What Does It Mean When My Ex Randomly Texts Me?- The Definitive Guide

242 thoughts on “What Does It Mean When My Ex Randomly Texts Me?”

Bee

December 12, 2018 at 6:32 pm

I need advice because I’m about to CONFESS MY LOVE.
My ex and I have been done for 4 years and we dated for 2. Our relationship was good and he ended it because of his depression. He needed to sort things out on his own. Since then we’ve gone months to years without speaking. We occasionally run into each other at concerts or bars and we live in a big city. However, during these 4 years we did hangout twice for almost 3 months each. Each time it was clear we were seeing where things took us. We were never back together. First time we moved too fast (I ended it) and the second time we were scared and I was going out of the country for a few months. I wrote him postcards and messaged him but he ignored me after I left even though he said he would be there when I got back. l got the hint.
A year and half goes and he messages (this September) on Instagram about my story. A week later he asks if we can meet. I agree and he apologies for ignoring me and hurting my feelings. He was getting attached and freaked out. He talked about how we would be engaged or married if he hadn’t taken the job that made him so unhappy. He talked about how good we are together and thinks about me often. I asked him what he wanted from this conversation or if he was just lonely. He said he wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he wasn’t lonely and in a good spot. We talked briefly and we saw each other 2 more times. I went to his new place where he still had my stuff. We both have dated other people and become better version of ourselves. This most recent time I played the “not too interested but willing to meet” card because I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I didn’t really share how I felt, but I was unsure what I felt because he always talks about not wanting to hurt me. I could tell he was sincere but distant because of my attitude. The last time I saw him I could tell he was strange and he said his friend was setting him up with a girl, but he had no interest. I shut myself off for the rest of the night. We haven’t spoken since. I know he’s been dating a girl for 2 months now and he has separated himself from his close friends (which is unlike him).
Anyway, I’m 27 and I’m done waiting and thinking. I have and always will love the guy no matter what and I think we’ve been so scared to do anything because of timing. Maybe this timing isn’t great but I deserve to tell him as much as he deserves to know. The only thing is Idk if he will want to meet since he is dating someone. Would a letter be acceptable? Am I stupid? How can I tell him without overwhelming him. I can handle the rejection.

Chris Seiter

December 13, 2018 at 12:39 am

Hi Bee!

A letter is fine if you want to put it out there to set the record straight. But you should look at the bigger picture of an ex recovery plan and I have material and resources all over my site to help with that!

Júnior baldi

November 8, 2018 at 1:05 am

So he broke up, and during the last 9 months keeps sending stupid messages with no content at all, like sending you memes, or vídeos about politics or random photos, like regularly, like once a week, or every 15, 20 days. What does It mean? He said there was no chemistry between you. Oh, and everytime you answer the messages, he never replies. What is that??? I aplied NC rule, but he kept reaching me, and I responded him. He typed on Snapchat many times, but never sentença anything written, only dull pictures. On my birthday he typed something, but did not send. And many Other times he sends me messages meaning nothing. And I really dont know How to move on, we broke up on 03/12/2018, and 20 days after he started sending messages, including this one with a song the we heard together, and then he listened to It, recorded and sent me, asking If i was Alive and telling me he thought about me when he heard It. Recently, the last time i recieved a message of him, on 09/22/18, he sent me a photo, with a paper telling me he passed the Bar examination, we are lawyers. And after that, I excluded my profiles on social média, because i dont want to bem reached by a person that Tells me that doesnt want me, but never Let me forget him. I dont feel he wants me, i think he os playing with me. Help.

Chris Seiter

November 8, 2018 at 2:58 am

Hi there…..could be some game playing. Probably best to revisit NC. Take a look at me eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” to come up to speed.

Kara

November 6, 2018 at 9:50 pm

We’ve been broken up for 2.5 years. Texts me about something my dad was interested in way back like 4 years ago. Wtf?? Is this guy ever going to go away?? The relationship did not end on good terms. He creeps me out. One of those, what the hell was I thinking relationships. Ugh.

Chris Seiter

November 6, 2018 at 10:22 pm

Hi Kara!

Sorry you are dealing with that. Some guys never give up. They get obsessed. If it bothers you, you can block him if it happens again.

Bea

March 7, 2018 at 11:58 pm

My ex texted after weeks of no contact but I honestly don’t know which category it belongs since it was just him saying “Bea it’s me John”. Apparently, he changed his number and informed me. I didn’t reply because I don’t understand the motive behind it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 11, 2018 at 9:04 am

Hi Bea,

That’s good..if you’re in nc, you shouldn’t reply..

Rose

February 23, 2018 at 9:17 am

When my boyfriend and I were together we told each other we were each others one, we were perfect the whole time we were together then one day he tells me, “I’m with you but at the same time I’m not, my mind, body, and soul aren’t in the same boat”. I told him that it was just a phase and that he felt that way cuz he was stressed from school. He said okay and I decided to forget about it, it would blow over once he sees me. When we video chatted he said he didn’t really feel the problem anymore and we were okay for the next 2 days then he felt the problem again. He stopped talking to me for a few days and then he texted me and broke up with me. He had been feeling that way for a week and a half when he broke up with me. He said I deserved someone better than him and that I’m better off without him. I told him all the reasons he was feeling that way then he said he needed time alone. I gave him that time, no contact. After 3 days, he missed me. I still tried the no contact rule and then he wrote me a love poem and sent it to me, he also called me a bunch of times. I decided to answer him a week later and he acted just the way he did when we were together. The next day he told me I’m better off without him and he wants to be friends. I tried to find out what was wrong but he blocked my number. I waited 2 days then I called him again using *67 and he answered me, I asked him why he blocked me and he said because I’m better off without him, I asked him why and he said he didn’t feel the same way anymore, I asked him why and he said he realized all the things he had done to me, I asked him what has he done to me and he said he keeps being back and forth with me and that it’s not fair for me to be with him when he’s not going to be able to give me what I deserve. He said he felt guilty and that he didn’t want that for us i asked him why one last time and he stayed silent for awhile then gave me a stupid reason saying he didn’t let me focus in school. 3 days later he called me and told me how he really missed me and that he’s been thinking about me and asked me if I was happy without him and told me when he wrote that love poem he was really missing me and we talked for awhile and at the end of the conversation he told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say, so I told him I loved him back and we said goodnight. We didn’t talk for 4 days and yesterday he called me and told me he missed me and asked me if I thought he was a bad person, I told him no but I know he means well then he asks me if I would be his friend through anything and I told him idk. We talked for awhile, he treated me like a friend then we said goodnight. I stayed on the phone until he fell asleep. I hung up and texted him saying how our night talk reminded me of a time we had together. The next day he texted me and has been texting me. He’s even asked me if he can come see me. I told him okay and now I have to set up a date he can actually come. I want him back so bad, what do I do now to ensure he’ll think twice about the breakup?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 9:55 am

Hi Rose,
do you want to try the nc rule?

Rose

February 23, 2018 at 12:45 am

When my boyfriend and I were together we told each other we were each others one, we were perfect the whole time we were together then one day he tells me, “I’m with you but at the same time I’m not, my mind, body, and soul aren’t in the same boat”. I told him that it was just a phase and that he felt that way cuz he was stressed from school. He said okay and I decided to forget about it, it would blow over once he sees me. When we video chatted he said he didn’t really feel the problem anymore and we were okay for the next 2 days then he felt the problem again. He stopped talking to me for a few days and he texted me and broke up with me. He had been feeling that way for a week and a half when he broke up with me. He said I deserved someone better than him and that I’m better off without him. I told him all the reasons he was feeling that way then he said he needed time alone. I gave him that time, no contact. After 3 days, he missed me. I still tried the no contact rule and then he wrote me a love poem and sent it to me, he also called me a bunch of times. I decided to answer him a week later and he acted just the way he did when we were together. The next day he told me I’m better off without him and he wants to be friends. I tried to find out what was wrong but he blocked my number. I waited 2 days then I called him again using *67 and he answered me, I asked him why he blocked me and he said because I’m better off without him, I asked him why and he said he didn’t feel the same way anymore, I asked him why and he said he realized all the things he had done to me, I asked him what has he done to me and he said he keeps being back and forth with me and that it’s not fair for me to be with him when he’s not going to be able to give me what I deserve. He said he felt guilty and that he didn’t want that for us i asked him why one last time and he stayed silent for awhile then gave me a stupid reason saying he didn’t let me focus in school. 3 days later he called me and told me how he really missed me and that he’s been thinking about me and asked me if I was happy without him and told me when he wrote that love poem he was really missing me and we talked for awhile and at the end of the conversation he told me he loved me. I didn’t know what to say, so I told him I loved him back and we said goodnight. We didn’t talk for 4 days and yesterday he called me and told me he missed me and asked me if I thought he was a bad person, I told him no but I know he means well then he asks me if I would be his friend through anything and I told him idk. We talked for awhile, he treated me like a friend then we said goodnight. I stayed on the phone until he fell asleep. I hung up and texted him about how that night reminded me of a time we had together. The next day he texted me and has been texting me. He’s even asked me if he can come see me. I told him okay and now I have to set up a date he can actually come. I want him back so bad, what do I do now to ensure he’ll think twice about the breakup?
Alias

February 16, 2018 at 7:01 am

7. She’s truly over it and just wishes you well.
I texted an ex today just to wish him good luck on a big job interview he has, it wasn’t premeditated but totally thoughtless as I was with someone he knows at the time and he’d just called them. We haven’t spoken in about a year and a half (altho ran into each other a few times and he acted angry so I acted like he wasn’t there). But at this point, i’m no longer mad, I’m no longer sad, I’m no longer anything. I’m totally over all of it and just as another human being, I genuinely hope he has success that he’s worked hard for. I don’t care if I get a reply, i don’t want it to lead to anything, it just meant what it said. Sometimes there are no hidden meanings.
Sun

January 30, 2018 at 2:38 pm

Hi, i really need some help. So i am 22 year old female and my ex is 23, we both were engaded. We started dating almost 7 years ago, but our relashionship wasn’t very good about two years, because my ex wanted some attention, but I was working to make our future better, because we planed a lot for the future, I was stressed and didn’t want anything just to rest, I was sad and I talked about it with my ex. By the way we were waiting till marriage but we still did some things together. We planned our wedding this year because this year Im finishing college. So I’ve asked him that past year because he complained about lack of intimacy, if he want to do this now and not wait because I was ready whenever he is ready, he told me that it is okay for us to wait. But things started get more serious but I didn’t saw that I thought that we have a beautiful friendship together. One day we were on a event and he told about some girl (a friend), he bought her a ticket, i was jealous at some point and scared that she will take him from me and use him, spend his money etc. I told him that but he told it’s okay and it is just a friend. So we planned what we going to do at that event and we didn’t because he was with his friends, I was feeling bad so I told him to come to me because he was in another place, but he told me to search for him because he dont knows where am I. So the girl was all that time with them. We ended up at his parents home, alone, fighting ..I screamed at him like I never was before I took my ring off and throw it at him telling him the words im now guilty for..I don’t want to be with you anymore, it’s over between us..he wanted me to be calm and did nothing, at some point I saw that he giving up at me…next day I wanted to talk with him but he was playing games with friends online so I left and gone to my parents house. He asked me if I am mad but i wasn’t I simply didnt told him that but I was chating online with him like I always used to..but then we didn’t chat next 3 days I was scared..why he is not reacting at me I ended up going to his house and wanted to apologise and to talk about it and get back like we used to. I saw a cold face but when I cried I saw him crying, maybe because I know that he told me, he don’t want to lose me, that I am his one and only women and he was hurt about the ring and everything that have happened for that past year, for me always going to work and study not being with him, but I got to admit…somethimes I felt the same way as he was playing with guys. He told me that he wanted a break but we still could chat and call each other, because he want to have time to be alone and with his friends, do what he didn’t do, have fun, drink. We told each other that there will no be a third person or dates with someone else, we had to be honest.
One day I saw he bought tickets to cinema (we had the same history), I’ve asked him what is that and he told me he was just looking and he didn’t bought anything, the same day I was with my bestie at that place to hang out and I saw him with another girl, I saw it was a date, he seemed to be happy, my heart dropped, i didnt felt anything but pain and questions-why..
He called me that day I ve asked him what he was doing ge told me he was at cinema alone, he cried told how he was feeling bad about situation.
One day he was cold next day he was hot. Our break ended and he were on a date 26 of december, we talked we thought what to do now, he told me he want to not get back together but start things over to look where it will lead us, we tried. And we had 3 dates, everytime it was getting better, we started to chat as we used to in relashionship, he told me that he want to marry he want to be with him but he dont want to get hurt again, he told me he is scared of that honeymoon period and then again it will be the same, I told him It will be better. Every meet I showed him that Im not for my comfort of getting him back, im not for the money …I paid for myself, we had something flirts and everything, but he didnt want to hug me normally and when I was talking he was sitting on a phone smilling but he said it was just bussines stuff, but I had a problem with that I told him, I told him that I saw him at cinema with someone, he acted like im stalking him. He didnt liked my jealousy because everytime he was saying you can call me as he could it too, I was calling him a lot because he didnt answer, he always answered for one sec and hung up i was hearing another girl all the time. He told me he is always going alone and he going in to places he never was with me because he wanted so much but im not. So 12 of January that was the last day we were chating very well, because he was writing me first, he was writing me he want to be with me(me too), he wrote hearts emojis etc. He even told me that January it will be his vacation so he want to go with me on a trip but he was having that deppresion, suicide thoughts..another day he was cold didnt reply me anything, said he miss me and feel alone, I was asking him to meet he told me okay but we didnt, even when the week past I couldnt call him because he was unavaiable probably he blocked me even I didnt call him this days, he bocked my parents too, I was at coffee shop I wanted to meet so I wrote him that I will be there waiting (i wrote him on facebook) he replied 1 hour after he will call me but 1 hour later no calls i told him I can meet him whenever he wants, by his house if he wants to, he called me and told me that he dont want to meet and he is already (he thinks) dating another girl (few weeks as I know). My heart was breaking, he told me that I would get home and then we will talk more. So I did, and he was so mad at me at everything what was in the past, how he feels psychologically, that it is all my fault and he likes that other girl who he thinks will love him more than i did, he didnt want to talk to me, he was like a child, laughing at everything and being mad, i cried. We didnt chat 3 days so i wrote him if he thought of everything what we had and I remember he told me that we will never give up (I didnt), but he replied he want me to go my way and he want to go his way because he feels happy, and that the grass is greener everywhere. He told that a girl he is dating gave him more attention for a few days than i gave for that past year, i told him that i can be my better version he said he want to trust me but he doesn’t think it is great idea and that his love is dead, but feeling and good memories come but they only last for few seconds, mostly he remembers just bad memories and always telling me ”you know what people told me what to do” so i think that maybe new people he is talking maybe they told him and he trusted them but not me… What is the worst and kicked my confidence is that i always was listening and understanding his problems but now he told me that the girl is listening to him and he calls her everyday and he feels better because he understands him.
Can love dissapear that quickly? Because we broke on December 2 so now it is almost 2 months past after breakup and it all happened by this months.. Is a break means breakup and dates, because i was loyal. What is interesting is that when we where dating and tried to build everything he was dating or thinking about new relashionship. He met that girl on tinder and he is happy the way it is..but i know he is not because he told me that people dont understand him tell him his situation of breakup is nothing that he have to do that way or he tells me that he will not tell anyone his feeling he will pretend that he feels good it was a week before his cold responds. He told me that he wants to focus on his career and building his new relashionship so it is serious? Im scared because I want him back! Is it a rebound? Even if he is dating he writes me ”miss you”, or wants to chat all the time, friendly and replies very quickly but in some other day he will get cold again and not reply to me and it hurts because i dont know how to get back with him, what he is planning, what his motives are, is he tries to be a friend with me or it is like texting because he is bored or because he still has feelings and scared to let me go? I have lack of energy and because of that situation. He wrote me yeasterday that he is listening people problems and thinks that maybe his life should be like this because he dont knows what he should do and for whom he have to live for..but deep down in my heart i feel like that person wants to get back to and want to live together with me so tell me what can I do to get my ex fiance back if he is on a rebound (he dont post anything about it on social media)..
Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2018 at 5:23 pm

HI Sun,

have you done a full 30 days nc?

Genevieve

January 25, 2018 at 3:14 am

I received a random text from my ex today.
He and I were together for 2 1/2 years, and he broke up with me 2 1/2 months ago but wanted us to be friendly. He and I haven’t spoken for a month and a half, but a week ago I got my first news of him when I received a notification that he created an Instagram, my favorite app but something he used to always say was ridiculous and vowed to never get. He even followed my best friend whom he only met twice, but not me. I decided not to follow him unless he followed me first. Now today, I got my first FB message from him since our breakup, but I’m confused about it. He sent me an article about my university (he goes to a rivaling school) filing a lawsuit for 8.5 million, and then messaged “haha oh shit.” It’s so random, and the article came from my university’s newspaper which I don’t get why he was reading it. But I’m wondering what kind of message this is. I don’t know if he was trying to get me to talk to him, but I didn’t respond because I wasn’t sure how to. He knows I read it though since it was an FB message.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 9:17 pm

Yeah, it looks like he is trying to initiate a conversation.

Mary

January 23, 2018 at 2:35 am

Hi.

My Ex is so confusing. We have been broken up for two years now…and still have feelings for each other. He started dating a girl 5 months after we broke up and they are still together to this day. We have kept in contact with each other and he used to text me goodnight every night until about 2 months ago. He says he doesn’t love her and doesn’t ever like saying it to her but that he needs to play the part. She doesn’t know about me…he has my texts blocked when they are together. He only texts me after she leaves his place which gets to be pretty late at night. I know he cares about me, but to me now they are just words. He doesn’t answer my texts in a timely manner and doesn’t ever acknowledge my emails and I got tired of it. Tired of him not caring about my feelings and always putting her feelings first. He says he has never felt love so deep before like ours and now he’s stuck in this relationship. He says he can’t end it, because to her everything is going great and he doesn’t want to hurt her. He keeps saying he isn’t happy with her and that I’m still all he wants. Is he just playing with my feelings? I started the No Contact this month and am about 16 days into it. I didn’t tell him I wasn’t going to not contact him…just out of the blue I stopped answering his texts…he’s only text me twice since the NC. Back to back days with just a text saying “hi” and the next “hi?” It wasn’t his usual goodnight texts or texts asking about my day. I guess I don’t know what he’s thinking. I am so tempted to call him now that he’s not texting me anymore. If I keep up this NC is he just going to go on a be happy with her?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 24, 2018 at 11:26 am

Hi Mary,

They’re together for almost two years now? If yes, then he’s just using you in some way.

Jenn

September 27, 2017 at 1:57 am

My story is a little different because this is our second time breaking up. we dated for three years the first time for about a year. Within a month he was in a relationship (though he say, for all I know he was with her while we were together) but anyway. He was in a relationship within a month and about 2 months he was engaged. But during this whole time he was texting me but I ignored….I actually did this for about 4-5 months before I had a conversation with him…(he called numerous times for my birthday. But as he was engaged I asked him to leave me along, go be with his girl, but he ignored it =, so I actually moved, changed jobs and everything but he chased me and found me (all while still with her). Again I asked him to continue on there, if it’s meant it will happened because I didnt want to be a part of that. Even though I moved to a new town and got a new job, he found me (just so happen, his job relocated just around the corner from where I live…. what a coincidence, huh?) Within 10 months of this, his mother died and of course , I called to give my condolences and he started to come around and I comfort him during this time and next thing I know he said that he had called off the wedding and was single. He say that he still wanted me but didn’t want to feel like he was in a relationship though. I still told him to just go do whatever he needed to do but I didn’t want to be apart of that. so he made it as if he wanted the relationship but we will take it slow (i agreed because there were kids involved…his)…I told him that I didn’t want to see the kids yet because he went from me, to her (engaged) then back to me…I didn’t want to do it to them or me, unless we were sure we were going to be together. It’s been 10 months, during this time he brought the kids around twice (surprising me). But long story short, just a week after the second time he brought them around, he decides to tell me that he didn’t want to feel like he was in the relationship. But back up first to explain why he said that…just a week before he was home with his kids for the weekend but then Sunday he was going back to work and he called on his way to work, I told him that I didn’t cook….he got upset that I didn’t stop what I was doing to cook for him (but there have been times I didn’t cook and he went to get us dinner or told me to come to job to get money to get dinner. But this time was different, he was really upset that I didn’t cook. Then the next week, he tells me he was on vacation (didn’t tell me ahead of time, so I questioned him about this…this is when he say that he didn’t want to feel like he was in a relationship and that he wasn’t ready…..so while on his vacation, I didn’t hear from him or see him for about two weeks but then when he went back to work, he decided to send these random texts, trying to be funny I believe and also see how I would response ..these text read: “where’s dinner at”, or “I’m hungry, bring me a plate” or “You’re not cooking for me anymore”. Then there was “love u always….miss u too” and the latest one is “hope ur ok and safe”…oh, i forgot about “did you change the locks need to stop by your crib before work” . What’s the point in these text?..he still haven’t called or asked me how I was doing or anything, just simple text. Honestly, I don’t know if there is anyone else because the first time, it caught me off guard that he was in a relationship so quickly, so if there’s one now. But I’m not understanding what he’s doing or trying to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 28, 2017 at 9:32 pm

Hi Jenn,

he’s not going to commit unless you really don’t give him anything if he doesn’t. It looks like he just said to take things slow so he can still get what he wanted.. he just rephrased it. You have to impose your standards. It’s either you walk away from him or he commit and invest in the relationship first before you do.

Til

September 25, 2017 at 4:29 pm

Hi,

This is my situation. I was with a guy in a logdistance relationship ( different countries).We used to meet every 2 months. And it was pretty intense and I never had that conection with anyone. We were together for 9-10 months.The last 4 months were a nightmare in terms of comunication.We couldn’ reach each other. I lost my patience and I suggested to stop a few times. Things went worse and finally in July we broke up, in a really bad way,everything on whatsapp. We always said we need to talk about this on the phone.I was waiting for it. He also gave me hopes like sending me pics in between…Then when we had the conversation basically he was the one who talk and he told me he didn’t want to be in those places anymore.And he didn’t want to come back. I was by then totally in love again and I though we could fix it cause we were beyond that.I also thought about moving to his country.
That made me feel so bad.I felt terrible for 2 weeks but I didn’t text him or anything.
So after two weeks he texted me with all his rage that he was so angry at me etc
He thinks it is all my fault, he did everything for things to work.It is true that I did bad some things and I asked him sorry about it, with my full heart.I told him I would like to make him feel better an so i would feel better myself also.
But never again a conversation on the phone, he avoid it.I don’t know why, I suggested many times.
Then he told me he stills thinks of me a lot and he sleeps with a thing I bought him.
Then from time to time I have a message (not loving) just about things that made him feel bad in the past.I told him to talk all the way, not by drops.
He knows already that I love him and I would like to be with him again and he doesn’t want to be with me but I don’t know why on earth he is taxting me every 4 days, with not useful things.
Today we had a conversation (written of course) and he told me he doesn’t want to forget me etc.I asked him if he feels love still for me and he replied with a: ‘I feel love for some things and for others I don’t’ which is a non clear answer, the question is so clear.
I have the feeling he doesn’t want to be with me but for some reason he doesn’t let me to move on.
I don’t know if I did enough already, but I told him my feelings and he has information in order to wether he wanted to be together he could.
But why is he doing this? I know you cannot be in his head but what should I do?
Sometimes I think he is not the same person by the way he adress to me and the things he tell me. Today it was really disgusting that reply.
And I feel stupid cause I still love him!
HELP

Thank u!

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 27, 2017 at 9:03 pm

Hi Til,

check this one:
What It Takes To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

Mae

June 30, 2017 at 7:17 pm

I dated a guy 5 years ago (pretty serious, talked about marriage) who did not like or have much to do with technology. Think Gibbs from NCIS being more technologically inclined. Anyway, I log onto my Facebook and see that I have a message from him, checked the profile before I read the message to make sure it was him but the profile had just been created (he did not use FB when we were together so it makes sense). Open the message and it says that he misses me, wanted to talk, had his number, asked me to text or call him and said that he hoped to hear from me. My question is why now? Why 5 years later? And for someone who did not know how to even use a computer that would have taken a long time to not only get on FB, but to find me and post a message? I am also married now with pictures of my husband, new daughter and I all over my page. What was he thinking?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2017 at 5:17 pm

Can’t say why exactly, but it would be better to just ask why and if you can help him something..let your husband know..just dont put malice in his intentions for now.. But of course, for me, if it’s really an emergency, he would have said it.. If it were me, I’ll just ask if he messaged me for something I can help with. If he replies just being friendly, I’d stopped talking. Because I don’t make friends with exes, especially if I’m married.. I’m only friendly if the circumstance calls for it, like being co workers or co parents

Confused Andy

May 23, 2017 at 9:36 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend because he had become cold and distant, I felt he was keeping his options his options open and did not want a committed relationship. I did de NC for like 28 days before I saw him on a dating application, during this time he didn’t contact me at all. So I texted him and I asked him what he wanted that I was ok with either decision he made. I told him I wanted a committed relationship that if he wanted that I was there but if he didn’t want that it was better for us continue our separate ways.
We talked for 2 hours and at the end he told me he missed me that he wanted to change certain things in the relationship but not all of them (the ones that generated the breakup). After that conversation he has been sending me random messages every other day saying hi there is a kiss for you (emoji), I just answer without showing any emotions like thanks or kisses to you too. He is being doing that for the last three weeks, last time he disappeared for a whole week and just appeared saying hi I’m sending you kisses, the ones that we like (in present). I said thanks. Then he said you don’t have to thank me, is not a favour. I answered kisses to you too but I prefer the real ones.
I don’t know if he is keeping me in the back burner and he is seeing other people Is he playing mind games? I don’t know how to answer his texts, or how long this is going to take, I don’t know what he wants. I’m not contacting him I just answer his texts. What should I do? What should I answer? I’m very frustrated.

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 25, 2017 at 4:51 pm

You didnt do the nc process the right way.. ALthough, I understand you asked that after the nc because you were the one that broke up with him.. but then I think you should have restarted nc, after you got rejected. He might not have said it straight, but not changing the reasons you broke up with him is like saying, either you lower your standards or walk away..And because you didn’t walk away, you’re conveying that you’re still waiting for him to change when he clearly said he wouldn’t do that.

Mel

May 9, 2017 at 9:36 pm

Hi there. I really want my ex back and have just finished day 3 of no contact. Basically his reason for messaging me was as we are in the process of cancelling a holiday and he needs to pay the fee to cancel it. The thing is, my dad has now taken over this matter and text my ex to say he is now dealing with this and to communicate with him. So basically, my dad text him yesterday to say the money needs to be in and off the back of that my ex said he will get in touch with the company to try and sort something out. Well today, instead of messaging my dad, he messaged me twice. One was to say he was trying to get through and had been all on his lunch and was fuming and the second one to ask me to tell my dad that he will have to try again tomorrow. What I don’t get is why he didn’t just message my dad to let him know that. Why did he have to message me? Can this be any sort of indication that he is missing me and wants me to communicate with him? Sorry for so much info but just wanted you to have the full story. Is it worth continuing with nc or do you think this relationship is well and truly over. We have been split for just over 2 weeks now. Look forward to a response 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

May 11, 2017 at 7:43 pm

it’s hard to say just from that.. he could be or he’s just more comfortable communicating it through you

Maria

April 21, 2017 at 11:22 am

Hello Amor,

it passed one of the third part of nc. I got weird text from ex. I d like to understand it’s type and his motivation for it.

A little bit about our relationship about one year we were in ‘move away ldr’ (was together at one place for a few months) it s me who moving. I moved a lot different place due to my work, a few time I was visited him. Relationship was nice (especially all the time when we were one place) except part of distance. He helped me to move in to the new place and after we broken up.(at the same day) For broke up it was unanimous decision (cause I clearly understand that he isn’t going to commit me now as reason he don’t what he will do in future or make any plan) So break up was without any negative emotion or fight. Just neutral.

Now I got text like that
‘how is your new home? i think i forgot to do smth for you didn’t i?i hope you well.’

What does he want to say by this weird question? or he just is trying to gauge my reaction or checking on me? is it positive or just neutral?

Thank you to make it clear a bit.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 26, 2017 at 4:47 pm

It’s positive.. Probably just trying to see if you would react to him

tired & confused

April 13, 2017 at 10:11 pm

so I went a month and a half with no contact with my ex. It was his birthday today and breached out. We shot some messages back and forth and had a good laugh he even sent old pictures of us to me…

And when I said I was surprised he still had them, he said “of course I do”. He ended pulling away at the end saying that talking to me was “difficult” but that he’s so proud of how well I’m doing and that it was nice speaking to me…it was just too hard.

Any advice on where to go from here? I’m exhausted by all this back & forth and never know when to throw the towel in or to hang on.

Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 16, 2017 at 7:10 am

that means he can sense you really didn’t move on and you’re still hurting.. during your nc, how much did you improve and posted?

fifi

April 13, 2017 at 11:25 am

So I am out of NC and in the process of building rapport with my X (though i know the process of getting introvert X can take a long time). after our last meetup i decided to go silent until last Tuesday he called me in the middle of the night when I was asleep.

The next day I contacted him, and he told me he wanted to ask about some royal family name (midnight?!), and he apologized if the call would wake me up. i told him im fine since my phone on silent mode.

Then he said we catchup sometime soon? (so i guess he would want to see me again). I responded sure.

He told me you have a good day and i replied the same.

Today I felt like i cant wait too long about this game he is playing with me, so i texted him “Suddenly I feel like I’m missing you”.

Up til now I didnt hear any reply from him.

What is your take on this?

If he doesnt reply means I should just move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 13, 2017 at 6:09 pm

let’s wait for 2-3 days.. how long have you been trying to build rapport?

Spencer

April 6, 2017 at 2:27 pm

My bf andI broke up just under a week ago due to a difference in relationship goals. Everything else was pretty good. It was a very mature, amicable break. I’ve employed NC during this time but he’s texted (at 8:45 am) me inquiring about a recent work effort that he was keenly aware of and supportive of. Is there anything I can send or NC only?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 9, 2017 at 2:24 pm

nope.. ignore it

Lellie

March 3, 2017 at 2:54 am

I am a previous follower/current owner of the EBR PRO and can’t find any topics relating to my situation below? Please share your opinion if you can.

After having moved to my LDR EX city and having some friendly surface-level texts that turned into me clinging to him, my EX told me, “we need to move on” on 12/30/15. So I’ve since then deleted his phone number and tried to move on, dated, etc.

Fast-Forward to last Saturday, 2/25/17 @ 12:38AM when I got a picture-text from an unfamiliar number. I woke and replied, 9:12AM “Who is this?” and after not getting a reply (and recognizing the unfamiliar picture of a girl in cut-off denim shorts/tank top) I called the number and got my EX’s voicemail. So later that afternoon I sent him a video a little girl dancing alongside paraders to “back that ass up”. (We used to exchange funny pictures/videos so that seemed like an appropriate reply, mirroring his contact)

He still hasn’t responded. Was his 12:38AM text random or significant at all? Should I have not responded? We hadn’t spoken since June 2016 when I emailed him about a lost dog I’d found and then had 3 exchanges about that dog. What should I do, if anything?

Lellie

March 8, 2017 at 12:55 am

Thanks Amor. It just hurts thinking that his text was accidental, I wish he’d deleted my phone number to avoid those types of accidents. Now I feel like I’m starting over trying to rid my mind of thoughts of him.
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 10, 2017 at 12:47 pm

You’re welcome.. it sucks but sometimes getting hurt again is what helps us move on faster..
EBR Team Member: Amor

March 3, 2017 at 8:21 pm

Hi Lellie,

You just have to wait, if he intended to talk, he will reply. For me, the most is a week, if he doesn’t, let it go.

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