, he’ll take a chance on being friends.
Amber
October 24, 2016 at 8:55 am
Hi there,
Thank you for being patient with me. =)
I will heed your advice and stay as calm as possible when I see him.
Sorry for all the endless questions but I am curious what does it mean when your ex boyfriend dressing changed for the better after the breakup. Is that a sign of moving on? Does it means that he is already fine?
Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 25, 2016 at 8:09 pm
No worries!It can be a sign that he is trying to move on but thay doesnt mean he has moved on already
Amber
October 20, 2016 at 4:23 am
Hello,
Appreciate the reply as it feels great to have a “listening ear” that provides some advice.
By deleting all “memories”on social media, does it imply that hes throwing away all memories of us? Is that a sign that hes ready to move on? It feels sad that we are becoming strangers when we were so fond of one another as friends even before we became lovers. Up to date, there is no contact at all and given that he’s prideful and stubborn, I doubt there is a chance of him initiating the contact.
On my part, I have tried moving on; engaging in other activites. However I still think of him – wishing that he’s around, laughing together with me.
Sometimes, I wondered if I was the rebound. He was with his ex for about 5 years and unofficially we have been together for a year. IF I was the rebound, is there even a chance that he will miss me and like to get back together with me?
Going forward, I am aware that I have a class with him (a class that he was trying to psych me not to take before we broke up). I hope that I have the”wow” factor that would impress him again even from afar. I do hope that I do not lose myself with the wrong intention – I should be improving myself more to “wow” myself right? However, I am still curious and nervous about how I would react around him or within his sight. Please advise how I should react or do when I have not seen him or talk to him in a while.
Thank you! =)
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 21, 2016 at 9:19 pm
More likely he removed them because it hurts to see them.. and yes, that’s right, the improvement should be for yourself.. just be as calm as you can..less talk less mistakes..so, if you’re unsure on what to say, just stay silent..
Amber
October 16, 2016 at 4:08 pm
Hi,
Thank you for replying. He was unwilling to explain as he felt that it was unnecessary. Usually when an issue is being brought up, he would “discuss” more about other issues rather than tackle the actual issue. He would even bring out our previous quarrels! He was upset that I am unhappy because he overlooked changing the DP picture and he had always been “meticulous” with me. I admit that it was no big deal of him liking other women pictures as hes a normal guy. What I would like to do was to reach to a compromise and explain to him why I was unhappy. However, he felt that I was being unreasonable and I was “changing” him – he refused to give up his principles (i.e I do not understand what principles was that when I wanted to be the best and loveliest in his eyes). To be honest, I can accept his reasonings but I would like him to explain as he cares about how i feel, and him being defensive made me think that there was something that he wants to hide. Lately, I have been stalking him on social media(bad move, but I couldnt help it). He deleted pictures of us, change his dp (pic relating to me) when he claims that he does not change his dp because he doesnt remember to. He added a picture of himself having fun with colleagues even though he seldom / almost never updates. I do not want to analyse anything but it seems that everything he does is contradictory to what he told me. Even though he deleted our pictures, he did not delete his prev ex girlfriend picture on facebook. I wonder if he has already moved on and whether NC rule will work in my favour since we have no contact at all. It seems like I am desperately clinging on to a relationship thats over when the other party has already moved on. I do not know why hes able to move on so easily when all I feel is hurt. In a month’s time, I may be attending the same course as him (ten lessons) and I do not know how to curb these feelings or make him come back to me. I miss him badly and I do not know if he thinks the same of me (the last time i asked him about it – before NC, he says that he does not think of me as he is focusing on other stuff like work). I wish he would love me the way he does before all the quarrels. Please advise. Thank you and I appreciate it!
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 17, 2016 at 8:45 pm
sometimes it’s actually a good sign if he erased your photos because that meansit hurts when he sees them.. avoid stalking him… since you’re going to be classmates soon, leverage your time now to improve yourself..wow him once he sees you
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 12, 2016 at 10:04 am
Hi Amber,
there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but what did say when you asked him about his profile pic and him liking other girl’s photos? If he didn’t say why, why do you think he did that?
Taylor
October 11, 2016 at 6:56 pm
Hi my name is Taylor, my boyfriend and I broke up just a few days ago after dating for 2 years. We had our ups and downs but I felt like we got through them. About a week before he broke up with me he told me to wait to move out because he was planning on purposing in 6-7 months.. so in my head everything was going great. The only issues we were having is that he didn’t think I was affectionate enough because he was always very affectionate with me. So we had some arguments about it but I just blew it off because I didn’t want to fight. Well when he broke up with me he said he still really cares about me but doesn’t know if he loves me anymore because we fight so much. I was in so much shock I just sat there crying and when he left he called my mom to go check on me and make sure I was okay. Well later that night my desperation sunk in and I accused him of finding someone else and begged him to talk to me and see me one more time. He kept saying no that I would make things worse and harder for him. Until he finally agreed to see me the next night. But when it came to it he said it was too soon that he needed his heart to heal before he can talk to me. So I kind of lost it and kept begging and begging to where he finally got mad and threatened to block me. So I didn’t talk to him for 2 days but deleted him on all social media because I couldn’t see his stuff anymore. But then after thinking about everything I realized he might not want to get married because we are only 20 and he didn’t want to give up racing(it’s been his dream since he was 8 and he just went pro) so I sent him a text saying I understand everything and that it’s all okay that he’s not ready. Well he texted me back saying it was the reason and the fighting just put him over the edge.. he said he misses and cares about me and I’m still his bestfriend but we both need to grow up and he wants to live out his dream for as long as he can and then maybe we can give it another try. So I was okay until the next day I got on social media to find out he deleted me off of everything.. so I asked him why and now he’s ignoring me.. what does all of this mean? Can you please help me?
Taylor
October 11, 2016 at 7:41 pm
I was thinking about it. I’m not sure if it will work though, I feel like him not seeing me or hearing from me will just make it that much easier for him to move on. I feel really confused if he still has feelings for me or not and if he does why would he want to move on if we don’t have to get married?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 11, 2016 at 7:50 pm
Well…. honestly you don’t have much of a choice but to do no contact, since he’s already ignoring you.. Any follow up move would be chasing. So, leverage this time by doing no contact and improving yourself.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 11, 2016 at 7:10 pm
Hi Taylor,
yeah, you’re young.. So, you don’t live together now? I think he’s doing it to help him and you hurt less. So, you can move on, and so he can hurt less by not seeing your post automatically. Are you going to do the no contact rule?
Yari
October 8, 2016 at 10:36 pm
I am going insane. My ex boyfriend and I met about 9 years ago but started dating last summer. I have an anxiety disorder and I decided to to take a break back in May to get myself together as I had taken time off from school and such. During that time up until August he kept trying to get back with me and it is not that I didn’t want to, I was just afraid. Towards the end of August I saw him with someone else and I immediately got in contact with him and he told me it was just to try to get over me. Anyways fast forward till now, two weeks ago he told me that he still loved me and wanted to maintain contact with me. He was going to make time for me and let’s just say it has been two weeks and I have gotten no respond. He has ignored me for two weeks. I feel like an idiot and don’t know what to do about this anymore.
Yari
October 11, 2016 at 7:02 pm
yes i am in therapy and i have started that since sunday i have held myself back from texting or calling him.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 11, 2016 at 7:12 pm
That’s good Yari..Stay strong.. keep connected with friends and make new ones by being more involved in the activities that you have planned doing, like volunteering or joining classes.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 7:04 pm
Hi Yari,
are you in professional therapy for your anxiety? Because being in rocky relationship won’t help you with it.. If he started ignoring you that means you should start doing the no contact rule now.. focus in healing and improving yourself first before attempting to reconnect with him again.
Sarah
October 8, 2016 at 12:35 pm
So I could really use some advice! Thanks in advance,
My ex and I were together for almost 3 years before he broke up with me 2 months ago due to continuous arguing. I tried the NC for a month which included NC on his birthday. When I finally texted him asking how he was doing he said he was doing fine and confronted me about not having said happy birthday to him. There was a little flirting and i told him I still loved him and he said he loved me too but that was about it. I was told by friends of his that he was going out too much and drinking a lot that they had to talk to him about it because it was getting out of hand so I mentioned that “I’ve been seeing a lot of pictures on social media of him out” and to just remember his goals and plans because going to NY on a Wednesday night and being out until 5am when he works at 630am the next day is not like him at all! he replied with “your right that was really irresponsible but it won’t happen again.” Recently, about a month later, I texted him again asking how he was doing and this time he said he thought about me a lot but quickly changed the subject and started asking me about a recent trip I took. He definitely seemed more engaged into this conversation as appose to the first one where it felt like I was dragging out a conversation and in this convo he was actually asking me questions about my family and the trip. I quickly ended the conversation telling him I hope he was taking care of himself. I didn’t want a long conversation but I wanted to in a way be on his mind that night when he went out specifically because of the following….
My laptop still signs onto his amazon account and so a couple of days ago I went on amazon and saw that he had purchased a box of condoms which crushed me to see. I’m currently seeing a therapist so when I mentioned that to her after talking for a few she brought up to remember that I told his sister, who texts me from time to time and insists on going out for lunch, just days before that I started seeing someone. Specifically last Monday I spoke to her and then that Tuesday he bought the condoms. She also asked me if he knew I could get into his account and I told her he was aware that my laptop had his info saved and that i used his account once about a month before we broke up. I honestly just think he bought them because he wants to use them I mean why go out of your way to buy condoms for no reason? my therapist said she just finds it weird that he bought them on amazon, Regardless I know it isn’t cheating or betrayal if he is having sex, and I’m glad its at least safe sex, but the thought really messes my head up.
Bella howard
October 18, 2016 at 7:38 pm
I was with my ex for 2 years. We broke up due to the fact that my parents won’t allow me to date and it strained our relationship because I could only see him a few times if any out of school. He was my first kiss, my first everything, but he was more of the player type. That’s also why we had issues was because I didn’t trust him and vice versa. We broke up about a month ago. At first he said we should stop talking and that’s when I freaked out. I admit I was being very needy and emotional and I would always have to have his confirmation that he still loved me because he was snap chatting other girls and hanging out with them and commenting on other girls. He said that he would date me if I was allowed, and that he doesn’t know what he wants and that he was losing feelings because of my parents. The fight that really ended me having contact with him was when he said that if I don’t stop living in fantasy world and wake up and realize that we aren’t going to date right now and maybe not even when you’re 17 (when I’m allowed to date-I’m 16 now) then we can be friends. He said that he wanted to do things for himself and he’s tried of doing things for everyone else, and that he’s trying to “move on” and im making it harder for him. But during the relationship he would lie and do many other hurtful things. And so after he said many things like that I gave in and said fine we won’t talk I want to be friends but I need to heal and be okay first. Even right after we started talking and through our the break up he was hanging out with other girls and snap chatting them. Which hurt me even more. Why is he doing that? From then one I didn’t talk to him and was planning on doing the full 30 day no contact rule, but it was his birthday today so I wished him a happy birthday cutting it off at 22 days of no contact. All he said was “thank you!! It means a lot and I don’t want you to hate me” and I was sad because that’s not the reaction I wanted (I was dumb thinking it was gonna be any different). He’s ignoring me now, I don’t know if it’s just because he’s upset or he doesn’t ever want to talk to me but he’s too nice to say it. When I first started doing the no contact rule he would try to say hi while we were at school and try to get my attention but I kept a poker face and smiled at him once in a while. Like today for instance, when I walked by him in the hall I smiled at him and he looked at my face, didn’t smile back and continued to talk to the person he was walking with. And he’ll look at me when He sees him but if I look at him his eyes will flicker back and keep ignoring me. Why is he ignoring me now? Should I do another 30 days of no contact and then try and reach out as a friend or not talk to him for more days than that? Please help! Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 20, 2016 at 4:51 pm
Hi Bella,
I think he just wants to see that you’ve really moved on before he can be open in being friendly again.. You have to improve yourself and focus in that during and even after nc..
But honestly, if he’s a player, then he’s a player.. That’s the reason he talks to other girls.. You can’t expect him to change for you because you cant control him..
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 3:58 pm
Hi Sarah,
yeah more likely it’s just to get back at you and to piss you off.
Jade
October 5, 2016 at 6:34 pm
I was with a man for 4 months who was so lovely to me , couldn’t do enough for me surprised me every now and again by showing up out of the blue or sending me little notes or gifts , 2 months into the relationship we had a small disagreement and he cut me off blocked me on social media and wouldn’t take my texts / calls .. Eventually my friends contacted him and convinced him to talk to me … He said that he had expected me to actually go to his house to speak to him but I didn’t make the effort .. I didn’t because I thought he’d just slam the door in my face ..He had been quite open about the fact that he cuts ppl off like that to punish them as he knows it hurts them .. However we got back together and 2 months on he has done it again … Another disagreement and he cut me off … I made the mistake of texting him a lot and phoning him a lot with no reply … I’ve now stopped but I’m finding it really difficult to deal with the whole being cut off part … It really hurts … This guy has a lot of children with an ex and uses them to hide behind I.e I’m having my kids so can’t speak to u or see u … He always made sure he would have the kids if he was not seeing me to ‘keep him busy’ or if I couldn’t see him one night he wld have the kids for a whole week as if to punish me … Am I being manipulated ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 7, 2016 at 3:36 pm
Hi Jade,
not really manipulated, but you’re being ghosted.
vivian
October 2, 2016 at 2:57 am
Hi, im going to make this a short as possible, i started dated this guy for 4 months. When we first started, he was very sweet and showed interest, that sweeness lasted like 2 months, we were good together, although, he never really talked about deep feelings but he reassured me that he wouldnt be with me if he wasnt taking me serious.. Suddenly, he became quite distant, we would fight because he never said how he really felt, i would ask him how he felt and his most common responses were “i dont know how i feel” or “i dont have answers for you”, but he told me that he didnt want to end things with me, i asked him several times if he wanted to break up but he said no. The problem is that he stopped asking me out and was always busy at work (it’s true because we work in the same company), but he never tried to make it up and whenever i asked him why he never texted me first or never showed interest, he said that he didnt know. Once, he tried to break up with me because he felt like he was becoming emotionally distant and didnt know why (he said that it happened with most of his relationships, he’s only had 1 serious relationship in his life and it lasted 1 year), i told him that i would support him and that we could work it out, he agreed for us to try again. That only lasted one week, the day before he broke up with me, we hadnt texted or talked in like one day and a half, so i texted him joking and saying “hey why would u abandon me like this?”, and he replied with a totally different topic, and then i said “you havent answered my question”, and he replied saying that we should break up because he felt like he couldnt give me what i deserve and that i need someone who can answer my questions. I tried to talk him out of it but didnt reply and i kept texting him like crazy but he only said “you’re forcing things”. He acted so cold, like he didnt care about what i had to say,but after the breakup he did say he will be there for me no matter what. A week later after the breakup, i found out he had started to date someone. And a few days ago, he texted me saying “i want you to know that nothing has happened, but i met someone”, and then he started to ask me about my health and even offered to go to the doctor with me (i have health issues), i made up excuses not to go with him but he kept insisting, i even told him i didnt want problems with his new girl but he ignored that text and said that he will go with me to the doctor, i thought he was doing it out of pity but he told me that he wants to go with me, i dont know whether or not i should go with him.. i still have feelings for him and i want him back.. can i get any help?
pmav
October 5, 2016 at 2:14 am
yes i think he does, and i believe i forced him too much into it.. do i have a way to fix that as well as getting him back? i honestly dont know what to do since he started seeing someone a week after we broke up, something i find very strange.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 7, 2016 at 8:55 am
Hi Vivian,
politely decline.. and just keep being civil, short and polite at work.. if he has commitment issues then the best you can do is to show you’re independent and have your own life
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 4, 2016 at 6:58 pm
Hi Pmav,
he doesn’t want a serious relationship? You mean he has commitment issues?
Karly
September 30, 2016 at 2:56 pm
Please help. I worked with my flirty friend up until June and we sent texts multiple times daily. Then summer came and we no longer worked together but stayed in touch on average of once a week. He always answered and was super nice. Then mid August, I decided to do no contact on my flirty friend for 30 days. During that 30 days he did NOT try to contact me. Then I contacted him first like Chris says “saw something that reminded me of you.” I was excited he answered within 2 minutes of my text. But it was short “Who and What?” Then I asked him something else. No response. I asked if he was upset. No response. Told him to contact me when he was ready to talk. No response. So I waited 3 days, asked him something else. No response. However, 20 minutes later his best friend “friended” me on Facebook. So I waited 5 days, and wrote a long text explaining that I was sorry if he was mad at me for not texting, that I just needed to not text for awhile. Gave him more apologies of any other reason why he would be mad at me. Asked if he could just tell me if he didn’t want to talk again or if he was mad. No response. Then I got mad. I sent him a text saying if I wasn’t worthy of a text he could eff off. 5 days later (a couple days ago) I felt bad and wrote a nicer message apologizing for my mean text. I also stated that we’ve always been friends and that I wanted to stay friends. Then I apologized for being “needy” and said I’ve just never lost a friend before or had anyone treat me this way. Then I said I’d leave it up to him to contact me when ready. His best friend claims to know nothing. I just don’t get it…he answered me on the very first text right away! Why? Please help. It’s driving me crazy! Thanks, Karly
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 1, 2016 at 3:29 pm
HI Karly,
when you did nc, did you improve yourself? Honestly, it was good first contact, you just made a mistake with the moves following that.
Rafaela
September 28, 2016 at 1:13 am
I really need help,
this guy and i liked each other a lot after being friends for a while, we acted like boyfriend and girlfriend. For one year i truly felt something deep for him, and i could also felt the same. He got really nervouse, he couldnt look at me in the eyes, he shaked, he always showed his real personality, we always grabbed hands, hug, tell deep secrets, etc. We spent one year like this because he never made a move. When vacation came, he started to drink a lot, and to kiss other girls, and posted on snapchat and delete it when i saw it. I was deeply broken hearted because the other day he and i were together and we were still really close. I thought that it was really strange that he acted like that. I kept texting him so he doesnt forget about me. When school started again, he was not the same person. A girl who had a really bad reputation because of being desperate with guys, was into this guy. He told me he wasnt into her. He was starting to ignore me, to avoid me, not even look at me, put bags in the middle of us at the bus, he didnt even text me. Im still into him, i cry because its not the same as before, i really want him back. My friends say that he is just playing with her but why is he acting weird with me, i dont know if he is doing that to forget me because i dont see another reasonable explanation for his actions. He meant the world to me. I really need help because i dont know what to do, it feels like i went through i break up with him. i dont know if im right but i feel he cant get over me like i cant get over him. He is in my mind all the time even thought i want to forget him.
Rafaela
October 12, 2016 at 12:02 am
i friendzoned him? or reversed? We started talking again and he cant look at me in the eyes, he looks to the floor with a smile, idk what to do becuase i dont want to miss interpret stuff. During the whole conversation he looks to the floor but never sees me, sees my eyes or something during the conversation
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 12, 2016 at 12:06 am
Oh, sorry for the type.. You are the one friend zoned.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 29, 2016 at 5:52 am
Hi Rafaela,
it looks like you friendzoned for one year..check this one:
EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend
Nisha
September 27, 2016 at 6:22 pm
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and have had the best relationship. He’s always been colder than me in displaying his emotions and I can never read him. I only ever knew he was into me because he was with me. I started to push him away by getting mad and breaking up with him a month ago after he went quiet on me (he’s an only child who does like his own space). He’s since told me he wants to do him and find himself but when I don’t message him he texts me. We haven’t met up or spoken but really want him back but have no idea what’s going on as he’s just closed himself off. This is absolute torture!!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 28, 2016 at 6:24 pm
Hi Nisha,
so, when did you actually last spoken to each other? How old are you both?
Lynda
September 24, 2016 at 4:39 am
I broke up with my boy friend because of jealously. I did the know contact for two months.after two months I called him to ask if he wanted the jewelry he have me back. He said throw it away. He called me back and said I should donate all the things he had given me. A week later I called him to say I wasn’t angry with him and to thank him for all he had done for me. His reply was I have know more ideas and hung up on me. I love him still and want him back in my life.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 24, 2016 at 6:41 pm
Hi Lynda,
It wasn’t the proper initial contact and did you improve yourself during no contact? And are you still improving yourself now?
YOu should check this out too:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
Damien
September 19, 2016 at 1:38 am
I’ve been in a relationship with my kids mother for 16yrs two months ago we engaged to be married but the last year we were seperated an i slept with a woman an now the female told her i might have a kid with her so now its over my family is broken now i know i done alot of mistakes over the years but im afraid this might be it but why i feel we can move forward but she has blocked me outta hee life an i rarely talk to our kids not to mention we have a 1 year old plus other kids i helped raise her son for 16yrs but can do you think i should let go or continue to fight she tild me when i proposed to her what god brought together let no man or woman tear apart now ww done its been two months an nothing has changed i moved outta the city but for nothing i really love an wanna marry her but what can i do im so depressed an dont wanna live my past mistakes really killed my future an i hate because i really gave it my all this year please help
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 20, 2016 at 8:31 pm
Hi Damien,
Well you’re going to have to face that sooner or later. So, I think the worst has passed and you’re on way out of it. I’m not saying it’s not going to be a long road but at least you’re past it. Right now, you have to prove that you’re just going to co parent with the other girl. So, have your own place.. improve yourself, continue making efforts for your kids in a way that you can. Don’t beg but if you can send a sincere apology, do so.
kayla
September 15, 2016 at 2:19 pm
Hi my ex said he wants nothing to do with me and im a bitch and stuff.I been texting him and callin him.with no response help …I love him and wana fix this
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 17, 2016 at 2:48 pm
Hi Kayla,
don’t say that. You’re not a bitch.. When and why did you broke up? How old are you both? How long were you together?
Vanessa
September 8, 2016 at 5:46 pm
Hi, So me and my ex broke up about a month ago…. we started to have problems because first of all he was not inviting me over very much but we spent so much time at my house he was really close to my parents. he then started to invite me more but this was after I got very mad because he was not. he then quit his job because they were shutting down overnights and going to demote him once this happen he started to act funny. I got upset because he would not go to a concert with me (the concert was not the problem) he was taking his friend away the next weekend for his birthday but did not have money to go to a concert. We then got into a huge fight and basically broke up. He told me I was trying to buy him but I was not I just liked him going to the concerts and different things with me. we have been broken up for a little over a month I have been texting and calling a lot not one reply. I called from a different number he picked up and basically said to stop calling him so much and he is trying to find a job and I am not allowing him to focus on that and then said he had to go. my question is do I have any chance of even getting back together if I leave him alone?
(also before this we had a cruise planned and were also talking about moving in together in the near future.)
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 9, 2016 at 4:47 pm
Hi Vanessa,
I think you appeared clingy to him..Even if you had the right to be angry, when you started to chase him after the break up, you appeares clingy..
listen and follow the advice on this one: Stage 5 Clinger – Getting A Boyfriend Back If You Were Too Clingy
Angela
September 7, 2016 at 10:56 am
We broke up 5 days ago and he’s changed his number we were together for 2 yrs.
His last text was “you are way to nuts for me all the best to you”
Marie
September 6, 2016 at 6:20 pm
We had a very rough breakup, me crying etc., but I didn’t cheat or do anything horrible to him. In fact he said I was the best girlfriend he had ever had, and that I was an amazing person and he didn’t want to hurt me anymore. So the fact that he’s ignoring me is horrible to me. I would never cut someone out of my life like that who I had spent 2 years of it with. It’s just sort of cruel. I don’t know what what I did to deserve it :(. It kills me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 7, 2016 at 10:13 am
Hi Marie,
when did you break up? Are you going to do the no contact rule?
Sarah
September 4, 2016 at 12:42 pm
Really need advice!! My boyfriend broke up with me 3 months ago, he said he needed to sort his head out as he gets depressed. Since then we’ve been talking, and have hooked up a few times and got very intimate. Each time we meet up its like we’ve together again. Then he goes home and it’s back to normal, he says he doesn’t want a relationship. Which made me feel so used and hurt. He’d say maybe we shouldn’t talk but the thought of that was impossible to me so we kept in contact. And every so often I’d be like ‘what’s going on?’ After 3 months of this I had enough and called him after he cancelled plans we had to meet up. I called him names and deleted him and every social media. A few days later I rang him drunk and said sorry, he spoke to be the next day but then said he’s realised he needs space and he hasn’t forgiven me for calling him names. It feels like a cheap excuse to me, after all, he broke up with me but I still want to talk to him?? He said I can’t be so dependant on him and I completely am. I want to get back with him so much. I sent him an email saying that I’m sorry and I’ll always love him and hope eventually we can try again. Still nothing. I’ve no intention of texting him again. So now I’m in a horrible state of waiting. He only has bad things to say about our relationship and I’m sure I’ve lost the love of my life forever.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 5, 2016 at 2:48 pm
Hi Sarah,
Time to change things now.. Don’t just wait. Read this so that you’ll know what to do next:
STAGE 5 CLINGER – GETTING A BOYFRIEND BACK IF YOU WERE TOO CLINGY
Sydney
September 1, 2016 at 11:03 pm
Ok, I need help!! I need a bi-standard opinion!
So my ex and I officially called things off about a month ago. We’ve been in limited contact for amount a month but still texting here and there. However, I recently asked if he wanted to go out and have lunch. He denied….. Unfortunately he said he was talking to someone at the moment and didn’t think it was appropriate. I freaked out and started having a meltdown and he said that he still loved me but needed his space. He is now ignoring me and he mentioned how he wanted to try something new because I basically needed to work on myself. Which he’s right. But does this mean it’s really over? Or does he really just need his space?
I’m too mentally irrational about the situation to truly analyze it myself.
Jasmin
September 2, 2016 at 8:40 pm
We were together for 3 months and he broke up with me cause i was so upset to what he did at first i tried to hold back my feelings.. We work on the same building and he keeps his words like before goes to his post he will be visiting me first. But those time he wasnt doing it so i was upset yet i hold my feelings. Then comes our 2nd monthsarry and its like a normal routine, after work we go out, which pissed me off, we talked about going out to watch a movie cause it was our day off then what happen is that we just ate lunch and then takes me home.. I have no idea why he change all of a sudden but i still hold on my emotions what made me burst in tears is when he forgots my birthday, he insists that my birthday was aug 14 but its 12.. That same day on my birthday, he asked for space.. Two days passed he broke up with me.. Now its like we dont know each other and it hurts me so much..
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 3, 2016 at 4:38 pm
Hi Jasmin,
read this one: EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 2, 2016 at 2:39 pm
Hi Sydney,
it’s leaning more on it’s over.. do you want to try to do no contact rule?
Selina
August 30, 2016 at 11:42 am
My bf and I broke up almost three weeks ago. We had minimal contact the first week. Then all of a sudden it stopped. I ran into him this past weekend and there was no communication we didn’t acknowledge each other. I’ve text, emailed him (I know that’s bad).
But after reading this…. I’m starting the NCR!!!