What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Ally

February 28, 2019 at 3:19 pm

My long distance boyfriend and I broke up the last time I left after spending 3 months together. (We had been dating LD for a year). I did the no contact on him and it worked and we were back together in a month. Still LD. I visited him at school and everything was great. When I went back to my school things felt weird and he was feeling very distant. I assumed he was busy with projects but 4 weeks after my visit he called me and said he was stressed about his future and had to distance himself from me. I told him I loved him and I’ll support him no matter what even if it means I am being left heartbroken and confused. He said he didn’t want me completely out of his life and wanted to still talk sometimes (which is what we did the first time). I said no it would be too painful for me. Its day 19 of no contact with him and I am worried because he isn’t responding to it like the way he did before. Does NC lose it’s power the second time around or is he just respecting my request to not speak?
Tania

February 13, 2019 at 4:29 am

Your video above is incredible. While you demonstrated the analogy of the two teams and the focus on what to do not to lose…and the self building prophecy… – you literally spelt out scene by scene the momentum of how something good that started went down the drain so fast. WOW. That is exactly what I did as soon as i brought in that focus – I stopped being me on a day to day basis and focused on how to not lose… just incredible how confident your truth is. Thank you Chris for these little videos.

Chris Seiter

February 14, 2019 at 3:37 am

Thanks Tania….check out the Podcasts too as I interviewed a lot of experts and there are some interesting insights that are shared.

Frank

January 28, 2019 at 3:28 pm

Thank you so much Chris!! I’ll read that article!

Chris Seiter

January 28, 2019 at 11:31 pm

Your welcome Frank. And if you ever need to visit my other which is aimed at helping guys, you can find it at http://www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com

Frank

January 26, 2019 at 8:58 am

My ex girlfriend broke up with me 30 days ago a one year relationship. Her family loves me. He has been very stressed about her job, financial problems, anxiety and depression. She said she loves me but can’t give me attention and affection because all her problems and needs to focus on her life and also find another job. She also said that she is not happy with me bc we don’t go out often. It hurts deep bc I love her and want to be with her. She said that she doesn’t want to be a relationship anymore and I have to accept. I did accept but refused what she wanted: to be friends with me. This would hurt me more. She is the most stubborn woman I’ve seen in my life. I said ok, take care of yourself and you won’t see me anymore. It’s been 27 days of NC and I haven’t heard from her. What should I do?? She initiated the break up and I think that if she regrets her decision and wants to get back to me, she needs to text me. Am I right??? I am not being stubborn or selfish but I didn’t break up with her.

Chris Seiter

January 27, 2019 at 3:09 am

Hey Frank! So it seems to me you both would benefit by having a break and that is what you are doing with the NC. Its not unusual not to hear from an ex. My Program does call for you reach out after the NC period is over. There is a certain methodology in how this is done which I cover in my Program.

Jen

January 23, 2019 at 5:03 am

Hi Chris. My boyfriend broke up with me in November. There were lots of very emotional conversations back and forth(on both sides – not angry, but just pained) throughout December but final contact was on Dec 25 (yes, Merry Christmas ). He indicated that he cares for me but he’s started dating. I told him I was of course hurt, but I understood since things weren’t going well with us. I’ve had no contact since then. He hasn’t reached out. At the end of the no period, should I reach out knowing that he’s dating and may have already moved on.

Chris Seiter

January 23, 2019 at 11:55 pm

Hi Jen!

So at the end of NC, yes, you do reach out and rebuild the communication bridge. Then you can implement the “Being There” method. You can contact my support email at [email protected] to learn more about this method or read my posts about it or pick up my eBooks!

Alaa

January 21, 2019 at 7:06 pm

Hi Chris,

I broke up with my ex and my sister suggested me that I tell him I would like to give him time to think, and whenever he is ready he comes back to me to let me know his answer, however I gave him time for a month, he hasn’t contacted me at all during this period so I tell myself it is better to complete the 30 days

he told me to block him from everywhere though, I still don’t know the reason. But he know he still can send me an sms
Also he told me he would think about it carefully and come back to me “shortly”
around 5 days left for the month to end, I am worried about 2 things…

1. would this actually work if he already knows I am waiting for his answer..? and since he does know that we are actually doing the no contact?
2. What if he doesn’t contact me when the month already ends? would that mean he is not taking this seriously? should I contact him or remind him or something? or just leave him be?

Also one last question, if this doesn’t work, should I do the no contact rule from the beginning? (since this one was already planned with him which I think was a mistake..)

Thanks!

Chris Seiter

January 22, 2019 at 3:37 pm

Hi Alaa!

I agree that completing the No Contact will help you and perhaps he will come to see your value and what he is missing out on. My Program calls for you to reach out after 30 days if he has not initiated contact. See how this unfolds before you decide to do another NC or extend it. Make sure though you understand all the elements of implementing it properly. You can pick up my 485 page ebook “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” to help you with that and more.

Tania

January 19, 2019 at 7:00 pm

I was seeing a guy for a couple of months. He was really affectionate and loving but unreliable. He would often be late for dates or not communicate and leave me waiting. I finished with him the last time he didn’t respond to our plans to meet by text. He never responded. I want him back but know that if I contact him I will just be treated the same way continuously so I want to do NC. Am I just wasting my time. Is it over?

Chris Seiter

January 20, 2019 at 5:11 pm

Hi Tania! I don’t think you would be wasting your time. NC has many benefits when implemented properly. Go look into my Program and latch on to a sensible ex recovery plan!

K

January 6, 2019 at 3:00 am

Our breakup was on May 2017. He cheated on me. We tried to stay friends even after he ‘chose’ the other girl. I also tried to make amends with the other girl. But that was until mid-June when he and the other girl became privy of some awful stuff I said on tweets on an account that was supposed to be private but Twitter had a glitch. Since then I stayed away. Contacted him October 2017 to apologize. Wrote a letter via direct message and all. He responded the next day but defended that his reason to be with that girl is the right choice. We talked but he was wary and cold the entire time. He then told me it was goodbye.

I catfished him on Dec 2017. There was a 50/50 chance he knew it was me cos he keeps referencing to things that have something to do with stuff about me like fandoms, etc. And then we stopped talking as that catfish persona.

On July 2018 I left an anonymous shoutout using a Twitter account owned by a third party that hosts positive messages to be posted as a tweet tagging the username. I sent one to my ex that was basically something heartfelt and wishing him the best. He then blocked me. Everywhere. In twitter, you can have more than two or three accounts. Most people have it for roleplay writing which he and I do (and that’s how we met and fell in love).

The only accounts he hasn’t blocked are the new ones I created in the aftermath.

Never tried contacting him again.

Here I am six months later after that July 2018 blocking and it is exactly two years later too going on three…and I still love him. I still want him back. He has blocked me in certain accounts at Twitter but I also disabled the MAIL on all my accounts anyway while he has his on. So he could possibly never contact me directly ever again since someone who has disabled private messaging on Twitter isn’t going to receive mail from someone they don’t follow back and we don’t follow one another anymore.

I almost wanted to contact him last Christmas. I didn’t. Because I am still blocked. I am waiting for him not to.

P.S. He and that girl never got together. I spy on their accounts and I could tell. She’s never that into him, it was a crush that has faded plus she’s always rude to him in the timeline and keeps him around for some power play. She has copped to playing a game and feigning not knowing about us being together when she went after him. The sad thing is that he knew about this but he forgave her and “chose” her and that drove me crazy. There’s also the age difference. And yes I was his first gf and that girl is actually more his age. Anyway…I will wait for another two years if I have to. I don’t fall in love easily anyway. He’s really the first one I ever loved this much in all my 28 years.
Milly

January 6, 2019 at 12:51 am

4. He just doesn’t care

I’d been seeing a guy for a few months. Seemed to be going well. He was affectionate and intentional, without being over the top. We clicked physically and have similar interests, so we ended up staying in a lot. Right before the holidays, I met his family and he told me he liked me. Since he’d been pretty affectionate, I gave just the slightest check to see how things were going, because I was starting to catch feelings. He then told me he didn’t feel enough of a spark to say officially that we were more than just dating, so I laid it out for him: wasn’t looking to do more than just date at this point myself – just wanted to continue spending time with him to see where it went – but his actions and words were confusing. Told him it wasn’t pressure and I’d be happy to give him space.
No harsh words or serious fights. Nothing seemed wrong. Up until that point, I had not said anything about feelings or the future – it was all him.
We haven’t talked since. NC is not a problem for me. I’m extremely proud and was pretty affronted at the lack of spark comment. Sparks are things you create by doing adventures together and we moved too quickly into just staying in, which was still fun, but I think this issue would have been fixable with an exciting trip or just getting out more. I’m pretty ungettable as is – I’m cute, funny and nice as can be, so the way to step that up would have been doing more exciting excursions together around other people.
All that to say, I think sometimes the guy uses a cop out excuse as a break up and really doesn’t care enough to reach out. Sure was baffling how quickly it turned, however. (And I feel silly posting this since I guess I’m the dummy with the feelings).
Jenny

January 4, 2019 at 10:34 am

Today is 22nd day of no contact. Silence. We have been in relationships almost a year, sweet texts every day. Then one day he just disappeared. So it’s a breakup without fights, without last words and explanation, without a goodbye. When he didn’t reply to my last message, I also said nothing. He’s alive, I see him online on social media. I am really confused about what happened, but I also have some self-esteem to ask about it. Should I need to contact him when 30 days will be over? Or it’s better to extend to 45 days, because there were 2 weeks of Christmas holidays when life is a little bit different comparing to the daily routine? I’m really trying to work with myself and my life, but sometimes a sadness is taking over me.
Dee

January 3, 2019 at 9:38 pm

Hi Chris,

I’ve done no contact quite a few times now over the 4 years and it’s worked every time, although my question to you is, does the NC lose its ‘punch’ after it’s been done so many times?

Chris Seiter

January 3, 2019 at 11:06 pm

Hi Dee!

Great question. I have never tested that hypothesis, but suspect it would lose a little something, unless you added in some new wrinkles to showcase your value. You might want to take a look at my eBooks, videos, podcasts for some insights!

Kimberly

December 26, 2018 at 2:46 am

I don’t think the rhirty day no contact worked. I even sent an email with no response. Called and no response. Texted with no response. So then I sent a text stating it was obvious he was not interested and that I give up. I then get a text Christmas Eve thanking me for his gift that arrived that I ordered before the break up.

This was his message:
Got your gift.. thank you hope everything is going good with you…

Chris Seiter

December 26, 2018 at 3:59 am

Hi Kimberly….so i think the reasonable thing to do is wait a few days and then try another text message, the kind I discuss in my Program eBooks!

Shummy

December 3, 2018 at 6:12 pm

job.
My situation is a bit different.Been together for just over 1.5 years.we love each other and make a great team but fight and disagree quite a bit. I have to travel overseas for 6 weeks.2 days before departure he said it’s hard, he can’t do it anymore despite how he feels for me. He said he misses me but he is looking at the future. This came as a complete shock, cz the past 6 months have been smoother. I have previously repeatedly resolved our stuff but dont want to make it a routine. So I want to embark on a 28 day NC. It ends just 3 days before I head back.should I wait until I go back for me to call back(incase he doesnt reach out?..is it different when it’s temporary long distance?

Thank you.
Shummie

December 3, 2018 at 5:59 pm

Great article!
So mine is a bit different. We’ve been with him for just over an year and a half now. We love each other, make a great team but we fight and disagree a lot. Weve not been the best but the last 6 months were smoother.I am travelling for 6 weeks. 2 days before my departure he said it’s hard for him, he can’t go on despite his love for me.He said he misses me but is looking at the future.Im thinking WTF!.I have resolved us bit of times but don’t want to make it a routine.So I want to embark on a NC for 28 days. It ends just a few days before I go back.Does NC become different if its temporary long distance?…should I still call or wait till I get back(incase he doesn’t reach out before)?…
Stressed

Thanks and I look forward to hear from you.

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2018 at 9:26 pm

Hi Shummie!

I think NC applies in many situations and is highly adaptable by definition. I wrote an eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” that gets into all this and much much more. Don’t be stressed! This is your time to heal and recovery and focus on being the best “you”!

Caress A Pina

December 2, 2018 at 2:19 am

Hi,

My situation is a bit more complicated than those I’ve noticed. I will try and give you the cliff notes version. He was a rebound who came around during the midst of a divorce before papers were filed. I had two small children. I became very dependent on him and needy. I ended up pressuring him to make our relationship official. Next I had him move in. All this within our first year. We continued to have issues because of both his and my uncertainty although we fell in love. I still want healed from my divorce and was confused about trying to fix my relationship or stick with my boyfriend. We fought as equally as we had great moments. Eventually we moved across country from Georgia to Seattle. We felt refreshed but I wasnt completely over the bitterness of my divorce. Him and I argued more. I claimed he wasnt pulling his weight and we just fought. Finally I told him he should move out. I thought this would cause him clean up his act but he took the opportunity to be single and focus on himself. In the beginning he would contact me regularly and I’d be passive and distant. I was traveling and hanging out with friends. When I got home, we decided we’d hang out. Then he became distant and would lead me on. He pretend he wanted to work on things but curve me every chance he got. I became desperate and angry. I’d show up unannounced and blow up his phone. We were still sexually involved but he had sex with another woman and would choose friends he just met over me. He finally became upset at my pestering and we had a huge fight that ended in me vandalizing his car. Since then he forgave me and we have met for coffee. We had sex and then he said we bonded but he isnt completely over everything. He isnt ready for a relationship with anyone but he needs more time. He doesn’t want me to exit his life for good but doesn’t want to ask me to wait for him. He still is distant and I initiate every communication and talk about reconcile. I started NC 7 days ago today. I am not sure if I have a chance or if things are too broken to fix. He is stubborn and clever. He plays many manipulative games and guards his heart against love. We had been together for 3 years. We experienced a ending of a pregnancy and his first big move away from his family. He is vety introverted and insecure. We have been broken up since July. I’m not sure if I have a chance because things were so emotional. I said time and time again I’d stop trying but never did. The longest I’ve gone without contacting him jas been 10 days so I dont know if he will care or take me seriously this time. Should I just give up? He says nice things like I’m amazing, I’m beautiful, asks for hugs when he visits the boys and even spent Thanksgiving with us. He sends lots of mixed signals.

Thanks,

Caress

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2018 at 2:22 am

Hi Caress…that was a heck of a story. I agree that your focus should be on your own healing and recovery strategies. There is much that can be done in that area. All of that is part of your NC strategy. Pick up my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” if you have not already so you are up to speed on how my Program comes together!

Melissa

November 28, 2018 at 4:15 am

Hi chris
I dated a guy for 18months. We had a great relationship for the most part. He is a real man. No head games says it like it is. My son loved him like a father.
While dating I was emotional inlove with him but the physical part took awail. Needless to say our sex life wasn’t the greatest and wasn’t my first (health issues)priority. He mentioned on a few occasions how important sex in a relationship was to him. I blow him off. Finally after 18months he broke up with me telling me the spark was gone and he could no longer see a future. He felt we weren’t compatible.
I had finally started feeling normal and wanting to work on our relationship but it was to late.
He contacted me through text a few times. It’s been a month since rue break up.I kind did everything wrong with the begging telling him we could work on it…
I started no contact after our last text where he said he doesn’t Make mistakes and he is sure he made the right choice. It’s been a week we both havent contacted each other. Do u think I can rekindle the spark ?

Chris Seiter

November 29, 2018 at 3:44 am

Hi Melissa! Guys can say all kinds of things, but sometimes after a period of NC they sing a different tune. Be sure you roll it out in the way I teach it as it is a multi layered strategy.

Amelia

November 26, 2018 at 12:14 pm

Hey Chris !
What should I do ?
My ex and I broke up about 10 days after 4 months of long-distance relationship , we manage to see each other often despite the distance , and everything went very good ! He was planning to come visit me in 2 weeks . 2 weeks ago suddenly he recieved a message that there is a problem with is university and he might no be able to finish his degree . Since this happens his behavior change completely , I tried to be there for him but he just distanced from me and closed . He didn’t send me or called me at all , I was like he was a complete different person . After 4 days I finally got to speak with him , and he told me that he needs me but he needs me next to him in live , and he needs to feel my love in real and not through the phone . The phone call ended in a weird way , later I sent him a massage offering a flight ticket but he answered me that he can’t because of the studies issue he needs to solve. And he said that he can’t emotionally keep this relationship , the distance is to hard from him . And then he dissapeared for hours and didn’t read me answer .. I wrote him that I wish things will be good and that the problem will be solve and that I love him and wish the best for him , and he just read it and didn’t answered so I got upset and wrote him that I’m really disoppinted from him , that instead of finishing this nice and good besucase we didn’t did nothing bad to one another and we love each other , so the basic thing is to end it right and not in a way that looks like I’m just a insignificant person in his life . After a couple of minutes he answered me that it’s hard for him and he feels it’s to soon and shouldn’t ended now .. and that I’m a important and significant person in his life , and the only thing that comfort him , is that he is sure we will be back togheter because of unique and strong bond between us ..
since then passed 10 days and he didn’t contact me , and I see that he is constantly adding a lot of new girls on Instagram , this means something ?
What should I do ?
Thank you

Chris Seiter

November 26, 2018 at 11:04 pm

Hi Amelia….a lot going on here I suggest you tap into my 485 page eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” to guide you through all of this.

Katie

November 18, 2018 at 11:02 pm

Hey Chris,
My ex broke up with me two weeks ago and we dated for a year and 4 months. When we broke up he said hes been feeling uncertain for several weeks and he couldn’t find the source of his unhappiness. We were crying all night and I stayed at his place but nothing happened, all he did was comfort me and tell me how amazing and important I am. I told him I loved him but he didn’t say it back because he didn’t want to tell me something that I would hold on to. When we broke up he did tell me that while I made him happy till the end our relationship was what didn’t make him happy. He felt that it was unhealthy and I’m not sure if he was making excuses but he also said that we will be graduating soon and looking for jobs and he might want to look outside of my state but we never actually talked about our future plans after graduation, he just assumed. While he didn’t physically cheat on me he did inappropriately text two different girls at three different times but I stuck by his side because I really did believe he would change. He is a good person and went through/is going through a hard time. I know I was one of the best things that happened to him and I know our love was real. He said that because we are also best friends he can’t lose me completely from his life. People said that he was doing me a favor for breaking up with me but I’m just not sure if that’s true. I’m in day one of NC but do you think there is a chance we would get back together? Will NC even help repair our relationship?
Amy

November 13, 2018 at 3:14 pm

Hi Chris,
My 6month long boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago bc we had been fighting a lot more the last month of our relationship bc of long distance. Immediately after the breakup I told him I wanted to get back together and it was almost a week of begging and pleading. He was really nice about it and cried when he had to tell me he didn’t want to get back together. He even told me he wanted to be friends. I applied no contact after about a week into the breakup and it has been exactly 7 days since I last reached out to him but he hasn’t been contacting me at all which I find alarming because he was the one who suggested being friends. I know 7 days is too early to tell, but he unfollowed me on instagram when I posted a photo the day into NC. After he unfollowed me, he kept up with my instagram stories for 2 days and then stopped watching them completely. I’m worried that he’s just not caring about how I am doing anymore and I am afraid he will not reach out. Does him not checking my snap and insta stories mean he is no longer interested? Will I have a chance of getting him back despite the distance (14 hrs difference)?
Kimberly

November 12, 2018 at 2:55 pm

Is there hope for me?

My bf of 6 months broke up with me 5 days ago because of a fight where I said some things I didn’t mean (no name calling, it’s quite a bit to explain but admittedly I hurt him a lot.) Right away he decided I broke him to the point of no return and he could not forgive me. I did the whole begging and pleading deal. He even commented we couldn’t be together again but could be friends.There’s no way for me to make up for it, all his exes hurt him and now Im one, he couldn’t say he loved me after I said those words, etc. I was devastated (still am). I’m speaking to someone about this and I sent a text to come back from the neediness and show that I recognize his feelings and that I’m weong without pushing him, and it went well where he said “maybe there can be a future with us, i just cant forgive right now. I think it’s best we take some time away for a little and get ourselves together. How have you been”. She said this is good but I can’t help but feel hopeless because of the things he said and did (took down all pictures of us and changed his status to single right away). I know what we had was so special, he told me all the time and his mom told me he asked her for her mom’s wedding ring to give to me one day. 98% of our relationship was so amazing and he made it known to me all the time. He put effort into it and was so deeply in love with me. Now I said things to truly hurt him and I don’t know if I can come back from it.

Chris Seiter

November 12, 2018 at 11:35 pm

There is always hope Kimberly. And if the history of your relationship has been positive, then its best to go forward with an ex recovery plan which you clan learn more about from my books, resources, and tools!

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2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”