Using Male Psychology To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back- The Complete Guide

508 thoughts on “Using Male Psychology To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

angel

April 11, 2014 at 4:48 am

chris i hav already promised n0t to call or message him or i wont disturb him in any ways. Wil no contact make him miss me thn??
April

April 11, 2014 at 4:20 am

Hi there!
I could really use some help with the situation I’m in. (Sorry this is so long!!)

Basically, me and my ex were together on and off for about 3 years. He got back from deployment in January (had been away since July). When he was first deployed, he broke up with me saying that he felt bad making me wait. It turns out that it was also because he was under a lot of stress. He was cold towards me during the break up, told me to hook up with other people,etc. I figured that he really didn’t care about me or love me so I did my best to move forward and accept it that he didn’t love me. I got involved with another guy, we only flirted and did some PG cuddling. It never got sexual or physical beyond that. Eventually, my ex and I started talking again. He asked me to be exclusive, I told him that I would either be 100% in a relationship or 100% out. So then he said “we can be in a relationship then.” We had this conversation over FB messaging so there was some miscommunication because I didn’t respond to him saying that. Because I wasn’t sure if I was ready to re-commit to someone who had hurt me so much so I left it at that and contemplated how I wanted to explain to him that I was scared. But before I could do that, someone who hadn’t been aware of our break up messaged him and told him that I was involved with another guy. My ex took this as cheating and didn’t believe me when I said that I hadn’t thought we were in a relationship at the time. He ended up opening up to me and explaining how hard it was for him to break up and how much he loved me. We got back together and I thought we’d moved past the situation. So fast-forward a few months, he came home from deployment. Of course it was great seeing him again and I know he was relieved and everything to be home. But after a while, he started drinking everyday and started doing marijuana. I got many drunk calls. Often times, when he would call me drunk he’d break up with me over nothing. We always joke around about how sensitive he gets when he’s drunk. But these times, he would break up with me. He never actually meant it and the next day or even later on that night, we’d be fine. But still, it was stressful. So one night he called me drunk and told me that someone had told him that I was cheating on him and sleeping around with “a new guy every week” (not actually true) and he broke up with me. The next day, we talked again, he was sober (well, he’d only had a couple beers) and he basically said that everything he’d said the night before still stands and said that we were on different life paths, etc. I was hysterical and upset.

A little background for you – I’m a senior in college (graduating in May) and my ex will be starting college in the fall across the country. We had always been in a long distance relationship (about 5.5 hours apart). I’m willing to move to be with him though I’m not sure if he believes that but I am.

Anyway, so after a short time (maybe a week or more) we got back together and decided to be in an “open relationship” for a few months. Our agreement was that if either of us got involved with someone else, we had to tell each other. I thought maybe it would build trust because he’d see that I still wasn’t getting involved with someone else. He was still drinking a lot at this point. I visited him during this time for a weekend. He took back the diamond necklace he’d given him a couple years ago. We also had a couple arguments about the relationship. He was basically saying that he wanted to be alone during college and maybe in the future we could be together.

So a short time after I had gotten back home, he broke up with me again. He said that he didn’t love me romantically anymore. He said he only loves me like a friend. Once again, I was really upset. He told me to stop being clingy and give him space so I did. Then everyday for a few days after that he called me twice a day or so. The first time he called, he was on the way to get lunch and told me that he’d just driven past a pub we’d been to together. Anyway, at that point I had the mindset of “I’ll let him contact me and not contact him first.” We had some days of not talking but he kept reaching out to me, eventually it changed into mostly texting/messaging.

He texted me one day, which was also the beginning of my Spring Break and when he found that out, he suggested that I come up and visit and have some drinks with him and his sister. ( I was surprised by this because when he broke up with me, he told me that he didn’t want to see me “anytime soon” and maybe we’d see each other in July). That was on a Saturday and I had a job interview Monday so I suggested I come up later that week or that weekend but he didn’t respond. I think he said something about there being bad winter weather on that Tuesday, which was true but I could have easily gone up the next weekend.

(Near the very end of our relationship, he got sober and started working out again and eating healthy. Also oddly enough, near the very end of the relationship he told me that he never wanted to have sex again, like ever with anyone. Another weird thing is that the day before he broke up with me, he was asking when my graduation was, as if he was checking his calendar to see if he could come).

Anyway, one night he messaged me about a game he was watching on TV, but I didn’t answer. Then an hour later he messaged me again. Then the next afternoon he messaged me saying “you alive.” Then he texted me that night asking me if I was alive again. I answered thinking that he’d contact my parents if he really thought something was wrong with me. He asked me if everything okay and I said it was.
Then this past Thursday he messaged me, I answered later on that night saying that I’d been busy, etc. Then Friday he called me but I didn’t have my phone on me and missed it and he texted me saying that he was napping and not to call back. So I FB’d him saying that my phone wasn’t on me and that I’d be available later. Then Saturday night he called me and we talked for a long while. He said he was thinking about visiting me (which is interesting because near the end of our relationship he’d told me that he didn’t want to put miles on his car). He texted me Sunday afternoon telling me that he was eating lunch and “glad that I hadn’t frozen to death” the night before because I’d told him how cold I was. We texted on and off the rest of the day. He called me Sunday night and again, brought up visiting me. He told me during both phone calls that he was horny. He mentioned maybe being “friends with benefits.”

So today (Thursday) I hadn’t heard from him since that Sunday phone call. I messaged him asking if he was still thinking about visiting. I actually called him first but he was busy. So then I texted him. He told me that he wasn’t and said sorry. I asked him why and he said “Well I don’t think it’s very fair since we aren’t going to really have a future so I don’t want you to misunderstand and think that if I visited.” I’m disappointed that he’s not coming but I appreciate that he doesn’t want to take advantage of me.

I’m pretty confused. It seems like he still wants to talk to me since he contacts me. I’m not sure if he only wanted to visit me for sex or if he really wanted to see me. I don’t understand why he’d drive 5.5 hours if it was just for sex. But maybe so. It’s like, after 2 days of good phone conversations and texting, he pulled away and distanced himself and I don’t understand it.

I don’t know what to do in this situation anymore. I really love him and want to be with him. Would the NC rule be appropriate for this type of situation? I feel bad ignoring anyone but if it could ultimately be the best thing for both of us then maybe it’s okay.

I think that I’m too close and too emotionally involved to really look at this situation logically. And I don’t know if I’m misinterpreting his behavior to mean more or less than it actually does.

Thank you so, so much for reading all of this. I sincerely appreciate your patience and all the time you put into the website. Any advice you have would be awesome.

P.S. Props for the Walking Dead meme!

admin

April 12, 2014 at 3:42 pm

Thanks!

Every once in a while I put a little bit of my nerdy self into posts and the Walking Dead is a nerdy obsession of mine.

Did you give him sex when drove all the way out for you?
April

April 12, 2014 at 8:55 pm

You’re welcome! The Walking Dead is a great show!! And thanks so much for responding.

He didn’t end up visiting at all. After he told me about how he was afraid of being “tempted,” I said that that shouldn’t be problem if we both went into it with the understanding that it would just be a platonic visit, etc. Then he answered by saying that he is exclusively dating a girl now as of Thursday and that he doesn’t think she would “appreciate it” if he came and visited me. He said that they’d been talking for a few weeks and just became official on Thursday and also slept together. We ended up talking on the phone and at first he wouldn’t tell me who it was, then he finally showed me a picture of her and I recognized her as one of his friend’s sisters. He refused to give me a lot details. It was kind of weird. I asked him what she looked like before he sent me the pic and he described her as looking like “Gwyneth Paltrow and the hulk.” I was like…wait, what? I asked how they started dating and he said that she and her brother came over to his house and that she was “like a fly.” He told me that she’s bisexual and asked me if I would have a threesome with them. It was hard to tell if he was joking or not. I said no and he was like “tell me if you change your mind.” I’m skeptical if it’s even a real thing or if he’s lying. He called me later that night (last night) and told me not to tell anyone what he had told me. Then we talked for a while and then he went to bed. In the first phone call, he made comments such as “I bet you’re going to spend tonight watching the Notebook and eating ice cream and getting drunk.” Which was not at all true. It’s all just strange to me. I told him that I was happy for him and that I hope things worked out well for them. He even told me that it’s “not a serious thing” since he’s moving in late summer/fall.

Also, I’m still in his profile picture on FB. He doesn’t really update his profile a lot but it still seems a little weird to me. And their relationship isn’t on FB.

If he is lying about it, then I don’t know why he would, like what’s the point of that?

And if it is real, then he moved on really fast and this just seems really odd.
admin

April 13, 2014 at 4:41 pm

Wow that is really weird…

Serisly very interesting with the profile picture. Does he log on to Facebook very often?
April

April 13, 2014 at 10:58 pm

He’s on FB all the time. He rarely posts or comments on anything that I’ve seen, which is normal for him. But I can see that he’s on all the time.

What do you think I should do?
admin

April 14, 2014 at 5:28 pm

Keep being active on Facebook. It might be enough to make him miss you if he sees your having a great time.
April

April 19, 2014 at 4:22 pm

Hi Chris,

I have a few follow-up questions. I’ve been in NC for 8 days now. On Tuesday night, my ex texted me saying “why aren’t you asleep?” Then on Thursday he texted me saying “you ok?” Then he called me and texted again saying “I thought you still wanted to be friends?”

I’m afraid that if I keep doing NC, he won’t talk to me or want to be friends with me after. I’m having second-thoughts about whether or not this is the right thing to do. I don’t want to lose his friendship too. Do you think I’m doing the right thing?

Also, I’m worried that if he still believes that I cheated on him, that that will effect us possibly getting back together. Even if we’re just friends in the future, I don’t want him to believe I cheated or slept around. Do you think there’s anything I can do to convince him I didn’t cheat or should I just leave that aspect alone? I think that maybe when we start talking again, maybe he would start to trust me again and believe me but idk, I worry about it.
April

April 19, 2014 at 4:26 pm

Oops, accidentally posted twice. Sorry, Chris! Thought the first one didn’t go through because it wasn’t showing up. Lol my bad!
admin

April 20, 2014 at 3:45 am

No problem! I was having some issues with the comments yesterday so its not your fault. Its really mine.
April

June 6, 2014 at 5:40 pm

Hey Chris! Well you were SO right. Once I stopped pursuing my ex and moved on with other people, he now wants me back and he’s the one apologizing. But now I’m happier not being in that relationship with him. I’ve realized that I deserve better. Thank you for your guides and this site! You really made a difference for me. I never thought I’d be able to move on and I have.

I’ve actually gone on a few dates now with a guy I really like! I know this doesn’t exactly apply to Exboyfriend Recovery but since it’s dealing with the male brain, I was hoping you could give me some advice/insight on this situation. So this guy and I have gone on 4 dates now. After the 2nd date he texted me saying that he thought I was uncomfortable with him and so I was boring as a consequence and said that he was going to move on. I explained to him that I’m just a shy person and we talked and made plans for date 3. So a short time after that we went on date 3. It went really well. We had sex. Inbetween our dates, we would text all throughout the day. He told him that he’s a relationship type of person, we discussed our past relationships, we even talked about how we both want kids in the future, we called each other petnames like “babe” and “sweetie.” He told me how he really tries not to be like other guys and really tries to be a kind person, etc. He came across as very mature. We both hadn’t slept with anyone in a few months. On our 4th date, I slept over at his house. He told me that he really liked me and I told him I felt the same. He was very affectionate and sweet. After I left the next morning, I texted him thanking him for cooking for me and he responded saying “you’re welcome” and apologized saying that he thought I didn’t enjoy myself. I told him that I really did enjoy myself. I guess the problem is that I’m an introverted person so often I’m not very expressive. And especially around him, I get nervous because I really like him. Ever since then, he’s been very distant. I’ve been texting him trying to spark a conversation but he’s slow in responding, if at all.

I don’t know what to do! I really like this guy but I feel like he’s lost interest. I’m feeling emotional about this situation and am not sure what the smartest way to handle it is. What should I do?

You’re the best person I can think of to ask for advice!

Thank you!
admin

June 7, 2014 at 4:41 pm

I think you should definitely give this new guy a shot.

I honestly think you being too shy might be hurting you. Just be a little more expressive. Did the two of you kiss?
April

May 13, 2014 at 8:26 pm

Yeah, I’m thinking maybe it’s because his dad passed a away when he was younger so maybe talking about my mom and dad so close to a holiday like that wasn’t a good idea.

I’ll do that! Thank you!
April

May 12, 2014 at 11:42 pm

Alright so I’ve been trying to work on priming and building up a good rapport with my ex before moving forward with the memory texts and emotional texts and whatnot.

So I texted him Monday the 5th, he didn’t answer but he called me the next day saying that he’d been asleep when I texted and we talked for a bit.

I texted him after making a joke in reference to something we’d talked about on the phone. We had a short back and forth. Then I didn’t respond to his last text.

I texted again a few hours later telling him how I’d seen a white version of his car (he loves his car so I thought he’d be engaged with that text). He didn’t respond until an entire day later. It was a positive response though.

I decided to leave him alone for a while since it seemed like my priming wasn’t going so well in getting his attention. So he called me Saturday the 10th (at first I missed his call, he then texted saying “Hihihi” and I called him back about 5 minutes later). He then called me about 5 hours later or so, but I was busy out with friends so I told him I’d call him later. I called him back about 3 hours later. He didn’t answer, he texted saying he was shaving, and called me back a few minutes later.

After we got off the phone, I found a funny article and sent him the link but he didn’t respond.

So today (Monday the 12th) I texted him saying “Guess what my dad got my mom for Mother’s Day.” He texted almost immediately and said “Nothing.” Then I said “Lol no, a tape gun.” Then I made a joke about it and asked him what he got for his mom. I really thought that would be engaging for him but he still hasn’t responded.

I know I need to be better about ending the phone conversations first, so I’m definitely going to work on that.

It’s like when I don’t give him any attention he calls me but when I do give him attention, he couldn’t care less. It’s also weird that he’ll almost always respond immediately to my texts then often just not reply.

Should I do NC again for a week then try again? Or what should I do?

Thank you, Chris. 🙂
admin

May 13, 2014 at 4:52 pm

Hmm… well at least you know that talking about your parents to him isnt the best idea right now.

Wait a couple of days and try again.
April

May 6, 2014 at 1:45 am

So update: I did NC for 21 days because it seemed like it was clearly working fast with him. So I called my ex on Saturday. (We’ve always communicated really well over the phone so I thought it would be more appropriate for our situation than starting out with a text). We ended up talking for a reaaally long time. I know, I should have kept it shorter. We ended up being up till 4:00AM on the phone. He was drinking for part of the time so he was a bit drunk but I could tell he wasn’t wasted or belligerent. He ended up telling me he loved me multiple times. Sometimes it was like “I love you, you’re my best friend” and other times it was just like “I love you, I love you so much.” He also told me that he missed me when we weren’t talking. He told me that he tried to get his sister to talk to me but she wouldn’t. He asked me again to have a threesome with him and his new girlfriend (and by threesome, he means he wants to have sex with me while his gf watches and vice versa ). He said “I want you so bad.” He also said that the threesome is the only way he can have sex with me and it not be cheating. This is kind of graphic, but he told me that he liked having sex with me better than he does with his new girlfriend. He told me I have bigger boobs and he also told me I have a nice butt. Things got really sexual. We ended up having phone sex. I think phone sex is cheating. I feel kind of bad; I know better. I would never want to be “the other woman” in a scenario. I’m opposed to having the threesome. I think it’s a bad idea. I asked him why he couldn’t just find someone who lives near him (reminder: I live 5 hours from him) and he said that he only wants to do it with me and he trusts me. So on Sunday, he called me and said something like “Sorry about last night. I was really drunk. I said some things I shouldn’t have.” I know he wasn’t THAT drunk. Especially since he obviously remembers the things he said. We didn’t talk for long because he was on a long drive home from a job-related thing. I texted him today (Monday), he replied instantly, I said something back, then he replied to that and also at the same time said not to text him because he was going for a run. Then he called me later and put me on speaker with him and his new girlfriend. I texted him a short while later and said “I wasn’t expecting to talk to her. She seems really nice but you caught me by surprise. That wasn’t cool.” Then he replied saying “Sorry. Do you think she is a ho?” and I said “Of course not. Why would I think that?” Then he said “There is no reason why you should think that.” I knew that he was just messing with me so I called him to make sure it was clear that I didn’t have that negative opinion of her.
Anyway, I feel like I’ve lost control of this situation and I don’t know what I should do moving forward.

Please help!
April

April 30, 2014 at 9:16 pm

Hi Chris! Hope you’re doing well.

Things took a turn for the weird the past few days.

On Sunday, he messaged me on FB basically just saying hello in a silly/joking way we used to when we were together. Then he texted me asking if he could post one of our private videos on the internet. He then said “I can post the other videos too but I wanted to make sure I had your permission first. I’ll wait 48 hours and if I don’t hear from you I’ll guess you’re fine with it since we aren’t talking.”

I didn’t respond to it. Then on Monday he sent me a bunch of FB messages over about a course of almost an hour he messaged me 10 times and called me twice. The messages went like this:

“Wtf is your problem?”
“You’re such a two faced cunt. Read the last thing you wrote to me about wanting to leave a good note between us. I know you cheated on me and I still forgave you.”
“I fucking sacrificed so much, I went to god damn war while you were eating twinkies back home whoring around and pg cuddling.”
“Now that I’ve moved on you have the nerve to flat our ignore me??? I thought you said you wanted to be friends?”
“Whatever you were a cheating cunt back…and you will always be a cheating whore at least when I slept with another girl we had already broken up.” (He was referring to a situation I had before I started dating him where I was involved with 2 guys, not in an actual relationship with either one but involved with both. This was like 4 years ago.)

“Good luck getting a job as a former porn star you stupid slut.”
“All I want is closure, none of this immature ignoring nonsense. Is it really worth fucking over your future just to spite me?”
“You already lied when you said you wouldn’t get mad when I told you those things and your response is ignoring me, indicating you are mad.”
“I can’t believe I ever dated someone so stupid. Even if I was the worst person in the world and did tons of terrible things to you (sleeping with someone after we break up is not)..it doesn’t make any sense why you would just ignore me and risk screwing yourself over? We’ve known each other since we were 12 and I just want to talk? Why is that so unreasonable?”
“Hello?”

So then Tuesday night (last night) he texted me a dirty pic of me.

Anyway, so he thinks I’m ignoring him because I’m angry that he has a girlfriend. But I’m really not angry at him at all.

He’s clearly really angry with me but I think that’s only coming from him wanting to talk to me. I’m currently on day 19 of NC.

I’m afraid that he’ll ignore me in retaliation when I try to talk to him again or not want to be friends with me at all. I’m a little worried that he’ll post private videos or pictures of me but that would be a really cruel thing for him to do. I feel like he was only saying that to try to scare me or manipulate me into talking to him.

I really need some help deciphering his messages/actions. I remember you said in one of your guides that we should look at our exes actions, not necessarily the specific messages they send. So if I’m looking at his actions, he’s angry at me for not responding so that must mean he cares a lot about getting a response and he cares about getting a response because so he cares about me?

This further contributes to my theory that his new girlfriend isn’t real. Because if he has a girlfriend, why would he care so much about me responding? Hmmm.

Do you think NC is working the way it’s supposed to in my situation? Any advice for how to handle this?

Thanks for your time. Much appreciated!
admin

May 6, 2014 at 6:32 pm

Actions are where the truth is. Always remember that. Looking at his actions he is definitely angry about you not responding but that also is indicitive of the fact that he still has feelings for you.
April

April 21, 2014 at 7:29 pm

Oh okay!

So a day ago, my ex FB messaged me saying “Are you ignoring me?”

Then yesterday he texted me saying “Happy Easter! Are you ignoring me?” Then a few hours later he said “Even when I was mad at you, I wouldn’t just flat out ignore you. So why don’t you just talk to me and let me know what is on your mind?”

Then shortly after that he texted again saying “If you don’t want to be friends anymore for some reason that is fine but have the courtesy to let me know as the flat out ignoring me thing is worrisome that you are not ok.”

I feel really bad ignoring him.

Once I’m out of NC, won’t it seem weird if I text him out of the blue about something casual with no response to the texts/messages he’s been sending? What should I say if he asks why I wasn’t answering?

Also, I’m afraid that he’ll be so mad at me by the end of NC, that he won’t want to be friends.
April

April 18, 2014 at 6:36 pm

Hi Chris,

I have a few follow-up questions. I’m currently on day 7 of NC. He texted me on Tuesday night saying “Why aren’t you asleep?” (I guess he could see me awake and active on FB). Then he texted me on Thursday saying “You ok?”, Then he called me later on Thursday. Then texted again saying “I thought you still wanted to be friends?”

I’m worried that by doing NC I’m jeopardizing even just having a friendship with him. I’m afraid that he won’t want to talk to me after NC.

What do you think? I’m having second-thoughts on whether or not I’m doing the right thing. I don’t want to be mean in ignoring him and I feel bad not answering him.
April

April 14, 2014 at 5:29 pm

Okay. Do you think I should do NC?
April

April 11, 2014 at 9:06 pm

I should add that I asked him yesterday if he ever wants to see me again and he answered today saying “I’m not saying I would be opposed to seeing you again if we ran into each other for some reason as friends, but I’m not going to drive down and be tempted.”
admin

April 12, 2014 at 4:17 pm

Hahaha well its not perfect but its something.

Lets see what we can do about tempting him. Be really slow about your approach though.
April

April 12, 2014 at 12:39 am

He just told me today that he just started dating a girl yesterday.

Ahh. Help. 🙁

Anne

April 11, 2014 at 3:04 am

Great post. Thank you. Helps more than you know.

admin

April 11, 2014 at 4:16 am

Aw thanks!

That made my day.

Hally

April 10, 2014 at 11:08 pm

I have been doing NC for three weeks today.. I have a chance to see him in person next Tuesday and it might be a really good chance. I’ll have to ask him to come but it’s a valid excuse. Do you think I should not try or I should shoot. It would be a NC of 25 days. Please give me your opinion. I don’t want to mess it up with him again.

admin

April 11, 2014 at 4:16 am

Hmm… has he contacted you at all during NC?
Hally

April 11, 2014 at 4:21 am

Nope. I highly doubt he even will by the time it’s over. I see him in person often we just never speak, and I think he is starting to notice I’m avoiding him.

Amelia

April 10, 2014 at 8:14 pm

How can I make my ex to chase me again. He told me to “fuck off” and he is dating other women and he told me so.

I have explained to him all the reasons he brokeup with me do not exist.

but he is very determined not to see me even for a talk — he said it is in the past. I read all your articles but it does not apply to a 42 year old man.

admin

April 11, 2014 at 4:11 am

CAn you give me more information?

Melissa

April 10, 2014 at 7:49 pm

Very insightful guide…yep men are complicated creatures indeed…Don’t have a comment, just wanted to say thank you Chris for really for being there for me through your guides and helping me to deal with my breakup… It wasn’t easy but it helped me tremendously to deal with all the emotional issues I was going through…NC is probably one of the best things that I have done, it allowed me to improve myself and made me realize that I don’t need my ex to be happy…but more importantly ladies, it open your eyes to what you want from a man, what you don’t want and the kind of crap you aren’t willing to tolerate..Trust me your ex breaking up with you might be the best thing that has ever happened to you…you may not see it now but when you can look at things logically you will understand…sometimes we have to loose something good to gain something better…

Thanks Chris, you are one in a million and if one day I should visit Texas, I owe you a drink!

Thanks much and keep up the amazing work…

Melissa

admin

April 11, 2014 at 4:11 am

Well, you are very welcome.

And thank you for all the kind words. I will keep up the work as much as I can.

LORI GAVAZZI

April 10, 2014 at 7:37 pm

EXCELLENT ARTICLE

admin

April 11, 2014 at 4:08 am

EXCELLENT COMMENT!!!

YUUU

April 10, 2014 at 1:32 pm

Hi Chris, i dont know if you are there or not. But i need your advice :(.
My ex has pursued me for 2 months. We dated for 2 months. And broke up for 1 month.
When we dated, he was very nice to me, never hurt me. He was gentle, sweet. After he left me, he said he doesnt love me anymore. I begged him but it didnt work so i accepted. He said he would be regret leaving me And he remained we are still friend. So i didnt bother him in 1 week. Then the first day go to school, i talked to him that i’ll take him back. Everyday, i just sent 1-2 mess said that g9 or something like that But he didnt answer. He skipped school to avoid me For 2 week.
I lost my temper so i crazily called him, texted him, pm fb that i love him…
He blocked my phone, Then online fb, He said he doesnt love me, need me or want me, Has no feeling for me. We argued, I said i didnt do anything wrong, and ask him why he did this to me ? He became angry and said i am not his mother but i always made him embarrassed in front of his friends. Then he blocked my FB.
His bbf and sister didnt rely me too :(. He continued skipping school 1 week, just goes to school once a week. I have to act like i am not going to be crazy and harass him.
I think he believed that i am ok with it so he appear again . He looks so good, happy, funny, talks to another girl. I have to act :(( like im fine, ok. But every time he walked out of class, i feel so lonely, and i cried so many time that nobody knows. I think i cant apply NC, Cause we are classmate and see each other everyday.
What should i do ? And can i get him back cause we just in relationship for 2 months :(.

admin

April 11, 2014 at 4:02 am

I am here!!!!!

I exist!

I am a real person and not an internet fairy.

Why do you think he lost feelings? Lets focus on that first?
YUUU

April 12, 2014 at 4:06 am

He said loud and clear that he didnt want me, love me, have feeling for me 🙁
He didnt look at me in class or anywhere

Emma

April 10, 2014 at 11:59 am

Hi Chris, My ex (lived together and serious dated 3 years)and I broke up 5 months ago, and he moved on to someone else a week after we broke up..we kept in touch by text.. He said just weeks ago that he is still no over me!!! However heis still with his gf…and now he is ignoring me! I could just kick myself for not doing nc awhile ago..is it too late for nc to be effective?

admin

April 11, 2014 at 4:00 am

Hes not living with this new girl though is he?

just me!

April 10, 2014 at 10:24 am

I disagree that the reason women are attracted to ‘bad boys’ is because they feel they can change them etc. That’s probably true for some women but not all. I think there is a massive attraction in cocky arrogance. It’s a turn on. Simple as that. The things my last ex said to me, the way they were said were very powerful. Words can be very powerful. I had the best sex ever with him. I’d have done anything for him sexually, (legally of course!) Because i found his whole persona so sexy. Of course it helped that he was attractive and witty and intellingent. But he was ultimately selfish and yes a bit immature. So a long term serious relationship with a bad boy isn’t sustainable. But a fling with him might teach you a thing or two about yourself

admin

April 11, 2014 at 3:58 am

Interesting perspective.

I have this theory that every girl kind of has a bad boy phase and then they learn after it.
annallese

April 11, 2014 at 10:25 am

Hmm, all ive learnt from it is that i definitely have a type!

Clarissa

April 10, 2014 at 8:52 am

Eeek! I think I kinda put myself in bad ground! My bf of three years just kinda broke up with me out of the blue. I was devastated yada, yada. But that was almost a year ago. We still text once a month and we even went out on like a “catching up date” six months after the relationship. It was at this time he admitted, “I still have feelings for you. But I would not take back breaking up with you.” I was a little confused but respected this. I mean, our lives were heading two different directions at the time of the break up. When we broke up, however, he did mention that maybe someday if our lives cross again we could see if we could make it work. Recently (a month ago maybe) he said that he loved being single but that it had it’s pros and cons just like being in a relationship did. I guess he’s right. But since we are staying just friends do you think that it’s ruining my chance for being together again? I have not text him since btw and we are still pretty good friends.

admin

April 11, 2014 at 3:57 am

If you are just friends… its hard to get a relationship going again. Sure, a friendship can develop into a relationship over time but the percent chance of that happening is lower.

I don’t know for sure (what the statistic is) but thats what I believe.

ali

April 10, 2014 at 8:21 am

My ex is commitment phobic and after 3yrs together we had a break which I initiated…after 6weeks we were bk together…however he believes I saw smone else during that time…he was a friend that’s all he was…smone for me to rely on as the break really hurt me..smhow I thought if I call for a break my boyfriend would v com straight over to talk to me about it….he didn’t…..a friend(older person spent time talking to me etc..anyway long story cut short we got bk together but he believes I cheated with this guy…so now its not working and wev split we were (ogether 7yrs…def best relationship ever but he lacked commitment(abused as a child from his mother always felt worthless etc…..anyway we have text. Everyday ..met up occassionally and its been 8months…..I tried no contact but he popped over…all bit diff dnt know wat to do…..if I dnt reply hed think I was terribly rude..but def not initiating anymore..just want him to dissapear. But all the more diff we both liv in same town n go to same gym..tho I go at diff times…..but everyones always known us together so all mention him or me….I’m totally ovr whelmed with it all and dnt know wat to do .Thanx for ur interesting blogs on the male mind.very interesting ….A.M uk

admin

April 11, 2014 at 3:54 am

Hmm… I guess it is a good sign that he is jealous but is his jealousy taking over?

Sabrina

April 10, 2014 at 7:54 am

Men are really compilcated beings. Why do men date women who isnt they usually go for.

admin

April 11, 2014 at 3:52 am

What do you mean?

Sorry, you kind of lost me with the second sentence of your comment.
Sabrina

April 12, 2014 at 11:13 am

I do have a question, if you have a perfect relationship with your ex parents, they treat you like their own or even their son in law. Would you still continue to talk to them, get coffee and just hang out? Even though your ex is in a relationship and is frequently asking about you from his parents?
admin

April 12, 2014 at 4:35 pm

I wouldn’t personally…
Sabrina

April 13, 2014 at 11:36 am

Why not? Is it ok to keep on touch with mom?
Sabrina

April 11, 2014 at 5:28 am

Sorry chris i have been down in the dumps today
admin

April 12, 2014 at 3:43 pm

Sorry about being down in the dumps. I know it really sucks. But it will get better. just take it day by day.

Abi Jaiy

April 10, 2014 at 7:35 am

This is a brilliant guide.

My ex has just gone to Spain for football for two years, and Im wondering uf I should let him initiate, instead of me because it would look like I’m chasing him from England whilst hes in Spain. Right?!

admin

April 11, 2014 at 3:50 am

Thank you!

I don’t think its that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things to be honest.

I would actually say you contact him and then end the conversation first.

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