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Jessica
December 10, 2013 at 9:41 pm
Hey, I was with my ex for almost 4 years. We always felt like things were good, of course ups and downs throughout. He broke up with me about 2 and a bit weeks ago without a real clear reason- just that he needs to figure himself out and a bunch of other confusing stuff and he just knows he isn’t really happy right now, I didn’t contact him for the first full week, and then texted him asking if we could meet to talk about some things, he called me to set up a day and we didn’t talk for the next 4 days until we met for lunch to talk and he basically told me that he just isn’t sure what he wants right now in life and wants to remain friends but doesn’t want the attachment and romance but apparently still cares for me but felt like he was hiding things from me cuz he was afraid of me getting upset and just wasn’t happy, and that I should basically expect that he won’t come back to me. I texted him the next day just saying what’s up and he replied a day later basically asking to use my discount to buy his best friend something for Christmas but I didn’t really reply. We haven’t spoken since then and I’m sticking to the NC for now.
Do u think its hopeless and I should just give up on him or there’s a chance? What should I do? He still wants to give me my Christmas gift and to go over cuz his mom would like me there.. I just don’t know what’s going on…
Help!!
admin
December 12, 2013 at 1:25 am
There is a chance.
But you may have to decline going over just say it’s too soon right now and makes you feel awkward b/c it kind of does.
Cindy K
December 10, 2013 at 4:06 pm
I was recently dumped, ending a year long, long distance relationship. This was one of the only relationships I’ve ever felt whole and truly happy. There was a light at the end that I could see, but apparently not him. The blow came out of nowhere with no prior indication that anything was wrong. (Lacked any communication skills. )We saw each other every 15-30 days. We initially met in Spain and continued to speak, text, skype every day up until the break up. Our distance between was far (10 hour drive) but bearable.
After the break up I indicated I would have eventually moved etc. his response was nothing a girl in my position wanted to hear. Didn’t want to ruin my life by moving in case things didn’t work out. Due to
His lack of communication we did have spats when we eventually did see each other. Also stated his past (previously divorced) ad he knew how things would end and told me he loved me but it was for the best if we went out separate ways. Wanted to be free to go wherever and The distance was too much and didn’t see the situation changing anytime soon.
It’s been almost 2 weeks and I’m slowly dying on the inside and completely given up hope that I will ever find someone and have a family (I’m 28).
How does a NC rule work with long distance relationships ? It seems there’s already that added distance there. I’m up against a bad string force of resisting to send the “I miss you” text.
fahmo
December 9, 2013 at 6:16 am
I was in a long distance relationship for past two years with a man who
claims loving me so much and I do love him too but one unfaithful day
thou it wasn’t my fault at all and no body can believe it let me put it this
way, “I chatted with another man who I don’t even know through f b
massages” but my boy changed my f.b password and read what was
there, he got so pissed off and wrote some nasty things to me in a text
and called off our amazing love . I begged for forgiveness for 3weeks and
now fed up and gave him up thou I cry every single min , I pretend to let
go of him but it hurts knowing he isn’t mine anymore. I know he feels
betrayed and cheated but I am really sorry of what I did. i really wants to
fulfil my promise of being with him till death. but he doesn’t wants to be
betrayed again. He said he forgives me but won’t give me another chance
to be his again. am really worried and confused. I really need him coz he
is the first love of my life, I rejected so many things for the love I have for
him, I don’t think life is so easy without him, we promised so many things
to each other. ..
I read this page and really need some advice.
admin
December 9, 2013 at 7:29 pm
Have you read my long distance relationship page?
fahmo
December 9, 2013 at 5:47 am
I was in a long distance relationship for past two years with a man who claims loving me so much and I do love him too but one unfaithful day I cheated with another man who I don’t even know through f b massages but my lover changed my f.b password and see what I was doing, he got so angry and abused me in a text and called off our amazing love . I begged for forgiveness for 3weeks and letter fed up and gave him up thou I cry every single min , I pretend but it hurts to know he isn’t mine anymore. I know he feels betrayed and cheated but I am really sorry if what I did to him,i really wants to fulfil my promise of being with him till death. but he doesn’t wants to be betrayed again. He said he forgive me won’t give me another chance to be his again. am really worried and confused. what can I do?
admin
December 9, 2013 at 7:27 pm
Have you read my guide on long distance relationships.
Amanda Love
December 26, 2013 at 11:51 am
Hi, Where is your long relationship guide, please?
admin
December 26, 2013 at 6:32 pm
You mean long distance?
Amanda Love
December 26, 2013 at 11:51 am
Long distance sorry.
admin
December 26, 2013 at 6:34 pm
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-complete-guide-to-getting-an-ex-boyfriend-back-in-a-long-distance-relationship/
carlie
December 8, 2013 at 8:54 pm
hi! me and my ex have knows each other since we were kids! i miss him more then anything but he told me that he was only sexually attracted to me and that he had feelings for someone else! he also said that the way i acted about a month ago turned him off because i acted “immature” at a party.he also told me i didnt get a second chance and all we would ever be is friends now. we both agreed to remain friends because we’ve known each other for so long! but i cant seem to get over him and all i want is for him to come back! is there any hope of him coming back, if so what could i do?
admin
December 9, 2013 at 7:06 pm
I think there is hope yes. Start with the No contact rule.
Lina
December 8, 2013 at 2:02 pm
I need help please.. I just broke up a week ago. We’ve been together for like a couple of years..some months back things got real crazy. He started to annoy me all the time. We had fights. He made mistakes but was sorry for them.. I got so frustrated and asked him to leave me and never contact me for good. And he left. But now I miss him so much. I know he won’t text me back again as I myself asked him not to and he is so egoistic! I texted him after a week but he didn’t reply.. what should I do?? I just want him back!!
admin
December 8, 2013 at 7:13 pm
Well have you tried NC yet?
Lina
December 9, 2013 at 7:16 am
Well I didn’t, but I’m ready to do it..I hope it works 🙁
henna
December 7, 2013 at 8:32 pm
Hey .. last time i talked to my boy friend i expressed my feelings to him in one line and i was shocked when he said that i should get rid of these feelings cause it is not a healthy relationship and we need to stop seeing etch other..my answer was you are right and before ending this i want you to know how much i think you are great and i flattered him in three lines ..he said thank you with a smiling face and continued saying that there is no need to flatter me back ..and wished me luck in my life ……We have been dating for 3 years and i know that he loves me too much and for years this love was from one side (his).. my problem is that he never expressed his feelings to me cause it is not a healthy relationship..after we agreed on breaking up for good ..30 mints later I text-ed him back saying that it is not easy for me he said it will be easy after 2 days ..ahhh ,i asked to let me see him he kept asking why ..finally I said cause I Love you and this was the first time i say that to him ..he waited 3 mints before texting back saying (thank you for your feelings ,I appreciate ,that is why you should never see me .)
i said you are right .good bye …Uhhh ,I feel like i was too fool to tell him i love you and his bitter reaction kills me every time i remember it ..I love him should I text him after a month or should I let it go..
admin
December 8, 2013 at 6:41 pm
I think its worth a try to do my method. I think you can see some success.
henna
December 8, 2013 at 7:31 pm
Did I lose him when I said (I love you)..Do you think he could be blaming himself for being so mean to me ?
admin
December 9, 2013 at 6:53 pm
If it was too soon it may have freaked him out.
aahana
December 6, 2013 at 2:08 pm
hey!
me n ma ex had a relation of 3 years and due to my academics I’m not able to give him HIS time for 8 months. our fights grew a lot. he started thinking that i didn’t want to be with him and thought that i think that he his in relation with me for being physical only…but this is not true..i lov him truly want to get him back..he even thinks that i started ignoring him..he’s 5 years elder to me..and we love each other so much that we married and have our first wedding anniversary on 15Dec.
please help.
admin
December 6, 2013 at 8:08 pm
Have you read any of the other guides on this site?
Tara
December 5, 2013 at 8:31 pm
I need help in figuring out this letter I received from my ex boyfriend it’s been 6 weeks this weekend. I have given brownies, cards, flowers apologizing, and that I love him so much. Never heard a word back until today. Here is what the letter said: dear Tara, thank you so much for the brownies left over nachos and salas, also thank you for your cards. He told me about his vacation in Hawaii it’s paradise. You asked if we can reconcile our relationship in a previous card. I believe the answer is clear that this is not going to happen. Your phone and emails continue to be blocked. I wish you all the best. I saw you the other with your sons and you looked amazing like always. Glad to see that. And while a part of me still cares deeply for you I know that this is what is safest and best for me. Again all the best jake phases. Help can I get him back am I reading into something hat isn’t there or do I have a real chance? Help. I really love him for who he is he makes me laugh, he kind and thoughtful
admin
December 6, 2013 at 7:25 pm
Have you been able to do the no contact rule?
Christina
December 5, 2013 at 8:29 pm
In need of advice ! Help lol. Known this guy for 5+ years! Very in love with him. At first I was the girl with the other bf he wanted me so bad over the years and this past year I realized I’m in love with the guy! Anyways we had some life/family issues make us get a little distant n fight with each other towards the end. He pulled away n for 3 weeks hardly spoke I went a bit nuts n text him non stop and thankfully stopped myself and did NC. I txt him the other day about a “confession” he said something back instantly! It was great, we were on good terms talking laughing flirting even sex talk and then he came over and I lost myself and slept with him ahhh! Help now he’s hardly texting as much but does claim he’s sick, I’m freaking out I hope he’s not using me which I don’t think because he was sooooo loving and seemed to miss me so much and when he got home said “tonight was great Ill talk to you tomorrow”. I know I need to be a bit harder to get right ? No sex yet again! ahh help – I totally lost control with him sexually. Hope you can give me advice! your great btw keep it up! Thanks! And also he txt me twice since being sick talking about his sickness ah what to do!?>>
admin
December 6, 2013 at 7:22 pm
Yes you do.
You are waaayyy to available for him. There is no chase.
aahana
December 5, 2013 at 7:49 pm
hey!
me n ma ex had a relation of 3 years and due to my academics I’m not able to give him HIS time for 8 months. our fights grew a lot. he started thinking that i didn’t want to be with him and thought that i think that he his in relation with me for being physical only…but this is not true..i lov him truly want to get him back..he even thinks that i started ignoring him..he’s 5 years elder to me..and we love each other so much that we married and have our first wedding anniversary on 15Dec.
please help
admin
December 6, 2013 at 7:19 pm
Sorry I am a little confused. Were the two of you married?
Magda
December 5, 2013 at 9:53 am
Hi. Unfortunately I came upon your page a little late. After being long distance for a while and mentioning how he wanted marriage and kids, I moved across country and my ex freaked out and broke up with me. Told me he wasn’t ready now but he will be in the future. Told me to forget about him for a while. I think it all felt too real and scary for him when I moved. Anyway, I sent a text saying it was painful, but I would do just that. About a week later, he texted that he was thinking of me. We have been in contact here and there since. If I’d have seen your website, I would’ve let that whole month go by without replying! : / argh. Anyway, his birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and I’m not sure if I should text him for it, or maybe text a couple days later saying happy belated? Unfortunately I saw him last week and kind of overextended myself by saying I’d take him out if he didn’t have plans. Every time I’ve initiated a text (only a couple times) he has responded positively. Still, his situation hasn’t changed and I’m left waiting for him to be ready. Not sure how much contact to have now? Should I text for the birthday? How do I move forward from this place we’re in now? Thanks!!
admin
December 5, 2013 at 7:04 pm
Have you read any of th emajor guides on this site?
Magda
December 6, 2013 at 9:35 am
Yes. Why?
Magda
December 6, 2013 at 10:09 am
Sorry just read some more. So I’m guessing your advice would be to not wish him a happy birthday on 12/18 (or Merry Xmas) and to start the NC 30 day period like, now? Thanks.
admin
December 6, 2013 at 8:03 pm
Yup hahaha.
Bry
December 3, 2013 at 11:30 pm
Me and my ex had been dating for a little over 2 weeks … Just the other day he told me that he was trying to convince himself that the feelings were still there. (Prior to that day he would tell me he loved me everyday) so I simply said “well you either want to date me or not” and he said ” I don’t think I can keep this going “and I said “then don’t… Bye” and he gave me the whole it’s not you it’s me I promise you were perfect an I was lucky to have you. I told him that it didn’t matter anymore .. And he just kept saying sorry … He said he wanted to be friends and I agreed .. I see him all the time during school.. He sits beside me in lunch and in my 5th period .. He always looks upset and doesn’t talk to me much .. But last night he told me that I am amazing and stuff like that .. I want to get back with him but should I? He told me that he still had feelings for me but he can’t date me … What does that mean? Help!!!
admin
December 5, 2013 at 12:57 am
You shoul donly get back with him if you feel it is the right thing to do in the long run.
Annabel rosepetal
December 2, 2013 at 7:57 pm
I was dating a guy for 1 month and a half .two weeks ago we got more sexual in the relationship but not sex.A few days later i notice that he wasnt answering me or texting me ( we text everyday). He was suppose to come to mine on the next saturday but couldnt . I later found
out that sumthing happen but he told me it had nothing to do with me. So the next i saw him, he was ignoring me but not his friends.. my sister talked to him and caused trouble and told him she wud tell me to dump him but i told him she was lying, later on that night he dumped me. I talk to him for like a minute the day after but that but that was it. A week later, yesterday he was flirting with me. He smiling at me and talked to me for awhile . I smiled . A while later he called me and i didnt no it was him and left it. Then he called five minutes later, i looked at him and he smiled and winked at me and i blushed and look down . This repeated for 2 more times. Afterwards he started teasing me and talking to me some more . I told him why was he calling me, he said he was bored. Like why wud a guy call his ex girlfriend cuz he is bored.and he alway use to call and wink and stuff to flirt with me . Why is he doing it a week after he broke up with me . And how can i get himbac. ( i still have feeling bout him and i hope he does too)
admin
December 3, 2013 at 7:22 pm
Have you read any of the big guides on this site yet? Or just this page?
Annabel rosepetal
December 4, 2013 at 3:58 pm
I have but i want to know if this is a sign that he wants me back
admin
December 5, 2013 at 1:20 am
It may be.. it may be. But its not like a super huge one.
Skylar
December 1, 2013 at 4:49 pm
Okay, so I was dating this guy for about 16 months. Then it started fading and we mutually called it off. But about 8 months ago we started talking and we almost got back together, and I don’t know what happened but we never did. We lost connection but I really want him back now. I texted him on Thanksgiving saying ‘Happy Thanksgiving!’ and he hasn’t replied. Was this a bad move on my part? When should I be able to text him again?
Nada
December 1, 2013 at 7:29 am
Hello Chris 🙂 I was doing the NC so well (3 weeks) when he texted me and was chatting and told me that I would be lying if I said I don’t miss you. We chatted for a while i was in control like you said and the text numbers was 2:1 then I ended the convo it was perfect felt I had him. The next week I was going to travel so I asked him if he wanted something (we always do that )for that place to open another conversation with him, the convo was good then 20 min later got a bit formal so i got sad and emotional that led me to ask him you can always tell me if you don’t want me (regretted saying that felt desperaition but I love him and i know he loves me .. ) he said a part of me loves you and want you and a part of me can’t accept what happened and he opened the topic of what went wrong and he told me he loves me to death but he was calm but sad and i can feel that , ( I did something that made him feel unappreciated ) the next day we chatted but honestly he was in control but I ended the convo .. This was 10 days ago, i havent heard from him since .. what should I do .. The problem started late October .. And it’s December now , I feel I did the nc rule great but the second text was a big fail , how can I proceed ?
admin
December 1, 2013 at 6:58 pm
Just work on getting more successes, more postive responses before you progress.
Danica
December 2, 2013 at 7:19 am
Your advice is useless, you’re not even helping the poor girl. All I see is “have you used the NC rule?” on the majority of posts. I realise you probably get pissed off at the majority of these whining girls problems but yikes, take some time to help these people if you bothered to set up a lame site.
(3 years happy relationship, browsing to feel good aha)
admin
December 2, 2013 at 7:14 pm
Sorry you feel that way. It is true that I get extremely busy and can’t give the personalized advice that everyone requires but I do try to do my best.
Hope you the best in your happy relationship!
Jessica
November 29, 2013 at 10:56 pm
Hi, umm so I met this guy a year ago n was dating his friend.. N I recently ran into him and we clicked right away. He wanted to hang out every day and I said no and stayed at 2-3 hangouts a week, everything was great the first week and a half n I was really happy and excited being with him.. A lot of the things he said makes me think he felt the same. He went on a trip on only the second weekend of us being bf and gf and came home Sunday (it was a hockey tournament) n began blowing me off Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.. I did meet with him Tuesday for a few minutes to talk and he said he wasn’t going anywhere I just need to relax but he was the one saying he would come over just to blow me off. He hasn’t had a gf in over 2 years and we had a great connection … He dumped me last Thursday in a text message.. So it was like a 2 week relationship.. I don’t understand y he all of a sudden did this .. He says he has stuff to deal with n I shouldn’t have to deal with it but I told him that’s what a relationship is dealing with the good and bad… I don’t no if he’s scared or not used to having a gf but I know he is a very busy guy .. I’d do anything to get him back but I don’t think not talking for 30 days will help because it was a short relationship.. I know I will never see him because it had been a year previous to me running into him .. We have a lot in common and I really like him! I want him to give this a chance! He is still talking to me but very little and I am texting him a lot less but I want to see him again! Advice?!
admin
November 30, 2013 at 4:55 am
Well usually I recommend a no contact rule…
KB
November 29, 2013 at 2:31 am
Hi Chris! (I seem to have misplaced my last post! :-S)
I am so confused at the moment and I dont know what to do. Last weekend I had a text conversation with my ex and I asked him if he wanted to catch up for a coffee and to give him his book back. His reply “Sure but i’m not around this weekend im currently down the coast”. I ended the conversation and said that I would talk to him later. Later that night I recieved a drunk text from him (which he never does). The next morning he replied saying “I was drunk at the time yes”,so I was just being cheeky and told him that he couldn’t handle his drinks. He then replied back saying “Nah I can handle my drinks fine”. He’s the one who was being cheeky asking when he was going to get his book back, sends me a drunk text and says “sure” to catching up with me. I sent him a text a couple of days ago just chasing up when he would be free to catch up and I haven’t heard anything since! I used the “i have a confession text” and i think he was dissapointed and was expecting something else. He has been flirty with his texts until recently.
1. Is he showing signs that he may want me back and is too scared to show/tell me? Is he playing games with me?
2. Do I send him another text asking if he still wants to catch up?
He’s soo confusing at the moment and blowing hot n cold.
Thanks Chris!
admin
November 30, 2013 at 4:12 am
NOOOOO I can’t stand misplaced posts…
1. He could be.. has he played games in the past?
2. Only if you think the situation calls for it and he won’t take the reigns and ask you.
KB
December 1, 2013 at 9:53 pm
I know right! lol
1. No he has never played games with me.
2. I ended up sending him a text saying “I take it no catch up? It would have been nice to see you :-). Would you like me to post your book instead?” He replied saying “Sorry been real busy” and then sent another one saying “What’s happening?” I replied saying “Hey not much just got home about to jump into the shower what about yourself?” To which I have not had a response. This is just petty all over a book! lol. He gives me signs that he wants to catch up but when I initiate he just doesn’t come through..
3. What is he doing?
4. What do I do from here? Do I keep texting him or just leave it? He’s just hot n cold all the time.
5. I was possibly thinking about dropping past his work next week, I have a few things I want to give him and also it’s his birthday that weekend. Do you think this would be ok? Mind you, I have completely changed. I’ve lost alot of weight, changed my hair colour etc. So he won’t recognise me.
Your advice is much appreciated Chris! 🙂
admin
December 2, 2013 at 6:44 pm
Showing up unannounced usually isn’t a good idea… it could backfire. BUT if you feel your situation needs it go for it.
KB
December 3, 2013 at 3:34 am
Backfire how?
So what do i do? Do i still keep texting him? Or do i leave it and wait to see if he does something?
How do i get him to initiate a meet up?
Thanks Chris! 🙂
admin
December 3, 2013 at 7:46 pm
Haha one question at a time please.
Hmm… I have written guides that have answered all those questions.
KB
December 3, 2013 at 9:54 pm
Believe me i have read all your guides haha…. But i just dont know what he wants and i dont think he does either! I basically just want to tell him out right that he is being an ass lol….
I miss him and spending time with him, can i just tell him that?
Thanks! 🙂
admin
December 5, 2013 at 12:52 am
You know, sometimes the issues just lie with him and no matter what you do you just have to wait until HE is ready to go back.. If that makes any sense.
KB
December 5, 2013 at 2:04 am
Yeah it does… but I’m not willing to wait for it. He’ll be ready when he’s ready but by that time it maybe too late. He gives false hope and I’m sick of dealing with it. I’ve decided, as hard as it’s going to be to just drop it. I’m not going to pursue him anymore. I did try but all I get in return is scraps and whilst they may not be HUGE signs that he wants me back, I know that he still wants me – the are signs there, I need something more a bit more concrete… If that makes sense.
Honestly I’ve thought about sending him a text telling him how I feel and just leaving it at that (saying my peace), it won’t be a nasty one or a heartfelt one. I don’t expect anything from him and how I see it is that I have nothing else to lose.
admin
December 5, 2013 at 6:39 pm
Well, if you feel yhou have nothing to lose then go for it.
BUT I would be shockd if it worked.
Lottie
November 28, 2013 at 2:51 pm
Will the NC still be as effective if you made the mistake of (before finding this website) going through the bad cycle of needy and emotional. Also does it have a chance If you have said to them you won’t be contacting them. Thanks!
admin
November 29, 2013 at 1:51 am
Yes it can be effective still
Worried
November 28, 2013 at 7:10 am
Hi so my ex bf and i are both 18, and had been going out for almost a year. It was a very rocky relationship, we fought a lot, mostly because i always got immersed in a fight and thought it was the end of the world. In the end it was always me texting him first, and i would get angry for him never making an effort. He initiated the break up after a big fight, and then we mutually agreed on it. But i missed him and kept wanting him back. Its been a month, we are now at a point where he is torn about us getting back together or not. I dont know if he believes me when i say it will be different, i have changed. We still talk a lot and hang out, we act like a couple. Any suggestions for what i could do to influence his decision to taking me back? Do i keep talking to him, or leave him for a while. He’ll probably find it weird if i dont contact him, but what if it just makes him forget me? He is making the decision end of next week
admin
November 29, 2013 at 1:38 am
I think you do leave it for a while…