What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Baby

October 6, 2014 at 8:43 pm

Hi, thank you so much for writing such a wonderful guide, i was so down but after reading ur guide i feel much better. here is my problem, we dated 4 months and then we got married and finally we’re divorced after 8 months. In this 8 months, he had been living a secret life from his family, whereby none of his family members know that we’re married, except for people in his working place. After 3 months of marriage, i found out that he was chatting with a russian woman he met at the hotel where he work as a receptionist, he claimed that he only went out once with her and no sex happened (he repeatedly claimed that he hadn’t cheated on me that far). Even though at the end of their conversation ends up with i love you from him, he claimed that he just wrote that to peak her interest into talking with him. I didn’t scolded him at all, in fact i stayed calm, and treated him nicely like normally, and apparently this reverse psychology got to him good, he had this nearly crying face when i bathed him that night, when i wore him his socks before he went to work and he looked at me as if he was almost crying before he left the house that night. Few days later, he told me he broke it off with that woman and i never talked about it ever again.

After a month, i got pregnant, he got really scared that his family will know, he threatened to leave me if i will not do an abortion. I refused, we quarreled badly, but he kept coming everyday to persuade me to do so (i also learned that he apparently got advised by his besftfriend into aborting this baby since he is so young, lame and irresponsible excuse!) I got upset so i told an acquaintance to call his family and inform them about everything. He got so upset with me, but still coming over to persuade me to abort the baby. On the 2nd day, he came while i was sleeping, held my hands and when i opened my eyes i saw his almost crying face, and he said that he wants nothing more than to start over with me from the beginning. And i asked what if i will not abort the baby? He said I don’t care anymore, i just want to start over with you and he hugged me. And then i told him the truth that I actually had miscarriage the baby yesterday. I thought he will leave me, but he didn’t. He stayed with me until i went back to my parents for a holiday 2 months later.

1st week, he called and texted me saying how much he misses me and how empty his life is without me. In second week, we quarreled and he again, wants a divorce (he has been asking divorce on and off since before i caught him cheating). I told him that i am pregnant for the second time, and he refused to believe me and insist on a divorce. I did a NC 1st stage 1 week he contacted me and started saying mean things again so i went into NC again for 3 weeks, and finally i called him and we talked. I had a miscarriage for the 2nd baby on that day and i was so depressed, we quarreled on the phone and we ended up divorced on that day. I said mean things about his beloved sister and his mom i called them a b*tch since they know about my situation the miscarriage and so on but they did nothing especially his sister who had met with me few times and she loves me, she did not texted me at all asking how am i doing. He obviously was so upset, and ended up saying to me that he only saw me as a prostitute all this while (please take note in his language, bitch and hooker uses the same word).

On that day i sent a text to his sister, explained everything to her and she was shocked apparently they all thought the news on the baby was fake. I was so upset and ever since then i nvr contacted him again. Until i return back to my home (which was 2 weeks after the divorce), my bestfriend called him a day before that telling him that i will come tomorrow, and he ended up asking my bff did i talked about him? When my bff said no, he sounded shocked and upset as if he couldn’t believe that I didn’t mentioned about him at all.

I came back, my bff told me that apparently when i was away, he always came to my house to stay here alone (he actually lives with his parents, since his parents don’t know we’re married, he always made the back and forth trip everyday). According to my bff, he also drank a lot when i wasn’t around my house was practically littered with empty alcoholic bottle. Once he even came in the morning (my bff was using our washing machine as hers broke down) and brought a bottle of wine with him and started drinking in the morning before going to work. When my bff asked him why is he doing this, he just said that he officially turned into an alcoholic this summer (while i was away). According to my bff it seems like he was trying to drown his own sorrow.

Ever since i came back, i nvr contacted him nor texted him except after 1st week, i called him by mistakes, i was so drowsy, and called him by mistake. Thinking that the other party didn’t pick up, i closed the line and then another call came in immediately so i picked up thinking it was the same person. Apparently I called him wrongly he didn’t picked up at 1st, but decided to call me immediately after the line went off and then he told me i called him by mistake. Upon hearing his name, i just closed the line and stay NC and it has been two weeks ever since.

Few days ago my bff told me, he called my bff, asking if she knows a place to rent (BS over here, as we’re both foreigners in this country, the one that can find houses easily would be him since he is the native here, not us!) And he even made a stupid offer to my friend, saying that since she is looking for a flatmate, what if he stay with her?(this is so stupid, since 3 of us are bff since before we were a couple, he knows that she will not accept him in, plus she is living with another girl, and she has trust issues with the man from this country! plus he is divorced from me, and he knows well that i will go there all the time, I even sleep over there sometimes?) When my bff said no, he said really? not even me? Then he started asking about me again. He asked how am i doing and did i talked about him to her. My bff told him that i am doing fine, and i am finally letting it go and accepting the fact that we r divorced. My bff told him that she said if you want to come back you are welcome and if you don’t want to, that’s ok too as she already accepting it and moving on. He seemed to be listening at 1st then he started a fake laugh and saying things like really she already moved on? Really she is forgetting me already? Does she told you why we r divorced? When my bff said to him that I don’t know why we r divorced and it doesn’t matter as I had move on, again he fake a laugh before he ended the talk. Basically, since i came back, he asked about me to my bff a day before i came back, i called him by mistake after a week i returned, he called and asked my friend few things before he finally asked about me a week after that. And now a week had passed since that. Please also be informed that we quarreled once and not talking for 4 days back then (that was the longest we did NC back then) and during those times, he talked to my bff about me everytime he saw her and he even said stuff like he misses me.

So I don’t know what should I do now, I am so heartbroken with his irresponsible attitude (losing 2 babies, and he refused to believe the 2nd baby, not wanting to defend me against his family as his wife and the cheating that he did). I don’t even know if I still love him or not, but everytime I remember our moments together, it brings tears to my eyes. And guess what, the day he called my friend? I actually dreamt of him that night. And my bff only told me about it few days after. Please advise me what should I do?

admin

October 7, 2014 at 1:46 pm

Ok, its really important that you determine if in the long run he is the best for you. With his actions so far… I am not sure thats the case.
Baby

October 7, 2014 at 10:03 pm

I don’t even know how I feel towards him anymore, but I am not sure about his weird behaviors lately either? It’s like he wants to come back but too ego to lick his own spit? Is it just me or it does seems like that? I know you said that he might not be the best for me in the long run, but FYI this guy is only 20 yrs old. He never leaves his parents house, never lives on his own, probably the only decision he ever made for himself was marrying me in secret. I just need to know if his actions actually shows that he has the potential of coming back, to accept him or not, I have yet to make that decision, depending on how remorse he will be or whether he can turn into a new leaf.

jiya

October 6, 2014 at 8:00 pm

Hey !!! I m going through this breakup trauma third time because of the same person.after all those break ups he still managed to come back when he moved to some other city for further studies because he had difficulty in adjusting there so he missed me nd needes me but as soon as his university got started he broke up with me . I have heard he says that getting again into relationship was his mistake he juss wanna time pass and enjoy his life at the moment. I am in nc with him from a month. What should i do ?

admin

October 7, 2014 at 1:43 pm

Who broke up with who may I ask?
jiya

October 9, 2014 at 8:18 pm

He broke up with me. He is always the one who breaks up not me !!
jiya

October 11, 2014 at 4:06 am

I need your help man :/
admin

October 13, 2014 at 3:35 pm

Me? How can I help?
jiya

October 15, 2014 at 7:10 pm

I need you to guide me in this situation… after nc rule now i started talkin to my ex but but but i m the only one who initiates the chat always i msg him after 2 or 3 days !! I think its just the beginning may b thats why :/ he responds positively to whatever i say him !! What to do next ? Idk if he still has feelings for me or he has moved on !!

jessica

October 4, 2014 at 2:27 am

Hey there ,sooo I’m doing the nc and I’m confused.
When we broke up and had a normal talk after the damage was done he would say stuff like you look so good you can have any guy.
or I really thought we would be having kids togheter ..
god that was Awh full now why would he say that?
he did reach out during nc just asking what sup and warned me about his co worker Who could reach out to me ,aldo he didn’t really tell him I was single to protect me he said and some question about the car I was looking for. So I respond like that I’m good hope he was fine to and I have no interest in his co worker and what car I was looking for. So than he texted me back that he and our dogs or as he calls them the girls are good and to bad cus he liked the other car.so i just said glad your doing fine .what to does it mean? It’sso random his mom also texted me to see how i been doing and he still text with my brother even asking him to a party while he knows iI’m around my brother a lot and he hase his own friends so why he reached out to my brother? , i know they get along but i live an hour away from him so does my brother .I’m so confused help

admin

October 6, 2014 at 11:42 am

Hes a guy he doesn’t really think how his comments affect you he is just being selfish and probably wants to feel wanted by you…
jessica

October 7, 2014 at 1:55 am

Can you tell me what his text messages ment ? Cus he did reach out but it was so random, and he still texts with my brother aldo they don’ttalk about me.. I just can’t get my head around it he loved me so deeply he hase even a tat of my body on him ,said stuff like I would be the mother of his childeren he said i was the one..know i messed up cus i got insecure and out of line but,were 28 and 29 years old this was his first time in a long relationship and both our first time living together..i was an ug and let insecurity ruin me ..your words make so much sense i agnolish i had problems ..but i can’t believe that this is it ..I’m doing the nc now ..do you have some tips left for me chris cus i really find this eye opening

Madison

October 3, 2014 at 11:06 pm

Hey Chris,

I just wanted to let you know how helpful and reassuring this site has been 🙂 Your guide is thoroughly explained and extremely simple. I’m not sure why all these women continue to comment and leave their endless stories, as if their situation is an exception. It’s kind of embarrassing to be a member of the female population given the epidemic of low self-esteem. So many friends, myself included, have fallen victim to our lack of self-worth and ended up settling for crappy boyfriends. In nearly every single one of these cases, the man deserved to be dumped. Especially those who were cheated on. That’s unforgivable. Everytime. No exception. A man who loves you and respects you would NEVER be with someone else. I can’t comprehend the rationalization these poor women come up with. We deserve better and the fact that so many women make men the center of their universe is beyond sad. Sitting by the phone for days, crying and putting their whole life on pause over someone who doesn’t care at all really. I admire your patience and understanding. The comments are just so damn redundant lol! No contact for 30 days, after 30 days you may contact him. End of story. Ladies, your stories are no different! Be strong and focus on yourselves. Independent women are sexy! No one wants a pathetic loser who can’t function without a man’s text. Also, why did you break up with him in the first place? If you want him to come crawling back, that’s the definition of a head game. If it’s meant to be, you wouldn’t have felt the need to break up with him. I’m going through ‘No Contact’ myself, and after reading through this site I realized I’m one of thousands upon thousands of women who finally found the strength to leave my boyfriend because he didn’t deserve me. He was causing more hurt than happiness. Now I’m depressed and lonely. I miss him so much and don’t know what to do. I’m faltering and want him back. I feel must’ve made a mistake. I’d rather be with him and be somewhat happy, than alone. All these stories have led me to take a step back and say wow, we all need to move on! Yea, they should miss us because they know they lost a good thing. The right man won’t put you in a position to have to break up with him. As for the women pining away over their ex boyfriends who broke up with them, the message is even more crystal clear. Move on! He doesn’t want to be with you and you don’t wanna be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you! Your self-esteem is hurting even far worse than the reverse scenario 🙁 You’ve gotta love yourself before someone else can. Relationships can be tough and take a lot of compromise but deep down you know when you can do better. We all need time to be sad, heal and work on ourselves. However, celebrate No Contact! 7.2 billion people on the planet… One of those men is the right man for you. Go get him 🙂

Thanks again Chris for completely refreshing my perspective on this whole thing. I feel so much better already. No reason to be pathetic and worry. I won’t ever have to engage in No Contact with the right man 🙂

Iknowbetter

October 10, 2014 at 1:54 am

Thanks Madison!:) you are so right about “I won’t ever have to engage in No Contact with the right man”. Now it’s just getting my heart to follow and the memories of when we were together to follow that logic. Stupid emotions!!:)
Also, it’s funny cause I know what’s best for me, but my heart does not understand:(
admin

October 6, 2014 at 11:39 am

Thats pretty much what I am trying to explain to people.

Hahaha you hit it right on the head.

Natalie

October 3, 2014 at 9:00 pm

My situation started about 7 months ago. Within the 7 months there have been many good times with him being persistent on spending as much time as possible with me, very complimentary and honestly I haven’t had as much fun with anyone else like I did him. About 4 months in is when the first fall out happened because he felt as if we were more on a friend level due to me being guarded and lack of intimacy. I was the one with the HUGE ego unfortunately. After pouring his heart out and telling me how unwanted he felt he backed off and though he would reply to my texts as a courtesy I knew he shut me out emotionally. So, for the first time in my entire life, my wall came down and I spilled my heart out to him. After going back and forth we reconciled and kid you not, he text me that night a hello and sole intention of just checking in and making small talk. I heard from him every day for the next few weeks, but once again my wall went up and I didn’t make time for him causing him to retract again. We played the entire cycle over again with him taking me back and finally he said he just can’t see us being anything more than friends. That is when he utilized the NC rule on me. As an idiot a week in I sent the “I miss you” text with no reply. At that point I made a promise to myself that I would not reach out anymore. Now he and I frequent the same gym, which he has a different gym he can go to, but no, he was there M-F at the same time as me and I ignored him (of course noticing in the mirrors he would look at me when he thought I didn’t see him). Between me ignoring him every single day in person and no other forms of contact being made, he reach out exactly 14 days from the start of NC. Now this is where it became really interesting. He reached out in a normal way, mid day on a Sunday. Now sex was never part of the equation with us because of how up and down we became, but he knows exactly what to say to make me mad and get a reaction. This text message was him asking if I wanted to fool around. I made the mistake of giving him short yet polite responses, but after saying no I receive an apology for bothering me and to forget it ever occurred. I just ended it with “Hope you’re good” and I received a “Thanks, take care!”. The next day (Monday) we happened to run into each other and since it would have been a completely awkward ignore given I HAD to walk by him to leave, I gave a quick “Hi” and dismissed myself from the conversation. Now he was surprisingly warm to me and noticed I didn’t seem like myself (I was battling a cold), made small talk while smiling blah blah blah. After that I see him yesterday (Thursday) and he acts like he’s pulling the NC rule again. I know I kind of broke it given the circumstances, but I have not actually reached out to him except for the one incident in person. What gives???

admin

October 6, 2014 at 11:37 am

Maybe he was trying to wait and see if you would reach out to him
Natalie

October 6, 2014 at 10:18 pm

From the little bit I’ve shared regarding his behavior does it seem he could still be interested? Yes he reached out, but the way he did it was very rude and disrespectful which is very confusing for him to act like that if he cared.

Jaimee

October 3, 2014 at 7:37 pm

Hey there, so here’s my story. I’ve been with my ex since November of 2010 on & off a couple of times but this last time we have been together 2 years without break ups. The whole time we have lived together. We have a 6 month old son & i am expecting another baby I am 4 months now. We broke up 2 months ago as I went out of town & during that time he just started ignoring me & we broke up, sometimes we talk due to the baby or yes I am guilty of begging & all that 🙁 unfortunately. He was talking to a girl that is married & has 2 daughters from 2 different guys. & yes i had confronted her & she was insistent that they had nothing yet I found some messages in his fb from her & him with some pictures a little revealing but they didn’t have anything “?” Hmm well so he came over Sunday to see his son & well things got a lil out of control & we had sex. But still nothing was fixed but he did tell me he had unprotected sex with her & he told me so that I would know so nothing affected the baby. He is only supposedly friends with this girl now that they are not doing anything anymore but idk if i should believe that & now he’s a big flirt with other girls on facebook Well after Sunday he hasn’t talked to me & the couple of times he has he’s been very rude. So now I don’t know what to think or do, ant advice that u can give me towards this? I do want him back, I mean almost 5 yrs & now 2 babies I don’t see myself with anyone else right now & i really want to fix things but idk if this is really it. I’m just so confused & I’m ready to give up but in the back of my mind I still have faith that maybe he will regret it & come back with his family.

Jaimee

October 6, 2014 at 11:48 am

Oh also she threw it out there that she’s supposedly getting a divorce that she already sent him the “divorce papers” but that was a comment she made maybe to not look bad.
admin

October 6, 2014 at 11:34 am

So, let me get this straight….

He is having sex with a married girl…. Essentially cheating or helping her cheat on her husband?
Jaimee

October 6, 2014 at 11:46 am

He “was” supposedly they stopped. Is what he’s telling me but she confronted me & she denied everything I’m guessing since she’s married she denied it, but yea that’s my situation now.. what should I do?

KWhe

October 2, 2014 at 4:12 am

I’m currently at 20 days NC, tho technically we are still FB friends, I do no follow him. He has not really told many people, including his mom, oldest brother and many friends. They still comment on my FB page and like things. He didn’t even change his FB status – it’s still “In a relationship.”

Over the two years we were together, he grew distant more and more each day around 1.5 years. He’s incredibly unhappy with his job, and I was as supportive as possible during his tough time. 3 months ago, he told me he wasn’t sure if he loved me any more. He said he cared deeply for me – and I asked if he could be confusing infatuation with love…he didn’t know. We decided not to break up and keep working on it – and while he was in therapy for stress based depression, he didn’t even discuss my broken heart or the relationship. He told me several times to have faith in him over the next two months, but no I love yous. The day after we got back from our two year anniversary trip, I asked him where he stood now. He said he still didn’t know. I asked him to talk to his counselor – and when we met to talk two days later, he told me that he didn’t think he was in love with me anymore.

We were best friends and neither of us could imagine not talking anymore – but he didn’t want to prevent me from healing, so he left the decision in my hands. The next morning I knew I needed NC and texted him that I needed space to heal. I think he’s making a huge mistake – I’m amazing and we were a great fit. I’m just not sure he’ll figure that out soon enough for me.

I planned to reach out to him at 31 days, as we never exchanged our stuff. I’m halfway between feeling like “if he didn’t realize he made a mistake by now, then eff it” and “I miss my best friend.”

I’m heartbroken and torn and while I’m working on me, I know I deserve for someone to tell me that they love me every day. However, I’m having a hard time shaking the feeling that he made a mistake.

admin

October 3, 2014 at 2:42 pm

Take it slow. Don’t give up quite yet. When NC is over you reach out and just follow the plan.

Sometimes you have to make him realize that he made a mistake…

Jessica B

October 2, 2014 at 2:09 am

Hello, I am so happy I came across this blog. My situation is unique. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years now. We have been living together for pretty much the entire time. I noticed pretty soon into the relationship that he has a slight dependecy problem with alcohol. We have had problems with it but he refuses to see he has a problem (and refuses to get help) even though many consequences have happened in result of his drinking. This past July, a pretty terrible incident happened because he was drunk, but he blames me for the whole thing. After four agonizing days of fighting and crying, he finally promised me he wouldn’t drink again. He was doing great and our relationship was never better! Well, he started a month long job out of town Monday-Friday about 3 weeks ago (this is his last week). I felt I really could trust him and even though he was staying with 3 other of his co workers who all drank, I felt that he would refrain. The first couple weeks were fine. I missed him like crazy and so did he. I also started going through a pretty bad family crisis at this time as well, so I was very upset and vulnerable. He knew everything and he empathized with me and I really needed his support. Well, unfortunately he called me this past Monday night absolutely hammered. I was so hurt, let down, betrayed, on top of everything happening with my family. So I am all alone in my house. The next day he basically apologized and said it was because of the circumstances that he did this, and that it would return to normal once he got home (he hates working out of town). I told him that he really hurt me and it was a huge betrayal of my trust. He blame shifted (just how people with dependencies do) and said it was my fault because I was trying to change who he was. I told him I didn’t want to talk to him for a while. He tried calling last night, but I didn’t answer, and he also texted “goodnight, love you”. I did not respond, and haven’t talked to him today either. I thought for sure he’d be crawling back by now, but I do realize he is extremely stubborn. He comes home Friday and I just don’t Know what to do. Keep in mind also we have never gone a day without talking (even on our worst days). I’m always the one to give in, but I really want him to know that I mean business with this and that I won’t cave in. I also am scared that he is drinking nightly out there! So I don’t know what to do… 🙁 help me!

admin

October 3, 2014 at 2:29 pm

Do NC for a bit… he will come crawling back.

He really needs to fix that alcohol habit though…

Julie

October 2, 2014 at 2:02 am

Can you use the new rule more than once with the same guy. He contacted me after 35 days. A few months later he broke up with me again. Thoughts?

admin

October 3, 2014 at 2:25 pm

You mean the NC rule?

What do you mean new rule?

Audrey Kalin

October 1, 2014 at 2:44 am

I have a different situation, I work with a guy that had been liking me for a little more than a year (I didn’t know this). He eventually got a job working directly with me, he said so he could get to know me (he’s shy). We would talk about things and he asked me to send him some links, like YouTube and such. So now he has my number, and he begins texting saying we should hang out sometime. After about three months I finally gave in (he’s not my type at all and he’s younger than me, 23 yrs younger).I already know what you’re thinking, so please spare me, I look much younger than my age, he thought I was 30. I got him to grow out his hair (he always shaved it) and he actually was kinda cute. The more time I spent with him, 3-4 days per week, I really started liking him. He would always take me out (his idea) said he liked taking me out and was trying to take care of me. So 6 months in I find out (from a man) he’s been talking to another girl from work. I’ll admit I was jealous of her, he would bring her up often. I asked if he liked her, he always said no she’s not even my type plus I’m shy I wouldn’t talk to her anyway. So he’s been asking about her for 2-3 months and seeing her for 2-3 weeks. He attempted to avoid me, hoping I’d just go away I guess, but I finally asked (text) if he still wanted to see me and he replied, can we just be friends. My heart dropped. This is the first week of September. A week later I talked to him at work, 4 times that day (cried each time i couldn’t help it), that’s when he told me he was seeing someone else, and Just started the day before, which was a lie. But I haven’t talked to him since, and i haven’t text him since the day he broke up with me. So now I don’t know how to act at work with him, I’ve just been ignoring him and not talking, I wonder how this makes him feel? I wonder if him and the girl will stay together, is this a real relationship since it started while he was seeing me? Is there a chance he would come back? I’m hearing that he didn’t like that I didn’t cook, but I would have if he would’ve spoke up, he said he liked taking me out so I thought that’s what he wanted to do. I was too jealous of that girl, but now I think I must have sensed he really liked her. I’m just confused, and heartbroken, angry,I feel embarrassed, and ashamed. Should I ever contact him after the nc period is over? And if he’s still with that girl, should I contact him. (Also,He is my personnel go to for time off work).

admin

October 1, 2014 at 3:58 pm

23 years younger….

Oh my goodness…

Were you two ever official?
Audrey

October 4, 2014 at 7:19 pm

And he was at my house everyday if we were not working, cutting grass, taking me out to eat and movies, he always spent the night. Sounds like dating too me, what do you think?
Audrey

October 11, 2014 at 10:15 pm

Please remove my postings. I don’t get a response anyway and I know the truth of what’s going on with my man now.
admin

October 13, 2014 at 6:11 pm

Hi Audrey!

I am so sorry I didn’t respond to you. I am actually super busy and didn’t respond to anyone.

How can I help?
Audrey

October 4, 2014 at 2:51 am

He would often say that I was his woman to people at work, one co-worker had a death in the family and everyone was signing a card, as I was signing it he was right there and told me to sign both our names. So it seemed like we were. So how should I act towards him? I’m still ignoring him, but I’m still very hurt and feel queasy when I see him. He’s still with that girl but he don’t know about her or what kind of girl she is, from what people tell me she goes through the men & goes for whoever gives her attention. Should I ever contact him? He does come over to help me some, but that’s his job and he did hand me a paper and spoke like normal, I just took the paper without looking or speaking. And I don’t mean to be that way, but like I said I’m still hurting.

Alia

September 30, 2014 at 8:48 pm

My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years. about 3 months ago it seemed that he wanted to break up and going through personal things as well. He was ignoring me and when I talked to him about it, it seemed that he didn’t feel like we were compatible based on his religious views and my religious views (he is more conservative than I am). He seemed to want to drag it out so I made it easy and we broke up. He said we’ll go on a break, I said we were done. So we have been NC for 12 weeks now. He hasn’t tried to contact me at all! What is my next move????? Do I assume that this is it and move on or should I message him?????

admin

October 1, 2014 at 3:47 pm

CONTACT HIM… its ok to make the first move sometimes.

Amelia

September 30, 2014 at 4:09 am

In August, i met who i thought was the sweetest most perfect guy. I truly thought he was different. I’ve dealt with alot of assholes but he gave me hope in the male population again. For the entire month, he’d take me out,visit me at work and visit on my lunch breaks, buy me lunch without me asking..we live in different cities and he came down (by bus) to come see me, since he doesn’t have a car yet. No one has ever done those types of things for me before. I thought this was about to be my first ever serious relationship and at the time he made it clear that, that is what he wanted. But as soon as school started he became distant even though, we go to the same University ( i only saw him 3 times in the first week and we have all the same breaks..)
Two weeks in to this school year, i hadn’t heard from him for an enitre day. Then spazzed out on him. He said he’s stressed with school and work and said he shouldn’t have promised the same things he did, within the last month. He told me to, for now, talk to other guys…i asked how long for now is and he said it shouldn’t be long but he can’t garuntee anything. I left it at that and was the last one to reply in the conversation we had. It’s going on 2 weeks now, do you think he’ll ever talk to me again? I really feel like im being left hanging and it sucks wondering i we’ll ever be good again. Im using the NC rule because i refuse to be the one to make an effort again first and look stupid.
Enc

September 30, 2014 at 2:57 am

Hi, I really need to get some feedback please, I met a guy back in july we got intimate from the third date which was only in about 2 weeks. end of july i went on a month trip but never contacted him to say bye, which later i heard he was upset about this, everything was fine, until one night a guy became interested and kissed me without me letting him, and he saw it, i am very interested in him, and 10 days ago i had more than few drinks and decided to leave my friends house, he was there and i got upset because a girl was flirting with him, for some reason i called him and went to his place, he has responded to my texts but hasnt called or initiated any texts and has become very formal in answering, i know it has been fault, i have apologized, and i do miss him, i know i have not been very mature during this time, but i still dont understand why he made such decision, i will see him by the weekend and he has said only will come to the party with no drama, and as a guy friend, i am very heartbroken, dont know if i should meet him, i just want to explain to him its not what he thinks then decide,
Sarah Lucy

September 30, 2014 at 1:07 am

My Story: My boyfriend and I were together for 4 years. He and I grew up from VERY different backgrounds and households…his parents were suuuuuper rich (500+k per year) and my parents like 30k a year. I say this because he got everything handed to him and I had to work hard fro everything I did. I also didn’t have a super loving awesome household to grow up in, as he did. I think i had a lot of resentment for this and there were a lot of times i was bossy, untrusting and mean to him. March this year, he broke up with me and we weren’t together for 4 months. I moved away to chicago for the summer (where he is from) and he ended up moving there for good. So we got back together for all summer long. When it was time for me to come back to school, he dropped me off and we were planning on doing long distance but he said he doesn’t think he can do it. I texted him non stop every day for over a week and a half and sometimes he wouldn’t reply unless i texted him 50 times first. The last text i sent to him was “its clear to me that you don’t care. I’m moving on, good luck with everything,” (just to get a ride out of him) but he never resounded. That was one week ago. He called me ONCE 3 days after that, but I didn’t answer. He still hasn’t tried to call or text me and I’m going crazy. I really want to be with him more than anything but it’s hard because he lives 8 hours away from me. What should I do? and if he does contact me, I feel like it will be minuscule stuff like “how are you” and I don’t want small talk with him i want love talk! if you know what i mean??

admin

September 30, 2014 at 3:02 pm

Why would you hold how much his parents made against him? You should have loved him more for it b/c they will probably teach him to be a good person.

Lauren

September 29, 2014 at 1:22 pm

Hi, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 5 days ago. Hes a sweet sensitive guy, who also deals with anxiety a lot. I’m 24 and he’s 22, we both attended the same university. During this past summer, he became very lonely as he was not getting along with his roomates and relied on me a lot to hang out every day, text constantly, and would sometimes get annoyed that I’d rather “hang out with random people” than him. I decided to end things, but merely days later I regretted it and we got back together. Since then things have been great. Until two months ago when he moved back to his home town (an hour away) to live with his 3 good friends from back home. This is when things took a weird turn. He wasn’t texting me back for days, which I sort of understood because he was having fun. I visited a couple times and I expressed concern for him not texting me which probably came off sort of like nagging. We both decided it would be a good idea for me to consider job options in his city and the times I visited we were great. Not being able to find a job was making me miserable. The week leading up to the breakup he still texted me ‘i love you’s’and ‘babe’. We met for a date 5 days ago half way and ended up having a huge fight. I was feeling neglected and he said I made him feel that way before. After I started crying he said he was going to go home. So impulsively and emotionally I said if he leaves me there like that, that were done. We continued fighting and he said the spark isn’t the same and he some times doesn’t think to text me and that I’m too controlling and nag. I freaked out and reacted in crying and begging; I couldnt ontrol what I was even saying in that moment. That night he texted me asking if I got home OK so I replied apologizing and saying I’d give him space. Have been in ‘nc’ since. I’m scared of no contact because if I felt like a nag/responsibility amidst this fun chapter in his life, wouldn’t me not contacting him feel like pure freedom? He also has extreme anxiety so he hates dealing with confrontation. He’s not a stubborn person I just think because of his anxiety he wouldn’t contact me after NC even if I did reach out. What do I do?

Lauren

October 1, 2014 at 9:51 am

Just read a different article of yours and I realized what happened was the domino effect of me not admiring him anymore. Starting to nag etc. How do I go about making him feel admired again when I do contact after NC?

Terra

September 27, 2014 at 11:18 pm

How do you do the NC if you work together and see each other through out the day and we have a child together? I can not just ignore him when I see him everyday at work and we have to interact with each other due to our child.
Lou

September 22, 2014 at 1:08 am

Hi…
I’ve been reading your information. But I have a problem.
I met this guy at work. Known him for 3 years. We instantly clicked. Had the same interests, enjoyed each others company, but ignores me from time to time. Then he comes back. Then ignored me again then comes back. This recent time he has ignored me and it’s has been 9 months. But then I did something really stupid which I realize now. In Nov. 2013 right after Thanksgiving I was having some issue’s at work. Also having some Holiday blue’s. (I live in Florida and my family are all up north)So I was offered a better job. So a background check had to be done on me. My oldest son had passed away in June of 2013….So between the stress at work, up coming holiday’s, and my son’s death and the background check, my emotional behavior was off.
Now let me tell you I helped this Man in everyway possible. He was coming out of a bad marriage/divorce, has 2 small children, giving him advice on that…
We used to meet at this coffee place before he would pick up his children after school. So I was there earlier. I parked behind the coffee shop, and was, well what it looked like to him hiding or spying, behind the pole. Believe me I’m regretting this and how I acted. I just haven’t been myself.He questioned me about this and I denied the whole thing. I should have admitted to what I did and that scared him and mad him mad. Not only that I lied, but the trust that he had in me, I don’t know if I can get that back. I emailed him saying I was so sorry that I didn’t say the truth. I text him also, but then found out from someone who works with him….he blocked my emails, and number.
Now I need your input on this….
Till this day I haven’t heard from him and I haven’t contacted him either and I’m so ashamed of myself!
I really like him. I like how he is with his children and his family. He has told me that he does not want to get serious with anyone right now and I’ve accepted that. I was just a good friend, always there when needed and we talked about everything. We were close and I really cared.
But I have messed up everything! No Holiday wishes of any kind. Has he moved on? Do I contact him? Has enough time passed for me to contact him? Has he forgiven me?
Any information you can share will help.
Remember he blocked from his email and cell phone, but he is on Facebook….Do I contact him there?
Thank You…
Lou
Cc

September 19, 2014 at 2:59 pm

It’s been 3 weeks since no contact was initiated. Days 1 & 5 he attempted to reach out to me in which I didn’t reply. On day 1 he blocked me on fb. It’s now 3 weeks into NC and I haven’t heard from him since day 5. He has many other prospects so I am highly doubting that I am even on his mind. Any thoughts on what his thoughts may be?

admin

September 29, 2014 at 1:23 pm

It is still super early in NC.

Andrea

September 18, 2014 at 5:41 pm

My boyfriend and I were together for a year and it’s our first really serious relationship. For the past month (August) we were really rocky. He left me because he didn’t feel a connection for weeks and weeks, he always told me to tell him how I feel and I felt really sad that he never even told me how HE felt. When it was the third day of our breakup I went over to his house to drop off stuff. We still kinda were together but the fact of me bringing his stuff over upset him. He said that I’m just showing him we’re done.. By returning all his sweaters. Either way I went over, when he saw me he looked at me in a good way. We were silent and I hugged him. We were both so shaky. I cried a little and I kissed him and he kissed me. When I went home he told me he made the biggest mistake of his life. He said I looked so beautiful. And we were back…
Eventually we would fight about the stupidest things. And we would fight about what he did to me, about leaving me.
I would be very cold with him at some points, I felt really careless and he cried and cried and cried and I was so emotionless. Eventually we fixed things and we stayed together. Then he left over another argument just to come back. When he would say he’s done I would beg and beg and call and I felt like I was pushing him away. Since he likes his space. Eventually we were okay again, fixing things and everything was good. For me at least … We spent a week or two really good. He told me he knew I felt something and I knew I felt something when I told him we should go our own way one day.. I regretted it. I told him I didn’t mean it and I wanted to be with him. We fixed things again, he bought me these 50$ flowers, he would bring me pho and he would pick me up from school. It was great until just Friday.. When we fought and he told me he’s done and I told him to see me in person and we talked and cried.
He said he doesn’t feel a connection, he feels obligated to be with me, and then he told me he wants me then I would tell him things like “don’t be with me because you’re comfortable. Don’t be with me because you feel bad” and I feel like saying those things opened his eyes. He then went back to his original decision. He said it wasn’t fair to me that I should be in love with someone else who doesn’t feel the same anymore ? /:
I cried so much and before his dad picked him up he said we could fix things we could try.. But he didn’t even want to kiss me or hug me. I felt like begging was pushing him away. Saturday we saw eachother and I felt like telling him I have to let him go, and I did and I was expecting him to say “no, I want to be with you” but he said “I was thinking the same thing” I was broken. He blocked my number and took the stuffed animals he got me with him. He said other kids needed them. And I cried, and I called and obviously he didn’t picked up because I’m blocked. Either way I got a new hold of him and called him endlessly . I’ve been going through a lot… He said it’s for the best but I don’t know. Something is telling me it’s not over. I started NC a few days ago. He said we can’t be there for eachother even as friends. I even told him in person .. “… What if you come back, what if you miss me and wanna talk ?” He said “I wont wanna talk.. It’s for the best”
I’m just so confused and miss him with everything in me. A year. A year. Yes hes 18 and I’m 17. Our first serious relationship.. And I’m so much more mature than him. Should I just forget about him ? Or try …

admin

September 29, 2014 at 12:38 pm

Are you two going to be seperated by college soon?

Box

September 7, 2014 at 1:43 am

Hi,
I am a guy. I am not sure if your NC rule applies to girl. But I want to give it a try.
I broked with gf about 2 weeks ago (We only know each other for 3 months).
This is our story. We know each from a dating website, and we like each other. We had alot of wonder chats during night before we ever met. Then about 2 month later, we met for the first time. From there we having a few wonder time when dating. After the 3rd date, I started to move forward a little bit, to make certain about our relationship. She was happy that day too after we moved forward. From there, she told her parents about our relationship. Her parents rejects me. From what I heard is family background issue. I am a Citizen, she is a internation student, she is looking for job(I mention to her that i am very much worry about girl cheating on me for the green card). She also mention that her parents want she has a happy marriage. From there, she wants to break with me for the first time. But then a few days later I asked her out, it was a fast, and “Yes”. I successfully convinced her to stay with me. We had another date after this day (Out last). I told her that I dont want to give up. The happy life is waiting for us only if we keep going. I also told her that she is the girl i am looking for. I want her to be my gf. I also told her that my mom is also rejecting her because she is internation student. I told her that i spend a few hours to convince my mom, which i did it successfully. I told her my mom’s action about her to prove that my mom accepted her. (We have another date after this) She then tried to talk to her parents more. Then a week later, she said she cant convince her parents. She said she dont have job; she still needs the support from her parents (I cant say i will support her instead, we only know for 3 months, although I can do it). She cannot argue with her parents too much, too deep. I tried to ask her out, but this time there was something blocking me(I asked too late, she had a party going on the same day). Then we talked more, and happily at night. The following week, i continue to ask her out (i ask 3 days ahead). She said “Should be OK” (Well, she said this at the first time i asked her out, and we made it). Then we talked the days after. Then the Saturday morning (30 minutes before i wake up), she messaged me back that saying that “She want to cancel out meeting on Sunday, I tried to her every night, and asking her out, she know I want more from her. She cannot give me. She feel guilty.”. Then i immediately text her back, staying that I want to get something clear before we break. And the messenger returned “I am blocked”. Later on, i found out that she also deleted the pictures I shared with her. For facebook, she has the habbit to deactivate it, but i still see her from my friend list. This time, i dont see her anymore (I expect she unfriend me). When i go to her facebook link, it said the page is unavailable (I expect she deactivate it again). For email (we share pictures through email), i am not sure, i never dare to try it. I had her phone number (she asked me for it, and she called me once, then that is, i never called her, we only chat on messenger.). I am not sure if she blocked me through the phone, like i did for email, i scared to try it. Later, i found some another internet website that she always went to (She dont know i found this new site after we break up).

It is 2 weeks since we break up (also 2 weeks since she blocked me). I didnt contact her since that block. I read your article, i starting to post some positive moments on the messenger(Maybe she block my moments too).
I dont want to contact her because i dont want to give her too much pressure. I want her to live happy. But i also afraid if we break so long, we will have no chance to go back as bf/gf.

What do i do? I need advise please.

In addition, because we know each other off the internet, we dont have any common friends. We dated a few times, but we never meet each other’s friend. I tried to arrange it, but seems like there are something blocking us.

admin

September 15, 2014 at 3:08 pm

My other site, Ex Girlfriend Recovery is perfect for you.

« Previous 1 … 46 47 48 49 50 … 59 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”