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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
Post categories
sara
February 15, 2014 at 12:13 am
I did pretty much every thing..and I got some pretty goos reaults…he syartes flirting with me. he gets jealous sometimea.. but he still didn’t asked to see me or to get a cup of coffe! i really dont know what to do?!?!
sara
February 15, 2014 at 12:22 am
btw he broke with me…but he stay talking with me..texting me..hanging out with me…but then he traveled for about 4 months and then we stopped talking to each other. .after he came back I started talking to him. and he seemed happy about it but he told me he dosent want to open doors that we have closed and I answered him yeah sure dont worry! and we kept talking for about 4months now!! and he statts showing me more interesting about me …jealous sometimes. ..btw im gone be 21 next month and he told me we’re gonna celebrated together at the same place he took me to last year..but until now we didn’t see each other we didn’t go out together! !! I don’t know what to do! ! Should I het scare coz i kinda do!
Jen
February 13, 2014 at 4:31 am
Got through NC for 18 days and then did an opening text which got a very positive response. He wanted to call me right away but I just said I was doing good, I had to go to work and then left it silent for three days. Then did some memory texts… Been going on like this for about two weeks now and he always responds positively to the memories, “how could I forget” and “those moments were timeless.” It seems to be going well, but so far I am always the one initiating. I usually text every other day or every three days, switching it up a bit. I broke NC early because he is away for two months doing work and will be home in March, and I am using TXB so I wanted to have 30 days to work up to a date. Do you think this is working, or have I potentially screwed it because of not doing the full 30 days NC?
Jen
February 14, 2014 at 3:21 am
Should I have been more receptive to a phonecall? :/
Jen
February 15, 2014 at 12:39 am
Holy chit. I just got a happy valentines day text message… I happen to know he thinks it’s a dumb overrated holiday, too… Is this good?!
admin
February 15, 2014 at 1:52 am
It’s a positive sign but don’t break dance just yet. CAlm down it is only a message but it is good.
Jen
February 15, 2014 at 2:10 am
lol roger
Julie
February 12, 2014 at 3:29 am
If after NC the first contact message is successful and it goes well, positive response and all.. About how long should I wait until sending the next set of text messages?
Jen
February 13, 2014 at 3:44 pm
TXB says 3 days after a positive response.
admin
February 14, 2014 at 2:43 am
Well, whatever you feel comfortable with. 3 days can work but I prefer to get things going faster.
Jen
February 13, 2014 at 3:59 pm
Or longer if possible,
kaity
February 11, 2014 at 1:05 pm
ive read through this alot tryin to understand it. i recently brokeup in a 15 month relationship. reason being since he didn have his licence we couldnt go out alone (now has it) it has been 2 weeks and i just want to text him and see where we stand, if were friends, nothing, something. i texted to congradulate his licence and he replied a very nice reply “paragraph” back. what does this mean. should i text him ?
( btw he still has belongings at my house should i ask him to come collect and talk then)
natalie
February 10, 2014 at 5:29 pm
I broke up with my ex almost 3 years. I still in love with him and just recently we get in touchon whatsapp only. We talked about important matter only and it was very short conversation and of course it was him who ended the conversation first. It been few days we did not texting each other. I dont have the gut to text himfirst and dont know how to talk to him. Admin, would you help me? What do I do bout this situation… I really want my ex back…
Joy
February 10, 2014 at 6:14 am
hi there chris!
i just want to ask what to do with my situation…you see my boyfriend and I broke up because he just suddenly didn’t want to contact me…we talked and he just got me hanging saying: let’s just see what happens from here. then at first i didn’t know what to react but a couple of days after that, i wrote him a letter saying im accepting his decision and i guess im letting him go…i didn’t get any response then until now i didn’t reach out to him…and it will be almost 30 days with the no contact rule…i still want him back, i love him and it just confuses me…what should i do? should i start the contact already? please help me…i need your expertise
admin
February 10, 2014 at 6:48 pm
What do you plan on doing during NC?
Joy
February 13, 2014 at 2:02 am
he actually texted me about business thing…i replied casually but i broke the NC rule 🙁 how do i reverse this? please help thank you!
Joy
February 15, 2014 at 7:19 am
now he wont talk to me again 🙁 help me…i broke the NC rule when he texted :((
Joy
February 10, 2014 at 3:32 pm
please help! i had the mistake of contacting him a whie ago and i didnt get a response :((
Nik
February 9, 2014 at 6:42 pm
I’d been seeing this guy for exactly one month. Everything was really great we had a lot of fun and saw each other a couple times a week while still maintaining our own separate interests. We would text every day. About 2 weeks in he got a huge promotion at work and started to have to work very late and then last weekend he had to work all day Saturday. We had gone out friday night and everything was great we went to breakfast sat. We hadn’t seen each other for about 5 days then he called me and wanted to talk I made him come over. He had been working late all week and had meetings all day and found out that his promotion meant he’d have even less free time and would be doing some traveling. He started with that and then went into that in the last 2 days he had just felt different and that his head wasn’t in it and he wasn’t as into it. I asked if he wasn’t enjoying our time together and he said he had fun and everything was great. He said he wasn’t sure but he thinks this is what he wants. I said that it didn’t make any sense things are great and didn’t he realize that this probably had something to do with work. He cried and said he was being honest that there was nothing with me or anything I did but that he felt it better to end things now than a month from now. I said how can you suddenly after 5 days decide things don’t feel right when they felt right last time we were together. I told him he was making a mistake and he said “maybe.” He said there was no one else and admitted that he has trouble deicing what he wants. I know he had much less time for himself his friends and adding me in probably stressed him out but I also know we were great together. I haven’t texted him its been 4 days but I want him to know that I am not mad at him and I want him back. Any advice would be helpful. I don’t know what to say to him to let him know that I am still here for him and make him realize that it was other factors and not us.
admin
February 10, 2014 at 5:42 am
So, you dated him for a month. I would recommend like a 15 day NC period instead of the 30 day.
Nik
February 11, 2014 at 6:03 am
So you think I should contact him before 30 days? I’ve been reading through your posts… when I do contact him I just don’t know what to say. I am expecting a promotion at work also, and we had talked about it. I wasnt sure if I should contact him and lead with that I got it or what. Yes we were only together a short time but as the days go by Im not feelimg any better just incomplete…even though ive upped my work outs and healthy eating that feeling inside me is still as strong as ever. The short time makes the texting rule hard also, he isnt a huge texter. I want to make sure I give him enough space. I think the timing was off with all of his work stuff but I feel we are sooo right!
Jessica
February 9, 2014 at 1:18 pm
Me and bf was together 2 years and i found he was cheating for a year i still love him and he want text or talk to me HELP ME PLEASE
admin
February 10, 2014 at 5:33 am
Did he just cheat on you once or was this a chronic thing?
Jessica
February 9, 2014 at 12:08 pm
Hey, so I completed no contact successfully, and then did the first contact text which I think went really well because he was really positive and engaging and then I said it was nice talking to him but I had to go …only about 4 msgs were sent back and forth at this point, and then instead of just saying okay bye, he said “yeah for sure have fun lol, Be safe driving today I barely made it to work because the roads are so bad lol”
I think this is a good thing probably… But I don’t know if he is just doing this extra convo stuff just to be friendly or not… Either way, so now that I completed the first part… How long until you are supposed to move onto the next text stage and then the following after and etc? Do I wait another couple of weeks before I do the remembering the good times text? What do u think?
If it helps we were together 4 years, and he broke up with me because he was confused about life and didn’t want to drag me down apparently because he knows that I’m figured out or whatever and doesn’t want me to wait for him because he isn’t done with the party life.. I don’t know..
admin
February 10, 2014 at 5:32 am
Can I ask you something.
He likes the party life right?
Well, is that something that became a big problem?
Jessica
February 10, 2014 at 5:59 am
Well no, it wasn’t something we fought about at all… He never even told me that there was this whole life he wanted to be a part of, and whenever I wanted to like go partying he was cool or we would go together sometimes.. he really used to talk to me about getting a place together and everything.. although I kind of already knew he may have felt a little like that because his “best friend” is one of those bachelor guys that parties like crazy every day and I know he plays a huge influence on him.. But this was never an issue between the two of us.. I just think reality started to set in and he began questioning everything…
I hope that helps.. I just don’t know how soon to make contact again?
I don’t want to mess this up
jennifer
February 9, 2014 at 8:06 am
ok so my ex and I talked a bit as friends after the break up for like 3 weeks I even got him a birthday gift but then realized i couldn’t deal and decided to nc him.My ex has contacted me twice during the no contact period once to ask if i deleted off a social network and the other time to just wish me a happy birthday.I also bumped into him at school twice but just waved hello and kept it moving.My question is how should i initiate contact after the n.c period? should I send a text?
admin
February 10, 2014 at 5:27 am
Yes!
I talk a lot about this throughout the site. You should take a few hours to read through some of the major guides here.
petsim
February 8, 2014 at 8:32 pm
Hello!
What if I use text: “I could really use your advice with something…” instead of “I have a confession to make…” Would it be okay?
Thank you
admin
February 9, 2014 at 4:49 am
Yup I think that would work.
Xy
February 8, 2014 at 9:59 am
Too late for me to see this . Its been a month + i didnt talk with hom but two days ago i called him and ask him if he really dont love me , he said no . He said sorry and call me do not cry .
Brittany
February 7, 2014 at 7:28 pm
So i have been going through the process of your texts, as described in the E-book, and i feel like I’m getting weird results. I successfully completed an initial text, with a positive response, and tried a confession text, with a positive response, but besides the initial positive responses, my ex doesn’t send another text. So, I don’t have the opportunity to engage in any conversation, nor end it. The initial text sequence, I did end by not replying, but I am unsure how to get more conversation out of him. With my confession text, he responded by showing I made him laugh, even asked me a question, but then just never replied. Does this mean I should go into a bit more no contact? Mixed emotions?
admin
February 8, 2014 at 4:19 am
Has he always been the type where you had to initiate?
Brittany
February 9, 2014 at 6:57 pm
Yes and no. He gets really busy throughout the day, and spaces about his phone, but when he does text, he is usually a frequent texter. I’m glad that everything has been positive, just weird that it’s so minimal with it being positive.
I just keep trying to tell myself that he’s probably getting adjusted to the fact that I’ve started trying to talk with him again, and that maybe this means he needs a little more space.
aliveagain
February 9, 2014 at 4:41 pm
This is my situation. initial text after a month=positive response (a smiley face, lol, and ty) the next day he asked a question and i did not reply. Its been a week now and he hasn’t sent me any other text. Yes he has been the type where i have always had to initiate contact. I am unsure and have mixed emotions as well. I will be following this post!
aliveagain
February 12, 2014 at 3:51 am
After five weeks I initated contact. He sent me two messages back one that night and one the next day. should I wait to see if he initiates contact since i didn’t respond to his message,” whatcha doing today”last week? I was thinking a simple msg this weekend but am worried it’s still too soon since I don’t really have his attention yet. This is the third time of this and the one month mark of no contact always worked great and we picked right up but better both times, should I wait longer or does it matter in a man’s head at this point?
admin
February 12, 2014 at 7:39 pm
No, I think you can advance the process yourself.
aliveagain
February 16, 2014 at 6:25 pm
Thursday I finally responded to his message. He wrote back very quick asking to set up a time and place to meet. I sent two messages after (one that night and the next morning) with a funny pic and he’s totally ignoring me again! just don’t get it, really!! I need a man’s brain for just one day! Nc is soo hard
aliveagain
February 12, 2014 at 3:48 am
should I wait to see if he initiates contact again since i didn’t respond to his message,” whatcha doing today”last week?w
I was thinking a simple msg this weekend but am worried it’s still too soon since I don’t really have his attention yet. This is the third time of this and the one month mark of no contact always worked great and we picked right up but better both times, should I wait longer or does it matter in a man’s head at this point?
Vanessa
February 7, 2014 at 7:32 am
Hey..
My boyfriend and i broke up a year ago but right now we are on somewhat good terms, we havnt had closure yet and were both 17. We have the same class together and he sometimes sits near me and theres this one time where he glared into my eyes as if i felt like he liked me and other times where he just doesnt speak properly or doesnt talk at all. It makes me mad lol because we both agreed to be “friends” and he sucks at communicating with me
So should i not text him for the next month? And since we have the same class together how am i supposed to ignore him if he talks to me? Should i act cold?
Mina
February 6, 2014 at 8:26 pm
So, I tried to initiate the no contact rule, but after a week and a half (and a new girlfriend) my ex showed up at my door. Ever since then, we still talk, and he still has a girlfriend. But he says things like “I will always be here for you, and don’t stop talking to me”
Confused even more. Of course I want him back, but he has already moved on..
joana
February 6, 2014 at 2:07 pm
Hi i was dating a guy for few month. At the start if our relationship he acted like he was madly in love and insisted to meet my parent but once it was done some days later he stop talking to me. its been one month now since we didnt speak. today i txt him he seems to reply n hooked. wat the next step?
S
February 6, 2014 at 8:22 am
Hi,
I wish I had read this blog six months ago, when my boyfriend of over 6 years broke up with me saying he couldn’t make any more sacrifices for the sake of our relationships, and tough he loves me love isn’t enough. We were continents apart then, and are now. It’s been 6 months, and he’s been in a relationship with a girl who’s totally not his type (I know cause I know him very well) and though we haven’t spoken (texted, mailed or called) since a few days after the breakup, you think I could text him now?
Also, a few days immediately after the breakup, he texted me asking if I’m ok, and need to talk, and I blurted out lots to him, which I now realise I should not have. He had nothing to say to it. A few days after that, he again texted me “Do you want to talk, we can be friends” and I said no thanks. Since then we have had zero communication whether on social networking sites, or on phone. He did not wish me on my birthday, which was three months after we broke up. I don’t hurt as much as I did earlier, but I love him and would want to restart my life with him.
Any suggestions?
admin
February 6, 2014 at 6:11 pm
How long has it been since the two of you last talked?
S
February 7, 2014 at 6:04 am
It’s been about 6 months since he last texted me, and I did not reply because it was small talk.
Sushi
February 6, 2014 at 6:47 am
So it means even in his birthday i wouldn’t greet him?
Anyways , is it still possible when he already has a child with her and he chooses to stay with her cause he thinks that was the right thing to do but they are not married. He said he was still confuse because he loves me too. He don’t know what to do ATM.
admin
February 6, 2014 at 6:09 pm
Yes even in the birthday.
Aicha
February 5, 2014 at 9:51 pm
Hi Chris,
Urgently need your advice…My husband left last November after he had taken enough. He always treated me like a Princess right up until the end but im ashamed to say I didn’t treat him right due to being under tremendous pressure for a long time, losing my Mum and much more. I took all my frustration, anger etc out on him. Then I made the worst mistake possible by being angry at HIM for leaving (because I was hurting badly) Things then got a little better in regards to messaging each other…One day out of the blue he told me he had been in a very bad accident and was very ill. My first thought was to go and see him especially feeling guilty about the way I had treated him even although he didn’t really want me to as he said *the time wasn’t right* Anyway I went because as he says *IM stubborn* Things weren’t too bad but he continued to give me mixed messages and it was like I was with a stranger.When I returned he called me to see if I got home safely. I was half way through talking and his phone went dead…I called back and asked him if his credit had gone. He said it had and said he would contact me when he got more credit. That was 2 weeks ago and he hasn’t contacted me. Is all lst because of the stupid way I behaved? Is there any chance we will get back together? Im so confused as im thinking if he wasn’t bothered why did he call me that night to find out if I had arrived home safely. Please help
admin
February 6, 2014 at 5:42 pm
Have you read my ex husband page?
beebee
February 5, 2014 at 8:33 pm
Hi Chris
I did the 30 day NC rule. He contacted me twice and the last time he sent me a love song. I replied after the NC period with a song which basically said in a nice way ” Ive heard everything you said, so now show me”. I promise it wasnt an emotional love song! This was about 2 weeks ago now and I’ve not heard from him. Have I messed up? Or do you think he is now just teaching me a lesson for ignoring him?
How do I follow up with this now? is it ok to send him a funny text or video (which we regularly did when we were together) or a reminder text of a theatre trip we took?
Also my friend wants me to go to a show with her next week which he is hosting. I dont wanna com across as stalkerish. Shall I go? And if I go do I try and make contact beforehand?
Please help me as I’m going crazy….
PS. Thanks for this website and your pdf guide 🙂
admin
February 6, 2014 at 5:38 pm
You are more than welcome.
I think so. Do the funny text or video!
beebee
February 6, 2014 at 10:45 pm
Thank you! He replied and loved the video. He responded within a couple hours I’m really surprised! 🙂 🙂
I’m going reply with a smiley and then go onto Stage Two as you advise in your guide (dont wanna give away the juice as everyone needs to buy the guide lol)
Do you think I should just go to his show instead of stage 2 or do both? I’m glad he’s responded but given valentines is next week I’m wary of just turning up out of the blue. The show is on Tues/Wed I think….