18 Proven Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back (Based On Research)

1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”

Niki

September 24, 2013 at 6:37 pm

It’s been a month and 3 weeks me and my ex boyfriend have been broken up. Our brake up was pretty bad. Yelling and fighting ( mostly me) he made me brake up with him.. I’ve been doing the NC rule since day one. I haven’t heard anything from him..no text no calls..nothing. We both go to the same gym and I see him and he sees me but we don’t talk to each other at all. He stares but I try to look away and not give him attention. Is this considered NC rule? By him seeing me at the gym is a good idea or not? Would he come back if he still sees me at the gym?

What do you think?

admin

September 25, 2013 at 1:13 am

Read here for NC: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-no-contact-rule/

nani

September 23, 2013 at 5:13 pm

hello chris and thanks for the reply..um what i have in mind instead of me always replying to his texts whenever he texts me im just going to ignore him.. the thing is chris i stand always by im always waiting.. his whole routine is getting old and at the same time its hurting me.. so the best thing that i should do is ignore him and see how he likes it

admin

September 24, 2013 at 2:51 am

Yes, ignore him I like that.

I talk about this specifically in my E-Book.

Carrie

September 23, 2013 at 4:19 pm

Hi Chris, stumbled upon this website in the midst of recent events.

I had been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years when he broke up with me, seemingly out of the blue in 2011. We did have a lot of issues – fighting and all and not being able to discuss things in a civil manner, not talking about the future, etc. As devastating as the break was, I learned a lot about being independent and healing on my own in that time. He quickly dated someone else, which ended up not working out. We got back together about 8 months after. I felt strange as I’d been “on my own” for the first time in a while. But, I was happy to be with him again but felt cautious as I’d been hurt before. We stayed together about another year when I started to feel confused and stressed. I was in the middle of applying to grad school, moving home so I could attend grad school and quit my job, going through a family crisis with my sister’s divorce, to name a few. I felt that I was in a hectic state and that our relationship had been so stagnant in the last year – not advancing to marriage or living together or discussing it still, that I felt the need to be on my own and sort out these stressors. When I broached the subject, he finally confessed his desire to marry me, to be financially stable so we could live together – things I wanted to hear years ago, coming too late, it seemed. I still opted to end the relationship as I felt completely overwhelmed at that point.

It’s been 2 months now and I’ve regretted it. I contacted him last week after the 7 weeks of NC. He thought I was contacting him because it didn’t work out with someone else – and there never was anyone else, I assured him. That hurt to hear. We didn’t catch up much – he asked me to come over but I thought he’d been drinking, which would be a mistake, and it was 2 am so I said not this time, let’s talk soon, I do miss you and love you and realized being away from you I want to be with you. A couple days later I hadn’t heard from him and asked what was going on. He said “I don’t really know what I want now.”

And that’s been it. I’ve tried to reach out a couple more times to no reply. I know the ball is now in his court but I don’t know if I’ve really ruined things. Now that the dust has settled, I’ve realized I don’t want to be with anyone else, and we have nearly 6 years of history I’m not willing to let go of. The way I see it, he broke up with me two years ago and realized then he wanted to be with me. In that time, I had to accept he didn’t want to be with me. This time, I was the breaker, and made the same realization as him. I feel we both needed the separate breaks to realize what we truly wanted. If I hadn’t left this time, I feel that I would still be confused and overwhelmed.

I can’t imagine being with anyone else, which is exactly the words he’d used referring to me before we split up. I can’t believe in this short time he’s thrown it all away, stopped loving me or thinking of me. I am sure he’s hurt and I wish I could make it better. Do I remain NC for good and wait? Or is there more I could do? I don’t understand what he meant by not knowing what he wants, or if he really didn’t want to get back together, if he’d just tell me that. If it makes any difference, we are both 31, so marrying and having a family are things we both want, and sooner rather than later.

Thanks so much.

admin

September 24, 2013 at 2:44 am

Man, it sounds like me missed out by leaving.

Do you know exactly what caused the breakup?
Carrie

September 24, 2013 at 12:40 pm

I initiated this breakup because I was at a period of “crisis” in my life – feeling overwhelmed by school, family issues, moving, etc. Among all of that, I felt scared when he – for the first time in 6 years – started talking about how he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, wanting a future, etc. Before this, I didn’t think he ever felt that way. It was a lot to take on. When I broke it off, I told him I saw us together, but it was bad timing right then. And I guess I was right about that… I have regretted it so much, and I want him back. It’s been 2 months.
Carrie

September 24, 2013 at 12:43 pm

I guess my biggest question in all of it is… if a guy really wants me gone – wants nothing to do with me – would he tell me to go away? Or just ignore me? Is him saying “I don’t really know what I want right now” just that, he doesn’t know – or does it mean “go away?” I don’t believe he would get over me that quickly, especially after saying he can’t imagine being with another. I know I hurt him and I want to make up for it so much.
admin

September 25, 2013 at 12:54 am

It depends on the guy. Some guys will ignore you completely and some will tell you to go away.

Though I do think that if a guy ignore you for lets say 3 months straight it is worse.

Jennifer

September 21, 2013 at 3:27 am

My ex and I broke up in May. It’s been four months since.
He doesn’t really make an effort to contact me
Or say hi in person but he does stare at me
All the time. He watches my every move.
He knows I love him and he says he does too.
He isn’t expressive about his emotions at all.
Recently, I told him I would forget about him
And he said he wasn’t bothered by my decision
Which I believe is false. The next day, I text him
Telling him I didn’t mean what I said and he
Never replied. Do I still have a chance in getting
Him back?

admin

September 21, 2013 at 11:15 pm

You do if you play your cards right.

Have you already done a NC rule?

nani

September 20, 2013 at 5:47 pm

hey chris,

my ex and i were together for about 8 months we broke up last aug and like a couple of weeks later he has someone else. we talk on and off but he is always the one contacting me even if its 2 months later. we also have a tattoo that we had got together when we were together and he says that that is what is keeping us from always talking to each other again… BUT… i believe that he is talking to other girls and is still with his girl that he calms not to be in love with and that he is only with her because she gives him everything that he wants… i am re doing the whole no contact rule again and this time when he contacts me im just going to straight out ignore him but in your opinion and you being a man and all does this means that he does want to get back togehter or is he just playing games???… i need help chris!! lol thank you and love your website 🙂

admin

September 21, 2013 at 10:50 pm

It is impossible to say. Really, only time has the true answer. With that being said I think that you should redo the NC rule as you were suggesting.

This time what do you plan on doing different though?

Matesha

September 20, 2013 at 9:18 am

Sorry for so many posts from me. Network pretty bad in Africa. 🙂

admin

September 20, 2013 at 9:12 pm

No problem I erased all the duplicates.

Matesha

September 20, 2013 at 9:05 am

Hi Chris.

Am not sure if you can help me out here.
I have been dating a guy for almost a year. I do love him, no doubt. In about four months ago we have been arguing non stop. I began cheating. I was chatting and talking to another man, nothing sexual at all. Not even kissing. But since me and my boyfriend both worked in telecoms he managed to get hold of my communications with this other man. I can not convince him that i did not have sex with this other man but i do agree i have made a terrible mistake. With the texts in hand and the numerous times we have argued, he is not keen on forgiving me unless i tell him the ‘truth’ ( i swear i did not sleep with this man). I love him and i want him back. I have given him his space of course before reading your articles i called and cried and everything bad you can imagine. Am not the type to argue every day and i want to be a better person. I was the happy, funny, caring, hard working lady and now am annoying, constantly picking jealousy fights, crying all the time, etc. HELP!!!

admin

September 20, 2013 at 9:12 pm

Have you grabbed the E-Book yet? That can really help you.

NC is the way to go right now for you I think for sure. What are you doing to evolve?

Lauren

September 19, 2013 at 2:45 am

My boyfriend and I broke up a couple days ago. When he did I cried, asked him to reconsider, told him he was making a mistake…. basically everything you said not to do. Then he sent me a long text explaining himself. He texted me once again and called me the next morning. I answered and he said he wanted to talk later on. I said okay I would let him know. When I texted him that night, he ignored me. Eventually he answered me and told me he couldn’t do it. I said some things out of emotion about how he was cruel and selfish. After calming down I told him I respected his decision and wished him luck. I then implemented the NC rule. In spite of showing emotion, does the NC rule have a chance of working if I stick to it from here on out?

admin

September 19, 2013 at 7:09 pm

I think you should implement it!

Syd

September 16, 2013 at 10:37 pm

Me and my boyfriend just broke up a week ago and have been dating for 11 months we’ve broken up before but got back together after a few months or weeks. He’s always come back to me before except for the last time I was so hurt that I would not stop contacting him and eventually he decided he wanted to be with me again. I just got to college and we both knew it would be hard at first but we got into a couple arguments and he said that he could not trust me that I don’t keep my promises and he then said that it hit him like a train that I’m not gonna be the type of girl he wants to marry but just a week before was telling me how he wanted to marry me and have kids. He said that I’m the kinda girl that expects him to take are of her and to be treated like a princess and its not true he wouldn’t even listen to what I had to say he said my word meant nothing. He said he loves me but it was for the best and he was sticking to it. After that I contacted him again after I had found out something he did the last time we broke up and I said some very mean things I said he was a piece of shit and that I will always be better than him but he has hurt me so many times I love him so much I was so mad. The next day I told him to just say he didnt love me and he said it.. He said he realized it when I said all that stuff to him. He pretty much said he hated me and said he was never gonna come back to me again. But I am his first love and he is mine. What should I do? does he really not love me any more because of what I said out of anger? He is already contacting other girls and flirting

admin

September 17, 2013 at 1:51 am

I think he said it out of anger. If he is talking to other girls it could just be his coping mechanisim.
Syd

September 17, 2013 at 2:51 am

And he said he’s really done this time and it scares me
Syd

September 17, 2013 at 2:50 am

The same night and the day we broke up he told me he loved me I just don’t understand what he’s so afraid of. I love him so much and I do want to work it out but I just don’t know if he will miss me. I refuse to text him right now I’m definitely doing the 30 day no contact
admin

September 18, 2013 at 2:50 am

What do you plan on ding during that 30 days to evolve?
Syd

September 18, 2013 at 5:28 am

I’ve been working out every day and honestly just trying to move on and if I can do that and not want him back I will be perfectly fine with it.
admin

September 19, 2013 at 1:46 am

Wow, I love your attitude!

Tulip

September 16, 2013 at 12:46 pm

Hi Chris

My ex bf and I broke up about 3 months ago, i took your advice and did nc, I then made contact with him via text messaging, always got a positive response, he is in a relationship with someone that works with him, yesterday he sent me a text saying that he is finding out more and more how much of a mistake he made leaving me, he now finds himself in a relationship with someone that he just likes, he has that if he breaks up with her it’s going to complicate his work environment and travelling arrangements as they take use the same transport. He realises that if the way he is feeling now persist that he will have to build up the courage and just break it off with her, he sends me text everyday. He also says that he can’t expect me to wait for him, I dont know what to do, please help.

admin

September 17, 2013 at 1:20 am

When you did NC did you do it for the full month?
Tulip

September 17, 2013 at 8:22 am

Yes I did, I’m just so afraid because he seems so confused, so I dont know if it’s just the fact that she works with him that is holding him back, all the signs of a rebound relationship is there, he started dating her just 2 weeks after we broke up.I really hope he is being completely honest with me, all the things he has been telling me he has been telling his mom as well, myself and his mom was always very close.
Tulip

September 17, 2013 at 2:14 pm

do you think I should stay in contact with him?
admin

September 18, 2013 at 3:07 am

Nope for 30 days I say you do NC.
Tulip

September 16, 2013 at 12:51 pm

We were in a relationship for 4 years. I think his current relationship is rebound.
admin

September 17, 2013 at 1:20 am

If his current relationship is rebound then that is a good sign.

Delilah

September 16, 2013 at 3:38 am

When I mean cold shoulder, I mean he stopped communicating completely, and I can see why after I sent that last email! That is why I am trying the NC. He professed that he was absolutely crazy about me (future plans, etc.), so this coldness all has come as a shock to me though my intuition could tell me that something was bothering him. Still, he at least showed me respect with keeping in contact. Anyway, that’s why I started the NC. Plus I figured I needed a break from the BS. I just planned on us being over, but I read this, so I am hoping we still have a chance. I haven’t met someone that I felt so strongly about like this in years, though he has now truly pissed me off. Shutting down is downright rude! At least tell us something!

admin

September 17, 2013 at 12:46 am

Is Delilah really your name?

I like it hahaha.

Yea, NC is the way to go here. I know when a guy shuts down it really sucks and makes you feel worthless (believe me I know.) But as long as you evolve and improve yourself during NC you are on the right track.

Delilah

September 16, 2013 at 3:32 am

I had a daily summer “love” with someone whom I’ve known for years (though I mostly knew him from afar); however, we didn’t actually get together until this summer for the first time (after his chase), for we had been out of touch with each other. I found out that he had this crush on me all this time. He claimed to be falling for me so hard all summer and yada yada…things seemed like a fairy tale…ALMOST…then I don’t know what happened but he seemed to be standoffish and it bothered me. I now think that maybe I responded as too needy when he did back off some, and it may have hurt my chances. Last week I sent him a text and I never heard back from him. That was a first. Because of that, I sent him a stupid pissed off email this week after that since we had talked everyday for months until now. I know it was a very stupid idea. I did send a very short apology email telling him that I was sorry and didn’t mean it but that I was moving on. He hasn’t communicated that anything was wrong but I am definitely getting the cold shoulder even now. I started NC only a few days ago. Any advice.

admin

September 16, 2013 at 5:37 am

Well, what are you doing to evolve during NC?

Janet

September 11, 2013 at 8:29 am

Not sure what to do now… My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago after 2.5 years together. During that time he was so in love with me that he said I was the first woman he’s ever wanted to marry. I love him, but was just getting over my divorce when we first met and dealing with my ex-husband has been a nightmare and a major source of stress these last couple years since we have a daughter together. My boyfriend has a daughter the same age and our girls have become really close. When he broke up with me he said that he loves me so much, but he can’t risk more heartache because I’ve pushed him away for too long. I’ve been non-committal since I’m scared to get married again. I really do love him though and I realize I made a huge mistake. A week after the break up I did the wrong thing and went to his house and we both cried and I became totally pathetic (begged, pleaded) and he told me it was never going to work. He also told me that night that he had already gone out on a date with someone! I was so upset and sick to my stomach. So then I went no contact for 2 weeks. Just yesterday I took my daughter to open gym at gymnastics and he showed up with his daughter. He knows I go at that time so he could have avoided me by not going. He was really standoffish and cold to me, but super sweet to my daughter. The girls wanted to play after, but he made a big deal of having plans and they had to go and he rushed off barely saying by to me. He later sent me a text thanking me for a bday present I left on his porch before I started NC. I debated about replying, but stupid me did. I told him it was nice to see them yesterday to which he replied a smiley face. Then this morning he nudged me to make a move on words with friends. I was really upset tonight dealing with a situation with my daughter and I called him. I left him a message and he didn’t call me back. I feel so stupid now! I was doing so well and screwed it up. So, what should I do now? What if he calls me back at some point? I feel like he’s probably in a rebound relationship now as well.

admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:16 am

I would go into NC and not pick up his phone call if I was you.
Janet

September 12, 2013 at 7:50 am

Do you think he showed up to gymnastics on purpose to see me? To test the waters? Why do that, be mean to me there and now ignore me? I still haven’t heard from him so yesterday was Day 1 of NC all over again. I’ll really stick to it this time. I’m upset that he moved on so quickly that I don’t know if I even want him back at this point. I guess I should avoid open gym now too?
admin

September 13, 2013 at 3:45 am

Did he have a legit reason for showing up to gymnastics other than you were there? If not, I would say he did it on purpose.
Janet

September 13, 2013 at 6:16 am

Well, it’s not a scheduled class, but it’s at the same time every Monday and you just pay a fee and your kids can play for an hour. I introduced him to it and we brought our girls together a few times. My daughter and I go almost every week and he knows that. If he really wanted to avoid me it seems like he wouldn’t have come. His actions lately seem like he’s trying to hurt me. He reached out so I responded and now I feel like he shut me down again. Is he testing his own feelings out or is he trying to hurt me? Either way…he still didn’t return my call so I’m on Day 3 of no contact.
admin

September 13, 2013 at 6:18 pm

Day 3 huh! Hang in there.
Janet

September 11, 2013 at 9:05 am

He also told me the night I went to his house that he’s mad at me…really angry with me. At gymnastics he made a couple rude remarks to me as well. I commented on how well our girls get along now (they didn’t always) and he said “yeah, it’s funny how you just couldn’t see that happening.” It was hard for me to picture us as a family before because I was still getting over my former “family”. My point is that he flat out told me he’s angry with me.

Chanel

September 10, 2013 at 12:45 am

Ok, so It has been offically one week since I started the NC, about a hour ago he text me something funny and after reading all your advice I stuck to my guns and refused to respond to him. I know for a fact tonight he is wondering why I havent responded back. lol its funny because he is probably racking his mind to all kinds of thoughts. How do you think about my manuver, is this what supposed to happen, “making him think” ?

admin

September 11, 2013 at 1:37 am

Brilliantly done!

You want to show him what life is like without you and scare him a little bit.
Chanel

September 11, 2013 at 1:08 pm

I think it’s time you get your own talk show!! 🙂
admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:24 am

Lets think of names!

I’ll go with:

Chris’ Love Show!
Chanel

September 12, 2013 at 11:54 am

I think it should be called “The EX Factor”
admin

September 13, 2013 at 3:49 am

Hahaha there might be copyright issues with “The X Factor”

BUT that is a killer name for sure.

Chrissy

September 6, 2013 at 2:17 am

Hello,

So I was in a relationship with my now ex boyfriend for two years. He asked me to marry him 3 times during those two years. We lived together since day one. Most recently in July he told me he wanted to marry me. About a month ago in August, he broke up with me. I was devastated but he said he needed time to fix himself and do his own thing for awhile. I was very close with his family and still am. I had to move all my stuff out from his house. I saw him multiple times within that month and most recently this past Monday. Things were okay but uncomfortable right now because I don’t know how he feels. We have a dog together. I don’t know how he could break up with me when he said that he wanted to marry me. He texted me recently and said that he needs time and space and that we aren’t compatible right now but he said time will tell. I’m not sure how to feel. All I know is that I still want to be with him. I haven’t tried to contact him at all. I just want things to work out. Please let me know what you think.
Thank you
Chrissy

admin

September 7, 2013 at 1:38 am

Hi There,

I think it is worth fighting for.

Have you tried the NC rule yet?
Chrissy

September 6, 2013 at 2:25 am

Also he said that he is tired of arguing with me which I agree with too. He said he doesn’t hate me but that right now he needs space. I’m just not sure if he wants me back in the end. He blocked me on Facebook. So I don’t know what he’s doing. But I guess that part is for the better. I’m very scared of losing him for the rest of my life. This is the man I wanted to marry.

Maureen

September 5, 2013 at 8:49 pm

Me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago because I found out he was cheating on me. The other girl is expecting his child. I broke my virginity to him because I was so inlove. I texted him a week later and he replied but when I continued the conversation he didnt reply. I texted him a week later he also didnt reply. I got tempted and texted him two weeks later and his replies were “ok and cool”. Give me closure. Should I just let him be or should I try your methods??? Please reply.

admin

September 6, 2013 at 2:33 am

What is your reasoning for wanting him back?

Sue

September 5, 2013 at 12:13 am

Hi chris

So it’s been a week since began. I had been on friendly terms with my ex for about 1 month as I didn’t want him to forget me but I know now this won’t help me get back for good. NC started a week ago – very randomly. He has tried messaging me and calling me half way in to the week but I have stuck to NC.

However Now he has started making comments which are making me really upset and making me want to end NC. On twitter he is making comments not directed at me but aimed at me that I have personality disorder which he finds amusing. This is because to him I have randomly stopped talking to him. Making another comment that ‘no longer talk cos your not a priority :)’

I feel like I might lose him forever. Should I message him to explain my reasons for implementing NC? That I’ve come to the conclusion that it is too difficult on my side just to be friends and that NC is the for the best?

admin

September 6, 2013 at 1:33 am

I wouldn’t. He is just making himself look like a fool to you in my opinion.

However, if you feel it is the right thing to do in your situation then you can do it. But I wouldn’t.

Sue

September 5, 2013 at 12:00 am

Hi chris

So

admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:46 am

Soo….

Lola

August 28, 2013 at 3:20 pm

Hey Chris…
WOW I’m so grateful that I found your site and when I did. Me and my boyfriend of over 3 years just broke up last week. We have been having some issues and it was definitely feeling like the 3 year hump that everyone would tell me about. I’ll be completely honest I’ve screwed up lots. It’s mostly when I drink I say things I don’t mean leading to ridiculous arguments. While he has threatened to end it in the past, this time it was for real. We got into a huge argument last week (I had been out drinking and he was sober which makes it sooo much worse). He left the house that night and when he returned in the morning he said we’re done, I cried and begged for him not to do this…bla bla bla. I asked him if he’s okay with never seeing me again..and he said yes. I was in tears and total disbelief that this was all happening. Sine that argument, believe it or not I have not messaged him, called him, face-booked him or done anything for that matter. I even deleted my facebook and have tried my hardest to at least make it look like I’ve disappeared off the face of the earth. The day after the argument he called me, but it only rang about twice (I could of answered it but I didn’t..yay NC points? haha) anyways a second after the call I got a text message saying “Fuck..sorry pocket dial.” BS right? I mean when my butt pocket dials a number it rings and rings and rings and rings because I don’t notice it! Anyways, just seemed like a load of you know what. I haven’t heard from him since then, and mind you it’s only been a week today since the actual argument. His roommate sent me a text message the other night asking If I was going to the firework show…I didn’t respond. I’m thinking that this is his way of figuring out where I am or if I’ve left the city or something..I don’t know. You’re a guy what do you think?
He changed his profile pic shortly after from one of us to just him (obviously) but yesterday I noticed he deleted his facebook too! HAHHH…Gamess…
I’m sure you hear this all the time..but damn this is so hard. We are so amazing together. He knows it, his friends know it, his family knows it and I most certainly know it! I just hope his friends aren’t doing the “fuck her.. lets go get you some” just to make him feel better.
We have a wedding to go to in 2.5 weeks and I don’t know what to do! It’s his friend that’s getting married, but I know his fiance. We’re not best friends or anything close but the invitation was sent to me and I RSVP’d that I was going, so I’m going. Do you think it’s a bad idea that I go? I’m pretty confident in my abilities to pull myself together by then. If I don’t hear from him by the wedding it’ll be 3.5 weeks since the argument, which is close enough to a month for the NC rule…right?
I’m thinking I go and I look the best I’ve EVER looked and see what happens?
Just want to know your opinion on all this and whether you even think it’s a good idea that I go.
I will continue with the NC theory and see what happens, but I really really really hope you and everyone else is right about this. I love him and I don’t want to loose him over something so stupid.
Thanks for making this page it’s REALLY helped and given me some hope when it comes to getting him back.
If you have any suggestions for me I will soooo take any advice. You sound like you know what you’re talking about! 🙂
Again, thank you.

admin

August 29, 2013 at 3:51 am

Go to the wedding. If you see your ex there be the happiest and most pleasant person in the world but don’t engage him too much.

Keep doing NC. Also, evolve during that time into someone he would actively seek and want back.

Oh, and you might want to check out Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO it has helped a lot of women.

Erica

August 28, 2013 at 5:11 am

My ex hasn’t even tried to text me…. But it’s really only been a week…. But I kinda told him we won’t talk for a month. Was that stupid… I needed to tell him because we were talking like usual I didn’t wana dropp off the face of the earth with out a good bye. Or was it stupid to tell him???

admin

August 29, 2013 at 3:38 am

Not the best idea to do that BUT even if he doesn’t text you try not to get upset. You will talk to him eventually.

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1,520 thoughts on “Signs My Ex Wants Me Back”