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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
Cher
February 22, 2015 at 11:44 pm
Hi, so my ex-boyfriend broke up with me TWO YEARS ago, but in the past two years, we agreed that we would work on ourselves (get a degree, financial stability etc and then MAYBE we could get back together. We became parents at the age of 18 and 20, and because of that we had a lot of issues that we had to work on seperately.
The past two years neither of us had moved on, we still slept together, spend weekends at each other’s places with our daughter, but officially we weren’t together. He’s said we’re not getting back together for the entire two years, but then still kept seeing me and changing his mind. Recently he has met this girl in his class, they were just friends at first, but she likes him and is pursueing him and she succeeded cause now they’ve made out and are pretty much pre-dating. He likes her, but he’s not sure where this is gonna go. I’m scared that in the 30 days of me ignoring him, i’m just giving her 30 days to make him fall head over heels in love with her. How do I make him miss me without increasing the risk of this thing with her becoming something serious?
rebecca
February 21, 2015 at 5:01 pm
I am currently in no contact, its been nine days since we broke up and stopped talking. He broke up with me after 3.5 years because he ‘didnt want to be in a relationship right now’. A lot has gone on recently, a close loved one of his has died and hes got a lot of pressure on at uni. I still believe he loves me, do you think making him miss me will work?
What should i text him after the 30 days?
admin
February 22, 2015 at 5:04 pm
Good question, if you read through this site you will find plenty of exmaples of what to say in the first contact tex tmessage.
Nicolette
February 21, 2015 at 2:39 pm
What if he has got another girlfriend?what if my ex boyfriend of 3 years has another girlfriend but he still wants me back but is too confused to make a decision?he probably is scared to be alone because he didnt give himself time to get over our break up and now that his emotions are all over the place he does not want to leave this girl because of fear that things dont work out between him and i he will be alone..i want him to wake up so i started the no contact rule..am i doing the correct thing?
admin
February 22, 2015 at 4:55 pm
Then I would direct you to go to the page over that.
Miss confused
February 21, 2015 at 6:27 am
Dear Chris
Il try to be brief as possible… :/
My ex and I first met 11 years ago, I was 15. He fell in love with me when he was 16, we were just kids but his love was deep and intense. He went through a lot for me, he even went and got a tattoo with my name on his chest.
As i child i suffered from sexual abuse from a close relative, and emotional torture in my own household too. my parents never got on, my dad was aggressive and controlling and there was never a safe feeling or any form of love. Therefore I have some serious issues, psychological stuff. I put my ex through a lot as a teenager, i emotionally abused him with no real intention to hurt him. I loved him and he meant alot to me. but i didnt know how to love healthily. I was jealous, insecure, controlling and needy (i still am!) I was even jealous of his sisters and nieces and he still put up with me and my drama for over a year. he was just a kid himself. anyway he ended up turning to another girl for comfort and we drifted apart. after i turned 16…
from then on i never really thought of him,i moved on and I left my town to go to a different city for university. I met another guy there and I still had the same issues, the lack of emotional control. doing crazy ass things for attention after ruining my relationships due to my lack of self love etc.
Over the past 9 years my ex has always reached out to me.. even when he was with this other woman, he was still contacting me and expressing his love to me. i even saw them together once and it was very clear to all 3 of us of how he felt about me… however i never looked back at him because i saw him as cheating.. yet I still wasn’t angry with him because i knew how intense i was and how much i messed up his head with my games… he broke up with her over 6 years ago now.
this past summer (it had been over 9 years since we broke up) he reached out to me yet again. i have always been there for him. when he has messaged me to tell me he lost his job, or when he got sick, or was on a downer. I’ve never ignored him, but i still wasn’t interested.
this summer we met up and had a nice day out.. he started to open up about his feelings and tell me he still loved me and wanted to get married. he told me that he went with another woman because i told him numerous times i was seeing other guys (looking back i do remember playing these games with him as a teenager) so his past with this girl wasn’t a massive issues.
anyway, after a long think and talking to my friends i decided to give him a go. he was doing very well financially at this point so I saw him as a responsible guy now too. but soon after i moved to a different country for work, he realised i still had the same issues i had 10 years ago. at first he was able to handle it and communicate with me, but soon after i left for work he lost a lot of money, he became depressed and also couldnt put up with me… he felt like he brought the worst out in me…
anyways after a few weeks of crazy chasing him, he blocked me and we didn’t talk for a few weeks…. i realised over that time he was more depressed about his financial state than me.. so i reached out to him regarding that, and he responded and started opening up to me. after a few weeks of being there for him, i asked him to come to me to have a break. he told me he will come but he will not get married to me as he never wants to get married….
when he came we had a great time together, first day was awkward but i went out of my way to make him feel comfortable. within two days he decided he does want to marry me and admitted to still loving me…
after he left, one month after, i started to freak out again, i was annoyed he hadn’t got a job. i was annoyed he wasn’t working towards us getting married. i got so out of control and angry with him, i trashed my apartment and then later sent him pics..
its now been two months of going back and forth, i was trying to talk to him, up until a month ago he was still into us, but saying lets take it easy and just be friends. but i kept pushing and nagging me. he said i was harassing him (i was sending over 100 messages in an hour during my high emotional anxiety stages)
yday i had another anxiety attack and begged him to talk to me… i was gonna go out and drink, i wanted to die etc. i was being so silly . i was full of grief, anxiety. i just felt abandoned.
anyway once i had this episode, i saw how i was behaving. same behaviour patterns for the past 10 years, same issues with all the men… so i blocked him on whatsapp, before he could respond to me.
I decided i need to go NC, i need to heal myself. i need to stop torturing him. i need to sort myself out somehow and get over these same ways i am dealing with men. i need to love myself..
but i still love him dearly and i feel so terrible that i pushed him away. he isn’t just some guy that i was dating for a few years. this is the guy that has loved me ever since he’s laid eyes on me, and now I’ve pushed him that hard that he’s telling me he doesn’t want to get married.
is there a way back from this? for me?
admin
February 22, 2015 at 4:40 pm
I am sorry I kind of skimmed your message.
It was rather long.
The thing that stuck out to me was that you were blocked…
Are you still blocked by him by any chance?
MissIForgotMyself
February 19, 2015 at 10:13 pm
I’m not sure which blog this should go under, but what do you do when your ex says “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you anymore and I never will be.”? The reason we split is because early on in our 1.5 yr relationship he cheated. We got back together , but that seed of insecurity was planted in my head and over time grew to where we were fighting all the time over stupid stuff. Everything seemed like a slight to me and I became somewhat clingy and nagged him all the time. I didn’t recognize the cause of our issues before, but I had some epiphany since we split. (His -totally legitimate- reason for the split.) I am a strong, independent, successful woman, but I forgot that after he cheated because somewhere in the back of my brain I got this idea that there was something wrong with me and that’s why he strayed. (I know that’s not the reason, but try telling that to your subconscious when you don’t know it’s there.) Also, when, if ever, & how do I tell him about this epiphany so he believes me? (He doesn’t believe people can change.)
admin
February 20, 2015 at 11:33 pm
Hmm… if you want you can record a voicemail to me and I can feature your question on the podcast.
MissIForgotMyself
February 21, 2015 at 4:11 am
Sounds great! How do I do that?
admin
February 22, 2015 at 4:37 pm
Visit this page,
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/contact/
MissIForgotMyself
March 6, 2015 at 12:25 am
I screwed up and broke the NC rule. Surprise! That didn’t work. We hung out and slept together twice because we still have crazy chemistry… yet he thinks he can’t fall in love again… Can I still call with my original question?
MissIForgotMyself
February 19, 2015 at 10:15 pm
Thank you in advance for your insight and time.
admin
February 20, 2015 at 11:33 pm
You are so very welcome
MissIForgotMyself
February 19, 2015 at 10:55 pm
I want to add that his answer to why he fell in love with me to begin with according to him is because I’m fun, (there are more reasons,) but the fun in the relationship has gone by the wayside. So now that I know the issue, I can address it , deal with it, & get back to the fun again. I’m not sure he believes that.
H
February 19, 2015 at 9:33 pm
My ex and I were together almost 2 years. We had a deep relationship. He cheated on me 3.5 years ago (2 months after we started LDR) and broke up with me for that girl. Some time after, I contacted him but his response was cold and distant. The 1.5 years after that, I contacted him a few times but every time his responses were short and cold too. I felt tired and stopped trying. So now it’s been almost another 2 years that we had completely no contact at all; practically don’t know each other anymore. The only thing I know is that he broke up with that girl a year ago, and the reason he told his friends about our breakup was simply that we were “not suitable” for each other. And seems that he hates me and wants nothing to do with me.
It will be the 4th year we’ve been apart. All these years I have never got over him, and have stayed single the entire time. I tried to change myself and date somebody, but I just can’t fall in love again (and can’t find anyone suitable for me). I want to reconnect with my ex real bad, but at the same time I won’t do anything because I don’t want to lose my dignity anymore.
Do you think he hates me or simply doesn’t care? What should I do (to get my ex back)?
admin
February 20, 2015 at 11:32 pm
Did you ever get over the cheating?
Did your relationship ever recover from it.
H
February 21, 2015 at 3:53 pm
Thanks for replying.
I was devastated and extremely hurt, but I forgave him (he didn’t know and probably doesn’t care). We broke up because he cheated and he chose to be that girl. Since then, we were basically strangers; as I said, I tried to reconnect and be friends with him but his responses were very cold. We never “recovered” or “got back together” or anything.
I am baffled by his “hate” on me… I mean, it’s him who cheated and hurt me. Was he trying to justify his act?!
My ultimate question is, how to get him back 3-4 years of no contact after the breakup. And given that he hates me/doesn’t care.
admin
February 22, 2015 at 4:56 pm
He was definitely trying to put himself in the victim role and perhaps justify things.
H
February 23, 2015 at 8:32 am
How to make a guy who’s moved on to reconnect with me?
I unfriended him on facebook and did NC after we broke up because I was so hurt. Seems that NC didn’t work and just made us even farther apart. He came back to my city a few months after we broke up, so he mostly had LDR with that girl in their 2-year relationship). It saddens me that we became strangers even when we are in the same city again. Like so close but so far.
I also tried to get help from our mutual friends but the friends either refused to step in between us or said my ex refused to see me again and wanted me to move on.
What should I do? I can’t seem to get over him.
H
February 25, 2015 at 6:45 pm
Hey, what’s your advice on how to reconnect with a stubborn ex with no contact for years? Like how to even approach him?!
Would I seem like a loser?!
buffy
February 19, 2015 at 4:15 am
Can the no contact rule work with a close/best friend? Or does it have to be an ex?
admin
February 20, 2015 at 11:11 pm
It’s meant to be for more of an ex but I imagine it can be effective on friends too.
Nice name btw Buffy 😉
buffy
February 22, 2015 at 4:20 am
Lol thanks!
aqua96
February 17, 2015 at 6:01 am
well my bf broke up with me 4 months ago, still tried to contact me few times during the NC rule..no cheating was involved in our breakup..i just wanna know is it the right time to contact him? while he still wished me my birthday 2 weeks ago… but too stubborn to make it straight… he now has a girlfriend soon after breaking up (he knows i hate her).. when ever i have to talk to him for a reason he instantly replies me… and without any assitation sends me two to three msgs at a time.. but he never accepts that he wants me back.. he’s sometimes cold and sometimes really polite..i don’t know how to handle it. i really tried to support him with his personal matters with his family (he told me, he had a huge fight with his parents but still tells me to stay away from his matters).he says he will not reply me but still does ans my msgs :P… i really worked on my self during the NC phase… and not in a bit hurry to get him back….but still i can’t move on….. plz help
admin
February 17, 2015 at 1:01 pm
Well, I guess the next step would be to contact him after NC is up. Do you have an idea of what you are going to text him. …
samantha
February 16, 2015 at 5:29 pm
Hey, my boyfriend ended things with me and said he still wanted to be friends. The thing is we both still want to be together, he just has some major self confidence issues. He said we should take a few weeks to think things through and then meet up. This was almost 6 weeks ago. I sent him a message today (the only time I have got in touch) and have not had a response as yet. It was just a quick one asking how his recent college exams were so nothing pushy. What is my next move? Why isn’t he replying?
samantha
February 17, 2015 at 12:16 pm
Update he did reply a bit later. He said ‘hello. Failed one so need to resit not heard about the rest.’ I replied and said I was sorry to hear that and I am sure the rest were fine and asked how his hobby was. Not heard back, he hasn’t read the message despite being online a lot since then.
AJ
February 12, 2015 at 5:11 pm
What is the best way to pass time during the NC period? I have been going to the gym and going out with my girlfriends. I don’t even bring him up in conversations anymore but I think about him all the time. I have decided to start reading a new book to distract my mind. We broke up 2.5 weeks ago and I haven’t spoken to him in over a week. So officially, I am one week into NC. I work full time but my mind keeps wandering. Do you ahve a good mantra to help?
admin
February 16, 2015 at 10:22 pm
Keep yourself as occupied as possible with anything you can think of. Work, working out, friends, etc..
sabrina
February 11, 2015 at 4:28 pm
what if he doesn’t contact simply because he has moved on and isn’t interested at all?
are you sure that any guy who initiated the breakup will want to check up on the girl?
could there be guys that simply do’t care? (i’m not talking about a 2 month relationship but a 2 year one)
thanks,
sabrina
admin
February 16, 2015 at 9:45 pm
Yes, I am sure he will be curious about you.
Amanda Travis
February 11, 2015 at 2:33 pm
Hi Chris
Your articles have been beyond helpful for me and allowed me to get an idea of what goes on in a mans mind. My boyfriend cheated on me and led me to believe he would work for me and a few days later ended it. The next day he deleted everything of me off every social media. We did not text for an entire week and while he was on a trip with friends he texted me askinn for his things back. (He only left two shirts at me house) he asked to stop by to pick it up and I told him not to worry his sister will get it for him. His birthday passed by and I didn’t say happy birthday. When his sister picked up his things I also put in the box every gift his ever given me and letter and pics. I wrote I didn’t want anything that reminded me of him. He texted me that night saying goodluck with everything and a little more. Nothing too emotional but I didn’t respond. This we about two weeks into our breakup. It’s now been 31 days and he hasn’t contacted me since but I haven’t spoken to him since the breakup. Neither seen him. We were together for a year. I feel like he has resentment towards me because I didn’t chase him and I hurt his ego by not texting him happy birthday. He’s constantly with girls now partying and clubbing and just recently decided to block me on everything. I want to know what’s going on in his head now and will he ever contact me or is he too stubborn? Thanks for everything
admin
February 16, 2015 at 9:40 pm
Glad they have been helpful.
Have you read my “blocking” article?
I think that would be ideal for you.
PI
February 11, 2015 at 12:33 am
I’m doing the NC, but he is constantly calling me. I do not answer because it’s not been 30days. What am I to do? What’s the right thing to do?
MeMe
February 16, 2015 at 1:56 pm
Be patient as hard as that sounds. Men do N.C. for longer periods of time for control. You love him so it hurts. I would let him hold his breath till his balls turn blue. Sorry. Use tough love on him. If he took you for granted and he is a man, no matter how stubborn he is,he will come to his senses. Might be tomorrow might be years from now. To have a great relationship love you first and demand respect otherwise these games will continue. Things will work out make him know that you are serious and he will be sincere with you. People only do what you let them them get away with.Now have some pride and stand strong. Good luck.
joy
March 15, 2015 at 3:30 pm
I have been dating this guy for abt 11yrs now,he abuises me in so many different way.he cheated on me so many times but I 4gave him.on the 28 of feb he accaused me of sleeping with a co worker just bcos I took pity on him for he was relieved from d company.I got angry over accuse .I didn’t talk to him till d next day.wen I called he said dat I should stop bordering him den I didn’t call again.after 2 days I went to his house to see d family unreaching there he wasn’t around then I decided to clean his room,wen I opened d door with d spare key,I saw a girls wallet I was suprise den I decided to check well I now saw used condom and a pad.so I did clean d after all but before leaving the house I told his people wot I saw but they apologised on his behave.wen he saw me the next day he was too shy to look @ me.latter that evening I saw him @ d mall but didn’t talk to him.after two days he called for his things dat I drycleaned so I took them to him since then he hasn’t call again and am not ready to call bcos its his fault but am hurt.do u think he will call?
admin
February 11, 2015 at 2:04 pm
You are doing everything right so far!
Laura
February 10, 2015 at 11:37 pm
Hi Chris,
I don’t really know if the ‘I should contact him first after NC’ is going to work for me since the guy I want to be with isn’t exactly my ex boyfriend. We know each other for 2 years now but we kind of dated about 2 month when we first met but both of us weren’t ready for a relationship back then so it didn’t worked out. But I did already fall in love with him and he’s is kind of my first love and I never had a relationship. When I first dated that guy it didn’t end in a good kind of way I wa pretty dumb and made lot of mistakes. But 6 month ago he contacted me again and asked me out but I did say no bc I had family issues at this time. Even though I said no he asked me out again 4 month ago and I was already hoping that he would ask again so I said yes. We did go out about 5 times because he was really busy all the time but I also did again some mistakes like being too needy and texting him too often… Last week I told him that only seeing him once in a month isn’t enough for me and he said that he really likes me but he doesn’t have enough one for me right now and that I probably already have someone new when he isn’t that busy anymore…
What do you think ? I’m doing the NC but should I really text him first after NC if he doesn’t contect me?
admin
February 11, 2015 at 2:10 pm
Were the two of you ever official?
How far did you go in your relationship together?
Laura
February 11, 2015 at 2:51 pm
We never were official but we got intimate when we first met but we didn’t get this far when we dated again for the last 4 month.
Laura
February 11, 2015 at 3:20 pm
I have to correct myself.. We did not get intimate at the day we first met, I meant when we first dated 2 years ago…
Elizabeth
February 9, 2015 at 10:03 pm
Hi Chris,
I’ve navigated back to this website a few times.
I was in a fantastic relationship for about 1.5 years which ended about 4.5 months ago. During the 4.5 months that we have been broken up, he has driven out to visit me, we have been intimate, we have cried together, and definitely fought a lot about the past…it felt like, the chemistry and love is definitely there, but when we are so upset with one another… we can’t see anything else.
He had really justified reasons for breaking things off with me and I have reflected on them and truly believe in my ability to be a better partner to him if I were given another chance, but he doesn’t seem to believe in me anymore.
For a majority of the time that we have been split up he continued to say there was still some hope and he says he will always love me and care about me. The last time we spoke was about 1 week ago and I asked him if he wanted to try to fix things. He said that he is too upset and hurt to want to fix things. I had been holding on for so long with his words of “one day” and it hurt every time I put myself out there for him, just to be rejected and kept at a distance. BEcause of that, the last time we spoke I told him that I needed him to disappear, for my own sake.
Knowing him, with all of his other ex girlfriends he would have cut off completely as soon as they broke up, so I know that for this to have gone on so long means something. I just worry that because he is experienced in this, it will be easier for him to not contact me than the other way around. Plus he is capable of being VERY stubborn and will absolutely think to himself “I’m just doing what she wants.”
Okay, so that’s the background. The problem is that I love this man. I have been in love before and I can tell the difference with him. I have always wanted to have children, since I can remember, and we had talked about this in great detail together. Since the breakup…I can’t even see myself being a mother if it isn’t with him. That’s something I have never experienced before. I believe that he is the one for me and that I am capable of being the person he needs.
How can I help him see that and what should I say about my feelings when I initiate contact again, since I requested he not speak to me to begin with? I feel that he may just be upset and need time to realize what we have…but I really don’t want to go back into it like I’m trying to be his friend, because that isn’t what I want, and with someone I feel so certain about, I don’t think it would be possible for me to be in his life as anything other that what I was to him before.
Please advise.
Best,
Elizabeth
admin
February 10, 2015 at 3:45 pm
Don’t bring up the feelings until you know he won’t respond negatively to them.
AJ
February 9, 2015 at 4:36 pm
Hi Chris,
It has been two weeks since my ex and I broke up. I went 1 week without speaking to him but he texted me and I called him. He wanted to drop off something I left at his house. I told him to just put it in the mail box but he said he wanted to see me again, I told him no. Then I texted him just twice after that (he was paying for his share of trip we had to cancel). Now it has been another week since that. I unfriended him on Facebook because I didnt want to keep seeing posts of him and his friends.(was that smart?)
We broke up because he says I am very important to him but he just doesn’t have those feelings for me. This cannot be true because he said that we have a special connection and that I am the best girlfriend he has ever had. We were really happy together and didn’t fight. He broke up with me after having the perfect weekend.
So I am going to try the NC thing for 30 days but is he telling me the truth when he says he doesn’t love me? How can someone say all these nice things to a person and end a sentence like that?
admin
February 10, 2015 at 3:18 pm
Something tells me he is talking from a place of anger… So, he might not fully mean it.
AJ
February 10, 2015 at 5:20 pm
Why is he mad? He broke up with me and I didn’t do anything wrong. Usually, I do. I ahve dated a lot of men and this is the first time where I have been blind sided by a breakup. It just came out of the blue!
admin
February 11, 2015 at 1:34 pm
Were there any type of warning signs at all?
AJ
February 11, 2015 at 2:54 pm
Long story short…there was another woman who he was talking to. She contacted him because she was dying and wanted to see him one last time before she left town. He told me they flirted and he wasn’t sure “what would happen.” Nothing happened but when he broke up with me he said that is when he started thinking about it. He said why would he have feelings for another woman if he was into me?
However, at that time he told me that he told her about me and he called me after their happy hour to tell me that I am it for him and that his thoughts are with me before he sleeps.
So…maybe he is just confused?
There were times where I thought for sure he was going to say I love you to me and there were many times where he told me how happy he was with me.
I just don’t get how we went from being so happy to this? It really sucks. I miss him and want him back but I want him to want me back. I don’t want to chase him.
crys
February 9, 2015 at 2:29 pm
Me and my ex have been in this on again off again mess since we broke off our engagement in October. we had a huge break up over something I lied about . Through this time we decided to work on things but we constantly fought. About a month ago we broke up come to find out just before he left he started dating someone else and said “do you blame me after what you did” (referring to the lie in October. We fight all the time it seems like and he constantly brings up the past to argue about. I’ve tried the no contact a couple times and he tells me ignoring him is not adult like. yesterday he started with the past aand I dodnt answer. Then he apologized and said we are growing apart every day. I still didn’t answer. His final message to me last night was ignoring him makes us farther apart. He has move in and is seeing someone else. Should I continue to ignore him? We do have financial obligations together that’s what makes it tough. Any advice would be appreciated. I really love him. Just not this side of him. Or the fact he moved on so quickly
Amber
February 9, 2015 at 9:14 am
so we broke up 46 days ago and never really talked to each other since then, suddenly on the 24th day he contacted me talking to me and he was so angry about a certain topic and i explained to him and somehow it ended well and now 16 days had passed since our last conversation should I make the first move to contact him or should i wait for another 30 days?? thanksss
Sarah
February 9, 2015 at 9:07 am
Hi There,
So here’s my story, I would love your thoughts.
I met this guy at work 3.5 years ago and when i moved onto the same floor as him he started talking a lot to me via internal communicator. Before long we were talking every spare moment we could. He was engaged and so i drew the line and just settled for friends. Stupid I know on both our parts because attraction was there. After a while he told me he as really unhappy in their relationship but felt so guilty for things he had done in the r’ship (abortion, cheating) that he didn’t know how to leave. I just supported and told him to talk with her about it and took the role of counsellor. I went overseas for 2 months and we contacted all the time via email and when i got back i knew we were more and had to say something. Ps no physicality at this point. He agreed that he couldn’t get me out of his head and that he knew we were “right” and he didn’t want to marry her so he called off the wedding and we started dating, it was great he took me out all the time and spoiled me completely with words, love and attention. She came back very quickly though (didn’t know about me as i kept a low profile given everything) and threatened to self harm and his family (traditional Europeans) kept forcing him to reconsider her. They didn’t know i existed. So he said to me he’d have to end it more easily on her. So i stayed and supported him (wrong move on my part) so i stayed and stayed and stayed for about 7 months and i kept cracking it because it was never officially ending with them and we were only together whilst i was at work or he was at “gym”. He started to tell people at work about us so i took that as a good thing considering they knew his ex.
anywho he left at one point for a couple of weeks with no word because i guess things got too much with two girls both being angry and upset at him. I did the NC and it worked he came back elaborately, asking for another chance and saying that it was all the family pressure and guilt he couldn’t handle what he did to her but that he knew i was the one that he was happy with. i took him back but was always expecting him to make the moves because i had nothing to go by till he was “officially” with me (in my mind that was actions over words) and he said he’d make things right. 4 months later it was bliss on our part and i kept side sweeping that there was still no proper end to them and i gave him an ultimatum, he said he loved me and bursted into hysterical crying (for a grown alpha male i was shocked) and said he’d end things with her that week. never heard from him after that. 4 months later i contacted him for closure ( i don’t know why i left it that long, i thought he would come back) as I had really given my heart and life away to this guy for 2 years and brought into his words of the whole “future us.” He said he couldn’t tell me that he didn’t love me or didn’t want to be with me because he did but he wasnt ready for monogamy or sure he wanted marriage. Why didn’t he talk to me about this before disappearing? I know im that girl who doesn’t get it, forgive me, Ive never felt so wanted (when we were together) and really paid attention to, the connection and chemistry is explosive and all his work mates and mine thought the same. We’ve bumped into eachother since then a number of times as we work nearby and everytime its still there, he saw me about 2 months ago and textd saying “of all the times you stop wondering about us, why do i start asking myself about everything” and about 4 weeks ago he asked to be friends even though he had moved in with his ex. I turned it down via email because friends was too painful for me and i told him that he had lost my trust and had no loyalty or respect for me since he hadn’t even made an effort for us to resolve or meet to fix things. I read above that you think they play victim, but in life, when you screw up with someone you cant live without, friends or more, you fight for them, or is that just me?
Chris what am i doing? I want him back because i feel so alone even with a million people around me, after a number of dates and i miss him and our conversations, but he left and he thought that he couldn’t give me what i deserved and was a jackass for not at least telling me he was out. I’m a girl who has her life together, looks good, honest to a T and yet he went back to a girl who doesn’t want to physical, makes him feel like crap and that he has lied to constantly while he has told me everything. I’m at a loss. Is he just a player who likes cheating and happy to stay that way? Or do i go after him? I work in a corporate male industry, i know men and despite the above downfall i like how i feel when im with him and I want that back. I’m open to whatever your thoughts are. For the record i also never slept with him, call it morals but i thought until he was properly with me he couldn’t have that and ive been blaming myself ever since for not giving it to him as you guys receive love through that. Thoughts on that too would be great.
Sorry for the novel, Sarah
Sarah
February 9, 2015 at 9:12 am
yes i reread this, retract the “i know men” lol i meant ive met a lot of them and im just not that interested in many of them.
Mona
February 9, 2015 at 2:32 am
I was with my boyfriend for 2 years. We had a mature adult relationship. However, we both have been divorced twice and my boyfriend decided that he would not marry again…well this did not go over well with me because I want to get married.
I was not looking at now, but maybe in 2 years or so. Everytime I mentioned where the relationship was headed we would get into an argument. Well, he decided after 2 years to finally tell me that he had made a decision about our relationship–to break it off because we did not want the same things and there was no need to drag it out any longer.
He told me that I was the best woman that he had in his adult life and it was a very difficult decision to make.
Well, 1 day into the break up, he called to check up on me. He talked as if nothing happened. We hung up and I have not heard from him since. It has been 4 weeks.
I am not contacting him. I feel that however long it takes for him to call…let it be. I was very good to this man and if he wants to contact me he will.
Your thoughts