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2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

  1. Jenni

    August 29, 2014 at 11:21 pm

    i just broke up with my bf yesterday.We were kind of okay,but the past few weeks he had been too busy all the time with his friends,to the point were even his bestfriend left him for 20 days because of how he was kind of treating me.yesterday when he told me,he just blew up in paragraphs telling me how stressed and depressed he is because he is aware that he had been treating me horribly and he know how hurt ive been trying to get his attention and feeling empty the more he spent more time with his friends,yet he was scared of letting me go and said he didnt want me to go forever and said to stay as his best friend.he told me he will always love me and never regret what we have done together but i dont want this to be the end.he sent me a few txts today about how he was doing,of how he was at work and then going to the beach.ill give the 30 day worth a shot. i was still hurt when he said he couldnt picture a future for us together ,he’s been my best friend since we were kids..only now that we have dated and this happened that i realized how much i truly love him. i just want him to fall for me again…,we had been together for almost a year,this was our 9th month,his birthday is next month,it bummed me out when he broke up with me because i was going to get his presents early aswell. i want him to love me again..

    1. admin

      September 2, 2014 at 12:17 pm

      Hold the horses. His best friend left him for a spell because of how he was treating you?

  2. Anne

    August 29, 2014 at 8:38 pm

    My boyfriend of 6 months just broke up with me, i still love him and want to be with him. I asked him to stay but he said he doesnt have the same feelings for me anymore. We have had fights over the past two months and we barely fix them because he shuts down. I have been the “needy” and “nagging” gf to put it in a nutshell. He has his mistakes and i admit I have my own faults too.

    I dont know what to do. Please help.

    1. admin

      September 2, 2014 at 12:16 pm

      Well, then it’s time to erase that needy/nagging image.

  3. ellie

    August 29, 2014 at 5:10 pm

    hi, me and my boyfriend broke up 3 days ago now in the midst of an argument, he said he was too under pressure from his controlling parents and from me also.

    i made the mistake of texting him a mere few hours after asking what was happening and if there was anything worth saving as the actual ‘break up’ was heated and we didn’t really talk, more argue. he said he loved me but wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore as it was too much pressure swell as his family pressures (related to them not wanting him to see me)

    i havent spoken to him since then and he just asked to meet and talk, do i agree or not? he said he can’t today as he’s busy yet what can be more important?

    1. admin

      September 2, 2014 at 12:12 pm

      Did his family have a problem with you or something?

    2. Angel

      January 11, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      After 2 years of being together and living together and many little arguments he decides to break up with me, we just got back from holiday and the next day he was feeling sick so I tried to help him by getting him some dinner and by being loving he was in a bad mood because of feeing sick and was taking it all out on me so I pretty much kept trying till I had enogh and snapped back, well things went from bad to worse as soon as I snapped back he stoped talking to me, the next day he comes home from work and starts packing his things and leaves so I decided to stay at my mums for the night and give us some time apart yes I was texting him and he just kept reading my messages and not replying 2 days later we r both at home and I try talking to him he just kept saying that he doesn’t want a relationship anymore that he wants to be single that he will do better on his own and that I have to move out, so I thought he just needed more space and went and stayed at my sisters house for A week with no contact to eachother, after a week of not hearing from him I decide to go home I try once again to talk to him and he started to be really nasty saying that he was only with me out of sympathy and that I depend on my family to much ( my family live 5 hours away) and that he no longer loves me but hates me. He then kicked me out, He blocked me on FB straight away then after 2 days un blocked me so I blocked him the only way I could stop checking his FB every 5 minutes. it’s been two weeks with no contact and I miss him like crazy my heads just being flooded with all the good memories that I’m left confused and just don’t know how to feel or what to do, yes I want him back am I silly to hope that he will contact me….. Please I’m so confused

    3. Angel

      January 11, 2015 at 3:49 pm

      We Have been arguing a bit lately but never this bad his never been this nasty I just don’t understand how literally one day I was everything to him he loved me and was happy and then the very next day breaks up with me over something so stupid we have argued over worse things never this bad tho. Please help me

  4. Alicia

    August 29, 2014 at 1:52 am

    I need help. my fiance left me 6 days ago. we have a 8 month old. he says he loves me but needs some space. in this time he did some things I never thought he would do to me. how do I get him back do I do the waiting limited contact of course since we have a baby how do I cope? is it worth fighting for

    1. admin

      August 29, 2014 at 12:12 pm

      Limited contact right now yes.

  5. Kris

    August 26, 2014 at 11:22 pm

    i text my ex the other day after 35 days NC and he responded an hour later. he asked how i was and said he hoped all was well with me. i text him back telling him how i am and he did not respond after that. i want to try to establish more of a conversation with him, but the only way i can think of anything is to ask about his parents or his roommates to get more of a response out of him.

    1. what are you thoughts on another NC period?
    2. is it too personal too early to ask about his family/his apartment living situation/his friends or something/etc?

    1. admin

      August 28, 2014 at 12:16 pm

      1. Ok, but make it a lot shorter I think.
      2. Yes, wait a bit before you dive in to those topics.

    2. Kris

      August 28, 2014 at 12:42 pm

      ok thank you! would a text like: “you’ll never guess what happened” text work to tell him i finally got a new job after looking for so long?

    3. admin

      August 29, 2014 at 11:45 am

      I think it is certainly worth a shot!

  6. Nicole

    August 19, 2014 at 2:36 am

    I was recently dating someone I’ve known for a very long time. his divorce wasn’t final, but he assured me there would be no problem. he was done, and was waiting on papers. moving along we had a great relationship, and one day his soon to be ex wife decided to come back and cause hell…. begging him back! doing everything she could. he told me we needed to pause things, and I was confused and didn’t understand. weeks later I find out they slept together. he still texting me how much he loves me, doesn’t want to lose me, etc. that his being with her was a mistake. it’s her tactic. she is a evil woman. now left in limbo, no closure, only him saying “step aside” I love you. we can’t be together now. when I don’t speak for days he always comes back around. it’s been 4 days now with no communication. I feel played.

    1. admin

      August 19, 2014 at 2:33 pm

      Does she have kids with him?

    2. Mira

      September 2, 2014 at 3:17 am

      I have the same problem with nicole. His wife wanna get back together. I feel played as well. He texted me saying wanna get back together and still love n miss me. But i found out, they slept together too. He has a kid.

  7. Jade

    August 12, 2014 at 11:24 am

    What if we broke up a year ago? I’ve always had feelings for him, from the day we first spoke until now, they just keep intensifying.
    He dated another girl since we broke up, and I was her friend (helped her with her issues because I thought she made him happy, I wanted him to be happy) she then turned into a crazy lady, and broke up with him a couple of days ago? What do I say? I’d love to say any of the things you listed, but it’s wrong, it’s betrayal to her, and then I want to, for my own personal feelings…

    1. admin

      August 13, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      I say wait a while to let him heal from the breakup a bit.

  8. Mary

    August 11, 2014 at 11:44 am

    What if he wants you to post on facebook everything that you have done?
    So that everyone will know that you cheated on him?

    1. admin

      August 12, 2014 at 11:04 am

      Don’t do that. Who are these people?

  9. Amanda

    August 5, 2014 at 1:46 am

    Hey, I’m wondering if you have any advice on how to handle no contact with a guy I work with. Recently I asked for a break which I had done many times before, however, he never gives me my break and actually contacts me more and goes out of his way to keep me interested by texting me compliments like crazy and basically worshipping the ground I walk on. Anyhow, no matter what I do, he’s always wanting my attention even when I ask for a break. So how should I do the no contact thing when during my break, he texts me? Should I ignore it? What about if we see eachother on a daily because of work? Do I avoid him? Basically, I’m taking a break because he needs to see how life is without me fulfilling his needs as I feel that he’s getting to used to having me doting on him. He needs to feel it. Please help me as I really have no idea how to handle it at this point especially since he always texts me. I don’t want to hurt him… I just want to show him what life is like without me in it.

    1. admin

      August 6, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      I think in this case its more about limited contact (not no contact.)

    2. Amanda

      August 6, 2014 at 10:34 pm

      I really really need some advice on something which I completely forgot to mention on my last post which is crucial! No one yet has been able to help me with this and always find myself stuck. You mentioned limited contact… So when he does contact me to compliment me and tell me what a Goddess I am and how beautiful I am etc etc, as he always compliments me…. How would I respond to those texts? This is so important to me because I never know how to reply to his texts about how sexy and beautiful I look. What would be my best response? I’m speaking of during the limited contact. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply!

    3. Amanda

      August 6, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      Thanks! Ur right…. Limited contact. No contact would be awkward considering I see him on a daily and if I were to ignore his texts, he would come over to my office. The reason I needed advice is because i feel he might be using me to boost his ego and because I put him on a pedestal and constantly admired and complimented him, I feel he now has a big ego so I need to take that down a notch. Mind you, it’s not one sided as he compliments me more than I do him, but I do feel he for comfortable about how much I want him and now knows he has power over me so I just wanted to reverse that. I would rather have power over him as that is when I am at my best. Do you have advice as to how I could quickly turn the table in my favour during limited contact? Something that would be sure to work? I already know for sure that he’s obsessed with me so that’s not the issue… I just know in my heart that the obsession went from a 10 to an 8 and I just want it back to an 10. Thanks again! I’ll def do the limited contact. By the way, ur site is amazing and gave me so much information. You really opened my eyes!

    4. admin

      August 11, 2014 at 11:00 am

      Thanks for the kind words.

      (Also sorry for the late response. )

      Advice on turning the tables… Hmm… do you think you could be more specific for me?

  10. Michelle

    August 4, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    So I’ve been texting my ex for a few days now and I get mostly neutral/positive responses from him but I feel like he responds to me after I send him a text and is not initiating texts on his own. Hopefully, that just means I need to be patient. My questions are, how long between text messages should I wait? Do I text once a day or wait several days or just mix it up? Also any suggestions on how to get him to initiate a text. I tried the “OMG your not going to believe what I just saw” text and it worked pretty well but that was 3 days ago and I haven’t heard from him since and I haven’t sent anything either. Thanks for your help.

  11. holly

    August 1, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    I wa in a realationship for 10+ yrs, we have a child, after he cheated on me I cheated on him, was nagging him about his drug and alcohal usewe’ve been broke up almost 2 yrs, no day goes by were I don’t think about it.. he’s a part of who I am I’m 29 was together since 16.. I miss my best friend terribly is it to late? How can I follow the no contact rule when we have to share a child.. I do have minimul contact and he also has a ft now but has had four or five fwb in the past year n half.. please help me I want my family and life back desperately he’s cold, and bitter towards me help me save our futures.. thank you in advance,

    1. admin

      August 4, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      You cheated on him as a way to get back at him?

      Definitely keep doing MC.

  12. Sky

    July 30, 2014 at 11:02 pm

    Hey I was wondering if you could help me get back my ex. He lives in Sweden (me America) and I miss him so much it’s killing me. I remember everything he’s said , and the wonderful stories + pictures he sent me. He stills has his Skype but I get really afraid when I try to talk to him….

    1. admin

      August 4, 2014 at 2:09 pm

      Have you attempted anything this site recommends yet?

  13. Michelle

    July 30, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    So I’ve been texting my ex for a few days now and I get mostly neutral/positive responses from him but I feel like he responds to me after I send him a text and is not initiating texts on his own. Hopefully, that just means I need to be patient. My question is, how long between text should I wait? Do I text once a day or wait several days or just mix it up?

    1. admin

      August 4, 2014 at 1:46 pm

      Mix it up.

  14. Danielle

    July 30, 2014 at 12:20 am

    Hi. I need some advice about my situation. My boy friend broke up with me last month and I packed up my suit case and left to stay at a friends house on the first of July. I made a mistake and contacted him by text after a week and we spoke on the phone and he was vague but said he needed time and space. So since reading your nc rule Article I started over and haven’t contacted him since. We have plans to go to a concert on aug 10 with two other friends and he is still planning on going. So that will be 33 days since contact and a month and ten days since we’ve seen each other. Obviously I’ll be trying to be the ungettable girl at this concert and have to plans on ” talking” about our situation. I hear things from our mutual friends. Things he’s said like ” I don’t want her to think were getting back together if I go to the concert” and ” no were not getting back together”. So my question is, when guys say things like this, is there a possibility that more time can change these thoughts or if he says things like this three or four weeks in, is that a bad sign? And also, does seeing each other after a month ever make a difference ? Will there be a chance that he can re adjust his feelings after seeing me? And how do I start contact after this encounter? Or if I should at all. Thank you.

    1. admin

      July 30, 2014 at 3:10 pm

      What did he say his reason was for breaking up?

  15. Broke hearted beauty

    July 25, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    Hi I really need your help, me and my ex broke up 2 weeks ago because we both needed space. We lived together and I decided to move back home because it’s what was best for the both of us. He was really hurt by that and told me I broke is heart and he won’t forgive me. It’s only been two weeks and he met a girl and they had sex he said he was sorry and it didn’t mean anything. I’m so hurt and torn i just want him back in my life. I made the mistake of basically throwing myself at him and seeming desperate. I love him and miss him so much. There was a time when he was madly in love with me and now he doesn’t want to speak he said he needs time but within that time I’m afraid it’s going to be too late. I can’t lose him he never gave up on me before and I can’t give up on him.

    1. admin

      July 28, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      If you broke up isn’t it customary for you to move out or did you move out before you broke up?

  16. Maya

    July 25, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    Hello!
    Since almost 2 1/2 months now, my x is not talking to me, blocked me in whatsapp and facebook.
    To be honest..after our breakup, i was kind of a stalker 🙁 now i feel ashamed of having acted so weak and out-of-control. His parents found out my message terror and made him change his number. (Yeah, its horrible, i know..and believe me, this is normally not my real me, i was just completely out of control..cause he accused me of things i never did and it was just …unfair…it was so unfair, that i started to harm him….i contacted some friends of him and told them bad stuff that they shouldnt knew….i regret it so much but his trust is gone….
    we r living in different countries, and now he changed his number and i wrote him the last short email on 17th of July…Just apology and that i give him time and that he should remember good times and blablabla….i really will give him time and think….and really, since this break up happened 2 1/2 month ago (since then i havent heard a syllable of him, nor his friends tell me anything)
    I know u all must think now how bad person i am..and actually i regret all my mistakes and would never hurt him again….and now i miss him and i know that he loved me like crazy and that hes just so crazy hurt etc..
    i promise..i will keep the no contact rule…but what after…WHAT can i do that he talks to me 🙁

    1. admin

      July 28, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      You should read my article on clingyness.

  17. Anon

    July 25, 2014 at 4:35 am

    Hi, my ex & I broke up a couple months ago and stopped speaking to one another. I recently made contact with him via text, I’m currently “priming” him. It’s only been a couple days since I have been back in contact with him & he always replies to my texts immediately & things have been positive. The thing is I haven’t been flirty or anything like that because I don’t want it to be obvious that I am trying to get back with him because when we broke up it was because he wasn’t sure he wanted to be with me & he wanted a break, I made the mistake of basically begging him back which just pushed him further away & things ended bad. Although I do want him back, I don’t want it to be obvious cause I don’t want to scare him away, but what do I do if he never initiates a text with me? I don’t want to become a text gnat, lol.

    1. admin

      July 25, 2014 at 3:06 pm

      Well, I wouldn’t worry too much about that since you already have replying at a good clip.

  18. Kristen

    July 20, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    would something like this be a good first text to send: ‘I just saw _____ and it made me smile and think of you. how are you? hope all is well.’?

    1. admin

      July 21, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      I think it would be yes.

  19. laila

    July 19, 2014 at 3:08 pm

    hi , so i am in a really messed up lace ryt now .
    i have been with this guy for 3 years , and 3 yrs he enevr showed any kind of appreciation towards me , like never calld or sms cuz he dsnt hv credit for 3 yrs !!!
    never even gifted me anythg on occasions , where as i thew hin birthday parties nd expnsve gifts , he din even bother to call on mine , jst a miscal LOOL !
    Now m cnfused if hes just a gold digger or really loves me ???!
    Cuz i feel soo Used over here !! nd i really love him
    But when i see how much my frnds bf do for them , dis hurts me !!! like hes judt using my money
    how can someone be broke for 3 years ??? yet go out nd have fun !!
    PLEASE HELP ME !! i dotn knw if i should stay with him ( we broke up smtym bak ) , like try to get him back or just move on ??? he never bothered to spend A single penny on mee ! wht to doo ??
    🙁

    1. laila

      July 19, 2014 at 3:11 pm

      did i mention 3 years he never took me on a date or anythgg !! it was jst me takng him out few times !! should i stop or wait for things to get better ???

    2. admin

      July 21, 2014 at 4:01 pm

      NEVER A DATE????

      Are you kidding me?

      That can’t be real…

    3. laila

      July 22, 2014 at 8:13 am

      NO NEVER in 3 years !! cuz he is brokee
      is he just using me or really ????
      but i love him sooo muchh ……
      wht to doo ??? PLESE HELEP ME 🙁 i am so lost …

    4. laila

      July 27, 2014 at 12:35 am

      i would be grateful for ur reply ! 🙁

    5. admin

      July 28, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      I’m here. How can I help?

    6. laila

      July 28, 2014 at 3:56 pm

      Thank you sooo much for your reply Chris !!!
      so what should i do now ? try harder or leve him ?
      he tld me hes moving on and i shld not contact him , he said not spkng to me will be easier for him to move o . is it truee ??
      i started NC and on 3rd day today , its soooo difficult !!!
      what should i do ?please tell me ? is he worth all this ?

    7. admin

      July 29, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      I think its worth fighting for if you do.

    8. laila

      July 29, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      Thank You for ur reply !!
      u wld say its worth it ? like after the no dates for 3 years , never calln n stuff ??
      he even has someone to move on to !!
      will the NC help even he has sum1 ??
      yes in my heart i will alwys love him , he was my 1st bf , i thnk dats y i cant thnk straight nd need ur opinion !!!
      M SORRY to ask soo many qs 🙁

  20. Shy

    July 16, 2014 at 10:44 pm

    Hello Chris,

    Maybe you can help me!?!? Here is my story.. I met my ex Halloween 2008 at a dive bar. He approached me and got my number. After much coercion (on his part) I agreed to meet up with him. I was not looking for anything serious at the time and immediately placed him in the FWB category. We both dated other people, but were always drawn back to each other.

    Jump to 2014: we have (had) been friends for 6 years. During an exceptionally difficult time in my life, he contacted me and initiated a relationship. I had just ended a 4 year long distance relationship and was feeling vulnerable. He assured me “it would be different with him. That he had always wanted a relationship and loves me.” He practically begged for me to give him a chance. I fell for it..
    More background:
    His job is very demanding and takes the majority of his time and moves him around the country quite a bit. I do temp work as well as some fetish modeling and other odd jobs.

    About a month into our relationship, I started to feel pushed away and disrespected. He began making requests to “liven up” our relationship. His contact became less and less. He said it was because of his job and the time difference we were facing at the time. He also started accusing me of cheating every time if went out. I tried to explain to him that I have extreme social anxiety, but he accused me of lying.
    Eventually, I told him I thought we should wait until he was back home to continue our relationship. He stated that’s not what he wanted (but didn’t say what he did want), but respected my decision. I regretted it the minute the words came out of my mouth. I love him and want to be with him and only him! I have complied to the NC rule 2 times, but when I do contact him, he always asks “who is this?” It literally drives me crazy and I obsessively text him for days before coming to my senses. This last time, he told me he had been in town. The thought of him being here and not contacting me broke my heart. I became that psycho ex gnat texter! I even begged for him to take me back!! I hate that I lowered myself (I’m usually very confident and prideful). I DO NOT want for him to see me as desperate, needy, clingy, and crazy. I have applied the NC rule once again. It has only been two days..

    Any advice???

    1. admin

      July 18, 2014 at 3:10 pm

      Let me ask you, did you ever get over the LDR guy?

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