Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Madaline

November 6, 2016 at 10:58 pm

Hey Amor,

I just completed the 30 day no contact rule and sent my ex a text yesterday talking about an achievement of mine, he then texted back quickly and positively and congratulated me on it and asked me a question about it. I waited an hour or 2 to reply and said I would tell him more about the achievement later because i was a little busy today and made sure to end the conversation. I sent another text today saying more about the achievement and this had no reply. (This is day 2). So since he didn’t reply, do I stay on level 2 and send another message tomorrow? or do I go and wait a while before sending another message? I don’t want to seem desperate. Also after the no contact rule, is it ok to start looking at his snap stories? He will know that if I saw them. Also he still hasn’t turned on fb chat for me either 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 11:25 am

it’s ok to look at his snaps now.. You can text again the next day, if he doesnt reply, rest for 3-5 days before trying again..Check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Jenny

November 6, 2016 at 2:58 am

How often should you text your ex after the no contact rule? He never texted me during no contact. I texted him first and he replied quickly after. Not sure where to take it from here.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 11:27 am

It depends, check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Emy

November 5, 2016 at 7:04 am

Hi amor,
What does it mean when your ex after no contact rule reacting very postivily and caring alot last time he kissed me also but he is so stubborn and hide his feeling he didnt say a word till now what shall i do ??

Emy

November 9, 2016 at 3:59 pm

He dont text anyone when he is in a bad mood except me he tries to text or call me just to say what is happenning with him we use to go with each other to the gym but when i have another staff i dont go there he also dont go but he doesnt say that he willnot go because i dont go he say that i am not in the mood to go also he cares alot , so what do you think ??
Emy

November 6, 2016 at 10:32 pm

Hi amor ,
So that is not a good sign right ??
Please tell me what shall i do ?!
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 6:25 pm

yes, it’s a good sign. Dont be too available.. continue improving yourself. Have good conversations but dont let go of having your own life
Emy

November 5, 2016 at 7:09 am

I will tell you the whole story i made the no contact rule for 1 month and a half i texted him again he react very postivily he cares and sometimes get jealous sometimes i feel like he dont want to talk but most of the time he is very good with me now we are so close we hang out 3 times till now he joke with me with hands alot i feen his touch itsnot just joking yesterday he kissed me on my chick , he was making a staff on instgram i found my self the first 1 in the search list but he is sooooo stubborn he didnt say a word till now what shall i do please ??? Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2016 at 8:36 pm

Hi Emy,

he missed you but right now it looks like you’re heading to be friends with benefits if you become too available..

Jennifer

November 3, 2016 at 9:50 pm

Heyy
sorry for some reason my comment couldn’t get on the website…
Should I wait one week before texting him or should I start texting him right away with the new rules of texting? (the last time we texted was monday october 31). Should my first text be a*good reminder text* or something else? I’m kinda confuse on this for my situation (good reminder VS texting an boyfriend, the new rule). By the way is it normal that i’m scared? I don’t wanna ruin my chances… I know it’s gonna be a process. But how can I rebuild the rapport? How can I rebuilt the attraction slowly?

please help me

thank you for your help, it has helped me a lot

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 2:16 pm

Hi Jennifer,

sorry about that. They were coming in, I just havent reached them yet.. I think you should wait a week before trying them..If you already sent one, that’s ok..

Emilie

November 3, 2016 at 12:07 pm

Hi amor,
I made the no contact rule gor 1 month and a half and i texted him he replied very positively and opened conversations with me isaw him in the gym after that alot we talked more and more we used to drink juice after the gym in the club and we hang out for two times till now he always uses his hand to touch me alot as joking with me but i felt like he isnot only joking he wants to touch me , he cares and sometimes gets jealous but he tries to hide what he is feeling alot i know him he is sooooo stubborn , one day he was making a stuff on his instgram and he openned his search list i found my name on the top if the suggested ones what shall i do ?? He loves me or no ?? Please i need your help , thank you

Emilie

November 12, 2016 at 4:30 pm

What should i do i decided not to see him for 1 week he texts me alot i replied but i will not see him what do you think ??
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 7:12 am

ok, that’s fine
Emilie

November 10, 2016 at 10:24 pm

Hi amour,
I asked him how do you think of me he said i dont want to answer this question , what does that mean ?? And what sall i do now?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2016 at 4:22 pm

You’re moving too fast.. Yeah, he missed you, he’s being nice but that doesn’t mean he wants to get back with you now. You have to lay low. Because honestly it was not good that you asked that, and with his reaction, it looks like he knows you’re trying to get him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 10:23 am

Hi Emilie,

that’s a good sign..It means he misses you..Be patient, take it slow and just keep buildi mg rapport.. Dont be too available though..do the push pull theory..have fun when you’re together but keep maintaining your routine during the no contact rule..text when you’re not together..rest from exting in some days..Go out with your new and old friends.. in short be the ungettable girl

Emilie

November 3, 2016 at 8:06 am

Hi amor,
I made the no contact rule for one month and a half then i texted him he was very postively in replying to my message i saw him in the gym after that alot of times we used to sit together drinking juice after the gym and we hang out two times till nw each time he was touching me alot as if he was joking with me but i felt his touch in many times like he was not only joking ,he cares and sometimes he get jeaulous but i think he is trying to hide it , accidently he was searching on his instgram i saw that i was the first name in his search list , i tried to hide my feelings alot because ge is so stubborn and i know he will not even try to say anything what shall i do ?!! I need you help please he is the only one that i loved , thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 10:24 am

Hi Emilie,

that’s a good sign..It means he misses you..Be patient, take it slow and just keep buildi mg rapport.. Dont be too available though..do the push pull theory..have fun when you’re together but keep maintaining your routine during the no contact rule..text when you’re not together..rest from exting in some days..Go out with your new and old friends.. in short be the ungettable girl

Noora

October 30, 2016 at 10:48 am

Hi.
He left me since 4 month ago, we stopped talking for month and because he’s my teacher I must be in touch with him most of the time. I didn’t speak with him about our relationship and he didn’t say anything, but the last call from him he said that he that he gave me everything, his time, his love, and everything. we are talking through our sessions, he was very stubborn and determined to not pay attention for me, but at last 2 weeks he started to give me all the attention during our session, even others told me that he really likes me, since they don’t know about our relationship. But the problem is he didn’t text me privately and never said anything about us. I confused, why he keep talking with me in our sessions and not on privet, why he sometimes talk with others and ignore me. I forgot to mention that we never met since we live in different countries. Is that mean he don’t like me anymore? Did he found another girl?
Thanks a lot.

Noora

December 18, 2016 at 2:06 pm

I want to ask him why he removed me when he return again, is that would be ok? I’m very carious to know why did he remove me, and why I’m the only person who he removed from Telegram.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 19, 2016 at 12:23 pm

If he punishing you, then that’s not a healthy act. Shows he’s vengeful or that he wants to hurt you and he knows that’s the way.. If he comes back, yeah you can ask right away but there’s a chance that would start an argument
Noora

December 16, 2016 at 7:08 pm

He removed me for his second App, I think he’s punishing me because I didn’t talk with him for a month.
Noora

December 16, 2016 at 5:17 pm

I don’t know how to start again, he became very strange man. He even using a photo of woman on his profile, and I knew that he is not busy, because he was speaking with her, I really got worried. I was thinking of leaving him, but I know I can’t tolerate that.
Noora

December 10, 2016 at 8:36 pm

I just found that he still have some friend on the App that he removed me from it.
I forget to say that I text him last week about session and he replied me, then he disappeared.
What should I do now, please.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 13, 2016 at 2:29 pm

If he disappeared to everyone else too, then that means, he probably really is facing some problems. But also remember, this time, he has moved on, you’re starting out building rapport as friends again first. So, if he’s ignoring you or everybody else, don’t take it personally.
Noora

December 10, 2016 at 4:28 pm

Hi Amor.
I got tired of him. When I just finished No contact rule and he started acting in strange way. He removed us from one of his Apps, and stopped talking with me. He even stooped talking with everyone saying that he is facing troubles these days. It’s like he started punishing me because I didn’t talk with him for 30 days. What I should do now, please help me.
Noora

December 3, 2016 at 4:27 pm

Hi Amor.
I think your advice is working with me. But the problem is I don’t know how to treat my ex. He was teaching my friends and correcting their sentences, so he wrote for them a sentence as an example and wrote that I’m in love with one of his students. I don’t know if he was trying to tease me, I really don’t understand. 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 3, 2016 at 5:37 pm

I think that’s just teasing..
Noora

November 21, 2016 at 7:53 pm

Hi Amor.
When started started no contact rule, he started laughing, kidding with others and ignored me. And I also was improving myself and speak with my friend. After 15 days of no contact rule and when we were reading he said ‘you are silent today’, then he said if you want to be silent that’s ok. I wanted to ask you if this is a good sign?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 23, 2016 at 3:59 pm

Yes! It’s a good sign
Noora

November 15, 2016 at 7:04 pm

Hi Amor.
Thanks for sending your response again.
You were very helpful person. I think my mistake was I text you too late and I didn’t make the right things to keep him in my side, actually, he said once that we should speak with someone to help us to build our relationship but I refused.
Thanks alottttt.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 10:33 pm

You’re welcome!
Noora

November 9, 2016 at 5:10 pm

Hi Amor.
I sent you messages, but it seems you didn’t receive them.
I gave him a last chance, and did my best. I’ll keep reading your subjects.
Thanks for your help.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2016 at 5:47 pm

HI Noora,

you mean your last comment in November 3? I did answer but in November 5. I’m going to copy paste my answer there here ok?

You’re welcome! Yeah, it’s your last resort. I’m going to be honest again. You have a small chance, you’re long distance, you’ve never met in person, you don’t know him personally and he’s acting shady.. But if you really want to try, do no contact.
Noora

November 3, 2016 at 10:06 pm

Hi Amor.
So, do you advise me to start with no contact rule?
It’s really nice of you to answer my questions every time.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 10:43 pm

You’re welcome! Yeah, it’s your last resort. I’m going to be honest again. You have a small chance, you’re long distance, you’ve never met in person, you don’t know him personally and he’s acting shady.. But if you really want to try, do no contact.
Noora

November 2, 2016 at 6:43 pm

Thanks alot Amor.
Well, this person shared every single moment of his life with me. He was recording everything and send it for me, I even talked with his family. But because I’m very shy person, and couldn’t share everything with him, that was the problem. He wanted me to share with him everything, but because of my personality I needed time to accept that, to start talk with him freely, to share my life moments with, of course I was doing that, but not as much as he wanted. It was my fault, and I want him to get back, please help me.
You said I should start no contact rule, but when we have sessions he’s always make fun with, mentioning my name, ask others to do there best like me, asking me. But all that in our session not in privet, an when I send him a privet message he sometimes ignore me or just correct my mistakes, it’s like I’m talking with different person. Even my friends said that he’s love me, and I’m special for him. Could you please tellme why he’s doing that? Why he don’t like to speak with me privately but doing that on public?
I’m really appreciate your help and make the effort to answer my questions.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 9:46 pm

he probably doesnt others to talk or ask him why he’s being aloof with you.. so, he just acts like nothing is wrong with the group
Noora

November 2, 2016 at 6:34 pm

Thanks alot Amor.
Well, this person shared every single moment of his life with me. He was recording everything and send it for me, I even talked with his family. But because I’m very shy person, and couldn’t share everything with him, that was the problem. He wanted me to share with him everything, but because of my personality I needed time to accept that, to start talk with him freely, to share my life moments with, of course I was doing that, but not as much as he wanted. It was my fault, and I want him to get back, please help me.
You said I should start no contact rule, but when we have sessions he’s always make fun with, mentioning my name, ask others to do there best like me, asking me. But all that in our session not in privet, an when I send him a privet message he sometimes ignore me or just correct my mistakes, it’s like I’m talking with different person. Even my friends said that he’s love me, and I’m special for him. Could you please tell me why he’s doing that? Why he don’t like to speak with me privately but doing that on public?
I’m really appreciate your help and make the effort to answer my questions.
Noora

November 1, 2016 at 10:28 am

I met him last year, he loved me alot and we were so happy together. Honestly, he is teaching me and many people around the world. We didn’t meet, because we live in different countries, so we couldn’t meet. He thought that I didn’t give him and share my details of life with him as much as he deserve. He said I gave you you all my love, my time and shared everything with you, but you didn’t give me what I deserve. Well, he changed now, sometimes he ignores me and I really hate that and sometimes I wish I could shout and tell him to stop doing that, because it’s hurting me.
What should I do? Afew minutes ago I was chating with friends and started to chat with us and did the same thing.
Please, I need your help. I want him back, and want to with me again. I should mention that he’s very stubborn person. Could you please tell me how should I treate him?
Thank a lot.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 6:20 pm

There’s no guarantee that you will get him back, it’s also a small chance in your case. You’re not even sure if you’re the only one he likes. When he said, you didn’t give him what he deserved, so what was he pertaining to? What did he deserve from you?

Right now, the best you can do is to start no contact rule, be active improving yourself, and then be active in social media.. Because that’s the only medium that he can see that you’re moving on and improving yourself. Since he’s your teacher, you have to remain civil during lessons. Just don’t initiate any feelings or relationship talk.
Noora

October 31, 2016 at 10:54 pm

Hi Amor.
I met him last year, he loved me a lot and we were so happy together. Honestly, he is teaching me and many people around the world. We didn’t meet, because we live in different countries, so we couldn’t meet. He thought that I didn’t give him and share my details of life with him as much as he deserve. He said I gave you you all my love, my time and shared everything with you, but you didn’t give me what I deserve. Well, he changed now, sometimes he ignores me and I really hate that and sometimes I wish I could shout and tell him to stop doing that, because it’s hurting me.
What should I do? A few minutes ago I was chatting with friends and started to chat with us and did the same thing.
Please, I need your help. I want him back, and want to with me again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2016 at 10:16 pm

Hi Noora,

How long was the relationship. Although honestly, it’s not a real relationship if you’ve never met. Did he tell why he broke up with you?

Makayla

October 25, 2016 at 6:49 pm

Hi Amor,
I don’t know what to do to get my ex boyfriend back. I hope you can help me. My relationship started July 27, 2015. We got engaged January 1, 2016. We were together almost a year and a half, and most of it was happy outside of some issues. For example, we fought a lot about him going out by himself. I didn’t let him, and said if he did I’d break up with him. We fought a lot about how often to see his friends and I said if we did it too much it meant he wasn’t serious about me. I tried to help him get away from his controlling family, I said if he wanted to be together then he’d have to see them rarely because they were horrible to me and I didn’t want to deal with it. I was very immature. Despite that, we had a lot of good times and truly loved each other. We very rarely had sex which was a problem, but toward the end I tried to start having sex more often.

My ex-fiance had a hard life. His mother gave him Stockholm Syndrome really early on that he never got over – he had to take over for his father when his parents divorced. His mom is really unstable and narcissistic, and made him take care of the 5 younger kids with his sister. She expected him to be her entire emotional support (still does), and to take the place of her husband by doing almost everything for the family (still does). Because of this, she has always been very jealous of his relationships and manipulative. She has used her kids as tools to get him to feel guilt over being with me, and not doing things for her. She’s gotten us to go on breaks before because “I have too many problems (depression, stress seizures, and anxiety)”. We went on two breaks before this. One lasted almost a week in August 2015, the other lasted about four days in December 2015. She hates me for saying what a psycho she is for doing that stuff to him. So does his grandmother. The two of them have always verbally abused me, and never in front of him. He’s been in denial before about it. May the 4th 2016, he said he understood what kind of person she was. That was when we got away from her. But then, in August, he started going back into denial again after not seeing them for a few months.

During the relationship, I desperately tried to get him to cut ties with his mom. He wouldn’t do it because he loves his siblings and didn’t want to not see them. Unfortunately for me, I kept pushing the issue. This resulted in a lot of terrible things happening. In fact, his mother not only assaulted me and called the police falsely on me twice for kidnapping him, but also convinced his friends to tell him that being with me was the worst mistake of his life.

Well, he didn’t believe that at first. But when we moved 70 miles away from his family to go live with mine, things changed. I had always expected him to block his exes. That, no drinking, and no taking the car 70 miles by himself (I did have trust issues during the relationship). His mom drove up here twice to guilt trip him into going home. The crazier things got, the more I restricted him from seeing his friends and family. I didn’t want to, but it happened. He hadn’t seen his friends in 4 months and his family in 2 when he left me. We fought about him being able to go out by himself constantly, being able to get a 12 hour job, and seeing his family/friends. Before in the relationship, he said the only relationship he wanted with his mother was to see the kids. Then he was unsure. Then he wanted to see them. I had an agreement to see them once a month, but got sick, and he got fed up with waiting. The agreement started in August. We went down August 25th, then I had a seizure and couldn’t go in September. The day he left was a week before we talked about seeing them in October.

When his mom came on October 14th with his grandmother and three kids, he left with them. He lied to my face and said they were borrowing his things (he said he would rather die then go live with his mom again just a few weeks before), but later in the day admitted he was moving out because of how controlling I was (family, friends, and the car). I told him he could have everything he wanted. He said 40% he’d move back in when he got back from a month trip to Indiana. Until then, we’d be on a break from our relationship. That we’d still have our relationship. The next day he came to get the rest of his things. He said he loved me, we had sex (we were supposed to still be together), and he left. Six hours after that he said he talked to his sister (who didn’t want us to be together) and said that he didn’t love me. He didn’t see a happy, healthy future with me. We couldn’t be together. I was mad so I sent him a huge text about how there was no relationship anymore. How we could be friends but that was it. This, because I saw on his facebook he was saying I was the biggest mistake of his life and that moving in with me was awful. He got all his friends together to explain why he hadn’t seen them in so long, without explaining why, or how his family had treated me.

That Sunday I tried to tell him we could be friends if he wanted. I texted him a lot. I thought the more I texted him, the more he’d think of me, and we would get back together. He said we’d be friends. He didn’t know I saw his FB. I told him we could only be friends for a short time before I’d either have to walk away or we could try again. He said okay. He wasn’t interested in any relationships, just wanted to be with his friends and family. That day he said that he loved me, but hated me because of the relationship. He didn’t know what to think.

Monday I talked to him about how in love I was with him. I sent him another letter about how I would change. I said he could see family and friends and take the car whenever, all he had to do was agree to move back in with me when he got back from Indiana. He said that the only way we could get back together was if I moved down to where his family lived and stayed there. He had moved up to my family so I guess he thought it was fair. I said I couldn’t do it, I had no money, no license, and was still having seizures. He said he wouldn’t budge on it. I asked if he loved me and he said he loved me but didn’t know what to do. He really really didn’t want a relationship with me.

Tuesday we talked as friends because I wasn’t sure how to go about things. I tried to talk to him about progress I was making in my life. He told me that I should go after other people and not be closed off because we weren’t getting back together.

Wednesday we didn’t talk all day, Thursday we didn’t really talk at all either. I sent him something that asked how he was. I told him that if he ever broke out of denial about how his mom was treating me, and how she wasn’t going to give him the freedom he wanted (she promised him total freedom if he moved back, and a car) that I would be there for him and help him move out again. He told me that he wouldn’t consider a relationship with me for the next year or two at least (he said that November and December counted as the rest of this “year”).

Friday we talked again. He said that if somebody better than me came along, not to expect that he passed it up. He said that even if I came back into the picture, that he wouldn’t break up with them for me. He said that we were just friends, and there was zero chance we would be more for at least one or two years. Even if I moved. And if we did get together he wouldn’t move back here. I asked if he still loved me. He said he loved me platonically, all the little parts of him that used to hold love for me were gone – they were insignificant, even if they were telling him to love me. I asked if he missed me and wanted to be with me. He said that it was insignificant because the little parts of him that wanted to only wanted to because I was familiar. It hurt like hell and he told me not to cry. We could always be friends. Not to worry because he wasn’t getting into any relationships for a while, especially not with his exes. He said that he wanted something entirely new. He was going to start drinking, and dye his hair, and get a piercing in his ear. I told him that a changed relationship with me would be entirely new. He said that he wanted something he never experienced before. He said that I was immature and not ready for a relationship when I started ours. He said all the problems were my fault and asked if I could see that. I said most were, yeah. He said that he always did the helping for me, but I never helped him. (Even though I helped him get away from his mother). He said I was too controlling. But his mother literally controlled his whole life. She’s so crazy she made her five year old promise to never marry a woman, and for months while we lived together in the apartment below hers, she would stand outside the wall to our bedroom and cry, screaming about why he didn’t love her anymore/was ruining his family and banging on our walls with her shoes.

I love this man so much. With all my heart and soul. It’s been a really traumatic relationship. But we spent three months away from her in May, June, and July, and they were the best experiences we have ever had. We had a lot of great times together, even with his mother being crazy. He said that we had so many good times together, he blocked some of them out. He said that the last few months were what made him not love me anymore and that he decided he didn’t love me because he sat down and all he could think about were the bad times, even though we had plenty of good times too. He said he felt we were growing apart and that things couldn’t be good anymore. The last month he isolated himself pretty much. He would be on his phone all the time, and every time I looked at his messages, he would get mad. I asked him to have one conversation without headphones on to see that there was nothing he was hiding, and he ran up a tree instead of talking about it. We have gotten into some physical fights over the relationship. There’s only been 4. It’s mostly been me hitting him, he defended himself. It’s not an excuse, but I have a terrible past and am trying to work on my anger issues in therapy now. I have been violent with him over his family before, I punched him and have tackled him. I want to show that I won’t do that anymore. I promised him I’d never do it again, but the day that his family came down and decided to tell him to move away (the day that he broke up with me), I was violent. I guess that’s why he lied to my face.

What should I do? I don’t even know if this relationship can be saved at this point. I don’t feel like I can do No Contact because he’s already talking to his exes again, one specifically who throughout our whole relationship tried to get with him. He said that we would be friends, but he talks to his other friends way more on facebook. He tells his exes more than he does me, and when we do talk it’s always short and he ends conversations first. Also, he said he doesn’t want a relationship, and if I give up on being friends too, I might never get another chance with him. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I might stop trying if nothing gets better soon. He said he really really didn’t want a relationship with me. He didn’t want any romantic relationships at all. Now he keeps trying to Skype his exes and it makes me so nervous. He lives an hour away from me. So if we don’t talk, and we don’t Skype, we’re not seeing each other in person. I told him I’d move to Worcester (where he is) in January because I’m thinking of going to school there. So I decided to be friends with him to keep myself available and in his life. I try to be nice and remind him of old times that were good. Is this relationship lost forever?

Please, if you can advise me on how to get him back, please please help me. I love him so much, and even if I have to move back down to his city when he comes back, or have a long distance relationship, even if I have to wait for him to move back here, or if he never will – I want to be with him and have the good relationship I know we can have together. He promised me a second chance when he left and never gave it to me. He said he knows I want it so badly but he’s given me so many chances and I blew through all of them. I’m ready to open my mind and give him what he wants. But I made the mistake of texting too much, giving up all my positions, and everything already. I told him how I feel and was incredibly honest, though.

Please help me and advise me. If you can’t, I just don’t know what to do anymore. Thank you for any help you can give. Have a great day. If you can help us get back together through this I’ll be eternally grateful.

Makayla

October 25, 2016 at 6:55 pm

Something I wanted to add to that long post, I’ve been having really bad problems with my back like I had the last few months of our relationship. The doctor said that I’d need surgery for it and I’m really scared of having surgeries. I’m scared I might die (even though I know I won’t) and shared these concerns with him. I told him I was scared that I might die before we got together, if we even do. And I feel like because of all the pressure that I’m going through, if he sees that, that will just push him more away if I say nothing to him. So please, like I said, I’ll do anything for this to work. Can you please tell me what to do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 9:51 pm

Hi Makayla,

How old are you both? You need to change yourself first because you take yourself in every relationship.. That’s good that you’re in therapy and it’s good that you admit to your part of the break down of the relationship.. His siblings are his life.. Isolating a person away from the people he loves and his friends, is so wrong. No matter how bad his mom is, his siblings are there. The better move was to get close to his siblings and his friends.. and to maintain having your own life.

It’s not real relationship if you’re that insecure. It’s not love anymore. It’s a need..

In his mind, he probably thinks, if he’s mom is toxic, so were you.. Even if he’s mom is abusive, he still had his siblings and friends to see. When he was with you, he lost everything. So, unless he sees, that you have already stood up on your own, totally different from the person he left, he will not go back to you.. And in order for that to happen, you have to genuinely change.

Layla

October 22, 2016 at 3:05 am

My ex (28) and I (20) were together for 6 happy months. He ended up moving 3 hours away (To be with his Mom). We’ve been in a long distance relationships for 8 months now. We’ve broken up a few times. The distance was tearing us apart. We just wanted to be with one another, and it was difficult with our work schedules. I was able to take a week off every month to come visit him. Which was good! But wasn’t enough. He recently broke up with me 3 months ago. He’s depressed over losing his job, and other life issues. He says he’s not in the right place right now to be in a relationship. I immediately went into NC; a total of 85 days. He never initiated any contact. I ended up sending him a text message apologizing for the way we left things. I said if he ever needs anything, or anybody to talk too…that I am here for him. And pretty much wishing him the best and stating that he is going to go far in life; and to just keep his head up and he’ll be fine. He thanked me. We had some small talk, but he seems uninterested. I ended up leaving my job; I was unhappy. I have money put away and health benefits; so I really don’t need to rush into anything at the moment. I was hoping he’d allow me to come visit him and talk to him heart to heart and try to work everything out. But I’m not sure how to convince him, or how to start the conversation. Whenever we broke up in the past, I always offered to come up and talk to him and try to work things out but he’d get defensive and tell me it’s not going to happen (He’s very emotional and tries to avoid talking about his feelings). I’m afraid of being rejected again. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I am going to take a few months off from work. This would be a PERFECT opportunity to get closer and work on our relationship together. I could come up whenever it’s convenient and stay as long as he wants me too. We wouldn’t have to work around schedules and go 1-2 months without seeing each other. I think it’s a good idea. I just don’t know how to approach him. I sent him a message about work. He never replied. I don’t want to send another message and overall just sound needy. What do you think I should do? I want him to come back home. His family is here and his previous work (the job he lost) wants him back, which is great! He’d have a place to live, and a great paying job. But he refuses. I thought taking a few months off work and getting close to him and being with him the time again would get him to change his mind. Everything went downhill ever since he left. We used to be so happy. I’m not sure what to do 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 23, 2016 at 11:20 am

Hi Layla,
is his mom sick? can he leave her now? And what happens when you get a job again?

Michelle

October 21, 2016 at 2:53 am

Well, it all went down last January. Both of us were normally texting and he suddenly asked me if I loved him, as we had dated for just about a month I hesitated with my reply and asked him instead. His reply “no I don’t haha, come on tell me honestly” I didn’t know if to take his reply seriously or not as he had insterter “haha” in the end. Conversation got heated up and then he asked me if we could stay as friends and then that instant he blocked me from all the possible social sites.
I felt like I hurt him because I didn’t respond to his “do you love me” question so after a week I tried talking to him through a mutual friend. That mutual friend also got blocked later 😛 Then again after a week I tried messaging him from my old fb account in which we were still friends, had to reactivated it. He then read my text and I had just initiated him to stay as friends like before and not block each other, next day boom! blocked again. He was a nice person and treated me well while we were dating. Maybe it’s also because he had added my mom in social sites and after the break up I had brought up her name as to what would I be telling her now…he ended up blocking us both.
After that day now is October, I haven’t tried talking or anything of that sort. Now is full silent. Just that I had many old fb accounts and seems like in my oldest one he is still my friend but since I don’t use or update anything I don’t think that he’s aware of that account.
I would still like to get in touch with him. Has been 8 months since we broke up..I don’t know if we’ll ever be okay from his side. Can you please suggest me anything in this.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 5:38 pm

Hi Michelle,

you dont know if he’s really a good person, because you only knew him for a month.. are you still blocked now? if yes, you should move on from him

sarah

October 19, 2016 at 6:43 am

Hello,

I want to know if my boyfriend and i were on and off for almost 3 years does that mean we have a pretty low chance of getting back together this time?.

We have never gone more then a month without speaking and never to the level where all communication was cut as in i am blocked on everything but we go to school together and pass by each other without speaking.

i was in an abusive relationship before him and was not healthy so i carried my unhealthy fears and habits on to him. During the decline of our relationship i micromanaged him more then i ever have, and when things went wrong i would over dose on my medication snd turn to self harm. (i am in complete remission from this ) when he left i was able to find my self since i was unable to depend on anyone else. I really want him back and want to see after this growth and change if we will get back together, or can? I stressed him out so much when my grandma died grandpa died, when i was diagnosed with my illness it all fell on him. I got worse and he realized he couldn’t help me and i depended on him way to much and worried too much.

he hasn’t spoken to me in two months going strong on to three. i bothered him by not respecting his wishes of me giving him space during what should have been the NC period because i was unaware of this strategy. I had people contact him a couple of times just to get some sort of response. I also reached out to hiss sister cousin friend and called him at work (however i always all him at work), i basically broke any form of the no contact rule untill this last month of September, nothing, he did not hear from me at all as well as going in to October thus. I truly want him back as i am sure everyone says and does. I know he truly loves me still and is over the problems not sure if he is over me. He truly saved my life from that abusive relationship i would not be here today. He means a lot and i know i will be ok with or without him. But i can’t say i currently don’t want to at least try for any possible hope left. ones. It may very well be. But if theres any insight or help that can be offered. I would appreciate it. I can’t afford much. I just need help. I can give you whatever i can even if its for one time advice. anything you will accept.

Im not sure if my story is like everyone else. It may be. You may have tons and tons of emails with repetitive stories that there i hope so try our guide. I can’t afford it. I am not just saying that. If i could i would because id do anything to try.

please help if possible.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 11:36 pm

Hi Sarah,

How old are you both? Okay let’s try this is as your last move.. Start the count after you read this and do 45 days of no contact. This time, focus on improving yourself and being more independent. Be active in social media too.. start a new routine. Improve your health, wealth, and relationships aspect in your life. Relationship means doing new things and meeting new people, making new friends, maintaining your current friendships and having a solid support group. Health means exercising, having a makeover and eating healthy. Wealth means building up your skills, doing better at your job, if you don’t have a job yet, then just keep building your skills that you can use in the future. And then after this no contact period, continue this routine while you are slowly building rapport with him.

Taylor

October 12, 2016 at 3:10 pm

Hi there,

My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago Monday. Initially I started the break up. I need some space to get my head cleared and figure out what i wanted but he didnt want to give me the amount of time I needed. We endeed up breaking up very mutually with him agreeing with the decision that we need this time.

Now, 3 weeks later i am ready to tell him that I want him in my life and I want to be back together with him. I recognize what I didnt bring to the relationship and I believe we are supposed to be together. He is kind of a stubborn person so I dont know how he will react when I reach out. We have had no contact for 3 weeks.

Last night after work I left him a voicemail, asking him if next week we could grab coffee because I wanted to talk. He has yet to return the call or text me a response. Did I make the wrong move by calling him before sending a text? How long should i wait before I reach out again? I am thinking I should send him a text next week? But is getting together to talk a good idea or should i be taking a different approach?

Taylor

October 13, 2016 at 9:59 pm

Okay. So you think him not wanting to get coffee means he doesnt want to hear that I want to be with him bc its not what he wants?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 14, 2016 at 2:06 pm

for now, nope, it’s not what he wants..
Taylor

October 13, 2016 at 8:07 pm

Okay do you think I should use a curious text or a tv text?

Avoid memory text right now correct?

Worried if i engage in casual conversation then he wont know that I want to be with him still and may thnk I jus want someone to talk to you. Is that okay?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2016 at 9:08 pm

hmmmm… if he wants to know that you wanted to be with him, he should have agreed to the coffee meet..

If there’s something that’s really interesting for him in tv use that..
Taylor

October 13, 2016 at 2:39 pm

Okay so how should I approach the next point of contact? Do I just send a casual text next week, one from the texting book like about how I saw something that made me think of him?

Or now that i asked to get coffee, do I have to stick to that story”
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2016 at 7:10 pm

it would be better if you start out like one of the texts in the texting book.. but I think you need to avoid that one, the thinking of him sentence, because he might connect it with the coffee invite and think that you’re totally wanting him back..

pick a different one..
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2016 at 6:20 am

Hi Taylor,

Yeah, maybe it was too forward to ask from coffee right ahead.. And you said you had a break up right? not just a break? So, asking to be back together right ahead will just be more confusing for him

LostinPA

October 11, 2016 at 3:43 pm

So my ex of 2 1/2 yrs broke up with me a bit over a month ago. Since we’ve seen each other a few times – he’s still confused about us and the future. He sounds like he is open to the idea of getting back together in the future – he mentioned “if we ever get back together…” He has been on a 3 week trip that was already planned and he messaged me last night commenting on what I’ve been up to. We exchanged messages for a few hours intermittently about what’s going on with us and our families. I didn’t happen to respond to the last because I was in a yoga class and he responded with a goodnight message. I’m wondering if this leaves me with the option to message him now or if I should just let it lie – before he went on this trip, we talked about him calling when he got home. I’m trying not to take it as a huge “let’s get back together” thing that he contacted me, but it feels like maybe a good start. Thoughts?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 5:35 pm

Hi LostinPA,

uhm, what do you mean? I’m going to assume you’re in the no contact rule, so did you mean that replying to him would be the first contact message? and the start of slowly building rapport?

H

October 11, 2016 at 11:59 am

Hi!

My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago, we were together for 9 months. It was his idea to broke up.

He is pretty introvert personality and our relationship mainly failed because we both hadn’t our own personal time and he felt like caged. We both were also stressed about work and school in the end and we ended up having stupid fights. When we first met, I thought he hated me, because I was the only one he never spoke to, later he told me that he was just so extremely shy to even look at me because he was interested in for the first sight. It took a year to ask me out.

Now we have been talking something now and then. He usually answers only “ok” and hardly asks questions. Sometimes he doesn’t even read my messages on fb, even though theres a question (we were talking about our current work and school) but last week was the only time he was asking questions from me, but then suddenly that “ok” and my question and then nothing. What should I do with him? I know i haven’t talked about “interesting” stuff, just chatting, but for me sending an interesting message for the first contact attempt would not be me at all and he would have suspected something, so i just started with whats up-message.

Should I now send the interesting message? How much should I wait? Theres one party at the weekend and we are both going there separately. Theres a lot of people so we might not see each others, but I think it would be awkward if i just leave the conversation like that. It jus that when we were dating, he hardly send me messages at the time, but i knew that he was interested because he showed that to me otherwise. But now I just can’t read him: it’s his shy introverted personality that’s not have a courage to talk to me or he is not interested.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 5:05 pm

Hi H,

I think you should read this one first:
Introverted Ex Boyfriends Vs. Extroverted Ex Boyfriends (How To Approach Them)

Kim

October 6, 2016 at 9:39 pm

Is there any way to purchase the texting bible without credit cards? Can I pay via PayPal and we do this privately cause you don’t offer PayPal. I don’t own a credit card.
Lmi

October 4, 2016 at 11:04 pm

Okay, my boyfriend and I been dating on and off for the last 5 years. Our tract record for arguments and fights hasn’t been so great in the past. When everything is going good, we are doing great. When we are bad, everything is in turmoil. Things have became physical and we have said things that have hurt one another. In the past year, we welcomed a beautiful baby boy and we was on the best of terms. Like we were discussing marriage and everything. Well, as time went on we started to argue because of insecurities and my constant nagging. This last time, it has been over another female and he keeps telling me he wants his space and stop preasuring him. Idk what to do because I just want everything to get back right because 1. I love him to death and 2. We have a child together. I just need to know what to do to get back how everything was.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2016 at 11:09 pm

Hi Lmi,

do you want to try do minimal no contact? check this one:
Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together

bethany

October 2, 2016 at 6:55 pm

my boy broke up with me three weeks ago. we dated for a few months and the first month was PERFECT so i know it can work. after awhile we started fighting. i left for europe two weeks ago (for a month) and before i did he said he couldn’t do it anymore because of the fighting. i didn’t speak to him until last week when i sent a nice message and got a happy response. i reached out again today and he replied quickly and flirty. that’s it., one text each time from me. i go home in two weeks. should i wait to reach out until i get home? or wait for him to talk to me and make plans? he knows how much i want to make this work but i have no idea what he’s thinking ….

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2016 at 4:52 pm

Hi Bethany,

You said you broke up 3 weeks ago, but he said he was tired just last 2 weeks ago, so that means you kept talking to him even after the breakup right? And you also said he knows how much you wanted to make it work and yet he’s not making any moves to get back with you. So I think instead of trying to make it work just start doing the no contact rule. Make him Miss You by doing the no contact rule. Improve yourself and heal. I know that would mean you would still be no contact rule wants to get back so just stick to it before talking to him. Finish the no contact rule for 30 days before initiating any contact. And don’t start up the conversation by asking him if he still wants to get back with you. Make it seem like a restart. Just be friendly. Check this one out for a first-contact message.
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

Nala

September 28, 2016 at 6:48 pm

Hi! Did the 30 day NC, sent the first text, got a positive response and ended the convo. Second time I texted, no response. How long do I wait until texting again and what to text? I’m confused even though have read the texting bible and exboyfriend recovery pro. Can I use a good memory text which will make him laugh for sure?

Nala

January 2, 2017 at 4:42 pm

Hey Amor, I’ve done a lot of soul searching and thinking lately. I guess I didn’t do a perfect job in the healing, moving on without moving on and improving on myself. So that process is continuing. I do think my ex is my soulmate and true love after all, but I’m not sure if he feels the same way about me. Maybe he doesn’t see me as “the one”. Not sure if he is in a rebound relationship or if he really has moved on and found happiness with someone else. If he has moved on then I’ll accept that and be happy for him, but how do I know that? What can I do in this situation while I’m still being blocked? Should I just stay in NC until he unblocks me and keep improving myself? A lot of other relationship guides tells to move on if a guy doesn’t want a relationship, because it means the guy isn’t just that into you. What do you think about that?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2017 at 6:39 am

you have to set a limit on until when you would wait for him to unblock you.. If he doesn’t unblock you at v that time, then you should move on
Nala

December 28, 2016 at 6:50 pm

Found out the reason for the blocking; my ex has a new girlfriend. He doesn’t know that I know. I’m quite devastated. Why on earth would he be texting with me, saying he misses me and wants to spend time with me if he has a new girl!?! Are all men full of shit..? Well, at least I know the reason now. I’ m not sure if I can get over this and my ex seemed very happy, so I guess it’s time for me to move on and forget about him.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 30, 2016 at 7:17 am

Ok, take time and think about what you really want.
Nala

December 23, 2016 at 7:53 am

Hi Amor, I really wanted to wish my ex a Merry Christmas, but I guess it’s not a good idea since I’m still blocked. I’ve been blocked for 3 weeks now and I’m seriously beginning to think that my ex doesn’t want to be in contact with me anymore. I don’t think he is on his way to see me for New Years either, even though he said he would. I guess it’s time to move on or what do you think? Thanks for all of the advices so far and a Merry Christmas to you all!⭐️
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2016 at 6:18 am

Consider it like it’s better to not talk in the holidays..so you can have a restart
Nala

December 14, 2016 at 1:09 pm

Still blocked. So if he unblocks me, I shouldn´t let him know that I realized the blocking, right? Need to practice some patience then 😀 Find it hard to understand why he would block me, since everything was going well, but life goes on. I kind of made up my mind that I´ll move on if I don´t hear from him before New Year / if he doesn´t unblock me before that.
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2016 at 2:50 am

Yeah..I know it’s hard but stating you know he blocked you, shows you’re checking his account
Nala

December 9, 2016 at 8:33 pm

Hello, haven’t been in contact with my ex after he blocked me. It’s been a bit over a week now since the last contact. He unblocked me the following day, but today he seems to have blocked me again. I don’t quite understand it, what could be a reason for it? I had in mind to contact him tomorrow, since there’s a big event happening, which we both are interested in – but if I’m still blocked tomorrow I won’t naturally contact him. What do you think, would it be ok to contact tomorrow if I’m unblocked? If there will be a convo I definitely won’t ask if he has booked the trip to see me. I have been improving myself again and actually planning on going on a date with a new guy
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2016 at 9:15 pm

if you are unblocked yes, contact him because you’re not supposed to know if he blocked you or not.
Nala

December 1, 2016 at 7:17 pm

Hi Amor, things has been going really well with my ex. We´ve had good and long whatsapp convos and we both admitted that we miss each other. My ex has been praising how amazing I am and that he is really sorry for everything. We´ve been reminiscing our good times and he eagerly wants to come here for New Year – I haven´t pressured in any way or asked him if he is coming or not. He has been asking what I do for Xmas and what was the exact date of my bday. All of the sudden, today, he blocked me again on whatsapp. I don´t understand. Feel confused, since everything was fine. However he told me he has been feeling a bit down, because he doesn´t know what he wants in life. Even though he told me that I was supportive and we had a good convo and laughed about a lot of things. He said that I put a smile on his face and made him feel better as always. Anyway I think it´s rude to cut off the communication like that. My world didn´t fall apart, but I´m tired of these games. Once again I´m clueless :/
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 2, 2016 at 1:38 am

Let him be for now.. Don’t ask in other forms of communication..
Nala

November 17, 2016 at 8:12 pm

Hey again! We’ve been texting with my ex for a couple of days now about random funny things, e.g. my dog and asked for his opinion which dress to wear for a party. He was sorry he couldn’t be my date for the party and started apologizing again about how he ended things. Now he asked how I feel about him flying over to see me as friends! I can’t believe this Amor..! I told him I’m a bit confused, but I would like to be friends with him. He wants to book the flights as soon as possible. Wow!!! Should I say it’s fine? I never believed this day would come!!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 19, 2016 at 4:45 pm

Yeah..but dont go asking right away in person if you can get back together..just enjoy
Nala

November 15, 2016 at 7:35 am

Hey Amor, I didn´t send any messages to my ex after the end of October. I extended the mini NC and worked on myself instead. I kind of thought I wouldn´t hear from my ex again, but all of the sudden he messaged me yesterday and asked how I´m doing. We had a long and good convo. He admitted that he misses the good times and he never meant to hurt me. He said that he has never met anyone like me. He was also amazed by my kidness towards him. We agreed on the fact that maybe the timing wasn´t right when we met. He also asked if I met anyone else yet. I told I´ve been on a few dates, which I have, but it´s not what I´m looking for right now. I´m happy that he messaged me 🙂 any good tips how I should continue from this point?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 8:18 pm

Just keep it natural. Talk about what you can talk about but it’s best if you’re the one ending the conversations.
Nala

October 31, 2016 at 9:16 am

Hi Amor, I sent a message to my ex few days ago, but didn´t get a reply. He has read the message though. I asked what destination he chose for his holiday and added a link with some recommendations. The topic was current, because we were discussing about it in our previous convo and even joking about going going together on the trip. I know he is starting a new job today, would like to send a message and wish him good luck – but maybe it´s better to wait a week or so before trying to initiate again, or what do you think? Trying to figure out what could be an interesting message/topic. When should I give up trying and move on? I have been improving myself actively and didn´t “loose hope” even though I didn´t get a reply to my last message.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 12:21 am

yep, it’s better to wait a week before trying again.
Nala

October 23, 2016 at 9:47 am

Thanks for the advice. The problem is that he isn’t in social media. WhatsApp is our primary tool for communication, can change my profile picture, but can’t think of anything else how I can show that I have a life…should I start messaging again with a first contact type of message? I just feel awkward contacting after the blocking episode and feel like it was a sign that he doesn’t want to be in contact with me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2016 at 11:21 pm

just in case he gets curious, thrn he sees something there.. if you want to extend before trying, that’s ok
Nala

October 21, 2016 at 11:49 am

I sent a message a week ago, he didn’t reply and blocked me on whatsapp. Now he apparently unblocked me, but I’m confused and don’t know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2016 at 8:59 pm

make it two weeks before trying.. that’s good that unblocked you.. but you dont want him to think you’re just waiting for it..plus,.dont just wait, be active in social media..show him you have a life
Nala

October 18, 2016 at 7:31 pm

Hey, convos were going well and my ex was even flirting with me and hinting he was missing me, but all of the sudden he blocked me on whatsapp. Or at least that’s what I suspect. I’m confused and sad, what went wrong? Should I just give up trying, move on and forget about my ex? Would really appreciate some advice. Thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 20, 2016 at 4:43 pm

why, how many days has he been silent?
Nala

October 10, 2016 at 7:38 pm

Just a quick update on the situation. Felt miserable and hopeless, but decided to concentrate on improving myself, meditate and work out. Have been accepting things and moving on for real. Then out of the blue my ex messaged me today! We had a good chat and he wanted to continue the convo, but I ended it friendly 🙂 I wouldn’t have believed this day would come. Thanks for the advice and support! I’m taking it easy and following the next steps without any expectations though, but if something comes out of this, it’s going to make me super happy 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2016 at 11:40 am

That’s good! Thank you for updating us Nala!
Nala

October 3, 2016 at 9:44 am

Sent another message with a picture (he told me once what kind of tattoo he wants and found a poster which had exactly the kind of picture he has been talking about) and asked how he is doing, but no response. I feel stupid sending messages without getting any replies. I’m also doubting does these strategies work. Don’ t want to give up, but I’m struggling and doubting at the moment. Wrote already a goodbye letter, but haven’t sent it.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 4, 2016 at 6:42 pm

if he doesn’t reply again after resting for two weeks, that means it would be better to move on..
Nala

October 2, 2016 at 2:06 am

Thanks for the advice. Got a positive reply to my text within 5 minutes, but after my second text nothing. Can’t seem to get the conversation going, any tips for that?
Nala

September 30, 2016 at 3:51 pm

Sent a text regarding a football game, his favourite team against another team. It’s been already 6 days since that message. Don’t know what to text and I’m afraid he doesn’t reply to me. Kind of losing hope already and pretty sure my ex has moved on too..
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 1, 2016 at 5:39 pm

if he doesn’t reply to this one, wait two weeks before trying again. If he doesn’t reply to the one you will send after two week, then it’s time to move on. Use a topic that’s current
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 30, 2016 at 2:08 pm

commonly a memory text is when you’ve already built rapport.. what was the last text you sent? Try to wait for 3-5 days

Rose

September 26, 2016 at 6:13 am

Hi armor,

So my ex broke up with me a little over a month ago over a complete misunderstanding.
The Saturday night before this happened, I’d had a breakdown and had texted him to take my mind off things, however, he wouldn’t leave it alone and made me tell him what was going on. At first, he was really trying to be helpful and understanding and then all of a sudden, he told me he “can’t give me the advice I was seeking because he hardly knew me.” We’d been dating for a few months as well as we’d been talking for a couple months before getting into the relationship.. but I wasn’t asking for advice to begin with, just to distract me. He had also told me that night that he felt like I was trying to take things too fast, that he knew that I knew what I wanted but he felt like I was trying to speed up the process of getting there. I honestly don’t think I was, but I’m not saying he’s wrong because I don’t know how it came off on the receiving end of things. Anyway, he didn’t talk to me for 3 days after that (we usually talked almost everyday so this was unusual) and after a few times of trying to start a conversation, I got a little upset and thought he was ignoring me because of that Saturday night. So I’d texted him and told him that if he had a problem or was upset about something he needed to talk to me about it because ignoring me is immature and (this was probably unnecessary, but I told him that he wouldn’t find many other girls willing to put up with it). The day after I sent that text, he texted me and told me that his phone had been dead for 3 days and he didn’t have a charger because he wasnt home and none of the people he was with had an android charger. I chose to believe him because he’d never given me a reason not to trust him before and we’d talked for a little bit after that. The next day, he was leaving for college and I’d asked him before he left if I could see him since I wouldn’t be able to see him for a while and he said no because he wasn’t home.. a few hours later he texted me and told me that our relationship couldn’t continue because I’d called him immature (which I didn’t, just called the act of ignoring me immature) and that I had no reason to tell him that “he’d never find amother girl to put up with his crap” (which I understand was out of line, but he has said waaay worse to me before and I’d forgiven him). He’d told me “good luck withis finding a guy to put up with my crap and to have a nice rest of my day.”

SO our relationship didn’t end on the best terms, but I guess what I’m asking is whether there’s a chance he’ll come back and if there’s anything I can to do get him to. (I admit I have texted him a couple times since the breakup apologizing for my behavior and asking if we could talk, but he hasn’t replied. He has also blocked me on facebook and unfriended me on snapchat).

Rose

November 25, 2016 at 2:39 am

That sounds a lot better than asking him to talk while I still don’t know where we stand. And it sounds like we’ll be working with/seeing each other quite a bit in the next month so there’s plenty of time to test the waters. Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 27, 2016 at 2:47 pm

You’re welcome!
Rose

November 23, 2016 at 7:46 am

Hi.. so my comment from a couple days ago didn’t show up for some reason.. but anyway I’m scheduled to work with him on Saturday and I was thinking about asking him if he’d be willing to go somewhere and talk when we got off but I’m nervous about how this is all going to go and I don’t quite know how to go about asking him. It’s been 3 months since the breakup and a little over 2 1/2 months since I’ve attempted to make contact with him except for the little bit that we talked the day i worked with him back in October. One of our coworkers said she could feel the spark between us underneath the awkwardness and caught him watching me quite a bit that day so I believe the chemistry is still there. It seemed like he was just everywhere that I was or needed to be that day, yet he didn’t talk to me except for a tiny bit, just watched me. But one of our mutual friends talked to him a while ago and asked what happened and he said he just wasn’t happy in the relationship, which I find weird bc I can read him really well and he seemed happy the entire time except thE last week of our relationship (which you said he was probably pertaining to my breakdown).

Over the past 3 months I feel like I’ve really grown as a person and I’m a lot happier than I was. I know I’m going to be okay if things don’t work out but I really want them to. I really want him back, so I was just wondering if you had any advice for me? Thank you so much in advance!
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2016 at 3:27 pm

Why not try to just talk casually first..if it goes well, talk again next time..when there’s more rapport shoot the hard questions at the high point of a fun conversation
Rose

November 22, 2016 at 4:51 am

Hi amor,

It’s been a while. I’m scheduled to work with him on Saturday night and I was thinking of asking him if he’d be willing to go somewhere and talk after work but i’M really nervous and I don’t know how to go about it or if he’d even go for it. One of my best friends had talked to him a little while ago and asked what happened and he said he just wasn’t happy in the relationship. I don’t know if I believe that because I can read him pretty well and he seemed happy the entire time until the last week (which like you said he was probably pertaining to the breakdown I had). It’s been 3 months since the breakup and a little over 2 1/2 months since I’ve attempted to reach out to him except for the little bit we talked the last time I worked with him. In that time I feel like I’ve grown as a person and I’m a lot happier than I was. I know I’m going to be okay if things don’t work out, but I really want them to. I really want to be with him. Any advice?
Rose

October 17, 2016 at 3:07 am

He still hasn’t unblocked me or anything on any social media and I haven’t tried messaging him in quite a while but I figure we probably just need some time. Hopefully things will work themselves out..
Rose

October 17, 2016 at 3:05 am

I worked with him today.. things were kind of awkward, but at least he didn’t completely ignore me like I was expecting. We made small talk a little bit and I said something once and he gave me one of his “you’re crazy” looks that he’d always give me when we were together and I was being weird.. he only ever uses it on me, it made my heart stop for a second today lol.. and as he was leaving he stopped and turned around and looked me in the eyes and told me to take care and I melted. I’m really glad things weren’t as bad as I thought they’d be, I was expecting the worst!
Rose

September 29, 2016 at 7:03 pm

Sounds good, thank you!
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 1, 2016 at 12:29 pm

You’re welcome!
Rose

September 26, 2016 at 2:30 pm

How long do you think? 30 days? Or ashould long as it takes for him to message me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 27, 2016 at 9:51 am

Yeah, I think you should do 30 days and then just continue imoroving while building rapport with him
Rose

September 26, 2016 at 6:21 am

I should also mention that we work together, even though he only comes back about once a month because of college, we just haven’t been scheduled together yet. But seeing me is pretty much inevitable. He also told our boss when she’d asked what was going on that I was “clingy” (even though I don’t think I was because I was just giving him the amount of attention a significant other should while still having my own life and doing my own thing as well).
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 26, 2016 at 12:33 pm

Hi Rose,

I think he’s pertaining to the breakdown.. Yes, there is a chance because you work together.. but it would be better if you just start no contact now and work on not having a break down again or addressing the issue why that happened.

Hanna

September 26, 2016 at 12:39 am

Hoping for a little advice
SO me and my ex broke up about a month ago, we were in a long distance relationship for about 7 almost 8 months, during those months we saw each other 3 times, where i would fly down and spend no less than a week with him. We talked about everything, from marriage and kids to things i never opened up to with anyone before, i honestly believe he is my soulmate. All of a sudden it was as if he realized that it was a long distance relationship and it suddenly became very hard for him, his reasoning was that “he couldn’t be in a relationship where he didn’t see the other person” HIs messaging became one sentenced or he would only reply with one word, he would go days without replying and i felt him growing distant. We both avoided having “the talk” that maybe we should just end it, until i eventually grew tired of the one wordedness that i sent him a text message (i know it would have been better through the phone, but i felt like i would break down and not be able to say what i wanted to say) In the text i thanked him for everything that he did for me, told him i cared about him that i always would and to take care. He replied with an equally long message saying “best of luck”. Fast forward a week to me sending that he sent me a message saying that “He missed me and that he was thinking of me constantly and that he hoped i was doing great”. We talked for a bit then i flat out asked him why he sent me that message, was he just checking in orr? he admitted that he was checking in because he cares about me and worries about him, i told him to stop that his messages were sending my emotions into a tailspin and that its not helping me move on, he said he would stop messaging me “Goodbye, and the He really does love me” i haven’t hearf from him since
About 2 weeks ago he re-added me as a friend on snapchat, i added him when we first started being in a relationship, i don’t have him on any other social media except that one, i unfriended him because i don’t want to see his snap stories but mine is open to everyone so he can see mine. I see that he watches my stories almost as soon as i post them, and its getting really hard, ill post a something then check to see if he’s watched it.
I thought it would be easy to move on because were so far from each other, but its actually taking a toll on me emotionally, i really miss him, even just talking to him, and i want to message him but i don’t know what to say, I’m also afraid that he’s possibly started to move on and started seeing someone new, i just feel lost, any advice would be helpful!

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 26, 2016 at 11:13 am

Hi Hanna,

if you want to try it again with him, move as if he has already moved on from you. But first do you want to start the count for no contact? Even though you haven’t talked for days now, you didn’t actually focus in improving yourself and making it seem you are moving on.. And then after that initiate contact and slowly build rapport. I think you should do 30 days.

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