Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Venus

September 25, 2016 at 4:30 pm

Dear Amor,

I know this is a long message but its been a six year struggle. Please help! I’ve been trying to find a situation like mine on this site and sadly can’t find something similar. Please help my situation as it is a quite difficult one.

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up six years ago. We were together for three years when we were in highschool and madly inlove, our entire relationship fit and our honeymoon phase lasted the entire three years. He broke up with me after two years of being together, his reason being that we can’t get married due to different families (a problem in my culture), but quickly came back the next day feeling very sorry and regretting his decision. After we got back together I was so hurt we were also doing long distance more than 16 hour flight so it was hard to reconnect. I fell for my bestfriend and cheated on my boyfriend. He found out and we broke up, it was then that I realized the gravity of my mistake and regretted it from that moment on. He was so hurt I completely broke him, he asked to get back together a month later and I rejected him because I thought we both needed space- I didnt want him to be crazy jealous or change the nature of our once extremely harmonious relationship. Its been six years since that, and I have been in a relationship with one other guy, No matter how many guys come and go, I can never get my ex out of my mind and my heart, I can never stop comparing anyone to him because in my heart hes all I want. He on the other hand, has never had a girlfriend after me, just flings. Weve been talking on and off throughout the six years, meeting up and kissing everytime we saw each other, then he would ghost. I blocked him from all social media because I started feeling used. Wed go months without speaking and whenever i came home or he came home from the holidays wed see each other and all the feelings would rush back.

This year things are different. I finally came back home after finishing my bachelors degree and hes been working here for a few years. After sux years, were finally in the same country again. He started talking to me again but also very on and off, some days he does some he doesnt. He makes plans to hang out on the weekends, and whenever we do hes so sweet and romantic and says things like how beautiful I am how I clear his mind from all his work worries and how we fit perfectly, that he could kiss me forever he stares into my eyes and we just get along, he also bought me gifts from his travels. After he sees me he GHOSTS! I saw him 3 days ago and he hasnt texted me. I cant help but feel used again, I want us either to have a formal relationship where we can respect one another and speak normally and everyday. Or nothing at all, I dont want to be confused anymore and at the same time I really want to win him over, make him crazy about me as he once was, and i guess pretends to be. I feel like we are soulmates.. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 7:11 pm

Hi Venus,

Have you talked to him about it? Not in accusing way but just being calmly honest about asking why he’s been doing that for years?

J

September 20, 2016 at 8:16 pm

Hey Amor

I’m starting to get confused. So my ex and I have been back in contact for about a week and a half. I’ve spoken 5 days out of this and as u know, the convos have been pretty good. He’s pretty engaged and the convos rnt long but they aren’t short either. I’m confused because twice I ended the convo by ghosting because I fell asleep. Both times when I try to continue the conversation the next day, he does not respond. This just recently happened today. He started talking about his fav tv show last night, I fell asleep, then I asked a question about it today around noon and he didn’t respond but he watched my snap and posted a lot on social media. It’s been almost 4 hrs. Idk what to think or what to do about this. Help :/

J

September 26, 2016 at 6:26 pm

Aww yayy! Lol more good news, he asked me to be his gf again when I saw him last night. We had a talk about the break up (he brought it up) and he admitted the reason he did it was because he didn’t feel like a man since he didn’t have any money or a job at the time. This was what I thought all along but he originally downplayed this issue during the break up. I told him if we get back together, he can’t just break up everytime he’s going thru something because in the long run, there’s always going to be times when he’s not (or I’m not) at his best. He said he was actually thinking that same thing and realized that while we weren’t talking. So he agreed saying that’s not how he wants to handle things in the future. Since we’re still young (just 21) I understand why he broke up and like his thought process but I’m also glad he learned that’s not the way to handle it every time. So he can get a pass on this one lol. So yea! We’re back together! Yayyyy!
Most definitely couldn’t have done it without u Amor. The ultimate magical breakup fairy lol 🙂 . U are really special in the way u support all of us that come here because u honestly have our best interest. And of course I have to thank Chris for the awesome guides! Another success story for u guys. My journey is just starting tho 😛 THANK U!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 27, 2016 at 4:03 pm

Awwwww! I’m really, really happy you got him back! And the work is mostly done by you… We just gave on opinion! Congratulations! More happiness for the both of you! 🙂
J

September 25, 2016 at 5:04 pm

Thank u! 😀 and yea I want him to be the one to ask. I’m being mindful not to rush. As my break up journey comes closer to an end, I’m going to miss talking to u Amor. I feel like we’ve built a little bit rapport lol 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 7:15 pm

No problem J! Awww!! It’s bittersweet! Well, you can keep talking to me about anything here anytime! 🙂
J

September 24, 2016 at 2:42 pm

AMOR!! OMG! So I can say so much but I’ll try to sum it all up.
At first I didn’t think he was going to come with his bro and I because he wouldn’t answer the phone. But eventually around 5 he finally did, saying he was asleep and still wanted to come.
It was clear he didn’t really know how he should act at first since this was the first time we’d seen each other since the actual break up but I gave him a hug, which he held. Then we went to the mall and just walked around. He talked a lot about memories because we used to walk around the mall a lot when we were together. He started to walk closer to me as time went on, almost like he wanted to hold my hand but wasn’t sure if he should. He said he and his friend were talking about the day he first met me, when he tried to holler at me 2 yrs before we got together but I kept walking (I actually don’t remember that but all of his friends do). He started to call me “his girl” but then corrected himself and said “ex”.
After that, we all sat in my car for a while and talked (this is probably when I should have left but his bro wasn’t ready to go home yet and neither was he). He told me he liked my hair and started playing in it, play fighting me, finding any reason to touch me.
We ended up walking to a playground. He carried me over the grass twice because it was wet and I had on sandals. We sat on the swings and just joked around.
Finally when we left, i took him home first. I dnt do that awkward car hug lol so I got out to hug him bye. He said “alright babe- I mean- my bad, u know..”. I just laughed a little and said it was ok. He hugged me again. Then he told me it was really nice seeing me again and he really missed me. Then he kissed me. *screams with joy*
It was just like our first kiss because it happened the exact same way! The only reason we stopped was because his bro leaned out of the car and said “what are y’all doing.. are y’all kissing??” Haha. I was the one to pull away tho. Anyway, he said he def wanted to see me again and def will be talking. He finally texted me first this morning saying “*2 kiss emojis* good morning. I missed u babe”
Amorrrrr this is awesomeeee! We’re not officially back together yet but it sure seems close!
Thank u soooo much for everything! I’ll keep u and the team updated on progress until it’s official. THANK U! Xoxo
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 25, 2016 at 7:50 am

I’m very, very happy for you J!! Just take it slow ok? Enjoy it, don’t rush into asking him if you’re back together but it’s a very, very good sign and you handled it well!
J

September 22, 2016 at 8:06 pm

With the first one, it’s possible that it may have just died. He just never replied and I started a new convo a few days later. The second time, he ended up txting me like wayyyyyy later but didn’t even answer my question (about his fav show). I just didn’t react and continued talking for a short time.
His brother talked to me about us all hanging out again and somehow I ended up being left with the duty to ask my ex if he wanted to come with us. It went well, I made it sound like a simple hang out. He responded pretty fast for him saying “yea that sounds good”. So he shouldddd be coming, I’m nervous to get my hopes up tho but I’m trying to be positive that he won’t back out. We talked a little more and he was being positive and joking around. After that he asked me what I was doing the next day, kind of like he wanted to see me earlier but I was busy so I really couldn’t. He didn’t respond and we havnt talked since then. That was Tuesday (2 days ago) but I am still active online and he’s still looking at my snaps. I took this time to kind of put myself in check because I feel like I’m starting to get too emotional (I havnt shown him any of that tho!)
Tomorrow is the hangout with his brother. I think we’re going to the mall and possibly the movies after. I got this new outfit that should be delivered tomorrow morning just in time (black jumpsuit and a red kimono/cardigan. Thanks Jennifer for the “what to wear” video!) and I’m also doing my hair in the morning as well. Tonight I’m going to just mentally prepare. Hopefully all goes well! I’ll keep u updated
Send me plenty fairy dust lol xoxo
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 4:13 pm

Enjoy!!!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 22, 2016 at 6:01 pm

With the first one that he ignored it, did he just replied late or he moved on to another topic? Because maybe for him, that topic just died the night before.. And if it was at night, I think he’ll probably realize that you fell asleep.. especially when you tried to continue that topic

Elly

September 19, 2016 at 3:59 pm

Hey Amor
My ex and I of three years broke up via text due to a communication misunderstanding back in july. Since then he gradually went from ‘I want to fix this’ to ‘I don’t have feelings for you anymore’ however when I ask how his feelings could have just disappeared his answer is ‘i don’t know, they just have’. I struggle to believe this as our relationship was very serious and positive up untill the last month or so – I think it is because we’ve both had a tough year, and haven’t spent any positive quality time together since January, which I feel is enough to make anyones’ feelings subside regardless if they were lovers, couples or married. He over emphasizes that he still cares about me and wants us to be close friends, although he refuses to see me or talk over the phone? I feel as if he is avoiding me but I don’t understand why as if he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore why does it matter? However he is willing to call as soon as I threaten to cut him off. Our last conversation (last monday) was a long Q&A for me to have closure and I asked many q’s but the ones that stood out for me was if he was ever unhappy in the relationship he said no, if there was any needs I wasn’t fulfilling for him or another girl involved to which he said no and whether he regrets us to which he also said no (which confused me because then, why are we breaking up?) and his inability to give me an actual reason as to why his feelings have “vanished”. He began to get uncomfortable with the conversation stating that he didn’t like it or the questions (but couldn’t tell me why) and developed an attitude, stating that it doesn’t change anything etc even though I had explicitly said that i’m not trying to get him back (even though I want to) and I needed this for closure. He repeatedly stated that he will always care about me and then apologized for his attitude, stating that he doesn’t want to talk to anyone (in a bad place) and the only reason why his phone is in his hand is because of me, and the only reason why he isn’t ignoring me is because he doesn’t know what I’m going to do if he does (cut him off).
In the end I wished him well (in case we never spoke again) and told him that I’m not going to contact him first anymore, due to feeling like a nag, but warned that if he left ‘space’ for too long then I would learn to live without him and won’t want him back in my life, to which he gave thanks and appreciation
I think its important to note that since then, he really hasn’t been on his phone at all but thanks to the beloved internet I know hes been out with his friends quite a lot who, I think its important to note, are going to university this week.
If my theory is right (the lack of quality time), I think that if we were to meet up and have a positive time together, his feelings will rush back to him as the fact that he honestly doesn’t know why his feelings have gone, he still cares strongly for me and is bending his rules to make sure I don’t leave his life suggests that there really isn’t a solid reason for their disappearance (the break up was really stupid), and is the only reason why I’m considering trying to get him back.
My main question is what should I do? and what do my chances look like in terms of rekindling us and am I just completely misreading the situation?

Lots of love,
Elly T

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 2:19 pm

Hi Elly,
I think he lost desire with you.. that doesnt mean he doesnt love you anymore but it’s like he’s taking you for granted.. I think you should check this:
The “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You” Video

Rachel

September 19, 2016 at 12:16 pm

After a short, wonderful 3 month relationship, I had a very drunk night with him and other friends, said and did stupid things (so I was told), he broke up with me. I deserved it, I think. I didn’t beg or cry. Immediately went into no contact. Did 30 days. Sent the first text remembering the good old days. He replied fairly positively in 15 min. I waited 30 to respond and closed the conversation. 2 days later, I sent “you won’t believe what happened yesterday”! Silence. Now what?!?! Wait a week then…. Why would he give me a positive response then nothing. So sad. Yes, it was a short relationship, but at my age, you know a good thing when you see it.

Rachel

October 5, 2016 at 4:21 pm

Well, I waited 9 days. Sent a funny, interesting text, and silence once again. So, in summary, after 30 days no contact, I texted. He responded quickly, positively and asked how I was. I responded and ended the conversation. I waited a few days, texted again. No response. Waited, texted again, got a short response, I texted back, he ignored. Waited 9 days, tried again, ignored. I think I look like I’m chasing. I don’t want to try again for some time if at all. I don’t want to chase him nor have him think I am. But if there is any chance down the line to try again, I want to position myself in that place. What do I do to increase my chances without looking pathetic? Or, is it just time to give up?
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 7, 2016 at 3:14 pm

It’s time to move on.. Because it’s been 3 attempts, that means it’s better to move on.
Rachel

September 23, 2016 at 2:39 pm

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it. How long should I go silent again? Again, I’m in no hurry here and will wait as long as I need to improve my chances. When I do text again, go back to a memories text? Maybe say I was at a bar playing pool where he and I had a fun date and it made me think of him?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 24, 2016 at 12:59 pm

If you have already done that, don’t use it again as a first contact text.. But if you haven’t that’s ok.. Hmm.. try a week..
Rachel

September 23, 2016 at 8:40 am

I waited 3 hours, replied asking a couple of additional questions about the divorce trial, and again, no response yet. So, he is writing me back on occasion, but obviously not eager to do so. How to I change the tide? Can I actually change how he views me or his desire to talk to me?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 23, 2016 at 11:38 am

Rest from texting and I think you need to avoid the divorce topic. It’s not really something he would be excited in talking about. And it looks like you were just waiting for it to be done to have a chance with him. Use topics that he loves talking about, especially the ones that are current like tv shows, friends, news.
Rachel

September 22, 2016 at 11:52 am

So he wrote back, a day later, but with a very bland response. Didn’t say hello. Good morning. Nothing. He just told me the court result in 2 sentences. Didn’t reference the being friends or anything else. Game plan now? Back off for a while? Gut says yes.
Rachel

September 21, 2016 at 8:50 pm

Absolutely. And showing it on Snapchat and Facebook. Being positive. Going out with friends and other men but not in an obvious way; just pics of me, my girls, and other men. Again, I know I’ll be fine. He’s not the last man on earth, but I’m very picky and don’t date many men. This was the one I felt so right about which is why it’s hard to let it go. I’m 41. Never been married. Turn away almost all men. Finally let this one in because my gut said yes!

I sent, “Hey! I just want you to know you were absolutely right to end our relationship. It wasn’t the right time. But I really would hate to also lose our friendship! And, I must say, I’m dying to know how the divorce went! That’s pretty much all we talked about for 3 months and curiosity is KILLING ME!!! What happened?!?!? “. And….no response.
Rachel

September 19, 2016 at 1:32 pm

I’m going to add a few more details here. My drunken episode happened 2 days before his divorce trial; a very ugly divorce with an unstable woman. The trial was 1.5 years after filing. Based on how she treated him and the stress he was under, I didn’t think he was ready to date again but he assured me otherwise. What I said while drunk was not good, but should have been Forgivable. But I’m sure he just wasn’t able to deal with it considering everything else. When he ended it, it wasn’t ugly. He said he enjoyed his time with me and had no regrets. I said the same. I’m willing to wait as long as I need to for him. I have good willpower. I live an hour from him. Should I do another month? Or more? Should I text him saying something like, “you were right to have ended our relationship, but I would hate to lose our friendship. I’d love to catch up sometime! (maybe add something about hearing how divorce went/ended up). Help!!
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 21, 2016 at 1:42 pm

Hi Rachel,

Yeah, I think you can send that as reverse friendzoning him..are you continually improving yourself?

Emily

September 18, 2016 at 1:50 pm

My boyfriend of two years broke up with me on August 31st because of his depression. He had been a bit off in the few months before the break up and was not putting in any effort and seemed bored of me. He said that we had no future, he didn’t love me anymore and that he doesn’t want to be tied down because he turns 18 in a few months and wants to go out clubbing. He sent me a text two days after saying he is going on medication and needs at least 6 weeks for it to start working and he needs to get himself sorted before he is with someone. He said I should not wait for him and he wants me to move on. I kept sending him messages and he’s ignored them all, he blocked me on snapchat and our parents swapped our belongings so we didn’t have to see each other. I have decided to start the no contact rule and have not contacted him for nearly a week, but I just want him to want me back. His medication would have kicked in around the third week of October so I was going to wait until then to message him again to see how he is doing and whether he would like to rebuild what we used to have. However he is talking to another girl now and I’m really scared that he will have moved on if I wait for him. I just want him back and I love him so much, I have never felt pain like this and I don’t know what to do.. please help me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 3:05 pm

Hi Emily,

I dont think it’s about his depression…Even if he’s not depressed, he said he was bored and he’s turning 18.. Looks like a grass is greener case.. Read this one: The Grass is Greener Syndrome For Ex Boyfriends

Zoe

September 18, 2016 at 7:30 am

I broke up with my boyfriend two years ago because I chickened out on committing properly, and because we have all the same friends we would see eachother at parties and we were still very close mainly because he was still very in to me. He was clearly still massively in to me for about a year and a half after we broke up, we would text eachother all the time, but lately he’s stopped talking to me, and I’ve suddenly realised I never stopped liking him at all, I was just scared of committing to him. But now I like him so much and I desperately want him back.
Please help what should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 1:44 pm

Hi Zoe,

but you still see other?

Rose

September 17, 2016 at 3:48 pm

My ex broke up with me saying that it would be the best for both of us. I completed over 30 days of no contact. However last night he text me with a hey. I haven’t responded. Think I’ll wait for over a day to respond. What do you suggest and what should I say? I want him back and I want him to be serious about me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 4:15 pm

Hi Rose,

why did he break up with you? And, don’t rush things.

R

September 17, 2016 at 3:13 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me three days ago. He said he felt that we were growing apart and that he wanted to be honest with me. He said he didnt feel that he could provide me with the type of relationship I deserved. He said we were just different, and even though he always knew that now he thought we were just heading in different trajectories in life. He said it wasnt me and that I should never blame myself in any way shape or form. I told him i loved him and he said he loved me too and even if it was awkward or weird he still wanted to be there for me if I needed him. I asked why he was leaving then. I asked him if it was that he loved me he just wasnt in love with me any more. And he said no that wasnt it. I asked him if we could try to fix it and work on us but he said no because he just didnt feel as passionately about the relationship anymore. We met up briefly the following day and talked about being friends because we both want to have each other in each other’s lives. I can’t imagine not talking to him.

I’m afraid if I try NC for 30 days he’ll just forgot about me/ move on/ realize he doesn’t need me instead of miss me

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 4:14 pm

Hi R,

how would he miss you if you remain present?

Ana

September 17, 2016 at 4:23 am

I’ve texted my ex twice this week for the first time in over a month and he responds but he never texts first. How to I get him to text first? how long should I keep texting him first before I should give up on him ever making the first move?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 11:01 am

Hi Ana,

you’re just starting to build rapport, so it’s just normal that he wouldn’t text first, especially if the texts was not ended in a way that he would be intrigued to talk to you again…what’s more important is that you’ll be the one to end the convos at high point

Safiya

September 17, 2016 at 12:27 am

Hi,
I did the NC for 32 days. I sent a memory texted, he laughed, mentioned how fun that day was and went on to asking how I was, work, life, etc. 7 ended the convo by saying “I’m on my way to a dinner party, maybe we can catch up sometime soon” I felt like I blew it by saying that. He responded telling me “Have fun, and sure we can definitely do that” I waited a few days and texted again, he said “Damn, hearing from you twice in one week” IDK how to take that, we texted for a while, great convo, he texted last but then I fell asleep. The next day (today) I texted “sorry I fell asleep, good morning btw” he responded “it’s no problem and good morning” I haven’t said anything else. Idk what to do next. I want to see him. Feel the energy, gauge what my chances are. Idk how to proceed. Any tips? Advice?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 19, 2016 at 9:13 am

Hi Safiya,

take that as a good sign.. If he didn’t want to talk you, he wouldn’t have answered. Focus more on your topics, on what you talk about and build rapport first before asking for a meet up

Charity

September 16, 2016 at 4:10 pm

Hi Amor,
I couldn’t help it and sent him another text (3 texts in 1 day), asking if my reaching out made him uncomfortable. Silence again. Is my situation really hopeless? Should I close the door on this one? There is still a part of me wanting to reach out one more time. What do you think?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 2:55 pm

Rest from texting for a week, and then initiate again after that. If he doesn’t reply, rest for two weeks and then initiate again. If he doesn’t reply again, that means you have to move on.

megan

September 16, 2016 at 12:16 am

My boyfriend who I lived with for almost 7 years broke up with me in a text after we had a stupid argument july 31st. He told me he could not stand the fighting, arguing, me wanting my way all the time, and he was tired of me saying everything was mine because it was in my name or I paid for it in front of other people. We knew each other as teenagers but were only friends, we got together 7 years ago after we got back in touch on facebook when I was moving back to the area, we were both getting divorced too. I found pictures and texts to 2 other girls on his phone after he moved out (phone was in my name, as well as his car, our house, etc.) He says they didn’t have sex, but he made similar promises to one girl (who according to him is having problems with her abusive husband and has a 3 year old kid) that he made to me 7 years ago. Since breaking up I of course have been an emotional wreck, texting him, trying to call him, see him, we have seen each other a few times, and had sex 3 times. He has said he cares about me, and loves me, but is not “in love with me” and does not know if we will get back together because he has to focus on his job and him now. I have had thought he cheated a few years ago, but he denied it. He and his ex wife lost a baby who was stillborn at 21 weeks, she went into depression and left him a few months after that. I found out I was pregnant with an ectopic pregnancy last month, they estimated it was conceived 2 weeks before our breakup while I was on birth control, I had to decide in the office while texting him to get a shot to terminate it. He convinced me to take the shot for my health. He came to see me the next day, and a few after that was the first time we had sex after breaking up and it was nice. Then I didn’t hear from him for days, then I he texted, but was very guarded with me. He saw me again a week later, we had sex again, it was nice, then no contact for several days again. I had to get a 2nd shot to terminate the pregnancy, he became distant again. I went away for a few days the last week of august with my daughter, then we texted again. I saw him when I got back briefly, told him my daughter was mad because she thought he treated me bad and that’s why she has not been so close to him and grouchy in recent months before the break up, and he used that as another excuse to back away again saying he could not try to work things out and have to deal with her attitude towards him (she just turned 15, the other daughter lives with my ex husband for past 2 years and is 17). Just when I thought we were making a little progress he backs away again. I don’t know if he is bipolar (his sister is), or a sex addict, or has issues from his marriage he never dealt with. I am a nurse, so my concerns are not just because he broke up with me, but make sense to me as a reason for all of his past moods and behaviors. He moved back to his parents an hour away with his 2 brothers, and sister who are all over 21. I think they might be influencing his decisions also. I know I have made mistakes, admitted it to him, begged him for another chance and to go to counseling, he said that does not work, he has admitted some things to me, he said I made him feel worthless because everything was in my name, and I needed him to do things for me and have him as my chauffer. I don’t know what to think. I have told a few friends, heard their advice. I cant help that I still love him, and want to try a work things out, especially after just a month before the break up he bought me a birthday card that pretty much said he was glad we met because we were soulmates. I don’t know if no contact would work with him, or what to do. I don’t want to push him away and into anothers arms. Please advise me. I don’t know if I can get over this heartache, it is way worse than my ex-husband cheating on me after being married for 10 years. I really believe in my heart that we can work things out, and be happy.

megan

September 18, 2016 at 9:54 pm

In my case, since we have been talking (mostly via text) and its been going ok, not great, but ok, do you suggest no contact? Or do you think he will take it as an insult, or a sign that I am not interested in working things out anymore? I don’t know what to do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 5:58 pm

I think he will think you got tired.. because if he really wanted to work things out with you why didn’t he want to go to counselling? You tried. Shouldn’t he be trying as well?
If I were you, for him not to take me for granted, I’d take a chance on no contact and tell him that I understand him now, I’d apologize if I made him feel any less and that I know now that he needs his time for his own growth because now, I need my time to heal because I’m not ready to be just friends yet, but when I am, I’ll reconnect.
And then I’ll do nc.. continue to heal and improve..
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 3:04 pm

Hi Megan,

We can’t guarantee that the no contact will work but I think he felt emasculated. It’s normal for him to still want to have sex with you because he’s a man and that means he’s still physically attracted to you but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t tired of being in a relationship with you..

Ask yourself, if you keep talking would it help to build rapport? If you do nc, would it help to have a restart?

Charity

September 15, 2016 at 7:31 pm

Hi Amor,
So I sent him a “how are you?” text followed by “can I get your advice about something…” but still no response, just like the first time last time. This is my second time reaching out to him after no contact. Is this a sign that I should give up on trying to re-establish communication? I do not know what else to do.
Shana

September 15, 2016 at 11:35 am

So I finally texted me ex after over a month of nc (he never texted me during this time) and I will admit instead of using a super exciting ice breaker text, I sent him a short message that basically said “I’m sorry for putting pressure on you, I’m doing much better and have lots of cool stuff going on, and i hope you are too.” He responded and asked what cool stuff I’d been up to, and the next morning I saw it and we texted ok and off that weekend (not ALL weekend as we were both busy so it was drawn out… Mistake maybe? I ended that convo because I had to go to a 5k but when I tested him later he replied only once then stopped. I used some good memories and unintentionally a little jealousy. Then three days later (yesterday) I tried playing would you rather with him because it was a game we loved playing together while we dated but he didn’t seem that into it, his responses were mostly (but not all) “neutral.” Why do u think that is? That conversation did end short tho because after about an hour I stopped texting back because I got in a bad car accident. Long story. But besides the conversation being too long (my bad) what else can I do? My plan is to text him briefly every three or so days, but what do I do if he never initiates conversation? Also, I sent him a fb friend request again, because I had unfriended him, but I saw that he rejected it. Why? My friend said there’s nothing on there he would need to hide.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 1:41 pm

Hi Shana,

I think you’re rushing things.. And I think he can sense you’re trying to get him back.. how are you now?

Lokiijai

September 15, 2016 at 12:34 am

I am on day 7 of NC. My boyfriend broke up with me due to a severe over reaction/miscommunication wherein I told him he was acting like a child. I tried to smooth it out the next morning and he said he never wanted to talk to me again. I have honoured that request despite my obvious confliction. He is also a very stubborn man and I can predict will not be the first to give in. I have gone the direction of posting “casual” Snapchats and Instagram stories to create the facade of normalcy without him. Day 5 was the last day he’s viewed my snapchats, but continued to post his activities. I am assuming he has called trump and either refuses to watch my feed or possibly blocked me. Is this good and what is my next move if 30 days elapse? I am normally the one to initiate reconciliation but feel it is unfair but that could be my sense of entitlement or pride. The trouble seems to be our stubbornness and pride are of equal forces.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 2:35 pm

HI Lokiijai,

I hope he has cooled off after 30 days. Yes, it’s still good news that he stopped viewing your snaps because it might be because he’s still affected by it. Initiate contact after 30 days.

Victory

September 14, 2016 at 3:17 am

Hello Amor,
We had broke up with my ex one month ago, next week gonna be 30 days of no contact. I’m preparing my first message, and doing everything to be unforgettable girl. But I have a question, we have no way to meet accidentally, we don’t have same friends and we are not friends on Facebook or anything else. The only way to see each other is to ask him about it. How many days is it better to take between first message and meeting face to face? Thank you
La'Niya Chatman

September 14, 2016 at 2:26 am

me and my boyfriend broke up because we was in different school and we didn’t know we was going to see eachother in school then when I wanted him back he said i have a lot of boys trying to go out with me but he don’t know what’s going on up there and my other friend text him about me he told her he still love me and he misses me but he has another girlfriend he feels bad

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 17, 2016 at 11:28 am

Hi La’Niya,

you went to different colleges? When did you break up and how long were you together? When was the last time you talked?

Karen VELANDIASALCEDO

September 12, 2016 at 8:29 pm

Hello,

Today was my 31 day of NC, I decided to send him a text saying something about what I saw that reminded me of him. He replied 30min later telling me that of course he did remember and started asking questions about my new job… We kept talking for a little while and he said that he was happy for me and my new job. In the same text, he asked, “What do you want me to do with the stuff you have in my house? I replied and we ended up setting up a date to go to his house in 4 days, only to pick up my stuff… I don’t know what to think about this, how I should act or what to expect.

Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 2:36 pm

Hi Karen,

look you best. Be calm and light and take that as an opportunity to break the ice so that it would be easy to text him

J

September 12, 2016 at 7:16 pm

I was looking for my comment in moderation to reply to to keep everything together but it went away haha. I was just gonna say I may have spoken too soon. I did leave the convo on a high note early last night and then responded to what he had said this morning. He made a joke and I made a joke back. But he hasn’t responded to it. However, he did watch the snaps I posted later today tho.
I’m not discouraged just yet but of course I’m wondering what he could be thinking. I thought my text would make him want to respond but then again, i guess it didn’t really require one. I’ll still wait a couple days to text again and continue to be active on social media

J

September 18, 2016 at 6:34 pm

Thanks Amor 😀 you’re so awesome!
Keep sprinkling fairy dust to us all lol
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 20, 2016 at 5:16 pm

Lol! 😉
J

September 16, 2016 at 3:49 pm

I was thinking maybe I should do a story txt next time to confirm how interested he is in what I have to say and I think it’ll also paint me in a good light. It’s about how I got a flat tire last week trying to buy food for this homeless guy. I’ve planned it and broken it into 6 shorter messages. Let me also add that we both dnt really like talking on the phone. I won’t text him today since I’m not sure how he took my last msg to him yesterday. Maybe tomorrow, or should I wait longer?
Also, his brother really wants us all to hang out for some reason. He’s been trying to convince me for about a week. He said when my ex told him he thinks we’ll get back together, he also said “she’s cool. I love her and have love for her. When we talk now it’s like we never fell off. I think we’ll get back together or one day in the future definitely” adding that there’s really nothing I’ve done wrong and he just needs to get his mind right first. (This is similar to what he told me during the break up). So with his brother bugging me so much about hanging out, I finally broke and just agreed. There’s nothing set yet but it’ll either be next Friday or the week after. He mentioned trying to go to the mall or the movies. He thinks my ex and I just need to see each other and it’ll answer everything. I’m just concerned cuz I dnt want my ex to start feeling pressured with his brother pushing for us to hang out along with him getting txts from me suddenly after a month. I guess I’m just scared he’ll find a reason not to come. Since we might be hanging soon, should I start to txt him everyday or every other day? I feel like since he does answer my txts positively, was really engaged sending longer txts this last time, even told his brother that he still loves me and believes we’ll def get back together, I should not be this worried! Lol I shouldn’t be worried at all possibly! The doubt starts coming in when he ends the convo and since he’s not txting me first.

Main questions:
1) is the story text good and how long should I wait to start it?
2) should I increase the # of days we talk a week since we may see each other soon?
3) is it ok to only build attraction thru txts and not calls since we rarely talked on the phone?
4) do I need to calm down Amor? Lol am I overthinking for no reason?

Sorry this was long. Thank u xoxo
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 18, 2016 at 2:46 pm

Haha! Yes, you need to calm down.. Go with the flow.. If you’re having good talks, just have fun.. Rest if you think it’s too much.. and enjoy that day.. look your best and just have fun
J

September 15, 2016 at 10:06 pm

So we spoke today about his job. Everything was going great. He was sending pretty long responses and pretty fast, responding every 1-7 min. We got up to around 7 txts each. He sent a pretty long txt about his next career steps. The last thing I said was “aww that’s great! I’m proud of u. I knew everything’d work out *little smile emoji*”. But he stopped responding.. Did I mess up? Or did he probably just think it didn’t need a response? I hope what I said wasn’t too much.. Do I have to wait 3-5 days again?
J

September 14, 2016 at 4:13 am

Last thing for today I promise lol. Since it crossed my mind, when it comes time to meet up, is it better to do the first meet as a group with other people (most likely his brother and his brother’s gf) or just my ex and I? I dnt want him to feel any pressure or anything so I’m not sure if his bro’s presence will make him feel more pressured or not. Especially since we’d probably be around another couple
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 6:26 pm

Just comment away 😉 No worries!
Yes, on starting a new convo if a topic has not been answered and yes, on the job topic.
That’s right, take it slow. Don’t jump right in because of that news. But it’s a very good news!

And yes, it’s best if the first and second meet up would be in a group setting.
La'Niya Chatman

September 14, 2016 at 2:33 am

Just do you.
J

September 13, 2016 at 9:19 pm

Another thing to add haha. My exes brother just txted me saying that he just got off the phone with my ex. He said my ex feels like we’re gonna get back together! Still going to wait to txt him tho.. Unless he txts me before I do :P. I can’t make it too easy for him Amor! Gotta leave that mystery for the chase! Lolll
J

September 13, 2016 at 4:57 pm

Yea I understand! And thanks, I’m trying to play this the best I can. So in the situations where he doesn’t reply to my open text (or when he may have just felt like it didn’t need a response) like this past time, I treat it as an ended convo and start the next time with a new topic?
Also, the first day we txted he told me he was at work but I didn’t ask anything about it and just answered the other question he asked. Is it a good idea to start the next convo with “hey, so tell me about this new job. I didn’t get to ask the other day lol”. And then should I boost his ego a little about his job? Like just be really positive and say things like “I knew it’d work out for u”. He didn’t have one when we broke up and it was one of the reasons he told me he wanted to end things
EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2016 at 3:47 pm

I don’t know too why emojis don’t show! haha! I think the website can’t support it? I’m not sure. You’re strategy is on point! The only thing I would add, is that, when you plan to skip one day. End a conversation before skipping one day. So, that you can start a new topic after skipping one day.. I don’t know if you’re getting what I’m saying. But basically, don’t leave an open conversation before skipping a day or two..

Charity

September 12, 2016 at 4:39 pm

Thank you Amor for the response. I want to ask him how he is doing, do you think this is ok to send as second reach-out text? Would it make me appear needy and desperate?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2016 at 1:28 pm

nope that’s ok! 🙂

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