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Post categories
sallyanne
June 26, 2016 at 8:44 am
Me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago. The initial break up was due to his depression. We stayed in contact for a while after but I founf it to hard. So we stopped talking for 5-6 weeks. Id told him I wanted nothing more to do with him and he respected my wishes and left me alone. We eventually got back in contact but he was cold and distant, so I didn’t really message him again. We bumped into each other a few weeks ago and drunkenly we ended up having an argument as I found out he was sleeping with his ex again. That has since stopped and hes started messaging me again. Its always over snapchat and nothing really too serious. Just random things and occasionally he wants my opinion on something. He doesn’t really ever ask anything about me. Hes said he enjoys talking to me but he doesn’t want anything serious. He messages me now near enough everyday. We spoke on the phone last week for half hour and had a really good positive conversation. I ended it on a high note and he messaged me straight after. I just don’t know what to do now. I said about just seeing how things go and he didn’t really respond to it. So what do I do? Do I continue chatting to him knowing he doesn’t want anything serious, hoping that he will change his mind?
SallyAnne
June 29, 2016 at 4:51 pm
I’ve been waiting to hear from him, so it’s whatever he messages me about that we discuss. But when he messaged me this week I was at work so wasn’t really able to talk much. How do I find out how he sees me? Or what he thinks?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 1, 2016 at 9:07 am
well, there’s no sure fire way to know what he thinks but basing on his actions then it means he doesn’t find you that interesting as of now.. Initiate a topic, that way the conversation doesn’t depend on him
SallyAnne
June 28, 2016 at 8:10 pm
Hi Amor, I did I changed what I wear I lost 2 stone in weight and I began doing things I didn’t do before. I haven’t been to the gym as much since we started talking again. But the last few days we’ve barely spoke and when we have its not been the free fun conversations we were having. So it doesn’t really go anywhere. But I don’t know how to get those other conversations going again.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2016 at 2:53 pm
it depends on the topics and timing of your text..if the topics you use are not interesting for him.. he probable wouldn’t be engaged that much.. and if you send it at the wrong time then he may reply late or forgwt about it.. it also depends on how he sees you..on what he thinks about you
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 28, 2016 at 12:27 pm
HI Sallyanne,
did you improve yourself and did you continue to do it now that you’re talking again?
LeeLee
June 22, 2016 at 11:34 pm
assistance needed:
after no contact 36 days, I decided to message him today, this is the message I sent ” Hey While unpacking, I stumbled across your brownies mix & your father’s day gift, and it made me think of you for the first time in a while.
To be honest it made me smile. ☺”
and here is his reply “Ok lol. Great glad u can smile”. would you say this is neutral and how should I proceed?
LeeLee
June 23, 2016 at 5:15 am
responds: with my job is going well and where did you move to was it the house you and I chose together?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 27, 2016 at 10:31 am
I think that’s an ok message for you to try to prolong the conversation.. but did he respond to that last message of yours?
mia
June 21, 2016 at 1:09 am
Hi, after two positive first messages got a problem. Asked Ex if he knew name of place we went to before and he said he “I remember that!” but then he misunderstood thought I was asking him out. grabbing a bite sounds really nice but that he was not ready :/ I said was asking cause was meeting friends and agreed “we need space” which was probably a mistake. What now? Can I still text or just stop… please let me know your thoughts.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 22, 2016 at 6:39 am
Hi Mia,.
since you agreed to have space.. give it.. don’t text him for two weeks
Jane
June 18, 2016 at 1:51 pm
Hi,
I was in a 3.5 years relationship. He is 6 years younger than me. We had a great relationship, we have passed a lot of phases together, 9 months long distance relationship. In the past 6 months we both had some personal problems which changed our relationship and spent less time together.
A month ago we had a fight and asked for some time to think. Five days later I asked him what he wanted, he was still confused, we discussed our problems he said he was not in a good phase and didn’t know if he had the courage to try more but we agreed to try. In the next two weeks I was trying by myself. I’ve changed some things based on what we have discussed but not all of them. He became distant. So 2 weeks ago we met in his house and started the discussion again. He was confused and said that I was pushing him to answer me if he wanted or not to be together. So after a long discussion he said that maybe we want different things from our lives and it was better to break up because things we would become worse. After that he said that he would ask me for a break and maybe it would make us better, but then again he insisted on breaking up.
After that I went NC for 5 days then texted him that I miss him and he said don’t start this, it doesn’t help none of us. It is what it is and it is not the right time to discuss again since nothing will change and relax. I said ok, when you feel ready I am waiting from you.Then I went NC again.
The problem is that we work together, we haven’t spoken at all, until yesterday when we met in coffee at work and started discussing like the old times about the job. He was funny and relaxed but then went cold again.
He is constantly publishing photos on snapchat and I do the same. We both see each others photos within minutes.
What should I do? I have understood the mistakes I made and I am sure of what I want, but I am afraid it is too late.
Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 19, 2016 at 12:22 am
Hi Jane,
restart nc.. you have to do a limited one.. don’t start small talks with him and be short and direct if he starts one but be polite.. start to improve your life and go out more with friends.. You should do at least 30 days.. only approach him about important matters
Maria
June 16, 2016 at 9:18 pm
Hi, everyone.
general break up of me beginning to show signs of hijacking his life and being too available for him.. he tried to cover with other excuses, but now after NC i see why he did it.
I started off by following the pro recovery guide.
i got to the story and cue and ended the conversation with not texting back to his reply, which i think really bugged him. I’m not happy about that… but i guess this is the strengths we have to go through.
I then waited two days as pro says and sent what i thought was a funny txt, but it he didn’t reply, i later found out he was away camping as he replied to my next txt after 4 days of NCafter that last txt and told me. We had a very short convo which he ended. I would always send a first txt out, but he would ask questions that i would answer, but he wouldn’t respond after that, even though i would ask him good questions. I got upset with this, so i thought going into a week no contact would reset things a little.
I txt earlier this week with an interesting text, to which he responded. I waited 30 mins before txting back the txt dynamic with 1 text for him and one for me. I’ve texted him every day for three days, all good and interesting conversations. A little bit of flirting. He has some stuff going on that’s getting him a bit down and I feel i give good advise and i think he feels better for talking about it with me. I have ended all the conversations this week, twice i haven’t replied and once i’ve just cut it short, as a result his responses are more positive and quicker. So I think we have turned a corner.
Now, i’m just wondering where i am with pro… Do i now wait two days and go with the good memory section? Or do i continue texting him like tide theory? If i am on the tide theory section, day three (which would have been today) says i should not text, but I don’t feel that was appropriate given whats happened until now. I would like to get some memory texts in now as i would like him to look at me in a different way now. Do you think its useful to wait the two days as pro encourages?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 18, 2016 at 1:20 pm
Hi Maria,
if there is enoufh rapport built, don’t be scared to rest for a day.. it’s better to rest a day than end up making your texts boring..
Lovelee
June 15, 2016 at 1:49 am
Hi Amor
I am confused about what to do since my relationship is long distance, he broke up with me, and put me in the heart friend zone, I am on day 4 on NC but I read there was room for deviation, I don’t want to lose him, I want him back, clearly huh? Um, there are a few events coming up that we discussed attending together, attend or nah? Plz help…
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 17, 2016 at 8:46 pm
Hi Lovelee,
what do you mean by deviation? breaking it? These posts points out what situations nc can be broken or when and what kind of nc should be used.
When not to use the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend
Can you ever break the no contact rule?
kat
June 14, 2016 at 12:02 am
he man I’ve been seeing for the past 3 months broke up with me on Sunday. We are 28 and 29. These were some of the happiest months of my life and he also seemed very happy for all of them, until the last week he became very distant. We have a lot in common beliefs, life style etc.we’ve never argued. I thought this was it. I was shocked when he broke up with me and the reason he gave was he thinks I’m too timid, our personalities aren’t right fit. We get along great! I texted him quite a bit last night and this morning but then I stopped. I didn’t say anything mean or crazy. Just made my case and he responded to some of them. (I dont think I was just harassing him). Even that was a fairly positive interaction. It just seems so crazy to me, I want to do whatever I can to get back together with him. Please help!
mia
June 21, 2016 at 10:19 pm
Kat, same situation and break up reasons to me. if you want to chat lemme know your email.
Jennifer Seiter
June 14, 2016 at 12:30 am
Hey Kat, sorry to hear you got blindsided. Sometimes this comes out of no where but the other person has been hiding the fact that they have been thinking about it for some time so it’s not so sudden for them. Since this is the case the best way to “blindside” him back is to do no contact for 21 days. He will be expecting you to continue to talk to him like you have been. Work on being more outgoing during no contact and your confidence level should go up.
Kay
June 13, 2016 at 2:30 pm
Hi, my boyfriend just broke up with me because I cheated, then lied to cover what I had done. My ex started reaching out to me in March,making it clear that he wanted me back. I ignored his advances at first, but then became confused as to what I should do, who I should be with, if God brought him back in my life even though I was with someone else. I eventually had sex (one time) with him. I instantly regretted it, but continued to text him after because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I was looking out for everyone expect me. My now ex went through my iPad, saw my texts with ex before him, and the truth came out. I love him so much and I regret cheating and lying. He showed me the engagement ring he was about to propose with, but he told me that will never happen. He said that he’s done with me forever. He called me a pathological liar, the devil, and told me that he hates me. I am devastated. I need him back, so I’m so lost. I’ve admitted to everything, although he’ll only communicate through text, but he doesn’t believe anything I’m saying (rightfully so). Is there any way to get him back? To get him to trust me again? To just come back so I can show him that he’s the only one I want? I am seriously having a breakdown. I begged and pleaded, but it has gotten us nowhere…please help me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 17, 2016 at 12:47 pm
Hi Kay,
you need to read this post:
EBR 020- How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated
Jay
June 12, 2016 at 6:19 am
Hi my ex text me the other day ( 3weeks and a day NC ) asking if he was allowed to ask how I was? I replied ( I wish I hadn’t but too late now ) I avoided the question as didn’t want to say fine because I’m not but also didn’t want to tell him I’m upset. I told him I’d burnt my leg in the sun and how was he. He said he was ok and trying to sort himself out. I said glad you are ok. He said to watch my skin (in the sun) as I had nice skin. I didn’t reply he waited 20 mins then said I hadn’t answered him how I was, I said I’d be okay. He said he was glad because I deserved to be better then okay. I didn’t reply until the next day where I just said I’d fallen asleep the night before and joked we had said okay in every message he replied there are worse things then okay I said yes and there are much better as well, he said just in fairytales. There were a few more messages throughout the day then he just stopped replying. This was 4 days ago I don’t know what to do from now?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 17, 2016 at 9:04 am
Hi Jay,
so basically you did 21 day nc.. did you twxt him again?
Yvonne
June 10, 2016 at 3:48 pm
It has been 15 days since we ave exchanged communication. He has called and left a text message on the last 2 days of our communication. I accidentally sent him a text intended for my mom, nothing malicious or about him. He answered WRONG PERSON. I said PARDON. He said you are pardoned. Later he requested that I leave the light on the porch for him. This was about noon. I did not see his message until about 12 hours later and indicated the light was on. The next morning, he saw my response and indicated he made his request the night before. I sent a photo of me this morning with a Good Morning message, to which he replied, Good morning. you look beautiful. HE has always said I look nice. Why the change in assessing my appearance? what do I do from here.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 16, 2016 at 8:01 am
Hi Yvonne,
did you mean you did a two week nc? or you just didn’t talk to each other?
Sarah
June 10, 2016 at 4:39 am
My Boyfriend broke up with me cos he said that he wasn’t happy and he wants to be alone. I did beg him and I appeared very needy to him but he probably felt pity for me and got back to me again. A few days ago, he broke up with me saying that he really can’t do this and he wants to be alone for now. I did beg him again and for once I just decided to let him go for good because he told me that if I am begging him so much, he will block me. I was in no contact for two days and then again I broke it cos I wanted to see how he was doing without me because he seemed so happy in Facebook. He told me that he misses the relationship but he is not sure that he wants it back. And idk I later ended up pissing him off that day and so decided to renew no contact again. Just two days ago I heard from my Friend that even though he misses me, he doesn’t regret the decision of leaving me, so I got so upset that I ended up venting all my anger out on him. (Seriously hated myself at that moment) and that’s when I realised that the more I talk to him, the more he gets pissed and the more he gets pissed, the more he realises that he is made the right decision in leaving me. So I decided to renew no contact again for good. I know for a fact that he has some feelings and some love for me. And I just want him back so badly. Although, I am not sure what will happen during no contact. I know for a fact that he won’t start dating other girls but I don’t want him to lose his feelings for me. I regret begging him and I want him back so badly. Please help me get him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 15, 2016 at 9:10 am
Hi Sarah,
check this post out so you know what to do during nc.
The Ungettable Girl
Stacey
June 8, 2016 at 5:54 pm
Hi, I did NC then started texting my exboyfriend. If I would text him then he would text me back. I asked him to have drinks in April and he said, he was going to be out of town. I told him no worries and maybe some other time. I kinda of gave up and stopped texting him. However, I really miss him and want him back. What should I do? Should I start texting again? If so, how often should I text him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 15, 2016 at 9:27 am
Hi Stacey,
how long did you do nc?
Daisy
June 8, 2016 at 4:04 am
He basically played me and strung me along saying I love you but that he needed a break for the summer. He said that we could be whatever we wanted to be this summer and talk how much we wanted to and that it would all be up to us. And he was really sincere, or at least seemed it. Then when summer hit, he texted me for the first few days always watching my snapchat stories and commenting that “wow more fun things when I’m not there” or “you only do fun stuff when I’m not there” and then soon after that he texted me saying that he doesn’t think we should talk for the time being because he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore- he doesn’t want to talk to me all summer and then realize that he doesn’t want to be with me, because that is wasting my time. But then in the end when I was basically like what the hell… he said “i dont know what i want…” and then it changed into “i don’t think i am going to want to be with you. i don’t know. we are so different. we tried. i need something else. maybe it will work in the future but for right now i don’t think it will.” (he said this before when we broke up for the first time too- but then he regretted it and said he was wrong to think our differences mattered). After this, a few days later he responded to a snapchat story that I posted and did not send to him, and I didn’t respond. And since then it has been 5 days of not talking and I noticed he deleted me from snapchat soon after I didn’t respond to him.. What do I do??? (also, when we were broken up i took a photo with someone who kissed me and he later found that photo in his room because it was a photobooth photo which i took earlier that nice, which fell out of my pocket— i didn’t know I was going to see my ex later that night– he found this out a few days before summer and got really mad)
Sandra
June 7, 2016 at 12:12 pm
Helloo EBR,
One year ago, I started dating a 32 years old boy and I´m 26 now. We met each other in a sports centre, he teaches sport there. Well we started little by little, seeing each other every day athis work and going out once per week. He is a very serious man, funny, doesn´t talk too much, very intellegent and always thinks before acting. Since the beginning I told him that i don´t like adventures ¬ that I wanted a love relationship and explained him that I´ve been wating for the right and decent man to sleep with. He seemed that liked my way to be. Anyway since the beginning he didn´t use to write to much on whatsapp, only 4 times per week, just asking what´s up and planning to go out. Anyway I decided to give him my virginity and he showed me that was very happy of that and showed a lot of patience with me, really. Some months ago in the morning he asked me If will it be painful for me to have sex with other man. I was surprised and angrily told him: ´´You know me, if I´m going out with you and have feelings for you it´ll be impossible to go with other man. He answered: We are not in a relationship, we are just friends. That really bugged me, and we argued. Well we stop talking for one month and than he wrote to me, started going out again, but this time I didn´t even kissed him, I said: we´re friends, and I don´t kiss my friends. Well he hasn´t written to me for two months now, neither me. I don´t know what to do now wheither write to him or not… I don´t want things to end this way. Can you give me any ideas?
Thanks for your help
Sandra
June 22, 2016 at 10:20 pm
Hello EBR,
I haven´t contact him yet, and I see that he is in relationship with his friend of benefits. I need to tell him that he acted badly, that he lied on me, making me think he was serious with me, but I want him to come and beg, so i don´t really know what to do. I really feel bad, feel like a looser, a fool…
Sandra
June 18, 2016 at 9:26 pm
i understand, so what can I do. I don´t go anymore to his sports center, and we don´t text to each other. Some friends of mine tell me I should text him, insult for everything and block. He might feel bad with that, but I don´´t want him to have a bad memory of me. I don´t know. I know everything it´s over with him but I feel like used and a loser.
Thanks for reading me
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 18, 2016 at 10:27 pm
if you don’t want him to have a bad memory of you, don’t send a message.. Just let it go and live your best life.. that’s always the besr revenge
Sandra
June 15, 2016 at 10:05 pm
Thank you so muchhhh….
The last question to finish it. I would like him to know that he acted badly. I didn´t have the chance to say that to him. Can I text him to tell everything, becuase I figured out that he has a sort of friend with benefits, and would like to tell him that I know everything and he didn´t fool me. That´s just because I can´t close this circle…
Thanks again dear!
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 18, 2016 at 10:31 am
that’s confronting him..he would feel cornered with that, especially if it’s in text.. those matters are better done person where you can control the mood and tone
Sandra
June 14, 2016 at 9:28 am
Helloo EBR,
One year ago, I started dating a 32 years old boy and I´m 26 now. We met each other in a sports centre, he teaches sport there. Well we started little by little, seeing each other every day athis work and going out once per week. He is a very serious man, funny, doesn´t talk too much, very intellegent and always thinks before acting. Since the beginning I told him that i don´t like adventures ¬ that I wanted a love relationship and explained him that I´ve been wating for the right and decent man to sleep with. He seemed that liked my way to be. Anyway since the beginning he didn´t use to write to much on whatsapp, only 4 times per week, just asking what´s up and planning to go out. Anyway I decided to give him my virginity and he showed me that was very happy of that and showed a lot of patience with me, really. Some months ago in the morning he asked me If will it be painful for me to have sex with other man. I was surprised and angrily told him: ´´You know me, if I´m going out with you and have feelings for you it´ll be impossible to go with other man. He answered: We are not in a relationship, we are just friends. That really bugged me, and we argued. Well we stop talking for one month and than he wrote to me, started going out again, but this time I didn´t even kissed him, I said: we´re friends, and I don´t kiss my friends. Well he hasn´t written to me for two months now, neither me. I don´t know what to do now wheither write to him or not… I don´t want things to end this way.
Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 15, 2016 at 7:58 am
Hi Sandra,
It’s better if don’t write him because that’s chasing.. YOu weren’t in the same page wnen things got intimate and I think you need to move on from him.. Because if he knew that you were a virgin and he still had sex with you even though he’s not serious, he’s not a good man.
LATINA
June 7, 2016 at 11:56 am
Hello,
So ; my ex boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me a month ago because ” it’s not working and he dosen’t know what he’s doing in his life, and he dosen’t want to waiste my time” and that he wants to stay in touch, which I refused and told him I don’t think I can do.
he texts me twice that day asking for my forgivness, I didne’t reply;
I texted hi 2 days later a long msg saying that he diden’t make any efforts to make it work and that he just quit, and that I tought he was smarter then this ..and that I did what I could to show him that I loved him..
he responded saying that he wants to be friends because I mean so much to him and that i was his best friend , and asked for forgivness again. I diden’t replay.
4 days later he texted a ” hi how are you “, “yes or no plz ” I diden’t reply untill a week later saying ” I hope you’re doing good ”
he said ” I’m doing great and you” I replied ” Im fine “.
I texted him a week later asking him to retun his money to him ( he had given me money so and I diden’t want to take so he said when u have it return it ), he diden’t reply to my msg. I called a day after and he diden’t answer . so I sent him a last msg saying ( you can’t event talk to me ?! ).
Now I think he’s upset about the money and I don’t know how to make things clear.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 15, 2016 at 7:53 am
Hi Latina,
how are you now, have you talked again?
Rachel
June 5, 2016 at 10:58 pm
Hi,
This guy I’ve been seeing on and off for a few years, we started off as good friends and it developed further, we get on so well and have so much in common which is why he’s worth the effort to me. Anyway, he did something bad last year and I didn’t talk to him for 6 months, we recently got talking again and went out a few times and had a great time, I thought things were getting back on track.
Last weekend, I invited him out to see this band we both like, despite online proof that he was going to the event (posted on the event wall asking for times), he told me he wasn’t actually going out, so I felt upset and confused as to why he’d lied to me – assuming he didn’t want to come out with me.
I said I was probably going there with some friends anyway and wondered if he wanted to come, he said he would’ve been interested and that hopefully the band comes and plays again soon. My last message to him was confronting him about there being proof that he was going and he said he was thinking about it and may see me there. So I left it at that as I was a bit pissed off and confused.
My friends and I decided not to go out and went for a meal instead, I went to my friend’s house and received a message from the guy at 9.30 confirming that he wasn’t going out.
So I thought nothing of it then ran out of battery on my phone. I went to bed at 11.30 and charged it, by this time, I received a message he had sent an hour earlier, saying he was having drinks with a friend and to let him know if I head to the gig (as it was on until the early hours of the morning).
As I was in bed at this point and as he had previously told me twice that he wasn’t going out, I didn’t even reply to his message as I was a bit annoyed and it was too late. He could’ve told me he wanted to come out with me earlier, and I thought maybe his friend had let him down which is why he suddenly decided to come out with me. But again, this is speculation.
In the morning, I woke up to 2 missed calls from him after midnight and discovered he had blocked me from Facebook. I think he had been drinking and getting ready to go out and probably thought I had gone without him since I didn’t tell him I was no longer going out and didn’t reply to his message, but again, his messages were all so casual.
I tried to call him the following day but he hung up so I sent him a few texts asking why he blocked me, saying that I didn’t go out and went to bed early and didn’t get his calls as my phone was on silent, and that I thought he was going with a friend anyway.
I’m kicking myself as I feel it’s my fault and I should’ve just replied to him and prevented this, but I didn’t want him to think he could click his fingers and I just go running (like I’ve done many times in the past). It seems like this whole situation was a misinterpretation on both sides, he probably wanted to come out but was coming across too laid back about it. He’s cooled things off between us in the past and we’ve argued, but he always came back eventually in the end and messaged me again on Facebook. But now it’s blocked and he’s never done this before, which makes this situation harder and I don’t even know whether he’s blocked my number or not. I feel like there’s no going back from Facebook blocking as I’ll be out of sight- out of mind now.
Why did he block me? What do I do to get him to come back to me/is it unlikely that this will happen? Do I text him after the 30 days explaining everything – that it was a complete misunderstanding on both sides? It’s a mutual friend’s birthday in a month and he might go to that so there’s a chance I might see him in real life…
Thanks in advance for your help, it’s on my mind 24/7 and I’m so upset, if I had replied to his last message then this wouldnt have happened.
R
Rachel
June 22, 2016 at 11:24 am
Hi Amor,
Yes, it will have been 30 whole days nc in a few days
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 15, 2016 at 5:49 am
Hi Rachel,
are you still in nc now?
Olivia
June 4, 2016 at 6:27 am
Hey, so my ex and I dated for about 6 months and then I did some stupid stuff and really hurt him (because I thought I liked another guy) and he tried really hard to get me back but I was stupid and didn’t think I liked or needed him. He asked me if he should move on and I stupidly said yes. He moved on a few months to this girl in his year and I got really jealous and angry, I didn’t do anything about it and then he messaged me saying they were having problems and that he found out she cheated on him, so I told him he should break up with her and then like 4 months later he started dating another girl and they lasted for a while, and I hated them together and me and my ex talked a bit while they were dating and then they broke up (not because of me) and he messaged me a lot and I was so into him and really wanted to date him again but he doesn’t want to date bc he always gets hurt. We get into fights a lot bc I’m angry that he likes me but doesn’t want to date me. I have tried the no contact rule but bc I see him every day at the bus its kinda hard, and plus I wanted to talk to him 24/7. What should I do? I really like him and don’t want to loose him
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 13, 2016 at 12:05 pm
Hi Olivia,
how long did you do nc?
Raven
June 2, 2016 at 1:48 am
So me and my boyfriend or ex boyfriend haven’t been dating for that long and he always accusing me of cheating. He has told me that some of his friends have told him stuff about me but never told me what they have said or who said it and one day I just ended up saying if you think I’m cheating then why do you talk to me. He hung up on me and haven’t been answering calls are texting me back. This the third time he has gotten mad at me and not answered the phone for me. I don’t know what to do to get him to talk to me or if he wants to be with me. I have asked him in text messages but he doesn’t respond. What do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 12, 2016 at 4:21 am
Hi Raven,
give him space and avoid anything that will justify his accusations.
Sadness
June 1, 2016 at 9:10 pm
I attempted a week of texting my ex after NC for a few weeks, but stopped. For some reason I’m having a hard time picking topics he would be really into. He responds but doesn’t keep the conversation going or ask about me at all. Tbh we spoke not much over texts and he would normally save bigger events to talk about in person. We rarely called each other too. The reason we broke up is because he thought he couldn’t love me and thought it would be better for me to find someone that could appreciate me. When we broke up initially we had plans to have a nice dinner on my birthday (in June) because we had won gift cards to the restaurant (he said he’d only use the gift card with me and pinky promised). I really want the dinner to happen, but I want to see if he even remembers that promise/plan. I unfriended him on Facebook too. I really wanted to change and move on but I also want him to come back on his own. Is texting him really going to help build rapport? I want to see him and ask what he’s thinking after it’s been almost 2 months of not seeing each other.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 12, 2016 at 3:29 am
because we don’t know if he’s checking your posts or not, so it’s better to keep your profile public instead.
Pick a current event topic that he’s interested in, so that it’s more natural..
Alexandra
May 31, 2016 at 6:11 pm
My boyfriend and I dated for about four or five years. He broke up with me a month and two weeks ago. I did no contact and have been working on myself, new friends, haircut, changing all the things I could see hurt the relationship. I’ve followed many of the texting strategies and have done tide theory and we texted for a long time last night. After I said I had to go he told me this: obviously I miss you. It’s just hard knowing we’re both doing better since we split. But don’t be confused I miss you everyday.
So I guess my question is how do I convince him or show him that we can still do better in a new relationship. Everything I’ve done during no contact seems to have made him believe his decision to break up was the right one….oh and he seems to have been doing many of the things you’ve suggested to do in no contact, new friends etc.
P.S. We still haven’t seen eachother in person and I’m not sure how to ask to do that either…he has some of my things and I know I can use that as an excuse but I’m still not sure what to say, especially since he lives an hour away from me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 31, 2016 at 10:05 pm
HI Alexandra,
by how you answer those kind of texts because that’s an opportunity. You could say, We did get better because of our relationship, the split just helped us let that out. We were too consumed with the current challenges of our relationship, we forgot we’re too good individuals that are also good partners 🙂 I think that’s the reason I missed you too sometimes 🙂