18 Proven Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back (Based On Research)

1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

Amanda

May 15, 2014 at 6:09 pm

Does it help when an ex bf makes a comment (over the phone) that his ex gf sounds very different and is bubbly and happy? My ex told me that yesterday after he called and heard my voice for the first time since March. We have texted on and off…I do want to work it out, but I’m not putting my life on hold for it bc this crap can be too fickle. However…if I act like the woman he didn’t know was beneath the depressed woman he dated…that should help right?

admin

May 20, 2014 at 5:36 pm

Sounds like he is trying to rub it in to you to me.
Amanda

May 27, 2014 at 8:05 pm

What does that mean? “Rub it into you”

He has started initiaing contact for the past 4 days non stop and even suggested us seeing one another later this week. Asks if I’m dating, sex with who and so on. I just play it cool bc he has said we aren’t getting back together, but now I’m confused and honestly ready to throw in the towel and block his #. However I’m told to be patient. We only broke up to fix our personal lives and we have kept in contact the whole two months since our split. At first I was very girly and irrational about it demanding answers (stop cringing lol) and now I’m just hot and cold…no expectations. Now that I’m calm and not “punishing” him for “ignorning” me and just rolling with it he seems to be opening up more telling me about his day and asking about mine. Telling me good morning and even telling me his family says hi and misses me. So stinking confusing bc he says we aren’t getting back together. Ugh
admin

May 28, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Oh like,

“Look how good I am doing. I hope this hurts you to see.”

Molly

May 15, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Background is that my ex and I met online–2 months after he asked me to be his girlfriend and 4 months after we met, I noticed he was still active every day on the dating site. (We hadn’t seen each other 2.5 weeks at this point so I was getting a little suspicious, so I checked using a blank profile–I had deleted my profile a while ago). I asked him about it and he just became defensive. Few days later, we talk about it again, he claims he hadn’t signed on since we talked–I didn’t believe him because the site still showed him as active every day, so I broke up with him.

I did the no-contact thing without realizing it and didn’t hear from him during that time. I emailed him about a tv show after 5-6 weeks, just a link to a fan site and he responded with another link within an hour. I responded two days later with another link. About 5 days later he responds saying he liked my link and then says he’d like to let me know that his profile only showed as active because of something to do with gmail. I asked how he found this out and he said he asked somebody who also used that dating site.

So I’m wondering why he’d tell me this nearly 2 months after we broke up? And do you think this “somebody” who also used the site is a new girl? I’m just confused and don’t want him to think he’s in control by me responding in the wrong way.

Thanks!

admin

May 20, 2014 at 5:30 pm

Maybe a ploy to make you jealous?

Esther

May 14, 2014 at 1:28 am

Me (21) and my ex (26) went through a pretty bad breakup. I posted all the details elsewhere, but basically we broke up like three times already. (Granted one of the times didn’t really count ’cause it was spurred by illness and a mutual friend.)

Well, it ended pretty badly. I did try to reach out to my ex through some emails. I Skyped him like two months later, but he remained angry. Like you said, that means he still cares for me. Here’s an issue: when we broke up, he was quite harsh. He had told me something like, “I’m done with you, enough is enough. … Please don’t contact me, I won’t contact you. If you do, I will call the police.” Again, the last line was repeated in our Skype convo.

So I’ve basically told everyone about this guy. Half of the people think it will blow over. At least if we don’t get back together, I can take him out for coffee and wave the relationship goodbye for all we’ve tried. The other half, however, is very concerned. Typically people do not threaten to call the police. They’ve even gone so far as to tell me that if he is nursing this attitude, LET IT GO and DUMP THE ASSHOLE. Even if he comes back… You might wanna reconsider taking someone who threatened legal action on you.

I did speak to the police. They were on my side, saying nothing illegal happened. Under the First Amendment my ex is free to say those things. However, no legal action would be taken. Ultimately, whether I contact him or not is my decision. Especially since I’ve not sent any threatening emails. Just relationship stuff (ex. letting go, moving on, reflecting).

Clearly, the breakup affected my ex more than he’d care to admit. Something similar happened the first time around, too. He’s been in a rebound relationship (failed). He’s been avoiding his phone (I tried even with alternate/Unknown numbers). He’s persisted in a bad mood.

I don’t think he wants to Skype with me anymore. So the only thing to do would be sending him an email.

Now I think my options are either:

A) Send him an email describing everything. Then shut the door for some time. If I get lucky, he’ll most likely get over such an issue 6-12 months later. And then I could bring him back. I’ve done that with friends in the past. The only problem with this? He might move on too much (ex. engaged) and forget about me. Plus, 6-12 months is still awhile for our relationship. It only lasted three months.

OR

B) Retry the 30 Days of No Contact. Then I’ve gotta find some way to talk to him again. Even then, I need to devise a strategy for clearer communication. I’m currently doing NC now. However, after all I described above, I’m a bit skeptical it’ll work out.

Any other suggestions? What do you think? This burden has weighed me down long enough. Thanks in advance.

admin

May 14, 2014 at 4:07 pm

Just give him some time before you communicate with him again.

Helen

May 13, 2014 at 6:00 am

Hi,
I hope you can help me. I had been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he broke up with me a few days ago. I knew in my mind the NC was the best way to go, we have broken up before and I did my best to move on.. NC, rebounded yada yada. Eventually, he wanted me back. This time, stupidly, I gave in to my inner turmoil of emotions and emptiness and contacted him. This just ended up making me feel worse, as he said he feels nothing for anything (he has had depression for some time), he needs space and time to build himself back up from this, and he wants to experience life without a partner and be alone (we are both quite young) and that he knew he couldn’t and wouldn’t build himself back up whilst he was with me. He said that his doubts had been going on for months, that he just didn’t feel the same. I didn’t see any of this though, I only noticed him being distant a couple of weeks ago. I thought we were good. Now all this. We lived together, so he moved out when we broke up. I’m devastated, as you can imagine, and that’s why I’m here. I want him back. I know that NC is still the best way to go from here on out (even though I really just want to apologise for being such an emotional wreck and calling him in the first place). Problem is, I have no clue if he will ever want me back or if he’ll just move on. We don’t see each other, I have no idea what he’s doing with himself (if he’s rebounded, or wanting to) and I can’t eke tabs as he blocked me on Facebook (probably shouldn’t be obsessing anyway, right?) so, I don’t know how to tell if he wants me back. He left some of his things here so if he contacts me during NC to get it back should I still ignore him? Or should I let him get his things and have to deal with seeing him/talking to him again and face the possibility I may go back to square one? He’s as stubborn as the next man, when he makes a decision he generally tends to stick to it.. Also with the depression, I don’t know if he even feels a thing. HELP. Please. Do I have any chance or should I just try and move on??

admin

May 13, 2014 at 5:34 pm

Go get your things

Lucy

May 13, 2014 at 2:17 am

Ok, I need help ASAP! I’ve been following your guide for the past 2 months. I broke up with my long distance boyfriend of 6 years a little over a year ago. 8 months ago, he started dating another girl and stopped talking to me pretty suddenly and without warning. I sent him a cute “remember this” text 2 months ago, staying appropriate because I knew him and his new gf are still together. I got a positive text back, but it definitely cut the conversation off. About 3 weeks ago I tried again with a funny story text and again, got a positive text that effectively cut off any movement in the conversation. Next week I’m going to be back home, so I texted him letting him know that I’d love to catch up over coffee…
I recieved a long text back explaining that hes sorry hes been such a shitty friend, but he still really cares about me. he would “like to be friends with me again one day” but doesn’t think he can do that yet. he said that, because i know him better than anyone, he hopes i understand and that he really does want me in his life in the future. and that he still misses me and thinks about me all of the time.

i think my problem is that i obviously dont want to wait til he wants to be friends with me for us to hang out… because i want more than friends. But I also am afraid of being too forward in my response because I do know that he has a girlfriend, who he has been dating for around 8 months. at the very least, I’d just like to talk about where we left off and be able to have a normal conversation again.

Help?!

admin

May 13, 2014 at 4:58 pm

8 months… that is not really a rebound anymore.

Buffy lover

April 27, 2014 at 2:16 am

Please help! I have the suckiest situation on my hands.
I was dating my boyfriend for about 7 months and I loved him so much. We had issues early on in the relationship but we got through it. And about 5 months into the relationship he went through depression and we got through it together and everything was going so amazingly. Of course he still had issues but he understood that no matter what I’d be there if he a breakdown again.
He broke up with me a week ago totally out of the blue. There were no signs, he just told me he didn’t feel the same way anymore and he didn’t love me like he used to and that it was wrong for him to be with me if he didn’t love me completely.
He doesn’t have an explanation as to why he feels differently. However he still tells me I’m the most amazing person and how good of a person I am, and how beautiful he thinks I am.
He’s so insecure and since we broke up I (typical) messaged him constantly and called him, begged for him back. All that annoying stuff girls that have been dumped do.. And he wouldn’t have a bar of it. He said it was unhealthy for us to talk.
Then I decided to follow your NCR and I got a reaction. He wanted to see me and talk to me, and he messaged me and told me he misses and everything is really hard for him and he didn’t mean the things he said about it being unhealthy that we talk.
Even more recently he messaged me and asked me not to kiss anyone and he constantly makes cruel comments about how I’m going to go home with some guy in a couple of weeks, and how I’m going to move on easily and quickly. He got jealous and said horrible things when he found I was with some guy (I was just talking to the guy).
It really sucks because I love him so much and still want to be with him but he’s sending me all these mixed messages and despite the fact that he’s been kind’ve nasty, he’s such an amazing guy and he’s made it clear that he still wants to be friends and that he’ll do anything to make sure I’m safe and happy.
I’m so confused. I don’t want it to be over and part of me thinks he doesn’t either bit I just don’t know anymore.
Please help me! I
noa

April 22, 2014 at 10:09 am

Hey,I’m in a really desperate situation so I’d like some advice. My ex and I were together for 5 years. We met in my country where he was a foreign student and everything was really great. We never had fights, we were each others first true love. When he finished school,I moved with him to his country. Well, that country is really really different from mine (in culture, language, religion etc.)…After 6 months there I was kinda feeling like I’m on a vacation that should’ve ended already. I was home sick…I got depressed…and all he said was ‘suck it up’ and ‘get used to it’…eventually,I just needed to come home because I needed my family to figure some things out (I never had doubts about him…I just didn’t know what to do career wise with my life and I felt pathetic and small because he had everything figured out). So I came home at the end of November and in January I realized that all I want is him and running home was a mistake..I should’ve pushed through and done everything to get used to my new country (because I was depressed there for a while,I didn’t even want to go outside to get to know my surrounding and that was wrong). Then he told me that he needs time to think about whether I’m the ‘one’ or not and whether he should take me back…he was thinking for weeks and I was seriously going crazy. So finally he told me that he never thought he would do this for any girl but he loves me too much and he wants me back. And then I completely fell apart because those weeks he was thinking was pure torture and I suddenly remembered other things that he told me back in January (that what he’s asking of me, moving to another country, learning another language, leaving his family and converting to a new religion…these things he would not do for me). Anyway,instead of being happy that I can go back…I was miserable because he’d told me awful things before. And then we were fighting on skype because I wanted to stay a little longer for my grandma’s 90th birthday and I needed to get some things done before going back. He told me he needs to know the exact date of my return so he can change his work schedule and spend time with me but I couldn’t tell him when exactly I’d be returning and he got mad and told me that I don’t even want to be with him. Later on we got into another fight because he said things like his sister’s relationship is so easy and his friend’s fiance is so cool because she cooks and cleans for him and doesn’t let him do anything around the house and she spoils him every day…so he was comparing me to others and I got mad over it. It was a huge fight and 3 days later he broke up with me and told me we were just too different, there is no point in me going back there, it would be a waste of time and he loves me but he is no longer in love with me. 5 days later he sent me all my stuff back via plane. I fell completely fell apart and after I calmed down, I wrote to him and apologized for everything and poured out my heart to him..we were communicating some but he was quite cold with me and I started to lose all hope. Then suddenly, one night we were talking and he told me that he is in love with me and can’t live without me. I got carried away because finally I got what I wanted but I told him that I want to take this slow and maybe he could come to my country for the weekend or I could go there for the weekend to make sure that we can figure things out before I move back to his country. His sudden declaration of love came out of the blue and I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t just a momentary thing. I told him that he hurt me very deeply and I was scared because he had told me all those awful things. 3 days later he wrote on whatsapp that he is very disappointed about my decision. This is not what he wanted but he can see that I’m not going back and that I don’t love him, I was feeding him bullshit all along when I told him I loved him and wanted to go back and that we shouldn’t communicate anymore because my emotional ‘drilling’ is what led to this situation and it was just a momentary weakness on his part (even tho he told his family that I’m coming back and all)…this was two weeks ago and we haven’t spoken since…
I’m really confused and can’t get over the fact that he broke up with me on skype (without the video) and then on whatsapp…I’m thinking of going back to his country for the rest of my stuff and talk things through with him. Do you think it’s a good idea? Sorry for the long post

admin

April 22, 2014 at 4:55 pm

To get your stuff I do.
vanie

April 25, 2014 at 12:47 am

hi my bf and i broke up a week ago i broke up wit him because i thought he was cheatin on me n i couldnt deal wit it i let my insecurities and anger get ahold of me. i tex him in between to say i missin him he told me he is fed up of the arguments and he dont want to come back. we been together 2years and 3 months i love him and i know he do to. we have broken up alot in the past and he tried to get over me by rebounding on a girl and he came back because he said he couldnt get over me. is it possible dat he wud come bk?? plezzz i love him and i want him back. please i need advice??
admin

April 27, 2014 at 1:16 am

Of course its possible. He isn’t dating the rebound is he?

Christine

April 22, 2014 at 8:51 am

hi there, i have recently been dumped by my boyfriend after about 6 months of breaking up and getting back together. i think 6 months ago, we could’ve done with the NCR but it never happened and we just got back together and then the issues that had been there before were never resolved. i really love this guy and i hope he loves me too (although he’s claimed he doesn’t believe i loved him – not true, but reading your website has made me think that he’s said this to hurt me – it worked)
anyway, i really want to try the NCR but i’m scared that it might be too late to try and salvage the relationship as he said “he’s done, he’s had enough” etc etc. i’ve emailed him once to tell him i dont think we should talk for a while (this is before i read your site) and he replied agreeing and telling me to take care. i’m so confused and i want him to contact me NOW! i dont think i can hang on a whole month thinking this way, its effecting my sleep, my job, my eating, my general feeling of well being. i know that it will pass in time, but i dont want to get over him. i’m sure you’ve read many many comments from women all over the world saying the same thing so i know you’ll have an idea or two to help me alone here. also, he’s as stubborn as a mule. he’s the type of guy who makes a decision and sticks to it. i just hope this isn’t one of those times. i really love and miss him and as much as i can see past the relationship and know i can live without him, i dont want to be without him, pathetic as it may sound, i really od love hima nd want to make changes to our lives to make the relationship stronger and better for the future. i just wanted his help 6 months ago to do this and he never did. so really, if you have tips on how i can get him back, how to get through the NCR, how to get him to contact me first and also how to make the relationship better the next time around (hopefully if there is one) i’d really appreciate it. thanks
Rohini

April 21, 2014 at 4:45 pm

Me and my boyfriend dated for 5 months. When we were in a relationship, i accidently called my ex boyfriend and my current one got to know about it and he was very frustrated. We were happy even after that. After 15 days he broke up with me telling me this reason. He couldn’t accept the fact that i called him. I apologised to muchh and i begged him to come back for 2 days, but he didnt. He still says he loves me and says he wont be able to get over me. I jist wanna have him back, but he says he cant patch up as he isn’t able to forget what happened. Please help 😐

admin

April 22, 2014 at 4:36 pm

He broke up with you because you accidentally called your ex???

Cassy

April 21, 2014 at 2:48 am

Hello, I’m very confused and need your help if you can please. My ex broke up with me November 8th 2013 (6 months ago). Two days later he was already in a relationship. Basically I will tell you what happened from then to now, I will make this as short as possible. We were pregnant when he left me at 6 months pregnant, I put my daughter up for adoption and she was born January 22nd and me being me told him he could be there at the hospital with me which was the last time I’ve seen him. It was a bad mistake, we argued. Since then we’ve talked here and there and or argued about his best friend and I talking cause his best friend liked me, so he yelled at me about that. (I haven’t dated anyone yet since the breakup, I miss and love my ex still. But I have tried to move on, went out to eat with a guy and made out 3 times with one of me and my ex’s friend) anyways, in march I got asked to go to a concert with my cousins boyfriend (he’s like my brother) and I also got told my ex was gonna be there and he knew I was going as well… So it would just be me, “my bro” and my ex…. But it turned out the day of the concert it got sold out so I didn’t end up seeing him, but that same day I texted him to be friendly and let him know the tickets were all sold out and he told me he knew and blah blah blah (this all happened March 27) so since then I haven’t contacted him. About a week ago he contacted me asking me how I’ve been and he hopes I’m kicking butt at school doing a great job. And I read his messages (on Facebook) so he could see I read them but I didn’t respond till two days later. Then we started to talk more and he wanted my daughters onesie, like a little momento or something so I agreed…even though he doesn’t deserve it. And then he said also to catch up on things blah blah blah and I said ok and then he told me to choose the time and date. So I made one then he wasn’t responding much and then said he was busy on that day and I told him to let me know when he knows he’s free. He said ok. Then he scolded me today about me being friends with his friend (which he is now my best friend now, we made out, but I decided I just want to be friends cause I’m not fully healed yet and he has his ex issues as well) anyways, I have NO IDEA why he’s this upset about me hanging out with our friend. He said “dan your new buddy buddy now?” I said yea… And then he gets all mad. Anyways my friend “dan” said that my ex and him talked and he told me my ex said he’s not doing too good with the breakup, and that he can’t block me and he has some feelings for me still and he can’t not talk to me. We were together for 2 years and I’m 22 and he’s 23 years old, we are two stubborn people and we argued a lot, but I swear we both liked it, it was our way of love I guess, we were perfect, we were best friends. We’ve been through a lot of hard times together. I need to know what to do and I need to know if he still loves me and wants me back, please help.
M

April 20, 2014 at 6:11 pm

My ex was cheating on me with a coworker (from what I can tell he is still with her). This is 6 months ago and I left. A family friend has been telling me all of this (She offers, I do not ask), because they are not the biggest fan of the new gal. His family still reaches out too. He evidentially does not really have much contact with any of them anymore.
We were together for 3.5 years, owned a home together, etc. I have had very limited contact with him since. I sent a few emails to get my items from the house, trying to split cell phones, trying to get the money that I put into the house etc. In total 7 business like emails. Nothing crazy, just saying what I needed from the house or to take me off of a notification and asking him not to be there. I have been working on myself and I feel like I am heaps better than a few months ago. I look great (lost about 25 lbs), stopped smoking, and got on with my life. I miss him though. I think about him all the time and I REALLY don’t like where things were left off. Anyways, he reached out the other day via email (1st time he initiated since I left). The email was nice, wishing me luck on one aspect of my life right now, congratulating me on a triumph, thanking me for a gift I sent him for Christmas. At the end he asked about separating the phones. Something I was asking him to do 3 months ago before I started my busy season at work. I emailed back saying I couldn’t deal with it until May and that I wanted to get a few of my left over items at the house. My issue is this, I am angry, but I also want him back. I don’t know how to approach this. How do I act when I see him sometime in May?

admin

April 20, 2014 at 9:26 pm

Breaks my heart to hear stuff like your situation.

I guess my question to you is,

Do you really want him back?

daisy18

April 19, 2014 at 11:14 am

hi Chris,

Your site has given me alot of push to focus strictly on NC. i have completed 30days..and during the NC period over 21days my ex texted me twice (a day after the other)..i didnt reply coz i was really doin NC very well..i replied eventually after NC period is over thus a 2days after the 30th day.. in his texts he was askin how i was doin and that he saw me somewhere..and like i said i replied acc 2 his question.. and told him i was “distracted” recently so it took me a while to reply. and thing is.. he hasnt replied at all and on whatsapp we all see when a user sees our msgs so.. How do i know what his reactions are? how do i know what his intentions are for not replying me yet? i cant tell if he is upset like what ur article here says.. I replied 2 his txt after 4 days..like u said “the reaction of him bein ignored by me”..how can i tell the “reaction”..
please help..id appreciate ur advices.
thank youxx

admin

April 20, 2014 at 3:36 am

I would say that he is probably upset…

But thats ok.

Amey

April 18, 2014 at 8:59 pm

hi. I have had a friend for 15 years online. we always had some feelings for each other, and just last year by some miracle, we decided to take it seriously and get it on the next level. We were just saving money and we were finally going to meet, get married, the whole works. We’ve known each other half our lives anyway. Then I caught him cheating online. After much confronting, he said it wasn’t him, that he just got hacked etc. I believed him cause I didn’t want to throw away what have. But what spelled our doom was when he refused to remove the girl from his social network, he went ballistic when I stopped replying to him. What hurt was he seemed to egg me to break up. That he was going to call it if I didn’t reply. So I did what he did. After a few weeks of crying and moving on, I messaged him ( I know violated NC Rule) I just wanted to be there for him because he is due for an operation and I wanted to see him through. So we are talking normal again. But I noticed that each time we start to be sweet he changes the subject and ‘disappears’ the next day no message nothing from him. We had a talk a few days ago and he admits the feelings are still there, but he doesn’t know what he’s feeling now after the breakup. He didn’t ask me to wait for him like he did before. And even if he didn’t repeat what he said during the breakup, he wasn’t shoving me away and tells me he always wants me in his life no matter what. So after that great conversation, he’s cold. No message from him nothing.
So please tell me, does he still want me back or am I just grasping on straws? Cause I still feel a lot for him and don’t mind starting all over again..But how without scaring him away

Ms Needing Your Help

admin

April 20, 2014 at 3:27 am

Mr giving you help!

Well, it seems like he is afraid of you getting the wrong idea. Just means you aren’t building enough attraction and hitting him where he will really think of you in an “in love” manner.

Elisa

April 14, 2014 at 3:30 pm

So me and my ex dated for 4 years and a half, he was going back and forth to me saying he didn’t know how he felt. He just didn’t feel the same anymore and he didn’t want to force it either. I Know that he had been having contact with a women from work that I always questioned but he said that she was just a friend so I believed him. After that he started being distant. Until finally 3 days ago he decided that he wanted the “single life” and just didn’t want to keep dragging me with him coming back to me. He says there is no women but I clearly saw it on my phone that the same day we broke up he was contacting that lady. ( keep on mind he was under my phone contract) so I got mad and disconnected his phone that same day. And now I find myself lost because he changed his number. I mean we did have our ups and downs but we always tried to work through things. And now I feel like I don’t know what to do. /: I miss him a lot and I love him so much more. We were eachothers first love because we were both juniors in high school when we got together. I want him to come back but I don’t know what I can do because he changed him number..
Please help.
Emily

April 14, 2014 at 11:40 am

Hi Chris
Why would an ex, who broke up with me almost a year ago, suddenly message me? One night in February he randomly mailed me on Facebook and we’ve been talking every day since really, but only 1 message a day, not more than that or I’m concious of looking needy. We’re both young and didn’t even date for more than a few months, but now he’s speaking to me with the same flirty tone he did before he asked me out, bearing in mind after the breakup, HE would ignore me even though he broke up with me for no reason.
Help, I don’t know what he’s doing?!
Blablaa

April 13, 2014 at 7:26 pm

hello, im Trisya. my boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. 2weeks plus before the breakup we were still good together. we still texted each other in a flirty way like how we always did. just that we didnt talk that often anymore in that one month before the breakup. like i said, we still talked 2 weeks before the breakup , but as the conversation ended, he didnt talk to me at all for 2 weeks. i didnt try to talk to him because it was me who started the last few conversations with him. i felt like i was the only one trying so i stopped. i wanted him to put some effort to talk to me like how i did. so i waited for 2 weeks. couldnt stand that anymore so i finally talked to him. as the conversation goes we started talking bout our relationship and i asked why didnt he talk to me. and he gave me quite a ridiculous answer. he said by not talking to me, he expect that i would slowly forget about him and get to someone better. he said that he doesnt deserve me, and that i could be happier with somebody. but we were still together, how could he do that without ending the relationship properly. i didnt even know he was planning to do that. what if i didnt talk to him how long he wouldve dragged this on? thats the thing he did that i can never understand. he made everything seemed like he was doing it only for me. but i knew it wasnt. i knew he was doing it for himself too. so as we were discussing he just suddenly stopped replying. and thats how we ended it. 5 days later we were attending an event together with other friends we both knew. he texted me after that event. i was so angry to how he could still act like nothing happened after leaving me hanging in the middle of a discussion bout our feelings and relationship, so i ignored him the whole day, which i never did before. that night itself he texted me again saying he was sorry and that i could never understand why he did that. he prayed for my forgiveness. and then replied him, after a while we started talking like normal again as a friend. after it ended we didnt talked for another 2 weeks again until i changed my whatsapp dp, he messaged me again complimenting how beautiful i looked in my new dp. so we talked for a day like normal friend again until the convo becomes a lil boring and he just stopped replying again. and a few days after that we were attending another event together with our friends. (i changed my hairstyle and dyed it) soon after the event ended, he messaged me again complimenting my new hairstyle and colour. again, we talked and still, he flirts a bit at times in the convo. he went asking did i come with this guy friend im really close with to the event that morning. i told him yes since we were staying really close to each other. (he stays really close to me too) and suddenly his replies became different and he started to reply short and late. and i did the same. at the end he just stopped replying me. i never understood why. i didnt even understand why he keep coming back and leave. what does he actually wants. he hurt me and left, then made me feel like he wants me back, then left and leave me hanging like that again. sometimes he makes me feel like he still cares about me but sometimes he makes me feel like he doesnt give a shit about me.i dont know what to do 🙁
Patricia

April 12, 2014 at 7:36 pm

Hello, I’m Patricia, I’m 15, and I had recently been hurt by a very perplexing and confusing breakup… I really need advice, I’ve tried to find things on the internet that may help, but it doesn’t work.
Basically, what happened, was my boyfriend broke up with me out of nowhere from being together for about 5 or 6 months. His name is Gage and he’s a few weeks younger than me. I came home crying after school because it hurt that he would do that in the morning at school, so I was depressed and emotion-ridden throughout the day. The next day, I didn’t want anything to do with him, but I found out he lied to me, that he liked this other girl, Janica for a while, so I came home crying once again. That day, after school, I had gotten sick out of nowhere, so I stayed home from school the next day, and almost took it as a personal day, my parents thought I was faking my sickness because of him, but I wasn’t. Gage messaged me on Facebook, and asked if I was alright, I told him what had happened, he told me on Monday he wanted to remain friends, but I agreed anyway, even if I hadn’t been friends with an ex before.
Spring break had come up that following week, he was now in a relationship with Janica, and I was alone to pick up my strained emotions. He said that he was just seduced by her, and that he apologizes for leaving me. So Spring break turned into a dramatic week (I was feeling a bit better now). Gage told me he still loved me and I apologized for not being good enough. I came to the conclusion that I just wasn’t the type of girl he wanted. He kept saying how he has mixed feelings for Janica and I, saying he wanted both of us, but he knew he couldn’t. He said how he was trying to get her mad so she would break up with him so he could be with me again.
The next week after Spring break, we came back to school, he got lovey-dovey with me over Facebook, even while still in a relationship with Janica, that night, he asked me to meet him somewhere before school to kiss him, because he said he missed me and needed to kiss me again, but I knew I shouldn’t have done that, because he didn’t break up with her, he keeps saying he loves her, but I can see she doesn’t treat him well. He doesn’t like cheating, but he kissed me twice throughout his relationship with Janica so far. I finally told him how I felt after he asked me if I was holding back. I told him that I felt like we were meant to be (we have had a number of corresponding dreams, even after the break up), even after a few weeks, he had “moved on” so quickly, but it still hurts for me. I also told him that I had a feeling that he and Janica wouldn’t last very long, he said he wanted to be with me again once she left him, but I also had a feeling he would not get back with me. I had found out on the day before we broke up, he cheated on me with her, so she’s more sexual and seductive than I am. They have already had sex. I’m still a virgin, and he wanted to have sex. I just told him that I would be there for him as a friend. He told me that he still trusts me more than his friends and (I’m assuming) his girlfriend. He wants me to wait for him, but I don’t want to always be the one that waits for the other person. I asked him how he would feel if our situations were switched, and he said he would be pissed off that another guy took my virginity, which I honestly thought was a bit obsessive when he said that, because I wouldn’t be his anymore in the first place.
I would really love advice on this perplexing situation of mine, I can give you updates and details if you ask for them. Please help o.o I don’t know if I’m handling this very maturely or not.

admin

April 13, 2014 at 4:37 pm

How much older was he than you?
Patricia

April 13, 2014 at 7:46 pm

I was older than him by just a few weeks

Lu

April 12, 2014 at 11:37 am

I’m getting my things back from my ex today I’ve played it cool on the text front so far but I will implement the NC rule after this at the time that was what keeping us in contact after today they’re will be nothing this is the 2nd break up for us he’s said for me to move on as he doesn’t know what he wants in life but when he knew I was asked out on a date he got funny with me I’m confused
can the NC rule help again like it did the first time?
elisabeth

April 12, 2014 at 5:32 am

hello! my boyfriend and Had talked for a year before we started dating. we moved in together last summer, and lived with each other for three in a half months. he then had to move away for hockey until this summer and we had done long distance for 8 months. we had our fights, our jealous moments and our controlling moments but other then that each time I visited we were great. two months ago he had called me and told me he cheated on me and brought up some things he had lied about. I was so hurt I broke up with him and rebounded. he called my parents crying and begging for their forgiveness, he stopped playing hockey, he sent me flowers and wrote letters and then got a tattoo for me. when I visited he got on his knees and begged me to be with him. I took him back, returned home and we were working on fixing things. I was supposed to move to where he was four weeks ago. he called me one morning and broke up with me saying he hasn’t wanted me for months and we aren’t right for each other and that were toxic. i went there and we were normal and hooking up and then one night told me to catch a flight back. the night before my flight I had him hugging me and crying on my shoulder saying he was sorry: I came home three weeks ago. in the past three weeks he has messaged me about a dozen times, he keeps telling me he wants to be friends. we are moving to the same city in 9 days and have the same friend group. he says he wants to go for coffee when we are both there. I told him I wanted more than a friendship or nothing at all and he got mad at me telling me he wants me in his life. he kept saying he’s not closing his mind off to a future with me and he has an open mind for anything to happen. so I said why can’t we try now is there a chance we will get back together if we’re friends. and then he said he doesn’t think there is a chance. so again I said I can’t be friends and he told me he never once said there was zero chance for us ever again and keeps mentioning the future. I’m so confused as to what he wants and where his head is… I know what he did was wrong and I shouldn’t want him but I just want us to fix things and take a second chance at being together.
Lor

April 12, 2014 at 5:13 am

Hi Chris,

After my ex forced my hand to dump him (because he started being interested in another woman, I cut him off entirely, although it ended amiably. On the very last day of NC, Day 30, he texts me saying “I hope this isn’t inappropriate, but I wanted to see how you are doing?”

Technically, there’s been no time for me to “ignore” him because he didn’t say anything for almost ALL of NC.
How/when should I respond if I DO want him back?

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