Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Mary Jean

October 28, 2013 at 8:58 am

I have officemate, we dated for a moths last february until march this year. I fell in love with him and I think he feels the same. But he never told me what was he doing, if he is courting or what. He just show up in the office after work and end up dating. He even go to our house staying until 2am and we even drink alone for a while. And then he left with no reasons, no text, even blocked me on facebook for a reason. I just find out while were dating he also date her friend who is happen to be her college friend. When I open my facebook that time, that girl leave a comment on our pictures stating her jealousy. So I ask why shes doing that. In short, they became girl friend and boyfriend. So I assume, the reason why he left me with no reason is that he has fallen in love with her friend.

I asked him but he never replied. Yeah I was guilty of text that time and sending him hate messages and blocked me of facebook.

So I moved on, I started reading books, go to the gym, go to mall, got resigned my job and find new job, resolved my acne problems, go to fun run, meeting new people and friends. I started the NC Rule for more than a month.

After the NC Rule, I decided to respond to my friends in my old job to meet them where he work also in the same company. And when I showed up, everyone was amazed on me. They said I changed a lot, as I mentioned I workout in the gym and get physically fit. And now, I’m sexy, healthy, beautiful skin, new outfit, and gain a lot of confidence as a result of trying to be on my best.

Amazing, when I’m trying to step out of the room, he showed up in front of me and he said how are you? As I heard the news, the girl she dated before is now her ex gf and found a new boyfriend. As I walk while talking with my old friends in the office he was staring at me all over and look so amazed on me. I even saw his eyes sparkling and cant even remove his eyes on me.

After a week I text him as I saw this website and follow the guide you shown. I use the confession message. But, I don’t read it in full details. So I didn’t know that I shouldn’t replied after he replied. I got mistakes on that. Yeah he replied on my confession text message and say goodbye first. But the problem is, I replied so fast after he replied. Then we meet again because I have to go back to the office for some reason. Once again, he stare at me and his eyes following me wherever I go.

But then, it was tempting to text him again. He never contact me after that. So I text him again after a week, I told him that I have secret to tell him, but this time he doesn’t reply. I made 4 text. What will I do now? It was very tempting because my birthday is coming and I’m wishing to talk to him for a peace of mind. How to make a contact when he doesn’t reply.

admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:19 am

Well, first tell me what you plan on texting him or what your texts have been like so far?

October

October 27, 2013 at 9:25 pm

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about a year,and just about a week ago he started being mean to me for an unknown reason and said he was mad at me. I’m not sure if it was because I moved recently, or what. I am , however, sure that he is trying to make me jealous. He began to date someone else when he realized I had left and cheated. I asked him why he hurt me, and he never replies. I know I still love him and I still sleep with one of his football jerseys every night. I am not sure if I should try to move on or wait a month and see what happens. Thanks (:

admin

October 27, 2013 at 11:10 pm

Just start with a NC rule!

shelby

October 27, 2013 at 4:14 am

so my boyfriend and I broke up two weeks ago. about 4-5 days later he texted me. we didn’t talk about the break up but we just talked about stuff and life just like we did when he did date. when we talked it was like nothing had changed. then another 5 days passed then he snap chatted me (which if you didn’t know is an app where you send pictures that are 10 seconds or less and they only last that long so after they are done they disappear forever.) anyway so he snap chatted me and just said hi. ever since then he has always snap chatted me first. I have never contacted him first. it has always been him. also he will creep on my snap chat lol. im really confused because he’s the one who broke up with me and idk what he is trying to do or trying to tell me. we never talk about the break up but we just talk like normal people and he still talks to me and flirts just like he did when we dated. I just don’t know what he is trying to say

admin

October 27, 2013 at 10:32 pm

Have you tried any of the NC tacitcs I have recommended?

Lina

October 25, 2013 at 2:46 pm

So I dated this guy I’m really outgoing and he is a bit quiet. We dated for 2 months but then out if nowhere he broke up with me saying he can’t handle it right now. I told him okay that’s fine. So then I started NC, three days into it he texted me saying I don’t want you to mad or upset because of me. I see him everyday in the music building if my school. I was being myself I was not sad and mopey that’s just not who I am. But I was trying to avoid him in an awkward way. I didn’t want to really see him I was still upset that he dumped me. So a week after the break up we talked about the actual break up and he gave me another BS excuse why it won’t work because our personalities are too different. I agreed to be friends with him. Now I don’t have full blown conversations with him but again out if the blue he fb messages me and like I have no idea what to do. Because I’m stuck in between steps and I don’t know how to reattract him.

admin

October 26, 2013 at 5:27 pm

Well, the real issue is that you broke NC without waiting the full month.
Lina

December 18, 2013 at 12:41 pm

Chris I honestly saw him everyday. I did ignore him but it doesn’t matter he won’t text me even I do NC. It’s too late. I just don’t know what to do anymore. At this point I want to speak to him just so I can understand what he is thinking. He literally would see me smile as a hello. Then in a couple weeks he would flat out ignore me. Then he flipflops smile sometimes ignore sometimes, and the ignore is that he looks straight at the ground. I asked a friend why he was ignoring me and they just told me he is fine. To clarify after the fb message he stopped contacting me altogether. I see the issue was I responded to his text a couple days after he sent it, but the Facebook message was a month after the breakup.

Tara

October 25, 2013 at 4:59 am

Hi 🙂 My situation is a bit different, I’m wanting someone bk that was never my boyfriend! I recently filed for divorce from my husband (separated for 3 months but emotionally separated for much longer). I “accidentally” joined a dating site (long story-but I was just browsing) and start chatting with this guy. It all started fairy neutral for about a week (no msging bk and forth) and then 1 night we just hit it off-it was amazing! Long story short, we only met twice (we both have busy lives) in 2 weeks but after that texting night we were passionately and sweetly attracted to each other. Many texts in a day/night and the chemistry was just as strong in person. We both knew what we were experiencing was crazy-sexy, intense, sweet, odd for just getting to know each other, etc. But we just went for it and didn’t hold bk.

Last weekend he went camping. I’m going through an emotionally draining move (attached to my divorce) and I missed him bad. While he was gone I texted him in a way that he often texted me, like “I miss you.” However, he was now away and thinking about how “this” was too soon for such a short period and I’m moving (further away from him) and going through a divorce. Wish I would hv known he was concerned but since I didn’t I got clingy when he didn’t msg me when he got bk that night : / He msged me in the morning and was super cool but def not the usual kind of text. Everything changed quickly. Everything stopped. Still very friendly but waaaaay less frequent and all friendship.

Last night we talked and he said he wanted things to cool down. Honestly, I don’t know if he really meant for everything to end but I spoke as if that’s what he was saying and he didn’t correct me, though he did say not to think about it too much and said his feelings were very real. He mentioned be scared of getting close to ppl at 1 point. Maybe he really did want it to cool but not end? Anyway, the talk was good and we even laughed and talked about other things and spoke about our amazing chemistry but bad timing. Unfortunately, I cried….but it was so hard not to. If he was being honest (I believe he was), we both hv never experienced this kind of chemistry before.

Are the rules the same here? Since we don’t hv a long history to hold on to I feel 1 month would b too long? I was thinking a week? Should my text b the same as with the relationship advice?

Thank you!

Sent from my iPhone

admin

October 26, 2013 at 5:07 pm

So you never dated him?

How intesne was your chemistry?

nancy

October 24, 2013 at 7:08 pm

Hi i have a very serious problem. I dnt knw how far your ideas will work… Im not doubting u but my situation is very bad can u plz mail my soon,,,, pleaseeeee

admin

October 24, 2013 at 8:23 pm

Why can’t you just ask here?

Honey

October 23, 2013 at 12:19 pm

Hi. me and my boyfriend broke up this march 2013. the last time i messaged him was on my birthday. before that month end he has a new girlfriend. the last time we talked he said he hope we can be friends in the future. recently, i messaged him asking how he is and i even said i am happy for him now. ive seen that he had grown up and that is what ive always wanted for him. he did not reply to my message. although i know that he have seen the message already in facebook.

does this mean he doesn’t want to talk to me? then why would he say he is hoping we can be friends? he would even say before that he will still be there as my friend.

admin

October 23, 2013 at 10:19 pm

At this point no he doesn’t want to talk to you but that is ok.

Lets just take a deep breath and realize this process isn’t going to happen overnight. If you want him back you may need to do a little NC yourself.

trace

October 22, 2013 at 1:45 pm

My bf called it off 8 weeks ago after a 18YR relationship, we have had no contact for the last 5 weeks, we arranged a chat to sort out bills/rent etc few days ago. He had the attitude we not getting back together, yet I jumped in first and said there’s no going back, although I still want him back more than anything ! He as been chatting with another girl for the past few weeks nothing serious he says….I laid it on there was no going back now thanks to his lack of respect for me, meeting this new girl within matter of weeks. I said whatever chance there was or wasn’t had gone thanks to him !!! To which his tears were flowing, does he still have feeling for me? Are the tears guilt ? Is there any hope in time ? He expected me to be the pathetic broken women begging him to take me back, yet he walked away from a strong positive woman ( so he thought I was a wreck after he was gone ). He never saw a tear from me though…..help, advice and ideas please

admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:53 pm

Wow! 18 year relationship is a long time. Where you married? Does he have commitment issues?

Have you done NC?
trace

October 24, 2013 at 1:15 pm

Hi Chris, We’re 18yrs not married, both been married previously to other partners…3 weeks of minimal contact, due to children. He is getting friendly with other woman…I am unsure what to do without making things worse or pushing him closers to her ! Our son is getting very distant from his dad

Any advice please
admin

October 24, 2013 at 8:14 pm

Well, I would say wait another week of MC and then reach out to him.
trace

November 6, 2013 at 4:08 am

Hi Chris I reached out to find out he had moved in with the gf !!! Pretty sure this was going on before we split, either that or a sudden rebound. I’m heartbroken how can he move on so quick ? Did I mean nothing, I have his child, didn’t I deserve a chance ? Or even an explanation as to why he couldn’t tell me he was falling out of love with me? This is still so raw, I can’t sleep or eat I have lost 2stone in total in 10weeks. Have I lost him totally ?
admin

November 6, 2013 at 5:25 pm

I am assuming the weight loss isn’t the healthy kind?

Maybe he is just freaked out about commitment and responsibility.
trace

November 6, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Weight lost thru not being able to eat and stress. If freaked out about commitment and responsibility, why move in with her so quickly ? Surely it out of the frying pan in to the fire ?
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:16 pm

People do a lot of weird things. I take the opposite view. I think the faster they go the faster they end. Especially when its a rebound.

lola

October 22, 2013 at 11:10 am

hi me and my bf broke up like 4 months a go and it ended bad hit started off with him distant from me and not caring no more but confusing me with he still loved me and didnt want to loose me. but he ignored my birthday and stuff.then he said he wanted a break which for me it means a break up i chased him then he pushed further. then he spent time with a girl smoking and i took off as he cheated on me which he didnt. he didnt even say sorry or anything. then i cussed at him and accused him of cheating he said if i was realy to believe it and sad face. but he didnt even care. the next day he talked bad about me so bad. everyone says he dosent care and got over me. i havent contacted him since 4 months and he hasent either. he even concated his ex. idk what to do.?

admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:42 pm

Have you done NC yet?

Rachel

October 22, 2013 at 9:39 am

How to show him I am happy like you said upload the photos in fb so that he wont think i am eating ice cream and crying whole day because he is not there in fb and i am not in touch with him now.

admin

October 23, 2013 at 7:35 pm

Read this article: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-using-facebook-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back/

lovey

October 22, 2013 at 6:24 am

Also I just have to say we have broke up many times before and its always been me for every situation I thought was unfair but he always came back to me and I have 2 kids which he considers his sons but I feel like I really lost him this time and its hard knowing I could have put the effort in to save it just like he did and I took him for granted…not to say he didn’t make any mistakes cuz he did…I know u hear it all the time but he is my one and only person I want…the only person who can make me feel the kind of happiness he does…and I hope it works out and sometimes I think maybe it is for the best he met someone else cuz maybe by chance if we do get back with each other I know how much he means to me and I will fn stay in this mfn relationship and work on our fn mfn ffff problems till the day I die cuz I’m not gona be the selfish unforgiving person I was before…anyway I really think this site is awesome I wish I would have came upon it a couple of days ago cuz in my stupor of love I did some irresponsible things that I wish I hadn’t done but now I have hope from this site and I don’t know wat I would do if I hadn’t of read it. Hope is a wonderful thing. Also I just gota say don’t ever go on a date with someone old enough to be your dad to make u feel better cuz that was just nuts. I wish u all luck
lovey

October 22, 2013 at 5:24 am

Ok here’s my question…me and my boyfriend of 2 years broke up, spent time apart but we never stopped texting each other e even if it was just the lame hey crap. We started having sex again and after awhile he said he loved me and wanted to be with me.So I thought we were good trying to work things out and then I find out he’s seeing or talking to someone else and it was a shock. I called him and he said we can’t get along and he needs time to figure stuff out. Lame…I haven’t talked to him in 4 days so does this situation sound like he even has feelings for me at all. And I guess I feel pretty desperate cuz I just never thought he would get over me as shallow as it sounds. I love him so much but I feel like we both made so many mistakes in the relationship that he don’t want to even try. I don’t know any help at all

admin

October 23, 2013 at 6:56 pm

Well, have you started a NC rule?

Isabel

October 21, 2013 at 6:20 pm

Hi Chris,

Me and my ex had a short text conversation and in the end I asked how he was doing, he responded with an engaged and quite detailed text. I didn’t respond to that, was that good? And could I wish him luck on his test on Friday?

admin

October 22, 2013 at 2:15 am

Yea really good!

Text him in 2-3 days again.

Julia

October 21, 2013 at 3:41 pm

Hi

My boyfriend and I split up 19 days ago, and since than I have made zero effort to be in touch with him.

The end result was as follows: He basically bailed on me last minute, on plans that he knew were important to me. And he didn’t call, he didn’t do anything actually cept text. He was blaming me for his screw up instead of manning up to it, it was my fault somehow. Which only upset me more, he started to bring up stuff that made no sense to me & I am sitting there thinking “wtf does that have to do with you bailing on me at the last minute”. Needless to say he said to me via texting “I feel like you are trying to change me and I am not changing for noone” and “I will call you when I am ready”, to which I said “take all the time you want”. He said I will “I will, we will go for coffee” I sat on that comment for a few hours (I literally had to go to work) than i wrote back a few hours later and calmer “did you just break up with me via texting and you want to go for coffee, no thanks, take care”.

That was the last thing I sent, that was over 19 days ago now. I really do not think he will contact me I mean the guy broke it off via texting. Secondly, I am not even sure if I really want to talk to him anymore or even be with him. I am very confused when it comes to him & feelings now.

I know I loved him but now I am just super confused in regards to him. The biggest thing for me is how it was dealt with, I mean in my future I want a man who would be by my side not hiding in the corner you know.

Do you really think he would contact me?

admin

October 22, 2013 at 2:05 am

Anything is possible during the NC rule!

However, even if he doesn’t contac tyou and you do NC YOU can always reach out ot him with the texts I suggest.

Beckie

October 21, 2013 at 2:04 pm

Hi,

My bf and I are 21 years old, and we broke on good terms after a 9 month relationship and a 2 year friendship (he was going through a rough patch emotionally so we mutually agreed we shouldn’t be together at that time). I initiated NC straight away, did no begging and we have both been very civil. A week passed and he texted me that he missed me but thought this was for the best because he shouldn’t be with anyone if he can’t be there for them emotionally, and I responded saying I understand his need for space and respect his decision to end it.

I have completed 5 weeks of NC now, apart from this one texting episode above which was hardly detrimental (but if you want to be strict, I have still completed more or less 30 days NC).

The issue is that my phone broke, and I had to replace is with a new number. Ideally I didn’t want my first message to be a ‘group message’ saying ‘hi everyone, here’s my new number as my old phone packed in x’ but I didn’t really have a choice!

My questions now are:

1) I sent that text today. How long should I wait before texting him the ‘first text’ in getting him back since NC (I don’t count that group text about my mobile number change as the ‘first text’?)

2) I was thinking of sending this text, how is it? Or should I ask him how he is or is that too pushy for a response from him?

“Hey, just had lunch at that Tapas bar we used to go to, made me think smile 🙂 ”

3) Should I bother at all trying to text him after NC, even if he made it clear a month ago that he’s in a bit of a difficult place emotionally right now? Or should I leave it to him to contact me first? The issue is I think he still has feelings for me (he told me he missed me in that text and we ended on decent terms so there’s no reason for him to hold anything against me). The issue is I don’t think he would text me first, as I think he’s so worried about being selfish (in that he wants me, but like he said in his message he ‘shouldn’t be with anyone if he can’t be there for them emotionally’) that he will never message me.

In short I feel like I need to be the one to make the first move, just don’t know how to approach it. OR, should I just wait until we next bump into each other (at uni/on mutual friends nights out)?

Thanks

admin

October 22, 2013 at 2:01 am

1. I say 3-5 days is ideal.

2. Made me think smile? hahahaha “made me think of YOU” you mean?
Beckie

October 22, 2013 at 2:30 pm

hahaha think I combined ‘made me think of you’ with ‘made me smile’

Cheyenne

October 19, 2013 at 3:48 pm

My boyfriend and i had been together nearly 16 months we had a fight and he dumped me. its been around four months and we had kept decent trying to be friendly but thwe past month and a half he has refused to talk and avoid all types of contact with me and now he even refuses to look at me, my friend has said hes only looking at the bad of the relationnship but the good had outweighed the bad and i realized, after trying to move on, that i want him back. I want to try the NC but then i get weak and i text him and he never texts back and hes practically said we are never getting back together. please help, id appreciate for your response to be sent to my email
please

admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:56 pm

Well, I don’t email anymore due to the amount of volume I was getting it was too much to handle for me.

I think just for you that actually completing a NC is the way to go.

Satt

October 18, 2013 at 9:30 pm

This info is crazy helpful! Although, it does not sound like something i can commit too. Me and my ex were together for 2 and half years before he broke my heart. His mom was never for the relationship (not because she didnt like me, but more because she thought we were too young – at 15 years old we started dating). That added alot of stress to the relationship but other than that we were always happy together. We are both 18 now and the break up wasnt because we grew up and changed who we are. The day he broke up I didnt see it coming. He says hes confused, he says he still loves me, still wants me in his life and to not worry about any hook ups ect. Which confused me even more! I definitely want him back and by what hes told me I feel like theres still hope. We ended things mid august and have still been talking ever since and hang out once in a while (my bad). I have given him until the end of October to decide whether or not he wants to be with me. I am in serious need of help – I know what i want, its him, and at the moment i am not open to anything or anyone else. We always talked about our future together and how much fun we would have. Please help me I really do love him and as macho as my ex looks hes such a wuss when it comes to love. Any info specifically for my situation would be helpful!

admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:06 pm

Crazy Helpful.

Believe it or not I think this is one of the weaker pages on the site! I would recommend you read everything b/c the information around here blows this out of the water and then of course there is the E-Book.

Have you done NC?
Satt

October 18, 2013 at 9:43 pm

PS.. No contact is gonna be a tough one so any advice on how to get him back without doing that?
admin

October 19, 2013 at 8:01 pm

Yea, I guess you can do everything I recommend to do AFTER NC but it is not as effective.

Isabel

October 18, 2013 at 7:35 am

I have previously sent out two first contact messages to my ex and he responded neutrally. Yesterday I sent out a less threatening text and he responded positively.

1. How do I keep the texting out of the friend zone? Is it by ending it first and control de conversation? Being the ungettable girl?

2. Do I make the texts more “threatening” the more we text?

3. How much should I text before moving on to the next step?

admin

October 18, 2013 at 7:03 pm

1. YESSS!
2. Yess but in a soft kind of way.
3. Until you are sure you can get a positive response.

Betty

October 16, 2013 at 7:31 pm

Hi my boyfriend and i just recently broke up 2 days ago and I didnt come off crazy I did cry a little tho and spoke to him about how i felt and why i didnt think it was the right decision, he told me he has a lot going on right now and a relationship is the last thing on his mind. We live together and everytime things get rough we always said we’d get through it together which is why i don’t understand the reason for this break up. We did fight 2 days ago and he told me everyone (his bosses, his mom & his brother) so he doesn’t need me doing it, we do have way more good times than bad because i never try and fight with him. Anyway i’ve known about the no contact rule and as im doing it he keeps texting me and when im watching television in the other room he comes and asks if he could watch tv with me then when i asked him politely why, you recently broke up with me and said you needed your space he said he likes the company I am sooooo confused -.-

admin

October 17, 2013 at 2:54 am

Have you tried any form of NC yet?

Sally

October 16, 2013 at 5:59 pm

What if there was relationship overlap? Things were going downhill, he met a girl in his college classes a week before we broke up, now they are dating. Will he later realize he misses me? Or was he long moved on before we even broke up

admin

October 17, 2013 at 2:14 am

It is possible for him to meet a rebound while he is dating you. Have you read the rebound page?
Sally

October 16, 2013 at 6:00 pm

We were together 2 years but one of the years was long distance

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2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”