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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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Post categories
dina
October 18, 2013 at 12:30 am
hi. i know a male family friend for over 20yrs, been in contact as friends over the time, now we older both looking for marriage. recently he got in touch, started dating pretty much straight away for few weeks, got on perfectly, both want the same things etc. he comes from strict ‘culture’, woman must be years younger, i’m couple years older than him. one evening he asks to meet, we did then he says he mentioned something to his mum but she refuses an older wife for him as does everyone so we broke up. he txt me few days ago for religious celebration, i replied with same text (short/brief). has been nc both sides couple weeks. but i miss him so much. what is likelihood he’ll come back? thanks
admin
October 18, 2013 at 6:39 pm
I have never heard of this. What culture means that a woman has to be younger? I am really interested to know this?
dina
October 18, 2013 at 7:19 pm
Thanks for replying. The pakistani culture. He’s old enough, mid 30s, but the woman has to be min 5-10yrs younger. If he opposes family wishes they will be upset and possibly disown him, they have said he will bring shame to family and his dad won’t visit his marital home plus only son will be welcome home.
admin
October 19, 2013 at 7:40 pm
Wow, you learn something new every single day. I feel like I am getting a schooling lesson here but can you explain to me the reasoning behind the rule?
Ivanna22
October 17, 2013 at 12:22 pm
Hi, please advice. I think i screwed things up forever with my ex. We were arguing one day, I drove to his house, he went and filed a report on me and the police came and talked to me so I left. He said he didn’t intent it to go that far, that he didn’t want the police to come find me. The cop told me to leave him alone because I wouldn’t want it to escalate to another level and get a restraining order, that I seem like a nice girl and to find a new guy. I called him and texted him, we met twice after that and had sex, then everything was pretty much back to normal but we argued once again over the phone and he told me he wanted to break up. I told him this relationship is not going to end unless he stops answering my texts and calls and that I wont believe him until he stops responding. So to prove himself he stopped responding. Its been over a week and I called hundreds of times and texted him a hundred times declaring my love, apologizing, begging for him to talk to me again but no response. I think he’s enjoying this and sees this as a challenge. I’m scared it is over for good. We dated in 07-08, then a few times again in 09-10, and got back together in 2012 and broke up again now. I never in a million years thought he would call the police over that stupid argument. I think he did it to look tough in front of his friend because he was there. I can’t believe it. Advice? As you can tell i’m DESPERATE
Ivanna22
October 17, 2013 at 12:25 pm
PS I know i’m acting like a psycho. It’s my desperation getting to me
admin
October 17, 2013 at 6:40 pm
Yea, just an FYI acting psycho is not a way to get him back hahaha.
Ivanna22
October 17, 2013 at 7:31 pm
Any advice?
CJ
October 21, 2013 at 4:24 pm
Yes. NO CONTACT. That means YOU stop contacting HIM. It’s the only way.
admin
October 22, 2013 at 2:06 am
Hahah Thank You!
Kelly
October 16, 2013 at 8:07 pm
So the guy I dated for 3 years chose to end this relationship because he wanted alone time this summer and then I realized it was because he was seeing another girl he met at a party. Seems to me he just wanted to see what someone else is like because there are not an item. He will contact me out of the blue with memories of us but then not respond after I respond to his messages and he texted me today out of the blue updating me on school. Should I try to ignore him and see how that card works? I just feel if he wanted me out of his life..then maybe I should try to ignore him and not respond to that text message so he realizes maybe what he has done or is missing. Need a guys view on that!
admin
October 17, 2013 at 5:45 pm
Yup go full NC on him!
cameron
October 16, 2013 at 12:23 pm
Hi I just wanted 2 know I dated a guy for a month then he broke up with me for reasons we did not talk for a month after that because his best friend that’s also my ex told me he hates me and stuff but since then we were and still are friends I had one boyfriend since and he has had 3 or 4 girlfriends I never stoped loving him and he knows that I think I keep on visiting him and talking to him but just a month ago he kiss me and he has a girlfriend so far it has happened now 5 times but I am scared to say no cause I don’t wanna lose him what should I do??
admin
October 17, 2013 at 2:36 am
Sounds like this guy is a total jerk and player are you sure you want him back?
Cocoa
October 15, 2013 at 3:54 pm
i pushed my bf away by being clingy and needy and controlling, i basically call him all day to check up on blow up his cellphone with text and i never let him go out. now he’s acting very distant we are still together but i want to fix it its been a week of him acting distant the more i talk about emotions the more he pulls away what should i do i not want to lose my bf thanks
admin
October 16, 2013 at 2:27 am
Well, the problem is you turned into a text gnat…
Cocoa
October 17, 2013 at 12:33 pm
so is there anything i can do to fix this i usually let him get away w everything i know its not right like ignoring me and sometimes lying but right now I’m fed up and i want him to change today we talked and he acting distant then he just started ignoring me i asked him if were together and he said “idk” i feel like he knows I’m good chick and wants to keep me stringling along just in case he doesn’t find anything better.. any help on making my situation better?
admin
October 17, 2013 at 6:44 pm
Yea, you need to make him now that you won’t be his “second choice.”
hful
October 14, 2013 at 10:56 pm
my ex bf (who broke up with me) contacted me after 5 weeks NC. and asked me to go to a concert. but he changed his mind later and was going with his friends instead. RUDE and I ignored his few apologies. .
now 2 weeks has passed I left a comment on his Facebook status. and he didn’t reply to the comment..now I feel hurt…he wronged me first why is he ignoring me now..
admin
October 16, 2013 at 1:21 am
B/c he is a jerk.
Some guys are jerks plain and simple and he seems like one to me.
Elle
October 14, 2013 at 7:47 am
Hmm I’m sure you’ve heard it all before. How do I condense this for you.
My ex and I went through a rocky relationship where we both ended up not trusting each other because I was lying or sneaking around looking into things on him while he was essentially looking and talking to other people. I guess we both felt manipulated and began resenting each other and he broke it off after he just believed I wouldn’t change. Although I have my share of resentments, I still want to work it out. I have been doing NC but periodically text him and he usually responds but sounds annoyed. He just returned my stuff I asked to be returned through his friend so I keep thinking OMG it’s officially done. I really think we both can change and somehow grow and I’m sure definitely with NC… but how can I be sure that he isn’t over me? He even said he refused to return my things in person because he didn’t want to make it harder for either of us or extend this “affair/event”..
admin
October 15, 2013 at 1:59 am
Thanks for condensing haha.
So, you want to know if he isn’t over you. Hard to say. I think the fact that he doesn’t want to see you to return your things is telling in that he is still hurt b/c he cares for you.
Elle
October 22, 2013 at 10:37 pm
Thanks for the response. My friend said the same thing. He returned my things to his good friend and told me to retrieve them from there. Of course he told me it was immature to return things and my friend reminded me that I asked him to return them. He did respond when I texted him saying it was in our best interests not to meet also it would hurt us both more, probably because I think if we did meet, we would try to be intimate and you even said that would not be a good idea. After lots of messages, haven’t heard from him and started the NC. I do recall the last thing I asked of him which could have hurt him was, “Tell me how to get over you.” He did say to not contact him and time no contact. He never told me to see someone else.
Guess the last thing is, he is an intelligent guy. I am sure he is aware we were stuck in that cycle of repeating the mistakes without time for us both to fix it. He did say, “I never said we had a future.” I almost interpret that as he doesn’t know what the future holds since he never said other key words to indicate never again.
admin
October 23, 2013 at 8:23 pm
Intelligent guy. What does that mean to you? He is smart or is he just good at communicating?
How long have you been in NC again? I can’t remember.
Elle
October 25, 2013 at 6:23 am
Mm I started the NC on Oct 14.
Intelligent meaning like he isn’t transparent to knowing my intentions and that we were not fixing anything by staying together. He knows if he says something I will either “over-think” it or whatever. I can’t say he can’t communicate because he has about our problems before in depth before.
He just got to a point of just felt like communicating wasn’t even doing anything so stopped trying to fix it.
Anyways, it isn’t like he didn’t do his share to cause me to like not trust him and drive us to break up. Obviously like all the chicks on here, still trying to figure out a way to patch it up between us and i’m doing NC.
I guess what I meant with that last statement was he said, “I never said there was a future”.. but he never said there wasn’t. He did say he wanted to be “friends” but it wouldn’t be anytime soon. Mainly like everyone else, just trying to figure out if there really is a chance or am I just fooling myself.
admin
October 26, 2013 at 5:15 pm
He may have said that statement when he was highly emotional.
People say things when they are emotional in relationships that aren’t always true.
Elle
October 14, 2013 at 7:48 am
Also this was a 2 year relationship
Leah
October 13, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Long story short: my boyfriend of 5 (very happy) years ended it yesterday. He has just begun a career in law and says he does not have time to give to me. I admit he does work very long hours but on weekends etc. He has some free time. I think it could work if only he put in a little more effort. He said he “wanted to be with me but just can’t” since he only wants to focus on his job rgiht now. Is that just an excuse? I know in my gut that he still cares for me. What do I do? I’m scared if I do NC he’ll forget about me since he’s so busy anyway.
admin
October 13, 2013 at 10:43 pm
He definitely won’t forget you TRUST ME.
Leah
October 14, 2013 at 2:35 am
Do you think it sounds like he’s making excuses? I don’t know what to believe anymore
admin
October 15, 2013 at 1:44 am
Well, you could read the lying post I created to get more insight into that.
Leah
October 14, 2013 at 4:35 am
He said he didn’t want to hurt me and that’s why the breakup was actually for my benefit. Because he could not give me the tinme I deserve. If he didn’t want to hurt me why did he break up with me?! That makes no sense. Please help me underrstand
admin
October 15, 2013 at 1:54 am
Its actually pretty simple. HE LIED TO YOU.
Shontelle
October 13, 2013 at 4:24 am
I really hope the NC rule helps…..
I’m 14, (I know, I know… Too young to be in love) But I am. A couple of days ago My Boyfriend broke up with me, and said that it was because everything was trying to keep us apart,and he said that we should wait a little longer. Until the world lets us.
I was in tears when he said this (Through text) and I started to get frustrated… You see, my mum said I shouldn’t have a Boyfriend, so I told him at the time, and then when he broke up with me he said we should wait until my mum allows us, and that we can still be friends. So ok, I’m probably boring you, but ever since he said that ‘We can still be friends,and that we should wait. AND! That he loves me and always will.’ I have been thinking- Yay. Because to be honest- I STILL and ALWAYS will love him too.
I’m seriously sure of it…… Anyways- I texted him and said that I’ll give him space and that, so I did.
Then today I decided to Facebook him and ask him how his weekend was (He was at a camp) and we had a little conversation, (I’m probably over-thinking this) but, It seemed as though he was “Giving me the cold shoulder” not really ignoring me (in the end he did… I think) but I felt as though he didn’t want to talk to me at all. I told him straight up that if he wanted, I could leave him alone but I got no response to that…………………..
SOOOO I’m going to try and use the NC rule for 30 days (fingers crossed) and hopefully I can have a conversation with the guy I Love without feeling hated or ignored… BUT I will see him not next weekend but the weekend after… I kinda have too.
And yea. PLEASE help, because he said he still loves me and always will, and that we should still be friends and wait until later- But I’m doubting it and myself 🙁 I really do love him but I’m scared that he’ll find another gal before we get another chance…. Help?
P.s I feel as if I have partly repeated myself through that… Sorry if I have…
Cheers xx
admin
October 13, 2013 at 10:28 pm
How old is your boyfriend?
Good luck with NC if you need anything feel free to comment here.
Shontelle
October 17, 2013 at 3:25 am
He’s 15 years old, so not a lot of age difference.
And thank you so much, it’s been 4 days so far…
admin
October 17, 2013 at 6:06 pm
15 years old and NC should drive him nuts hahaha.
Shontelle
October 19, 2013 at 2:51 am
Ok, thanks ahaha… Hopefully
Sara
October 10, 2013 at 5:28 pm
hey I try to keep things short but also give some details of our relationship. We have been together for a year things were fantastic he was very, very serious with me and we both completely in love with each other. And all that time we were in long distance relationship but it did not matter. On the summer we moved in together and things got too overwhelming. I moved to London for him (from another country) And we had great time together but the problem was I had no life there no other reason to be there than him. And that does not work. I became from this ambitious social active woman a needy, bored and completely dependent on him. I can not blame myself the situation was hard and I knew exactly why he broke up with after summer was over and I came back. He had doubts that I was not the woman anymore he fell in love with. And during summer I was not he was working I was not.. he had friends I did not. So you see the issue. His reason for break up was “chemistry disappeared” “it did not work” But of course in that situation it didn’t ! So after he broke up with me we talked and he suggested we should not contact each other for two weeks and see if the chemistry comes back. Its been 3 weeks no after that and still no talking. I have done great things to myself and not been sitting around feeling sorry for myself and had strictly kept the no contact. But now I start to wonder after reading this article is he doing NC as well? If he wanted to end things for good he could only send me a message and tell me it is over and we could arrange our stuff back. Half of my things are there and I have keys etc etc– So how do I proceed my plan was to wait him to contact me because he HAS to eventually.
admin
October 10, 2013 at 7:05 pm
It is unlikely he is doing NC. But even if he is it isn’t a bad thing. It iwll give you time to get your bearings.
Sara
October 10, 2013 at 7:27 pm
So what is he likely doing then? Obviously he is not 100% sure as he has not finished the relationship..
CC
October 13, 2013 at 10:07 am
Hi Sara,
I am so sorry to hear about your situation and i know it sucks!
What I would do is to arrange getting all your stuff back from his house. Be nice and sweet when you may also need to arrange this with him over the phone and DO NOT ONCE mention getting back together or become emotional.
Just be cheery (sweet as honey if possible) and try to keep it short and to the point-which is getting all your goods back.
Wish him all the best, be nice and polite and after that just stick with NC.
This is going to add more pressure in a way for him to face life without you and to realise you’re gone for good.
Anyway….be strong and good luck! I hope it works 🙂
Sara
October 15, 2013 at 8:06 pm
Thank you for your advice! I thought that as well..its been 4 weeks now still no talking I will contact him about the stuff when I feel more ready.. This whole situation is ridiculous though! Because we were engaged and he has not called things off for good and we are just not talking just left the situation on hold all photos are still up and I doubt that even most of his friends don’t know! Anyway should I wait still few weeks if he contacts me first? and if he doesn’t then I “finish” the thing by asking my stuff back.. which turns the tables around
admin
October 16, 2013 at 2:41 am
Sure, lets try that plan out!
tony
October 10, 2013 at 5:32 am
you have some very good info here. im a guy so can I utilize your info to try to get my ex girlfriend back?
admin
October 10, 2013 at 6:09 pm
You should be able to haha.
Sadgirl
October 8, 2013 at 2:52 pm
Reposting as I’m not sure if the 1st one went through…
Hi Chris
I’ve reached the stage where I am initiating contact with the ex. I texted him and I’ve successfully been able to get responses from him that are friendly and a little flirtatious. He even texted saying that he’s been thinking about me and he’s glad that i’m doing really well. After exchanging a few texts over a week, I called. We had a really friendly conversation, where he said he’s been thinking about me. He said that a favourite show of ours has added more episodes to Netflix and that we can watch them together. But when I propose we meet up in person for a drink or coffee, he gets really flaky and non-committal. He’ll say that he’s busy that day and that we’ll talk next week, but then he doesn’t follow up. I don’t want to look desperate or demanding, so I play it cool and back off. However, this has happened twice already. As far as I know, he’s not dating someone right now and he’s the one saying all those nice things, so I don’t know what the hesitation is. When we were dating, he wasn’t flaky, so what’s changed? I feel like I’m initating all of the texts and calls, otherwise I wouldn’t receive any from him. But I don’t want to become the “chaser”, as I understand that dynamic doesn’t really work with guys. How can I get him to want to meet me in person without seeming like i’m desperate and pestering him?
admin
October 9, 2013 at 2:13 am
Check out this post it might be helpful: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-making-your-ex-boyfriend-love-you-again/
Dani
October 7, 2013 at 7:57 am
I was on and off with my boyfriend for 3 years. He worked in the forces so was often away and I would support him through it all sending care packages and just being there to offer kind words of encouragement. However on his first leave he slept with his ex and said he wanted friends. A month later he got back in touch and we ended up giving things another try. For 6 months it was bliss however my friends and family were concerned how much I was spending/giving him (tens of thousands worth of items). I said I wouldn’t be giving him anymore money and ended things but out of guilt let his friend take my place on the pre booked holiday I had paid for. On the morning of the holiday he said he had no money sat in the airport, so I gave him a further few hundred.anyway after this holiday he ignored me for months and I’m ashamed to admit I was needy, I just wanted him to fight to prove that my friends doubts about him were not true. A few months later he got in touch and he said he missed me and I was the only one he got excited about a future with plus he opened up about an ill family member and soon we were discussing our future together again. He said he was leaving service and wanted to pursue a career in music to which I offered to get him the equipment to get him off the ground which I did. He then went on a boys holiday and I was supposed to meet him out there but found out he had slept/holiday romance with another girl plus had met up with his ex again when I had said enjoy your boys trip have fun ect. His reason was he thought I was a liar because I said I would give him more money and I hadn’t. I was/am devastated and since then he has changed his number and ignores my emails apart from one where he told me that all the gifts I had got him had been given or thrown away by mistake. Now obviously I know we are over, I know I shouldn’t want him back and I know absolutely that I don’t deserve to be ignored I would have just thought that all the good I did would have least warranted some respect and maybe in time a friendship. Should I hope for that at all? (Apologies for the lengthy post and I know people will say forget him altogether but you can’t always help who you fall for, when we are alone he is a completely different person)
admin
October 8, 2013 at 1:49 am
Haha no problem!
I think maybe a big problem was that he knows he can have you any time he wants. I mean, anytime a girl is spending tens of thousands it is even a warning sign for the guy a little bit (no offense.) Have you been able to do a NC rule?
I guess there is hope that the two of you have been on and off so history had demonstrated that there is attraction.
You might also benefit from nabbing Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.
Sydney
October 7, 2013 at 5:19 am
Hey Chris,
My ex and I dated for 3 months and it was amazing! He was always telling me how much he liked me, and what I meant to him, and I was special and that’s exactly how he made me feel. Then he suddenly told me one day that he didn’t feel a connection anymore. I spent 2 weeks trying to get things back to normal only to give up and tell him it was obvious he didn’t want things to go back to the way they were, but i hope we can still be friends and I understood if he didn’t want that. He agreed to still be friends, and for a month, that’s what we were (we talked everyday still, but only hung out once and he would tell me that he still wanted to kiss me and cuddle with me, even though I said we couldn’t do those things anymore). Then the FWB started, which lasted 3 months, until he ended it because he said he felt bad that it wasn’t going to go anywhere. He told me that he liked me, but not for a relationship. So we went back to the friends thing, but this time he was ignoring me a lot (almost every text I sent). I sent him a text one day asking if we could have a face to face conversation and if I could go to his place so we could take a walk and talk because I had questions, he just said “no, not today”. A few days later I asked him again for an in person conversation, but he denied it once more saying it would just be pointless. Then I went off saying that it was pointless to him because he never cared, but I did so it wasn’t pointless for me…. then the desperate stuff started up and I pretty much begged him to still be friends with me. He ended up telling me that he had fun hanging out with me, but not anymore and that we most likely won’t hangout again because he thought it would be weird after everything we had done, but we could still talk. However, when I tried texting him a week later he ignored me. I haven’t talked to him since and that was 6 weeks ago.
So, I sent my first text to him today after doing 6 weeks of NC, but I didn’t get a response from him at all. The thing is, I know he’s not mad at me, but I’m pretty sure he’s really annoyed with me because I became the crazy, desperate, clingy girl trying to keep him in my life somehow when he officially ended things. You said the only way you would completely cut an ex out of your life was if she really hurt you, but I never did anything to hurt him. If anything, I was always there and he knew it. He knew he could have me whenever he wanted and I guess he got bored with that (I wasn’t an ungettable girl).
So I guess what my question is, after not having any contact with him for 6 weeks (he obviously didn’t try to contact me either) I figured everyone’s emotions would be leveled out and I would actually have a chance of getting a response from him (since he did say we could still talk), but he’s still ignoring me. If all my text did was remind him of the crazy, clingy girl I became instead of bringing back nostalgic memories of the good times we had, is that all he’s ever going to see me as? If he won’t talk to me because he still thinks of me as a crazy, clingy girl, then what’s the point in going back into NC for a few more weeks and trying again (like you say in PRO)? The result would just be the same. I just feel extremely discouraged now.
admin
October 8, 2013 at 1:42 am
Hi There,
Sorry for the late response.
Sorry to hear that he didn’t text back after the first contact. What was the text like?
I wouldn’t give up hope right now. Just keep focusing on you while the both of us try to figure out how to get him to respond.
Sydney
October 8, 2013 at 2:59 am
It’s all good:)
The text was a casual memory of something we did together before. I was playing a scary game with my friends, that I used to play with him, and I told him how it reminded me of the time we played it in his dark basement and how it scared me
admin
October 9, 2013 at 1:32 am
Hmm…. that is not bad. Maybe you could spice it up a bit more.
Sydney
October 9, 2013 at 2:46 am
I actually got a response from him tonight just saying “lol yea that was fun”. Pretty neutral, but at least I got a response :).. even if it took 2 days hahah
admin
October 10, 2013 at 12:26 am
Well, its better than nothing thats for sure.
Kelly
October 7, 2013 at 2:26 am
So confused… My ex-boyfriend and I have lived together almost 2 years now. On Sunday he moved all his things out and left a note saying he wasn’t in love with me anymore…. by Sunday night he said he made a mistake and let his demons get in the way etc. Monday morning he was back to saying he didn’t think that he was in love with me and that every time he didn’t think he was in love with me he would do the opposite. Anyways, he has told friends of mine and myself that he wanted to marry me. He couldn’t be away from me for more than 2 minutes without texting me saying I miss you. Everyone I know including his family and a couple of his family members that I am closer to are completely shocked by the entire thing. Everyone thought we were very happy together. I am so confused. I didn’t text him for 3 days but the last message I had sent was saying that I can forgive him for everything etc etc all positives. When he finally read it(3 days later) he responded saying that he had decided he had been falling out of love with me for quite sometime and he wasn’t sure when it started. That message was yesterday, I did not respond. Was that the right play?
A lot of people are saying this still makes no sense to them.
I love this guy, even though he did a complete cowardly act. But he is not the best communicator in the world. So I kinda get why he left the way he did although I do NOT condone it. I just don’t know what to do…. and I need help…. Do I just never text him again?
admin
October 8, 2013 at 1:28 am
No you can text him again but I think you should let some time go by for you to prepare and him to miss you before you do.
Kelly
October 8, 2013 at 6:26 pm
So I waited 3 days and replied… I asked why he wasn’t in love with me and I still have not received an answer and he still has not read it. Then yesterday posted a rather cruel song on FB which I hope was not in regards to me. Especially after how he left.
Kelly
October 9, 2013 at 6:38 pm
Update: He has also removed his facebook status and removed most of the pictures of us that were in his profile album section except for 2.
admin
October 9, 2013 at 2:18 am
I think that may have been a little too forward…
Jenny
October 6, 2013 at 8:13 pm
I am aware right now he sees me as the typical ex that is needy and annoying who finds any excuse to reach out to him. And that, is a major turn off for guys. He knows I am not in my room crying and is aware I also go out a lot with my friends and even though I’ve never mentioned getting back to gethwr or the breakup, (I actually didn’t fight the breakup and immediately went no contact for a week after the day he broke up with me.) In the last message I sent him apologizing for blowing ofd about the girl he is seeing I mentioned how I didn’t want to keep contact with him bc I had feelings for him. So after I mentioned feelings he doesn’t reply? Not even bc he kbows I am confronting the loss of the baby on my own. Him ans I are the only ones that know. That’s why I ask if something so emotional like this doesn’t encourage him to keep a connection with me, going no contact on him won’t change right?
admin
October 7, 2013 at 12:45 am
Whoa that is a really tough topic isn’t it.
I wonder how I would react if I was him? I think he is dealing with it on his own. Give him his space at this point.
Jenny
October 6, 2013 at 7:52 pm
Hello!
I will try to keep it short… we dated for 6 months when I first broke up with him. He was at Vegas at the time (went for the entire summer) of course he wasn’t interested in fixing things till he came back to town 2 months later. We immediately got back together. 3 weeks later he said this wasn’t what he was expecting and didn’t want to date me. It’s been a month already and we kind of stayed in minimum contact bc I always found an excuse to txt him (usually regarding a miscarriage I had after he had dumped me. I dint find out I was pregnant until 3 weeks later we were done, and I lost the baby days later) I told him about it about a week later after the incident. He was very supportive and tried being nice to me, asked me out to lunch etc. Well tgat didn’t last long. We talked for 4 days straight and met up 3 of those days when I found out he was talking to this girl. I blew up on him. He then ignored me. I apologized the following day saying I was emotional bc of what I am going through and that it wasn’t my place to mingle in his new life. I also said I didn’t want to talk to him anymore bc obviously I stilled care for him and when I see him I see the father of my lost child, so when I can clear that image we can certainly be friends. Well he didnt respond to that either. It’s been a week and I haven’t heard from him.. only from our friends in common that he is out in parties getting home till 6 am.. things he’s done since day one of the breakup. So like everyone else I ask.. is there a chance? I’ve read you comments to other girls and you always say keep the NC rule…keep trying.. as a guy’s perspepective you have to know that there’s many times when it’s just not gonna work. When guys are done, they are done. I wonder why he didnt keep showing support for me after the miscarriage, it’s not like we had been apart for months. Or why he didnt even respond to my last message. I will apply the no contact rule regardless. It’s more for me, I need it. But is there something else I can do?? I’ve heard he’s tired of my s*** bc I am so bipolar so he doesn’t want to deal with me. But I’ve been in a roller coaster emotions this past month with the pregnancy. The last thing I want is for him to think I am just using the loss of the baby as an excuse to reach out to him. Idk what to do.
admin
October 7, 2013 at 12:39 am
Aboslutely do the NC rule. I think right now that is the best idea I can think of. But how you spend YOUR time during NC is very important. What are your plans for that?
Sydney
October 6, 2013 at 3:46 am
I am thoroughly confused on what my boyfriend is thinking. My problem is that he doesn’t know what he wants. We talked after we broke up and he told me how much he missed me and how he wants to start over and etc. but then for the next two weeks he kept going back and forth between being a jerk over text and being the sweetheart I feel in love with. I think that he doesn’t really know what he wants. I’m in the no contact period now for about a week. Please help me Chris I really don’t know what to do and I don’t want to lose him.
admin
October 6, 2013 at 11:54 pm
Sounds like classic behavior from someone constantly changing their mind.
Loz
November 3, 2013 at 7:50 am
Hi,
After some help … I had a very unresolved break-up with my bf of over 4years. It was due to some health concerns of mine and I was having a rough time of it and hadn’t been myself for quite awhile.
My bf advised initially he “needed space” so I would send him a SMS msg every few days to see how he was going. I did not use the NC rule as my partner is Aspergers and suffers Depression also so I was genuinely worried re his safety as obviously I still care about him.
I spoke to him 2weeks ago on Mon and was in a rush as I had to go into Hosp for 2days for some testing relating to my condition and I advised him I would not be contactable till I was discharged on the Thurs.
Well, Thurs came around and I sent him a msg saying I was back home and doing well etc and asked how he was or if he wanted to talk later on that night … I got no reply!
I waited until the Fri and tried ONCE sending a msg and to call him but again no response. This continued through the weekend. I did not call or msg on Sun at all and let it “sit” a little.
On the following Monday I tried calling(went to voicemail straight away) and sent a message advising it had been a week and asking if he was alright. Still nothing.
The next Thurs I had a call from a friend of his asking if I had another ph no as he had, had trouble getting my partner also. I was embarrassed and advised I had no other no and was in the same boat. I rang his Mum’s house(as he lives with his Mum as has a child via a prior marriage) and just asked if he was alright. I was as polite as possible and apologised as was not meaning to bug her but that I was worried re him. She simply said “he had a few things on his plate right now” and pretty much all she said.
I left it for a few more days and then on the Wed when I rang – his mobile DISCONNECTED entirely and still is!! You can imagine my surprise. I feel terrible as he did not tell me he wanted to break-up OR that he didn’t want to talk(if this is what he wanted) so I was left in the dark.
Could you please advise your thoughts on this? I did not think we were over but now … ? Obviously I am very shocked and hurt that he couldn’t have had the grace to tell or talk to me if this was the way he wanted things 🙁
– Loz
admin
November 3, 2013 at 6:08 pm
I am a little confused. Are you saying that technically you are not broken up or tha tyou are?
Lindsey
October 2, 2013 at 3:37 pm
So what’s it mean when your ex boyfriend picks and chooses what text he replies too. Hell reply and then ill say something else and then no reply. He text me a couple times asking me how my new house is. Ill reply. Then nothing. The one time he asked what all I wanted to do to my house. I replied and then he never said anything else. We don’t text everyday. He’s usually short. But he was like that when we were together. I asked him if I left my suitcases at his house when I lived there with him. He replied. Asking he where j left then and that he looked for them. I relied saying where I had then and asked if I could come get them. He never answered. I stopped over and he wouldn’t answer the door. I know he was home and ignoring me. But we’ve texted after that. So hell text me but won’t see me. Idk what to thjnk. He’s so confusing me. Help!?!?!
admin
October 3, 2013 at 1:41 am
It means that sometimes he may not be in the mood to respond or that you need to make your texts really interesting.
Maria
October 2, 2013 at 3:27 am
Hey there Chris, I’ve been reading your posts since I broke up with my ex 3 months ago. We’ve had communication during that time for 2 months, but none for the entire month of September. I heard he’s dating someone new from a friend and seems “happy”. I also told him back then that we can’t be friends coz I can’t look at him differently but I still love him. We dated for 3.5 wonderful years and had great memories together. Got any advice for me? 🙁 thanks
admin
October 3, 2013 at 12:46 am
Well, have you completed NC yet? Whats your texting plan going forward.