What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Sarah

January 23, 2015 at 10:18 pm

Hey Chris just another question, how many days do you leave bw your first message to him after the no contact period and each one after that? Like 3 or 4 days or a whole week?

admin

January 26, 2015 at 2:31 pm

1 to 2 days.

Lana

January 23, 2015 at 5:32 am

What if your ex is in a new relationship already? I’ve spent five years with my ex and recently he told me he has a new partner. Which I wasn’t cool with it. We broke up like a month ago, and yet I did felt like he wasn’t affected by it since he seemed aloof (but I wouldn’t say that because I don’t know how he really feels) So, we has history together for that long so I don’t think he would forget about it that easily. And we were able to hold down a long distance relationship for that long. I’ve started to no contact rule too recently so I hope this would give him some kind of wake up call to him. Is there any other advice you could give me?

admin

January 23, 2015 at 4:37 pm

He rebounded?

Mary

January 23, 2015 at 5:29 am

I did the no contact rule for 30 days, he didn’t contact me. i didn’t contact him…4 months later he did email me, I ask him what he was doing back here again. Then told him, that I didn’t want to talk to him.. again another no contact rule .. 30 days.. then when we hadn’t talked for 6 months , I wrote a email to him.. telling him that I wished him luck on his life, and told him that i was sorry for everything I did in the relationship. That I needed the time to heal from the anger and that i needed to understand him, since it was hard for me. He wrote back and he and i are together. Two stubborn people.. but my guess was that it needed to happen this way. i missed him so much, so did he me… now maybe the next time we fight.. we will talk about it.. and not just walk away… good luck to all the women out there. who are trying to get him back.. just don’t be too stubborn.. and chill… relax.. take one day at a time..
Sarah

January 23, 2015 at 4:20 am

I’m up to day 17.. He’s sent me 2 snapchats in the last week which would have gone to other people I assume.. But he never used to send them to me when we were together.. Do u consider that contact on his behalf and possibly missing me?

admin

January 23, 2015 at 4:33 pm

I consider that contact yes.

JP

January 22, 2015 at 9:08 pm

Hi, I have been having trouble with my fiance. We have a great relationship and we always talk about our future, kids, wedding, etc. He is enlisting in the military soon and he is afraid I will not be able to handle him being gone. The other day he started to sob, I’ve never seen him cry that hard. He said I’m smothering him and of course I begged him to stay with me and it did not work. We left on ok terms. The next day he texted me and told me he got me a job interview at this spa I’ve been wanting to work at. He said he was doing ok and that we could meet up the next day to talk and that he still loves me. The next day we saw each other and it was like we never broke up. He kept complimenting me and calling me babe like he always has. We joked around a lot, held hands, and laughed, but he would not let me kiss him or anything. I asked him if we could talk about what happened and he said yes which is weird for him since he doesn’t like to talk about his feelings. So I told him I was going to give him space and work on myself and told him that I would do whatever it takes to make the relationship right. He said ok and that he wanted to take things slow, no kissing or sex. He told me he would call me but he has not contacted me in about 4 or 5 days. He changed his pics on facebook but it still says that we are engaged. I’m not sure if that means anything. The most he has done is like my status on facebook about getting the job he helped me with. Im not sure if he is testing me to see how long I can go without messaging him. I don’t know if he is trying to teach me a lesson and have me realize what I have been doing wrong. I’ve been doing everything I’m supposed to, going to the gym, got a job, starting school soon, and most importantly not contacting him, I’ve been giving him space but I don’t know whats going on. I would really like to know what I should do next. Should I keep waiting or should I contact him. I don’t want to make the wrong decision because he is the love of my life and I don’t want to lose him. Please help me if you can.

admin

January 23, 2015 at 4:17 pm

So, he called of the engagement?
JP

January 24, 2015 at 9:15 pm

I forgot to mention he is going into the military in a few months. I know I can wait for him and be able to handle him being gone but he think that I won’t be able to handle it. We spoke yesterday but it was just about a bill from the apartment. Not sure where we stand plz help.
JP

January 23, 2015 at 5:48 pm

It still says we are engaged on social media sites and he hasn’t asked for the ring back so I’m not sure. He said he wanted to take things slow, but we aren’t even moving.

Annabel

January 15, 2015 at 2:57 am

Hi Chris, my boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago after dating for 3 years. We had always talked about our future, making plans with us and our kids ( we each had one from a previous relationship). But when it came to us talking about moving in together he would always avoid the topic. We finally broke up when he told me he couldn’t see us living together because his ex (mother of his child) had broke both their hearts when she cheated and moved out. He said he couldn’t go through that again, but that he was happy with us continuing to be ‘friendly’. He has since texted me a couple times during no contact, asking how I was and how my child was enjoying being back at school. I haven’t contacted him back though. I’m not sure if he wants to get back together or if he just feels guilty for how things ended? Should I contact him after no contact? Thanks!
Anye

January 13, 2015 at 1:19 pm

please reply…

Anye..

admin

January 19, 2015 at 3:39 pm

Okay!

How can I help?

Anye

January 8, 2015 at 9:25 pm

Hi Chris,
I had the World’s most understanding and loving bf. It was the first relationship I ever had but I wasn’t the first for him. You name a quality that one would look in a soul mate and he had it. We belong to two different cultures, I am Turkish and he is German. And of course, I have serious issues with my family about this. But he always respected my restrictions. Whenever he used to have a fight, I always used to propose splitting which he hated the most. He used to say that I always run away from problems. Last week, we had a fight and again I hit the weakest nerve and asked him to split our ways. This is how I kill my beautiful relationship. I apologized, I begged but he said that I am not ready for a meaningful relationship and we are not made for each other. I know its all my fault but I have realised my mistake. I realised that I tortured him emotionally. But now I have decided to change myself for good. He is too headstrong and decided not to be together again. What should I do? I was immature but I heartily love him and he knows it. He is indeed the best thing ever happened to me.

Please help.

Best,
Anye

admin

January 19, 2015 at 3:17 pm

I think this is the ideal situation for the no contact rule.

Heather

January 8, 2015 at 9:02 pm

We were together for almost 2 years. Long distance. Had plans to move in together in September. We started arguing a lot and he would get mad and block me on his phone. He would still call but I couldn’t call him. I asked him not to do it again and he did. So I didn’t answer when he called. He sent a text saying I tried to call you, you didn’t answer, hits a done deal, your choice not mine. I didn’t respond. I’m on day 20 of NC and still haven’t heard from him. I feel like maybe it’s what he wanted? He even blocked me on FB. What do I do??

admin

January 19, 2015 at 3:16 pm

Well, remember sometimes it takes you making the first move after NC to get hi mback.

Ava

January 8, 2015 at 7:33 pm

My boyfriend of 3 years and I just broke up 2 days ago. We were actually engaged for awhile. He says he needs time for himself and to focus on his music career. He says he loves me but didn’t know if he’s as in love with me as before because I was not appreciative to him. He says he does want to marry me we just need time. He does want to be friends because he could feel like he’s ready to be with me again at some point. Should I try the no contact rule? What should I do after the no contact rule?

admin

January 19, 2015 at 3:12 pm

You absoulutely should!

B

January 5, 2015 at 9:09 pm

My ex boyfriend and I broke 7 weeks ago. We talked about once a week since then until I stumbled upon this site. I started NC a week ago. He says he doesn’t see us getting married and he wants to be friends but he doesn’t want to lead me on to think there’s a chance of us getting back together. Because of that, I don’t think there is any chance he is going to contact me. Will NC still work if we talked occasionally for over a month after we broke up? And after NC when I contact him, I feel like he will respond but only because he’ll think I’m over it and we can be friends. What are your thoughts on this?

admin

January 6, 2015 at 2:01 pm

Yes it will still work.

jiya

December 30, 2014 at 10:49 am

Hey chris!!
I got my ex backkk finallyyy 😀 we are having the time of our life . Thanks to you. There is just one problem he never gives me his fb password .. yesterday we had a fight over it and he gave me his password for awhile but when i told him that i opened his id he got all mad and changed his password again. I dont know what is his problem . Should i force him again for the password ?

admin

January 5, 2015 at 2:47 pm

Ok, you should even ask him for his password.

This is a blatant way of showing him that you don’t trust him.
jiya

January 6, 2015 at 8:33 pm

Okayy . But he gave me his password now cux i didnt talk to him for 2 days :p i think its okay to ask for the password . The boy shudnt hide anything from his girl.
admin

January 7, 2015 at 5:26 am

Well, if thats your agreement in your relationship good for you!
jiya

February 11, 2015 at 2:21 am

Heyy chris. I juss wanted to share that me nd my ex bf whos luckily now again my present bf nowadays we are fighting alot. Basically i get really mad if he doesnt return back or answer my calls .. we went on a date few days ago nd it was good but didnt go the way i imagined so i disscussed wid my bf abt it today the things he messed up that day .. he got pissed at me . And we fought again 🙁 but it always seems like i m the one whos is fighting.. 🙁 i dont want to but i get extremely mad at times and we start arguing. Any help or advice ?
admin

February 11, 2015 at 2:08 pm

Well, whats the big deal if he doesn’t return your calls right away?

Does he not return them at all?
jiya

March 26, 2015 at 2:50 pm

Heyy chris. He does reply to my calls sometimes when he feels like talking himself. Anyway i have a new issue to share. Week ago we had a fight over a useless thing he almost broke up with me but then some how i convinced him to come baq and start over. Everything was going normal but now all of a sudden his attitude is changed he just replies to my texts thats it.that lovey dovey part is not there anymore which upsets me when i ask him what is wrong he says nothing just give me a break and he doesnt feel like talking to me :/ i m treating him with so much love right now but i feel its useless :/ what i am supposed to do? Plz do reply 🙁

Candace

December 21, 2014 at 6:23 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex and I have been broken up for about 6 weeks now. He broke up with me because his work and school like were overwhelming, and at the time I wasn’t helping alleviate the stress. At first I wasn’t handling the no contact too well, and contacted him twice on two separate occasions (never asking or begging to get back together). But after then, I hadn’t spoken to him for 3 and a half weeks before contacting him again, and the response was fairly positive. We joked and caught up;I told him I agreed with the breakup. The conversation lasted for two days before I ended it. I know he still cares for me, he checks up on me and still wears all the sentimental things I bought him. However, I’m not sure where to go from here. I don’t know what he’s thinking or whether he wants me back, and I’m starting to feel a little self conscious about texting him first 3 times. Should I just wait for him to text me, or text him fist again? And when we do talk, how do I get into talking about what happened between us, because we’ve never discussed that?
monica

December 15, 2014 at 10:25 pm

Hey Chris,
My long distance boyfriend broke up with me on 6th dec. For 1.5 years we were in a relantionship. One year in college and 5 months long distance after college, as we moved in different states because of the job. Well, we were planning to meet on feburary but he broke up with me saying that he can’t handle long distance relantionship anymore. We both parted ways on a decent note. But there is a certain feeling which makes me miss him. We haven’t talked since the breakup. I have blocked him from every kind of social network. I know its a bit immature from my side. Do you think so we still have a chance of getting back together? My friends tell me that he misses me too because of his social network status and images which appears to be lonely.
Kayla

December 15, 2014 at 8:59 pm

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago,we were together for a year and lived together for 10 months and i have only just started the no contact. But during the last week we were together he was talking to another girl and hooked up with her when he was with me and is now dating her, will he miss me if i don’t contact him and hes with another girl?
Also he is going through a very difficult time with losing two family members in only a couple of months, hes not dealing with anything, could this play a part in him breaking it off with me? hes just overwhelmed and wants to do what he wants and have space? hes not dealing with his emotions and i feel he could be using this girl as a distraction but then he seems happy with her?
Anonymous

December 15, 2014 at 7:03 pm

Hi Chris!

My BF and I dated for 6 months; the first 4 were amazing. Gifts, trips, flowers, everything was perfect. Then around month 4 we started to have small problems. Basically, I was not able to help him with something he needed help on and even though I apologized, he continued to hold it against me. When this happened I did everything I possibly could to be the best gf ever. Gifts, attention, time- you name it. I even asked him to go away with me for a few days so that we could reconnect. Instead he went on a getaway with his friends. I told him his actions hurt me and I decided to back off so that he could get some space and come to me. We hung out after that but it wasn’t the same; we just continued to grow apart. Each time I would ask him how he felt about us, he would reply that he just didn’t know. Finally, one night I asked him how he felt as I could not stay in limbo anymore. He claimed that I was pressuring him and that he wasn’t sure he wanted the same things anymore. I explained that was not my intention, at which point he said I was still pushing him and that it was best the he opt out. That was on 12/3; I immediately went into NC. On 12/17 it will be two weeks since the break up and 2 weeks of NC. I have not heard from him at all..I want to talk to him, repair things and try to work it out. What do I do?!?!
Nicole

December 15, 2014 at 2:41 pm

My bf and I have been off and in for 3 years. The “off” would only last a couple of days and I initiated the breakups. He snaps easily and over pretty things. I get so frustrated and hole for change. I love him and miss him like crazy. A lot of crying and despair. Within a couple of days of our breakup,he is already song somebody else. Will no contact cause him to get closer to this girl?
andrea

December 15, 2014 at 6:38 am

my ex and i dated was 3 going on 4…high school sweethearts you can say..this guy soo incredible he would bend over backwards for me and then we lost our spark some times and i cheated on him by talking to guys. never physically but talking bc i missed the attention he used to give me..anyway i feel terrible now that he is gone and i just wish i could get one more change to show him that I KNOW HE IS THE ONE!! i love him soo much and it breaks my heart to even think that he could be with someone else..i just want him to be happy and successful in whatever he does. i love him soo much and hope that if we dont work out i will put on the best fake smile for him so he can be happy.

ANYWAY: broke up nov 3rd i got really clingy then gave space then he asked me out on a date..never herd from date so then i got reallly desperate sent long txt mssgs and ask what can i do to show you ive changed u can have all my passwords and etc.. i love you i always will..etc. i asked if i was loosing him he said no hes just really busy with work and at a good place right now. he is not talking to anyone or dating anyone..ALTHOUGH he is txting and snapping this girl….ah 🙁
but started no contact dec 4th…its now 14th… I THINK HES STUBBORN and i know hes hurt….so i just pray that he contacts me..i think he misses me just hes hurt and his pride wont let him. please any advice. i just changed my fbook to ask and my picture of us to me and my friend on fbook.. he changed his right away but then we kept talking..so idk! i hope im not snapping everyone like story and posting too much on fbook for him not to need to contact me… i love him soo much and would do anything to get him back in my life again..i know i dont need him just i miss him and what we had. it hurts soo much…

HOW do i contact him since like christmas..should i no say merry christmas? and i want to contact him like the 29th bc januray 1st he leaves the state to go to texas and work for a month..so i want to say something before he leaves..WHAT DO I SAY WHEN I TXT HIM…since i cheated i dont really want to say anything bad that would bring up bad memories…

HELP PLZ-ANDREA
Cassidy

December 11, 2014 at 2:00 am

Hi, thank you for what you’re doing, Chris! My ex-boyfriend and I were together unofficially for a year (kissing, cuddling, holding hands, basically the ‘not a couple couple’) and officially for almost 11 months. I was having some major personal problems for a month and a half before our breakup that stressed both he and I out, and I realized that his presence in my life was causing some of those problems (fights and stuff), and for that reason, my feelings for him had started to fade. He noticed and brought up in a worried way that he thought I was growing distant from him, and because of that and my own retreating feelings from him, he started to put his walls up and lose feelings for me too in order to protect himself. After I tried to initiate the breakup and failed, I told him I wanted space and that we needed to take a break. A few days later, we talked and mutually broke up, him saying the actual break up words and I agreed–i said my feelings had changed and that I was still angry over some of the things he had done in our relationship that I found to be unacceptable, and he said that his feelings had changed and that he didn’t think he loved me. I’m assuming he meant that he didn’t love me anymore and not just in general because he was very dedicated to me in the relationship so it doesn’t seem to make sense that he never loved me at all, especially because he’s very selective with who he dates and he was serious about our relationship through and through. When we broke up, he said he wanted to be friends but that he needed time first (didn’t say how long), and he even joked about how ironic it would be if we got back together in a year and told everyone we were just taking a break. I asked him if I could text him and he said sure, but that we couldn’t hang out one on one together for awhile. Instead of texting him like I thought I was going to, I immediately went into NC, and through it I’ve started to miss him a lot in my life, especially because we were very close friends before we dated, and I thought doing NC would cause him to feel the same. I’ve been deep in NC since without breaking it even once — for about 40 days now and I have done a lot of self-improvement since in the looks and mentality department to achieve that “ungettable girl” aesthetic. I feel very confident and assured now, things I was lacking before the breakup and I know he has noticed in a lot of ways. The only thing is is that he hasn’t contacted me either because he knows I’m ignoring him and so he’s ignoring me back and it’s making me paranoid that maybe he’ll never reach out. We see each other out very frequently because we live nearby and frequent the same places and he’s with his friends and I’m always with mine. The first two times I saw him a week or two after the breakup I pretended not to notice him, but he stared at me from afar very obviously with this very sad look on his face when he thought I didn’t notice, and he kept that up for a long while while I laughed and talked with my friends nearby (it just looked like a look of regret and longing) and it was the first time he saw my new and improved look/outfit style. The third time I saw him, he was walking with a female friend of his that I don’t know very well while I was walking with my friend, and as he walked past the both of us, he waved and said hello to us. I didn’t say anything back or wave because I couldn’t tell if he was trying to shove the fact that he was with a girl one on one in my face to try to make me jealous, or to “one-up” me from before when I cleaned up my look and got more attractive and more confident or if since we made legitimate eye contact this time he was just trying to be friendly and reach out instead of flat out ignoring me. Then a week ago pictures went up on Facebook of a dance a few of my friends and I went to, and even though I was in every single one of the pictures, he “liked” them all despite our current awkward relationship and I saw that as him trying to reach out, too, but indirectly.

What does all of this mean? And should I push the NC to 60 days and then contact him if he doesn’t contact me? I know from personal experience that he’s a very stubborn guy and he’s said before that if someone ignores him, despite how much he wants to reach out, he can bite back the urge, but I’m banking on the fact that he can’t hold out forever especially if I keep up what I’m doing. What do you think?

admin

December 15, 2014 at 5:18 am

Kissing/Cuddling sounds pretty offical to me.

I think you should just to do the 30 day NC.

priyanka.

December 10, 2014 at 2:31 am

Hi m priyanka i had a relation of not that long only for few months we met in very strange way i mean i was with my friend it was indepndnt day so in q resturant we were siting n having sanwich n some cold drinks all of a sudden a group of guys came n they sat on the same seat where we were sitting one among those guy one of them was my friend so i was talking to him n my friend she started talking with him (phurba)hez name is phurba n he so drunk so i didnt bother him much my friend was bussy makin him realize that thet both studied in the same school n he was unable to recall her but all of a sudden he turned towardz me n said i know this girl i was shocked i just smiled as i didnt wanted him to talk with me cox i didnt like him at all but he continued pointing me saying i know and ur history saying that m a married girl and i have a kid too which was imbarcing moment there were hell lot of people then i tried to console him that maybe m not that girl still he wad stuck and latr on he turnd so wierd he actally wanted to bit me for he was loosing with his arguement so i left that place coudnt resist him i hated him like anything latr on one person i knew he knew that guy n the very next day he appolozied with me still i hated him and then it was over after a week we again met and that time the senario was better i started some feeling towards him suddenly n that was cute we exchanged numbers started chatting then planned out we met and we started calling baby automatically n decided to stay in relation as we both were single it was goin soo good we made love that part was awesme and then i had to come to delhi for an interview so was staying at my friends place he use to call me text me care for me all of a sudden he changed still dont knew the actal reagion he startd flurting with my friend to hurt me i bared we had no contact i was so hurt but he use to call me and fight with me he abused me i left for my job n changed my no but i knew hez birthday was coming nearer so i called him to wish him still there he was happy but again started argueing with me he said he made new girl so i did not react i pretend asif i was happy for him so he then got pissd again n fighting with me so i cut of the phone again he called me and i did not pic up he acted so crazy he was continously calling me i kept my phone on silent n slept off angain the next day he was cool and he asked me for a gift so i had promised him that id gift him so i gifted him a nice watch n tshirt with our pics but he was soo rude he said he only liked the watch he didnt like the tshrt so he torn n therw it off i was literllty crying when he said this at my face then i realized he never loved me so i dont know he torn the tshrt or not but he torn my heart so i did not say anything i did not reply back i dicied to show him so i met one guy named ben so i went on a date with him n clicked a picture with hin huging eachother but i hide his face and i kept as my display picture seeing that he messged me saying did u delete his picture i did not reply he called also but i kept him on wating n never called him back i did this just to show him that even i can move on.but actually i love him only m not really intrested on my new guy but m afraid if in this no contact rule he must be bussy with his new girl if he never comes back what should i do please help i love phurba and want him back anyhow please.

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2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”