Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Krystal

February 4, 2014 at 4:51 pm

Hi! So I am on 4 months now with absolutely no contact with my ex after catching him cheating on me. We haven’t spoke, texted, email or seen each other. I’ve even moved 2 1/2 hours away because my heart was so destroyed. I feel it’s time for me to reach out to him and see how and if we can work things out between us. The only thing that worries me is that after I caught him cheating he never reached out to me to apologize or showed any type of sympathy or remorse. He was kind of cold. He’s a prideful man and it’s difficult for him to express his emotions so I know that has a lot to do with it. I truly love this man and I know he loves me… Part of me is afraid that he doesn’t want me back. But I’ve loved this man since I was 22 years old. I’m 30 now. I need help on what to say to him. I really do miss him and believe that we are so perfect for each other and I want him to know that I do forgive him even…

Kay

February 6, 2014 at 1:06 am

I just have one question for you, why would you want this man back if he cheated on you? Where’s your pride girl? And to top it all off he didn’t apologize or showed any remorse for his behaviour. Although you were together for a long time, it’s not too late to move forward once and for all and meet someone who won’t do this to you. You already came a long way not speaking to him for quite sometime! Give yourself another 2-3 months and your ex might simply become a memory. A broken heart can heal, but a selfish man who doesn’t express his emotions even when at fault, will never change.

Kay

February 4, 2014 at 3:46 pm

So we were getting along fine after the break up. Broke up mid October and remained close. 2 days after Christmas we had a brief conversation about playing a game together. I stopped replying, but sent a message maybe 2 weeks after. He hadn’t replied. So I deleted him off everything(because I knew he read my messages but purposely ignored em) and told him, he can either keep ignoring and to take care, or support me as to I found out I may have breast cancer(found out the results were negative last week). He, again, didn’t reply. I went NC for a month. Sent him a message yesterday, saying I randomly thought of him and it felt pretty good. Also I had something to tell him. No response.

I don’t understand what I did wrong. We had a normal, close, friendship after the break up. The last time we spoke, it was well, the usual. Then all of a sudden he just ignores me. Its tearing me apart, I feel guilty when I know I did nothing wrong. I’d rather get a “Frick off!” or “We shouldn’t stay in touch.” than nothing.

Should I try again in 15days-a month?
Jessica

February 4, 2014 at 1:32 pm

So I’ve looked at the text ur ex back page and now this one and I really don’t want to mess up first contact and my 30 days are up on Thursday (2 days left) and he has not contacted me at all throughout… He’s the stubborn kind of guy, anyways when we were together we used to joke about opening a Popeyes chicken in our city (it’s a fried chicken place) because of how goodit is and the closest one was like 3 cities away (which we would drive to to pick up sometimes), anyways since we have been broken up they have opened one in our city but in a completely different spot thatnwe were thinking that would have been brilliant!! Lol, so what I’m thinking for first contact wAs.. “Hey so I was driving down — street and I can’t believe someone took our idea and opened a Popeyes there!! Horrible location choice, our idea was even better lol!”
Please tell if this is a bad idea or if I should change it..

Linda

February 6, 2014 at 12:57 pm

me and my boyfriend of four years were known the best couple. we had so much love between us. though things weren’t that sweet all the time, we couldn’t live without each other.But 6 months ago he moved to another state for studies and has lost interest in me. he did come home once,we met but he just wasn’t too interested right after going there last month he said he is too busy to miss me. he wants to be independent and doesn’t want to care for anyone and be single. why is he doing this.. i spent the whole month crying and begging him to come back but he wont. i stopped contact with him, today is the sixth day but im confused,shocked and heart broken. what do i do? what is he thinking?

andy

February 4, 2014 at 10:33 am

Is this still effective if he dumped me because tthe other woman is threatening him that he will lose their child?

admin

February 4, 2014 at 5:49 pm

Hmmm… it can be but why would you want to get mixed up in that situation?
andy

February 9, 2014 at 1:23 am

Because I feel he still loves me…

Stephanie

February 3, 2014 at 3:24 am

I was wondering if you feel your strategies will work, if you’ve only been dating for a few months?
I have been dating a guy for a few months and since we are a little older me 38 him 43 we really didn’t establish the whole BF/GF thing. However we have been dating, texting ang hanging out etc fo about 2 months…. To my knowledge things were moving along smoothly but out of nowhere he just stopped communication. I sent one or two text over the course of 3 days but got no response and it has now been 6 days and still nothing. My text weren’t mean or rude just the casual “hey is everything ok, is something wrong etc… While at my age I do feel this is a big red flag, until now I had zero reason to believe he wasn’t a good guy. So I’m left baffled.
Your thoughts?

admin

February 3, 2014 at 6:12 pm

I think they can work.

Did you two text a lot or were you more of an “on the phone” couple when you weren’t together?
Stephanie

February 3, 2014 at 10:20 pm

We either were together in person ie… Going to dinner, out for a drink or just staying in at one another’s homes for the night. We rarely had actual phone calls and when were weren’t together, texting was our form of communication. However he wasn’t the best communicator it wasn’t unlikely for him to go a day an a half and not send anything. So I tried to accept that he was just poor at communicating or that maybe there was an underlying reason he didn’t. As I said he seemed really great in other ways, so I didn’t let it stress me.
Stephanie

February 4, 2014 at 8:57 pm

Wow He texted this today: want to apologize for disrespecting you-SORRY.
I didn’t respond as per the no contact but won’t this just make him think I’ve moved on?
admin

February 5, 2014 at 6:26 pm

No problem and you didn’t disrespect me.
Stephanie

February 7, 2014 at 6:32 am

Crap I know you’ll be disappointed in me but I guess I failed. I jump the gun without waiting for your reply SO WRONG I know.
Nevertheless I actually didn’t respond until the next day and all I said was : Thank you
I never in a million years thought to say…no problem you didn’t disrespect me. Because frankly he did so I just thought a simple thanks was sufficient. I didn’t excuse him for the behavior but I didn’t punish him for it either.
I also didn’t send anything else I have gone back to NC and I haven’t heard back. Did I royally screw up???

Jenny

February 2, 2014 at 5:15 am

Hey!

I have a quick question about the emotion you want to send in the texts. More like is it best to possibly use smilies in some of your texts? Or would that just be pushing it. I’m a type of person who uses a lot of laughing in my messages but most men I text think when I laugh it means I’m flirting which is not true most of the time. When texting my ex should I put my unnecessary lol’s aside and be more serious or should I text him like I’d normally do to everyone and include them?
Thanks!

admin

February 2, 2014 at 6:50 pm

I like smiles.

Mandy

February 1, 2014 at 7:14 pm

My bf initially asked for space but then when I reacted emotionally he ended things completely. That night and a few nights after he stayed with me. Making sure I knew how much he loves me, cuddled me, kissed me, saying he misses me. After these nights I was upset that he still needed time for himself without me and haven’t had good text conversations with him. Whenever I’ve said that I wasn’t going to allow outr love to just fade away he doesn’t say I should. All I get is that he does love and does miss me and he needs space because it’s too hard and he told himself he needed to stay strong. I miss him incredibly and I’m wondering what the chances of him coming back are?

admin

February 2, 2014 at 6:34 pm

Are you doing the NC rule?
Mandy

February 3, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Yuppers

Sarah ann

February 1, 2014 at 11:23 am

Hey chris,i have nearly finnished nc with my ex boyfriend since we have broke at christmas he has been with 2 girls since then he is in a relationship now! He hasnt spoke to me at all through out the nc i have 4 days left but i dont know weather to text him or not because he has a girlfriend? Will he bother with me? We was togethet for a year. What should i do? Thanks for the help
Chelsea

February 1, 2014 at 1:31 am

Hey Chris,

First of all, thank you so much! This site is awesome.

I just had a quick question – I have been following your plan completely, and I am almost done with “no contact.” I realize that I’m thinking a little bit ahead, but assuming I get a favorable response on my “first contact” text – would it be a bad idea to send my “good times” memory text about something we did for valentines day (because its coming up).

A little background – my bf and I had been together for around 3 years, and we broke up, not on bad terms per se, but more just because we were unhappy and in a rut. However, I know that one of his absolute most favorite memories of us together is our first valentines day – he’s a pilot and he flew me to florida for dinner and stuff. While we were dating that was always something we talked about as “the perfect date.” etc. Also, another reason I would use this text is because I am going to vegas with a group of friends the week after, so I figured that would be a good time to implement the jealousy phase.

If I was going to use this memory I have a way of making it not at all mushy – I was going to say I found a picture from our trip, how fun it was, and how I miss flying in little planes (which is what we flew). However, I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t a bad idea just because it happened on valentines. Thanks!

admin

February 1, 2014 at 6:37 pm

I would wait until a little before valentines or after it.

Shana

February 1, 2014 at 12:33 am

So the night he broke up with me, I drove home, emotional and sent him a text thanking him for being there for me and for taking care of my dog for 2 weeks. He was nice about it and thanked me for helping him, then proceeded to say that I am an amazing girl and deserve a great guy . I miss him so much cuz he was honestly such a good guy but I drove him away and now regret it. Then, out of emotion, I sent him a fail text. I want him back but I’m afraid it’s too late now and maybe he doesn’t want me back at all cuz he never responded to me.

admin

February 1, 2014 at 6:37 pm

Are you in no contact right now.
stephanie

February 3, 2014 at 2:39 pm

hey, me and my ex broke up a week ago and we did talk after he collected his stuffed from mine. we told each other that things would get better soon and he said I would do better than him.
now we not talking now, but I have the feeling he checking my facebook profile. I was wondering if the no contact rule will work and sending him a text in a month would work. please help, I’m so want him to talk to me again, because we have gone through a lot in 4 months.

sarahh

January 29, 2014 at 8:18 pm

hi…
my boyfriend dumped me over no reason, honestly i was nothing but perfect for him and i loved him waaaaayyy toooo much!! he had lost a brother at a young age, and i was always so understanding with him cuz i couldnt be rude or mean thinking that he has already been hurt. anyways soo he goes spreading shit about me, which i completely ignored and he told me that he hates me and doesnt want me in his life since he is enjoying his life and i should do the same. there was jus too much hate without any reason behind it, but everytime that we met, we would jus look at each other deep in the eye, like have those moments, but we never spoke, a lot of my friends have said that he would stare at me alot. so after 7 months he sends his best friend to talk to me and say things such as how he hasnt and would never say anything bad behind me and blabla… i told his bestfriend to tell him that i dont hate im and he now is a very normal friend to me as before. his best friend then tell me that i am not over him and i should stop lying to myself…
thats when i realised i had something in me but i couldnt figure what it was… a week has passed from what has happened and every time i remember it i get soooo excited and happy thinking that yes all these months he was thinking about me too!! so now every sad song i listen to i know that he would think and talk about me too in the past months, and i also get really happy knowing that he has taken a step to talk to me! i dont know i am just too happy an excited that this has happened.. what do you think it means??

admin

January 30, 2014 at 5:53 pm

I would start by trying to figure out the reason you got dumped.

Nina

January 28, 2014 at 8:37 pm

Hey Chris! I finished 30 day NC and texted him today. Nervracking. I was literally shaking. I sent the “I have a confession to make…” text and a minute later he replied “okay” but I was hopeful because in your ebook you mentioned we were looking for any reply at all. An hour later, I sent a text saying something reminded me of him (specific like you instruct). Four minutes later, he replied with “Usually confessions are something negative” which made me sad because I was hoping for a positive response. After that I ended the conversation on a positive note. Going back into NC for another week. Are neutral responses sort of a good thing? I’m still kinda down about it to be honest.

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:45 pm

Literally shaking… awww..

I think this is ok. Obviously not the best reaction you would hope for but it is nowhere close to the worst one.

Monica

January 28, 2014 at 6:30 pm

Today was my day to test him in conversation and it didn’t work out too well. I got neutral responses and he ended after about an hour and a half (but there were just 13 texts between us, but of us we’re taking our time to answer). Any advice on a situation like this?

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:41 pm

Just stick with it for a while.
Monica

January 29, 2014 at 7:32 pm

Okay. So maybe a few more days then another text? I think I have a good subject for it: back when we were dating he ended up getting me this ice cream one night that I wasn’t sure I’d like because it wasn’t something I’d normally pick out. Turns out it’s my new favorite and I have a pint of it sitting in my fridge right now. He was SO happy and proud of himself at the time when I told him I thought it was my new favorite flavor of ice cream. Is this too personal or is that a good one?

fiona

January 28, 2014 at 12:20 pm

hi, my boyfriend and i have been together for 5 yrs.were both 27 now. he moved in pretty quickly so our relationship has been very domestic and less honeymoon. i have a 9 yr old from a previous relationship. when we met i was very depressed and overweight. my mam had just died 5yrs previous.i got my life on track but it took sum time. im now in university, lost 4 stone and look great, we moved into a bigger house. but during this process of getting my life on track he started to turn nasty, he would always threaten to leave me and put me down. in another breathe he would say some day ill realise how bad hes treated me and leave him and this left him panicked. i helped him as well go back to uni. everything seemed so perfect he would be affectionate at times but then hed be cold and then tell me again hes only happiest with me and my son. but 5 days ago he put me down while he was drunk infront of people we know. the next morning i ended it and he left without puting up a fight. usually i would be begging him, ringing and texting. this time theres been little contact.he came to pick up something yesterday and i was calm and cool, he seemed miserable but then got offended by something i said. he stormed off and sent me a message saying “i want no more contact with you forget about the rest of my things no hard feelings hope you have a good life goodbye”. i wanted to have this no contact so he would realise how good i was and appreciate the things i did for him and respect me. i dont know what to do now. i feel like hes just going to move on and not realise how good i was….

fiona

January 28, 2014 at 12:22 pm

meant to say my mam died 5 months previous, not years

nyala

January 27, 2014 at 10:35 pm

Hey I went to a party and met one of the performers there and after the party we started texting each other and he told me I pretty and cute. We texted the next day too and then he started taking a long time to text back and then he didn’t text back at all. I didn’t text him after that and I told myself not to text him for a few days or so, but I cant get him out of my head. What should I do? Please help me!
Nyala

admin

January 28, 2014 at 6:14 pm

Are you currently doing NC?

Elissa

January 26, 2014 at 10:51 pm

My boyfriend of two and a half years broke up with me exactly one month ago. We had a near-breakup in September when he was out of state for work (It was at the start of a semester of college for me so we didn’t talk much while he was gone and things slowly began to fade between us), but we worked it out (although we stopped saying ‘I love you’)and everything was (in my opinion) REALLY good up until now (we were acting just like the ‘old’ us). Before that incident I had ALL of the power, he was head over heels for me and always talked about a future with me, after the near-breakup, the power shifted and I honestly tried (and thought I succeeded) in paying attention to things that would make him happy. He was pretty vague about what exactly changed that made him not want to date me anymore. He told me that he felt like we were more “friends” than boyfriend and girlfriend and that he thought we should break up–although at one point he said “take a break” then went back to breakup. He seemed very unsure of his actions though as he told me numerous times that “maybe in a year” or “maybe in 6 months” or “maybe in 1 month” we could try it again and it would work out between us. He texted me the day after the breakup essentially telling me how great of a person that I am and how it breaks his heart to know that he has hurt me like he has. He emphasized how he doesn’t want to push me out of his life and that he wants to be my friend. Since then, I have tried to implement the NC rule but I have found that I am not very good at it. We are friendly in texts, but he is hot and cold as to if he is going to respond or not–I know that makes him the one in control and I need to change that. I am going to start the NC rule all over now. I do have an issue though, we did not actually live together, but I did spend many nights at his place as we live about 45 minutes apart. We have only met once since the breakup and we had a miscommunication, so I brought him all of his things at that meeting, and he still has all of mine. We had set up a date recently to meet again so I could get my things, but he had a serious family issue come up (which I know was the truth) and we have to reschedule. I know because of this issue it will be at least a week if not two weeks before I can get my things–although he says he “doesn’t mind them being there.” I am so confused because he says things that make me feel like he regrets his decision, but then never texts/calls me or doesn’t respond to a message I send. (To clarify, the only messages I have sent him are something like “hope you have a good day” or are inquiring about my stuff, I never text again once he stops responding) also, he ALWAYS responds to the first text, then usually stops at the second or third. I am so in love with him and I would do anything for this man. Our relationship has always been me giving more than taking, but that is my personality. Any advice?

admin

January 27, 2014 at 7:14 pm

I understand what it is like to give more than you get in the relationship.

However, sometimes people have trouble communicating.. Do you think he has those issues?
Elissa

January 28, 2014 at 1:49 am

He was usually a VERY effective communicator (I am the one that is more guarded) but I feel like in this situation he may have held back because he didn’t want to hurt me. Like I said, he just told me that he feels differently now and that he still cares about me very much and wants me in his life, but thinks we should be broken up.

nessa

January 25, 2014 at 7:31 pm

So i have about 8 days left of the nc rule. My ex n i both decided together to end friendships on all social networks so it wouldn’t be as hard seeing the other person daily. We agreed when we are not as hurt n crazy after the breakup we could be fb friends again. (Mostly I asked for this because i went through a lot of surgeries n illnesses in the past 2 years and he was my main and only friend support system i had) Anyway, last night he asked my bestfriend how i was doing and…… IF I WAS SEEING ANYONE ELSE! 😀 ..Your work is good lol but now I am questioning if 8 more days is enough time for the 1st text. Is waiting longer a bad idea? I only ask this because a reason we broke up was the fact that he likes to go out and I am more of a stay in and chill type of gal. (We are both 21 and hes always liked his beer but now he can go to bars) Should I wait?
michelle

January 24, 2014 at 7:42 pm

Hey Chris,

I need some help my ex and i were together for 6 years we broke up 2 nights ago because we were arguing about everything for 3 months i really love him and want him in my life. We were living together however he asked me to leave . I just love him so much and i want him tp understand that . It would be nice for him to share my goofy sily times with me also what should i do?
Stacey

January 24, 2014 at 7:25 pm

Hi so my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He lives with me and we have a dog who is like our child. I have caught him cheating on me numerous times. Each time he promised me he wouldn’t do it again and that he’d change. The strangest thing is he always treats me so well other than that! As of lately, he got a new job. Starting Sunday things got weird. I was at work and he had the day off. He said he was just going out for the day and he would like to meet for dinner after work. I said sure and when I saw him he was dressed really nicely and we just went to the crappy bar by my work. He was constantly looking at his watch and then said he wasn’t hungry but it was fine if I ate. We went home and literally within 10 minutes he said he had to go to work. He left for work at 7:00pm. Same day I found out that I have a tumour in my spinal cord from the doctor. So I called him crying and he said he’d be home in an hour. He finally came home at 5:00pm. Obviously I’m upset and he says he has to go back to work at 7:00pm. So he’s claiming he works 22hour days.. He first said he was cat napping his car between shifts. He hasn’t been home all week and he told me he was staying at his parents and he told his parents he was staying at mine… Turns out now he says he’s staying at a coworkers named “Ryan”. Having a history of cheating on me I’m obviously concerned. He swears that he’s not doing it again. Even his own family thinks he is. So we’ve been broken up for a week now. We agreed to be civil and still text each other he said I could whenever. So I did and he didn’t reply and I called and his phone was on but he obviously declined the call because it was cut off after the 2nd ring. His dad asked if he wanted to go for a drink and he would pick him up at “Ryan’s” and he practically crapped his pants and panicked and said no. He is 25 and I am 21. His dad wants to call the company and offer to report them because working that much is wrong. So the “ex boyfriend” has said he wanted to meet tomorrow to discuss this. I said I’d have to think about it because I am not some fish on the end of his line he can just reel in whenever he wants. I just don’t know what to do… I feel like if I do the no contact thing then he’ll just forget about me…HELP 🙁
Amanda

January 22, 2014 at 9:58 pm

Hi im new to this site amd im seeking answeres to my situation i would appreciate any help my bf amd i were together for 5 years we have a week broken up bcuz i accussed him he was cheating i had gone through his phone and emails made a huge fool of myself to find out he wasnt we got into a big arguement to the point he told me he was braking up with me bcuz the fighting and everything wasnt healthy for us that really broke my heart bcuz he has never said anything like that to me the weekend went by and i asked him if we can talk amd see each other amd he told me he cant just yet and i asked him of it was completely over between us and he said i dont know i dont have time to be dealing with tthis its too much :,(

What do i do have i lost him forever?