18 Proven Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back (Based On Research)

1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

Elaine

December 21, 2015 at 6:29 am

Thanks for this very insightful site!

I purchased your book a while ago and I am actually reading it again!

My ex and I broke up 2 years ago. Immediately after, he got involved in another relationship that lasted 2 years. In all that time, I didn’t contact him at all. I got word (facebook) that they might have broken up. I texted to tell him I missed him as a friend and I wished we never were involved for that reason. We had a long texting that ended great and it surprised me even, then I stopped. NC. A month later, he texts me, says I am on his mind and asks if we can meet face to face. I said yes but to call me in a few days once I am in town (just to give me time to plot this through). I would love to see him of course.

Is he on the rebound to get over his latest ex or is there a potential to get back together as I intend? Where do I go from here

Thanks!
zodwa

December 18, 2015 at 8:49 am

Hi
My ex and i have been separate for 4 weeks, we were together for 5 months we were crazy in love but the past few weeks we had been fighting alot, we spoke about the fighting and said we would communicate better if someone does something wrong will confront each other you know talk about it. Problem is we are separated and till this day i dont know why we broke up his very angry with me, wont talk to me ., recently he asked my colleague out i wont lie that really hurt wen i found out
Sophia

December 9, 2015 at 5:09 am

Hello,
My boyfriend of 15 months broke up with me a week before my birthday because we had a huge blowout due to him not inviting me to his party after a previous argument , I caught him saying he didn’t do girlfriends and we both got into a huge argument . On my birthday we got back together but it was tough because he was mad about the fact I was confining in my girl & guyfriends & he doesn’t like them because they kind of taunted him in the past. So we kind of went back and fourt. So a week after my birthday we were fine but he woke me up and then broke up with me because he said he didn’t want a relationship he wanted to work on himself . I said are you trying to be with other girls ? He said he doesn’t want to chase girls he doesn’t want a girlfriend , doesn’t want to talk or have sex he just wants to work on himself & it’s not my fault. So then we work every Sunday together & we live in the same apartment duplex so he would ride with me home, I keep contact to a minimum. I ask him if he really meant he was trying to work on himself . He just said u was crazy, insane, and want to start arguments. So then I started crying and I said well you claim you love and care for me and think of me but you don’t want a relationship, do you want me to move on or wait for you? He couldn’t even answer me than I got mad because he tried to dismiss the whole thing so when he got out the car to get into his own I block the door so he couldn’t close it and he said can you move. I was crying and I said after investing this much time I deserve an explanation. So he keep saying the same thing so I closed his door three times and said I hated him. Today, the same thing, we rode home together and I ask him if his roomate called me out my name? He got irritated and said did he? I said I don’t know you were in the room? I thought I did that’s why I’m asking? He said okay we’re going to figure it out. I said well you told me not to tell my friends or parents about our breakup or to talk sh*t about you. And he was like ok ok ok I get it. By the way he was under the influence. So then I said are we going to have sex or how are we dealing with this? Because if you are having sex with other girls we need to wrap it. He said why are you asking me personal questions , your always starting arguments. So I brushed his knee and said I’m not going to argue with you, he said thank you and that was it. So now he’s just being a jerk & rude to me. I have these gifts for him that I bought before the breakup and I can’t get my money back , so I was just going to leave it at the front seat and go home for winter break. I’m 21 he’s 20 and we go to the same college. I can’t seem to figure out how you go from I love you in one day to its over the next, I’m hurt and confused. I feel like he’s going through a lot and he said that he wants me to be happy and he can’t give me what I want in the relationship but I think he’s afraid to getting deeper and for me to help him with his issues. But recently he’s been acting like a jerk and talks to me disrespectfully, idk what to do . I do want him back but I just can’t figure out how to get to him.
Mercedes

December 8, 2015 at 4:31 pm

Hi Chris
My ex boyfriend of 4 months drunk texted and dialled me after a night out with friends. He expressed over the phone that he isn’t over me. It was 4am so I was a bit taken a back, because he was drunk I was reluctant to tell him my true feelings because he was drunk and maybe wanting a booty call. He texted me after the phone call ended asking me again if I was over him and that he hasn’t found some other girl that he likes (I know he is talking to other girls) he said he hasn’t slept with another woman since either. I told him that I thought he had moved on since his contact is rare and sporadic. I was wary because he was drunk but sounded very normal to me over the phone., he then sent me a nude photo. And apologised immediately after. He hasn’t replied to any of my other texts since and hasn’t tried to talk to me again since. I still have feelings for him. What can I do ?
Hira

December 1, 2015 at 2:17 pm

Hi, i need your advise.
I made a mistake and I have admit it and explained to my boyfriend but he still doesn’t accept me back into his life.
year 2009 i met him i was doing a-levels in the college and i further my studies in medical field. unfortunately in year 2013 i failed my paper but i didn’t tell him. i just kept repeating for several time and eventually it reaches to a level where i couldn’t ask my parents for fees to continue further stage. I lied to my bf that i have finished my education. He blindly trusted me. So one fine day i started to work at a clinic where i could save decent amount of money so i able to pay for my fees. he found out this true my mails unfortunately. the day he found out he walked away from my life. after few days he told me first reason to leave me is he doesn’t trust me. second his family is not going to accept me bcoz they believe in arrange marriage. I have tried my level best, i told the truth first of all, and then i kept on looking for him i kept on beg for a chance. but he has refused and rejected me all the way. Now it has been one month we broke up. and last i spoke to him was few days back asking for the chance again but he doesn’t wanna accept me. Please advise me. I am literraly going crazy and i really love him.. it was a 6 years relationship. 🙁 i agree i made a mistake but i have told the truth and its not as if i am unable to finish the studies i am now able to afford for everything. but i can’t see my life without him. please help me.
Katey

November 27, 2015 at 12:41 am

I left my boyfriend. Now I am with a man who respects me. I believe the no contact helped me because he was abusing me. There was a time I did want it to work but that is no more. I know am in a very healthy happy relationship and we both want to get married and live happily ever after. The no contact works even for breaking up with an abusive person. Thank you for this site. You have helped me more then you realize. Probably even kept me alive.

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 5:03 am

Wow!! I am SO glad to hear that. Make sure you never contact him again. Not even to exchange stuff.

Congrats with your engagement!!

Jen

November 26, 2015 at 7:09 pm

I have a serious BoyFriend, we more than six months now. Our relation problem is me for him. I am filipina and he is European, which slightly twice than my age. He is my Crush. We was n perfect moment in our first 1 months of our Love story. We had a first fight when I gone home and I wasn’t comes back on same day with my mom reason(here reason is that is to dark to go out and dangerous but she promised i can go back to him tomorrow). I regret about that, we separate tree nights and I deleted my dating site which I mostly used where I found him. Before the first fight I already found myself to him. Hes reason he mad, is he thought I meet other Man. The truth when I gone home is went money changer with my youngest brother, but because that is Sunday and closed we went to SM for my Jollibee Promise to baby boy and then we went to Quantum to Play balls and he rode mostly all car toys. We home past 20:00. and I bought Wifi Load but internet is shit and I did not know he can see me online. I was only open Fb to show my sister beautiful memory of me and him on vacation.
We got okay, i deleted dating site i mostly used and I gave my accounts passwords. Then we go on n our Love story which turned into very perfect moment but he’s mind still flying bad sometimes about what I did. I contacted my x (1 months relation only for his 8 months sacrifice asking me)that I don’t like, i did not set a meeting of my ex but i only thinking to ask and tell him I am happy of someone’s arms. But conversation was finish June and then he replied August which turned him to bad. I asked sorry and he forgive me after that night he fling me out in room because I blocked my ex without not answering. There is other guy on email who keep on coz he coming to Philippines, but I am not interested so I delete his last message while My former Bf is n Egnland. I wanna show my Bf i will never cheat on him no matter what happened. He comes back and my ex replies as I said n August something and my is Back from Europe in our 3rd Monthsary which August 4 I thought is fourth, 3rd months relation was the most perfect than the last one. I propose to him for the first time of my life, he accepted my heart and sole. It’s broken because of my ex reply, he never wear my ring anymore. I regret until now he never trust me, we live again but he always mad to me. But still we go Holidays cos my class is Tuesday and Thursday only. I told him I am not flirty but he thought I am. I never say he flirty even he say wow to some ladies passing by because I know he is mine. He never cheated me same as I did which he thought I does. I does all what he want me to do, after he come back to Philippines, my ex message me one word and our relation suffering. But because I have a dream to be professional I am studying full time. We fight again but we fixed it. But in this time we not, he said he cannot forgive me forever. I was only asking him “if he still happy with me”. We misunderstood I packed and then he told me to go home and I changed my mind not too coz I realize I cant leave him. Then he turned to madness as my fault starting confusing him so he push me out. The issue is bigger coz he don’t want fixed . Our Love story was very perfect if i am going to think back and cancel those bad memories. I feel he don’t like to be home, we want go holiday but he cant because of me. Now he told me LIER, CHEATER and DISRESPECTFUL which I cant accept coz all people never see me with other guys since two years ago. I introduced him to my family and friends. When we fight I always eat my pride but he never. Yes, I loved him. He wanna moved on he said. I chooses him than my family when I was given a choices of my family because I was n shit before I meet him. I did not cheat him coz he said I will lost the feelings if I does until one day I woke up and find my life is evolving to him. He becomes my whole world, my life and i swear I well spend all my entirely life with him.
He blocked me everything accounts but I still let him access them all. I sacrifice everything when we fight. I deserve am forgiveness because i never cheat him, i admit my sin and I am sincerely asking apology. He talking about younger than me. I am not into him because of easy life, but because i follow my heart. He did not follow his heart but he changed his head into madness. GOD WILL HELP ME AS I KNOW. I just wanna Pry for us. He deserve to know the truth.
Nay

November 12, 2015 at 4:36 pm

I was with someone for 14 yrs, we had our ups and downs but everything we did we did as though we were married. We have moved to several locations together and finally ended up in Las Vegas, he started working at a casino 5 yrs ago, and we moved together in 2011, we have been good up until we moved to Las Vegas and in March 2014, he all of a sudden moved out, told me he was not happy and I had too many ongoing issues with family taking care of everyone else but him. Come to find out he was seeing a married woman at work, and she also left her husband and they ended up living together. I was devastated and hurt to no end. I love this man and still do, we have had the no contact rule for a very long time, and I realized that I need closure, but something inside of me still has feelings for this person and even though he is with another woman, and I feel the true reason he left was because of this other woman, he is now embarrassed to actually tell the truth and will not. We will be meeting to get closure but in my heart I feel he is deeply hurt and feel regret, he was fired and so was the female for fratinization on the job. Do you think there could be regret, and unhappiness in his current situation and should I let him know that I still love him and would like him to be in my life? I am just dealing day by day and I want him back?
Sylvia

November 9, 2015 at 5:22 am

Hi, my name is Sylvia and I can’t help but overthink my relationship, which happened roughly 3 years ago. Every year or so we end up being in the same place or talking with each other. I know I broke his heart when I ended the relationship. I still love him but I feel like if I talk to him now about my feelings it will be digging into the past. We have talked before (about a year ago) and he said “it didn’t feel the same anymore”. I can’t help to think every time we stop talking it’s on a sour note. I think it’s important that I mention he’s the type that doesn’t say much. But I can’t help but wonder what his life is like and if at least I can help him. Although this might be too late; I thought perhaps you could help me out a little- even if it is to move on and leave him in peace. Thanks
Jenna

November 9, 2015 at 3:11 am

Dated for 2.5 years . No contact for two months so far. He started dating a month after breakup through dating site & is now in a relationship with a chick. I was at the convienent store laughing it up with some guys about the weather and didn’t realize he was there. He acted like he didn’t see me & was searching for something in his truck before I exited the store waiting on me to leave. Is he going through a rebound relationship?
Sasha

October 27, 2015 at 12:15 am

What if you ex reaches out to you during NC, you ignor them? What if they get angry after you ignor them, do you CONTIUNE to ignor them?
Sally

October 21, 2015 at 9:39 pm

Hi Chris,
my boyfriend of three months broke up with me a couple of weeks ago by text. Just the day before this he was saying how much he loved me and how he would do anything for me. We had a couple of issues about communication (he felt like I wanted too much, I felt like he wasn’t bothered enough). Anyway, the final straw for him was me saying how I seemed to cared more because I wanted to talk to him properly when I hadn’t seen him all day but he just wanted to text. He broke up by text, no explanation and deleted everything off of fb within two minutes (photos, comments, relationship status). I made the mistake of trying to get him to talk to me and a few days later he eventually replied to my text giving his reasons. I had no idea he felt that I was “paranoid” or wanted all of his attention (we work together but usually saw each other out of work about twice a week). He was always the one suggesting we hang out or go out and when I saw he wanted to hang out more I started to suggest we do this or that on days off too. I had no idea he felt like I was taking up all of his time out of work which is what he said because he used to always say he wants to see me etc. There is a lot more to say but I feel like it would be too much to type. Anyway the last time we spoke was me saying how we could have just talked about things and worked them out and then he didn’t even bother to read my message. I was heart broken because I couldn’t believe he really didn’t care about me or what I had to say. He said he wanted to be friends in work. I ended up deleting him as a friend off of fb to make it easier for myself. It has now been a week of no contact but I saw him in work today for the first time after the break up. I was willing to be civil and offer a “hello” but he couldn’t even look me in the eye or in my direction. He deliberately and totally avoided the staff room at break time and it hurts that that is how little he thinks of me that he couldn’t even look me in the eye. Do you think I am best to just continue avoiding/ignoring him in work altogether? I just don’t understand how it can be possible for him to just switch off his feelings and be over me so quickly. Even though he treated me so harshly after the break up, I still want him back for some reason. Do you think he will ever realise his mistake and try and contact me?
tracy

October 19, 2015 at 8:09 pm

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 months. our cultures differ a lot. He believes that a man should be listened to all the time and a girl should do what he says, on the other hand i believe differently, that everyone deserves reasons as to why one would want me to do something. We broke up because he asked me not to speak to a certain girl.( while they’re still friends or rather they still talk to each other) but instead i did, for different reasons, because he was missing and i was worried. He got angry and decided to block me, and the truth is, i was very hurt. On that very same day, he unblocked me and said he wanted to talk to me, but i told him i was busy, which i was, and that maybe we could talk tomorrow. He said Ok, And so the next day i asked him what he wanted to say and he said “nah! its ok, don’t worry about it” To be honest this is very confusing, does he still want to be with me or is he just testing me. and what should i do because i’m really tempted to text him back.

Ru

November 6, 2015 at 1:12 am

Tracy,

Lose this guy and don’t ever turn back to him. You already have red flags and it’s only been four months. This guy wants you to obey his every command without question (he has control issues; every guy wants to be in control of their environment and if allowed to get away with it, their people. These type of boys can become dangerous boys. Trust me, I am speaking from experience). He doesn’t value you, your thoughts, or your time. He said don’t worry about it because he is playing with your thought and emotions. Almost like a reverse psychology. Move on. The relationship is early and you should not be emotionally invested in someone like that.

Jane

October 18, 2015 at 7:08 pm

My boyfriend finished with me after a year…. We had an amazing year, and him dumping me left me utterly heart broken… I did the full 30 day no contact rule…. He contacted me once and I ignored him. I blocked him on social media. On day 31 I unblocked him made sure I had a amazing profile picture of my new “revenge body”… I realised I now didn’t want him back but wanted him to realise what a big mistake he has made! I am now dating someone else, (only early days) I have messaged my ex to say he welcome to pick up his stuff or I can post it to him and he had replied to say he ll pick it up…. The 30 days has made me stronger, realise we actually weren’t really suited and want different things in life! I can’t believe how the 30 days no contact has helped me get over him and realise that relationship wasn’t for me. Didn’t think I’d be where I am now the night he finished with me and I stayed up all night crying and drinking whiskey ! # lifechanger x
Beth

October 14, 2015 at 3:44 pm

Last week my boyfriend told me that he needed time to “think about us” because he wasn’t sure if my family would accept him, this was 2 days after he repeatedly told me he loved me and that he would make an effort to be a better boyfriend. Initially when he told me this I said my piece and explained to him that he was hurting me by shutting me out, but the following days I didn’t contact him and he didn’t contact me. On the 5th day I decided that I didn’t want to be in a relationship with a man who wasn’t sure about being with me. So I sent him a text stating I wanted to pick up my belongings and that I would come by after work the following day to retrieve them. The next day I contacted him to make sure he was home, he wanted me to stop by later than I planned, but I told him I wanted to get my things as soon as possible and be done. My exact words, he agreed to meet me and said he would be there when I arrived. I walked in his place grabbed my things didn’t say a word accept thank you when he handed me my shades and walked out without even looking at him. I deleted his number and unfriended him on facebook before I drove out the parking lot. I showed zero emotion but they truth is I’m really hurt because I loved him. I want to get back together with him. I have been on a date since we broke up and another man is presently pursuing me(he has stated he wants a relationship) but I want my ex. Did my actions drive him away for good, ( he knows I unfriended him because he blocked me) I don’t know if the NC rule will work with him because he uses the silent treatment himself. I will NEVER initiate contact with him because my pride simply won’t allow it. However, is there anyway to know he wants me back?

Chris Seiter

October 16, 2015 at 2:22 am

I think it will.

Remember, NC is only like 50% of the equation. What you do after NC is the other 50%

gem

October 13, 2015 at 11:00 am

So me and my ex were best friends before we got together. I have a 2 year old (not with him) but my ex has been in his life since he was newborn. We only became a couple last November after he spent a while trying to get me. He broke up with me nearly 4 weeks ago. I found out I had depression in June and only 4 days later he broke up with me. He came back to me 6 days later after I only did the nc rule for a day (the last day when he came back). We didn’t have the best of relationships. I have trust issues, as well as my depression which I only found out later on. We argued quite a lot, over silly things, mostly because of me, but when we were happy we got on Like you wouldn’t believe, but we did brake up a fair few times. He broke up with me he came and got most of his stuff from mine. He then text me after saying sorry etc. I didn’t reply. He text again saying he left some stuff at mine when can he get them. I didn’t reply. I took his stuff to my mums and asked her to text him for me. I texted him 8 days after the break up to say I found more of his stuff and he could collect on Monday (I text him Friday). He text me and collected his stuff Monday. We didn’t speak for the rest of the week or the week after until I went a event that he was playing at. He spoke to me but only briefly and it was about 5/10 mins before he left. Alls he said was ” your not ready for what come in”. He is a drum and bass DJ. He already had one song playing and was going to play a different song at the same time as the one he was already playing. For those of you who don’t know what that is. I text him the next day saying there’s more of his stuff which I genuinely did find, thought I’d bagged everything! He got it the next day (yesterday) and sent me a text saying “been and got my stuff, thank you for bagging it and putting it outside for me x” I said it’s alright. I was just wondering if someone can give me an insight as to what he might be thinking and if he’s already moved on or there could be chance of reconciliation? My mind is doing table tennis 🙁 thank you in advance!!!
Danielle

October 4, 2015 at 10:36 am

Hi Chris,
About a month ago my boyfriend of 9 yrs who recently became a cop broke up with me out of nowhere. I’m not sure if it is because of some personal issues he has going on within his home, or if it’s the younger guys at work influencing him, or if it’s my constant mention of wanting to get engaged since we are both 29 yrs old and he got scared. The majority of his friends from
Home are either married, engaged or I’m long term relationships as we were. When he broke up with me it all started by him saying I need time to think and of course I said no, not after 9 yrs… Then it went to I want a break and again I said no, then it was I wanna be single, I wanna be single… And that was that. He then told me the day after when I forced him to speak to me as an adult that he wanted to be single and move to the city…. Which won’t happen bc right before he said this he said he wasn’t ready to move out bc two weeks before he broke up with me we were looking at apartments… Then he said the whole I care about u but I’m not in love with u… Which I believe was a defense mechanism bc he saw how upset I was and that was his way to hurt me the easiest to get me away… He then told me he didn’t have to give me any explanation… Now…. I know there isn’t another girl. He told me and later on his cousin and friends confirmed there isn’t. Apparently he’s isolating himself from everyone and acting if nothing g happened… He is saying however he just wants to be single and not have to worry about anyone else…. Mind u two weeks before breaking up with me we went on a vacation, the day before he broke up with me he’s telling me he loves me… And earlier in that week we were intimate.. I contacted him a week after just to see if he was ok and he ignored me… 3 weeks later I contacted him laying it all on the table and he ignored me…. It’s been a month now and still haven’t heard… What the hell am I supposed to think… I’m here with no answers… I’m actually in therapy right now bc of this, have lost 16 pounds bc I can’t eat or sleep… Idk what to do anymore. I know we are supposed to be together… He even mentioned a few times how he looked for rings before the academy and now that he’s a cop I feel like those younger assholes are influencing him….
sian

October 1, 2015 at 7:22 pm

Hi Chris I have read so much of your website yet I still have no clue where to start. My ex husband and I had a “mutual” split beginning of April this year, we were together for almost 8 years with 3 kids. A lot had happened four months previous to the separation and I suppose I got a bit of the G.I.G.S. He said he would wait for however long it took then three days later he decided to call it a day. I find out just 5 weeks later he started a relationship with a woman from work. At first he was saying they “weren’t putting a label” on it. Obviously at this point i did all the things He’s still with her now and has moved in with her. You shouldn’t. Begged pleaded. He’s recently moved in with her Although he still denies living there when I know he does. He has admitted to loving her too. Yet said to me a few weeks ago that his doc has said he’s on the verge of an emotional breakdown and has things running through his head all the time. I miss this man. I love him. And I’m desperate for him to come home to his family. Please help me

sian

October 2, 2015 at 8:55 pm

We are just separated. I have asked if he wanted a divorce and he said no need. I’m not sure if it’s about the money? Or I don’t know
Chris Seiter

October 2, 2015 at 4:26 pm

Are you divorced yet or just separated?

Confused

September 27, 2015 at 2:28 am

I was thinking, maybe you should do a post about what it means when an ex reaches out to a friend. And when they want to remain friends.
Alyson

September 21, 2015 at 7:58 am

Hi Chris,
My boyfriend just broke up with me a few days ago because he realized he didn’t love me romantically anymore, and he didn’t want to deceive me by making me believe that he still had those feelings for me. But he said he still wanted to be friends after we both were over the relationship. It was a huge blow to my ego. I don’t know if I love him that way but I know I want him in my life once were over each other completely. He was my best friend before we dated and not having him in my life is something I can’t imagine. Today I saw him to give back the things he gave me throughout the year and a half we’ve been together. It was good to see him, I was able to get questions answered. But it hurt a little because he said that the few days after he broke up with me were enough to confirm that he really felt nothing towards me besides care and respect. Hours later, I’m home and I realize I still have questions I want to ask him because I want to learn from mistakes I made. So I call him up telling him I forgot to ask him something that I felt was important for me to know. He got so mad at me for calling him. He said he wasn’t ready to hear my voice or answer questions, and he said I was selfish for even calling. He didn’t seem to understand that I was the one who was caught off guard by this break up or his love for me being gone, and I still had questions I simply didn’t remember to ask wen I saw him because it was an emoting time. Now he’s so mad at me and he said his respect for me is lost and he doesn’t know if he wants to be friends with me later on. This hurt much more than when we broke up because at least he would’ve still been in my life and I still would’ve had his care. I don’t think his anger means he wants me back. He’s a very honest person and I don’t think he loves me that way anymore. But I don’t want to lose him as a friend, and I wish he understood where I was coming from. Will the NC rule help my situation? How can I make him miss me and contact me? How can I make him realize I’m not crazy?

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1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”