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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
F.F.
November 6, 2013 at 1:07 pm
Hi Chris. About all the good memories I can think of involve dining out. Are these decent topics to craft a “reminder” text around?
What do you think of “Can I get your opinion of X” or “Can I get your help with X” instead of the “I have a confession” text?
admin
November 6, 2013 at 5:43 pm
They are great reminder ones.
Brunette
November 6, 2013 at 4:48 am
Hi Chris,
I followed your advice and sent him a my first text message after the 30 days of No Contact. The text was non-threatening telling him that I thought of him in the course of some action I was doing and it made me smile. But he didn’t reply!!!!
Before the 30 days, there was no break up.I just stopped all contact when I felt he was starting to lose interest and he never tried to communicate during the NC. Apart from some disappointment, I feel good about myself, because I think I did all the right things and I am worth so much more that what he is giving me. But I am starting to consider him in a different way.
My questions are:
1- Do you think I should try with another text after a week or two?
2- Do you think I hurt him in any way and he might need more time? Or he had really lost all interest in me and was glad I disappeared from his life?
Thanks
admin
November 6, 2013 at 5:28 pm
1. Absolutely!
2. He probably feels hurt no matter what.
Brunette
November 6, 2013 at 5:35 pm
Well…he did reply 🙂
stlr_grl
November 8, 2013 at 6:58 pm
Hi Brunette! I went through something very similar! I broke up with a guy because he seemed like he was losing interest or at the very least, not giving me what I deserve. I am commencing the NC period, so we’ll see how it goes. I would love to know how your situation works out! Take care 🙂
Yil
November 5, 2013 at 5:26 pm
After 3 years on and off me and my boyfriend broke up. We been officially single for a week & half and he told me that he did what I wanted which was for him to get off my lofe. That I got too comfortable and this time he wasn’t coming back. He told me that unless its something positive that I should stay of his life I don’t know what to do I’m heartbroken and I want him back pleaseee help
admin
November 6, 2013 at 4:32 pm
Have you tried the NC rule yet?
avastika
November 4, 2013 at 5:46 pm
hi..me and my bf have been dating for one and half years,and from past 4 to 5 months he is telling to leave him :'(..he spoke very bad words with me but stil i went behind him kept on texting him..since our religion is different he says he can’t leave his parents..b4 he told me that he will convince his parents bt now 🙁 he is not even trying to talk..i don’t knw wat to do…plzzzzzzz help me…i want him back
thanks 🙂
admin
November 5, 2013 at 4:55 pm
Have you tried the no contact rule yet?
Jacqueline
November 4, 2013 at 3:00 am
Hey chris,
Me and my bf hav been tgt for 5yrs and this is the second time we have broke up. Its been 1 month plus since we broke up. During this period i would text him, meet up for dinner occasionally. He still replies me and says ok if i ask him out for dinner. But when we were tgt, he seldom initiates a text. Then is the NC rule gng to work if i start now? I still love him and i will miss him. Help me please!
admin
November 4, 2013 at 5:36 pm
I can’t guarantee it will work 100% BUT it will definitely help!
H.B.
November 3, 2013 at 6:42 pm
My ex and I met on a night out just over four months ago, we got together and we’re pretty much inseparable for three months until he went back to uni. He’s been back there for a month, first of all things were okay. Then he confessed he wanted to kiss someone (but he didn’t) obviously I was feeling a bit rubbish about it all, he’s told me how much he loved me and how much he’d never do anything to hurt me. On the Thursday just gone he was on a night out as was telling me how much he loved me, and wanted to be with me etc etc. Friday he came down, had excited texts from him and everything, had a nice night on Friday then Saturday he woke up and said “I don’t love you anymore, you’re my best friend” apparently it happened over night, although he was talking to me about having kids with me (eventually) an hour before. I told him to get out immediately, he stood there looking lost saying how he knew it would be the last time he saw me, and how he wanted to hug me and I just chucked him out. Since then, nothing. I’m so confused as to what happened, I want to give this another go but I don’t know how to go about it. Any help would be amazing, please.
Thanks.
admin
November 4, 2013 at 4:54 pm
Well have you ever implemented anything like the no contact rule before?
Celena
November 3, 2013 at 5:29 pm
I was in a 6 month relationship last year with my best friend. After 4 months or so, he came back from a state competition really weird and after a week, he finally told me that he isn’t sure if he like another girl and me at the same time. We figured that out eventually but it was just never the same and I kept getting the impression that he wanted me to break up with him so he wouldn’t feel guilty. At the end, I did. Its been 5 months since then and 3 weeks ago, he told me that he still likes me, but he just needs to focus on his SATs and doesnt want to be in a relationship until March. I said sure and we’ve been in between friendship and something more ever since then. Just last night he called and sounded really down and kept telling me that I shouldn’t like him so much and that he doesn’t want to be guilty for hurting me again if it doesn’t work out. He made the analogy of having one of your loved ones lying in bed hooked up with machines, the only thing sustaining their life. He said that even though he doesn’t want to let me go, he also doesn’t want to hurt me in the future, so he is choosing to “stop the machines”. I told him to stop his nonsense and that I had my own choice. After an hour of this, he told me to forget everything he said.
My question is: should I wait it out with him until March and what brought the whole thing on? He was fine a day ago… what is he thinking?
admin
November 4, 2013 at 4:44 pm
Definitely try the no contact rule! I think that is the first thing you should do.
Nada
November 3, 2013 at 1:54 pm
Dear Chris
Thank you for the amazing post!
I’m currently on th NC stage , his birthday is within a week and I’ halfway through NC 🙁 , what should I do ? I feel bad not sending him a bd messege.. Should I call? text ? send a simple text? Or Get him a gift ? Don’t know what to do 🙁
Thankyou !
admin
November 3, 2013 at 6:21 pm
I would not send him the BDay message at all.
Emma
November 3, 2013 at 1:01 pm
Hey Chris!
well I was reading your other article, ‘Get your Ex Boyfriend to speak to again’, well my ex boyfriend and were dating for three years and he ended it because he needed to “focus on school” but it really was another girl but anyway he blocked me on social networks. On Twiter he blocked me but he can still see my profile but he has to search my name to see my profile. Do you think he looks my profile up at all? I did (finally) finish the no contact rule; I read what you said about the text message he just HAS to respond and that was ” I have a confession to make…” then I read this text message article and I’m just a little confused what to say like do i say after the hour is up after that message and him answering should i say ” Look I’m really sorry I yelled at you and I wanted to apologize for that” or no I’m confused. BTW this is what I said to him and I feel bad about >>>the stars are his name i just blocked out>>>>>>>>Hey,I’m not trying to bother you or push you away but honestly, ***** if you are really going to act like this toward me after three years and all we have been thru just goes to show that you never loved me or cared for me at all. You said you wanted to ” focus on school” which is understandable but what does that have to do with us or us having a relationship?? My point is…you & I both know that’s not the reason for this and I really just wish you would be honest. If you like someone else, want to see other people or just want to be single in highschool to not be ” tied down” just say that because ignoring me and blaming school and everything else is just plain immature it’s not like we were just boyfriend & girlfriend we were really close friends too. I don’t get it…. I guess MY biggest mistake was believing you when you said you loved me cause the truth is if you EVER loved me you wouldn’t be ignoring me and dealing with me this the way you are. well if you would answer it would help so much thanks!! 🙂
admin
November 3, 2013 at 6:20 pm
Oh, you need to have something planned like “thing x reminded me of you.”
Emma
November 4, 2013 at 11:44 pm
i don’t know what you mean..im sorry if I’m bothering you
admin
November 5, 2013 at 5:33 pm
You aren’t. Whats confusing you?
Emma
November 5, 2013 at 8:01 pm
i was going too text this to him today
ME: I have a confession to make
HIM: his response
ME:
what is my confession I’m puzzled ob this part
admin
November 6, 2013 at 4:49 pm
Something non controversial but nice.
Emma
November 9, 2013 at 5:48 am
I recently found out my number is not blocked and i was also looking at your page on how to contact your ex and i tried the letter. this letter was very heartfelt,strong and straight forward (I finished my no contact period) i mean i can’t reach him any other way so letter was just a choice. would you like to hear the letter?
admin
November 10, 2013 at 12:57 am
Can you get him through email or Facebook? Whatsapp?
Emma
November 11, 2013 at 4:38 pm
unfortunately he doesn’t use Facebook,i don’t know his email and he doesn’t have whatsapp. Is there any hope?? Like we haven’t really talked the last time i saw him was on halloween because he was over his cousins and his cousin lives on my street. he seemed pretty positive and happy, but i still feel like he likes the other girl(but this girl is going to go out with this guy at her school and mind you that she goes to a different school then my ex and i) Recently my ex retweeted a picture and it said ” When you realize you’re attached to someone. well this is going to hurt like a motherf*****.”like is he attached to me? is he attached to her? is he mad she is going out with this other guy? like idk I’m confused and he always favorites,retweets,and likes all her statues. like honesty i thought he really loved me, then all of a sudden he said he didn’t love me anymore. Like i really don’t know what to do anymore…. i do still love him…and obviously i miss him but how can i get him back if his eyes are set on another girl he knows he doesn’t have a chance with and yes i know guys want what they can’t have. i just don’t know what to do anymore…. please help!! is there any hope? we went out for three years and all of a sudden he doesn’t want to love me anymore i have tried to follow some advice but i don’t know if it applies and i don’t know how to apply it to my exboyfriend
Emma
November 12, 2013 at 2:09 am
Do you think this can be repaired? will we go back out? I understand he needs space but i feel if i do give him this i feel he will lose feelings for me if he hasn’t already. like when we were together he was always so romantic and caring. what do you think i should do?
admin
November 12, 2013 at 7:04 pm
I think so but in the end the ultimate decision is up to him.
admin
November 11, 2013 at 7:13 pm
Sure there is hope but hope doesn’t mean you will succeed.
Emma
November 5, 2013 at 9:38 pm
so i just sent the “i have a confession to make” but i don’t know if he blocked my number too:(
admin
November 6, 2013 at 4:58 pm
Hopefully your number isn’t blocked.
DJ
November 3, 2013 at 1:51 am
Me and my ex of 2 years have been to hell and back with one another but we know each other like the back of our hand. We stay out of contact for months at a time but one of us always ends up texting the other or calling. It’s like no matter what we can’t stay away. But now he’s dating a girl that he cheated on me with. And even though it’s wrong he still tells me he loves me and we’ve hung out and have even had sex even though he’s dating her. I told him I don’t want to do that because it’s not right. And I’m trying to convince him to leave her since he “says” he love me. But there’s always something that stops him. He says he will and when I ask him “for good and be with me ” and he responded “did I leave you for good?” And I said no. So does that mean he won’t leave her for good ? I just don’t understand the way this dude is thinking. I’ve don’t the whole no contact shit but we still haven’t gotten back together. My family doesn’t like him because he has hurt me a lot but at the same time he was and still is like my best friend. I don’t think I can move on. He’s the person I can come to no matter what … WHAT DO I DO ??
admin
November 3, 2013 at 5:54 pm
Have you started the no contact rule yet?
DJ
November 5, 2013 at 7:44 pm
Yeah I’ve done it several times.
Liez
November 2, 2013 at 11:20 pm
Hi, my ex told me that he’s tired of me and he don’t want me to text and call. We broke up 2 months ago but don’t know the NC rule. I kept begging and texting. Yesterday he finally says there is no chance fo us and he don’t me anymore. I will be starting the NC rule today but ndxt monday is his bday, is it ok to great him happy bday? there is a badminton semis nxt wk and he’s my teammate, should I come or no t? Also can I give him a gift for her bday?
admin
November 3, 2013 at 5:38 pm
I would say no, don’t greet him a happy birthday.
Liez
November 4, 2013 at 4:35 am
Thank you. But can I give a gift? I will not show up. I will just put the gift on his table.
admin
November 4, 2013 at 5:43 pm
I wouldn’t if I was in your position.
Liez
November 4, 2013 at 9:13 pm
Im seeing that his with someone else who is so sweet, always giving him the things which I supposed to do and give. I’ve heard that this girl visit and sometimes stayed with my ex house every weekend. Does it mean, the fight is over? I mean, could the NC rule still ok to do.
admin
November 5, 2013 at 5:23 pm
NC could still work.
But NC is also for YOUR sanity.
t
November 2, 2013 at 1:07 am
ok i was with my ex for about 6m and we just broke up like tuesday..hes sending me mixed signals like he told me he was scared to be committed and he didnt like to be tied down so i started to leave and he asked me if he could hold me for the last time and of course i say yes well after 20 or 30 min he asked me if he could kiss me tellinf me he does care and a part if him doesnt want to let go but i tell him i have to leave and he doesnt want me to and i have txtd him everyday since , what shoukd i think or do does he care or does he not ?
admin
November 2, 2013 at 6:56 pm
He cares but he is just confused as a whole about what he is feeling.
Joansie
October 31, 2013 at 9:40 am
Okay My ex broke up with me in last week. He told me that he doesnt love me anymore.. But i know he still cares for me and if he cares he loves me too. I dont know how he can suddenly not love me anymore. He doesnt have a new girl.. I think he needs his space. It realy hurted me when he told me that he doesnt love me anymore but i think hes lying to himself… Im going to ignore him for a month and what must i do if he text me in that month period must i reply or ignore. I realy want him back and i know he still loves me. Please help me.
admin
October 31, 2013 at 7:50 pm
Have you read the HTGYEBB Complete Guide yet?
Natalie
October 31, 2013 at 7:11 am
Hi there, so my story is super long and complicated but I’ll try my best to do a “long story short”…
Been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, the past fee months we have been stronger than ever, talking about our future and him saying how much I mean to him and that I was his everything and his future and he loved me more than anything in this world. The last few months have also been the worst of my life, deaths in the family, car accident and so on. Looking back I was clearly way too overwhelming to him, expecting every bit of my happiness to come from him- which was unfair for him. So because of that we argued more and eventually had a huge argument over the most stupid thing (isn’t it always that way?! So frustrating) and it just escalated to a point that it shouldn’t have gone. He decided to call it quits because it was too difficult for us and it apparently was the right thing to do because he couldn’t give me what I wanted. I understand how he thought that but it wasn’t thecase at all! I tried telling him but he had none of it. At the end of this conversation he started tearing up and his voice was cracking and after he told me not to make it more difficult than it already it (I was begging him not to do it) and he said he had to go. I didn’t contact him for 4 days and didn’t hear from him either and then sent an email (it was very rational and calm…no crazy talk and stuff…just saying that we’re loosing a lot and so on). He replied and in the email said he was loosing so much, his best friend and second half and most importantly his soulmate but he couldn’t give me what I needed and he wouldn’t expect me to change. Since then I did the 30 day no contact rule, during which he deleted me from all his social networking profiles, and I have not heard from him at all. Mutual friends told me he hasn’t mentioned anything about it- just that its really difficult and then changes the subject completely. After the 30 day no contact rule I wrote him a memory text, remembering a good memory from out relationship and wished him good luck for his finals but he hasn’t replied. I have no idea why he’s doing this…its like I did something absolutely terrible to him which I didn’t! He told me I was his everything and loved me more than ever before the day before he broke up with me! So it didnt seem to be something that was on his mind for a while. I don’t understand. We were honestly 2 peas in a pod (yes we argued once I’m a while but who doesn’t?). I’ve realised a lot during the 30 days no contact, about myself and about our relationship , I know I can live without him, but I don’t really want to…all the fish in the sea are currently buzzing around me like fruit flies to a banana but I’m just not interested. I just want my best friend back, the person that made me feel like ‘that’. The way that any second half makes you feel you know. You have any input? I would appreciate it so much and will totally spread this awesome article around. Thanks so much in advance
em
October 31, 2013 at 8:31 pm
natalie, i feel like we have a similar story and view 🙁
i have 12 days left of NC. i’ve realized what i had to change for the relationship and such. but i’m scared of getting no response as well. i feel like it’s going to play out the same for me.
admin
October 31, 2013 at 7:43 pm
My input:
The fact that you realize that you can live without him is going to help tremendously. I think if you have finished your 30 days and didn’t get a response it means a couple of things.
1. He isn’t ready to talk to you yet.
2. Your text wasn’t good enough.
priscilla
October 30, 2013 at 11:47 pm
Hi so intiatial after the breakup he kept callin and i would reply like after a day or two.. Then i went on the no contact for about two weeks after wich i finally called back then he asked why did i call now and i said cos my head was clear and told him how i felt about what he did and he apologised and kept ontact but he kept updating this other girl’s picture and told me they had even had sex… He has a thanksgiving and has invited me.. Is it a good idea i go? I had decided not to so i dnt seem needy but I love him and i want him back. HELP ME
admin
October 31, 2013 at 7:18 pm
Hmmm… There could be advantages to going to thanksgiving BUT I would say only go if you feel up to it. If you feel it makes you seem needy or desperate don’t go.
May
October 30, 2013 at 10:13 pm
Hey
My ex recently went on holiday, however before going he let me know out of consideration and care so that I know where he is on planet earth…
I want to text him to say ‘hey when you’re back from Germany could you let me know just so I know you arrived safely’
But I don’t know how to go about it … I can’t find help on the Recovery Pro ebook that I purchased … and I’m slightly freakin …
I just want to know if he is alive if anything but I don’t want to sound like the sloppy sad stalker ex or anything …
I mean its been 15 days since he last informed me ‘I’m going Germany tomorrow etc…’
So texting him today (Halloween) is right in mid-no contact period… Plus it’s my bday the following day Nov 1st and I just don’t know what to do … please advise me
Much appreciated
admin
October 31, 2013 at 7:09 pm
Ok deep breath deep breath.
I think right now just stay in NC and talk to him after the 30 days.
Also, Happy Halloween!
May
October 31, 2013 at 9:06 pm
Awh thanks that’s so thoughtful ! Happy Halloween to you too !
Okay one last thing the last time I spoke to him was the 13th of this Month …
[ The 12th of next month November is his birthday …. should I break no contact then by wishing him happy birthday or is that too lame and sloppy ? lol >,<"] HELP MEHHHH !
P.S. I'm so worked up about whether he'll remember me tomorrow (Nov 1st for my bday) and have been for days 🙁 I'd so LOVE to receive a text wishing me happy birthday –
Please advise me so that I may TRY enjoy at least some of my bday !
Thanks so SO SO MUCH
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR TIME AND EFFORT IN REPLYING TO ME
Means a lot 🙂
admin
November 1, 2013 at 6:16 pm
Happy Birthday!
I wouldn’t break NC for his birthday though.
May
November 2, 2013 at 11:54 am
Funnily enough he’s birthday would be on the 31st day of no-contact
Then again I haven’t yet received a birthday wish from him today … SOo I’m guessing I shouldn’t even bother with him either ….
So what do I do ? or When do I do ?
Thanks A lot 🙂
admin
November 2, 2013 at 7:31 pm
Wait another day.
Elif
October 30, 2013 at 10:34 am
I did the no contact rule about 2 months he’s been sending me messages i never replied today im planning to tell him I have a confession but after 60 minutes what will i tell him sorry for my bad english
admin
October 30, 2013 at 9:29 pm
Make the confession something like “a song reminded you of him and he has been on your mind for a while.”
Lexi
October 29, 2013 at 10:38 am
Hey there ,
So I tried the no contact for a few weeks, and we seemed to be on okay terms, but the minute he heard about me and other men, he flipped and then began hating me saying all kinds of horrible things about me.
I implemented the no contact rule for another month, and I sent a stupid somewhat mushy text to him last week… With no response.
It’s been almost 3 months now and I really have run out of ideas now.
Suggestions?
admin
October 30, 2013 at 3:47 am
Sounds like someone who is very jealous to me.
Maybe as a last ditch effort try the I have a confession text.
Mindy2013
October 29, 2013 at 1:14 am
Hi Chris , how long should someone wait for her ex to respond after 40 days of NC? For most successful cases do they usually reply right away?
Thank you
admin
October 29, 2013 at 3:07 am
I think after NC YOU should be the one to contact them…
simone
October 28, 2013 at 12:24 pm
what if after the breakup you aready got obsessive with the texts? will starting the no contact rule possibly work even thou I didn’t start of with the no contact rule but instead constantly sent him texts? have I ruined things? he said after we broke up he will ask me out when the timing is right in th future but just cant be with me right now for reasons even I understand but now im scared I may gave pushed him away due to texting him lots after he asked for some distance.. help please!
admin
October 29, 2013 at 2:27 am
Yes, that is why I recommend NC for people who do exactly what you described.
Steph
October 30, 2013 at 3:35 am
Hi Chris,
I contacted my ex at different times for the first month of our break up. I was the one who said I wanted to break up with him then he agreed, but now I feel bad about breaking up with him and want to see if we can make it work. We still have not exchanged keys or stuff from each others houses and he still has all of my stuff in the same spot at his place atleast it was like the 1st 3 weeks of the breakup.
He said he was very hurt at the fact that we broke up and he doesn’t feel like he can be more then friends right now. I have visited him 3 times since the breakup and he has been nice but very distant and hasn’t called me first once yet. I always contact him first. What should I do now that I already reached out to him a few times. We dated for 2 years and discussed marriage. The last time we spoke in person since the breakup, he said that he still loves me the same, its hard for him also he just doesn’t want it to be confusing for us. He said he is afraid of me hurting him again also. What should I do now? Should I have the no contact rule?
admin
October 30, 2013 at 9:14 pm
Yes I think you should.