18 Proven Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back (Based On Research)

1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

Bridget

September 8, 2015 at 2:34 pm

Hi Chris,
My story is a lot of confusion and I was hoping you could maybe help put some of the roaming questions that are in my head to rest. My ex and I had more of relationship where we were best friends, but also had feelings towards one another. We dated for about 8 months. He never treated me very well when it came to expressing his feelings and hardly ever did anything for me. I was like the “boyfriend” in our relationship because I did a lot for him. Our memories and good times made me ignore it. When he broke up he told me he still wanted to be best friends because he no longer felt like we were ever more than just that. Within a few weeks after he broke up with me he was already getting with another girl who is considerably younger than him and now they have been dating for about 5 months. Before I found out about her I didn’t have any contact with him for about two months. Then one day he texted me and we caught up some. I considered being friends with him, but then later that night a friend told me he had a girlfriend and how they had sex within weeks of our breakup. After I found out about her I completely dropped him. He didn’t tell me because he said he had already hurt me enough, but in reality it made it so much worse. I blocked him from all social medias and made no contact with him for about 3 months. Then reluctantly he texted me how he was afraid I hated him and how he couldn’t live with himself thinking that. I messaged back telling him how much he hurt me and he went on to tell me how I am this genuine person and still wants us to be friends. Ever since then he has started texting me at least once or twice a week. It makes me feel ill because I don’t think his girlfriend knows. And last night we talked for awhile and it brought me back to when we were dating and I think he feels the same. I feel like I’m getting played and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I necessarily want him back, but I’m just trying to understand why he’s having such a hard time letting me go when he has a new girlfriend. I haven’t tried to make contact with him whatsoever. It’s been all him. But when he does it to me I feel obligated to contact him back. It’s not that I don’t miss him because I obviously do, but his selfishness from our relationship makes me realize that I deserve a connection like what we have with someone who will treat me right. So I guess what I’m trying to ask is what does he want from me? Why is he not letting me go? I read your article about rebound relationships, but if they have been dating for months now I’m not sure if it is. And before dating me he hadn’t dated anyone in two years. So why did he move on so quickly this time?
Vic

September 8, 2015 at 2:06 am

My boyfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago because he said he was no longer happy with me because we are too different. He said that we fought all the time and he felt bad for the way he treated me, which is was not bad, I think it was just an excuse. I also think his best friend, whom hates me, had a lot to do with him breaking up with me. I am trying the NC rule, but since he used to live with me and has moved out, he still texts me about being able to stop by and get some of his belongings, but other than that I have not contacted him at all. Should I make an attempt to get back with him?

Anaya

September 13, 2015 at 3:37 am

Honey, If he asks you to come get some of his belongings from your home that’s a sign he wants to barge in and find out whats going on in your home and or see if you’ve found some one else and see you and how you are but i highly recommend that you do at least try to see or ask him the exact true real trill 100% reason why y’all two broke up in the first place. You don’t want to wander why all the time.. its best to find out the truth so you can learn not to make the same mistake again and watch out for who you can and cannot trust keep it real honey and continue life you’ll be fine 🙂 :*

may

September 7, 2015 at 12:37 pm

Hey,

So me and my ex had been together for about 4 years we have a daughter together she is two he was in jail for two years went in when she was 3 weeks he got out in june this year he was obsessed with me literally everyone could tell i left for a new town for few weeks and broke up with him and he got a girlfriend the same day we broke up and he was telling her he loved her we broke up in july sometime i came back we hooked up a few times while he was with his new girlfriend then went back out for about a week then he went back to her and left me after telling me he wanted to be a family i stopped trusting him and didnt contact him for 3 weeks then he texts me the most negative things ever broke my heart into pieces because i left our daughter with him so they could bond for little and thats when he texted me all the milicious ttext messages he has now made me think he wants nothing to do with my daughter they are in love and wanting to move to a different town together and start a new life showing it so everyone can see how could he be so mean and just give up on our daughter he says i broke his heart but really hes broken mine the most is he over me?? does he really hate me that much hes using not wanting to be a father to really hurt me what does this mean i really need to know
Heather

September 5, 2015 at 7:59 pm

Hi there Chris, I’ve got a couple of questions regarding my situation. It would mean a lot if you could give me some advice.

My boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me 22 days ago. Our relationship was lovely, we’re both very similar people and we could talk about anything with each other. I got on well with his friends and they commented on how much they liked us together. I met his family very quickly and gelled with them immediately. We spoke about the future often, and he literally changed his mind about things overnight. One night, he was promising me the world because I was “worth all of it”, but acknowledged that he couldn’t give it to me yet because he was unemployed and living off his parents and thus struggled a lot financially, and the next day he dumped me. He was sobbing his heart out and said that we had an expiry date and that we were too far apart when we weren’t together. He seems to be incredibly happy without me and hasn’t attempted to contact me once (we’ve been NC since the break up). He didn’t even wish me a happy birthday. I’m worried that he’s associating all of his failings with me, as immediately after our break up he found a job and his band found a great deal of publicity in national papers.

Firstly, is this situation a general break up? And hence, what do you think my chances are of getting back with him according to your scale? I don’t think NC is working because he doesn’t seem to be thinking of me at all, he just goes out all the time. Should I be doing anything differently? Am I being ridiculous in wanting him back?
Mindy

September 3, 2015 at 6:57 pm

Hi …
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months because I had more feelings for his brother after the 2nd visit to his parents house and he really wasn’t the best boyfriend after the 1st 2 months … And I think he might be mad or upset … And I think he might still love me but I don’t really love him in that way any more just like a friend, and I am stuck I want to be with someone who can relate more to me and isn’t afraid to show how and who he is … Frankly I just followed my heart to the person I want to be with but the most … The thing I want to understand and maybe you will do most men go to their friends house to drink the night out so that the person can get relief somehow? … Also my mother thinks my choice was wrong when she’s been the one complaining most about my ex and how bad a boyfriend he really was … And the hard part is he lives with me what should I do?
shipra

September 2, 2015 at 3:01 pm

hello chris !! first of all a great thanks to you…really nowadays… blogs are required to deal with these emotional dramas we are getting through our lives…i would like to narrate my story to u..i am in college and my ex too in same college 10months ago ,.he was so desperate to get me,he said that he loves me so much nd he showed it too .. after 5 months i also real;ised that i also love him…nd i confessed he promised me all abt our future everything nd in just 10 days things started changing… wht i used to face now is his ignorance,his anger i dont know why i was being hurt so much by the person who said that he cant see tears in my eyes…he was nt sure that he will remain in same college or not…so 3 months ago he brokeup wid me saying he does not feels same fr me…nd he cant sustain a long distance relationship just 4 days after our breakup he contact me again nd ask me abt my dinner nd medicines.. nd after 1 month he again text me nd now he is in same college nd he often contacts me in 15-20 days…i just reply to him showing not interested at all……..nd i myself never cntact him frst even i have ignored his calls..3-4 times….but the fact is that i love him alot … 🙁 the only thing i want in my life is him… the only desire left is he ….although as u said he has said alot bad abt me to his friends.. please help me chris to get over this..i want him back …please help me
Mel

September 2, 2015 at 10:53 am

Ive been seeing a guy for 6 months, never put any pressure on him at all in fact never even asked him to clarify our relationship or if he was still dating other girls. I’m 5 years older than him and have been married before and he knows I was not after a serious relationship. However as months went on we grew quite close and we both care about each other. The other night he texted me all of a sudden – mid conversation – saying he needs to clear his head and needs a break for a bit! He also said he carers about me. So I responded saying I care too, but yes I will give him some space if he wants ( he already HAS space !!!) . But since then he has initiated contact a few times. What should I do, has he broken up with me or does he genuinely not know what he wants ?? Thank you !
Britt

September 1, 2015 at 5:34 pm

Hello,
My ex-boyfriend and I dated for about 2 and a half years and we broke up almost 2 months ago. We hadn’t been getting along, having the same argument over again, due to the fact that he wasn’t putting in any effort anymore. It was like I was the only one trying. He finally admitted that he wanted to work on himself but then had to go out of state for a summer program for 6 weeks. While he was away he went back to not trying anymore; leaving me for multiple days without any sort of contact. I see him at the gym once or twice a week and its mostly a cordial hello and a wave and even though he hurt me a lot I somehow still love him enough to want to be with him but I don’t know if he wants to be with me and if he is willing to try. What should I do?

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 3:17 am

Just stick to the basics.

Start with the no contact rule and then work your way up from there.

Su

August 30, 2015 at 5:47 am

I broke up with my boyfriend 4 days ago and when he broke up with me, I was in panic mood and begged him to stay but he told me to move on and I got more desperate and kept on calling him million time but he did not pick up my calls and he even blocked me every way possible. So there is no way for me to reach out to him. I easily can change number and contact him again but I want to try the no contact rule . However, i m worried that i have a slim chance of getting him back because he really means what say said and told me once before that he will only say bye once. Should i contact him after no contact rule or move on?

Chris Seiter

August 30, 2015 at 4:20 pm

Contact him after 30 days nc.

DeDe

August 29, 2015 at 9:40 pm

So my ex boyfriend and I dated for 3 months. During the 2 month he lost his job. I was very supportive and told him he would find another job and things would get better. But during the 3rd month he broke up with me and said he needed to get his life together but he still wanted to be friends and try again later.
We were friends for a few weeks and then I couldn’t take just being friends any more and told him I wanted to be with him. We got into this big fight and he stopped talking to me. I didn’t know about the nc rule then so i texted and called him to try and make up. But we got into another fight. We then stopped talking for about a month.
After a month I contacted him asking if we could meet up because I was leaving for a service project in for a few months and wanted to say goodbye. He agreed and we had dinner together. And started seeing each other everyday for several weeks. It was like we were back together. But then I left for my service project and he promised he come visit me. We kept in touch for a few weeks then I asked him if he wanted to try again when I got home. He got extremely defensive and said a bunch of mean things. So I told him I didn’t even want to be friends anymore.
We stoped talking for 2 months then he randomly snapchated me after I sent a story of me winning a serirvice award “congratulations for winning the reward”. I replied thank you. Then we stopped talking again but he began sending me tons of snapchats. So I decide to text him that I was thinking of him. And he never texted me back. He is still sending me tons of snapchats everyday.
So I guess my question is did I hurt my ex by reconnecting then leaving? And does my ex want to try again and is just waiting for me to return? Or is he just trying to keep me thinking of him so he knows he has someone yearning after him? I am really confused and could really use some guidance.
Nora

August 28, 2015 at 5:00 am

Chris, sometimes your articles fill me with hope and sometimes I just want to throw the computer through the window haha. He says he feels relieved and free, and it’s amazing to be single again. However, he is trying to date other girls, while flirting hardcore with one of his friends. He drives 2hrs+ just to see her :/ I am not sure if she can be considered a rebound, or if he is just trying to have some fun. He seems to like her a lot. Also, I’m not sure he is trying to fill that space, but I will trust you. We were together for almost 6 years and he was about to propose 🙁 Our relationship had to mean something. Your writings are the ones that keep me sane.

Nora

September 30, 2015 at 3:34 am

I just wish I had received a notification when you replied! It’s so nice to finally have an answer haha. We both are 24 years old. Chris, I just would like to say thank you. Things have gotten better since the NC rule. I was afraid of myself; I almost did not recognize myself from all the sadness/pain I felt inside. It was even sadder when my friends and family believed the false appearance of happiness and security I tried to demonstrate. My monsters were eating me from the inside. I get what you said that NC was not about him, but about me. I feel like a strong woman; I am going through a very difficult situation right now that has nothing to do with Voldemort (he-who-must-not-be-named), and I feel like I am growing as a person so much. I cannot say any of the things here helped me get my ex back, but they did helped me in a much deeper sense. If you want to know, my ex and I have been in contact after the silent days, we have had a few phone calls, and we are meeting soon. I don’t feel like we are getting back together; it doesn’t feel that way, but I suppose some things are hard to let go. I still feel like we were soulmates, he was indeed the most important person in my life, my best friend, and first love, but I now feel that what he did cannot be repaired easily. I think he knows it, too, and he is not willing to try, so it’s not worth it. I don’t recognize him anymore; I think all the lies he still says about me are just part of what he is going through to heal. I hope he finds peace of mind soon; it’s been 3 months and I sometimes worry about some of the things he does. He is definetely not taking the healthy way. Right now, I believe he is in some kind of a rebound of a rebound, and I tought it was going to hurt me more than it did when I found out. He has already fooled me twice with this type of breakup, shame on me. I owe it to you and your words. I deserve better.

This might be strange, but your website was like my best friend through this phase. Knowing myself, I know it’s going to take more time to heal, but I have stopped counting the days, I am just letting it happen. I might or might not write again in your website (I hope I don’t), but thank you, again, and again.

Sincerely,
V.
Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:10 am

Keep that computer handy.

It’s going to be an important to for you in the future.

My money is on a hybrid between him having fun and it being a rebound.

How old are the two of you guys?

Ema

August 27, 2015 at 7:13 pm

Hi,
We broke up last Sunday, on Monday I sent him a message “miss you”. he didn’t reply. On Tuesday I expressed my love and said that I could forget about everything bad but no reply, so I decided to disappear.
why we broke up?. The man I love is the older brother of my ex. when I discovered this and told him, he denied, I don’t know what was the plan, we were in love, we re from different cities, I never met the younger brother, we used to talk only via internet, but I met the older, he said he loved me and would marry me, he promised me of many things.. but I discovered that he used to lie to me,..
I wish we could make it up :'(
Nikki M

August 26, 2015 at 11:46 am

Hi Chris. I was wondering if you could help me. I was with my ex for 9 years from the age of 18 (first loves etc) and we broke up and I found out he was texting another girl a lot younger than him. we went back and forth and ended up not spaking for 2 months. he was particularly mean to me and I moved on.. then he had a realsiation of how badly he treated me and I gave him another chance.. he then pulled away again and this has been going on for another 6 months. we try and be friends because he wont let me cut ties and wants me in his life.. we talk almost everyday but then we will argue. I have asked him if he is texting anyone else or seeing someone and he says no, he doesn’t want to be with anyone. but then he gets angry about it and says “I can do what I want and talk to who I want”. Is it time for me to move on?!
kate

August 23, 2015 at 11:14 pm

hi Chris,
I broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago. we slept together a few times and I felt like I was being toyed with. I then pulled a prank on him which he found to be an invasion of privacy. he got really angry and said he couldn’t look at me the same and I was a child. it’s been a week and we haven’t spoken. what do I do to make it up?

Chris Seiter

August 24, 2015 at 5:49 pm

Do the no contact for 30 days.

louna

August 23, 2015 at 1:38 pm

hey chris, I wish I could red the article before for more details.
Well I d been in a distance relationship with my ex for 6 months, (meet once a month).He was so lovely and saying great things.Suddunly , A month ago he travelled with his band of friend, and change stop calling and texting, I asked him what happened he said he discover that he likes me with no strong feeling and prefere to keep me as a friend!
I was extremly sad, but i enter the NC period, then he texted me on fb saying lets just be friends plz I dont wana loose you a sa friend.
Now I dont know if I should admit the fact that he maybe had never loved me and be his friend(he is good guy) or keep the NC to hope that he will figure out he loves me?

Chris Seiter

August 24, 2015 at 6:10 pm

It’s up to you, if you want to be friends or back together. You’ll have to figure out a way to move closer though if you plan on doing the LDR thing again.

sara

August 22, 2015 at 2:29 pm

Heey, I love your website so much!

My ex boyfriend and me broke up 2/3 months ago. I was the one who ruined it, unfortunately… He misunderstood me and thought I broke up with him, I didn’t, but I cant say that what I wrote didn’t seem like it, I didn’t realize what I wrote until he told me not to contact him anymore, I tried explain myself, but he didn’t want to listen. I texted him non-stop for two days, apologizing and begging him to take me back, I then realized it was a bad idea to do that, so I did the no contact rule. I broke him, he was heartbroken and really mad. We broke up a couple weeks before summer, so I used summer for no contact. I didn’t contact him after the month of no contact, I just couldn’t because I was scared of him ignoring me like he did the past times I texted him, so I just did nothing… now we started at the same “high school” (I’m from Denmark so it is not the same as other countries) I see him every school week, and he keeps looking at me, I didn’t look at him at the beginning because I wanted him to think that I didn’t care about him, it hurts so much seeing him and not talk at all. I wanted him back so I started looking at him to, we made eye contact many times, and when I’m with our mutual friends he come closer and says hi to them like he want me to get jealous or something.. My friend was mad at him because of me, but I told her not to be, I still care about him and don’t want anyone to hate him because of me. I told her to go talk to him and solve it. When she spoke to him, he was the one who brought me up, he asked question about “us” and asked what my side of the story is of our break up, and what I told people, he had another opinion, he said I was so mean. She told him that we have to solve the problem, he didn’t say he wanted to nor that he didn’t wants to, if he didn’t want to he would have said it. I decided that I should speak to him again, but I am a big coward when it comes to speaking to him and his always with his friends and they know everything so its kind of embarrassing going to him and his friends. I told my friend to go ask him, she did and he said “bye, I have class now” he didn’t lie, he did have class, but I got a little sad, like he didn’t wants to speak to me, but why is he acting like he does if he don’t wants to speak to me? After class he went over to her and told her that he was scared to talk to me, and that he is a chicken when it comes to me. He said the exact thing when we were together, he had done something in his pass and I found out, he just couldn’t tell me because he was scared to talk to me about it (It seems like he doesn’t like to talk about feelings face to face). I got a little bit happy because if he didn’t care he wouldn’t be scared talking to me. I think that he is trying to ignore his feelings by not talking to me, and cant if he do talk to me, its like I’m his “sore point” maybe he is scared that I will hurt him again? He is a really stubborn guy btw. I believe that it’s best to go speak to him by myself… what do you think I should do? Please help, I really want him back
Diane27

August 21, 2015 at 2:01 am

How am i suppose to handle an ex bf who comes back when im already married with another man? He knows i am not happy with the man im married, and he is convincing me to divorce my husband.

Chris Seiter

August 25, 2015 at 8:59 pm

I’d advise to stick by your husband and try to figure out a way to be happy together. He’s the one who took the next step to marry you. I have a feeling your ex just wants you partly because someone else has you now. I’ve seen it to many times, the wife leaves the husband and then the person she leaves him for only lasts 6 months. By the time she wants the ex-husband back he is already taken. You do not want to end up in that situation.

Layla

August 15, 2015 at 11:00 am

You are the best and the website is for sure the nub 1 relationship website.

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 10:55 pm

Thank you for your support!

Layla

August 15, 2015 at 10:55 am

You are the best and the website is for sure the nub 1 relationship website.
If i might brief you a bit, my bf broke up with me 4 months ago. he felt overwhelmed, asked space and said he has nothing to say other than he needs to be alone. Since than i tried everything including suggesting to be friends and told him im over the break up and want my friend back. We work together, we were close friends for 6 months and we dated for 4 months. We had one big fight at work and he yelled at me and me at him. It was awfull. Than after few days i tried to talk to him and suggested to be be friends again so he paniked and said lets keep it simple and move on. So i decided to start a true limited contact ( since i hv to work with him daily), since than he called once for work purpose (i think) but didnt answer him, he asked once how i was doing ( i replied im gd only) he tried a few jokes, and we met at a friends wedding so he invited me to dance with our other friends but i declined. I am commited to NC. He also invited me for a coffee at the work coffee shop and touched my hand once. My reactions were simple and didnt show attention or neediness. Than suddenly he went distant again and start ignoring me all over again and acting in an aggressive way. Im completly lost. I thought he starts to get closer!!! So being angry again at me is a gd sign? And should i stay in NC?!

Layla

August 18, 2015 at 12:26 pm

Its been 2 months in limited contacts. Well i dont know i thought he is trying to fix things than suddenly he became angry and distant. And i am completly lost now. Why this sudden transformation? Should i stay in NC?
Chris Seiter

August 19, 2015 at 3:13 am

Try going into no contact for another week and then reach out through text.
Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 10:54 pm

Great job!!! How long have you currently been in no contact? If you think he is honestly trying to get back with you and that is your goal then a coffee date would be fine but if he is just going to string you along and be friends then it’s not ok. You know him best…

Ruth

August 11, 2015 at 3:23 am

Hi Chris, My Ex has a friends with benefits – we broke up once before and he was seeing her, we have since broken up again and he has gone back to the same girl – he told its only sex he is not attracted to her – can you please advise what I should do

Thanks

Chris Seiter

August 19, 2015 at 3:55 am

It sounds like he is playing both of you. Go into no contact and regain your power in the relationship.

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1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”