What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Sally

March 31, 2015 at 12:13 pm

My ex broke up with me at the end of November last year, within two weeks I get a message from my sister telling me that he has a new girlfriend and he is still with her today, I got my stuff back and then just stopped contacting him, removed him from Facebook but never deleted his number as a reminder of how he hurt me, I did not contact for over 30 days and during that period he continously blocked me and unblocked me on Facebook but still no contact, after 40 days I had to go to a couple of gigs to see him as I had a dvd of the band I had to make for university, his girlfriend was there but I didn’t make any contact with either of them until the end of the night, that was 22nd January and I haven’t spoken to him since though I do often see him around campus but he doesn’t see me, I don’t know what to do now he is still with his girlfriend, they’ve been together too long for her to be a rebound but I really want a second chance and prove to him that I’m not the same girl I was last year, he stopped coming into the pub i work in where is also where we met, please what do I do im scared of texting him.
Sandy

March 31, 2015 at 6:32 am

hi. my relationship is complecated. he is my ex and we broke up long time ago. i broke up with him because i felt like he doesnt care or like me. but after that i still talk to him, go over his house, spend time with his family, and still have sex. i still had feeling for him. i thought he did too but aparently not. i told him i was confused between our relationship since we still act like a couple. then he told me he is not looking for relationship with me while he was having sex with me. i feel like i got played. he told me i hurt him first. then i was like so this is part of revenge? then he said no. he said he didnt do anything. basically he is blamming everything on me. im upset. he is stubborn and today was my first day of NC. im just hurt and idk whats going to happen. please email me back. and i loved ur article. i read the whole thing. thank you. im just a lost sheep
Bella

March 30, 2015 at 4:03 pm

My boyfriend and i broke up a few weeks ago. He’s assuming that I have been sleeping around (which is definitely not true) and that I am not being honest with him about everything. A day after we broke up, we didn’t speak. But the day after that, he’d call me and tell me that he misses me. He’d tell me he wants to be with me, he wants to marry me and wants to have children with me, then he’d say right after “But, I can’t anymore, we’ve broken up.” There’d be a one day interval before he calls me again. He used to call me every hour everyday when we were together, but after our breakup, he’d call me at least once a day. We both have issues and he told me he hopes that when we are both internally okay, maybe we could be together again and maybe get married one day. Yesterday though, he kept asking me how well I was coping with the breakup and I told him to be honest I wasn’t doing so well. He kept asking me if I had gone out and shit like that. He seemed bothered and he told me he just checked up on me and how I was doing and he told me he wished me all the best. but the past 3 days before yesterday, he kept calling me to say he misses me. We’ve been dating for 5 months but I knew him before long before that. We’re childhood friends and both our moms are BFFS. He is so confusing. 🙁

Bella

April 1, 2015 at 6:36 am

He can’t seem to trust me because of how fast we started this relationship. He has told me numerous times that he doesn’t want to get hurt and I told him I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. I really need your help! What should I do?

jiyaaa

March 30, 2015 at 10:43 am

Hey chris ! I and my ex got baq for like 5 monthns. Week ago we had a fight over a useless thing he almost broke up with me but then some how i convinced him to come baq and start over. Everything was going normal but now all of a sudden his attitude is changed he just replies to my texts thats it.that lovey dovey part is not there anymore which upsets me when i ask him what is wrong he says nothing just give me a break and he doesnt feel like talking to me :/ i m treating him with so much love right now but i feel its useless :/ what i am supposed to do? Plz do reply 🙁

admin

March 31, 2015 at 10:18 pm

Are the two of you broken up?
jiyaaa

April 1, 2015 at 3:15 pm

Actually i broke up with him this time just to show him and make him realize that i value my self and m not gonna bear any of his shitty attitude towards me. But chris deep down it hurts . I really want him back again 🙁 what do u think i should do now?
jiyaaa

March 31, 2015 at 2:13 am

We broke up chris
admin

March 31, 2015 at 10:30 pm

I am really sorry to hear that.

anna

March 30, 2015 at 8:58 am

Hi. I am 26 years old and i never had a real relationship until my last one. The thing is that i didn’ t give any chance to boys who liked me because i knew that they were not what i wanted. So i was thinking “why lead them on and try to be with them if i knew that it wouldn’t work out?” Well that changed with the last guy. There was an immediate attraction and he pursued me and he won me.. And i would like to emphasize that he approached and chased me. So we were together for three months and it was amazing. During this time he would constantly text me, saying how much he misses me and that he was thinking of me etc. We would meet almost every day and have a great time together. We also have many things in common. Then all of a sudden he tells me that he doesn’t want a relationship. I asked him why didnt he tell me that from the beginning and he answered that its something that he realised now. Btw..at this point he started hanging out with some friends from his work.
I know we were together for only three months but i grew feelings for him..and i know that he did for me. Immediately after the break up he started going out with his friends and uploaded photos on fb where he seemed happy and drunk.. Its been 3 weeks since we broke up and he still acts the same.. Going out and having fun with his work friends.
At this point i feel the need to get him back because i think we could be great together. But i m also heartbroken thinking that he diddnt stick around to give us a chance. What should I do? Please advise..

admin

March 31, 2015 at 10:20 pm

I think I should update this article to a new version.

What do you think?

Anyways, does your exes new person have the rebound qualities?

Broken

March 29, 2015 at 8:37 am

My X had been cheating behind my back. I found out broke my heart. Jan 23 of this year we split. He contacted me numerous times. I got off fb blocked his text and texts. On March 10th was last time I talked to him. He called 2 wks from the 10th it was blocked but I could see the call. He says he had girlfriend during the beginning of our separation. To go on with my life.He hasn’t called over attempted look for me. It’s killing me.

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:02 pm

I would check this article out,

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-if-he-cheated-on-you/

Stephanie

March 27, 2015 at 8:01 pm

Did I affect my no contact negatively by sending his stuff back in the mail? No note, nothing extra, just a couple of his belongings. I mailed them a couple weeks after our breakup. Haven’t heard from him and I know he received it.

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:35 pm

Yes you probably did I am sorry to say.

Amy

March 26, 2015 at 2:36 am

I broke up with my boyfriend about two weeks ago. We are both in college. Things were starting to get stressful between us and seemed to be losing interest so I broke up with him and suggested we just be friends. He acted like he agreed and said he had to much going on this semester with school, his organizations and work (which he does have constant obligations), but then got infuriated when I suggested he didn’t care about my place on his life. He then texted me the two days later and started an unnecessary argument with me and texted me again hours after it was over at about 4am to apologize and tell me that he needed time and that he didn’t know how to be friends with me. He and my brother are friends so I saw him about 4 days later at my brothers birthday gathering where he was extremely nice to me and tried to start conversations with me. We had a lot of fun and laughed and joked like the beginning of our relationship. He told me about his new car he wanted to teach me to drive. He directed most attention to me and I caught him staring multiple times. I texted him the next day and asked if we could talk and maybe just slow things down. He rejected the idea and said he couldn’t handle any commitment right now and apologized. I told him I understood but last night reminded me of how we used to be when it was just easy and we could just slow it down. He never texted back after that. I felt extremely embarrassed and haven’t talked to him since then. That was a week ago and he hasn’t attempted to contact me. But, he’s been texting my brother whom I am very close to the past few days about his school problems and whatnot which I find very odd. My brother is also pledging his fraternity so I will probably be around my ex very often in the near future as I was before because we have friends in the same circle. I am literally so sad and don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t get what’s going on. Please help.
sassy sue

March 25, 2015 at 4:16 pm

men are pigs. the end. move on. find a new man pig to love. and can all the women get some self respect there are plenty of men (if you can call them that) on this planet to give your heart and soul to if you want love you have to learn to take the heartache that comes with it. don’t go back it’s usually a waste of time in the end.

admin

March 31, 2015 at 7:58 pm

Sassy sue…

Glad to see that you hold true to your name SASSY!

Though I will say not all men are pigs… maybe just most of them 😉

Sagittarius

March 24, 2015 at 11:33 am

My situation is a little different from the others.

I ended up ended it with my guy because I found out about another woman. No we weren’t in a relationship and no sex … Yet.

We dated for a while. I met his friends his family and same for him on my end. Since I called it off, I feel as if he has replaced me with 5 different women. My friends are bartenders and he brings a different woman in each day. Now the same is for me, I’ve gone on tons of dates in the 3 weeks since we last talked.

My guy is telling me, he is trying to convince my friends that he had moved in by bringing in all these different women, because he knows it’ll get back to me.

His birthday was this past weekend and I texted him towards the end of the night. But I hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary on his social pages. He would typically post all these snarky posts about women and him being a ladies man ( insecurities, cry for attention) but on his birthday, I noticed nothing. Outside of him liking a ton of posts on my social pages last night.

Do you think he misses me as much as I miss him? We are essentially dealing with it the same way but I miss him so much. The only way id ever take him back is if he is really ready for a strong commitment and I’m certain he knows that. And I’m hoping he will be ready!!!

But throughout this process of NC, I’ve realized I deserve so much better. He’s a good guy, he’s just insecure and I’m not entirely sure he can be faithful if there was a strong commitment. 🙁

Will the no contact rule work for a “Player” ?

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:48 pm

Yes the no contact rule works especially well for players. They love attention and the lack of attention kills them.

Were you out of the no contact rule during his birthday?

Kelly

March 24, 2015 at 12:43 am

My ex and I broke up 10 days ago. The reason why he suggested to breakup because recently he went to Prince George for Canada winter games. Yes he’s a pro badminton player. He said he’s mad at himself that he doesn’t have the time to spend time with me and it’s not okay. I also told him that it’s okay and understand. I know that I will be little bit upset but as long as you tell me then it’s fine. He even said to be friends even though it’s hard for us to move on.

To be honest, my ex and I have so much in common. Like almost everything. From all the guys I dated in the past, he’s the one that I feel safe and comfortable with. Like I can tell him anything I want. There’s no hesitant. We always joke around with each other. Most of our friends said we look cute together. We like each other so much. I just don’t know why he needed to breakup. We can solve this. I asked him are you tired of me, because if you are, you can just tell me. He didn’t say anything. He also blocked me on social media apps. I’m close with his sister too. His sister felt sad that we broke up. I actually wanna get back with him. But then i don’t know if he wants to because he hates me so much. He even said its fate for us to be together. It’s crazy. I really miss him. What should I do? Please help me.

admin

March 25, 2015 at 8:01 pm

Pro Badminton player…

Really interesting.

Have you been in NC for these 10 days?
kelly

April 2, 2015 at 8:19 pm

yes even though we see each other in classes, one of us tends to leave asap. It has been 22 days of nc.

Dhruti

March 23, 2015 at 12:59 am

Its been 7 months i and my boyfriend brokeup but he never tried to contact me . After NC rule i texted him and he was so rude to me . He was ignoring me and he really doesnt care about me . I really love him . I dont know what to do about it.

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:34 pm

How did you text him?

There is a certain way you have to do it.
Dipita

March 25, 2015 at 2:57 pm

Chris could you please reply ? :/ to my comment
admin

March 31, 2015 at 7:57 pm

Sure, what’s up Dipita?

Jahna

March 23, 2015 at 12:53 am

Today is day 24 of my NC. And yesterday he blocked me from everything. Just out of the blue I got on facebook and instagram and noticed he blocked me from everything. Is that my sign I need to move on or is there something else there, that I am hoping is happening. Any advice would be appreciated.

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:32 pm

Have you read my article on blocking. I think that would be smart for you to do at this stage.

Dipita

March 22, 2015 at 4:15 pm

CHRIS IF YOU COULD PLEASE HELP!!!
My ex and I had been dating for 4 years until he broke up “forever” two days ago. Two yrs ago he left for UK and even the long distance was amazing n we used to cry to each other often when we both missed each other like crazy. But last year, I flirted with a guy just to see if I got his attention n then a lot of people told him I was dating that other guy. He was heartbroken. He said there was no reason he should stay loyal n slept around and did enjoy himself(I only found out recently). He blamed me so I went crazy apologising n we got back after a lot of drama. Last year we went on n off because he kept telling me we should both try to move on n if we couldn’t, that would mean we were meant to be. He would break up with me, sleep around n come back. He always tells me he loves me but still sleeps around n flirts like a desperate meatloaf. He was never this way before I made the mistake but now he really seems to be having fun. Oh and there was this girl in his area in UK who he fell for, for a while n also told her he was crazy about her! And he still told me he loves me! ! Im devastated n clueless. Oh and he blocked me everywhere..
Veronica

March 22, 2015 at 5:08 am

Hi. I feel I need some more specific guidance here. See, I work with my ex. He’s in a higher position than I am. I knew he had a little crush when I first started working there 3 years ago, however I had a boyfriend for the majority of that time. When I broke up with him I really confided in my boss. Sparks ignited and 2 months later we were official. He was talking about our whole future together! For my birthday he bought me a ring. (not engagement ring, just the last piece in a matching set). He wanted our parents to meet each other on the day of my birthday. The next day it was over. He spent 2 nights crying and telling me that he’s never cared about another person this much and that this may be the biggest mistake of his life but he just ‘can’t anymore’. 4 days go by and he seems perfectly smug while saying that he doesnt love me the way he thought he did and it didnt work out because he “wanted it too much”. We generally work different shifts with a 2 hour overlap. This was one of our biggest problems – not many days off together and being very tired. I am trying to stick with No Contact, however we work very closely within a retail environment, and his management position means that I quite often need to call him from work at his home to discuss work matters (particularly on weekends). I spend everyday looking as fabulous as I can and I have noticed that he goes between hiding away and watching me move around store. This is killing me. Please help me.
Moon

March 21, 2015 at 1:46 pm

I broke up with my stubborn ex bf about a month ago and then I asked him if we can go back together after a week cause I regretted about my emotional decision. He told me that he wants to have his time now. So I told him I will take it as no and I’m walking out of his life. Recently he texted me that he would like to have dinner with me at his house. I responded his text but we just talked about our doggies and that was it. I don’t know what does he wants. Do I still have to wait for him? I still love him so much but I don’t want to waste my time to wait for someone who won’t come back to me.

admin

March 22, 2015 at 5:10 pm

Its up to you really.

Gilly

March 21, 2015 at 1:23 pm

Hi Chris
I’m day 21 into the NC rule and my ex hasn’t contacted or showed any signs of wanting to. I’m worried he has moved on with another girl (I could be paranoid) and I’m beginning to find the NC rule hard now.

admin

March 22, 2015 at 5:06 pm

Do you have any evidence that he moved on at all?
Gilly

March 22, 2015 at 7:34 pm

I may have recently looked at his fb profile (he’s unfriended me) and he’s changed his profile picture to him and some friends and a girl. The Friends I know are from his work. But I don’t know the girl and she’s got her arm wrapped around him. I could just be paranoid but for me, although it could be a rebound or whatever (I’ve read your advice on rebounds) and I’m prepared to wait, it’s going to knock my confidence a bit in getting him back.

Gemini

March 20, 2015 at 8:58 pm

I’ll try to condense this into short story haha!
I have an ex from over 20 years ago. I’ve loved this man over half my life. We broke up then because I was very young and he “moved on” basically after being apart for 2 mo.
We’ve run into each other several times over the years, and we have always remained friends. We both had marriages, kids, etc.
Halloween night, I ran into him again. We hugged, said hello, and off we went our separate ways. The next morning, he sends me a message on Facebook (and honestly, I expected him too) and he asked me to hang out. I didn’t, but we chatted a bit and he told me his wife and he had recently split up. I offered my sympathies, and that was that.
In December, I was offered a promotion that required an out of town trip, where he currently lives, about an hour away from me. He sent me another facebook message, asking if we could meet up, and catch up. This time I agreed. We hung out, had a few drinks, and he asked for a ride to his place (no, I’m not stupid) which I gave him. We hung out there for a while, had a great time, and he asked me to spend the night, I did not. We did kiss, and I felt myself hooked all over again.
I would like to mention that during this time, I had also split with my bf.
We start texting each other, and he asks if I would spend some time with him when he comes this way to visit family. I agree, and I meet his mom and son, then we have some time alone. Things get pretty hot between us, but when we got close to going through with it, he stops it. We talk and he tells me how beautiful I am, amazing, how he could make me so happy. I go home, alone, but so happy!
This goes on for the next month and a half. Texting, he asks for me to spend weekends with him, and I do. Sends me hearts and kisses in texts, makes plans with me 4 months away, even suggests we take a vaca together. People, his friends included, start asking if he’s “mine” and I always say no, we are just friends. Suddenly, texts come less and less…first hours to get a response…then days. I start hearing the “I’m busy with work” excuse. Still, I try. Nothing needy, just how ya doing or a funny joke. Sometimes I get an answer, sometimes not.
It continues to get worse, so finally I tell him “I know you’re busy, but 2 seconds to reply isn’t asking too much. So since your so busy, you take care, and if you need a friend, you know where I’m at.” He responds saying, that’s not it, I’m just really busy. Ok, I keep trying.
However, now instead of what are you doing this weekend, are you coming down…its I have plans. Well, once again I send him a long text, and tell him that I care for him slots lot, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for him, but I understand he’s busy with life so I’ll leave him alone, to take care of himself. He calls me right away, and I hear all the same things. Still, the communication is one sided, but I still attempt to let him know I’m thinking of him. Then he asks me to come to a hockey game with him and his co workers, and I agree. 2 days before tho, he sends me a text saying he’s sorry, he cannot go on to the “next level” with me, that he really wanted to but can’t. He hopes we can be friends and hangout tho and that maybe now isn’t the time for us. I respond with, yes, you’re right, maybe it’s not, but that I’m not looking for a relationship, and let’s just have fun. I then come down and we go to the game.
Only this time, instead of holding my hand, kissing me, always touching me, he really has no contact whatsoever. As we are leaving the room, he says to me “maybe the problem is I like you a little too much.” I leave for home 2 days later, he asks for a hug, and holds into me, and tells me “you know, I care a lot about you too and I just wants things to be right between us, I need to get divorced.” I tell him I understand, and leave. That was 3 weeks ago, we’ve texted on and off a few times, but nothing of substance, and now I haven’t even tried for 2 weeks and he hasn’t either. He also took a trip to see family and friends and will be returning home in a few days.
So, what is your opinion, I’d really like an outside male source to give me an honest opinion? We also have tickets for a concert in May, that we had planned several months ago, with with our kids. Think he will contact me then? Should I just say to hell with him and move on?

admin

March 22, 2015 at 4:32 pm

I think he is honestly conflicted… Things are different than when you first got married and he is holding on to that and he doesn’t feel the same way right now so that is why you are getting these weird mixed signals from him.

Mary

March 20, 2015 at 12:11 pm

So my boyfriend broke things off (after 1year and 6months) to go find what makes him happy. I agree that he deserves time to find himself (although i hate i’m not a part of it)but the following day he came to me and wanted to get back together, I said Saturday take me out and in the mean time friends (he really wants to be best friends) and then he proceeded to sleep with me and all was good. 6 hours later regrets (from him) he cant take the timer of getting back together, so in a way, leaves again. We did a few things as friends this week but I started my no contact yesterday. Do I still have a chance? Btw we are in college and I see him everywhere and we share friends so he is there at dinner.

admin

March 22, 2015 at 4:18 pm

Sure you have a chance but that doesn’t mean you will succeed. This is a hard process and you need to make sure you are smart about how you approach it.

C.H.P

March 20, 2015 at 6:41 am

Hi.

I actually tried the No Contact for 6 years. Very long right? And with the help of my close friends I was able to text my ex boyfriend again. My ex and I talked quite a while for a whole day and then suddenly the next day he stopped texting me. Should I wait for him to respond or is it time to move on?

Hansen

May 3, 2015 at 11:42 am

You’re lucky he even replied.. Defo try to get in-touch with him again, he wouldn’t have replied if he wasn’t interested in you! And if you are still thinking about him after 6 years, it only means that you love him dearly and miss him alot.
admin

March 22, 2015 at 4:13 pm

Ummm… 6 years is too long haha.

Just try to restart the conversation and see if it happens again.

You may not have made the conversation intersting enough initially.

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2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”