18 Proven Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back (Based On Research)

1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

Sharlene

July 13, 2014 at 3:33 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I broke up 5 days ago after a 3 years relationship. He said he was done and needed to go out and “do him..”. I found out through a friend who saw him out at pub that he was hitting up a girl and they exchanged numbers. I also found out that he’s been texting her but she isn’t replying back (he told his roommates who told me) I know you said that this may be a coping method but when a guy says “he’s done” and “fed up” does this have an alternative meaning and is he “hitting up” girls to fill the void or has he really gotten over me?

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:19 pm

Go out and “do him.”

Am I the only one that hates that phrase?

He could be filling the void.
Shar

July 14, 2014 at 4:38 pm

I’ve been implementing NC but you think it’ll work if it obvs looks like he’s quickly trying to move on?
admin

July 15, 2014 at 2:43 pm

Sometimes quickly trying to move on is the worst thing you can do. He hasn’t confronted his feelings yet, hes running from them.

daisy18

July 3, 2014 at 8:25 am

hi there Chris!
my ex an i broken up for 5 months, did nC for 30days successfully and he texted in between and still i ddnt reply. and up to today since last month our textin has made progress..weve been exchangin messages..and when i text him first which i have for like 3 times..he responds right away and even if the reply is “text u l8 im busy” he still does..also weve made plans for dinner twice but both ddnt push thru coz he forgot of stuff he had to do etc..pretty much work related stuff. thing is, i founs one of his possesions with me and told him about it..had it with me for 5months and jz told hin days ago..and he got mad..mad that he ddnt reply my msgs anymore..so i called him 2 personally say im Sorry (we havnt met in person its been 5 months so callin was the least sincerest way)..he said he was mad and ddint feel like talkn 2 me coz of what i did “i stole that thing from him” technically when i “stole” it it was when we were arguing abt the break up so i was upset that time. i feel hopeless..things were OK, our communication was progressive than before we barely text.last month i spoke to him abt 5 times on text..while past months were zero…. please tell me what to do Chris..
thank you xx

admin

July 7, 2014 at 5:34 pm

Well, first things first. You need to build attraction.

ileana

June 30, 2014 at 2:58 pm

Yes I initiated nc rule but is it really effective after 3 months of breakup

admin

July 3, 2014 at 12:37 am

It can be yes! Were you two in contact before then?

Heather

June 29, 2014 at 9:29 pm

Hi there! I don’t even know where to start really. My bf and I were together a year and 8mos. It’s only been a week since we’ve broken up and we live together. He told me he is emotionally unavailable and doesnt know why and doesn’t know what he wants and has a crush on a co worker. Me being a woman I freaked out screamed at him called him every name in the book and told him he needed to make a decision and
Move out with in a week. It’s been a week and he has made no decision as to if he wants to stay or go. He hasn’t started sorting or packing or anything. We don’t sleep in the same bed nothing. He references he doesn’t know how he feels and it’s not fair to me and he doesn’t know what’s going in in his head and he’s crazy and he may have to move out and pay rent on his own and figure it. He has referenced these things many times.Our convos consists of who will be home to take the dogs out. We are very civil no arguing no touching no I love you nothing. I’m devastated and I love him so
Much and I’m willing to work on this with him. But I’m kind of confused as to what the hell he is doing? And where I’m suppose to go from here! How do I act? Do I kick him out now and tell him tough I don’t care what you do or where you go? Get out of my life? I hate the not knowing and I’m completely exhausted at this point with trying to rake my brain on what to do. Do you have some insight or advice?

admin

June 30, 2014 at 2:34 pm

Sounds like he got the grass is greener syndrome.

Does his crush reciprocate the feelings?

Eli

June 23, 2014 at 1:45 am

What does it mean if during NC he is telling people (mutual friends) that he “just wants to be friends” and “wants to know how she’s doing”?? He has tried to contact me but I haven’t answered and then today I hear all this crap about being friends and wanting to know if I’m ok blah blah…what does it mean?

admin

June 23, 2014 at 2:27 pm

How close is he to these friends?
Eli

June 23, 2014 at 4:51 pm

He’s quite close with them but he also knows that this friend talks to me (it’s the friend that told me he wants to be friends, he hasn’t said anything himself.) I’m torn whether he’s saying it because he’s being a jerk and wants to see if I’ve moved on, or if he’s using it as an excuse to get his foot back in the door. He DOES seem emotionally invested in some way, shape or form.

Ileana

June 18, 2014 at 6:20 am

Hi Chris,
I need your help. Things were going good in my life with my boyfriend but 1 day he called and said we have to behave maturely and it will be good for our future. I never felt for you but i was trying from my side so that things will work out. As we are relatives, we know each other from childhood so he was giving me lame excuses that it will be good for our families because we did not go too long into this. But he use to call me once in a week.
So please tell me he wants me or not

admin

June 18, 2014 at 2:01 pm

Will you be initiating a NC rule?
ileana

June 30, 2014 at 3:14 pm

Hi Chris,
Yes I initiated nc rule but its been 3 months and we called each other once in a week. But now I don’t want this kind of relationship where I have no idea what will be the result. Today is 12th day of nc and last Sunday he called me and messaged me but I didn’t pick his call and didn’t reply. Yesterday he messaged me again that I know u don’t wanna give damn to me and its your life but I just want to know how are you…
So what’s that mean?
What should I do now. I am confused need your advise

Chloe

June 16, 2014 at 12:29 pm

Hey! So last year my ex and I broke up, as a result of my mistakes of cheating and lying. I know its bad, but I have finally forgiven myself. He recently returned from a 10 month deployment in Afghanistan, however, we decided to not talk while he was overseas and to see how things went when he returns. He called,emailed, and texted me the day of his arrival to see if I wanted to come over. I’ve been to his house two days in a row and both times we’ve had sex/cuddled. When I’m over, he still takes care of me like we’re together and sometimes he’ll stare at me while he thinks I’m not looking. I texted him letting him know that it was nice spending time together.And he said the same, but called me a “cuddle buddy.” He’s also in the process of moving and asked me if I wanted to help him. I love him SO much and we were previously engaged.I’m not sure what we’re doing or where we stand. I don’t know if he just wants me around for sex or if he still cares/wants to be together? How do I approach this situation?

admin

June 16, 2014 at 2:35 pm

You should read my guide on exes who use you.

Mily

June 15, 2014 at 2:02 pm

Hi,
I broke up with my ex the other day because I found out, ONCE AGAIN, that he was hanging out with his ex. We have been together for 16 months and throughout our relationships he’s been caught hanging out with his ex about 4 times and has even told people not to tell me although they did. I confronted him and he denied it and makes excuses constantly like they bumped into each other and just said hello but I know for a fact they were acting as if they were best friends. I’ve told him in the past he needs to stop seeing her and he has to change and he said he has and then the other day I see a picture of them uploaded on a social media site which his ex uploaded of them shopping. At this stage I had enough and I broke up with him. Now, he’s been messaging me saying how he knows he needs to be able to say no to her and he’s going to change and he wants to get back together with me and will do anything to get me back. But I’m just not sure if I can go through it all over again, even though I still love him. What do you suggest?
Natasha

June 15, 2014 at 11:47 am

Hello. I love this article and I think I need some help.
I’ve been together with my boyfriend for 9 months. He was actually the only one I dated with after I broke up with my first boyfriend (it took me the whole year to got totally over him) So a few weeks ago I had to move out of our city given the circumstances at that time. I wanted us to work even though we were having a distance relationship. It was hard because he is younger than me but I tried so hard for us to work out.
A few days ago though, he broke up with me. He had been acting weird few says before that, so it wasn’t like I didn’t see that coming. But still, I was shocked and didn’t think he would do such thing after everything we’ve been through.
His reasons were, he couldn’t take it with me bring a thousand miles away from him. I replied, “you remember what I told you about breaking up with me right?” I used to have this belief that once a string is broken, it could never be fixed again. I didn’t believe in dating in your exes, simply because I believe the word “breakup” wasn’t something you could take back so easily. He said he was fine with that and he understand the consequences of his decission.

Three days later, his cousin texted me and asked how I was doing. I said I was fine (I used to be so close to his whole family so they were all sort of rooting for us) after a little chitchat, she asked me about our breakup and I explained it to her. After that she told me how much of a mess my ex right now. He became really silent and getting mad on such small things. She also told me he wanted me back but he was afraid I wasn’t going to give him the chance so he asked her for help. I told her that he should do more than asking for help from his family if he wants me back. I also said it doesn’t matter how much he’s gonna try, I don’t even know if I’m gonna accept him back in the end. His cousin thought it was worth the try and agreed that he should put on some effort himself if he truly is serious.

So now he’s kind of try to talk to me again but I don’t know how to respond. Should I be all cold? or should I not reply at all? I’m afraid I will give him an exception only because I’m still in love with him. But I’m also afraid he’ll do the very same thing in the future if we got back together. Please help.
Renee

June 14, 2014 at 8:58 am

Hi there hope you can help. I split with my man 2 years ago. He was a widower and didn’t know what he wanted. We had been together for 2 years. It’s now 5 years since his wife passed and 2 years since we’ve had any contact. Out of the blue he has sent me a text reminding me of his birthday and reminiscing about our relationship stating he didn’t know why he was making contact but he felt the urge to do so. Can someone explain why he is reaching out to me? Did he want me to respond by telephone wishing him happy birthday or is he being a selfish ass? I have not heard from him again ( 3 weeks since the last SMS). Is he testing the waters?
What does he want?

admin

June 15, 2014 at 4:21 pm

2 years since you last talked to him?
Renee

June 16, 2014 at 4:17 am

Yes – 2 years since I had any contact with
him at all ie no personal contact, telephone contact, SMS contact. I’ve had zilch contact with the man. I’m wondering if he’s just woken up as to what he’s lost or whether he’s just lonely and decided to look in his black book and thought I’ll send her a text or whether he’s finally dawned that I’ve moved on and he’s made contact just to re-awaken all the emotions?
That is he’s an ass! Can you enlighten me on what this male behaviour is all about? Please. R
Rene

June 15, 2014 at 6:56 pm

We have not spoken in 2 years! R

Dee

June 13, 2014 at 5:39 am

Hi. My ex and I dated for just under 3 years, half of the relationship was long distance, but we saw each at least weekly. We had our share of ups and downs, but we seemed to always work them out. In December, he proposed. Things were awesome from then through March, but in April he became distant. We didn’t really see each other and hardly ever talked. At the beginning of May, I addressed this issue. He immediately made plans to visit and spend some time with me, to “assure me of his love for me and seriousness” and to rebuild trust. A couple of days after he left, we had a minor disagreement and he became distant. On Mother’s Day he broke up with me and “he can’t give me what I want” was his reason. I don’t ask for much and our disagreement was geared towards my feeling he didn’t want me around for the holiday weekend… I went through a week or two of probing him just to make sure he was sure about his decision, because in the past we’ve reconciled within that time frame. He said he couldn’t answer that question each time I asked (a total of 3 times in those two weeks). Eventually, I took his not being able to answer as my answer and started NC. I completed just under a month’s worth of NC and worked on myself. About two weeks into NC he started sending text messages, pictures, etc. He requested my friendship on social media and started to call my phone nightly from a blocked number. He finally called from his own number and I decided to answer. All communication since then has felt like he’s just wanting to know if I’ve moved on… what should I do, because I want him back, but I don’t want to make a fool of myself if he isn’t really interested…
Please help!
Alejandra

June 10, 2014 at 1:53 pm

Hi,
My ex and I were together for 2 years and we also lived together. We broke up exactly one month ago and neither of us contacted each other again.. until last night. He texted me asking me to please call him because he had something to tell me. I called him a few hours later. I was trying to arrange my thoughts and be prepared to what I had coming. Let me just point out that I had no intentions of getting back with him during this no contact period and I was actually doing pretty good, going out, seeing friends, studying, taking care of myself. I did think of him on a daily basis but I guess that’s normal after a break up. Anyway, to make things short he basically wanted to tell me he was taking a trip to Bariloche, Argentina in one month and wanted me to come with him because his life dreams included me and he still loved me and he was thankful for this month of not talking or seeing me because it helped him to find himself and figure out what he wanted. We always talked about moving out of the city and had plans to do it but he was always very unstable and never made up his mind, which was something that drove me crazy. He asked me if I still loved him and offered to pay for the trip because he really wanted me to see how a different quality of life could be beneficial to the three of us ( we have a dog). I did not answer any of his questions because he really caught me off guard. I don’t know what to do I still love him but we were so different. I am afraid this might be just an impulse of him. Help?

admin

June 11, 2014 at 4:20 pm

Are you still living together?

winterkiss

June 6, 2014 at 8:20 pm

My exboyfriend and I broke up in a weird way…well..basically he left me without a word…I have text him quite few times then stopped texting him…but still he hasn’t even text or call me even once…I have no idea what happened…it happened 4 weeks ago and I have stopped contacting him after 2 weeks of his no contact…
Do you think he has moved onto someone else?
I’m not planning to contact him anyone..came to realise my silence is telling him everything…I want him to know silence is girl loudest cry…

admin

June 7, 2014 at 4:45 pm

He just left with no explanation?

How serious was your relationship?

Abbie

June 4, 2014 at 4:07 pm

If my ex told me the whole time we were gonna stay together and get married, then changes his mind after 8 months and says he thinks we’re “done”, do I have any chance of getting him back considering that he wants to be friends?

admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:37 pm

I think there is a chance. Dive deeper for me. What was his reasoning fo rchaing his mind?

Riley

May 30, 2014 at 3:23 am

My ex and I started “dating” in jan 2013 after meeting in nov
2012. We dated until June 2013 when I asked him if I could start calling him my bf. he said he doesn’t like titles and has issues with commitment and didn’t have the job he wanted. I backed off for a week told
Him to make up his mind about what he wants because I couldn’t continue this situation. He called and texted everyday for a week even after I explained we should not talk right now. Finally we ended up hanging out again, never discussed anything and everything went back to normal.
A few months later he got the job he wanted so I asked
Him again while he was away in training, what are we? Are we bf and gf and if we aren’t I’m not waiting around for you. He said we can be whatever you want. I said well it’s what you want to not just what I want. He agreed to it yet never called me his gf to one single person would always introduce me by my name and that’s it. Everyone else knew we were together his friends and stuff but it’s like he couldn’t say it. At the end of feb 2014 we ended up breaking up, we got into an argument at his friends wedding bc I heard he had been planning on splitting the cost of a hotel room with a guy friend attending the wedding and hadn’t planned on bringing me to the event. I was very hurt by this, if I’m your gf wouldn’t u want me to attend events with you special such as these? He told me he didn’t see a future with me based on the last year and a half based on the argument and he doesn’t want to have to explain his reasons for things and so on and so forth. Since the break up we have spoken every single day (we have been broken up 3 months now) and we hangout all the time. We hangout more now then we even did before. My birthday just passed and he bought me an expensive burberry watch and wrote me a card saying “we have been through a lot this past year and a half”. Every morning he texts me rise and shine to wake me up for work. We haven’t slept
Together in 2 weeks and he never starts it up it’s always me. He said he doesn’t want me to think he is using me since he doesn’t want a relationship. He is constantly doing favors for me and offering to help me with everything under the sun. We have plans to see a concert together in 2 weeks we see each other 2-3xs a week and talk multiple times a day the same way we did in our relationship. I sleep over less but he has even allowed that in the same exact bed without being physical he turned down my advances. I tried to kiss him after he gave me the watch and he said “he isn’t ready yet” when I brought it up he said he never said that. I feel like I’m losing my mind. Is this guy unsure? Why does he keep me around? I have explained my
Feelings are stronger than friends he is aware of that. He said he doesn’t know what to call our “situation” and is trying to be respectful of my feelings and it is wrong to sleep with someone unless you are in a relationship. Why can’t this guy be with me? I asked him if there is someone else and he said no he doesn’t wanna be with anyone. So why talk to me everyday?
Jessica

May 26, 2014 at 12:03 pm

Hi Chris, my ex is very angry with me to the point that he has blocked me off from all communications. Previously he wanted to give us another shot, but because I didn’t handle it well (pestered him, questioned him, didn’t give him space), he decided not to work things out anymore. After around 1 month of NC, I called him yesterday using my office phone and asked if we could meet to talk things out. He hasn’t replied on whether he wants to meet, but has stated that he doesn’t feel comfortable. I know his heart is hardened towards me right now. May I know if this is a loss cause?

admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:34 pm

You should have slowly led up to asking him out through text messages.

A

May 24, 2014 at 12:34 pm

Hi, I loved your article and i really need help. Me and my boyfriend were together for a year and broke up a few days ago during of a fight. we were fighting and I said that if he is not seticfied he can go look for a better girlfriend, and he said that he will. He is saying i broke up with him but actually it was a big misunderstanding and we just broke up during that big fight. I was trying to ignore him and I know he was sad at first because our mutual friends told me that he said he was. He wass trying really hard to make me jelousby flirting with my friends in front of me and complimenting them all the time. I was ignoring that and the day after he tried to contact me and texted me, but I dodn’t respond. Eventually, my friend made me answer him so i answered a cold and short reply. I guess he got mad and now he is trying to make me jelous even harder and talking bad things about me, blaming me for the break up and the fight saying i was the problem in the relationship and saying i was a bad girlfriend. I’m still not talking to him. He sent me another text saying i am immature, cruel, have no feelings and selfish, but i didn’t reply. All of our friends are mutual friends and everyone says we are 100% getting back together, but actually I’m not sure if he wants that because of all the things he says to my friends about me. He also told them he doesn’t want to get back together soon and that we wants to get over me. I was pretty sure he is saying all these things because he knows my friends will tell me but I really don’t know anymore..
I really need your opinion.. Please help
Thanks for listening.

admin

May 25, 2014 at 2:30 pm

Seticfied?

What in the world is that?
Scottish Pie

May 27, 2014 at 2:10 am

Satisfied . . . It’s misspelled, but wasn’t so hard to deduce that she needed to be criticized after putting herself out there . . . Easy Tiger.
A

May 24, 2014 at 12:37 pm

Soory for any spelling mistakes

Sarah

May 23, 2014 at 11:45 am

Also I see he is back on the dating website we met on and usually he checks it everyday but he hasn’t been on in 2 days which is why I think there may be another girl 🙁 I am a very jealous person and after seeing what I saw on his fb I didn’t trust him one bit which made it worse because I would accuse him of anything and everything and he couldn’t even go out for one night with out me asking when hes gonna leave and when he’s coming over. He has a lot of girl mates which doesn’t help because he goes to their bday parties and I also don’t trust him because I know hes very social and probably flirts with a lot of girls +his best friend is a player ugh I’m just so lost and idk what to do I just wanna be with him and be happy but I can’t help but feel stupid for being with someone I can’t trust and every time he does something I don’t like I try ignore it but then I feel like a weak person so I have to bring it up which results to me getting mad cos he always says its no big deal then I feel like he doesn’t care so I dump him
Sarah

May 23, 2014 at 11:35 am

Hello everyone whos reading my comment including (hopefully) the admin 🙂 so me and my ex have been broken up for almost 1 month I think BUT we did still see eachother and he would still spend the night during our break up until I told him it would be easier if we kept our contact to a minimum..he texted about a week ago and we had a short convo I saw him a couple nights ago as my mother still talks go him and gave him a call to come help with some things (ugh mothers) lol. Anyway me and him met on a dating website almost a uear ago and have been off and on since the first time we met almost 10 months ago I’ve caught him talking to girls on fb but we got through it as he deleted his pg til another breakup then he reactivated and when we got back together I asked to swap passwords but he said no because thats his “personal stuff” anyway I left it because he said he’s not hiding anything and even though I never believed him I just wanted us to work out. I did kiss another guy while with him but we got through that..and um he is actually quit a good guy tbh and I love him a lot but I think he may have another girl he’s trying go pursue 🙁 because usually he tries to work things out with me when we break up but this time he hasn’t. When I saw him the other night he said hi and we had a little laugh but when he left he kinda gave me the cold shoulder and didn’t even say bye? I’m just wondering would he be missing me? And is there any point in trying to get him back or shall I jist move on? I am always the one indicating the break up and he comes back every time..except this time 🙁

admin

May 23, 2014 at 5:44 pm

Are you still seeing each other?
Sarah

May 23, 2014 at 10:10 pm

No I told him we shouldn’t contact eachother as much anymore. And before my mum rang him to come help with some things I hadn’t seen him for almost 2 weeks

Katie

May 21, 2014 at 5:08 pm

My ex broke up with me about the first of April. He indicated that it was because I had much more feelings for him (love) than he did for me. (He liked me well enough, but that’s it?) He also said that he did not foresee a ltr with me. (Ugh!) For me, our 10 month relationship was always questionable in my mind. He and I did much together .. even travelled to see his parents for a week, out of state. I met all of his friends and family and went to all of the functions that came up. I spent a lot of time, in my mind, trying to analyze what we had because, even though we spent a lot of time together, did much together, I could tell that he did not want to commit. And so it goes.

We had been in contact here and there after our breakup. Me saying the usual things .. that I missed him so, wanted to get back together, etc. The last time I communicated to him was via text. That was May 3. After that it was 16 days of NC. That brought me up to yesterday. He initiated a text yesterday morning.. asking me about a job situation he knew was going on. I did not answer .. thought I would not. But, then he texted yesterday evening.. asking if I was going to talk to him. After about two hours I texted him back .. he ended up calling me. We spoke for a half hour. The way he spoke to me .. seemed to me as he always has throughout our relationship. No different. We kept the conversation mostly just about filling each other in on what’s been going on with us. He did ask me how I was doing (meaning with the break up, cause he knew I was heartbroken) I told him I was okay.

I have a problem with texting the wrong people sometimes. If I don’t pay attention I will end up sending a text to the last person I’ve received a text from. Well .. I did that this morning. The guy that is working in my home (my handyman) left a voice mail. He always has several choice complimentary words and wished me a good morning. (And then went on to talk about the particular project he was working on for me). I did a voice to text back to him ..”thank you .. and a good morning to you. No ___ until we talk, okay?” Well, I thought I texted that text to my handyman. It actually ended up going to my ex. (ugh!) Ex called me a couple of minutes later saying that he had two questions. Wanted to know what I was thanking someone for and who I was texting. He then started laughing cause he knew it wasn’t met for him. But .. he called me?

I know, a lot of nitty gritty stuff here. Some that probably is not so important. The main thing to take away from all of this is .. ex liked me well enough to keep me around for 10 months .. but not well enough for a ltr. Considering my situation and what has gone down since he broke it up with me, do you think there is any chance that I will be able to get my ex back and possibly even more into me than he was previously? I would settle now though .. just to get him back and interested in any way shape or form ..

Sure would appreciate your feedback..

admin

May 22, 2014 at 3:53 pm

10 months is a pretty long time actually.

I think there is a chance to do what you said. What was his reasoning for a breakup with you?
Katie

May 22, 2014 at 4:24 pm

You ask what his reasoning for the breakup .. I copied this from my original post..

“My ex broke up with me about the first of April. He indicated that it was because I had much more feelings for him (love) than he did for me. (He liked me well enough, but that’s it?) He also said that he did not foresee a ltr with me. (Ugh!)”

So, basically .. the breakup was because we were not on the same page. He said he had feelings for me, just not as strong as mine were for him. Of course, because I was over invested, I came across as needy/pushy to him too.

My own assumptions of our situation is that he was all good/just fine with how things were going. Even with my stronger feelings for him. It was when I verbalized how I felt he “downgraded” me in the amount of time we spent together, that he decided that he needed to break it up. He said that if it went on any longer he was afraid that he would hurt me even more.

What are your thoughts about those reasons for a breakup?
admin

May 23, 2014 at 5:05 pm

When you were dating him did you think that you had more feelings than him or did you think things were even?
Katie

May 23, 2014 at 6:54 pm

The first few months feelings were equal. At about the four month mark my feelings for him changed dramatically. And grew even more as time progressed. He verbalized that to me a couple of times even. He said he was fine with that .. as long as I didn’t make “unreasonable” expectations on him. In this case, I guess he defined “unreasonable” as me wanting to spend more time with him..?

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1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”