Understanding Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You- And How To Get Him To Stop

1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

Julie

November 18, 2016 at 12:29 pm

Hi,
My ex broke up with me 30 days ago. I tried no contact off and on but we work together so we have to have contact. About 10 days after the breakup he came over to watch a sporting event and we ended up sleeping together. He told me the next day that it couldn’t happen again and if we couldn’t be just friends then we couldn’t be friends at all. I told him I understood, and didn’t reach out again. A few days went by and he was acting very playful and flirty with me at work so I texted him later asking how he was and he said not good, he was all over the place, etc. he then asked if he could come over that night. I agreed and he came over and spent the night. This happened a few more times that week and at the end of the week I asked if we could give it another try and he said no. I stopped contacting for a few more days, then reached out in a friendly manner and he came over again and spent the night. In the meantime, we are both on dating sights trying to meet new people. We have had conversations about how rare our friendship is(his words) and how our sex life is the rarest of rare(his words) and how we don’t want to lose that. This past week he has been sick and out of work. He came over a few nights ago and let me take care of him, made him soup and his favorite sandwich, bought him cold meds and he stayed the night. He even cuddled me a bit. That brings us up to date. He messaged me when he got back to his place yesterday saying I’m home now, thanks for everything. I told him I’d take care of him anytime and to please just tell me if he wants me to stop asking to see him and he’s told me a few times not to stop asking, yet he hasn’t responded to any texts in almost 24 hours. Not even the text where I said I think you got me sick, are you going to come take care of me, or the text I sent several hours later asking if he remembered the name of a bar we went to once….I’m not sure what to do. It’s been 2 weeks since I asked for another try, I’ve made it clear that I just want him in my life and he says the same. Not sure how to proceed from here…..

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 20, 2016 at 6:46 pm

Hi Julie

dont be his booty call.. Dont ever sleep with him again if you’re not officially back together.. Are you going to try the no contact rule again?

Rita

November 15, 2016 at 9:36 pm

Hi,

I’ve been following the texting guide but my ex keeps leaving me on ‘read’ and then replies hours later, and sometimes the next day. I know that he’s seeing my messages and that he knows that I can see he read them. Why is he doing this? Is it a bad sign? Does it mean he doesn’t want to speak to me anymore and is trying to give me a hint? I’ve made it to Day 6 so far.

Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 10:54 pm

Hi Rita,

Yes, it’s a bad sign if he doesn’t reply always. I think you should rest for a week now. What are your topics? How long did you do nc and how much did you improve? Why did you break up?

sophie

November 15, 2016 at 3:45 am

Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me about two and a half months ago. We had dated for a year and a half and the whole time he seemed so in love with me. In the months previous to the break up we hit a bit of a rough patch where outside stress effected our relationship but we both still seemed happy to be together. He broke up with me very unexpectedly only five days after I moved 3 hours away for school. Before I left he seemed like he wanted to try and make it work and even cried at the thought of me leaving. So obviously it was a shock when I got a call from him only five days later saying its over. He said the reason for breaking up was because doing long distance was too hard and he wanted to keep his options open to date other people. There was this one girl i know he was interested in. Overall however none of it made sense and I still believed he had feelings for me but just didn’t want to date. So things ended, and I successfully did no contact for about 40 days. During no contact he didn’t reach out to me at all. It was about a month ago that I reached out for the first time and he gave me a very positive response and seemed like he genuinely wanted to talk to me. Then I texted him a week later and got a similar positive response. After the second time I reached out about a week and a half went by and then he randomly reached out to me and we had a really good conversation. After that conversation things seemed to be really good, almost like old times. A few days after that good conversation also I found out that the girl he was interested in is with someone else so obviously him going after her didn’t work out. Then another week and a half has past and tonight I reached out to him again. This time however he seemed to be the complete opposite. He literally only gave one word responses and didn’t seem interested at all. Obviously now I’m very confused as to what has happened. A week and a half ago he was reaching out to me and everything seemed great but now this is the first time he’s ever seemed uninterested and harsh sense the breakup. The girl he was interested in obviously didn’t work out and I’m pretty sure theres not really anyone else he seriously considering dating. I had high hopes for this conversation because I’m returning home in a week and had slight hopes he’d want to talk while I was back so obviously I’m very confused and upset over why he suddenly doesn’t seem to want to talk to me. As far as I’m aware he doesn’t have anyone else in his life so why wouldn’t he want to talk to me anymore suddenly? And what should i do next week when I return home?

Also weirdly the girl he was interested in but who found someone else randomly texted me last night saying that she missed me. This was very random and odd considering things ended on a pretty bad note for me and her when I found out my ex was interested in her. I know this girl and my ex are still close friends so do you think theres any connection between her randomly texting me last night and him not wanting to talk to me today?

This whole breakup has been very weird and hasn’t made much sense. I want to get him back or at least become friends again. Any ideas to why he’s suddenly acting so different and what do I do now?????
Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 8:02 pm

Hi Sophie,

That’s hard to say because it’s just been one time. Maybe he’s just having a bad day. And if the other girl is the reason for him being cold to you, it doesn’t make sense that the girl would be nice to you. And if you are going to build rapport, you have to text more often, instead of just one time a week. I think right, now you can try again after 3-5 days and see how he reacts.

Leslie

November 14, 2016 at 9:49 pm

Hello !

No Contact worked. He messaged me once about two weeks in to check in, and not again.
I messaged him with a “shock and awe” on Day 1 and ended the conversation first.
Day 2 I skipped.
Day 3 I asked a question and got short responses, right up to the “How are you?” where I got a three-liner, then ended the conversation and EVEN got a smiley from him in closing.
Day 4 I started a story and he was VERY quick to respond and even asked a question. But when I gave the answer (which was funny and clever etc), he stopped responding. Around the seventh text.

Now what?
Do I wait a few days and try again with some other topic?

Leslie G

December 15, 2016 at 12:43 am

Okay first of all, Chris:

The new video “The Four Ways to Respond to Your Exes Text Messages” is like the best thing you’ve ever done (and I’ve read, watched, and listened to everything). It’s freaking hilarious. Also insightful.

Now the serious business.

My ex has not contacted me since my email response two weeks ago. I know he has a new phone line (insider information). Now I am at a crossroads– the crossroads you often talk about in these last episodes.

I am capable of giving up on my ex at this point. Not because I don’t want him anymore– he is all that I want (the rest of my life is badass). But I am weary. Every time I have new contact with him, it reopens the wound and I am distracted from my life and my job and I’m all emotional and I need to text my therapist and it’s unbearable. In many recent podcasts and interviews, you have revealed that those who give up and move on have a higher chance of their ex coming back. No problem, I can give up like a champion. I’m ready.

I am equally capable of soldiering through and continuing to follow the tactics you’ve created. Continue to build rapport until he wants to see me, which is highly possible. Our exchanges have been VERY positive and continuously advancing in a good way– until this last email went unanswered.

I have decided to take a hiatus from ALL men (him included) for six months while I work a bit on who I want to be as an individual, undistracted by romantic endeavours (rare for me). This has subsequently stopped me from waiting for him to come back tomorrow, which is great.

So the question is, which is the better tactic: Following the tactics, or giving up and moving on ?

Should I come up with an amazing and spontaneous reason to text him this week, keeping our rapport going…
or wait until he contacts me sometime on his own (and if he doesn’t, well then fudge it) ?

I believe in your insight based on statistics and math, as well as in the stories you’ve been hearing over and over again.
I would really like to know what you think my next move should be.

Thanks so much for your time,
Leslie
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2016 at 10:45 am

If he has a line, then that’s really a bad sign.. Lets give him the benefit of the doubt for another week.. If he doesnt initiate, move on. If he does, build rapport
Leslie

December 7, 2016 at 11:20 am

I’m stuck !

Recap: No contact completed (a month ago).
Messaged each other a bit for about a week, always positive and relatively timely responses. He even initiated once.
One day we messaged for 2 hours, back and forth 30 times- it went amazing. He didn’t want it to stop but I ended it.

Then he went away for a week, and when he came back he CALLED me out of the blue from his mom’s house (unknown number), saying he doesn’t have a phone line right now and asking if I was in Burgundy at the moment (I go often) because he wasn’t far. I’m guessing he wanted to see me, or else that was just an excuse to call. He told me he’d call me in a week when his phone line was back up.

During that week I sent him an email with a link to a ski thing (he loves skiing), and he responded the same day saying how much he loved it and asking how I’m doing, is my life full of work and laughs etc, and he attached a photo of he and his sister on their trip to Poland.

I responded the next day, short and sweet about my weekend and my new bar opening. I attached a recent photo of some gals and I hanging out, and asked him a similar question about how his move went, how was vacation. This was probably where I went wrong (asking questions) – I should have just ended the conversation.

And then …. nothing. It’s been a week since his last email. No call.
I don’t really want to write him again until he has answered.

Why would he be exchanging so positively one second, and then disappear the next ?
I can’t see myself finding an excuse to contact him when he left that conversation completely open-ended.
My only theory is that he thinks his own life is too unexciting to merit an entire email that only says “Yeah I’m good, vacation was cool and I’m all moved in.”

Do I just wait a while, and then find some hilarious coincidence as a reason to text him ? If so, how long do I wait ?
Or do I walk off, because cripes if the guy wanted to talk to me he’d be finding bloody ways to talk to me. N’est-ce pas?

Love some advice.

Leslie
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 10, 2016 at 8:13 pm

Well, he said he doesn’t have a phone line. What if that’s the reason? Give it two weeks, maybe when he gets home and fixes his line, he’ll contact.
Leslie

November 17, 2016 at 7:10 pm

Update:
Things are going HELLA good. He wrote me first the next day, I dropped some more successful conformity and the little ego stroke (accord). He responds immediately and even asks his own questions now. Today I pulled off the Attraction Feeler with a positive outcome. We corresponded through 30 texts over 2 hours (we have NEVER texted this much – not even when we were together).

Question:
He’s gone away for 1.5 weeks. Should I stop texting him while he’s off? I’m trying to proceed with the plan but that may seem needy as he knows that I know he’s away and we sort of did a “have a great trip!” end tot he convo.
I was thinking maybe just trying out 1-2 days of texting during this period. Does that seem sound?

I need you experts because while I am good at this, I still have girl-in-love brain.

Thanks,
Les
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 19, 2016 at 9:52 am

You dont have to stop.. I think you have a good idea of just initiating 1 or 2 times..
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 6:49 pm

That’s good.. Yeah, rest for 3 days, and then try again.

Yanna

November 13, 2016 at 9:22 pm

Hello! My name is yanna and I am in a little bit of a dilemma. So my ex and I have been broken up for about 3 months now. I didn’t contact him for 6 weeks and when I finally did I reached out saying I was sorry for acting the way I did after the breakup and I have come to terms and I would like for he and I to be friends again because he is a great person. So for this entire week I have contacted him every other day saying things that are friendly. Like telling him I went to restaurants and fun stuff. He has replied but in my last text 2 days ago, he asked questions like “it’s been over a month and now all of a sudden you want to talk to me?” “Not mad at all trust me. I am just curious. Not trying to be mean either.” So I proceeded to reiterate what I said earlier in the week about being friends and coming to terms with the breakup. So we continued talking and he ended the convo by not texting back after a few more minutes of talking and I texting him again today saying I weny to the movies and saw a terrible movie that he should avoid seeing. He never replied. So is it too late? Or is he just confused and doesn’t know how to reply to my messages anymore?

My plan is to go the next week without reaching out to him and then after about 7-9 days I will ask him on a casual date. Nothing longer than an hour and I will treat the date as one with just a friend because that is what it will be.

Is him ignoring me a sign that he is annoyed of me? Does he just not want to be bothered? Should I give up? Is it too late? Has he found someone else?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 5:12 pm

Hi Yanna,

I think you started in the wrong. It’s like trying hard to be friends with him, it doesn’t look natural. It just looks like you want him back. And now, he’s probably avoiding you because he doesn’t want that. And asking for a date, when there’s no rapport, just confirms that. Yeah, you could try a mini nc. Try doing two weeks, and then start over in texting and take it slow. Check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

LounaS

November 13, 2016 at 1:26 pm

Hi, my ex who broke up with me because he said he didn’t want a LDR but started message me 18 days into NC. He sent three messages a few hours apart as I wasn’t responding. They were nice messages and he said he hadn’t meant to be disrespectful to me. The next day I replied saying that I was very well and hoped he was too. The following week he sent me another message asking how was my vacation as he must have remembered that I was travelling that week. Again I replied saying that I had a lovely time…just trying to keep my responses simple and positive. He then asked if he could see me soon, I said I would love to catch up and that he should let me know if he had any plans to come to my city soon. We continued to text a little but still the conversation was light and friendly. That was 5 days ago and yesterday I sent him a pic of a movie I was watching with a little comment as we had seen it together before, he read the message but didn’t respond. What’s going on with him? Has he changed his mind about meeting up? What do I do now?
Jody

November 12, 2016 at 2:24 pm

How many days should wait before texting again if your ex ignores you?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 1:24 am

Hi Jofy,

when did he start ignoring you? When and why did you break up?

LuLu

November 12, 2016 at 1:20 pm

Hi, my ex who broke up with me because he said he didn’t want a LDR but started message me 18 days into NC. He sent three messages a few hours apart as I wasn’t responding. They were nice messages and he said he hadn’t meant to be disrespectful to me. The next day I replied saying that I was very well and hoped he was too. The following week he sent me another message asking how was my vacation as he must have remembered that I was travelling that week. Again I replied saying that I had a lovely time…just trying to keep my responses simple and positive. He then asked if he could see me soon, I said I would love to catch up and that he should let me know if he had any plans to come to my city soon. We continued to text a little but still the conversation was light and friendly. That was 5 days ago and yesterday I sent him a pic of a movie I was watching with a little comment as we had seen it together before, he read the message but didn’t respond. What’s going on with him? Has he changed his mind about meeting up? What do I do now?

LuLu

November 12, 2016 at 1:22 pm

By the way yesterday when I contacted him would have been the end of 30 days NC period. I know I responded to him after less than 3 weeks but as he had sent positive messages I felt it was only polite to reply.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 1:21 am

Hi Lulu,

Actually you broke it at day 19. One of the reasons why it’s better not to reply to those kind of texts, the how are you, what are you doing, where are you, is because you’re validating him. It’s like you’re saying, yeah I’m still here. I’ll reply whenever you want me to. And with that you’re also helping him to slowly move on because it’s like you’re letting him get used to not talking to you slowly.

You need to restart the 30 day count and focus in improving yourself. Dont reply unless it’s an emergency or he says he wants to get back with you. And now, he’s ignoring you. If you ignore him, more likely he’s going to think back and think it’s because he ignored you.. which is good because he has to think, you’ve had enough and you’re not his doormat.

Hola

November 9, 2016 at 2:45 am

Her i mg My last relationship ended about a month ago (we had been together for a year and a month +). Well. The beginning was great (as with all beginnings), we were really happy and all. It wasn’t easy though, it was my first semester in university and there were many things I really wanted to try and juggle with. Despite that, I gave my best effort of completing my assignments before the weekends, since I knew that quality time could give him some form of assurance since he was in the army, and it was the best way I could express my love and commitment. There were little tiffs and taffs here and there, about the issue of texting too often and other things as well, because I thought texting too often would eventually cause misunderstanding and ruin the relationship. Nevertheless, this whole issue of time and texting just went ahead, for it seemed pretty worth it then, if it could make this bond stronger.
I guess for me, I entered this whole thing without too many expectations. I told myself that I wouldn’t unreasonably demand for time, and needless to say, I would not ask for 24/7 attention and gifts. However, things changed drastically when he went for his third overseas trip. Having freed myself from many school commitments during the second semester to spend time with him, I felt abandoned primarily because he stopped calling (usually once a week) like how we used to, before he went for his trip. (simple things like that mattered to me then because I was too steeped in this whole thang damn son) Things got worse when he decided to take up a highly demanding part-time job and everything just kinda spiraled downwards. At the this point in time, I turned from someone who did not expect much, to one who hoped for him to free up more of his time. Simply because this change was too drastic and simply because it was too drastic, I felt that he was prioritizing all these things above this relationship all of a sudden. It was hard to adapt and I must admit that I did not communicate my needs well. I did, but always doing so while attempting to sound strong and preserve my pride and dignity (which made me sound really cold and sad) On the other hand, he probably didn’t understand that I just wanted to create memories with him during the summer break (because we had planned to do a lot of things together during the holidays, and that kinda set up the expectation because promises are not exactly meant to be broken, right?)

Well. After that came the next phase of my previous partner’s life. Him going for more trips overseas with his family and him going for multiple camps to have fun and know new people from his school. In other words, I had already counted that from June onwards (during which our relationship was already rocky and unsteady), that there wouldn’t be much time left to resolve things properly and piece the broken relationship together before the term begins. We are not asking to fork out 7 days of each week, only perhaps once during the mid week and once at the end of the week just for a few hours, which is perfectly reasonable for the holidays.. I guess? During this period of time, I suffered sleepless nights and the ultimate torture of this passive action called waiting. Waiting for him to be finally free so that we could make up for lost time spent quarreling and crying during the first half of the hols. And so, I spent the time working my ass off to distract myself from all the waiting. Me being stubborn and prideful then, was cold to him in the midst of my suffering (over text) since we didn’t have many chances to clear things up face to face anyways. I turned him down when he asked me out at times (rarely) giving the excuse that I had something on. I knew he was trying hard over text to express how much he loved me. He was suffering but on my part, I could not see past my suffering as well, feeling insecure about being unimportant, and uncertain if the same thing would occur when his school started in Aug. I knew that spending the right amount of time together during the holidays would be the only remedy to whatever that has happened. But he couldn’t fork out his time. As such, I suggested breaking up a few times during our discussion but I realised that it was really hard to let go of this love. This really damaged the relationship. Yet after every time something was resolved, discussed and after we agreed to take action to make things work, he would go away again (for camps/ overseas) and so in the end, nothing was ever solved in the long term and things just snowballed into a massive shitball.
Eventually this shitball rolled over to the the start of the school term, which started out pretty well. We tried. But we were in different schools and he had many many many activities signed up when school started. But I waited and I swear on my balls I tried. Yet whenever I asked for a simple dinner or a study session in his school during the week, and he turned me down at times because of some things I deemed as unimportant, (by unimportant I do not mean lessons, family dates and important activities) I am instantly reminded of the days I felt this way at the start of the summer break. As much as I would have liked to forget, this disappointment kept coming back again and again and it would sweep over our relationship, eroding it even further. Again, my bitterness blinded me from understanding that he was going through a transition period in his new school. This came to a point where I called for a break. To really calm down and try to erase my impression of this dirty, dirty history for the sake of love. During this 1-2 week break, I was ready to put down the hurts and really work with him to make things work (woah, finally). Unfortunately, at the end of the week I had to accidentally open a snap he posted featuring him and a handful of female classmates singing K as if they were really high and all. Don’t get me wrong, I am tots fine with him hanging out with female friends. BUT. Really it was just seen at a way too sensitive timing. (If I never opened that snap things wouldn’t have ended so soon but it is fate) While I was seriously considering taking serious action to salvage my relationship, the images that appeared right before my eyes triggered a kind of … jealously and indignant feelings. I understand that he was Karaoke-ing because he felt terrible as well but I guess the snap appeared at a too sensitive point in time. Plus, to reiterate, our relationship was already in shambles and that surely didn’t improve things.Here comes the exciting part. The next day, I got drunk. Really drunk. At that point in time, I really missed him because of the conflicts that we were having. Basically it really sucks to see your relationship start out so wonderfully and turning into a piece of shit after one year. I sobbed. I cried and I cried. I didn’t know what to do and he didn’t know what to do either. Here comes the best part. I did what I had never done before. I asked him to reveal to me his whatsapp history out of curiosity because I was already fucking insecure at that point in time. I saw chats with his female friends in university (whom he barely knew for 2 months) and him telling them the details of our conflict and the last thing I remembered was both of his female friends telling him to move on and how bad of a girlfriend I was. Did they even know the history of this relationship? I doubt so. But now as I am recounting this I no longer have the intention to find out because I find it rather ridiculous, because every single one of my trusted friends would have analysed and broke down for me my relationship instead of immediately persuading me to let it go. Well, he even asked her if he could call her that morning (because he was really upset), which really hurt me because who would feel good right? That your boyfriend would rather call someone else rather than his girlfriend to clear things up. I found the whole thing really odd and as much as I don’t think he is fooling around out there, my insecurity really rose through the roof. He snatched his phone back because he said I was too aggressive. I told him that if he didn’t show me the rest of the chat, I would break up with him. Not because I believed he was cheating, but because trust IS the ultimate foundation of a lasting relationship. And so in my drunken stupor, we broke up because he didn’t agree to show me his history in the end. (I guess the texts were more important than me) Obviously, it was wrong of me to get drunk in the first place. And to get aggressive. But trust me anybody in my shoes would have felt the same I can promise you that.
Next day, I sent an apology text (I didn’t sleep a wink) and he told me that he needed a one week break and that he still really loved. Fantastic. So I waited. That week I lost my appetite and my mind was in a constant state of torment (the insecurities kept lingering) and I stopped concentrating in class. (I love what i study so much ) After the week we resumed our relationship and agreed to start over but I could feel that things were not the same anymore. This time, I tried even harder to understand the troubles he was facing in school. Yet whenever I attempted to come clean about my insecurities, he would get angry, stressed and frustrated. Well. So I confronted him about it and he actually told me that, he couldn’t get over the damage I had done during the holidays and the drinking episode. I was really at a loss because as much as I was trying to focus on my school work, this issue was really affecting me tremendously. And this dilemma made me really impatient to see results. And he told me he would see if the relationship was going to work. I was really afraid when he told me that because it would mean that I had to go back to the cycle of waiting, waiting and waiting all over again like 5 months ago. Mamamia. I waited. Several times he went online but did not reply my texts because he was busya lthough we do text everyday. The next week was his recess week, but not once did we meet because once again, he had hall activities and mid terms preparation. A simple lunch or a simple study session would have sufficed to be honest but none of that happened. The next week (I think), I was feeling so impatient about meeting him because I felt us drifting apart (I kept it in my heart), and was afraid that those friends around him would persuade him to let go of the relationship (afterall, he was spending most of his time in school with them) that I went psychotic at home, and I stopped replying his messages frequently and my sadness came across as coldness. The day before his paper, he asked me why I was like that (finally) and I told him with too much pride that I was already getting over his inaction, which was totally not true. I told him my feelings were fading when in fact I was suffering real bad from paralysis…… from all that painful waiting. I felt crippled. Helpless and desperate. Yet I couldn’t let all these affect my grades right? I told him to make a decision. He flared. Till that day, he still thinks that I asked him to blame himself when in fact, I was merely pardoning him to not blame me for expressing my feelings. Furthermore, his inability to move past the series of unfortunate events was really making go nuts, it was understandable but this in turn affected my mode of communication with him and his emotional well-being so it’s not really my fault I guess. I wasn’t blaming anybody. So, I told him to make a decision because it was getting too torturous. Bear in mind that at this point in time, I still loved him as much as I did from day one and I was willing to do whatever I could to salvage the relationship – even if it meant greater torture – As long as there was some form of certainty, but I couldn’t get that.I waited all morning the next day. At about 12 noon, he made his decision and ended it on text. He said that he could not move beyond the emotional damage I had caused him during the holidays and that he was tired from all that trying. It took me a while for me to accept it ( I was utterly devastated for 2 weeks) and i begged him to start over 3 times after the breal up. He didnt want to. He said it was unhealthy and it wasnt working out. At first, the waves of regret came to me every morning and sometimes, throughout the day. Other times, I was angry. Angry that even after all that missing him and looking forward to spend time with him, it ended eventually – on text :’( which meant that this relationship wasn’t that important to him. But as time passed, I came to realise that regardless of what would/ would not have happened, things might eventually come to a close at the end. Simply because I could not communicate nicely at times, and because of my temper, my words were hurtful and statements rash. Simply because he did not know what to do. Simply because of this inability to communicate and reassure that made things difficult to handle. And also, because we viewed this relationship with different lenses and different degrees of importance. Simply because our priorities and expectations were misaligned.

I would just like to ask, what would your advice be? 🙂
I guess it is safe to say that I have gotten out.of the depressed state, but I still catch myself feeling angry. Or sometimes wondering if he still cares for me, or if he wil ever miss me after all we had. Afterall, he was my first and i truly gave him as much as I could.

Hola

November 9, 2016 at 2:51 am

I sent a final text apologising for my begging and telling him i appreciated whatever we had and hope that the good memories would last. He replied telling me the same, and that he still really loved me just that he got tired of trying.

About 3 weeks after the break up, he texted me to wish me happy birthday and said he hoped that I would pick myself up again. I told him he made a right decision about the break up because I was feeling happier. (This isnt really true but I didnt want him to think like I was weak.) That was the last time we conversed.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2016 at 12:32 pm

Hi Hola,

Start the count of the no contact after this. It’s good that you already started improving. Focus in that now, heal and improve.. I think you should do either 30 or 45 days.

Mariana

November 6, 2016 at 6:50 pm

Hi, i broke up almost a month ago with my two year boyfriend. It was a really difficult decision as we loved each other in a way no one can imagine, but he was a heavy drinker and I coul not stand that anymore. Sometimes he was rude when he drank, maybe because, I was always telling him to control the amount of alcohol. His standard was 18 gin and tonics in a night. Lots of things happened, his mother called me and told me that she felt as a terrible mother, because she knew how much his son loved me, but that I have to take action and that the only way to help him overcome his drinking problem was setting aside, that perhaps if he lost me he would do something about his addiction. That call was awful for me, because he was such a nice boy with me, but his mother was right, I was suffering with the alcohol abuse. I´ve never drink and i didn’t pretend he behaved in such a way, the only thing I asked for 4 weathering months was control, “take 10 gins instead of 18”, but that didnt work out, because he start controlling himself while I was with him, because he didnt want to see me pissed off, but the moment he left me home or the day I couldnt go out he drank in an abusive way. He was not a cheater, and he didnt do that on purpose, I know that, but he was a complete alcoholic. Seeing the person you love wasting his life its a really harsh situation, I could not be careless about it and he wasn’t going to change.. that´s the reason we broke up, he never understood the problem was his and not mine. It has been almost a month and I haven’t speak a word with him, I´ve been pretty sad and laid down, i missed him, i still love him, I feel sorry about his situation and sometimes, I feel guilty for breaking up with him because as the girlfriend he loved, I was he’s down to earth. While we were together he was the anti- social media guy, he barely used Facebook… nowadays he does not stop posting pictures (and also uses instagram and snapchat). What is breaking my heart is that he seems trashy in the pictures, I can see, and
I´ve known, that since we broke up he has been drinking almost every day, Why he post stories drinking or with other girls? I know he loves me and he knows how much I love him and how much I care… Sometimes I tend to think he hasn’t call or text because he know I´m right, and besides, because for him drinking is not a problem. Perhaps he´s drinking what ever he wants without feeling bad about himself since we broke up, and thats the reason he doesn’t miss me. We broke up in a mature way I told him that I loved him but that couldnt handle the situation anymore, he told me that he was going to change but I didnt believe him this time, I´ve heard that promise a million times before. He was really sad, and we both cried, but I can not understand why he doesnt care, and beyond that why he keeps posting pictures with other girls in social media he even didnt know how to use. Do you think he’s ever going to text again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 4:44 pm

Hi Maria,

he might text again, maybe he’s even being active in social media to get your attention but you have to remind yourself of what your standards really are. It’s his choice to drink more.. It’s not because you left him, because even if you stayed he would still keep drinking..

Maria

November 6, 2016 at 6:01 pm

Hi, your article helped me a lot. I broke up with my two year boyfriend almost a month ago, and i haven´t heard a word from him. I broke up because he was a heavy (really) heavy drinker, and i couldnt handle that situation anymore. Sometimes I feel guilty for letting him on his own, during our relationship i was his down to earth. He never had a girlfriend he loved before, and he was beyond loyal and faithful with me. He was really sweet and special, but I started feeling consumed by his bad habit. I haven´t text him since we broke up because i know the situation isn’t going to change, and even dough i´ve missed him, I go out on a friday night and I don´t have to play the mother role, I come home and i don’t have to worry if he arrived safe to his house, and i´ve been feeling peaceful. It was a really harsh decision for me, we were the definition of love together, but seeing him drunk every time we saw each other became a nightmare for me, I stop enjoying going out and that was mainly because I was worried about him. He´s a pilot and with the way he drinks he´s going to end up his career. The thing, is that i don´t understand why he hasn’t call or say something, he was the creepy guy how hated social media, and since we broke up he post almost every day in snapchat, instagram and Facebook. Obviously, those pictures of him drinking and partying, remind me that i´ve taken the right decision for me. But, regarding that, I don´t get, I can´t explain with words the way he loved me, and perhaps losing me would have some effect in the way he drinks , because before breaking up I tried, for almost 6 months, every possible way to help him to overcome his addiction …. A month has passed, and I don’t know anything about his life, the only thing that has come by my ears is that he hasn’t stop drinking… When is he going to text?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 4:44 pm

Hi Maria,

he might text again, maybe he’s even being active in social media to get your attention but you have to remind yourself of what your standards really are. It’s his choice to drink more.. It’s not because you left him, because even if you stayed he would still keep drinking..

Jane

October 26, 2016 at 4:52 am

Hello, it has been a week for breakup with my boyfriend. i really want him back. i love him. he says our lifestyle is different. he does not even reply my messages. he says he wants to be alone. what can i do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 27, 2016 at 7:43 pm

Hi Jane,

why did you break up? How old were you both? And how long was the relationship?

Grace

October 26, 2016 at 1:00 am

Hi, so my boyfriend and I dated for about a year and a month ago he broke up with me. It was more of a blindsided break up, nothing had really gone wrong. I think that I definitely needed some space from the relationship and so did he. Since we broke up he has been obviously avoiding me and I even asked him about it and he said he was because it “just hurt too much”. It’s been some time since that conversation and he’s still avoiding me and I’m trying out NC right now. I didn’t do anything horrible to him so I don’t really know why he’s doing this. To me it seems like he’s just confused and needed space. What is your opinion and what do you think I should do to get him back??

Grace

October 27, 2016 at 11:22 pm

I think we both needed space because I was having problems of my own and I didn’t realize how stressed I was and I was taking a lot of it out on him and our relationship he was super busy at the time. The relationship was becoming too stressful and I think we needed a break to just recollect and go back into it fresh but I think he just saw that we needed to break up.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 27, 2016 at 7:10 pm

Hi Grace,

be active in improving yourself and having your own routine during and after no contact.. You said both you needed space from the relationship too, why?

Rose

October 25, 2016 at 9:55 am

Hej i broke up with My ex because he just to often flirt with different woman on his fb. When i take that with him he Said IT just nothing , even some of them he nerver met and he Said he didnt want to listen and argue with me and he even Said IF i Dont like i can go. That was really make me sad and Angry so i Said i want to break up with him.
But afterall i regret and try to contack him and so on so on … Untill i Wasa so desperate he didnt respons to me att all and i search from internet . That why i found NC rulls. I did NC in a month now . And today i misses My ex and wrote to him that om already accept that we are not together Anymore .. He wrote me back ” Thats good … Hugs ” . I knew he already dating with few woman i Guess.. I actually still sad but somehow i accept IT is better we are not together . I still hope IF he can chance his behavior and we can be together again, but i cannot positive about that. I fell the more days i m gone the more likely his behavior is geting worse for me. Like he dates different woman, flirt diferent woman on fb , he bougt brand new car , party Every weekend and so on. I didnt even see all those behavior before he date me. I do still Love him and i Dont know why i still believe that he is still Love me. What can i do about all My situation ? I would like we can be together again , but not in the same page like before we had .

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 3:22 pm

Hi Rose,
You can’t force somebody to change. That’s why you need to have your standards and you need to remind yourself what those standards are.. That’s good that you did the no contact rule, but did you improve yourself? His actions are actually not getting worse, he’s just living the single life and it’s ok for him to do that, because he’s single..

Confidential

October 25, 2016 at 6:05 am

i dont get email you respong to my comments ? do we get a email if you respond to our comments? Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 3:07 pm

Hi Confidential,

Sorry, there’s no email notification if we respond to your comments.

Anya

October 23, 2016 at 8:17 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend is being married forcefully by his dying father.. He tried talking to him about us but thag worsened his father’s condition even more… His marriage is fixed..
He cries a lot and loves me but we can not do anything..
Please help me how to get him
Back??

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 25, 2016 at 1:29 pm

Hi Anya,

if he really loves you, then he would help find a way.. he has to be strong in declining his father..crying will not do anything better.he has to be aware that his father is tied to traditions and he’s father’s actions are based on that.. his sickness will get worse if he’s taking good care of himself..not because his son will not get married

lake

October 21, 2016 at 1:05 pm

your advice last time works for me thank you so much <3

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 11:05 am

honestly for me, you have to let him go.. It’s like he’s just stringing you along, he keeps you wanting more because it makes him feel good

jheana

October 19, 2016 at 3:31 am

My boyfriend broke up with me almost a week ago that day I got a call that my book was going to be overdo and I left my book with him so I kindly wrote him to .ask if he can take my book to the library for me I was being very nice he said yes and then I stopped texting him for a couple of days then I ended up making sure he actually took my book and I called the library they said yes so Ifelt like that was an aaction showing me he cared. But then after he told me I don’t need to save his number because I. Won’t be needing it anymore I gave him what he wanted and said ok. But then some lady had wrote me on Facebook telling me he’s trying to speak with her and I wrote him saying basically tell your girls to keep you thus businesses to yourself and he just sent me an ok emojii plus today i sent him a good bye text and then blocked his number because I was scared he was going to say something negative and plus he wants me out of his “life” so I’m going to give him exactly what he wants.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 10:12 pm

Hi Jheana,

how long were you together? Do you want to try the no contact rule?

rebecca

October 19, 2016 at 1:44 am

Hi there, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me 2 months ago. We talked a little afterward and fought aswell, i think he was fighting himself a lot of the time because he would say he doesnt know whether he made the right desicion and even tried to stop me from talking to any other boys (friends)? Were both 18 and at our last year of school, although for the last 2 weeks (after the holidays) he hasnt spoken to me at all and tries not to look at me in class! He posts online how hes having fun but all our friends tell me he is really down? In class sometimes i catch him looking at me and he is really quiet and looks like he is secluding himself? What do i do to get him not to ignore me? Im not sure if he wants me back after 2 months ! Its also the end of school soon and im worried i will never see him again! Thankyou so much

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 10:04 pm

Hi Rebecca,

Why did he break up with you? Is it because you’re both going away to college?

Eugene

October 17, 2016 at 11:30 am

My ex is married with 2 sons.

I am married with 3 sons. Our spouses not releasing us. We both want love and want to be together. We met again after 24 years. Please advice.

Eugene

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 18, 2016 at 4:27 pm

Hi Eugene,

what did you mean that your spouses are not releasing you? You cant control him but on your side, if you’re not really happy with your marriage, with or without your ex reappearing again, you should divorce your husband..

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