Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Krystal

June 13, 2014 at 1:14 am

Hi Chris,
I read your site often and must i say its cleverly put together. I’m glad there are people out there like you willing to help.
I was wondering if someone could please give me some advice.
My bf of 3 yrs is going through a life changing situation right now. He broke up with me a 11 days ago. He says its just his feelings & he needs to stay away from me. His court date is in 12 days from now.

I’m wondering if he’s in a rebound relationship or not (he hasn’t been with her too long, maybe less than 3 or 4 weeks).
Do I have any chance to get him back from her?
Do I wait until after his court to see what happens?
Should I open the line of communication up again?

P.S. thank you, sorry its a little long 🙂

admin

June 15, 2014 at 3:50 pm

How long has he been dating the new girl?
Krystal

June 18, 2014 at 5:13 am

I haven’t been in contact with him since June 1st so i don’t know his situation now. I just have an initiative feeling that he could be lying.
Anyways thank you so much 🙂
Krystal

June 18, 2014 at 5:02 am

This is all what he has told me over the phone… He didn’t sound at all excited about being with someone new, he sounded very sad (which isn’t like him at all when we talk on the phone usually). Could he be lying??
Thank you sorry the posts are so long… It would be so helpful to have your point if view. Thank you 🙂
Krystal

June 18, 2014 at 4:34 am

Hi Chris,
Sorry i didn’t get back to you sooner… On June 1st he said he hasn’t been with her ‘too long’ I’m assuming maybe 5 or 6 weeks at the most. His court is in less than 8 days. It seems he has completely cut me out if his life, it hurts, as I’m sure you can imagine. I don’t know what to do Chris…
I’m just wondering if i should wait to see what happens after his court date (he might have to voluntarily leave this country, he has a 30-70% chance of staying.)
Is she a rebound? Is it possible that I can get him back?
What would your advice be?? Sorry there’s so many questions… I’m just in a lot of pain right now & don’t know what to do. Thank you again for your response it’s greatly appreciated. 😀

B

June 12, 2014 at 8:58 am

Hello,

You would make my day if you replied to me!!!

It’s been 4 months now since my breakup.
And before I got introduced to your guide I tried my best to get her back during this month.

Started when I was in a state of anger when I told her that: I should be away, I need to focus on my work and make changes in my life.
But wait a sec I didn’t mean it I just wanted to make action in our relationship and wanted her to need me more and show more feelings.
A lot of arguments took place ended by me not talking to her for 3 days.

After coming back and trying to talk to her, she’s not her anymore I knew she got hurt from her sis and I knew it was my mistake.
We had a conversation on the phone telling that she just want us as friends not more and she can’t see me for a while.(later she mentioned that she’s not willing to see me for ever).
She told me she’s tired of having close people in her life and she will stop getting close to anybody until it’s a serious relationship which will lead to engagement or whatever.

After that she knew that I was sick and she showed care of always checking on me how my health is developing
Her sister tried to fix it. But it ended in a fight between them telling her not to talk about this.

I kept calling her from time to time to check about her she was replying normally but with an attitude of hey am not coming back to you, sometimes twice a week or ones a week, cuz once I promised her that whatever happens I will always be next to her and ask about her. And I feel by not talking to her she’ll think that am not a man who keeps a promise.
I got so sick later and her sister told her that I will have a critical surgery in my stomach and then booom here’s the change, she didn’t call or even text to check about me. Knowing that she knew that am talking to her sis that is my friend and they had a fight one more time telling her sister not to contact me or talk to me anymore, and that she’s not gonna talk to me at all.

Been 2 months with no contact and i knew she has now a new boyfriend,and She seems happy now with the new guy

And since the breakup till now its 4 months.

I know and no doubt she still has feelings to me.
But shes trying to show that she’s over it now but her statuses and pictures on whatsapp and I feel she’s trying to show that she’s getting close to someone else.

Please advice me what to do, I know you may not reply, but you’d make my day if you guide me.

admin

June 15, 2014 at 3:35 pm

Hi there,

Have you tried checking out my other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery.

Sam

June 12, 2014 at 6:45 am

Hey, so I know this isn’t what this article is about but I met this guy just last weekend, we really hit it off. I had to give him and his friend a ride jome, he asked me to stay, but I had to drive some other friends home. After I took my other friends home, I went back to his place and spent the night with him. We kinda got a little hot, and then I’d stop him, because I didn’t want “this to end up as a one night stand”, he’d assure me it wouldn’t, and we’d talk a little. He stayed cuddled with me all night and then in the morning, we talked and laughed and goofed off. Then we got a little hot again and I stopped him again. We went for a walk outside and talked some more, then I had to leave and took him to his truck. He told me if I wanted to come hang later, to hit him up. So it ended up that I had to wait for some friends to get off work before I could get my stuff and had nothing to do, I asked him if he wanted to hang out. He told me he was at the gym and would text me a little later. A couple hours passed, nothing. So I texted him and he said he was playing basketball. I ended up having to spend the night in town before I could head home, so I asked him if I could stay over again. He told me “Probably not. I need to get a full nights rest.” I said alright and stayed with some other friends. He ended up blocking me on Facebook and now won’t answer my texts. I’m confused at what I did wrong and thought everything was ok. I told him that I didn’t think he was that guy, and if he really wanted to talk to me, he would. And that I’ve never been rejected or thrown away this quickly before. And that I was thoroughly confused by his actions. Any advice on what to do?

admin

June 15, 2014 at 3:33 pm

NC him.

Kelsey Williams

May 28, 2014 at 3:04 pm

Hi I dated this guy and we really hit it off were young I’m a junior and he’s a senior in highschool we are so close and where during our relationship we told each other everything like what we were doing that night our deepest secrets and we texted 24/7 we had sex and were super close after that too later on our parents found out and my mom freaked out we made it through that and we stayed close and our relationship got stronger. He started talking about marrying me and having kids with me about a month ago he signed to be a marine and everything was still great we had it all planed out but then a week ago he out of the blue breaks up with me nobody knew about it he didn’t even tell his brothers about it. He also broke up with me over text on our 6 month anniversary he told me we were moving to fast and that I deserve someone better. Monday I went to go give him his stuff back and we talked he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship he kept telling me he loved me and when we went to hug and say goodbye he kept touching me like it would be the last time he ever did he held my hands and kissed me and hugged me some more then he started crying trying to put me back in the car I was crying so hard. We both finally calmed down and I had to wipe away his tears I told him that I loved him so much and I didn’t hate him and that he would always be my baby I told him I would look and try to find someone else but it would be hard and if I didn’t find someone who made me feel the way he made me feel then I would wait for him until he was ready he then asked me what if he met someone where ever he got stationed I told him I would wait and fight for us until the day he says I do to her. He begged me to still be friends so sometimes we snapchat or sometimes we text. I really want him back fast how can I get him back and make him miss me and want me more than ever now?

admin

May 29, 2014 at 3:23 pm

18 years old and talking about having kids already…

Were you two talking about going to college?

Terrible GF (now Ex)

May 27, 2014 at 2:22 pm

Hi, my boyfriend & i have been dating for three and a half years and live together for 2. Recent went through my phone and read my whatsapp conversation that I had with one guy. Most were pretty normal day-to-day stuff like hows work? Or Are you going to that event? And random chit chat. But then it got to a point where he messaged me that he likes me, and i just brushed off the conversation. Eventually we would messages each other flirty things, but nothing sexual. I didnt enjoy texting him these things but i honestly liked the attention from someone else- not that I didnt get from my bf. The this guy and i had a fall out, because he asked me to break up with my bf for him & i told him i couldnt and didnt want to. so we stopped talking for a few months. Then he asked me to go for lunch- i met up with him, he asked how my relationship was- i said great, he asked- does he have a chance and i said no. and that was the end of our flirting messaging session. But now my boyfriend is convinced that i have been cheating on him with this guy- which i did. But never did I have sex or kiss this guy. And my ex finds this very hard to believe, I dont blame him either. how can I get to realize that I’m telling the truth, or how can I fix this?

admin

May 28, 2014 at 2:34 pm

Ya… if I found out my girlfriend had done that to me I would probably sit her down and talk to her about how hurt I was that she would flirt with another guy that way. Alos, going out to lunch with someone you know has a crush on you is not smart. You knew he liked you so why go out with him and risk potentially losing your boyfriend?

Clare

May 21, 2014 at 10:26 am

Thx for the keeping-it-real website. Hope you can help.
I’m very independent so tend to not do the relationship thing. However, as fate would have it I met someone really cool, we went out for 2 weeks, but he broke it off because I was too closed.
He was the one who did all the messaging, calling and organising while we were going out. I know I messed up and told him to give me time but he doesn’t want to give me a second chance. I know 2 weeks is nothing major, but considering it takes a lot for me to be interested I don’t want to walk away just yet. Do the same rules apply or will the 30 day no contact rule just mess things up more? Or should I just give up considering it was such a short thing?

admin

May 21, 2014 at 4:04 pm

If you were to get him back do you think you could try opening up more the next time around?

Also, a shorter NC period.

nthabi

May 20, 2014 at 1:48 pm

Ok so me and my ex-boyfriend broke about a month ago and I’m on day 21 with NC…I’m trying to think of a way to break the no-contact, what would be the best way?

admin

May 21, 2014 at 2:15 pm

You might want to try something out of this page, https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-version-2-0/

Ashley Faj

May 17, 2014 at 1:27 pm

We officially broke up over 2 weeks ago. We’ve been together for 9 months. I told him I love him but he couldnt say it back. He said he doesn’t feel anything for anyone. I don’t believe that. I know deep inside him, he loves me. Even my friends think so. He has commitment issues, where he says he pulls away when things get serious. We agreed we’d be friends though. But deep down, im still hoping we’d get back together, thinking the friendship would build a stronger rel’p for us. He even agreed to hanging out on a regular basis. After the breakup, texting each other ensued for 2 days until he just suddenly didnt reply. I texted him the next day and found out he was out of town with his family. I told him that itd be best if i dont contact him for a while. I thought i need to get used to not being his gf anymore who constantly worries what he’s doing and where he is all the time. But 3 days later, i thought that was pathetic so i sent him a msg on fb. He replied but after a few exchange of msgs, he stopped texting back. Sent him a text next morning, and the level of care he showed lowered. He only answered my questions and when i didnt ask any, he stopped replying again. That was over a week ago and i havent sent him any texts since then. Im feeling desperate. Any advice on where do i go from here? Thanks a lot.

admin

May 20, 2014 at 8:46 pm

What was the issues with the breakup. What do you think caused it I mean?

Lana

May 16, 2014 at 3:48 pm

How many days interval do you suggest would be good between these texts conversations, if he reacts positively?

Thanks.

admin

May 20, 2014 at 8:28 pm

1-2… sometimes no day wait. Depends on how positive his response is.
Lana

May 17, 2014 at 7:22 am

Also, I’m a little confused. It has happened a few times. He reacts positively but then changes the topic a little to share his plans with his buddies with me (he even includes the details sometimes), without actually offering any sort of invitation.

From a guy’s POV, what do you believe is the reason for this?
admin

May 20, 2014 at 8:40 pm

What kind of plans does he share?
Lana

May 21, 2014 at 4:25 pm

Occasionally just normal day-to-day plans, mostly weekend plans and most recently,his near-future plans with his life.

Any ideas what could be the reason for this topic deviation during text conversations?

Thanks again.

Lauren

May 16, 2014 at 4:16 am

So my boyfriend and I were fighting a lot and even when he said it was over he tried to kiss me and I wash just hurt that I didn’t let him, then he said he wanted to start out as friends again and build it up, but I said I couldn’t just be friends – he took this as more rejection. For the last 4 months he has been trying his hardest to earn back my trust for almost dumping me before, and I have made him work hard for it, a mistake I now regret because he got sick and tired of trying, I know I treated him badly and when he took some time out to ‘see if he could forget the bad feelings i caused him’, i bombarded him with texts saying how sorry I was. About 4 days ago I pushed him for an answer and he said nothing had changed, that my messages had given him clarity because they came too late and I asked and asked and he was forced to say he never wants to see me again ever.. My question is, I have since been to therapy and done a lot of thinking – since this has been about a month coming, not just 4 days – and have really gotten to the bottom of why I treated him that way and it wasn’t his fault, I have written like 6-7 pages about it and why I felt how I felt and how I take full responsibility, I feel like he should really know this before I take a month to try and re-talk to him because he will not be interested at all.. He moved on from his last girlfriend very quickly because he had me as a friend, and similarly, now he has a new friend he hangs out with all the time who is a girl. I need him to know I’ve seriously thought about it, not just in a moment of desperation.. Even if it doesn’t mean we get back together, he’s an incredible person I just need him to know I wasn’t always like that and Im working on a change. Also it is my birthday in 2 weeks and if I start NC i feel like if he is slightly less angry than he was before, he may text me and I want to say thank you.. I am trying to give him space because I bombarded him before, but I don’t want him to think I’ve given up or that I’m not seriously sorry for how I acted and that I can recognise this entire thing is really my fault.. Should I send him the letter now or wait until he has cooled down more, because in a month if i send it then, it won’t be a fresh start, it will be me revisiting all the things I did….. helllllp

admin

May 20, 2014 at 6:28 pm

Sounds to me like he was trying to get you back but you kept rejecting him and he started losing hope.
Lauren

May 21, 2014 at 8:17 am

I know!! And now I realise any problems I had with him before aren’t really important, he is an amazing guy and I tend to push people away to see if they will stay and its messed up and everything but Ive changed, I haven’t seen him in 3 weeks and I’ve seen a psychologist and I just want to apologise… but he won’t speak to me and Im sure this new girl is just helping him get over me please help please I need him to not hate me and to understand I didn’t do it on purpose or to hurt him
admin

May 21, 2014 at 3:59 pm

Ya but the more you push at this stage the more you may push her further into the new girls arms.
Lauren

May 18, 2014 at 4:34 am

Also he posted one gif set of John Mayer singing Neon on his tumblr, I don’t know whether I should apply that to me, since the next day he is letting his new friend who is a girl, take pictures of random shit on his phone and post it to instagram, so I know she knows his code even though he says they’re just friends they’re together every day and he pays for her food and they go out to cafe’s for lunch or dinner and shit, don’t ask me how I know this but he isn’t making it public knowledge, except for these photos with stupid hashtags that I don’t know whether they’re meant for me to see them and be more heartbroken or not, I’m here writing him 5000 word emails about the flaws in my behaviour while he is off everyday with this girl he says is a friend but he ‘wants to be alone’, also I was really good friends with his mum and I want to call her and speak to her just to see if he is happy, maybe she will help, I know it sounds stupid as I write it but i keep thinking I’m over it but I need something to change now, I can’t eat or sleep, I get sent home from work, meanwhile he is off going shopping with his new girl friend.. And I know its bad because he had me every day to go shopping with him that when he left his old girlfriend he didn’t give 2 shits and didn’t respond to her ever again….. :'(
admin

May 20, 2014 at 8:52 pm

Sounds like there is a big double standard here to me.

Feeling worried

May 15, 2014 at 1:27 pm

My ex and I broke up a month ago. I haven’t said a single word to him since the breakup. I’ve seen him around a couple of times and I just turn my face or pretend I haven’t noticed him. During no contact he hasn’t tried to speak to me but has posted a couple of things on Facebook about “exes”. In the past week I’ve been running into one of his good friends and we’ve hung out a little bit at uni. Yesterday, I walked his friend to his class and it turned out my ex had that class and he saw us (I really wasn’t expecting my ex to be there). I hung out with his friend again today, it reallly isn’t on purpose, it’s just he’s a nice person. I’m worried my ex will see this as some pathetic attempt to get back together or make him jealous? (It isn’t!). Should I avoid his friend?
Darren

May 9, 2014 at 1:32 pm

So my boyfriend and i have been dating for a year and a half , it wasnt anything official , because we are both still in the closet and trying to come out, everything was going ok we did occasionally have fights from time to time , he was very understanding and he was always there for me . Then one day i started complaining about all my problems he just stopped texting me and then on the Monday he said he never responded to any of my texts because he spent the night at another guys house. That kinda broke me inside and he said he is telling me because he cares about me. Which left me feeling very confused , he said he didn’t want to break up but i acted on emotion i was very hurt and he didnt want to speak to me as often , he said he was stressed and too busy and he started switching his phone off. I freaked out and told him i loved him and i kept sending him text for 3 days eventually he got irritated and told me i was acting like a psycho and when i told him that he doesn’t care and that he didnt love me anymore he said he can’t be with me when im on this state of mind and then he said he would never stop loving me and that he does really care about me. I did text him over the weekend telling him not to sleep with another guy and saying that i loved him and that i needed to speak to him. He never replied and i guess i felt really confused and so i deleted his number off my phone to stop myself from texting him , i deleted all the messages and i guess its been 4 days since ive spoken to him. Im worried that he might forget about me completely he assured me that he would never lead me on but now its all up to him and its just a waiting game now. It kinda drives me abit insane and i kinda regret doing that what do i do now ?

admin

May 9, 2014 at 3:46 pm

Why didn’t you make it official?

A year and a half is a long time.

Robin

May 3, 2014 at 8:13 pm

I’ve complete the 30 day NC rule which linked in a month since we split. I text on day 31 with an good ole days text… However, I got no response to be honest I am disappointed that he didn’t considering he said I could contact any time I wanted but makes me doubt now that he hasn’t told the truth about anything. I know you say to wait a week… But what type of text send now?
I’ve commented on why he doesn’t contact during no contact if you need my brief story plus I have emailed you with more detail.
Bridget

April 24, 2014 at 6:21 am

My boyfriend and I are going through a rough patch because we will be attending different colleges and might be forced to do long distance. He hasn’t texted me in a while and when he finally did he said he didn’t want things to end but it was just too complicated if we stay together. I tried calling and texting him but he won’t answer and keep saying he’s busy. I really don’t want to lose him because i’ve never been more willing to put on an extra effort to maintain our relationship, even if it is long distance. what do I do?
R!ley

April 16, 2014 at 3:32 am

Okay so my boyfriend is 1 year younger than me and EVERYONE makes fun of us. You know how middle school is… yeah everyone knows his weakness, lies. So they make up lies and rumors. And he NEVER belives them cuz he knows that they are just rumors.Well he belived one and when i kept telling him over and over that it wasnt true, he ignored me, and called me a liar!He broke up with me 🙁 How do i convince him that the rumors were a lie, and i want him back and still love him?

admin

April 16, 2014 at 4:21 pm

Middle school?

Seriously?

1 year younger thats nothing.

caia

April 16, 2014 at 2:12 am

Hey! So my boyfriend broke up with me 2 months back for no specific reason! I did the NC for 30 days. He contacted me during my NC and asked me if I was okay. I responded. It was his birthday a week later! So I wished him. We had a lil convo and it ended. 2 or 3 days later I tried doing the “good old days” thingy by calling him! I asked abt a place. Where he took me and he told me that and after that I haven’t heard from him. I think he started dating someone. Its been 16 days since I last spoke to him. What should I do now?

admin

April 16, 2014 at 4:21 pm

Why haven’t you tried advancing things?
caia

April 16, 2014 at 5:21 pm

I really can’t think of anything! I want to text him again but I really don’t know what to say!

Texting Games

April 16, 2014 at 1:46 am

So, I am talking to this guy, right? Have been since middle of February. At first, the honeymoon stage was great (as expected). Then it got to the point where he wouldn’t text me as often. So I would text and then still make him chase me after I read the chasing article on this website. It just kept dwindling and I grew worried. He would go from sending me 3-5 texts back to back to just one work responses, and it still is going on. He jokingly says “you’re really quiet.” and I have told him I don’t mean to be, which I don’t, but I want him to continue to chase me because I want to see if he really is interested in me. Well, last time we talked he brought up, yet again, that I have been quiet, to which I responded that he has been pretty quiet as well. He goes on to say that I can text him whenever I want, even though I have explained I don’t want to be a bother, especially while he is at work. Pish Posh he says.

Is this his way of saying talk to me more? Is he growing tired of chasing me & wants me to put in the work? I mean, I know the answers to this, but then again do I really? Even if I do talk to him a lot more, he still doesn’t reply as much as he used to before. So what’s the point of me texting him a lot more?
lilly

April 15, 2014 at 1:03 am

PLEASE HELP ME!

So i go to an all girls prepschool where just about every relationship ends in three weeks with a guy cheating on his girlfriend. to be frank most of the guys here are ass hats. i was “Talking” (aka flirting sexting etc.) with this one guy from the all boys school for about a month. we had even skyped a few times and he dropped some major hints about us dating. then, his ex (who is also a friend) broke up with her boyfriend. We were supposed to see each other that weekend at a dance, but he had been blowing me off all week. saturday came along and i was on the bus sitting next to his ex, when she gets a text saying from him saying that he isn’t going to the dance. I texting him about it and just asked him to be honest and if he wanted to keep talking to me. he said that he wasn’t sure, so i told him to think about it and text me when he knew. I was careful not to hook up with anyone that night, even though i had plenty of opportunities. the next day he texts me and says that he just wants to stay friends and i accept this graciously. no screaming or angry texting, or anything. then exactly three days later his friend starts messaging me on Facebook and flirting with me. i go along with it to make him a little jealous but not too much. then a week later he texts me hey, but i had lost my phone so i didn’t respond until today (about a week later). three days ago another one of my friends got a text from him that asked what was going on with me and his friend, and she said that we were just talking. during this week i figured that i should stop talking to the friend because it had gotten the desired result. so i told his friend that i thought that i should just stay friends with him because i had been talking to a lot of guys and i didn’t want to get a reputation. the friend said he didn’t understand and so i said that i had gotten the vibe that all he wanted was a hook up buddy, he denied this. then i thought to myself, why am i blowing this guy off for someone who didn’t really treat me that well in the first place? so i kept talking to the friend and now we are ‘talking talking’. i texted the guy that i was into back saying sorry i lost my phone, whats up? and he has not responded all day. what do you think i should do? i still really like my old guy but i don’t know if he still likes me, and i don’t want to mess up an opportunity with a new guy who treats me well (even though he went around saying that i was “DTF” which pissed me off and i think he might give me a bad rep if i hook up with him). do you think the my old guy was jealous and trying to get back into my life or was he just trying to be friendly? and what should i do if i want him back?
Wanthimback365

April 14, 2014 at 9:21 am

I’ve been in contact with my ex since we broke up just over three weeks ago, spoken nearly everyday, and when we didn’t speak for two days, he asked mr to meet him while his girlfriend was at work. We aren’t in constant contact (like I want) but I’ve given up messaging him first, I did break my promise to myself yesterday and got upset and sent multiple messages, but I’ve stopped again now…

Am I doing the right thing? Waiting for him to message me? If it gets to a month, I’ll message first. He says he wants to be friends, but doesn’t like me in a relationship way, but do you think it’s still possible to get him back? We were together 17 months
Linds

April 14, 2014 at 2:40 am

Hi,
So I was with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half and we were each other’s first loves. He broke up with me a couple weeks ago saying he basically fell out of love and that he feels that he needs to be on his own to figure out his life and what he wants to do(career wise).We we kept in touch a little.He said he wasn’t sure if he made the right choice and kept saying he missed me. After a week and a half I told him I wanted him to tell me he is sure about his decision so I could move on.Well he had me come over and still held my hand and hugged me as we watched a movie. We had a great time. I called him out and he apologized saying he was being inappropriate.He insists that he doesn’t want to be with me and that he thinks he should be on his own to get his life together.He did say though that he loves me always and forever and misses me…So while he did not blame me straight up for being a hinderance Im sure he just got fed up with the fact that i don’t have a job.Throughout our relationship he paid for almost everything.I think if his feelings for me faded at all its because he saw me as too dependent and focused on him rather than motivated to make my own money.I’m in college so its not that I’m lazy.I just have a lot of anxiety when it comes to new situations and people.I still miss and love him very much and want to be with him.My thought process is if I can get a job as well as work out and improve my self during our no contact period, he will realize that i can be independent and not in the way of him trying to accomplish things.I feel like if I’m still the person he fell in love with but even better than before he may fall for me again.Am I crazy for thinking this?Do you think it’s a good possibility I can get him back?I’d really appreciate your thoughts!