Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Sara

October 8, 2013 at 12:42 am

So I have been in a “friends with benefits” situation for about 4 years now. I am in love with him and according to him he loves me too. We are not the conventional ‘friends with benefits,’ we go on dates, cuddle, spend holidays with one another’s families, etc. Basically, he has become too comfortable. He has no desire to make things official with me because he is getting everything he would be getting in a relationship for free. I guess he feels like it is unnecessary to burden himself with commitment when he doesn’t have to. We used to live in the same city, but we’ve since graduated college and now live about 3 hours apart. We see each other every weekend. He always makes little comments making me feel like he wants to be with me, but his actions (mainly the fact that he has taken no steps to make things official with me) say otherwise. I should note that we are not exclusive… I am free to date whoever and he most certainly does the same. I have been fed up with this arrangement for a long time and have distanced myself from him (I do not text/call him first anymore). He definitely notices and during the times that I pull away, he chases me and becomes super attentive to my needs and makes all these promises and blah blah blah. In the past I have told him that maybe we should break things off and that’s when he seems to come to his senses. He realizes what he has and how he doesn’t want to lose me. The problem is that as soon as he has me back again, it isn’t long before he returns to his usual routine of wanting boyfriend privileges without any of the commitment. I’m tired and I want to give him one last wake up call (without it being an ultimatum). I plan to break things off with him telling him that I am talking to someone new and we have agreed to cut off anyone else we are involved with (which is partially true). Do you think this will be effective in getting him to realize he may lose me to someone else who is actually willing to commit and make things official with me? Or will this just make him move on to someone else out of pride? Also, how should No Contact be implemented in this situation? Am I allowed to respond when he reaches out to me?

admin

October 8, 2013 at 2:22 am

Just pretty much do the NC rule. If he reaches out you can’t respond. It is really really tough but it actually works quite well.
Sara

October 8, 2013 at 3:38 am

So just do NC and forget about actually “breaking up” with him or still go ahead with the break up and then do NC for 30 days??
admin

October 9, 2013 at 1:37 am

I am not going to tell you what to do since it is a decision you have to make on your own.

All I will say is that NC should only be used AFTER you break up with him.

Link

October 7, 2013 at 3:19 pm

Hey Chris! I just wanted to say THANKS! Applying your advice was what really turned around my situation with my boyfriend and we have been back together for almost three weeks now! He is even talking long-term with me now! I really appreciate your advice and taking the time to respond when I had a question. I am so happy and thankful!

So anyone cruising through this site wondering if it’ll help, I can assure you it will at least make a big difference! My man had played the friend card to keep me close, but the second I faded out and stopped responding, it took only two weeks for him to be begging to apologize. He even bussed five hours to where I was on vacation to do so in person. Seriously, even though it’s hard, especially if he’s been still nice to you, Chris’s advice is the ticket.

admin

October 8, 2013 at 2:03 am

Link YOU MADE MY DAY. Mind if I stick this on the success section?

Irene

October 6, 2013 at 10:02 am

Hi chris,

My and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago.after a week my mum got really sick and i found out that he was the first person i texted asking him to be around because i was having a hard time, and he was so nice’ texted back and comforted me, and then my mum was fine (thank god) and everything went fine and we stopped talking for a while except we had to arrange and event together but we didn’t talk that much.
Then 2 days ago a friend told me that the event is confirmed but he never got back to me..so i texted him that he didn’t confirm with me and he texted back saying that he thought it was confirmed and he apologized and we texted for sometime about video games (we are both gamers).
Then the day after he called me for the first time telling me stuff which means that he doesn’t go out and he’s drowning himself in video games and if i wanted him not to show up for the event and i told him he should come and then in the end he told me i just called to say hi.
Yesterday i found a text from him talking about a video game he liked and that i should try it and we talked for a while.

What should i do next?!!…i’m afraid he might be pushing me in the friends zone as we agreed we’ll stay friends..and how should i act when i see him

Thank u 🙂

admin

October 7, 2013 at 12:11 am

Read this article I think it will be helpful for you: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-making-your-ex-boyfriend-love-you-again/
Irene

October 14, 2013 at 12:17 pm

I read your reply late and i did a stupid move!..so i met my ex at the event and he was socializing an laughing and having fun and talking to girls (not what i expected) and of course i felt bad and jealous..then he offered me a ride home and he talked casually and friendly but i was upset so i didn’t talk much!..when i went back home i texted him and told him that i’m not over him and that i want us to work things out( i might have begged) and he was like no..we cannot go back to this we will be hurt again and there is no hope in this relationship..i’m sorry it’s over and let’s just stay friends and that he will disappear until we’re over this and we have talked too soon.
I went to bed feeling sooo bad that i took a step so fast and devastated because he seemed over me so fast and i want him so bad!..i should have waited!
When i woke up i texted him and told him he was right but we need to talk about it to get a fine closure but i didn’t get back to him and now i’m applying the no contact rule.

And now he’s celebrating a feast so i went on a group with him and another friend in it and i wished them a happy holiday but he didn’t reply
Is he over me that fast???…is there even any glimpse of hope???..i’m so desperate and depressed…please help 🙁
Thank u
admin

October 15, 2013 at 2:04 am

Take things very slowly right now.

I doubt he is over you this soon it just may be his way of coping with it so he doesn’t have to face the pain.
Irene

October 15, 2013 at 7:40 pm

What’s the difference?

Lisa

October 6, 2013 at 5:40 am

My ex and I broke up 3 days ago. We’ve been together for almost 2 years it would have been in 2 weeks. He said that loves me no doubt about it he just not in love with me. He said things are not the same. Im his first love, he lost his virginity with me and everything. Will this work for my situation?

admin

October 6, 2013 at 11:58 pm

Sure it will but have you read the rest of this site?
lisa

October 7, 2013 at 3:23 am

Wha do you mean?

Julia

October 5, 2013 at 10:59 pm

I’m on day 20 give or take and I want him to text me so badly but I bet he dosent even care :/ what should I do? do you think he will text me ever again? We broke up because of college long distanse stuff.

admin

October 6, 2013 at 12:28 am

I think you should wait till you hit day 30 and then reach out to him.
Julia

October 6, 2013 at 6:42 am

Thank you! After 30 days, if he dosent text me first do you think hes over me?
admin

October 6, 2013 at 11:55 pm

I wouldn’t go that far. I would just say he is really stubborn or you will just have to accept the fact that youll have to reach out first.

Vibe

October 5, 2013 at 4:38 am

SO ive been with my ex before for along time then we broke up for a year. He came back to me saying he wanted me back so something came up and we didnt get together but teasing. Now we got together AGAIN (Omg) & we were doing everything fine & i want to say perfect but not perfect, i was showing him i changed, & this time he broke up with me so i told him ” Dont ever come looking for me ever again, i dont want the same cycle to happen again, & he agreed i havnt texted him or anything. & just 2 days ago he came back to me saying if i would give him another chance & i did. So i was trying to leave this one guy i didnt care about for him, & just yesterday i saw him for the first time & my ex had to come knocking on his door & saying stuff that we were together (etc.) & now he dosnt want to talk to me, he keeps telling me ”you people dont ever change’ & right before everything happened he was telling me his feelings that i get him nervous & i’m different & good, Now i feel like the story flipped on me , & i LOST HIM FOREVER. it sucks after me and him broke up our very first time i couldnt find the same feeling with another guy like i did with him. DO you think i can follow your instructions and get him back? after 90 days? im willing todo 90 days i think thats perfect timing to get him more excited.

admin

October 6, 2013 at 12:00 am

Yes I think it is very possible! If you feel your situation needs 90 days then go for it!

Bash

October 4, 2013 at 2:03 am

Its been Exactly 15 days since we broke up! Later by 3 days he texted me telling me if iwould want to have my gift to him back because it was too expensive and he feels bad about what happened right after I gave it to him. So I just texted him back; keep it. And then after 2 days I went man about what he did to me and texted him that what he did is unfair and all that. He ignored! That was exactly 8 days after his text about the gift. I miss him so much and I stalk him on twitter and I see him tweeting random tweets and some tweets show he’s happy with his life. I no longer have him on whatsapp because I blocked him. I just miss him so much and im dying to get a text from him 🙁 help please

admin

October 4, 2013 at 9:42 pm

Well, you haven’t done NC yet have you?

Jae

October 3, 2013 at 10:24 pm

We’ll my bf and I was dating sense 9th grade.. It seems like at the end of the year and around our anniversary time we break up but this time he broke up with me and told me he doesn’t see a future with me anymore.. It’s been 4 years.. Why all of a sudden? Will this work for my situation?

admin

October 4, 2013 at 1:45 am

It can but have you implemented NC yet?

lalaland

October 3, 2013 at 6:54 am

Hi Chris, thanks for all the useful info. I’m on day 4 of NC, so I realize this question is premature. But I’m obsessing a bit and thought getting an answer to this nagging question might help get it out of my thoughts for the next 26 (ugh) days. I know he’ll ask why I haven’t contacted him when (if) I do again. He knows I’m a bit of a smartphone addict and that I always answer texts (not just from him- I never ignore anyone), so “I’ve been busy” won’t fly. Any suggestions on how to respond to “why haven’t I heard from you?” when I’m done with No Contact?

admin

October 4, 2013 at 12:28 am

I think I would go with “I just needed some time alone.”

Shayna sample

October 2, 2013 at 5:40 pm

My ex and I were madly in love 5 years ago, broke up 4 got back together off and on through the years and kept in contact. I am still in love with him but he holds back, but calls me the love of his life.

admin

October 3, 2013 at 1:44 am

Ok, have you used any of the texts on this page.

admin

October 1, 2013 at 3:07 am

The issue I have with this is the fact that if you reach out to him asking him that you come off as a little desperate
admin

October 1, 2013 at 1:33 am

I think you are approaching it wrong. By you asking for him to give you a heads up you seem kind of desperate. That is just my opinion.
Anja

September 30, 2013 at 8:37 am

Hello and thank you so much for this site 🙂
I’ve been trying to get my ex back for four months now, but I restarted at the end of july with a combination of this website and text your ex back because you reviewed it.
I’ve had a hard time connecting with my ex again and starting a conversation. . All my texts got either neutral or no responses and barely ever the conversation lasted more than 2 texts from each side (although I ended them because I knew he was going to in the next text anyway) I now tried an intimacy booster text without any hope and got “hey, thank you for having faith in me when I clearly don’t. It really means a lot” as a response.
I now don’t know how to react now since my wrong support was the biggest reason of why we broke up and I don’t want to engage from this side again. I also don’t want to be friendzoned so what should I do? He sent me this on Facebook by the way although I texted him so now he sees I have seen his message..
Please help me 🙂
Thanks Chris!

admin

October 1, 2013 at 3:06 am

Alright lets take a step back for a minute here.

Clearly things aren’t going your way 100% yet. Why don’t you re-enter into NC for a while to let the dust settle a little bit and try to get some positive responses on the texts.
Anja

October 1, 2013 at 3:51 am

Thank you!
How long would you say nc?
Should I just ignore his message? I connected most of nc with my holiday last time because we work in the same building and have one hour meetings everyday (we’re not often required to talk with each other during them but they were always awkward because of him staring at me)
admin

October 1, 2013 at 11:56 pm

Usually NC lasts 30 days. That can change though depending on a number of factors.

lex

September 30, 2013 at 6:28 am

I dated this guy for 9 months, we broke up a week ago because we fought a lot. The day we broke up he was telling me “I love you, lets fix things” I literally begged for him back and it just seemed to push him away, ever since he started hanging out with his guy friends he’s been shutting me out even more and I think its because they don’t like me.. although, he’s been acting tough and ignoring me, there are signs that he misses me like he texted my friend the other night when me and him ended up in the same party he told he to take care of me and what not.. people ask him if we’re getting back together but he says its possible if we both dont move on, the other time he said “We dont even talk anymore”…. im so confused… will he come back? What should I do.

admin

October 1, 2013 at 3:10 am

Have you entered into the NC rule yet?

Elexa

September 29, 2013 at 8:17 pm

So my boyfriend and I have been going out for 6 months. Just recently he broke up with me and basically told me to get out of his life. I decided just to leave it at that and not have any contact with him. But I think he is serious when he said that. He won’t even look at me during school. I need help one what to do. I really miss him and want to talk to him and feel happy again. What should I do? Please help me. I don’t want to give away 6 fantastic months of my life away.

admin

October 1, 2013 at 3:11 am

What situation caused him to say this?

Alaska

September 29, 2013 at 1:47 pm

Hi, so I’m 15 and he’s 17. And we were never really in a relationship but we were committed to each other for 5 months, we were super close and he was the first to say I love you. Our relationship was perfect until about 2 weeks ago, he was having his exams so he was kind of busy, but after his exams I realized he never made an effort to see me anymore. So one night I got really sad and sent him a text about how I felt like he was tired of me, and he said he’s going through a phase where he gets annoyed by a lot of things and needed space. I felt angry so that day I decided to ignore him, and that night he sent a long text explaining why he was acting that way and that he wasn’t sure if he had time for me even though he does still love me. So now we talk but I feel like I’m the only one who still feels broken up about the whole thing… 🙁 what should I do? We still say I love you to each other every night..

admin

October 1, 2013 at 3:02 am

I wish you had stuck to NC.

I would go back into it if I was you at least for a week.

And also work on ENDING the convos first always and a little prematures ends too.

Sarah

September 26, 2013 at 8:02 pm

Hi met my ex online 3 months ago and we just broke up last week on his birthday over a argument, i called him two days after it and he said there is 0% chance we are getting back together but he says he still loves me and misses the way i would hold him close when i would hug him, he said he wants to be friends but i told him i cant cause i love you to much to just be friends so monday i texted him hi and he responded back long story short he ended up telling me he needs time so i told him ok i dont wanna be pushy but the next day i sent him some flowers telling him i love you and miss you he didn’t mention a word about the flowers until i texted him hi today which we had a brief convo with him saying he got them and me saying you’re. Welcome, i really love him and i wanna get him back reallybad how do i do this????? What should i do and not do? Is it to late?

admin

September 27, 2013 at 6:09 am

I don’t think the flowers were a good idea personally.

Honestly, I think NC is the way to go for you as well.

Jemmy

September 26, 2013 at 4:08 pm

I need HELP! I was dating a guy for the last two months . He was too good to be true In the first two weeks he told me he wanted to marry me , he was in love with me and that to never leave him. We called and texted multiple times a day staing how much we loved each other and missed each other. Everything was great until i had an ex boyfriend stalk me to say the least and I feel as though this had put a strain on our relationship and a month into the relationship my boyfriend told me we should take a step back and see both of our feelings and how we felt. We never ended up doing so we just continued on with the relationship. I did however put a restraining order against the ex. Me and my new boyfriend were doing super things couldnt of been better! All of a sudden the ex boyfriend started posting stuff with my name in his post on facebook saying I was calling all of the time. I said I dont care what he says on facebook as long as he doesnt contact me any other way and my boyfriend agreed and said forget about it. On that same night we went out for dinner and came home snuggled he told me he loved me and then ended up going home nothing seemed to have changed. The next day a friend called me to tell me the ex was posting stuff again and I immediatiely texted my boyfriend and told him and said no reaction is the best reaction. It seems as though since that day he grew distant and the next day I recieved a text we needed to talk about our relationship. I called him and he told me he thinks my heart is in this reltionship more than his. He said he was not sure if he wanted to be with me and he would contact me when he got back from traveling to NYC with his kids. So I did absolutley no contact with him the entire weekend and waited for his call on Monday. No call…I tried to call him and he did not answer or return the two texts I sent. Until On tuesday he texted me and told me he is no longer in a realtionship with me and he is sorry it is just the way it is. He said there is no one else and I did nothing wrong. And he has not contacted me since. I texted him a day later asking him if we could start over and he told me I dont know. I havent heard from him since. What do you think? Why would he just say he wasnt sure about his feelings and then tell me everything he told me up until that point was what he was feeling? Please help!

admin

September 27, 2013 at 5:56 am

It is more common than you would think unfortunately.

Are you planning on doing the no contact rule?
Jemmy

September 27, 2013 at 2:30 pm

Yes..I got out all I needed answered on the first day he broke up with me. I am on day three no contact. He did however try yesterday to text me and said “how r u doing” I did not reply and an hour later he said “not talking?” and I still have not replied! What do you think?
admin

September 28, 2013 at 3:01 am

I think its good that he is thinking about you and better that you have the control to not text him at this point.
Jemmy

September 28, 2013 at 1:47 pm

I made a huge mistake and broke the NC rule yesterday due to the fact I had a question I needed answered for something personal he was helping me with. He responded immediately to my question and then asked me “Why are you being weird? You did not answer my text yesterday how you are doing then you send me this text out of the blue?” I responded and then hit seems as though he fell off the face of the earth with little one word responses and then no answer to my texts. I think I have to start the NC rule again and gain the control back. If he is not interested why bother me? Do you think he will come back? Why do you think he is doing this?
admin

September 29, 2013 at 11:58 pm

Yes, start NC again.

I don’t know if he will come back it all depends on a number of factors some out of your control. Your best bet is to focus on what you can control.

With that being said the fact that he is bothering with you is an indication a part of him cares.

Kelly

September 22, 2013 at 4:37 pm

I’ve known this guy for about 6 years, and after of misfires, we started dating about a year ago. Things were amazing and then he began feeling guilty about not spending enough time with his children (from a previous relationship), and not being an example of the man he wants to be to them. Right after the break up, I asked if I could see him, or if we would still talk, as we were always great friends. He said he didn’t think it was a good idea, and I didn’t push the issue. After a few days I did text him about some information he’d asked for previously. He was cordial, but the disconnect was obvious. I stopped texting him, stopped emailing him ( I used to do that all of the time), and have been working to improve my business. We
are still FB friends ( before we were together, he would tell me how he
would ‘stalk’ my page), but I have not contacted him.

Kelly

September 22, 2013 at 4:48 pm

…until his birthday, a few days ago. It had been over a month since we’d had any contact. I sent ‘Happy Birthday to you’. He replied immediately ‘Thank you wonderful lady’ then went on to ask how things were going. I told him things were well, and after a few minutes he told me he missed me. I told him I missed him as well, and after he replied ‘Really?’ I told him yes and he was happy to hear that. I ended the exchange with ‘I hope your day is as wonderful as you’. He replied, ‘Thanks it is now’.
So now I don’t know where to go from here. Do I wait for him to contact me? Do I send him another messege? He told me numerous times that I’m the love of his life and that I am the ‘one’. I just don’t know how to move forward from this.
admin

September 22, 2013 at 11:25 pm

Well, you are supposed to wait 30 days before you contact him. So, I would go off of that rule.

Nat

September 20, 2013 at 1:44 pm

Hi I have been with my boyfriend for 4 an a half years we split up 2 years ago he told me he didn’t love me anymore and liked this over girl , I was constlay working and he wasn’t getting the attention he had craved from me.. It went from good to sour, we managed to work through it an got back together.. When ever we had little arguements the past would be bought up. Now the same thing has happend he dumped me four weeks ago and has been seeing a new woman for 3 weeks , he questions me constlay and always asks what I’m doing who with is it a boy, etc but told me he don’t love me but I will always have a place in he’s heart an he wants to see what is happening with this woman, he also mentioned it be hard for him to see me with someone else, but he is with someone else. I have been really bad for texting and problem is he no I will text him, when I igorned him other day he texts me to say I have removed you of Facebook want me to delete your number as well? I’m really confused and hurt I want him back and it makes me feel sick knowing he with enougher woman who is six years older then him..

admin

September 20, 2013 at 9:22 pm

Well, this site can be really helpful to you.

My first recommendation is go through it and read the posts. Though if you really want the in-depth stuff I would get Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO.

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2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”