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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Sapfo
April 8, 2018 at 1:30 am
Hello, Chris, Jennifer and every other member of the EBR team! I found this site randomly and I just followed all your articles on becoming UG, even though I was still in a relationship, but it made me feel very confident. Anyway, me and my boyfriend of almost 1 year broke up a week ago. He’s 24, I’m 22. He’s in another country for 1 month doing business, so that works in my favour while doing NC (I started immediately after we broke up). I had a jealousy strike and broke up with him before he left, then we discussed it and said we would try, then he started getting jealous as well and we got into a fight and he called it off. It has happened before, but after 4 days he came back crawling so it wasn’t really a breakup I guess. This time I’m more worried because he said that we don’t make each other happy anymore, that we should see how it is being apart and if I need anything he’s there. I told him I love him but that I do not wish us to be talking. I deleted all of our pictures and changed my relationship status to single, when his is still “in a relationship” and all our pictures are there as well. I’m finding out he’s drinking all night, that he has no friends over there because everyone thinks he’s weird and that he wants to come back here and leave this place, generally he’s having a pretty bad time and his friends are not helping. I know I’m the only one who could help but I’m sworn in NC at this point, so nothing I can do. He’s a very complicated person and this was his first time having a truly meaningful relationship so I know I set the standard high, as he did for me, even though we’ve both been in relationships before. We just had a super understanding to each other and that’s what I can think I can use in my advantage. NC ends a few days after he arrives back, and we were planning to go on a concert of his favourite singer on 12 May (NC ends 30 April). I have the tickets, so what am I going to do? If the texting phase is going well and he seems to want me back, do I suggest we go together? I know he won’t miss it for anything but I don’t want to break NC and I don’t know if/how should I bring it back. Also, what do you think my chances are? The quiz said 43%. What scares me the most is that he won’t get back with me again because of some “I need to work on myself, so I can’t be in a relationship right now” kind of thing, in which case I have no idea what to do. I’m currently travelling and doing a lot of things, I even made new friends so I’m pretty sure I’ll be completing NC succesfully. I’m really sorry for all the details, I just know that the more you have, the more you can work with.
Thank you SO MUCH and keep up the great work!!
Jennifer Seiter
April 8, 2018 at 2:15 am
Thanks for following our site! I think you have a very good shot at getting him back. Your situation is unique and since you’ve gotten back together before I think you will be able to again. Your challenge will be keeping him and overcoming the jealously on both ends.
Sapfo Spyridakos
April 14, 2018 at 11:01 am
Hi, Jennifer, Chris and team! Everything was going fine, I’m still in NC and it seemed like he missed me but last night I went out with some guys he didn’t know and they uploaded a picture. He saw it and deleted me and my best friend from Facebook. Do you think I lost my chances? Should I give up?
Jennifer Seiter
April 14, 2018 at 1:40 pm
No I don’t think you lost your chances at all! He’s showing emotion which means he still cares and that’s great. How many days do you have left of no contact?
Sapfo Spyridakos
April 14, 2018 at 1:43 pm
My first text is supposed to be on 30th April, so about 2 weeks. He also deleted 2 of our pictures (there are still some left) and got off the “in a relationship” status. He’s saying things like “I’m better now that we broke up” which he didn’t before (to his friends, not me). The thing about the emotion is what I thought too because I’d do the same but I’m actually worried that he’s going to get over it and is starting to being better. Thank you for all your help either way, you are amazing!
Chris Seiter
April 14, 2018 at 2:49 pm
Hi Sapfo….hope you don’t mind me jumping in her. Just stick to your plan and remember, however this turns out, you are going to be fine. And if you needs some help on the emotional support side, consider our Private Facebook Group which you can learn more about at the website Menu/Products link!
Sapfo
April 19, 2018 at 1:52 pm
Hello, Chris, Jennifer and everyone else on the team! So, I’m almost finishing NC (in a week). I’m improving me, I’m not worrying constantly about my ex, and I feel ready for the texting phase. But I had one question: I fall under the insecure category (I read your article about that), and I was wondering: should I skip the memory texts on days 5 & 6 and replace them with something else? Will I come off as clingy or should casually and with confidence send them? (if everything goes well and we get there in the first place)
Thank you for all the amazing work you do, you are the best out there!
Peace & love
Chris Seiter
April 19, 2018 at 3:03 pm
Good job Sapfo. You are making some great progress. The ex recovery process is very much about YOUR recovery because you have to walk into all the tomorrows wither with or without your ex and either way, you can be happy. Yes, if you feel more comfortable with replacing the memory texts with another form of text, by all means do that. Remember, these recommended texts are subject to modification depending on the situation and everyone’s situation is unique. And by the way Sapfo, if you feel you will benefit from some additional support, look into my Private Facebook Group which has about 1400 women now who support each other and and I do Facebook lives weekly with the group. (website Menu/Products link).
Sapfo Spyridakos
April 19, 2018 at 3:26 pm
I remember there was an “offer”, that you could get the book and also be in the Facebook group? I don’t remember exactly where I saw it or if it was limited time, am I mistaken? And which book was it, texting bible or ebr pro?
Thank you again!
Chris Seiter
April 19, 2018 at 10:58 pm
Hi there Sapfo! That offer still exists for those who participate in my “On Demand Webinar” which you can get a lot out of. You can register for the Webinar at your convenience on my website. The offer is for EBR Pro Premium Bundled Package which includes several other ebooks and the Private Facebook Group (which has about 1400 member right now) is included for free.
Keep me in the loop and let me know how things turn out for you Sapfo!
Sapfo Spyridakos
April 30, 2018 at 10:33 am
Hey, guys!! I just wanted to keep you updated because you’ve helped me so much and I feel like I owe it to you. So,my ex has fallen in love with another girl, and upon hearing that, I actually realised that me going back into a relationship with him wouldn’t accomplish anything, he never wanted to change, and that I was probably having feelings from when things were still good. So I completed the NC but on the day I was supposed to send the text, I realised I wasn’t excited or that much into it.So, I wouldn’t know if the method would work because I decided I feel more powerful moving on and doing something better with my life, but I want you to know that your help was more than I could imagine. Keep up the good work for all the girls out there! And girls, if you read this comment, it takes some perspective, but look clearly if your ex is the right guy for you, because you can be Ungettable and have better options !!
Thank you always
Chris Seiter
April 30, 2018 at 2:31 pm
Hi Sapfo….that happens with lots of people. As they get further removed from the pressing emotions of wanting their ex back and work on improving themselves, they realize what they want back is not so much their ex, but other things. I am proud of you Sapfo for seeing the bigger picture.
Linda
April 5, 2018 at 1:53 pm
He broke up with me aroudn 4 months ago, said he doesn’t see any future for us together. We’ve been on-and-off talking, initially he was initiating most of the contact… And then he started delaynig replies, he would reply 3 day later, week later, two weeks – each time still asking questions to keep the conversation going. I seriously don’t know what to think lol. During the time he would delay replies I finally decided to do no contact – 3 weeks. Too short?? Then I finally replied to his message and he took again a few days to reply. In last one he ended up sending me a selfie of him, and casually mention he would hope to see me while I’m around. I’m super confused!!!! I replied after a few hours but he’s probably going to take another few days to get back to me anyway lol I dont know what to do, if i hsould to another longer no contact?
Chris Seiter
April 6, 2018 at 12:03 am
I’d love to see these conversations…. Because they sound kind of bland to me. My guess is that not enough excitement was built? Is that a fair assessment?
Linda
April 7, 2018 at 8:35 am
Well, I definitely dont feel comfortable putting them here.
Hm, I guess so! I guess for me at least it’s hard to work on building that excitement when the other side seems so… unresponsive in general. Is there something you would suggest? Give it a break for some time? Continue, but trying to work on more excitement?
Chris Seiter
April 7, 2018 at 9:37 pm
So, one of the biggest issues I see women having across the board is the fact that they tend to not realize that men have egos the size of the sun. This means that the second the conversation turns away from us we can get bored. So, try to keep the conversation all about things he’s interested in at first.
Linda
April 9, 2018 at 12:47 pm
Thank you! I’ll try to do that!
Genevieve
April 5, 2018 at 4:26 am
I’m in a bit of a confusing situation. I’m in the texting phase with my ex of 5 months, and when we first started talking again his texts were positive. He wanted to know how I was doing,and was responding right away. After that day, his responses became neutral (1-2 worded texts) and he would take ages to respond. I waited 5 days to text him again. Now I got him to respond positively lately, but he still takes a long time to answer. We use Facebook Messenger, and I know one of his pet peeves is when somebody doesn’t respond soon enough. He hates that kind of thing, so he is usually quick to respond to texts. But for me now, he waits at least 30 minutes to hours, sometimes even overnight! His texts are positive and seems interested in the topics (I use his interests), but I can see that he gets on Messenger and doesn’t read my messages until later. He did once read one right away, then waited 3 hours to answer. I feel that he is doing this on purpose, and I can’t do the “abruptly ending the conversation” method because of this.
What do you think he is doing, and how do I go about this?
Chris Seiter
April 5, 2018 at 11:50 pm
One way to solve this problem is to actually talk to him on the phone where he can’t run away haha
Genevieve
April 8, 2018 at 6:34 pm
Unfortunately that didn’t work either. He is uncomfortable with phone conversations, and never typically answers them. Should I give it several days to contact him again? I think I may have to change the topics of interest… I guess you can say he is a narcissist as he is extremely intelligent and works out a lot to maintain his buff figure. He always used to ask me every time I would see him, “Babe! Did I get bigger?” I always found that adorable, but it also seems to be a very insecure part of him as he used to be skinny and lanky.
Another insecurity of his was his career, as he changed his career paths 3 times in a panic during college. He thought I wasn’t supportive of his new choice of business career, or that I didn’t care that much which was why he dumped me. That wasn’t true, I was just worried about him running away from another dream of his, but he took it the wrong way and broke up with me in a hurry.
Should I use body building and business as my new topics? Even though they are the sources of his insecurities?
Chris Seiter
April 11, 2018 at 1:51 am
Guys like compliments, so yes, if you connect it with a compliment.
Sylvie
April 4, 2018 at 4:47 am
Hey Chris,
What if my ex and I haven’t talked for 4 months ( i’ve done complete no contact on him), and I’m not seeing any of these 7 signs from him, is all hope lost?
As mentioned I’ve completely cut off contact with him about 4 months now, but he does like or react to things I post on facebook. I have posted photos of hobbies here and there, but my social media game is still very weak – i dont post often enough and not enough photos of myself.
I need a game plan. Should I continue no contact and post more on social media or should i contact him now? I dont want to bruise my ego/look weak by having to be the one who initiaties contact first.
What’s your opinion?
Chris Seiter
April 5, 2018 at 10:53 pm
Not necessarily, these 7 signs are pretty darn comprehensive but that’s assuming that you pulling the right levers to get them there.
I also think you might have to get over the hang up about reaching out first. Remember, what matters more is who ends the conversation now who starts it.
Rochelle
April 3, 2018 at 11:59 pm
Hi there! The NC works. 3 weeks of no contact with my ex since March 7, 2018. He first texted me with hi how are you, take the best of care, drive safely, he missed me. Do not be afraid to do this. It works and now we are back together.
Chris Seiter
April 4, 2018 at 12:33 am
I’ve been telling people this for YEARS!!!! Hahah I am so happy for you would you like to be featured on our podcast?
Megan Sharp
April 3, 2018 at 11:01 pm
My husband and I separated around 3 months ago. Been together for 10yrs, maffieed for 7. We have 3 kids together. You had moved onto someone else even got her name tattooed on himself. (He has my name too but took 5yrs together for him to get it. He had only been with her a few weeks)
He has slept over, he has been the one ask if it’s ok and we have had sex together at least one week since we split. He has done the mood swings. One minute he is flirty with me, he is laughing with me then with a flick of the switch I’m his punching bag. He has done the jealousy thing when he knows I have been talking to other guys (I stupid have left my phone lying around so he can see who texted on my lock screen) he will text me randomly or ring to see how the kids are. Some text messages he sends has a ‘x’ at the end of it.
He tell me to move on but I vowed to myself that until I have divorce papers in my hands I won’t. Yes I’m “single” but I still have my vowels and if I moved on, to me it would be as if I am cheating on my husband.
I have known this man for 10yrs and I know how he acts and what he does, but he has also changed as person. He’s not the man I fell in love with but there is something there when I see him that I can’t let go of. I can be so angry with him almostto the point of hating him but as soon I see him I get instant butterflies.
He is stubborn and can never give me a straight answer to the questions that I have for him.
Am I going down a road that will end in heartbreak if I keep hanging onto?? Or should I just count my loses and move on??
Chris Seiter
April 4, 2018 at 12:49 am
Hey Megan,
Man you are in a tough situation. Sorry that this is happening to you.
My mindset is always to do everything you can before giving up on a situation. Wht have we tried so far?
Megan Sharp
April 4, 2018 at 1:16 am
I have changed a lot about myself, the things he told me that made him walk out. I did the no contact…it was really working. He would text me out of the blue and it would start a general conversation. But I got sucked into quickly and that rule went out the window. I am making my plans for the future and trying to move on but then something holds me back. I still have my plans but I think I imagine them without him and it just gets me down.
He sends me mixed signals all the time. He gets close, like he wants to come home or gets old feelings back, then pulls away. I know this because he does this to his birth Mum (his Nanna raised him, who he calls his Mum)
Anybody that knows him, knows he is acting so out of character that no body knows who he is anymore. Not even me.
Chris Seiter
April 5, 2018 at 10:41 pm
One thing that you might benefit from is my research on the 11 levers of love. Basically it’s everything that you are supposed to do to make someone fall in love with you. If you’d like I might be able to attach a document for you to read in the comments. Let me know if you are interested.
Samiya
March 16, 2018 at 9:12 pm
I’m just tooo shattered I had breakup 5 days ago its because I talk to soo rudely with my bf I hurt him he said me we are but I know he was angry where ever I msg him he block me from every where than today I got request from his friend like on Instagram I didn’t acclt it than I saw we chat he put privacy like I’m unable too see his pictures I want him back pls help
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2018 at 4:43 pm
Hi Samiya,
How many times have you broken up?
Galu
March 13, 2018 at 10:23 am
We dated for 9 mnths, were even thinking about marriage.. but I hurt him subconsciously by taking too long to say yes, and asking him repeatedly about his finances and gradually he started withdrawing. And sensing that I started fighting. He then said that he needs to step back, needs space.he started talking bare minimum but had sex with me a few times. After a month he said he loves me but cant see a future due to my temper tantrums. He said he will b in my life, he shall call, meet and talk to me, but we both are not suitable for each other in the long run. He still cares about me. After he said this I fought a lot, and now aftef 20 days I hav started the no contact rule saying I need to think. He says he appreciates it.
Mitali
February 26, 2018 at 11:35 am
Can it happen that maybe while you are thinking so much about how to get him back and have already started doing the nc. And he even reaches out within a week but then goes silent and you suddenly notice him posting a lot or trying to get u jealous or catch your attention. I’m just curious that maybe while you’re following tricks to get him back. What if he’s doing same for u and you both get disappointed as both of you are doing nc and no one would reach out first? What are your views on it. I know this is a pretty weird and absurd question still. Please share your views.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 27, 2018 at 2:24 pm
Hi Mitali,
if he’s doing nc, that means he’s trying to get you back but I think you meant, that he’s just trying to make you jealous.. Yes, that happens.
Lucy
February 25, 2018 at 1:44 pm
Hi, my ex is so on and off constantly. He breaks up with me, then for one reason or another I end up contacting him (when I’m upset, and/or drunk). We then carry on contact and then he begs for my forgiveness. Says he’s going to be better for me treat me right etc, talking about marriage and the future! We then have an argument he ignores me, shuts off and ends things again. For the first time when he did this I just basically said “right okay” and left it instead of begging. I saw him on a night out and he was claiming I am a horrible negative person and I’ve turned him into a bad person. He also denied that we had been seeing each other again and has made me feel like I’m going insane. He acts like he hates my like absolutely despises me and I can’t figure out why. He’s also blocked me off everything and says he doesn’t ever want to talk to me again. I haven’t been contacting him at all, but feel like that is not working as I feel like he just hates me and has so much anger. Even though 8 days ago he was talking about weddings/ wanting to spend time with me/ he loves me etc. I’m not sure how to take all this, could really do with some advice.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 27, 2018 at 12:30 pm
Hi Lucy,
check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back
SV
February 25, 2018 at 11:42 am
Hey guys,
A little background, after 1.5 years my ex broke up with me. Things went pretty bad the last two months and he said he dont see it going anywhere. We were in ldr and we commute between continents. So our last days I went to him, and he was insanely angry over everything.
Main anger was my ex before him and the rest are build ups i guess.
He said he still wants to talk to me but he needs time, I took the opportunity to do NC, and was working on myself. I was pretty suprised with myself, I mean I grieve but it wasnt as bad as breakups before, I guess I really love him and I want to be a better version of myself.
Slightly more than a month I remember contemplating on breaking the NC but was bit nervous about what to say – till I accidentally slipped and sent him a cow emoji (also a inside joke about how Im always hungry) and he surprisingly replies. Since then I decided to build rapport via text – except he takes forever to reply, but he still replies.
I guess untill last week (its been almost 3 months since the breakup now) where I wasnt sure if he was going to reply or not. His pace are a couple of days. I read somewhere that he’s probably on reactance and its probably best to address the elephant in thw room. So i sent him a text saying i understand why he left, that im sorry and im not pressuring him to do anything. He replies almost immidiately saying he’s still furious and he underestimated himself, and he is furious of the idea of talking to me and he thinks itll take a long time.
Does this fall into the anger category that he cares too much hence he’s furious? Do I still have a chance? Any advice on where to go from here?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 27, 2018 at 9:35 am
if he’s still angry, apologize and then stop initiating. Either do last nc, or set a limit on until when you would wait for him initiate to start building rapport again.
Charlotte
February 17, 2018 at 3:17 pm
My partner of 12 and a half years left on New Years Day telling me that he doesn’t want me anymore, that there’s nothing there and that he can’t be bothered to try work things out with me. For the first two weeks he was back and forth, wanted to work things out, then he didn’t, then he did but then he said he “wouldn’t let it work”.
He cried his heart out when he packed all of his belongings two weeks later and apologised – he told me he isn’t sure if it’s the right thing but thinks it is in the long run. I could see he was forcing himself to go.
He would text me and call me sometimes still to say night or ask how I’m doing and would text my daughter who he brought up if I didn’t text him back straight away.
He’s been out drinking every single night since he left and his friends are telling him the grass is greener on the other side.
I’m really worried about him.
I saw him a couple of weeks ago for the first time in three weeks and he was really tearful and tried to kiss me. Told me he wanted to take me upstairs but that it would “mess with his head.” He went to kiss me again, so passionately and we ended up upstairs.
I then saw him again this last week and he was crying at one point saying he did love me and he still does and almost admitted that he regrets leaving but then completely flipped and told me everything that was wrong with me, that he doesn’t love me and it’s all my fault anyway, if I’d just done everything he asked. I did everything for this guy and I do mean everything. I stopped giving him sex as much as he would come home from work and just ignore me, be on his phone all night, like I was invisible. All I asked for was his time and attention and I never got it. I did everything else for him. He said last week that he knows it would be easier for him to come home as he had his arse wiped for him and just expected it but doesn’t know why.
He left because he said he is bored and unhappy with his whole life and it’s my fault. He’s been out every single day with his only single friend drinking, and said he is still bored and unhappy but no unhappier than before. He said he feels really unsettled and doesn’t like not having structure or routine. He misses being with me and just sitting with me and cuddling me.
People are telling me he’s out trying to get other women but he gets so upset when he finds out about this and tells me I should know him better than that after all this time. I think he’s telling the truth but know his friends are pressuring him to go out there and meet new women.
I’m so, so, so confused. I know he is too but I said to him that I know no matter how much he loves and misses me, he will never come back as he has too much face to lose with his friends now.
Please help. Any advice would be so very much appreciated right now.
Thank you 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 20, 2018 at 11:43 am
Hi Charlotte,
Do you want to try the nc rule?
Lyree
February 13, 2018 at 6:59 pm
Boyfriend of 7 years broke up with me a few months ago. The last month together he was acting like a total stranger. We never really fought, had good communication, until our last month together. We have seen each other a few times since and everytime I see him he seems like he has moved on and is emotionless towards me. He has told me that I am a great, unique person, and that he wont be able to find anyone like me again but he doesnt want to be in the relationship and that I should move on. I am working on myself but I dont know if I should let him go ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 18, 2018 at 11:26 am
Hi Lyree,
It looks like he has moved on.. If you want, you can try this one:
The Best Way To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Interested In You Again
Vero
February 9, 2018 at 4:24 pm
Hey, my boyfriend and me broke up last year on Christmas. I made very little mistakes and I initiated NC on the 31 December. He told me he lost feelings but didn’t know why…but I was so important to him, he made a request to stay friends, which I refused. We go to school together and are sitting together 3 times a week. He never initiated contact but rather starts talking to me, when I talk to my friends. So, he interferes in my conversations most of the times, when he is nearby. But I told him, as I initiated NC, that I want no contact and I need time for myself. So, maybe he tries not to initiate contact but tries to talk to me by interfering. Maybe he fears to be rejected? Once, so seemed to be upset and he was jealous, you could tell by his look, because I was driving someone else home. But most of the time, he is friendly. I am afraid, that he only wants me as a friend and I am afraid to be put into the friend zone… I am very cold to him during the NC, by the way. Since the 31 December, he never texted me but as I said, since school started, he interferes in my conversations.
What would you say?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 12, 2018 at 11:40 pm
Hi Vero,
Approach nc like this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex
April
February 6, 2018 at 7:10 pm
Hi, a week ago my boyfriend of about 5 months broke up with me because he found out about an indiscretion that I had had early on in the relationship. I feel truly and utterly terrible about what I did, and as much as I’ve apologized I know he isn’t really buying my apologies. I knew that he had had a bad experience with multiple girls in the past cheating on him, but I truly didn’t believe that the relationship was anything serious at first (this had happened in the first few weeks of us dating). He says that the relationship was established by that point, but he and I had never ever had a conversation about it. I’d also like to point out that during the entire 5 month relationship he and I had only had sex maybe twice, with him having “troubles” any of the other times we attempted intercourse. This coupled with the fact that at the beginning I wasn’t sure where the relationship was, I had made my mistake. Again, I reiterated the fact that I feel terrible and would never never do that again.
At first he was furious. Told me how much I had betrayed him and just generally slinging insults at me and making me feel bad about what I had done (months prior). He had also gone onto my facebook account (which i foolishly left logged in on his computer) and read all my messages. A couple of threads made him angry as I had discussed a lot of my relationship problems with my friend and he felt that we were making fun of him and talking inappropriately. I explained that at the time, I was feeling lousy and my friend (a natural jokester) would say something funny (albeit mean spirited) just to try to make me feel better. Of course, that doesn’t excuse any of what was said, but the context was different than what he read into.
After a few days he calmed down and started talking to me like a human being again, apologized for being a dick, told me he missed me and “us,” and then immediately segued into sending my dirty pictures, sending me dirty texts, etc. I played along. Now he is telling me that he wants to maintain a physical relationship, but he isn’t sure about anything relating to an actual relationship. Today he told me about a new promotion he just got at his job that he had been trying for really hard. I told him I was proud. We are supposed to meet and talk sometime this week.
My question is: do you think I have a chance at getting him back? Or is he just biding him time until he finds someone new or when he’s feeling better about himself?
Thanks,
April
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2018 at 12:27 pm
Hi April,
looks like he wants to be friends with benefits with you.. have you take our quiz?
Nikki
January 21, 2018 at 4:15 am
I broke up with my boyfriend due to things I was overthinking and because I felt our relationship wasn’t growing and I immediately regretted it. I texted him in the next two days saying that I did feel like that but I felt bad for not talking to him about the issues I was keeping bottled up and I would give him another chance and he said what I said was right and that we should find relationships where we can grow. He unfollowed me on everything a couple weeks in and now I want to get back with him. He’s a very low key person and never expresses what he is feeling, for example before we got together, I was extremely confused if he liked me or not bc he shuts off his emotions so he acts like he’s always ok and manly. But when we were in the relationship, he was actually extremely sweet. I can’t tell if he’s hiding his emotions again, like rejecting our relationship 2 days after- although that could just be his pride kicking in, and he liked my instagram photo before unfollowing me, and when I asked to talk to him while returning his stuff he seemed like his normal self (acting happy) and confirmed that we were friends after asking him. What do I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 21, 2018 at 3:26 pm
Hi Nikki,
Take back being friends.. Tell him being friends is not workable right now then thank him for everything..and then start the nc rule..
Imogen
January 14, 2018 at 9:24 pm
Hi, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me at the end of November with distance being an issue in our relationship. He was never ok with being long distance and always hated when we were apart, so I knew after living together for a year, being apart suddenly would be very difficult for us to cope with. When we met to break up he was absolutely devastated and crying and kept saying how he wanted me in his life and wanted to be friends with me and he sent me a text afterwards saying he’d always care a lot about me and always be there for me. Whilst we were together he was always very much more in love with me and needy in the relationship than I was. I’m not very open with my feelings due to the fear of getting hurt and I didn’t feel the need to publicise our relationship all over social media. 5 weeks after we broke up he met a girl and started seeing her straight away, she then flew back to Australia after they’d known each other for 2 weeks, but they’re already posting couple pictures and stuff on Instagram and constantly tagging each other in stuff on facebook. Since hes met her hes been a completely different person towards me, he’s been rude, telling me he doesnt want a friendship with me anymore hes moved on so I need to get a grip and get over it, and that he cares more about her than he does about me. Its hurting me that he could move on so quickly with someone he doesn’t even know and say all these things to me when he doesn’t even know this girl. He told me he had a great 2 years with me, and the person I know was so deeply in love with me I just can’t fathom how hes moved on so quickly. The person I knew would never hurt me like this, hes changed so much since hes met her and I feel like our whole relationship was a lie now after him telling me he doesn’t like being single. I just need advice as to whether you think he has truly moved on or do you think hes just convinced himself he has and using this new person, who is nothing like me in terms of expressing feelings as she is much more like him, to distract himself from our break up?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 14, 2018 at 10:50 pm
Hi Imogen,
she could be a rebound but check this one:
EBR 015: How To Get A Long Distance Boyfriend Back If He Has A New Girlfriend
Jamielee sweeney
January 13, 2018 at 9:33 pm
Help, my boyfriend ended the relationship on Thursday night after a stupid argument over Ikea and me not dropping the argument. We just celebrated out one year anniversary of being together at the weekend and we where planning a holiday at the start of the week. After our argument he left the house and didn’t speak to me all Thursdays and then text on Thursday night saying it was over. I woke up on Friday morning to his fb pictures being deleted, unfrieneded on fb and all my family unfriended and tonight he’s posted a status about snap chat inviting people to add him… I’m confused I understand I he’s falling out of love with me – but why the bitterness and nasty ness plus making the break up so public so quickly please can I have you’re advice !
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 15, 2018 at 12:10 pm
Hi Jamieless, .
either he’s just acting out of emotion or he’s using what happened as an excuse for breaking up with you.
Heather
January 4, 2018 at 8:36 pm
My ex fiancé and I a month ago he never really broke up with me. I the reason behind the so called break up and he is blaming me because I lied about my friend who I dated in the past was having issues with his current ex. Which I was mutual friends with both of them. Not even a day after I leave he started a relationship with our roommate and my best friend girlfriend. She not a good person and she lies to him a lot. They moved into a separate place. And I tried begging him for him to come back. I love him with all my heart. But the night he left they slept together and he keeps denying he cheated on me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 6, 2018 at 12:17 am
Hi Heather,
do you want to try the no contact rule?
Lizbet
January 1, 2018 at 6:17 pm
My boyfriend and I had become platonic friends the last year or so of a 10.5 year relationship. He kept calling me his girlfriend and signing his emails ” I love you” etc although I did not return that sentiment; I didn’t want to lead him on. He started seeing someone and did not tell me about it. She stopped seeing him because he kept on talking about me. Finally he called me, told me about her, and wanted me to call her to tell her what a great loyal guy he was and that he loved her!. I got upset, not that he had a girlfriend, but he lied to me about it and tried to manipulate me into helping him with her. So we ended our friendship on a not great note. I did correspond with his new girlfriend, she seemed really nice.
Fast forward about 6 months and he has contacted me to meet and talk. I observed the NC rule for a couple of months then sent him a couple of pretty angry emails. I cooled off, left a telephone message that I wished them both well. Apparently they have broken up and here he is. He implies that I was the one that drove us apart, and that if I feel I must talk to him here is my chance.
I am really surprised that I am still angry, and want to tell him to go to hell to his face. I’ve lost 25 lbs, continued all my regular activities, and feel strong and good. I am unsure what to do. What I don’t want is him back the way we were. I should walk away??
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 4, 2018 at 7:43 pm
Hi Lizbet,
Did you mean you want him to change? And if he does, you’ll get back with him? If yes, start slowly rebuilding rapport so that you’ll know if he changed or not