Today we’re going to talk about what you should be doing with your life after a breakup. Now, seeing as how my team and I have probably seen more breakups than anyone out there we have a very good grasp of what works and doesn’t work in the post breakup time period.

In all, we’ve come up with a pretty strict regiment that we want all of our clients to follow in the post breakup time period.

Perhaps the coolest part about this regiment is that it can work in both “recovery” methods. It can work if you want to “reattract” your ex and it can work if you want to get over your ex.

Here’s the secret sauce,

1. Learn About The Holy Trinity
2. Set Your Maximum Health Based Goal
3. Set Your Maximum Wealth Based Goal
4. Set Your Maximum Relationship Based Goal

Now, initially these may seem like simple concepts but I’m going to actually encourage you to pay attention because I’m going to providing subtle twists about how they work that I’ve never really discussed before.

Let’s begin!

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Learn About The Holy Trinity

The holy trinity concept is probably THE MOST IMPORTANT strategy that I teach on this entire website. You see, after a breakup you are often left reeling.

Add in the fact that the average person coming to this website is usually an anxious attachment style,

This means they are quite prone to the following behaviors,

• Begging for an ex back
• Seeking re-assurance in relationships
• Showing up to their exes house/work unannounced
• Basically any type of extremely desperate behavior

The problem is that after a breakup the last place your energy should be going is into your ex, rather, it should be invested into yourself.

Like the great Warren Buffet says,

“The best investment you can make, is an investment in yourself… the more you learn, the more you’ll earn.”

Wise words from the oracle of Omaha.

Here’s the slight problem though. Most people don’t really know how to invest in themselves. It’s actually for that very reason that I championed the idea of “the holy trinity.”

If you aren’t familiar, the holy trinity refers to the three most important areas of your life.

1. Health
2. Wealth
3. Relationships

There’s this constant balancing act between these three categories that goes on. However, as a whole what we have noticed is that the more you invest in yourself the more attractive you become to your ex (and other people outside of your ex.)

Additionally, the less you actually want your ex.

So, it’s a win/win no matter how you look at it.

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Of course, 90% of the people that I teach the holy trinity don’t do it the correct way.

Setting Your Maximum Health Based Goal

Lately I’ve been really big on “goal setting.” Especially when it comes to something like the holy trinity. Too often I see clients get enamored with the concept of “balancing their life” and they daydream how great it would be but because they didn’t write anything down.

Because they didn’t set any goal. Well, nothing really gets accomplished. And those that do set goals often don’t set the right type of goals.

Yes, you want something achievable but when I talk about setting up a foundational goal within health, wealth or relationships, I’m actually encouraging you to dream.

Think about a goal that you know is possible to achieve but may take your entire life to do it.

THAT’S THE KIND OF GOAL I WANT.

So, what I’d like to do is use myself as a guinea pig here and show you some of the holy trinity goals I’ve set for my life.

We will start with health first.

Health is defined as the following,

• Workouts
• Eating Healthy
• Sleeping More
• Finding a Stress Outlet
• Feeling Attractive
• Looking Attractive
• Hydrating Properly
• Hygiene
• Emotional Health

Ideally your “global goal” for health should be something that can accomplish all of those things. Now, it doesn’t have to technically but it should be one specific thing that theoretically can.

For me, it’s completing an Iron Man. If you aren’t familiar with what that is,

Basically it’s a triathlon that makes you,

• Swim 2.4 miles
• Bike 112 miles
• Run 26.2 miles

Back to back to back. Essentially by training for an ironman you complete all of your health based goals.

Notice how the ironman race isn’t easy to accomplish either. It’s not like I can roll out of bed one day and suddenly be in shape to run an ironman.

No, it’s something that will take years of training to accomplish. Especially when you add in the fact that I blew out my knee training for it but we aren’t about negativity here.

Nope, we care about positivity.

Setting Your Maximum Wealth Based Goal

Wealth is defined as,

1. Money
2. Social status
3. Possessions
4. Property
5. Job
6. Degree

Personally I’ve only ever viewed wealth as “financial freedom.” Generally life does become easier if you are able to create wealth for yourself.

I’ve noticed that more arguments occur in marriages over money than anything else and that’s because of the symbiotic nature of the holy trinity.

Whether you acknowledge it or not the major categories of the holy trinity affect one another in profound ways. Let’s look at our marriage example.

If you were financially free then no argument over money ensues. Which in turn makes the relationship aspect of the trinity stronger.

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So, what’s my global goal when it comes to wealth.

By the end of my life I want to have made enough money not only for me to live without a threat of not being able to pay bills but my children too.

By 90 years old I want to find a way to make 100 million dollars.

Here’s how I plan on accomplishing it.

I obviously run a business here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery but this obviously won’t generate 100 million dollars. Not even close. But whatever cash it does throw off, I’m going to take 80% of it and invest in index funds like the S&p 500 or even the total stock market which usually throws off annual returns of 10%.

Well, over the course of 50 years it might be possible.

Just one fly in the ointment. I need to find a way to save 1 million dollars and invest it. I’m still a ways away from that.

Sure, I have Ex Boyfriend Recovery but that alone isn’t going to do it so I’ve been trying to slowly transition into a fantasy novelist. Which seems like an odd choice but if I can find a way to get it to produce a consistent income in tandem with Ex Boyfriend Recovery then maybe the one million dollar save mark is possible.

And with the power of compounding over 50 years that one million dollar investment suddenly becomes,

Not bad, right.

At least, that’s the plan. It’s a lifelong goal but it’s my wealth goal. What can I say, I shoot for the stars.

Let’s move on.

Setting Your Maximum Relationships Goal

This is perhaps the most difficult one for me to set a maximum goal on. Relationships are defined as,

• Friends
• Family
• Lovers
• Colleagues
• Teachers
• Pets

One of the things I’m really well known for is my sphere of influence concept.

The argument is that often times the people whose opinions really matter to you are those closest to you. They are your sphere of influence.

For me, I suppose my global “relationships goal” is to cultivate a sphere of influence that enriches my life to the maximum.

I’m looking to surround myself with five human beings whose guidance and friendship allow me to grow as a human being.

I can confidently say I have five spots filled out.

1. My wife (who is my life partner)
2. My kids (who have taught me patience)
3. My father (who has served as the best teacher I’ve ever had)
4. My brother (who is loyal to a fault)
5. My artist friend Simon (who is an amazing collaborator and loyal friend)

Most people look at the relationships aspect and only think of romance but it’s much deeper than that. I prefer to look at it as a whole.

And here’s the thing.

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I’m intense about who I let into the circle.

Very much like this scene from Billions,

“I don’t hold on to a loser. The moment it doesn’t feel right I let it go and get away from it.”

The moment someone gives me reason to doubt their ability to enrich my life I have no problem dropping them. When it comes to your life you have the right to be selfish and you have the right to cut people out if they are going to weigh you down.

And yes, that goes for your ex as well.

If at the end of this exercise you find that they aren’t enriching your life in some way. Cut them out. Be done with it. And find someone better.