18 Proven Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back (Based On Research)

1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

Renee

March 17, 2014 at 4:20 pm

Hi Chris,

My story is a bit strange. So my ex and I were very very happy until we moved in together with some roommates. Not too long after this I became depressed and anxious. I had no private time to myself even though we had separate rooms, I had no door, I couldn’t go to bed very easily and the roommates were always in our business. After 6 months of this I had a few breakdowns and acted out in anger and being anxious. I have severely embarrassed him in front of the roommates and even set up a fake call to prove he wasn’t a cheater which this is what set him off. He acted out in so much anger he called me a mean name said f8ck off etc. He said its either a break or a breakup and I told him I just wanted a break that I needed time to get over my anxiety. So shortly after this I proceed to talk to his family a little about the situation. I know I shouldn’t have done that probably but his family is pretty much my family. We’ve been dating for almost 2 years! He tells me we are broken up with a chance of getting back together only time will tell. I stopped talking to his entire family. Been quiet for over a week now and still am. He had separated on his Facebook status for over a week while he was away from the house and the awful roommates. As soon as he got back to house shortly after he puts his status to single. I have been trying the no contact rule I just hope it is going to work out between us because we are very compatible and both have same views for the future. He is still angry at me. I have moved out of the house to get away from the negative roommates and he came home to the house practically empty. The house looks so lifeless now that I am away. He told me that our contact will only be for emergencies and retrieval of each others property. He said he doesn’t want to speak to me. I read in this article him being mad is not necessarily a bad thing. He agreed a couple days before he blew up that he wanted to save our relationship because we both have invested so much into it. He even made sure I met his family from out of state this Christmas! I guess he cares so much about me and cannot believe I made the mistakes I made. I dont know I am just trying to live my life and make friends but I do not want to give him all summer to come back that is just insane. He is more of the reclusive type of guy. He is a quiet person. He cared so much about me he cried when I had an anxiety attack and wanted to leave the house and I didnt care what happened to me and he said no dont go and he cried!!! I DONT understand why this is happening way it is… I love him so much and I believe he loves me the same hes just really angry at me I guess…
Thank!
delyth james

March 16, 2014 at 10:14 am

My ex has changed his numbee I think . Is there still a chance to get him back . Hes messaged me few times since Christmas .

admin

March 18, 2014 at 5:01 pm

I am writing a guide on this as we speak!
jenna

March 20, 2014 at 3:02 pm

Hey Chris, don’t know where to begin. I broke up with my ex about two months ago. We dated for almost 2 years. Before braking it off, 6 months past that things got really heavy and unhealthy in the relationship. He became abusive, yell at me so heavy when we would argue over small thing, controlling physically hurt me and I just couldn’t take it anymore. so I broke it off. He would msg me via email & text many times. I also did the NC, because I needed serious healing after going through such pain he put me through. Until I gave in and replied back stating it would all be ok, that we must heal for ourselves to become better and truly find ourselves before letting anyone else in. just a few days ago a good friend of mine told me literally after I broke up with him he started dating and I saw a picture of him w a girl. I honestly don’t what occurred to me at that moment. I messaged him the photo and told him some heavy stuff because it was hurtful to see when I know braking up with him was the best thing I did. So he replies in full attitude telling me it’s none of business who he dates now, that I’m the one that broke up with him. That he has moved on and so should I. Well as stupid as I felt hearing that. I reminded myself why I broke up with him in the first place and that I should always value myself worth and not let him belittle me the way he use to. His last msg was to tell me to move on and let go. I accepted, agreed & let go. Not gonna lie it did hurt, wish I could have seen this site earlier to give me extra strength by not contacting him as I did two days ago. I now blocked him. Trying to stay positive, meditating and knowing I lost nothing but gained strength within my self. what do you think as a man’s perspective? I know I shouldn’t have but it happened. Haha made some poor choices but I know I can move forward and heal through time.
delyth james

March 19, 2014 at 7:04 pm

Waw your an absalute star . I think hes dating sumone as hes gone from always being on whatsup to hardly ever .

Anon.

March 14, 2014 at 10:30 pm

Hi Chris.
Thanks for your site. I saw it right before I started making a fool of myself when my ex broke up with me last week.

So….How do you know when your boyfriend doesn’t want you back??

I recently what I will call a mildly emotional breakup a few weeks ago. It was very unexpected and unfair. Our relationship was brief but we were really connected. Nothing colossal ever happened, but he seems kind of fragile emotionally. He suddenly froze me out. I immediately implemented NC. We both haven’t contacted each other, but a few days ago he unfriended me on Facebook. I was shocked! What the heck do you do in THAT situation?? Should I start to give up hope that I could get him back? I’m kind of surprised by this reaction actually and am just looking to see if trying to get him back will be a waste of my time, emotion and effort. What do you think? To me, he is worth the effort if I still have a chance.
Thanks so much.
jasmin

March 12, 2014 at 10:36 pm

Hi I have a question I been in a relationship for 9 years
And I have 4 kids with the same man.. I been threw so much with him on those years and now after 9years i decide to brake it off with him because on december i sense that a female was getting involed in between our relationship and i was right he was been cold with me but he was still been intimate with me he was distance and he stop caring for me he stop saying he loves me for while and he broke up my trust with lies and secreats and all the things he had done to me I am not saying I am perfect because I done my mistake but when it came to him I was loyal and faithful and he still wasn’t appreciate me because he was to busy entartaning some one else he was taking her places and writting to her offten and I told him he need to change I am suppose to be his number one priority but I guess I was not so that’ why I left him because he could it not appriciate. me and i say enough is enough but now that we are not together. He is with that girl so call that he has call his friends he could it. Not fight for me but he took the easy way out and choose her after I was his ride of die and I was loyal and faithful. To him and we have 4 kids together but is funny because if he is with her why he still come home to bbe intimate with me and now ge tells me he loves me and hates me i dont get it cant some one explain thank you
Sarah

March 10, 2014 at 4:03 pm

Hello Chris,

Im going to make this as short as I can… My ex fiance and I broke up back in 2006, I was the one reaching out to try again and make it work, and he was the one that was done and needed his space. However when a family member of his passed away or something upsetting would happen to him he would contact me. I let him be after waiting for years. After finally letting go and moving to another country he began to message me everyday, stayed in touch, never really mentioned getting back together just talked about music, which is how we first fell in love, and life. Then he started sending old pics of when we were together reminiscing. I was totally confused, this is the guy i waited for, and now he is playing mind games. He never directly says i want you back, he just says look how cute we were, we were so young, my hairdo was so ugly, bla bla. Then i move back to the country i left to get over him a few months ago, he attempted to take me out to dinner and hang out. Till this day he is very close to my mom, as he grew up without his, and his father passed away recently. My mother was with him while his father was dying, and helped arrange the funeral, etc.. So I gave in and thought its been years since we were together this is just plutonic and were friends… but he constantly plays our songs in the car, reminds me of old memories, gives me signs, then one day we have a convo about settling down and he says he has never loved a woman after me and hasn’t had a relationship since me, which i know is a fact. He dated girls but it was sexual, then tells me that he enjoys sleeping alone in his bed, likes the space, is happy with his life being 34, and isn’t ready for marriage. All the while he knows that i am 31 and only looking for marriage… why would he say that? Im getting mixed signals, its been so many years, i don’t get it. I let go because he wasn’t ready for a relationship, now he’s got me in limbo, which is effecting all of my relationships. I even started dating someone and told him about it to get him off my back, but he continues to message me music, quotes, and funny videos…I DONT GET IT!

Sarah

March 10, 2014 at 4:09 pm

Sorry one more thing, I don’t reply to his messages anymore and cut him off cold turkey, yet he continues to message. Chris your website is very helpful to read, thank you and looking forward to your advise.

Best Regards,
Sarah

koketso

March 10, 2014 at 6:00 am

I think I have pushed him away for good this time although I still believe we meant to be together. My ex and I broke up for the second time. The first time it happened in 1999 when he wanted to pay lobola but I refused because I wanted to further my studies first before committing my self to him. I didnt tell him the truth because he would have wanted to pay my fees, and I didnt want that as he was the only one working in his family.

I thought he was going to wait for me but he instate impregnated the girl used to be my classmate. He came to me at the school to tell me about the pregnancy, Knowing the family backround of that girl, I had to ask him to marry the girl (She didn’t have parents and grew with her granny). He asked to marry me aswell because is me whom he want to be with. I refused to be his 2nd wife.

Now I’m married with 3 kids, he is married with 3 kids. I’m not happy at all, he is not happy at all, because he told me so. I had to stay in the marriage for my kids sake. Three years back after we realised that we aren’t happy in our marriages, we decided to talk and do something about it. I hated my self for that and I refused to fix things with him.

To complecate things even more, his mother died few years ago, and her last wish was to bring me back in the family, she told his elder sister. He also told me that her mother kept on asking about me while she was stil alive. He complained about his wife a lot, about her selfishness, poor cooking, that she is not his type..etc, now he sudden changed his mind about us because her wife is not approving him to marry second wife, she told him that she will take the kids away with her. He loves his kids. I got mad and approach her, the wife, and ask her why doesn’t want to approve it, I didn’t fight with her. But my ex got angry and block my number. He told me he doesn’t want to talk to me or to see me because it will hurt him. I am in a process of divorce because of that, My ex and I we were so passionately in love. As for my husband he cheated and has a child younger to my second born. I have tried to fix things with my hubby for my kids sake but I can’t let him touch me or kiss me.i am out of options, I don’t know what to do.
Adriana Cynthia

March 8, 2014 at 1:03 am

Hello there. Thank you so much for this website. It has showed me a lot about the mind of a guy. Me and my ex dated for a year and I don’t even know why we broke up. Anyways, a couple of days after we broke up I found out he is back together with his ex. They posted their date on their social network, (instagram) bio and I was wondering if he even likes her or is just rebounding. He barely likes any of her pictures or even posts any with her. She posts a lot of pictures with him and makes it known that they’re together yet he doesn’t. He messages me and like an idiot I talk to him because I miss him and I feel empty. Everytime I mention his girlfriend he gets angry and when he talks to me he calls her his “friend”. If you do know, can you please tell me why he gets angry and why he calls her his “friend”? Also, we haven’t spoken since monday. Will he message me again?

Jahnace

March 11, 2014 at 9:15 pm

I need help. Me and my ex broke up four weeks ago and he pumped me up to believe he as gonna propose on my bday feb. 26th. We were together for 8 months. He told me a week before my bday he didn’t wanna be with me so I broke up with him but I also caught him telling his friend to hook him up with some girls 3 days before and on valentines day he went to that friends house & started acting different & disrespecting me then Sunday when I caught what he texted his friend the weekend before he went to his house on Friday I was hurt but stayed with him even though I couldn’t trust him he said he didn’t mean it. Then Monday he was saying sorry so much and then he switched and started yelling at me, then was nice the rest of the night, Tuesday was our anniversary and he was being nice then around 3 he started yelling again and told me maybe I should go find the one. Next thing I know at 5 he calls and is crying saying he’s sorry and didn’t mean it and he doesn’t wanna lose me so I forgave him then he told my mom sorry for how he has been treating me and told my friends he was still proposing so I trusted him. He said he was changing and wouldn’t act like this again. Then the next day Wednesday he was still sweet till evening at 7 he started yelling again saying he needs a break to decide weather or not he needs me and I hung up later at 10 I called him to break it off and he cut me off saying he would always be here & always be my diary and then I said if you don’t wanna be with me just say that and he said that’s what it is. Then I said I thought I was the one and he said you are it’s just and I hung up then he text me asking when I was coming to get my stuff and I said I would have my mom puck it up and he said what time and I said text her and ask and he put lol I deleted her number so I said ok then he said we can still be diarys right and I said no and he said ok lol and I ignored it then he went and posted all over social media how he was single within 20 minutes I was hurt but I stayed mature and the he was telling my friends he was done with me because of my attitude but he handled it for 8 months so I didn’t quite understand. Then he posted a picture of a couple and said this is what I want but he had it so I was confused. He’s 18 and I’m 17. People asked him if he was okay and he said I’m perfectly fine but I don’t understand because the day before he was crazy in love with me and would cry over me when I was mad at him or about to leave him. We were really serious which is confusing so last week he messages my friend he had never talked to asking how I was doing then Saturday he messaged my bestie saying what’s up and she deleted it. But in December when we were together I found on his Facebook him talking to this girl but he said it was his friend then January a girl called his phone when I was at his house and he said he hadn’t talked to hr since before we started dating and then few is when I caught the text in his phone and then we broke up 3 days later. I been crying and I’m just confused and real lost. & then he had his friend who dated my friend talk to her again & then ask about me & then his friend said well he doesn’t care about the break I guess.
admin

March 8, 2014 at 7:12 pm

The mind of a man is kind of scary isn’t it? hahaha..

Melanie F

March 6, 2014 at 7:56 pm

Heyy so im hoping you can give me a little advice from a mans/experts opinion here. My ex and I dated for 2 1/2 years. I was backpacking around and going with the flow, working on a farm in Australia when I met him. He courted me I guess you can say, very much. He really liked me, he knew what he wanted in life and he knew he wanted me I think. I was very aprehensive, I didnt know what I wanted in life yet, I wasnt looking for a relationship, I didnt want to get hurt. After some convincing I went out with him. I fell in love pretty quickly, he did too I think. He is a true gentleman and he did everything he could to make me happy, we had fun we did everything together but I started to get insecure. By no fault of his, my gypsy ways in the first place came from me not knowing or truly loving myself I think and even though he made m forget that insecurities for a while they slowly came out. He still loved me, he introduced me to people as ‘the one’ told me he wanted children with me. Scared the crap out of me with his seriousness.. I didnt have a horrible childhood but not great and from what i learned family wasnt that good of an experience to me, people leave, people stop loving you. I didnt think ppl were that good or that family was worth the pain. Anyway trying to make a long story short, as my insecurities got worse he tried everything he could to make me happy but it just got worse and worse. He moved to Canada for me to make me happy, didnt work. I think he almost broke up with me a few times, he wanted things to work and loved me a lot but I was just constantly pushing him away. Finally we broke, he gave up. It had been going on for a long time in a not good way, he said he knew for 6 months I wasnt going to come back to Australia with him. We hadnt been intimate in a looong time too. He was on the fence to stay together or not still then but we broke up. It has been over 3 months and I have learned a lot about myself and our relationship and what went wrong. I want him back in my life, I know how much I meant to him and how much he loves me but that I just hurt him a lot. And he means the world to me, he is that gentleman that any girl would be lucky to marry. We have talked a little in the few months after the breakup, he asked me for lunch once. But he had a hard time beleiving I have changed and am open to a family or living in his hometown after I put it down for so long and said he doesnt want to risk me changing my mind again in a few years or not being happy. I can tell it still was hurting him and that he still loves me but that he hadnt fully healed and is gaurded now from being vulnerable to me. He has also met a girl on a trip after we broke up and she is visiting and theyre currently on a vacation for 2 weeks which he said is not that serious but who knows. I know he needs someone to boost his ego again and fill that hole after what I did to it and maybe it could go really great, maybe it wont. But do you think, from what you know, that there is a chance still for a guy to move on after something like that and give things a second chance ? He leaves the country again in 2-3 months and I am trying very hard to work on myself and be ready for this if he talks to me again before he leaves. I made a big mistake and pushed him away and even if it doesnt work out and hurts again I hope every day that we get back together.
Anonymous

March 6, 2014 at 6:53 pm

Hi Chris,
Just wanted to say Thankyou for writing all this wonderful information.
I have a question of my own.

My ex and I have been together for 3 years. I would say about 8 months I waited for him to get out of jail. We’ve both been through a lot of stuff but his ADHD & bad decision making caused him to block me on Facebook one day. He said I was better off without & all he has caused for me was problems. But then he finally admitted there was another girl in the picture. He spontaneously met this girl hooked up with her got into a relationship & I pretty much said okay & went my separate way it’s been 3 weeks he unblocked me a long time ago keeps calling my phone to “check up” on me & i hang up everytime.

Yesterday I actually had a mature convo with him. He said that he’s doing better & he needs to come see me & talk about things. It’s the first time he’s ever done anything like this to me. But I know he was tired of hearing me complain about his lifestyle & crying about the loss of our child that I was only looking for comfort & he couldn’t be physically there for me. Now I’m not sure if I should go out to eat with him this Saturday or not. He asked me on the phone if I would ever take him back because he realizes & is hurt by what he did. He does have a tendency to make bad decisions sometimes but we were working on that & our communication skills a lot. Honestly should I close the chapter of this story or should I see how things go Saturday? Also he’s leaving the other Girl.

Thankyou so much !

admin

March 7, 2014 at 6:50 am

See how things go if he is who you really want.

BUT I am going to be honest with you. The jail thing… and bad decision making on his part is troubling to me but I am not one to judge.

jane

March 4, 2014 at 11:48 am

hi chris

Me and my exboyfriend fight till todate and its the forth month since he dumped me after dating for 7months. I know he is seeing another girl bt we can even quarrel via phone for hours.

angelica

March 21, 2014 at 2:15 am

Hi there me and my boyfriend where together for almost 8 months and we broke up cuz i found out he was with his friends and didnt tell me and he told me that i shouldnt care cuz i talk to other guys and to my ex but its not like that i havent texted him does he love me he hasnt even send me a message or called me does he care ?

Kay

March 4, 2014 at 3:48 am

Me and my Ex have recently started chatting again, two weeks ago was the first time we had skyped in over a month. (We had been long distance). We had originally broken up because of the distance, it was too tough, We had had a terrible argument, and all of our arguments were started over distance. So this was a few months ago. Then in January we had started talking again, and agreed to not talk for awhile before talking again, to rid feelings between us. In that time he had gotten a girlfriend, one of his prior ex’s (First love girl)After one week we decided to talk the week after. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On Friday we had skyped for 11 hours. (Until 4 AM his time). Here’s what happened: he had said that I was beautiful, that yeah, i was hot, so he understands why people say that, and apparently my mic was clearer than it had been so he could hear my voice a lot clearer, and he said I had a sexy voice. And he also said that he felt that i had cared more about him that his current girlfriend does. And we were laughing, and joking, and sometimes it felt kinda flirty. And the last 2 hours we just lied in bed looking at each other and talking about us. And I kept asking if he had wanted to leave, and he said nah, he wanted to talk and he wasn’t tired anymore. He also said that we had a bond. And it was a bond he doesn’t have with anyone else, because we can talk about anything and we get along good. And so we were just talking about us. And he had said that I was just a lot stronger than he was. I was always the stronger one. And that if I had lived closer it would have been different. We would still have been together. And then i said that sometimes i think about it. if nothing would have changed, and he said that he thinks about it too. And I had said that I knew one particular fight that had changed everything. And that one was the one that changed us, and he asked what it was, and i said it was one where he had shown me his ex’s picture. and he said that if he had known that’s what changed us, that he would have never done it. He also apologized for everything that happened. And we were just lying in bed looking at each other. So as we were laying there we were going back and forth saying what we had liked about our faces. And I’m like, oh, I like my eyes. and he’s like, yeah, you’re eyes are really pretty. And we went back and forth. Then whenever we’d just be quiet, we’d look at each other and just smile, and then he asked what i was thinking about, and I just said him, and I asked him, and he said that he was thinking about what i was thinking about, and he said he was just lookin at me. But then on Saturday when we skyped, it was a little different. Quieter, and while he complained about her a little more, he had also said that he couldn’t be friends with her after the first time they broke up, because he had still had feelings about her and it would have hurt him to see her dating someone. Which just kind of struck me as, oh, no feelings for me because we are friends now. So sunday we had talked again. Just chatting at first, then he left and randomly asked me to Skype. So we just sat there for a few hours, then we just laid down and started and started talking more serious again. But, the conversation got inappropriate. Hardcore flirting, then talking and joking about or sex life, sexual innuendos, jokes, he said I had a hot body, things like that. We went on a good while, jokes got deeper, talked about those things more, and it switched from what we did do, to jokes about now. And we kept saying that we should stop talking about it, because it wasn’t appropriate of us, but we went on. A few more times. Now, at the end I said that it wasn’t fair of us to do that, we shouldn’t do it again, and he said it wasn’t fair to her, or to me. And he said it wasn’t fair to me because he didn’t want to get my hopes up, or he didn’t mean to. And I told him he wasn’t, that we had agreed that it would never happen between us again, that it was over and that it was alright. And he told me to message him if I wanted to talk tomorrow. Now, What does this all mean? This is so much more that just friends, and at first I thought maybe there was a chance, but he has her, and while he complains about her, i’m not sure why we allowed it to get this far. This weekend we skyped again, Saturday & Sunday for over 5 hours each day, and we talked as friends, we actually got into an argument over this guy I had been talking to, (he doesn’t like him) and he talked about his girlfriend, how he’s miserable, how he’s staying with her though because he doesn’t want to be alone. He also said yet again that I was the only girl that he found attractive that actually had the same feelings for him as he did for me. He also said I was his best friend, and cared more than other people do. We flirted some more, he even left a little note thanking me for being such a good friend, and that I make him happy. Then today was a little bit of sex innuendo filled flirting..What does this all mean? Am I friend zoned? Does he still maybe want me? (so so so sorry this is so long! You just seem to give great advice, and I for sure need help)

admin

March 4, 2014 at 6:49 pm

I am writing something for this week that I think can be incredibly helpful to you.
Kay

March 4, 2014 at 3:56 am

Oh- Added side note- He also told me that to him if felt that he was more upset by breaking up than I was, which made no sense to him because he was the one that ended it. He said that he did cry over it a bit, and he was really hurt and tore up by it, and he was almost mad that it didn’t seem I had been as upset as him. And he was surprised that I wasn’t more upset that he was dating his current girlfriend. *Just a side note* 🙂

Lindsay

March 2, 2014 at 7:59 pm

hey Chris. so me and this guy Cameron(cam) dated on and off last winter/ summer. he cheated on me and I found out & broke everything off. this was probably late July. so he went back to drinking and weed. he would call me drunk & say “you’re a big part of my life” but then right after he’d say “whoever you’ve moved onto, make sure you wrap it before he taps it” and immature things like that. then I told him to leave me alone. he had some money he owed me so he told me to meet him somewhere. I was with my friend & I told him she would be with me. he answered “why can you go alone” and stuff like that. but I ended up meeting him there with my friend so he could “give me back my money” and he got out of the car and said “who you talking to now” and I said no one and he’s telling me he’s gonna go find my ex and beat the shit out of him. then he called me afte he left threatening to hit me, so my cousin hunts him down, I get my money and she hit him. we’ve decided to be friends since then. I lost my virginity to him & he knows that. & so recently (about 2 months ago) he started hitting up my phone again. he wanted to hangout & said because we owes me for being the way he was. we’ve been hanging out and having sex since then about every weekend. I won’t lie I love doing it, just because it’s with him. he won’t talk to me in school or around people because he doesn’t want people knowing he still talks to me. he tells me we won’t get back together because of everything we’ve been through. he told me that about 2 weeks ago. so, last weekend he asked to hangout and then he told me he couldn’t. I told him earlier that I didn’t know if I could because I might be hanging out with this guy Antonio. he didn’t seem to mind & Antonio ended up sneaking in and sleeping over. I also had sex with him. that was the FIRST and only guy I’ve been with since me and cams break up. cam wanted me to hangout with him the next weekend and I told him id have to see because I was grounded after I got caught with Antonio. he didn’t seem to care so we continued talking and then cam said “what did you and Antonio do” and I asked him why. he said “fucking tell me now Lindsay” & I don’t lie to Cameron so I told him. at first he was like “ohh” and then he started saying “who’s was bigger” and I said Cameron’s was. cam still got mad and said “I’m done, bye” and “can’t believe you” , “we’re done,don’t talk to me” and he said that kissing and making out was one thing but having sex with someone else was something else. he tells me he doesn’t care and tells me to move on but then gets mad when he finds out I’m talking to someone or doing stuff with someone else. it’s like he feels he owns me and my body and only him. I love him more than anything still & I have to act like I don’t care. he always tweets things knowing I’ll see it that says “I act like things don’t bother me when really they do”. he called me this Friday & said I wanna hangout then I’ll forgive you. so I was gonna give him good makeup sex so we’d be fine & I wanted to show him how much I regretted it. he kept calling me and wanted to talk to me on the phone. he kept saying “I love you babe” and I wouldn’t say it back and he’s like “why are you so mean to me” and “say it back” and he always tells me has hoes on the side but “I’m before anyone” and that I’m the one he could see himself getting married to. I just feel like I’m a side chick but then he gets mad at the little things I do. and when we hangout we don’t just fuck/have sex. we talk and cuddle and kiss and do cute things like as if we were still together. I just want your take on it & let me know what you think he feels about me and what’s going on with him and his mind. thank you!

admin

March 3, 2014 at 6:19 pm

To me it just seems like he is using you…

Erin

February 27, 2014 at 3:00 pm

Dear Chris,

I’m having a dilema, my ex boyfriend and I started talking and hanging out with eachother for about 2 weeks. He says its the happiest he’s been since the breakup. He also tells me that I’m what he’s always wanted at this point in my life physically and mentally. He also tells me he loves me periodically. Not to mention he texts and calls me all the time and asks to hang out all the time. The only issue is that he says he does not want a relationship with me or anyone at this point in time and maybe later or down the road. He’s very persistant on this one. We’ve dabbled back in forth about sleeping with each other but we decided it wasn’t a good idea, but he has kissed me. I also know that he hangs out with other women but they do not man anything to him. He says we are strictly friends and nothing else.

I told him recently I need a break from him. So I’m at my 3 day mark with the break and he hasn’t called out or texted but is constantly stalking my facebook page and liking all my photos and commenting. What should I do? I’ve been debating on telling him lightly that I want to move on and I need my space. But in a way he is my best friend and he genuinely cares about me. Should I continue hanging out and talking to him but keep my distance? Maybe he’ll be ready down the road? I’m worried about my emotional health though agreeing to hang out with him. What are your thoughts?
Mb

February 24, 2014 at 11:02 pm

Hi Chris I don’t know where to start and I found your site maybe to late. I want to buy your book but I don’t have my card with me.i decided I had enough of begging or trying to show him how much I love him. So I agreed maybe your right we are not meant to be. I said I don’t want to talk to him or see him anymore. He then ask why I’m still here I just need space. I understand space but space I want us . So have space but I was stupid 4 weeks I’ve begged I didn’t move out. Well I had no where to go. He cheated on me but I felt so hurt. I’ve been through so much with Nathan his drug addiction his family I did it all. Yes I ran away finally with another guy but I still loved Nathan. So I understand we have a lot of hurt but I’ve let all that go until he decided that another girls attention made him feel good.:( I ended up drunk n I hurt myself. The betrayal the shit I ent through for this man and he repays me by hurting me one last time. Nathan is devastated because … I don’t know. After 4 weeks I said no more. I love you but no more. He ask why I don’t want yo speak to him . When will you start talking to him? I made myself strong to n decided no contact but then broke it because he has my $16k in his dad safe so I need to contCt him I’m breaking I don’t want to talk to him anymore he ask when will you talk to me. He texes I’m still his best friend n will always love me n kids if we do or don’t get back together. They are my kids not his. I just go around in circles justifying shit loosing my value. So I want to have no contact! But my money makes me make the first move… Last night he sent me 193 pictures of us n kids. N also some Facebook ones that hurt him. I asked for pictures because I lost my phone . Started again it was nice but then I was getting hurt because the love in our pictures is ther…. I know we were happy n I know I can help him but I don’t want to be his Ftirnd I want to be his girlfriend life parter as I thought we were… I want to go away .. To be real honest how I am is not the person I have ever been. I know u r busy… As soon as I get my card I am going to read your book… I hope I’m not to late

admin

February 25, 2014 at 6:41 pm

Wha tspecific things do you need help with right now?

Angelle

February 23, 2014 at 10:44 pm

Hi. Now please don’t judge. My ex and I Have a kids together. When we first found out I was pregnant I told him that he could leave and never be bugged again. He said no that he would be responsible too, even though he is only 21 now. but is been 16 months and we are no longer dating, we live with his grandparents because we have no money to move out. we broke up a month ago, and the first week I told him I wouldn’t have sex with him. Everyday for the first week he’d ask if I wanted to have sex, I’d tell him no. I do have an addiction to sex and fighting the urge to have sex is hard but I fought it for a week, one morning I gave him a blowjob to level his attitude. Well after he was done, he turned me around and fucked me. I never asked for it, I told him to go down stairs after wards because I didn’t want fucked. For 3 weeks after that I’d be jumped every night. I hate being addicted to sex, but after a few buttons are pushed I can’t say no, and he knows all my buttons. We’ll he started seeing someone online and I told him no more sex, after a week again he started to ask me for sex again. I don’t answer him until he confronts me. He wants to be fuck buddies but he breaks all the rules. I know he is sending singles and us living together is the worst thing to do but we had no choice when I first moved in. his grandparents and him had gotten my stuff from the mission I was staying and signed me out so I couldn’t go back. He didn’t want me to move in because he knew if would be hard on both of us, but we had no choice, he had to obey his grandparents. And today he told me that we weren’t going to have sex anymore because a girl he gave 2 days to call him and didn’t, asked him out when he got to work and he said yes. I told him that he could keep the toy he bought for us to use and he kind of got mad and said that just today we wouldn’t have sex and that I will use the toy because he paid for it. I’m so confused and i’m already messed up as it is what do I do? And what does he want?

admin

February 24, 2014 at 6:01 pm

I wouldn’t sleep with him until he commits.

nissa

February 22, 2014 at 6:19 am

Chris,am realy scared I was in the NC rule and my exboy friend called I didn’t pick up he then sent a text saying he got into problems with traffic police and asked if I could help him with some cash to pay the police. So I called him and I sent him the money did I break the rule and does this means he want me back?
Amber

February 21, 2014 at 3:44 pm

Hi Chris,

I am actually a reaccuring fan of yours. 6 months back I did the NC rule… it worked, to the point of where I had my ex begging for me back at my door step… it was great for a couple of months, but then he pulled the same stuff again, however, I didnt do the full 30 day NC… but what am i supposed to do when he is at your door in the middle of the night begging for me back? Anyways… that is not why i am here. Again i am in the same situation I was 6 months ago… I feel as if when my ex has tragic life events happen in his life (parents divorced, remarried, his sister has brain cancer), he can take all of his emotions and anger out on our relationship and end it with me for no reason (I have been with him for 7 years.)I know first hand that people hurt the ones they love the most. Anyways, I am starting to think he is using reverse psychology on me. Last time we broke up he got in contact with one of my little sisters friends on fb bi accidentally sending it to her saying stuff that he knows will get back to me and get me mad enough to text or call him, since he is too coward to inituate the conversation. He puts up crazy fb status’s saying “clearing my head” and all this stuff that makes no sense. He sent another message to my other sisters family friend bi accident the other night saying “hopefully you made it home safe, didnt hear from you… you left crying, didnt even get to kiss you… you can tell me anything”… then said OOPS SORRY WRONG PERSON. Is he doing this intentionally to get me mad enough to run back to him… is that what he wants… what do you think about reverse psychology…? And what should I do if there really is another girl in the picture… we broke up over a week ago… and i have been using the NC rule…

admin

February 21, 2014 at 6:29 pm

Reoccuring Fan!!!

Your my favorite!

Is there another girl in the picture or is this hypothetical?
Amber

February 21, 2014 at 7:30 pm

when we where together there was no signs of any other girls… but the minute we broke up (a week ago) he is writing girls that i personally know like family friends, things like lets hangout… and then that message he sent “biaccidentally” to my family friend. I think he thinks replacing me will fix him. I feel like all the negative things happening in his life he is taking it out on our relationship and thats why he said he isnt happy with me… but truthfully he has no car no job… and also like i said his parents divorce and his sister having brain cancer is making things worse i think. remember he did come back, i mean BEGGED FOR ME BACK last time… do you think this will happen again?
Amber

February 21, 2014 at 7:33 pm

And no there is no specific other girl in the picture that i know of… i just know he has reached out to other girls…
Amber

February 21, 2014 at 8:18 pm

but i do know he has gone to strip clubs. lol
admin

February 22, 2014 at 6:34 pm

Well, thats kind of lame on his part.

steph

February 21, 2014 at 5:43 am

Hello. I am totally new to this site. Idk what to think about my break up bc well all the ppl I talk to is females. My ex and I were friends about 2 an a half years before we started dating. We had dated for a little over two years. This guy came into the picture and wanted me and broke my ex and I up. My ex supposedly made a meetme account to check up on me after the break up and I had tried to talk to him but he always flip flopped his emotions. He would say move on then idk then yeah we should be friends. Then back to move on and then saying i do love you and you but i cant be with you right now. After about two three weeks of our break up he had told me he was happy in is relationship and that rather really hurt. And he then blocked me on fb and on his cell. My friends are split on what they think it all means. Any advice on what to do? Please and thank you.

admin

February 21, 2014 at 6:24 pm

Hold on here…

Why would you even let this guy into the picture? Why would you let him break the two of you up?

Tiffany

February 20, 2014 at 12:42 pm

Hi Chris.
My ex and I broke up recently.We have been together for 3 years.He said that he will not bother about me anymore on that day we broke up.But…after the day we broke up,he passed by my class and he looked worried.Trying to find me.Chris,when he said he doesn’t care about me anymore..does he meant it? And today,I was chatting my guy friend with another girl.I asked my guy friend something in Chinese cuz we’re chinese and my ex …he’s indian.He doesnt really understand Chinese.When I asked my guy friend using Chinese,my ex answered it! I was not even asking him.What is he trying to do? And my girl friend and I were chatting with another guy.A junior.I saw my ex looking unhappy. It was like..he was jealous! Why should he be jealous when he ‘doesnt care’ about me anymore? My friend said that he looked quite unhappy too. And just now..I was chatting with him on FB .I asked him about stuffs that hv been in my mind for the past few days.He said he fell out of love since last yr January.He pretended to love me for a year! I was so hurt.So hurt. After 3 questions,he told me ‘can you pls stop asking questions?’ And I replied ‘hey..i just wanna know answers.’ I thought he was mad.He replied ‘but theres too many questions….’ I dont know why Chris,I feel that he felt scared to make me angry.And I just asked him 3 questions and he said its too many.Is it? I saw him looking at me at school..what is trying to do? Does he still loves me? He said that he will not accept me back anymore.Do you think what he said..is true? Please help me Chris.I just…want him back.And with all these strange things that he did..I dont know whether he still loves me or not.I dont dare to put my hope too high,Chris.I dont dare.
kate

February 19, 2014 at 10:07 pm

chris,
my ex bf and i broke up almost 1.5 years ago bc i found out he went to play golf with an ex gf when we were going through a rocky period. when i asked him about it, he lied. we worked together. his company. i packed up and left immediately. NC for 9 months. he did reach out to me during that time but i kindly replied stating i was busy etc. he is the only guy i let around my 4 yrs daughter. he would send text messages asking how my daughter and i were during thanksgiving/christmas. i was friendly but just the last couple months i started to miss him as he has tapered off the calls/texts. we have spoken and spent some time together playing golf but i can’t read him. does he want to get back together or just friends?? what should i do? keep busy? what the heck is he thinking? LOL thanks for your time and i love reading your articles!

admin

February 20, 2014 at 7:39 pm

WAit, are you wondering if he just wants to be fwb?
kate

February 20, 2014 at 9:49 pm

No. He knows I am not going to be friends with benefits. I said I sent him a FR (friend request) on FB (Facebook). I just need your (guy) assessment of the situation. My question is, is he interested in getting back together or does he just want to remain friends? He chased me for so long after our breakup and at the time I was uninterested in getting back bc i was still upset but now i miss him and want him back. Help.
kate

February 19, 2014 at 10:13 pm

Oh i forgot to ask, i sent him a FR on fb and he has not responded. we were friends previously but i deleted him after the breakup. is he not responding due to a bruised ego? maybe just sorting out feelings? just odd how he was so responsive after the first time we started speaking again after the 9 months NC but now seem distant. could there be someone else and i should back off?

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