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Alicia
November 17, 2013 at 10:31 pm
Me and him were together for about 6 months. I made the mistake of trying to be friends with my ex once and had very small communication with that same ex again months later. That ex was someone who was on and off within a year. My ex was the one person in the world he didn’t want me talking to but I didn’t realize that until he clearly told me 2 months before he broke up with me. I pretty much lost his trust which caused him to fall out of love with me. I changed my actions those 2 past months because I wanted to prevent him fully losing trust in me and a breakup, but it wasn’t enough to keep his feelings. After he broke up with me, one week later I wrote a letter telling him I’m sorry and at the end said “If you still care about me the slightest bit please reply” I received nothing back. 1 week later I texted him asking if he read it and he said he only read some of it and words on paper means nothing, so then that day I forcefully talked to him in person to try and understand the full story of why he broke up with me. It’s been about a month since the break up and I’m still having nightmares about him, I’m eaten in my regrets and I have no idea what to do with myself. I have to walk past him at least 6 times a day in school and we have one class together. He ignores me completely, and haven’t said one word to each other since. I’m still utterly in love with him but have no clue how to get him back. I would love to invite him to MonsterJam as a Christmas present but I’d be me and my parents and I only have a month until I get those tickets. I need advice, I’m confused. I was his first REAL love and he was the first person to treat me perfectly and became my other half.
admin
November 18, 2013 at 6:03 pm
Well, maybe you can still take him. Maybe you could shorten your NC a bit.
ana
November 16, 2013 at 4:32 pm
My ex and I have been dating for at least 6 months. We’ve always been on and off. In the beginning our relationship was great, we hung out everyday, we always spent time together and so on. But everything changed when he moved. He’s in the military btw. But he’s not that far from me, maybe about 35min. We live in Germany. One time we broke up for atleast 3 weeks. I was so hurt, to where i cried everyday. I never understood. He would short text me and not care about anything. I then apologized for something i really didnt do, just to get us back on track. I kept asking if we could get back together, and after some days he said yes. But then when we got back together he started being short with me all the time, he would never text me back, nor call at night. He would talk to someone else for atleast 2 hours on the phone at 11pm and just ignore me. And i already knew it was a girl. He told me it was a friend. it hurt really bad. Then his friends told me that he was cheating on me, leaving the club with some german girls. I think i had a mini heart attack. It hurt. i then called him and broke up with him. i havnt talked to him for 2 weeks, after that he called and said he wanted me back. And of course i took him back again, but i told him that he needs to stop doing what hes doing. And now, two weeks ago, we break up once again. I broke up with him because he was talking to some other girl. And i kind of regret breaking up with him because i love him so much, and i didnt want it to end. I just wished that he would call or something. Last week i texted him and told him that we had to talk. And he asked if i was pregnant. And i said yes. And he told me that he wasnt ready and that it was all on me. I went all the way over to his base on a train to talk to him, but he was ignoring me. He went out that saturday and came back to his room very late, so i figured he was sleeping at some girls house. I was so hurt that i couldnt take it, so i took the train back home that morning. While i was on the train i wrote him the longest text message i have ever wrote in my life, i kept writing and writing. Basically expressing my feelings. Not understanding why he has to hurt me the way he does, when i have NEVER done anything to him. I have an iphone so my phone would say that he read the message but didnt reply. And i wrote him so many messages and called him atleast 21 times that sunday. And each time i called he would hang up, and i would keep calling, but he keeps hanging up. Then monday comes, and im still calling him, then finally at 8pm he texts me ” leave me the f*ck alone”. That was the trigger. that right there just tore me apart. That hurt so bad i couldnt even deal. ive been crying EVERY DAY since. and i mean everyday. i’ve been thinking so much. and what if i am pregnant, then what? he doesnt want anything to do with me :'(. i know we always broke up and got back together, but what if this was the last time? What if he is actually done with me? what if he is talking or dating someone else now? I am so depressed and havnt eaten at all, i would cry every day its like i cant go a day without him because i am so in love with him. Now i blame myself for breaking up with him, because he was talking to another female. But this is like the 100th time he’s done this.Its like im sad when i was with him, and im so hurt when im without him. Why cant he just admit that he was wrong? Or talk to me? Its killing me and i cant take it. i really need to know if he’s never going to talk to me again after being so annoying, and if he found someone better.
admin
November 16, 2013 at 11:16 pm
Maybe he is too proud too.
Scarlet
November 16, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Me and my boyfriend were together for 3 months or so, not long but I really had a thing for him. Throughout the relationship he would flirt with other people, and then sometime twords the end he stopped talking to me, then the night of the break he held my hand and “cuddled” with me, but when I acted kinda touchy, due to the knowledge that he was going to break up with me (He had told everyone BUT me) That night, after the sudden romanticness, he ended things. He has been going through some tough times recently, with an almost death in his close family, and getting in trouble with people. I still very much like him, and can’t find myself getting over him. He texted me and asked if I was doing okay, and I replied with short answers to the two text conversation we had. I hadn’t read this article yet, so I was confused. I would very much like to get him back, even though he played me the night we broke up, so he could be the first one to do it. Do you know what’s going on in his head? Help!!
admin
November 16, 2013 at 10:32 pm
Maybe he had some commitment doubts or he was scared to take the jump?
Jill Johnson
November 15, 2013 at 7:49 pm
He broke up with me, I did no contact for 5 weeks (3 of which he kept liking ALL of my facebook and tumblr stuff and messaged me a few times, but then suddenly stopped two weeks ago). I’ve done a couple short contacts, but it is mostly neutral, though he responds quickly and usually with questions back. He’s never liked texting due to past trauma. What should I do?
admin
November 16, 2013 at 8:31 pm
Give him a bit more time before you reach out.
Marinaa
November 15, 2013 at 4:00 pm
Well…just wanna know what u think about this…
Me and my boyfriend were in a relationship for nine months before our first break up and it was because I was coming to Hong Kong ( I live here ) and he was staying back in India (he lives there) , he broke up saying “your going far from me and I don’t think this relationship will work that way”… I said “all right as you wish”. I wasn’t the type of girl that would cry her eyes out for a guy . When I came here in Hong Kong , I didn’t contact him for a while and somehow he added me in his Facebook and sent me a msg saying “call me….. ” so the next day I called him , we talked for a while then he said he missed me and we should start a long distance relationship… Again I said okay sure ..
We got together again and after some time we broke up, reason: he couldnt concentrate on his study ..yup..!! Okay then I said alright
All that time I was feeling nothing, I really loved him but It didn’t mattered we were together or not cause we still chatted and talked on phone all the time, so it was fine but then he told me there’s this girl who like him and thinking he should give her a chance and know what? He actually asked me for my permission, again I said okay I don’t mind , but that very first time I minded but I never told him that.. I was so hurt but I didn’t cry and he introduced that girl to me and we became friends (she didn’t know I was her boyfriend ‘s ex) but after sometime my ex told her about it and everything was actually going fine for him.. but not for me.. I never let him know that and he thought I was very happy, to get over him I started dating another guy ( I HAVE TO SAY THIS… I lost my virginity to him ) my ex always told me he loved me even after he had girlfriend. Not to hurt my ex I didn’t tell him about the new guy and virginity thing..but stopped talking to him for a while ( cause my boyfriend told me to ) after two weeks he messaged my friend, asking for my new number.. she said she don’t have it yet.. so after a few months I messaged him in whatsapp .. he was so happy that we talked for a few minutes and then he told me he wanted me not his girlfriend and said he will break up with her and stuff…I was shocked but very happy deep down but I was also guilty (for the virginity thing) I didn’t tell him that ( forgot to tell you that I broke up with my boyfriend just because I wanted to talk to my ex ) (my ex was way more important to me than my boyfriend *honestly * ) after some time of talking to my ex, he asked me “are you virgin?” .. I’ve lied to many people, I can lie to many people but never to my ex.. so I told him the truth , and he was so angry.. I’ve never seen him that angry in my life before , he called me a bitch, he said he trusted me and said he’s still virgin just for me and said he can never even think that i could do such a thing to him . I kept apologizing but he won’t listen, I said that I didn’t cheat him cause I wasn’t even in a relationship with him but still he was very angry.. I kept saying sorry and stuff
..one thing for sure he never ignored my messages, he was very angry but he always replied my messages and Yeah this was the very first time I cried for him or for a guy… I love him a lot… And it was my fault then after he got a little cool he said he’s not going to break up with his current girlfriend, I begged him to love me the way he did.. he said he love me a lot but he just can’t get his heart to take me back , I cried for days but I couldn’t feel better, we still chatted, but not the same as before. And then we Fought again over something stupid, he said he will block me, I said fine do it but he didn’t, he kept saying this for days but didn’t and finally he did but after someday he unblocked me ( from whatsapp ) we chatted again and had a fight again after a few days and this time I blocked him it’s been six days now but today I unblocked him after reading this, just wondering if he will text me but I’m going to apply the no contact rule.. if he message me, I won’t reply him
Do you think I did a good thing unblocking him and not messaging him?
Please comment on my not very good lovestory…
In case you’re wondering, our on and off relationship is going on for three years now and this is our actual break up…even if we’ve broken up before but I was never hurt this much and never cried for anyone… I really love him and can do anything to get him back… Please give me some advise if you may…
Thank you very much!!!!
admin
November 15, 2013 at 8:23 pm
Have you tried a NC yet?
Marinaa
November 16, 2013 at 1:46 am
Am gonna start now…
TC
November 15, 2013 at 2:37 am
Great site. Thanks
My ex just text me. ” My friends say divorce is 75 percent”
What do you even say to that? If anything.
admin
November 15, 2013 at 6:43 pm
I don’t get it?
Is that a random text?
TC
November 17, 2013 at 6:59 am
Yes, it was a random text. He was talking about getting married in Feb/march this past year. But then he ran again. The two times we were together in 3months He kept saying I don’t need anyone.
Thanks again
admin
November 17, 2013 at 8:28 pm
Sorry about that 🙁 He definitely has some commitment issues.
TC
November 21, 2013 at 4:33 am
I keep asking what the next step is mad what do I do….and you keep ignoring it. Is there a reason you are not answering?
admin
November 21, 2013 at 7:15 pm
Ignoring you? This is the first time I am hearing of this…
I am confused. I have been answering everyone and I am just now getting this comment.
What do you need help on? Next step after what? I can’t find your other comments.
TC
November 17, 2013 at 8:15 pm
By the way. I didn’t even say anything about needing anyone. He would just blurt that out.
TC
November 15, 2013 at 12:29 pm
I didn’t answer, an hour and a half later. He wrote. It’s sad. Still haven’t answered.
I should add because of Sandy we ended up living together for 6 months. He eventually left because I wouldn’t tell him where I was going one night. It was a weight watchers meeting. He has a 3 year old son I was never permitted to meet. And would and still does go over his exes house every Thursday from 3:30 to 8 to spend time with his son. Every time we would get close emotionally, he would run…he openly admits this. I think if I met his son, his ex would make life miserable for him. The funny thing is him and his ex were only together for 6 to 8 months total….but she does want him back. He left my home for good in May. We went 3 months with out seeing each other and the longest we have gone with NC is 2.5 weeks. Help! :). Thanks
admin
November 15, 2013 at 8:05 pm
Well you need to last longer than 2.5 weeks.
Kitty
November 14, 2013 at 4:49 am
My bf and I broke up 3 weeks ago- he broke up with me. We live together and own our home. We work together, carpool together and did everything together. We went to visit his family for 9 days and got back about a week prior to our breakup. His whole family loved me (or so it seemed) and they all asked him when we were getting married and having babies etc. on our last night there we got into a fight and he brought his family into it. It was very embarrassing for because It was my first time meeting them and I wanted our fight to be private but he ran out and told his whole family what was happening. Btw they all speak Spanish and I don’t so I was already very outside my comfort zone. All seemed to be fine when we left but he seemed colder than usual after. I won’t lie and say we had a perfect relationship, we really didnt. He has anger issues and isn’t affectionate and I love affection. Not to mention we spent 100% of our time together in and outside of work. I know he loves me a lot because he was the one always talking about marriage and babies and buying the home was his idea. A week after we got back from vacation I asked for affection and he told me he didnt want to give it to me anymore and he was done. We had a big fight and I begged him to stay. He ended up going to his friends house for the night and said he would think about everything and he would come back the next day. The next day he texted saying he was unclear and he wouldn’t come home til the following day. That day he texted me in the morning saying he really needed to talk and to let him know when if be at home. I took several hours to reply and he made it seem very urgent. Once I finally texted back then he said he wasn’t coming home again and he was still unclear. (I should mention that he didnt show up to work for those few days either) finally that following day he came home and said he was done with me and we should sell the house and sell our car and e was asking for a transfer to another location within our company. (He has been impulsive his whole life and has always run from things he isn’t ‘happy’ with instead of realizing the common denominator was always him) he took more of his things and left again. About a week later I sent him an email saying how there was no closure and we had a home and pets and we needed to have more than just ‘we are done’ because I didn’t understand where the sudden change came from. We hadnt bought a home together because we thought we’d break up 9 months later we always talked about being together forever. He replied to my email and said he wanted to come over and talk that Saturday. I had plans for most of the day so I said no and he asked if he could first thing in the morning so I finally said ok sure. He came over first thing and we talked for a while. He admitted he ‘did lots wrong’ in our relationship but wouldn’t be specific he just wanted to make sure I knew what I did wrong. We left it agreeing we would let time solve all and we would try going out for dinner a couple times or movies- whatever- and see if we can just have that spark again and maybe we just needed time to miss each other. We hugged a really nice feeling hug and I had to run because my friend was there to pick me up. He ended up staying at our house all day eating and hanging out, made sure he left things out so I would see he stayed. we didnt talk a oit selling the house or anythinf we had both agreed we would give each other space then reach out to each other and hang out at some point soon to get our new friendship started. he said he didn’t wanna move back in right away but we wokls figure things out as we go. that was a week ago on this past Saturday. The Tuesday following he texted me askig me to bring a few of his clothes to our work for him because he had to go in and help his old employees out. He was there 2 dys for about 2 hours each day. I haven’t reached out and neither has he and I’m not sure how long to wait to reach out. I want to give him his space since for 2 years we robbed each other of our independence but we have so much on the line I just don’t know what the right thing is to do here. Help?
admin
November 14, 2013 at 7:25 pm
TEll me what have you utilized so far? NC? Text messages? ETC?
Kitty
November 15, 2013 at 1:01 am
I’ve not contacted him for 1.5 weeks however he has to come into the office that I work at and sees me here. I don’t engage in conversation at all I just reply when he said hi. I have not texted I have replied the couple times hes contacted me about bills or house stuff that needs to be dealt with. As I mentioned, we own our home we have bills we have pets so it’s not possible to go a month without being in touch. How do I make someone miss me when there’s constantly stuff tying us together?
admin
November 15, 2013 at 6:36 pm
You may have to do a limited contact rule then.
Bianca
November 13, 2013 at 8:36 pm
This is very helpful but I didn’t do research till today and it’s been a week since I have not talked to my ex im the one that cheated and I already apologies and call and txt now I’m made cause I wished I’d saw this and try the no call no txt rule but now that I’ve done it what can I do now and at this point he has not responded I even emailed him how I feel about him and how I’m sorry. Is there any hope with winning him and his trust back? Plz help me
admin
November 14, 2013 at 6:27 pm
Sure there is! Have you done NC before?
Phi
November 13, 2013 at 4:58 pm
Sorry, Chris
I think i went back to being controlled by my emotions. 🙁
I did the 30day No Contact Rule, sent the 1st text, sent the 2nd text. After 2nd text, we kissed and etc. He is seeing someone else BTW(which you don’t like coz that means he cheated on hid gf). After we did all that I started being what you call a “text gnat” texting him throughout the day and with no replies from him. 🙁
What do I do now? Did I mess chances of being with him again?
admin
November 13, 2013 at 9:14 pm
Don’t apologize it is completely ok. Its normal to be controlled by emotions.
Just slip back into NC for a little while and get your bearings back.
sarah
November 13, 2013 at 4:57 pm
this is a case where the guy i was dating disappeared for 3 months, he recently texted me to apologize for his disappearance (i did not text him for 3 months, i gave up), then he said “let me make amends?”
after which i responded, “what do wanna say” “anyway i’m over it. if you’re truly sorry, i’m all ears”.
AND HE DID NOT RESPOND. WTF?
he texted me but did not respond.. i dont get it. what should i do?
admin
November 13, 2013 at 9:10 pm
Well I guess he isn’t sorry. What a jerk..
Cheryl
November 13, 2013 at 9:58 am
hi, I was with this guy early of this year for around 2 months but I ended things because I felt insecure as he was such a ladies man and also because my course was too hectic. I couldn’t balance my studies and the relationship. However he continued to come after me and I didn’t really do anything about it although I did fall in love with him more during that time. But in the last month things got so much better with us. we weren’t bf and gf but we were together and out of the blue a few days ago he started being different and I couldn’t get him to talk to me about it. In the end 3 days ago he told me that it is because he has feelings for another girl now. He said that he still likes me and sometimes he feels like he still loves me and other times he doesn’t. He has also mentioned that his feelings for her is increasing because she is with him frequently. THe thing is I want to be with him but he doesn’t tell me where he will be. He said I still have a small chance but how do I pursue it? He said he thinks I deserve better and because I didn’t handle things well last time I was treating him abit mean. If I try the no contact rule doesn’t it just makes things worst? He still talks to me and he is the one who initiates the conversation. But the thing is how do I handle it? What should I do to get him back? I’m afraid if I waited too long i’ll miss my chance
admin
November 13, 2013 at 8:13 pm
Its a very good sign he is initiating the conversation.
Mayb eyou can try some type of mini NC rule.
Anne
November 13, 2013 at 5:47 am
After breaking up with my boyf I went straight into nc, blocking everything. After ip the breakup he told me thanks for doing it it was the right thing to do etc.
I’ve sent a great reminded text just shy of the 30 days, as my gut told me it was the right time. So far have no received a reply, it’s been one night. How do I proceed?
admin
November 13, 2013 at 7:58 pm
Well if he doesn’t reply wait a week and text him again unless he does respond to you in that case you can reply.
Princess
November 11, 2013 at 9:01 pm
Hi, my bf who was first my friend and after a couple of months of developing a mutual feeling to one another he then told me that he would be ending the friendship and will be taking the relationship to the next level. at first he was so afraid to admit and to go beyond the friendship zone because he said that he don’t want to end the friendship and that he might hurt me or things like that… i told him that in a relationship everyone can get hurt and not only a girlfriend or boyfriend relationship.. so when we had our team building in some island in the Philippines he confess his love for me and that admitted that he really likes me and he goes crazy every time i ignores him at work.. i was so speechless then but he planted a soft kiss on my lips i was in shocked that was my first kiss.. he said he can’t help it anymore and the more we get closer the more he wanted me to be his girl so badly…so i was just smiling and just enjoying the feeling..he hugged me so tight that night and bliss. it was really one of the most happiest moments of my life because i know for myself that i like him too..but i’m just not admitting it to him.. so we went back to the real world and he constantly text me and still every after shift and every time we go home… he is always making sure that i arrive home safe and he will never sleep until he knows that i’m already home. then June 27. 7 days after that get away from Zambales Island ( a nice place to visit here in the Philippines) we go to their place because he asked me to,, he said that he will just say something and so we can bond together.. we’re not yet BF GF… and then we were sitting just beside his bed and suddenly he held my hands and told me that he’s sure and that he will not miss the opportunity to tell me how much i mean to him that he Loves me so much and that he wanted to formally court me..(even though what he’s doing even before for me is like courting me already because he’s always making things for me) but going back to the story.. he told me to look into his eyes so i can see what he really feels inside.. and that he wants me to see what he says is something true.. he was just holding my hands and his eyes are twinkling i can say..he’s really so in love… he was smiling at me genuinely.. he was a nice guy.. i will never liked him if he wasn’t.. he has a big heart and also a very good friend,,again i was speechless at that time but i manage to say a word.. i did asked him..” are you sure?” he said with conviction.. “yes i am” i will never tell you if i’m not.. he said as well i may not be the perfect bf for you and i’m not promising anything at all but i will try to prove to you how much i really love you..then he asked me again.. do you love me too? i was so happy that time and i couldn’t help it anymore.. i really do love him.. but i was just not letting him know of my true feelings for him.. because like him i also don’t want to ruin the good friendship we have build when we first became team mates 3 months ago before i said my biggest “YES”.. so i said yes i love you too.. and he was just smiling and he said he can’t believe it.. everything was like a fantasy. i’m filled with joy.. he kiss me again but the kiss was much sweeter this time…it was not too long but i felt it..right.. then he stares at me smiling saying so you’re my gf now.. i said at first that i don’t know.. and then he asked me again..i said maybe but i was still smiling.. and then he said smiling back as well.. but then i said yes..yes..yes!!!
and we are so happy..
the rest of the days was so perfect.. we go out every after our work with some of our team mates,.we normally go on eating and just ransacking one of my team mates apartment and will spend an hour there..just talking things about anything, work..insights… and i was able to introduced him as well to my family and they get along well together.. their kinda close already.. although he lives far from where i live.. he was able to manage to come every once in a while and also send me home after work sometimes if he has lot’s of gas..sometimes his insisting but i am telling him he don’t have to because i’m also concerned about the money he will be spending just to send me home safe.. but according to him.it’s o.k. with him and that i not need to worry.. sometimes i let him do that..i often cook food for him.. so we can have something to eat every lunch..or break… we are always so happy we argue sometimes but tolerable.. but there’s this one thing about him that he said he wants to be honest with.. before we became bf gf. he was not in a relationship for a year and 3 months… then i came into the picture,, he said that he have changed a lot and that he might not be the type of guy ( the sweet guy) i would’ve expect.. i told him i do understand.. because he said that he was once hurt by his ex gf..( oh by the way he was my first bf) i told him i will understand that i am not expecting too much.. for we just started a relationship and we’re still trying to build this and also still trying to adjust to one another,, yes.. he is not so sweet but i appreciate when every time we’re at the office since we are always beside each other.. he will just suddenly hold my hands then kiss it. and sometimes when we’re walking in the hall just after we had eaten lunch he will grab my hands and he will hold it..i understand that he is not the type of guy who will go on a PDA ( public display of affection) well..we have the same insight about it,, so that’s fine.. but when we are together sleeping he always wants me near him and he wants me to be lying in his arms…he just wants me close to him and he always like brush my hair because i told him that i easily fall asleep if someone plays with my hair..he’s always doing that every time we sleep together..we can just like stay hugging each other and we just enjoy the moments.he says i love you ..every after work he will lead me to where i can ride cab home and he always kisses me goodbye. most of the times before we sleep we will talk things that we wanted to do..insights and all,we give time to talk about things like at work..things we want to have and want to do, doing that makes us more closer…there was a time where he spend 5 consecutive days because his car was bump when he visited me.. so i even accompanied him going to the police..we filed a case i have never left him..in any single day during that time when i know he needed me…then we had this one fight wherein i told him that i’m feeling his taking me for granted.. but he said that he is not and that he keeps on saying sorry..if he’s making me feel that way.. i know that he is the type of guy who don’t normally engaged himself in texting even his mom is complaining about it that’s why his mom told me if i could text her if his son was already at the office just for her to know that he arrived safely…so i still understand him.. then it was our 4th moth together he was at my place we spend our time together.. he even greeted me.. happy birthday because ( here in the philippines some couples say it’s their b-day together on their so called monthsary) then i suddenly saw a text message on his phone.. i’m actually not the type of girlfriend who will actually dig or look for his phone.i always want to give privacy… it was just that i saw his phone on my bed and he was out and i’m supposed to give it to him for there was a missed call and one text message coming from the same person.. the bad thing about us is that i was not able to have the chance to meet all of his so called close friends also because of our schedule.. we are on a graveyard shift and some may not be available for a get together… in short, schedule problems..so then i decided to text the person but i told him that someone did texted him.. but when he saw the name he just said that it was his brother’s classmate and that it’s one of their close friend,,i didn’t believe him,, why would a friend call him and at the same time text him to wake up..?? nah! so i ended up saying that i’m the gf and what does he want from my bf.. and my bf said to me to stop and that he will no longer text that girl.. he said sorry to the girl that he will not text her anymore,
then i thought it’s over..he went to the bathroom and i actually stopped already.. but when i was busy fixing that clothes he will be using i accidentally saw another phone on his bag and without thinking back,,i just don’t know what happen. i took the phone open the inbox and the same name shocked me.. same girl on his other phone.. and some of the messages,,the girl is really flirting.. she sends messages that he wanted to know more about my bf and that maybe they could do something about i don’t know.. what she’s talking about and that she can’t review on her exams for my bf is such a good destruction,,nah! then i was about to hid the phone and the thing that i saw.. but it was too late, he already saw me.. and i just asked him Why? right there and then my teardrops fell and he said that yes he was texting the girl and that he liked her.. i asked him if he love the girl he said no.. but the thing that i’m also confused was i’m the one who’s supposed to get mad at him… more but it seems like he is the one who has the intense emotion of being angry,.. he said he will stop texting the girl and that what he did was he erased all the numbers associated to that girl and that he really don’t care and he’s not afraid of losing the girl… i don’t know what to believe anymore to be honest..
so i still manage to fix myself we drove off to work but before we reached our workplace we argued..as in argued and he has to stop the car a couple of times just for us not to be involved in an accident..then he decided to broke up with me.. of course i said no!..i said that i’m mad at him but breaking up is not the solution to our issue.. then we go straight to their place..and i’m still trying to change his mind of not breaking up and end the relationship.. i told him that we can still make things work… it’s not that i will tolerate him doing things like that but i wanted to know the reason behind as well why he did that to me..something happen to us during that night.. he even washed my clothes..so i could have something to wear the next day when we come back from work and we have a lot of explaining to do.. i thought we will be o.k but no we’re not.. he talked to my Team leader ..and my team lead as also concern to her team asked him( this is actually from my team leader, as he spoke to my ex bf) if he really loves me.. or if what he has for me is just a friendly love.. and the answers she got from my ex was that he really loved me but he needs to end the relationship for all the wrongs he has done to me. when i had my talk to my TL i just cry and cry.. i really don’t know if i can still continue to work..but i tried to calm myself for a couple of hours..and went back to work which my team lead understands.. then we weren’t talking in the next days.. it was really devastating for me because we broke up on our monthsary and 3 days after will be my birthday..i really don’t know how to celebrate now…i still talked to him i still text him but not that much as he said he wanted to be alone.. i even asked him to spend celebrate my birthday together..and he even brought me home.. there we had our heart to heart talk why he is doing this.. he said that he wanted to change and that he has done so many stupid mistakes to me.. he said that he know that he shouldn’t be doing that to me but he’s still doing it,then he’s crying .. we are actually crying both of us…i saw sorrow in his eyes…then i thought that i could handle it.. that’s what i thought.. the same day…at work place night time already.. since were on graveyard shift.. i asked him to go on lunch with me but he keeps on ignoring me already.. i’m so uneasy so when we had our lunch i go to his station because he no longer sit beside me..and asked him if he can go on lunch with me.. but he said he will just stay at the parking lot and that he will just sleep and don’t have an appetite to eat.. i asked him if i can go with him and he said yes i can go with him.,. there i still tried to asked him again..why he is so tough.. why he can’t give our love another chance,,, and it really annoys him.. he began to become angry and i don’t know what to do anymore,..we went off the car because our 1 hour break has ended already but when i walk, he started his cars engine and i know he will leave,,i stopped him and stand on his way then he gets out of the car and he walk with me. he said he’ll follow he just don’t want to be with me.. and when i followed his instructions.. i never looked back because i thought that he will just be behind me.. but he was not there i already arrived on our station.. but a couple of minutes pass he’s still not back.. so i decided to come over to my Team lead and asked her if i can go out.. i went straight back to the parking lot only to find out that he was no longer there,,he left.. i was so confused and numb that very moment.. he just left me and that i feel so alone during that time… i informed his mom. i called his mom and told her that his son was gone and that he was really angry and that he might be heading back home and his mom confirmed that she was surprised because my ex texted her that he will be coming home early and that he called and was really angry.. the next day i texted his mom to ease up what i’m feeling and that also to get answers from a mother’s perspective.(being the mother of my bf basically )we talked and i was really thankful because she have wasted her time just to talk to me.. and i appreciate it cause i know that they are concern as well as parents..we ended the conversation saying that she’s at my back and we’ll just have to leave it for now and she’ll try to know what my ex is really up to.. because she said that my ex is not opening anything when it comes to relationship..but he was very close with the family and i became very close to their family cause they often see me.. and they were also shocked because according to them.. my ex have not spend a single night on any of his ex gf.. but with me he even stayed for 5 consecutive days…so they were also shocked about the break-up. that day his mom said that my ex was already at work i was already decided that i’m not coming for work but when i learned that he was there i decided to go…only to find out that he left about 20 minutes ago.. i checked it again on the lady at the parking lot… it was so sad..for me when all i had to do is cry alone..so i texted his mother and asked if i can come over their place so i can just talk to his son.. she said yes.. so i got the courage to go. even if i know that my ex will not like the idea…but when i arrived. he was AGAIN angry,. shouting at me and asking why i’m there and that i should go home now because he will not changed his mind..he said that what should i needed to hear just for me to get out of his life.. he said that he don’n love me anymore and that it was not the girl whom i saw on his phone.that made him broke up with me.. and that it was a week ago his feeling confused already.. he wants to continue he wanted to be sure of his feelings but he did not tell me and that he did tried to work it out himself but maybe it just didn’t work.. and that he’s doing it for me.. because i don’t deserve that kind of treatment…but in front of his mom he said that he don’t love me anymore and he will not change his mind.. i was deeply hurt because the break-up was a rush…we were just celebrating our monthsary and he just told me he love me..then suddenly he broke up..i can’t believe the things he was saying to be honest because he shouldn’t be angry in the first place i should be the one for he cheated on me.. and he is the one who broke up with me… but it seems like he was saying all the things that could hurt me…then a few days after… i saw him in the office he was already rendering his immediate resignation…i talked to him for the last time.. and our talk was a bit o.k now he was angry at first but he mellow down… i started saying things like i will no longer insist what i want for if i insisted we will just clash and end up fighting.. he said sorry that he quit on me..that he really wanted time and that he really wanted to be out of the commitment..for he thinks he’s still not ready when he entered ours.. that he thinks that he might hurt me again…he even said that it’s up to me if i will delete his number but my number he said he still has,,,he hugged me…and he was looking at me with sadness in his eyes…( i forgot to mention) days after he decided the break-up he’s still reporting for work,, but he actually isolate himself.. he no longer talk to any of the team, he will just talk if someone ask him but he no longer join our circle of friends…and that also made me feel bad during those times because i don’t want to see him like that… then 2 days after i saw him again he was signing his clearance.. for exit interview for the hr.. he approached me and asked me where’s our team lead ..and casually i just said that she’s here.. and he said that he will just wait outside.. i so want to hug him he looked very exhausted,,but i did not bother..he was there i can see him on my peripheral view but decided to concentrate on what i’m doing.. i had my one hour lunch and i heard from one of my team mate that he was no longer there on our bay… i became sad again ..i know i will never see him again…but luckily i went up since i forgot something on my table.and i still saw him..he was there,, i decided to approached ca
sually asking what he was doing ( he’s actually filling out a form) he said dryly,,”clearance” and then i turn my back on him and i heard him say why..but i just said nothing and i walk away..i go downstairs where i can see from a far the people coming in and out of the elevator..and only 5-6 minutes after i left him upstairs i saw him headed towards the parking lot..with no emotions on his face…i know that may be the last time that i will ever saw him… i still manage to send him the last text message…i said ” take care” but i did not receive any response…
it was only after that i was able to find your site and read all of your advice.. i know i have a significant way why i want him back..not only of the fact that i still love him… but because of the options you have on your book..basically…now i’m religiously following the no contact rule… i’m not hearing anything from him,..it was really upsetting and i’m thinking a lot of things but i’m beginning to follow your advised of becoming a better me…i’m just a bit worried that he no longer have feelings for me.. and that will make it really hard..but i’m really determined… i know and i feel that what we had was not just for the sake of gf bf thing.. it was real..and i know that he really did love me..do you think i have a big chance of winning him back,???
admin
November 12, 2013 at 6:41 pm
Well, you did it!
Today we have a new record for longest comment ever at 4011 words :).
I know you are worried about him not contacting you during NC but that is why I wrote this: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-male-mind-during-the-no-contact-rule/
Randy
November 10, 2013 at 2:30 am
Hello:
My boyfriend and I have broken up several times. I initiated all break ups.
I tried no contact but always cave and reconnect with him. Currently we are occasionally texting. This time I fear that despite some positive changes I’ve made in my life that I’ve lost all chances to be with him again. He claims he wants to be friends, but is very distant. I can’t and don’t blame him. Despite this I still have hope for us. My question for you is, is it too late to use the NC rule?
Thank you
admin
November 10, 2013 at 9:47 pm
How long did you do the initial NC the times you used it before?
Sally
November 9, 2013 at 8:49 am
What if my ex boyfriend and I have been “dating” per say about three weeks after we broke up. Still weren’t back together and he made it clear we were allowed to see other people. He would tell me he loved me and I would almost feel him coming back again. I don’t want us to turn into hook ups I want a committed relationship like we had. We were “dating” for about three weeks now. Broke up a month a half ago. I want to use your plan so ultimately new can get back together so I have started no contact. Is it too late for your plan since we have been hooking up after the breakup? And my biggest question is the last thing he said to me was just relax your stressing me out yes we are still friends and I didn’t reply. In no contact do I not reply to when HE texts me. I know he will. So I just start ignoring him for 30 days without explaining? Never reply even if he asks why I’m not talking to him anymore?
admin
November 10, 2013 at 1:04 am
Pretty much. Pretty harsh huh? And yet it works.
Sally
November 10, 2013 at 5:45 am
Should I end it with something that will make him feel like crap for the upcoming nc? Like “I give up” or “I tried” so those are the last words to him until nc is over so he thinks about that until we talk again? Or just out if the blue start ignoring him
admin
November 10, 2013 at 9:57 pm
Just out of the blue start ignoring him.
Marthe
November 8, 2013 at 9:53 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago, and all i do is think of him. i miss him so insanely, and i miss doing all the things we used to do together. Right after we broke up, like the first week, we texted a lot, and he was really sweet to me, and told me he loved me and missed me. But i don’t know what to do anymore, because he´s giving me such mixed signals. One day, he is texting me first, and the next day we don’t talk until late at night. I know i can´t to the NC rule, because iv´e tried that already. is there anything else i can do that would help get him back?
admin
November 10, 2013 at 12:11 am
Why can’t you do the NC rule?
Mel
November 8, 2013 at 9:58 am
Me and my ex were in a relatship for 4 years, he broke it off due to me not trusting him and he felt he had changed. Id did no contact and after the 30days I mesaaged him apologising for everything je replied saying he hasnt been in contact as he didnt want to give me the wrong impression. We spoke for a week then he text me saying leave me alone and delete my number, a so called friend had told him my plan to win him back now he sees me as an attention seeker and is now dating another women. Please help how can I get him back now???
admin
November 8, 2013 at 7:02 pm
You messaged him the wrong way after NC.
Aimee
November 13, 2013 at 8:08 pm
H Chris. I am now thinking of sending my first text message to my ex boyfriend after 5 weeks of NC. Do you think this will give me a positive result?
“Hi, there’s no need for an apology because we had great times shared together and I have no regrets. Take care.”
I really hope you can share you thoughts. Thank you!
admin
November 14, 2013 at 6:18 pm
No, I don’t think it will.
You need to go with something very general, interesting, but very general and NOT about your relationships.
Cher
November 8, 2013 at 4:15 am
Hi Chris! Thank you for this awsome website, You really helped me understand men…lol anywayz, I’m almost done with the NC with my ex…However, I have learned from my friend that he changed his number for some reasons…Lol i know it wasnt because of me because i didnt bug the hell out of him after the break up. My question is…How do I initiate the contact, what do I say? because he doesnt know that I got his new number from my friend.
admin
November 8, 2013 at 6:51 pm
Do you have any other way of contacting him? Email facebook?
Cher
November 8, 2013 at 8:09 pm
Ok i dont know if he deleted his fb or he blocked me…lol i have said some hurtful words to him when we broke up. Email, He hardly use or check his email…should I just tell him that I got his number from my friend when i txt him? Do u think thats a good idea?
admin
November 9, 2013 at 11:54 pm
Not a great idea but hey sometimes you have to do these things to get in touch.
Phikz
November 7, 2013 at 5:05 pm
Hi, Chris
Thanks so much for your guides. They are really good.
My boyfriend and I broke up in March, in June I discovered that he was dating someone else. While I was waiting for him all this time.
I was an emotional wreck and crazy when I found this out, I started texting, emailing, calling him and begging him to come back to me. He told me I must leave him alone.
That is when I discovered your page, I then implemented the 30day NC and completed it successfully.
I sent him a text last night saying:
“I just had a steak at this other resturant, it made me think of you. I know how precise you are on how your steak should be done.”
He then replied in the morning with:
“Smile, thanks. Hope it was delicious.”
What does this mean Chris, is it a positive reply from him? Should I text him again or in a week?
I know you must be very busy answering everyone but I would appreciate you reply greatly.
Thanks,
admin
November 8, 2013 at 5:28 pm
I consider it a positive reply!
And yes, you should text him again but I say 3 days.
Phikza
November 8, 2013 at 6:43 pm
Thanks, Chris
Next text : Should I go down the memory lane…for example, remind him of a movie we both watched and both enjoyed?
admin
November 9, 2013 at 11:43 pm
Yes but make sure HE enjoyed the actual experience.
Phikz
November 12, 2013 at 3:39 pm
I messed up after the second text. 🙁
He asked to come visit me and I was OK with that. Now we ended up doing more than kissing. He is still seeing his other girlfriend.
Is there still a chance for me and him after what we did?
admin
November 12, 2013 at 7:47 pm
Hmmmm… yes but he seems like a jerk b/c he basically cheated on his gf.
cheyenne
November 6, 2013 at 4:47 pm
So me and my ex broke up a year 1/2 ago. im crazy for this kid still. The brake up is still touchy for me. i broke up with him due to rumors that werent true. But i miss him like hell. i kinda went crazy when we broke up and told him i hated him and texted non-stop. hes dated many people since the brake up and i have dated one other guy. but my heart keeps going back to him. He did come around over the summer and kissed me telling me he loved me and wanted me. then he stopped talking to me and had a new girl a motnh later. but he comes to my aid when im crying over him and he knows i still love him but trys to avoid when i want to talk about us. or ask his feelings. Whats going on? Does he still miss me even? how do i get him to speak to me about us.? Can i still get him back?
admin
November 7, 2013 at 4:59 pm
Sure you can but you may have to do a NC rule.
cheyenne
November 8, 2013 at 4:35 pm
i have done the NC rule. while we were dating other people. I asked him yeasterday how he felt about me. He said he was still in love with me but he is afraid of me hurting him again. how do i get him past being afraid?
admin
November 8, 2013 at 7:12 pm
Get him on a date!
cheyenne
November 11, 2013 at 4:38 pm
thing is hes saying hes done with people all together. He wont answer my calls or text. I see him one time during school and try to get ewhat i can outta him. I made a Five page note to him and he said hed reply but never did to the note and he avoids it.
admin
November 11, 2013 at 7:16 pm
He never repled to your letter?
cheyenne
November 12, 2013 at 4:35 pm
he says hes in the porcess to writing it. today when i saw him he was trying to find it but couldnt. he seemed in a better mood too. But my friends are telling me hes dating and talking to another girl as well. i brought this up to him and he gotten up set and said he dont cheat. and hes told me hes not talking to anyone.