Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
Traits Avoidants Find Attractive
What Happens When A Narcissist Collapses?
How Do Avoidants Sabotage A Relationship?
Dismissive Avoidants And The No Contact Rule
The Power Of Silence After Rejection
Why Are Dismissive Avoidants Cruel?
The #1 Reason A Man Suddenly Commits
How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
Post categories
Gail
November 30, 2016 at 4:24 am
Good day.
Thanks so much for your reply. (28 Nov 2016)
Im a very independent person and in the past, i just moved on from break ups. But this guy is really special to me, so i want to do this and do it right.
So with improving myself, i should do things for me, take care of myself build confidence etc….
But how will he notice that? Through social media?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 30, 2016 at 8:09 pm
HI Gail,
You’re welcome! Yes, be active in posting in social media.
Nana
November 28, 2016 at 9:05 pm
hi, Im really thankful for your page, it helped me through a lot! It gave me comfort when ntg else could and encouraged me to stay nc.
for 2 years I was in ldr and then at the end we were both very busy and angry and fighting and so on and I first suggested a break up, but then realized I dint mean it and we stayed together. however, we kept fighting and 2 weeks later my ex bf broke up with me. then he still contacted me and wanted to be friends, which I always declined and wanted us to be together which he declined… that went on for 1 month when we went nc for 3 months. I moved on with my life meaning: having new hobies, trying to be calmer and positive, feeling ok, working on my career, not feeling pitty for myself, being ok with break up and seeing it as a possibility to grow that was necessary, etc. however, I knew I wanted him back still and was thinking of contacting him (1 month nc was over quiet a while), but was still a bit afraid, I would be disappointed if I would end up being friend zoned and I was postponing it till I felt totally ready. I think I was like 90% ready to manage my expectations. and then he contacted me 1 week ago on fb (we always spoke there, since he had no phone…). He basically said he is interested how I was doing and that he saw some pics of me surfing and that it looks fun. then he said he was sorry he hadnt sent my things back and that the reason was he had lost my father’s watch I lended to him and how sorry he was. (the watch means a lot to me and I I was quiet hesitant to lend it to him, but he promised to take good care of it). and then it got into how he wishes me the best and that he would be happy if he could hear stg back from me.
it’s been a week and I cant bring myself to answer him. I took myself time to reconsider again firstly if I even want him back again. and Im absolutley sure I do. I love him and I think I have changed enough (gained calmness and confidence-that was the main problem I think), however, Im rather scared that he just wrote to me to tell me about the watch and to get it off of his shoulders. and I also dont know how exactly I should reply to maximase my chances in this situation, etc. any help/thoughts appreciated! 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 29, 2016 at 6:27 pm
Hi Nana,
I think you should start slowly building rapport… Initiate conversations.. Use topics that he loves talking about
Leena
November 28, 2016 at 8:26 pm
Hello ! Before nearly 4 mnth i started talking to a guy. He had a gf and their relationship was there since 2 years but they didnot had enough time for each other .his gf was ignoring and hurting him . I talked to him as a friend then we turned out to be lovers . He too fall in love with me and i fell for him too . But still he had next girl in his life (his gf ) then i broke up with him .. and told him i am leaving and texted him many sad messages but he told me he dont wanna loose me and will break up with his gf coz he said he dont have feelings for her anymore . He cried a lot for me . Then again i build up the hope and came to relationship . Now whats happening is his gf got to know about us . She got jealous and has started talking to him again and gives him time too and i am being ignored . I texted him like before saying carry on ur relationship i am leaving . But he is saying like he doesnot wants to loose me and doesnot wants to loose her too . But i dont think this is right . He is back with his gf . He loves her now and i am valued less while i can say in other word i just got used in his bad times . What should i do next ?should i use no contact rule and bring him back or should i let him go ? Or should i stay as friend which i dnt think i can
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 29, 2016 at 5:56 pm
Hi,
of course it’s not right to keep you both.. Try to do the no contact rule for 30 days.. Heal and improve.. Set aside thinking about what to do with him in the mean time..
Poomi
November 28, 2016 at 8:20 pm
Before 2 mnth i started talking to a guy. He had a gf and their relationship was there since 2 years but they didnot had enough time for each other .his gf was ignoring and hurting him . I talked to him as a friend then we turned out to be lovers . He too fall in love with me and i fell for him too . But still he had next girl in his life (his gf ) then i broke up with him .. and told him i am leaving and texted him many sad messages but he told me he dont wanna loose him and break up with his gf coz he said he dont have feelings for her anymore . He cried a lot for me . Then again i build up the hope and came to realtion . Now whats happening is his gf got to know about us . She got jealous and has started to talk to him again and gives him time too and i am being ignored . I texted him like before saying carry on ur relationship i am leaving . But he is saying like he doesnot wants to loose me and doesnot wants to loose her too . But i dont think this is right . He is back with his gf . He loves her now i am valued less while i can say in other word i just got used in his bad times . What should i do next should i use no contact rule and bring him back or should i let him go ? Or should i stay as friend which i dnt think i can
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 29, 2016 at 5:56 pm
Hi,
of course it’s not right to keep you both.. Try to do the no contact rule for 30 days.. Heal and improve.. Set aside thinking about what to do with him in the mean time..
Linda
November 26, 2016 at 11:12 pm
Hello, I am very sad and confuse not sure what is right or wrong. My heart is feel very painful . Hope to hear advise from you. I have arrange a big birthday party for my boyfriend, but two days before his bday, he said he will not spend his bday with me and will spend it with someone else. I was upset and mad, I hang up the phone on him. Then he block his phone and text on me. I cool myself down and went to his work and beg him to spend his bday with me, i told him what i have arranged from dinner to booked a room at the casino for a fun night. He said ok he will turn on the phone and call me after work, even give me a goodbye kiss. I thought everything was ok, then at 5 pm i called him but blocked my phone again. It have been two weeks now, no matter how I beg him his still dont return my call or text, I end up calling his co worker to see if he went to work, he actually went on vacation. No call, no text and lie to me does that mean is a break up and he is spending time with another girl. It is very hard for us to be together and i value this relatonship very much that why I was willing to please and beg him most of the time, am I wrong to do this? No reply for two weeks does that me we are finish? what should I do , I am confuse and so painful of not knowing answer to things . Thank you for your help
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 28, 2016 at 3:26 pm
Hi Linda,
he’s ghosting you.. Yes, you value him but it’s not right to keep begging and chasing him.. His actions are not the actions of a person who’s in a relationship
Gail
November 26, 2016 at 10:33 pm
Good day Chris & Team
In a very short time, i’ve learned a lot from reading your website. Thanks for creating it. I really appreciate your good & hard work.
I really need your help with my situation.
My boyfriend broke up with me about 6 weeks ago. We’ve been dating for about 5 months. Our relationship was great. He put in a lot of effort to win me over. We respected each other and he treated me like a queen. He said he wants a future with me & we were planning on buying property together.
The only problem we had was his ex girlfriend using their 2 yr old daughter to manipulate him. Since she heard that he is in a relationship with me, she started to give him lots of problems when it came to him spending time with their daughter. That absolutely broke him. He is a very emotional person. She’ll do things like tell him his not a good father and he is throwing his daughter away to be with me.
The relationship he had with his daughter’s mother was very unhealthy. They use to fight every day and according to him the romance died long before they broke up. Their break up was mutual.
When he broke up with me, he told me its because he wants to move back to his hometown, so that he can be closer to his daughter. That will be the only way for him to see her more & be part of her life. I asked him if he is back with his ex girlfriend and he said no. The day after that, I sent him a text saying its really difficult for me to let go and our relationship ment a lot to me. He replied and said he is really sorry and our relationship also means a lot to him.
Two weeks ago, I heard from mutual friends that he is back with his ex girlfriend. According to them the ex girlfriend told him that the only way she won’t turn their daughter against him, is if he let her & the daughter move in with him so that he can take care of them financially since she hasn’t been working for sometime now.
I then sent him a text & asked if they are back together. He replied saying that he didn’t know how to tell me, yes they are back together. I replied and asked if there is anything else he lied to me about. He then didn’t respond.
I obviously still love him & all I want to do is text him to tell him that he is making a mistake. He shouldn’t allow her to use his daughter to manipulate him. She doesn’t love him, she just wants his money. But i haven’t contacted him. I actually don’t know what to do.
Please help because I do want my ex back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 28, 2016 at 3:12 pm
Hi Gail,
The odds are he’s going to compare you to his ex.. So, keep improving yourself.. If she keeps nagging, and you keep improving, there’s a good chance he will get tired of her and miss you.
Lory
November 23, 2016 at 5:52 am
My ex and I where dating for 3 years now and for the last 6 months, it became tough in our relationship that we ended to break-up. Worse part is, he didn’t say what he wanted it but it shows that’s what he wants. I decided to follow NC rule. a month ago and on 11th day of NC he messaged me with “hope you’re doing fine”. Since i am under NC rule, of course i didn’t respond but he knew i have seen his message. After that, no message at all and his last seen on the messenger was on following day of his message to me. What should i do now? Today is my 30th day of no contract rule. Will there still be a chance of getting him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 25, 2016 at 8:05 pm
Hi Lori,
you can initiate contact.. Check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
lara
November 23, 2016 at 3:15 am
2 weeks ago my boyfriend and i broke up because his friends told him I cheated on him, I denied it and cried and begged him and i told him a hard truth a couple days later that this guy was in fact harassing me and It was so irritating that he didnt believe me and went a bit texting crazy and wrote a bunch of letters, and he just seems gone he said we were truly done and we could still be friends but i was upset that the next day i said i couldnt be friends with him because he couldnt trust me, but i finally had enough and told him that i apologize for acting so crazy an upset and told him i undertsand and im done and wished him well, my question is if i do the no contact rule is there a chance for rebuilding something in the future. we truly loved each other, he just seems to really believe i cheated on him and at first said he just needed time and wasnt sure about the future and after i told him what really happened and went crazy he told me we were really done but that he would be there if i needed him but then after i got mad that he couldn’t see how this guy treated me he told me “stop texting this number”, thats when the next day i apologized and told him it would be the last time that i would contact him and wished him well and he just said the same thing “i wish you well and i hope everything works out”. earlier he told me if i truly loved him i would wait and to show him he could trust me, if i leave him alone for a while and stick it out as waiting but living my life could he start to come back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 25, 2016 at 4:22 pm
Hi Lara,
there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but there’s no point in chasing him and if he wabrs you to wait then that means you should give him space.. Check this one:
How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If He Thinks You Cheated But You Didn’t
jasmin
November 22, 2016 at 9:01 pm
Hey guys I really didn’t follow anything…lol but my ex and I broke up like a few days ago and he kept texting me I didn’t relpy back for Twp days….then yesterday I asked of he wanted to go our or coffee is this right?? He hasn’t texted me back I’m try to do the pull push thing…..I havnt texted him either is that ok that I asked him to go pit for coffee?????
jasmin
November 25, 2016 at 1:21 pm
We’ve only been together for 5 months and we broke up cause we was always arguing
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 27, 2016 at 5:47 pm
Ah ok.. well, the push pull is done after the no contact period. Do you want to try that first? If you’re going to do it, it would be better if you do 30 days and then be active in improving yourself during and after the no contact period. YOu can initiate contact after 30 days..
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 24, 2016 at 6:12 pm
Hi Jasmin,
when and why did you break up? How long was the relationship?
Jyothi
November 19, 2016 at 6:03 pm
Hi, I am confused. Need advise. I was in a relationship for past 2years with a guy who was seperated with his wife for 3 years who wanted to divorce. However, 2-3months ago they patched up as wife refused divorce. He often promised no matter what he will never leave me. But now he joined up with her. He now says he is not happy leaving me but helpless as she refused divorce and thinking of his kids he had to do. But feels bad he had to put me in this situation but its not wantingly. I love him but confused if its worth trying to get him back as he has hurt me so much after giving me hopes for 2years to get married.. He says he is looking for ways to take me to UK as he resides there. He says he misses me. When i keep reminding him how mean snd cheap he is to cheat me a person who is an orphan and cheated by others guys too with fake promises to marry me. When my scolding words become harsh he has blocked me thrice in the past 2-3 months. But he himself unblocks and contacts me asking how i am and that he is missing me. He has helped me financially in clearing my debts without me asking him. I am but paying him back every month. This month i didnt pay so he unblocked and questioned me why i didnt pay and if i am taking revenge. Informed him thats not my upbringing but for some reasons need money as I will be short of money if I pay him. He then agreed to pay when I have. He said really wanted to be with me but couldn’t do anything as wife refused divorce and for kids sake he had to patch up. Should I believe him. Should I trying to get him back. Please advise.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 22, 2016 at 2:28 pm
Hi Jyothi,
if he is saying that he will not leave his wife anymore, you should move on..
Patricia
November 18, 2016 at 8:20 pm
So far, I’m getting positive responses to my gmail chats, they are lighthearted, he has apologized but I didn’t get into a bit conversation about “us” we just had a nice chat, and he is the one who first initiated contact, every 2 weeks then a little more frequently. I know he is still with the new girl he left me for though and he is liking her statuses etc. on Instagram and they are still together. She got out of her marriage (her ex-husband was leaving her too), and now they are fully together. I know that this will bond them because she is going to rely on him more now that she moved into her own apartment and now that she’s out of her marriage. I know also they will be shopping for decor together and doing all these bonding activities. He did the same for me when I moved to my new place so I know how it will go. I know that they are bonding. So how do I continue to build rapport while this is going on? We went out for 2 years and had a strong bond so I know he does have some feelings left. They have been together 3.5 months now. I know it may be a lost cause, but I want to do the best I can to put myself in a position to get him back. Do I continue to initiate contact if he doesn’t or is it better to wait for him to contact me even if its days or a week between contacts by him?
Patricia
November 21, 2016 at 6:51 pm
So you think that the “being there” strategy will work better here than another period of NC?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 23, 2016 at 3:51 pm
Yes, I think so.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 21, 2016 at 1:20 pm
If he initiates, answer and have good conversation and then initiate the next day too or after a few days.. You have to slowly build rapport like that while also maintaining yourself. So that when they come to a point that the honeymoon period is over, there’s a chance that he will miss you and think of the latest good talks you had
Isabelle
November 17, 2016 at 4:39 pm
So what do I do
If he said that hes gonna think about if we should come back together?
And ges thinking also of exes with benefits?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 18, 2016 at 9:35 pm
Dont agree to be friends with benefits.. It would be better to lose him than lose your dignity.. If he says he’ll think about it, say ok but dont pressure him for an answer.. Be busy in your own life..be the ungettable girl. Dont just wait,be active. If he didnt initiate for 2 weeks, initiate and then talk
Keshaun
November 17, 2016 at 4:00 pm
My boyfriend and I broke up about ba week ago because of me and he said he didn’t think we could work things out because he was unhappy due to my argumentative nature ,he says he still loves me Me wants to be here wit me as friends ,also he started talking to someone else but got mad when I talked to his roommate about someone who I was talking to wehad sex a couple days after the relationship but afterwards he said it wouldn’t be a good idea to do it again ,when we text the conversation is really dry , help me
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 18, 2016 at 9:30 pm
Hi Keshaun,
dont sleep with him again.. How old are you both? Do you want to try the no contact rule?
Lauren
November 13, 2016 at 5:32 pm
Hi,
I’ve been on here before. Me and my ex have been on and off for 9 months. He ended things in May saying he didn’t won’t a relationship, then again July- that time was horrible, he said such horrible things like it wasn’t me it was me and him that didn’t work and he was 100% sure we were done. I did NC for a bit but maybe not that long, maybe 2 weeks… he would reply to all my snapchats with friendly messages until we were constantly chatting via Snapchat then moved back to messenger. He started trying really hard, to meet up and I kept saying no until at one point he was asking 3 times in one day! He came to my birthday meal and got me a present and met all my close friends. He said during this time that we weren’t together and I could date others and he wouldn’t mind. Then a few weeks later he saw me texting another guy and got so angry. We had a very good discussion and he admitted that when he said I could date others he was testing me as he knows he hasn’t treated me right. We were good for a while after that. We had the odd fight when he let me down with terrible communication and then a few weeks ago he did it again with no apology or explanation. I went mad and texted loads. He said it was a turn off and then he said that we broke up before because of this and here we are again. He then went back to Greece to see all his friends (he’s Greek) and didn’t contact me (I didn’t contact him either) when I knew his back on Monday I messaged a few times and got no reply. Tuesday I was really freaking out and dying to sort things out after our fight. He sent me a text late at night ending things saying he’s been unhappy and being home at the weekend made him realise this and that he only stayed with me because of my persistence (lol) I didn’t reply other than the next day to meet to talk. He wouldn’t, he said his mind is made up. We haven’t spoken since. I just don’t believe what he said as we were good until we had an argument and yeah I’m in the wrong for saying to much and bombarding him with texts when we have an argument but our problem in no or poor communication. I think his culture and upbringing makes him really bad at talking about things. I think he’s being irrational ending things on an argument and also refusing to talk through things and ending it via a text. I really think we need better communication to work and we can do it that. Last time we got back together without discussing anything. Do you think I should do NC or do you think it’s really over?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 3:56 pm
Hi Lauren,
let’s do nc as one last try this time. finish 45 days. Focus in changing yourself,your routine and your life.
Isabelle
November 13, 2016 at 3:29 pm
Hey
Well I send the text about the movie. Then the next day I talked about Donald Trump wins, he reponded and then later on that day he told me that he was depressed, and felt like he did a mistake about me(i guess the breakup),hes confused he said about what ever hes down or not to come back. He said that he wanted to talk about it face to face. I said ok, but we haven’t met yet. But then the next day he said that he kinda figured out what hes down for but its not appropriate(im guessing maybe exes with benefits -.-). I dont know what to do maybe its not even what im thinking, i want our talk face to face to be on tuesday (the day that im free).
What do you think I should do?
Give me many advices please
Thank youu
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 2:38 pm
Just talk to him.. because you will only know the next after that talk
Catherine
November 12, 2016 at 6:34 pm
Hi EBR Team!!!
First of all, I just wanted to say thank you for all of the incredible help!! I don’t know what I would do without y’all! Just to give you a little background, my boyfriend and I dated for 11 months and we broke up a little over a month ago. He said he wanted to still be friends and so I tried talking to him a few days after the break up (just as friends) but he was weird and distant, so I immediately went into the No-Contact Period. I successfully completed my 30 day no-contact period and I sent him a text today for the first time. I used your advice for how to send the perfect first text message, reminding him of a time we went rollerskating together and I told him a friend and I were talking about going rollerskating and it make me think of him for the first time in awhile. Well, he seemed to respond positively to my text message, saying “haha yes I do remember!” and I was so excited to see that it made him laugh! I kept it cool and said “Haha I was so clumsy it was awful.” I planned to end the conversation there but then he actually made an effort to keep the conversation going, saying: “It was fun. So what have you been up to?” So I gave him just a very brief 2 sentence update, telling him I’ve kept myself very busy and I mentioned a couple of things coming up that I’m really excited about, and then ended the text asking “what about you?” and I never got a response. I know he saw it because he has his “Read Receipts” on, but he didn’t say anything. I’m so scared! Did I do something wrong? Should I have ended the conversation sooner? I was glad to see that he was actually trying to keep the conversation going, but now I’m just more confused than ever. When should I try to contact him again? What should I say when I contact him? Thank you!!
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 12:47 am
Hi Catherine,
hmm, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt this time. Maybe he didnt know what to say or his life is not really that eventful in the last days.. try again after 3-5 days.. List out interesting things for him, those that he always loved talking about..
Anna
November 11, 2016 at 11:12 am
Hi amour,
I made the no contact rule and i texted him he replied very postively to me i used to act like i dont care and we hangout but one day he kissed me like as if it was a joke i acted like needy in this day and i think he felt that i still in love with him i asked him how you think about me he escaped from the question and said it is not necessary that i answer it on the second day he texted me as if nothing had happened , he was caring alot and sometimes get jeolous but i dont know if i lost the chance of getting him back ?? What should i do ?? , thank you
Anna
November 12, 2016 at 4:25 pm
Hi amout,
He texts me alot and i replie but i decided to not see him for a week we used to see each other every day , what do you think ??
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 7:12 am
yeah try that
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 12, 2016 at 4:23 pm
Hi Anna,
Yeah, he more likely knows now that you’re trying to get him back.. So, you need stop talking to him again.. Maybe a week or two.. don’t move too fast after that.
elaine
November 11, 2016 at 11:07 am
my bf and i broke up last wednesday and the day after i begged him to come back to me but he said things have already changed and we were impossible and that we shall be good friends. In the last few days i would text him and he would usually replies and we would have lunch together after class. Is this the right thing to do? I cannot completely follow the no contact rule since we have classes and group projects to do together. Sometimes he would even text me first and ask whether i need help me take the homework. We bought the movie ticket for the coming sun before the breakup which I reallly want to go but Should i start my no contact now? I am so confused. Thanks for helping! And i think i cannot really no contact him for 30 days causes I misses him so much and about the school-together thing.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 14, 2016 at 8:12 pm
Hi Elaine,
if you’re going to do the no contact rule, that means only talking to him about important things and when he initiates, you have to reply direct and short,unengaging but polite way. You have to focus in doing other things, new things and making new friends, basically you’re moving on, improving yourself without totally moving on..If you keep seeing him now, you’re just helping him to either friendzone you or slowly move in from you totally.
Jennifer
November 7, 2016 at 11:17 pm
hey should my first text be like this :
have you watch the movie Suicide Squad? if yes, don’t you think that the character of the joker is like your friend( his friends name)? lol
Tomorrow, will be my first text since a week…
if not can you help me to change my text
thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 10, 2016 at 7:11 pm
it’s ok…did you send it? Was joker like his friend, just because of the name? if there are other reasons like the smile and the way he moves, you can also try something like:
I am so seeing you’re friend Joker while watching suicide squad’s Joker, From the walk, the smile, heck even if he’s just standing. Have you seen it? How are you guys by the way?
safiya
November 7, 2016 at 5:40 pm
hello:-),
my ex broke up with me 6 months ago. our relationship started falling apart when he told me a coworker made a move on him while he was drinking at a bar one night after work. i told him to cut contact with this young lady and he didn’t. he continued contacting her. after about 1 year he can to visit me on vacation because we are in a long distance relationship, i caught him messaging this girl and i told him it was over. about 2 days after we started communicating with each other and i told him to stop contacting this girl again. after he went back home, it was about 8 months after, he called me crying and said he messed up because he was still contacting the girl and he feel love with her. because this was our first relationship, i begged him to let us fix thing and start over and he agreed. about 8 months after, he ended our relationship because he stated messaging her again, i cried my eyes out because i loved him so much. i asked him if it was possible to fix thing and he told me no. i again started asking him to rethink his decision and he made it care he didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. this was the time i started the no contact rule and he kept calling me and messaging me. i messed up because i started talking back to him after 2 weeks no contact. old feelings started to arise and i told him i will not keep contacting him because it is hard for me to be just friends with someone i was once had an intimate relationship with. we stop contacting each other for about 2 weeks, i would check his accounts on social media and he was always online but he wasn’t messaging me. so i started to assume he was talking to that young lady he ended our relationship for. October was his birthday and i sent him a message and he tried to contact me but i was busy and i didn’t get to response and he didn’t even make the effect to call me again. i started checking his accounts on social media to see if he was online and he was online but not talking to me. i assumed he was talking to the young lady he ended our relationship for so i stated to forget about him and tried my best to move on. about 1 week ago, i received a message from him asking me what i would like for my Christmas gift. i gave him the cold shoulder but he insisted on me telling him what i wanted so i did. he didn’t reply after i told him. about 4 days ago he contacted me again, i didn’t reply. for about 3 days i didn’t reply to his messages. during that time i made the decision to change the color of my hair and place a pic on social media. he stated messaging me after he saw the pic, i finally gave in and replied to one of him messages. he later called me yelling and telling me to always reply to his messages. i told him i do not have to reply to his messaging and the world does not revolve around him. he calmed down and started to ask me what i did to my hair, i told him nothing. he started an argument telling me that i should have some respect for him and answer him messages. i didn’t respond, i just asked him how was work? and he calmed down. he later told me he was relocating to another state because of work and when i checked it out the state he was relocating to was nearer to the girl he cheated on me with. i got angry and i asked him what was his true reasons for relocating and he didn’t reply to my message until the next day, he told me the same reason he told me in the beginning. i am confused, i don’t know what to think. one minutes i feel like he wants to mend our relationship and the next minute i feel he is just holding on to me has a friend he doesn’t want to lose. i really love him and i would do anything for him to give our relationship another chance. we were together for 4 years and we planned our future together, he even asked me to marry him. but since he migrated(we are in different countries) he became another person and he told me he sees no future with me anymore. i want to move on but each step i take forward i keep going back once he sends me a message and i feel he know that but he is too selfish to let me go although he knows he hurt me and i still love him. do you think he has moved on? i asked him if he has moved on and he refused to answer. he ignore my questions whenever i ask him about us getting back together. do you think he still loves me and want to be with me? r do you think he has moved on?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 8, 2016 at 11:30 am
Hi Safiya,
it looks like he misses you but it doesnt mean he wants to get back with you.. He lost attraction and that was it.. Until now he’s still not attracted and he still sees the old you.. There maybe a chance but not until you totally change and stop fighting every time you talk.. understand that that happens because you still have feelings for him and he still thinks you should act a certain way.. but refrain from engaging in fights, it’s not going to help