Understanding Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You- And How To Get Him To Stop

1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

lizzy

November 11, 2017 at 6:46 am

Hi! My Best Guy Friend (with benefits) of 10 years has always had a “thing” for me yet I just never had the same feelings for him. Until, recently… my heart took a 180* and has suddenly fell head over heals for him. IDK how or why, but It seems as if he has changed to be more “manly” (no more insecurities within, productive, life on track, busy, etc.). Only one problem, he went from “loving me” deeply to shunning me… essentially everything you said in your blog. However, my million dollar question is, I was never in a relationship with this man, he was my best friend who loved me 1st, then I can around, we “played” relationship for about 3 months of our 10 year friendship and now he’s backing off from calling everyday (1-3 times a day) to calling 1-3 times a week. Yes, due to his change, it has made me more “needy” by texting all the “Spotify” love songs to him that I hear as well as texting him one after another when all I receive is unanswered text messages. Given he is OCD, Does he have a GF? (He says he’s just busy with work). —-clearly a lie as he was never to busy to call me before. We haven’t seen each other in 3 months but for some God awful reason, he will call or text out of the blue like it was yesterday we last spoke. It seems as if he is leading me on to hurt me or I don’t even know. Any thoughts?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2017 at 1:06 am

Hi Lizzy,

check this one:
EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship

Ntokozo

November 1, 2017 at 2:10 pm

So I was with my ex for a little over a year. he broke up with me 3 months ago and I did the begging and pleading. for about a month and a half. then I implemented full no contact. he did not try to contact me during NC. when nc was done I text him and we actually spoke properly but as time went on whenever I text him he will respond but ignore me mid conversation. this has happened multiple times now. I really dont understand.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2017 at 9:33 pm

Rest for a week from initiating..

Jules

October 9, 2017 at 6:29 pm

Help! Me and my boyfriend got into an argument Monday and broke it off with me. Says he’s done, he wants out, he’s not happy where he’s at, he loves but is not in love with me anymore. We have been going through our ups and downs for about 2 months now and me wanting him to move in with me. Fights and arguments, we keep making up and getting back and working but it came to this. We have been together for almost a year and a now. 2 weeks ago after our blow out he decided it is best for us to move in and sign a lease together and after Monday we wanted me off. I took my name off this last weekend. He says he doesn’t have it in him anymore and doesn’t want any relationship and is tired of me not trusting him and arguing. I really don’t know how or what to do to get him back. He still has my things and have yet to give them back. We were suppose to meet last night and have a face to face but never responded to me and now he’s ignoring me. He said it’s over and he’s not going to change his mind. Besides the arguments we had our relationship was great. No lying, no cheating. Just 2 weeks ago we told each other we were never going to leave one another and we were find just Sunday and in love and he was coming to see me Tuesday. We have been basically staying together throughout our whole relationship. I just got tired of his new roommates and wanted out but we definitely are great living partners. What do I do? Is he just still upset? Is he really over? He seem really serious this time about breaking up but I swear we were fine and in love a few days ago. Everything has been great. I’m so confused. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 10, 2017 at 2:49 pm

Hi Jules,

Do you want to try the no contact rule?

HelpMeInNYC

October 4, 2017 at 10:03 pm

My ex and I went on a break after a few big fights back in April. He broke up with me in May as he said I wasn’t giving him enough space and he needed time to work on a big project and maybe we could try talking when he was done, but we would never get back together. I waited 30 days then reached out, my first try didn’t get a response, then my second did, but no follow-up. A couple weeks later I tried again discussing a topic related to both of our work, but he explained that he didn’t want to talk to me still. I then found out he had gotten back together with his ex girlfriend less than two months after we split (they were together for a year and 9 months, but hadn’t been together for two years. they work together, and she was seeing someone else when they got together). A few weeks later, I sent a nice, kind message, not mentioning I knew he was dating her, with no response. A few weeks after that, I sent another message, which ended up engaging him but he was harsh and still not treating me kindly (he wanted me to do him a favor, not speak to me). It ended in a huge fight. I let 6 weeks go by, and tried again. Last week, and this week. It’s been 5 months since our break-up and 6 months since we went on a break, and I have done the NC a few times now. Two days before we broke up he told me he didn’t know what he would do without me in his life, and now he hasn’t given me more than a one line cold response since, and won’t even speak to me or answer me. How do I change this and get him to talk to me again/will he ever speak to me again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2017 at 8:23 am

The more you do nc, the less it can help you.. Its a small chance now, it will depend on your first contact message and your posts.. If he sees them, would he think you have moved on abd be comfortable in being friendly again?

If he still doesn’t reply or does but negatively, that means you have to move on

Penelope

September 30, 2017 at 12:42 pm

I met my guy 3 years ago at an old job, at the time he was married and we would talk about our daughters and school, all very benign. Last year, I took a job that moved me two hours away. He and I were no longer in contact when I left the previous job.

In February 2017, I received an email from him that he had found my email on my work webpage and forgot that I had moved. We exchanged a few emails and he said he was now a single dad and had been divorced for about a year. I didn’t pick up on the fact that he wanted to ask me out, and two months later I emailed him to see if he wanted to grab a drink. We wound up going on a date, talked fo four hours. He hugged me, didn’t try to kiss me, and even texted to see if I made it home safely. After seeing each other for about a month, we decided to be an exclusive couple. We didn’t sleep together until after that point.

Fast forward to September, he retired on September 1, and he wad over at my house late one night, and I told him I love him for the first time. He didn’t say it back, and I was a little hurt, but I told him that I shouldn’t have said it. He started pulling away at that point, we started seeing each other less, but texting remained constant. Last Friday, he said he really didn’t want to break up, but he felt that I was unhappy, and I told him that I was happy. He told me at that point he needed to be selfish and wants to be alone. I was hurt, and didn’t understand. We talked about it, but that was his final decision.

We texted the Saturday after the breakup, and he said it isn’t my fault, he just isn’t ready for a commitment. Then on Sunday, I apologized for my behavior both during and after our relationship because I realized I came across as a little insecure. He replied that it wasn’t my fault, and he was sorry that he just wasn’t ready. So we didn’t text Monday or Tuesday, and I sent a text saying that if somewhere down the road we could be friends that would be great. He didn’t respond, and then Thursday he said this situation would be easier if I hated him, and I asked why, to which he responded with he still really likes me but he just isn’t ready for a relationship. I texted back that I still like him and hating him was not something I was willing to entertain. He responded with “ditto”.

We haven’t talked since Thursday, and I can’t tell if he was doubting his decision or if he is just done. I am ok on my own, I have been a single mom for 15 years, but I wanted to share my life with him, not that I needed him. I guess I just wonder if there is hope for us to reconcile? Can he actually mean he wasn’t ready yet? Or do I just try to heal and move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2017 at 10:12 pm

Hi Penelope,

Try the no contact rule first.. If it doesn’t work then it’s easier to move on

Jellyhearts

September 12, 2017 at 2:10 pm

I’m quite confused about the situation because I didn’t text him or call him for weeks. And I’m pretty sure he’s not someone who would punish me by ignoring me, or using no contact on me. And I’ve done nothing like cheat, lie or manipulate him, so I’m really not sure why he is ignoring me. The only reason I can think of is that he is trying to get me to move on by ignoring me but that does not really make sense.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2017 at 1:15 pm

That’s probable.. Initiate after a week..

Hopeful

August 2, 2017 at 12:05 am

I completed 32 days of NC hoping to hear back from my ex. During that time I worked on myself, used the time to heal, and tried to just be a better person all around. I hoped to hear back from him, but after a small accident that stressed me out, I reached out to him on a whim not knowing if he’d reply. Luckily he did. He was concerned, supportive, and polite. Never once was the breakup mentione, getting back together or the reason why (although not true, he thought I was texting someone during our relationship). During a heated argument, he broke up with me over a month ago. I reached out a week after and although we didn’t fight or anything of the like, the breakup was still necessary to him. I then started NC. Although the text conversation was nice, he never replied back to my last message. It was basically a thank you text for hearing me vent. I don’t know where else to go from here. Should I wait for him to reach out or text him again.

Camila

August 6, 2017 at 12:43 am

hi amor, the venting was mostly about the accident (car trouble). nothing major. I decide to reach out after 3 days just to check in on him as he often posts sad tweets online. He responded almost immediately again being positive. In the the convo however, he took a particular “are we okay?” message the wrong way and he he got pissed off because he thought i was talking about why we broke up (I think he still blames me for it). I didn’t want to argue so I left him with a message saying “I am not looking to start anything. I just care and worry about you sometimes.” He didn’t reply till the next day saying “I care for you too, but if you keep bringing it (the breakup) I won’t reply. You won’t change my mind”. I am surprised I even got a reply. I replied hours later saying, “understood. I know you don’t say much, but you have been stressing. Hope work is okay and that you’re feeling better (he had a small accident before). He hasn’t replied, but if he does what should I say or do? I want to keep texts going and build rapport now that I am done with NC.
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 9, 2017 at 11:34 am

I think you meant if he’s ok right? That’s a good reply
Just lay low for now before initiating again. And don’t use emotional, negative or neutral topics
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 4, 2017 at 4:55 pm

What was the vent about?

Julia

July 13, 2017 at 4:22 pm

My ex boyfriend broke up with a month ago, we were having a distance relationship. He told me that we wanted to be my friend, and I agree. Because we didn’t have commit anything serious and because he wanted me as a friend, and a respect that. I did the NC rule, and I’m still doing. But now we return and I want to see him but he is ignoring me. He doesn’t give me signs of live. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2017 at 6:45 pm

If you’re still in nc.. Reaching out means you broke it and you need to restart the count..be active in improving yourself and in posting

Van

July 10, 2017 at 10:26 am

I met him in Independent American Day at 2016. He gave me his phone number and I called him after 7 months later. We had dating for 2 weeks, that was a very good time of us. He took care, spent time for me and always suggested to have sex with me, but I rejected many times, because I hadn’t ready yet. One day, I called him to come my home but I let him waiting me for about 20 mins (I were sicked and fall in sleep, so I couldn’t welcome him). Until I knew, he left and we had a big terrible argument. I didn’t know the way to stop his angry and he attacked me so much. He told many not good things about me such as: I need him just because of his money, he talked he won’t never insight me. I were so angry him and said goodbye and remove him out my contact. After 2 and half months, I still couldn’t accept his rude, I texted a message for him and apologized him and explain the reason and told him that “I didn’t need his money, because I am having a very good job”. He texted message again. But I just responded him a short message and I stopped, because I still feel hurt from the argument. After 3 days, I texted him for a meeting, but he didn’t respond. It was 5 days ago. I don’t know what should I do know to let him back again. Because I really miss him.

Van

September 12, 2017 at 6:48 am

finally, I and him talked together. We haven’t yet met together, just texted on phone and he asked me if i think of anything in future with him. I answered him honestly that I haven’t think anything about the future with him. I just like him. He told me that he doesn’t want a deeply relationship, he is just attached physical by me, that he is worry if I and he are together I will love him and I will be hurt. Finally he suggested me a friend in benefit. I was sad and I kept silence and didn’t answer him for 2 days. Actually in deeply my heart, I want a happy ending although at this time I haven’t yet think of. Should I change topic of text or give up or agree with him and find the chance to create emotion attraction with him? How to attach him with emotional? It is so hard.
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2017 at 8:37 pm

At least he was honest with you but you have to move on because you want different things
Van

August 11, 2017 at 1:42 am

he texted message many time for me in 3 days continuously. But I didn’t reply.
He said he waiting to meet me, but it seems i not like him.
I am sad. I really like him, but I really don’t know what should I text him now? He didn’t reply my message for 3 weeks, and now he texts message for me and he wants i reply him immediately. It’s so fun.
But i really like him, and i want to let him back.
I still keep no contact rule of 30 days. Now just is 12th day.
What should I do now? Should I reply him? And what should I texted him. Do I should invite him to a coffee shop?
EBR Team Member: Amor

August 11, 2017 at 4:48 pm

nope… stick to your nc.. and after nc.. start with texts first, and then later on calls and then later on meet ups.
Van

July 31, 2017 at 7:58 am

Yes, I executed no contact rule in 2 weeks until he actives to text message for me and I replied him.
YOu means I must execute no contact rule in 30 days even if he texts message then I shouldn’t reply him anymore in 30 days next.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2017 at 4:57 pm

Yup..
Van

July 27, 2017 at 10:30 am

Yes, after 2 weeks, he texted message for me again. We was chatting together. I told him that I were so happy to see his message and I miss him everyday. But he told he didn’t believe me, but it up to me.
He asked if I were waiting his message? I answered him that I didn’t. That I thought him forget me
He told he wish he could forget me
I sent a photo of a picture that I promised to paint to gift him like an apologize form the argument. He told “it’s beautiful”.
After that he didn’t text with me anymore and I didn’t know to say anything with him. At that time was 11:45pm, so I texted him I slept. He texted good night to me.
Next day, I texted him that :”i thought I dreamed you, but that were true, and nice to meet you”. He didn’t responded my message. It is 2 weeks, he doesn’t contact me. I don’t know if I should text message for him anymore. I finished painting the picture for him but I don’t know if he wants the picture or not to send it to him.
I think of him so much, but I don’t know what should I do now or i should give up.
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 29, 2017 at 7:40 pm

Did you mean you started nc and then he texted you after two weeks and you replied? That means you broke it.. Even if you hadn’t talked for two weeks again now, you have to restart the count after reading this and make it at least 30 days and to be active in improving yourself and in posting..and after it slowly rebuild rapport.. Dont send messages that look like you’re chasing him..
EBR Team Member: Amor

July 14, 2017 at 7:57 am

Hi Van,

Try at least 30 days of nc, be active in improving yourself and in posting and then slowly build rapport with him after 30 days

Mallory

June 15, 2017 at 5:15 pm

My ex-boyfriend texted my mom a couple weeks after we broke up and said, ” can mal call me ” and I answered back to him but he never replied to any of the messages?? What does that mean??

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 17, 2017 at 6:25 pm

that’s hard to say.. there can be a lot of reasons for that

Cathy

June 6, 2017 at 4:25 am

I commented on the rebound relationship article a few days ago. My ex was doing some stupid things on the weekend like cheating on his new girlfriend by sexting me, but he was opening up and for a few hours it felt like we were close again. But then I posted a video of me and my two friends (both guys) dancing together at a club, and when I messaged him the next day he just read and ignored! Now it’s been over a day and he’s been online multiple times, but he hasn’t made any contact with me at all. I don’t want to message him again because I don’t want to seem needy, clingy or for him to think I’m into him, but I want to talk to him! Do you think he feels guilty about the compliments he gave me about my pictures I posted of myself and the inappropriate stuff that followed in his texts? His girlfriend is long distance so I doubt she would’ve found out, I can’t think of any other reason for him to ignore me… is him ignoring me a bad sign??

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 9, 2017 at 11:59 am

yeah, he probably felt guilty trying to cheat on his current gf.

Lea

May 25, 2017 at 1:35 am

I’ve been dating this guy for a couple of months. Things were going ok. Well, my mom passed away two weeks ago. She was not ill, so it was a total shock. During that time, obviously I was an emotional wreck (rightfully so). Even though, this guy would reach out everyday, I felt like he was not making time for me to help me grieve. His mother happened to pass away 3 years ago, the same week as mine both of which passed days before mother’s day. Needless to say, mother’s day was not easy for him either. Well, in my emotional & needy state of mind, the day of my mom’s funeral, I deleted him from facebook. He realized it & asked me over & over why & what did he do wrong. He was concerned & bothered & wanted to talk about it. I blew him off the day of the funeral & said I would explain later maybe in person. Instead, the next day, I sent him a text stating that I felt he wasn’t there when i needed him & that I felt our timing was off & that we should leave it alone. I basically broke it off in a text. He was upset I am sure but his response was a simple “k”.
We left each other alone a little over a week. I reached out today & apologized for how I acted. He responded & said he understood and that he also shut everyone out when his mom passed away. So, I thought we were on the right track. I said he was so sweet to be so understanding & that I never meant to push him away. I explained that I really just wanted him there but didn’t know how to communicate that to him. Well he continued to explain that he did the same thing when his mom passed & he attributed his breakup to his ex to his behavior at that time because he shut his ex out while going through a depression. Well, I guess I said the absolute wrong thing! I said well you can always go back & fix that & make it right. I guess to him, that meant I was saying I understood if he wanted to try to win his ex back. Well he read that comment but did not reply. I then said I did not mean for that to come out that way & that I hoped he had not taken me wrong. He read that comment but also did not reply. So i finally said that I guess I messed up again & can leave him, alone if he wants? Also, read & no reply!! Is all hope lost? I should mention, I never was a text gnat before ever. I would say it was 60/40 with him doing most initiating. Advice?

Edward

August 17, 2017 at 1:20 am

My exgf sent me an inbox after a year of nc. I never replied back and I never wanna hear from her again, I’m reading this page to prevent ways in which she could try to get again back to me. Cheating liars don’t deserve a second chance. Thanks for the guide, served me a lot as a heads up to know what that disgusting woman could try next and how to counter that cause obviously ignoring her permanently hasn’t worked.
Lea

May 29, 2017 at 11:22 pm

Thanks for asking. I have good days and bad days.
I never thought of it that way. That he would just want to give me space. Well I sent a nice apology after that and again he read it & did not reply. That was days ago. So I guess it’s safe to say, he’s done.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 27, 2017 at 2:05 pm

Hi Lea,

I’m sorry about you mom.. How are you now? maybe he just wants to give you space.. he doesn’t want to talk because he knows you’re still emotional

D

May 19, 2017 at 1:56 am

We dated for 7 months. Honeymoon period, I know. He’d been a year out of a relationship with a highly abusive ex, and they have a kid together.

The relationship we had was pretty much the best thing I’ve ever had as far as relationships go. We just kind of….fit, as far as I was concerned. Usually on the same page with everything. He let his little son get close to me. Met and spent time with his family. I don’t think he ever showed any signs of not loving me or trying to keep me away or being protective of his phone or anything. He always open and honest with me. There were communication issues in the relationship, but that was because both of us have a difficult time conveying feelings in general. He tried to commit suicide in Febuary and the day after, I took him out to dinner and then we walked by the water in town. I never wanted to do anything but love this kind, patient man. Love him, and at least do something to dampen the pain I knew he went through.

All it took was a really dumb fight we had when we were both tired (our first one) for him to dump me. He told me a bunch of stuff – that he’d started feeling less in love with me, that his life was a mess and he couldn’t have a girlfriend, I’m not the “one”, he doesn’t see a future, he loved me but wasn’t in love with me, that he cared and respected me too much to let me stay in a relationship with him….I never understood any of it. None of it added up, and three weeks later he’s friended some other girl on FB and they talk all the time on there. So much for not wanting to waltz women in and out of his son’s life. They’re not Facebook official, but that doesn’t mean anything.

Before I decided to go NC, we kinda talked back and forth off and on. But every few days or so I’d fall into this pit of complete and utter despair and start asking him more questions about the breakup. He answered every one of them. Even told me it wasn’t my fault and that he’s to blame and that he always screws up everything. Just because I got mildly annoyed with him one day.

The last time I spoke to him, he mentioned that he felt happier with himself about things he can’t change (forgiving his ex wife). We had a tiny conversation, about 30 minutes after that, until he stopped responding. It’s like that now – half the time he ignores my texts and never returns my calls. Sometimes he remembers I exist, but only for a short time. Any questions relating to meeting up or hanging out get ignored. He suddenly has all these amazing new friends and they go on all kinds of adventures, and him and the new girl talk about indie shows and cakes on Facebook all the time – stuff I never even KNEW he was interested in. She’s beautiful, looks to be about 90 pounds, and has a kid already – all probably points for him. I feel like I never had a chance.

I’m doing NC now, if only because I’m tired of being ignored and I want to know if it’ll actually work. But I’m still terrified that he’ll continue to ignore me even after NC is over. The last thing I wrote him was a letter telling him that I believed we could still work out, if he wanted us to, and that I understood why he left. I shouldn’t have, but I was emotional at the time and figured if I couldn’t reach him through text, maybe he’d read a note.

I don’t even know what I did. I never cheated. He never cheated. The only fight we ever had was the one that made him dump me, and it was just over a tiny misunderstanding (but he ignored me right after we snapped at each other and wouldn’t let me talk about it). I don’t understand what I ever did to him to make him hate me so goddamn much. I literally did nothing but support him, give him pieces of advice, encouraged him when he felt that he’d never get his life in order. I even bought him something he’d been wanting as a celebration when he told me he was going back to school.

I’d even take a ‘get away whore, don’t ever speak to me again” over radio silence. He wont’ block me on anything, but he won’t speak to me. He avoids me, and we live across from each other (parking lot width) in the same apartment complex. I still love him and I want to try to get him back in my life, but how the hell can I do that when he’s so determined to hate me and ignore me? Would he even let me in with his new perfect life if we did get back together?

And yes, I’m in NC, ends June 10th or so.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2017 at 10:34 pm

I dont think he hates you.. he’s probably more of annoyed because you’re still there, your presence or messaging him is like chasing as of now..
check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Got Bored With The Relationship

Confused

May 17, 2017 at 9:28 am

Hi there, I work with my ex and everything was going well with him, he was starting to act like he used to when we were together, messaging every day, trying to see me, swapping to shifts I was on, flirting, being supportive etc. Then I had some problems at work and it was like he had a total brain wipe, started going on about giving off “vibes” I don’t think you can class a guy explicitly saying they want to spend time together and turning up where you are to do it as “vibes” – Anyway, I told him that he was doing it because he wanted to and chose to enter no contact again after that. It’s been 17 days and he has sent nothing, which is fair enough but now I hear that he’s switched off the one shift we work together, any ideas why? I’ve been off work three weeks and he’s gone from trying to work with me and saying he’d be happy to be on shift even if I wasn’t talking to him to nothing and actively changing off shift. I can’t tell if he’s mad at me, trying to prove something or something else, suppose it’s possible work could have made him but why wouldn’t he tell me that?
Help please!

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 19, 2017 at 7:28 pm

why should he tell you that? it would be better to assume that you’re not the reason of his actions because if you are, that’s his problem, not yours.

Sonya

April 18, 2017 at 10:04 am

My long distance boyfriend cheated one me . he used to sex chat with other women. He also spent a night at some hotel room with some girl . When I got to know and asked him about it he lied but then had to accept when confronted with proofs. I broke up with him saying I won’t be able to trust him ever again. He started crying but I could not forgive him at all.

I started with this no contact thing . it went on for 2 months . in this period he made a new girlfriend in his city itself. he used to text me begging me to talk to him. I used to read and ignore it completely. One day he kept calling and texting as he wanted to meet me and talk to me for few minutes. I ignored it again. He went back to his city. After which he stopped calling and texting me. I feel bad for ignoring him now . I don’t know why but I liked when he used to text me but every time I saw his text I could recall all the lies , that new girlfriend, sex chats etc. I can’t get over it . I keep checking his last seen on WhatsApp and I am going crazy. Around 10 days I could not control my emotions at all and texted him a long text that he won’t get a woman like me ever and I gave him the most crucial days of my life . he read it and sent a stupid text. I did not reply at all . today is day 11 and we haven’t texted each other till now. Will no contact help him understand his mistake? ….. I truely loved him .. How could he make a new girlfriend after just 1 month of break up.

I just can’t stop thinking about him . I tried not to look at his photos and profile on Fb or WhatsApp but its not helping at all . please tell me what to do . I am in total mess

( few days back I uploaded a profile picture and he like it on Facebook , is he over me?)

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 25, 2017 at 3:33 pm

No contact is more for you..not for making others change because we can’t control others..you have to assess your standards and think what your next step is from a point of view that he will not change

Never ending circle!

April 10, 2017 at 8:52 pm

I’ve been on and off again with a guy who has anxiety. Every time he ghosts me, it’s complete but he always comes back. This time, out of stress and anxiety he says “f@$ it” and stops talking to me. I didn’t text him or call him. Two days later, he blocks me on fb. He turns in the other direction if he sees me out and avoids me at all cost. It’s only been 4 or 5 days, and I will maintain the NC but I’m not even sure wth he is thinking. I haven’t hurt him, haven’t cheated, haven’t, lied , etc. I just made the comment that I was used to him cancelling our plans alot. And that sent him over the edge. He’s not a bad guy, I just feel he needs to mature maybe? I can’t be with someone and not be a able to be open and honest with what I think, so while the a comment may have been harsh, it’s the truth. We along great when we were together, it’s the not seeing each other for a few days that causes problems. I guess I’m commenting because it’s not always about what you’ve done to hurt the ex to have them avoid you. If he continues avoidance, then it’s fine, it’ll hurt like a b#$# for sure, but it’s him losing out on a great relationship, not me.
Sara

April 8, 2017 at 1:44 am

Hello
I need some advice. I was seeing a guy for 2 months and he was really into me…he did the chasing while I put him in minimal effort. He would say things like there is nothing I dont like about you…etc. We had one moment where I showed a bit of my jealous side which he said had turned him off a bit but I appologized. Other than that nothing dramatic happened but eventually he didnt end up asking to hang out anymore and I called him out on it. He said he didnt see a relationship happening and we were very different people, even though he said he liked that about me in the beginning and we wanted the exact same things in a relationship. I didnt demand anymore of an explanation for his sudden disinterest in me and gave him 30 days NC. After that I texted him here and there for about a week or 2 and got pretty positive responses except not many questions from him regarding what Ive been up to. I want him to initiate contact now so I went another week NC and still nothing. Is he just being nice and responding politely or is there a chance he might still be interested since we ended things so abruptly?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 3:29 pm

how much did you improve during nc and were you active in posting? are you still doing that now and what topics were you using and how are you ending the messages?

Emma

April 1, 2017 at 7:18 pm

Hi, I need some some advice I am a confused!! Me and my ex have been broken up for 6 months now. We were together for two years with a break up in between but we got back together (me doing all the chasing). I started the no contact rule after…. we started texting about three weeks ago, it wasn’t all good. He said it wasn’t still weird being separated and we talked about work and he was happy with the success i was making. We then spoke on The phone the week after and it was good, said it wasn’t nice to hear my voice again and he would speak to me through the week.. I never heard anything so text and asked how his week wasn’t going. HE replied a day later then I replied. Then he just completely ignored me for the whole weekend. I made a stupid mistake and text saying that if he didn’t want to talk it was fine but just let me know…. 5 days later and still no reply???

Do I just give up now and let it go? HE liked to play mind games but I’m so confused, when we were texting and speaking on the phone it was great!! AND now nothing? Just ignored and I don’t know now why. I want to text again but know I shouldn’t!! Please help!

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 3, 2017 at 7:10 am

Hi emma,

dont rush, rest for two weeks and then initate again

Ana

March 30, 2017 at 12:43 pm

My Ex and I broke up 1 month and 2 weeks ago, We wear together for 1 year (half of the time in LDR). We both work in a consolation firm so we travel a lot for work and also for pleasure. We had broken up 3 weeks before this last break up and he came back to me after 2 weeks of no contact saying that he wanted to fix things, I took him back no questions asked.. we did say he was going to pay more attention to me (as that was the reason why we broke up) and I was going to be more understandable in hes priorities (as he always said hes work came first).. but non of that happen. So I ended up breaking up with him and then regretting it. He said then that he had just realized that he did not have time for a relationship right now and that he loved me and probablly always will but that he could not be with me or anybody right now. Firs I took it really bad and I sent him angry texts saying that he could never speak to me again and that he was going to try to get me back after he stopped being stresssed (just like last time) but that this time it wasn’t going to work…. that same day I apologized for being so mean and told him that I was really hurt because I felt that we did not really try as we said we would. He answered the same thing saying that he did not want to be in any relationship…. 1 week after that I sent him a message saying that if he loved me we could try to work things out that it would be really sad to let everything go just because he did not have time right that moment, he answered saying that “Honestly, I love you so much but I dont even have time to sleep right now.. I’m so busy”… its been a month since that and it turns out that we are assigned to the same office this following 2 months, so I saw him after a month and he barley acknowledges my presence… I told him I wanted to talk to him for 5 minutes and when he talked I started telling him about how my month had been and he was really happy to hear my news (as I tried to keep it positive and only tell him good news). Then I told him that it was really awkward that we could not say hi to each other etc and he told me that it was too hard and too soon for him,… I left for holidays and sent him a message with a ” I just watched this move and I thought of you.. (note that this is already after the 30 day NC) .. he did not answered. I don’t know what to do, I love him I think we can make each other happy and make it work.. but I feel like he is decided to move on (even if it hurts him)… I think he has this one goal that is hes work right now.. what do I do, its like talking to a wall.. I feel that if he is not willing to try now that we are on the same place it will never happen after that.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 7:26 pm

Hi Ana,

restart nc, approach it like this one:
EBR 032: What To Do If You Work With Your Ex Boyfriend

Debbie

March 29, 2017 at 7:07 pm

I told my boyfriend of over a year that I wasn’t happy about two weeks ago. I was very emotional during the conversation, told him that I loved him, but I told him I wasn’t happy because it wasn’t feeling like much of a relationship lately and he agreed (neither of us had been putting in the effort to see each other frequently enough and let life get in the way). I honestly thought the conversation that night would be us trying to figure out how to get back to where we were- by making each other a priority. I left that night with either of us saying it was “over” and we were both emotional. We hugged tightly but didn’t say anything and I just left because I was breaking down so badly. I have left him 2 voice mail messages since then. The last one I asked if he would meet me, told him I loved him and asked that he please call me back. I left that message 4 days ago and he is not responding. Can I do NC now, or have I already done too much damage by being seen as needy?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 30, 2017 at 4:02 pm

Hi Debbie,

you can still do nc and start the count after this..

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