What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Kira

August 24, 2014 at 5:35 pm

Hi Chris,

First, I would like to thank you for your website! You have done a great job being realistic and yet encouraging the heartbroken that all hope isn’t lost. I wish I would have found it 3 months ago when my bf broke up with me. I apologize for the length, but I felt it was better to talk to you than him at this time.

First 2 months after the breakup, I didn’t talk to him, I focused on me. Let’s just say, we both weren’t happy with our breakup. I sent only 1 Facebook message to him 1-2 days after the breakup and it was a classic “point out the problems, try to fix it and talk with me” (wrong, I know but I’ve no regrets). I found out later he didn’t respond to it because he thought I called him a Casanova when in actuality I didn’t. I said what he did was LIKE a Casanova (English is not his first language either). Cross-cultural relationship issues, and it gets better!

My Story:
in an LDR with a guy who lives in Europe and I live in the USA. We were physically together in the states during most of our relationship for about a year. We did the LDR thing in the middle of it for 3mos while he was away. He told me at the beginning that this relationship might not work out because of the distance. Let’s just say I was foolish and caught feelings. For the first time in my life, I saw a future with a man I’m dating (I usually don’t). So, I wanted to work hard to keep this special guy. I even told him I’d move close to him if he asked me to because I am in a position where I can. I really think he’s confused mainly because he has now confused me.

Our relationship was open to communication which helped whenever we had language barriers. He introduced me to his friends and I met his family. We were happy while we were together. Then all of a sudden he does a personality 180 the week before he broke up with me. I knew a break-up might happen but his execution and intentions were poorly conveyed. Instead of being his usual caring, responsible and communicative, he became the exact opposite. He told me we never fought during our relationship (his way of saying we don’t know each other well enough to make huge commitments or something, idk). We may have had disagreements (1%, or 2% milk?) but we didn’t fight because we’re calm & patient people (we hate drama). I’d say the only fight we had was this breakup. He gave me a list of compliments, hugged me a lot, and left back to Europe. I know you said it’s hard on him being the heartbreaker, but I’m not seeing it. Poker face, anyone? He let me go twice so calmly and the second time he asked me to be friends. Let me explain what I’ll call “break-up #2- let’s be friends.”

I had to see him 4 weeks ago on an overseas business trip (I illuminated confidence and I’d say I looked good!) We had 1 conversation to clear the air and now he wants to be friends.
I knew he’d been struggling with some inheritance issues between family members (nobody is dead, just future prep). I offered to help too. I asked him if there was anything I could do to change his mind about us and he shook his head “no.” He only looked at me once during this entire conversation. No eye contact. I gave up hope after that talk. 5 days later, he sends me a message out of the blue on Facebook asking me all sorts of, “how are you, how’s your trip, what the weather is like” questions. He hadn’t spoke to me like that at all during my trip. I should have started NC right then… I responded to the message only answering his questions then told him while on my trip, there was a young man who was nice enough to talk with me and I found the conversation very educational, mind blowing. I ended the message wishing him a great vacation. He hasn’t spoke to me since. And that’s when I started NC to get him back.

I’ve been NC for almost 3 weeks now (day 17). I have not heard from him during NC. And I hate being friend-zoned with a guy I want to spend my life with. So that’s a big motivator for me not to talk to him during NC. I want to be his #1 and only one. He may be with other women, idk. In our “let’s be friends” talk, he told me there was one woman he had to reject because she wanted to commit (at least he was committed enough to me to give me a title of girlfriend). But as far as I know, he’s still single.

I know that LDR is hard for men physically/sexually but it’s tough on women too. I’ve had a random guy give me an engagement looking ring as an “offer for friendship.” I’m totally not interested in that guy for various no-no reasons. I am making an effort for my Ex. I am staying strong with NC. Do you think this is working on him? I’ve read many of your articles. Not sure if my guy is stubborn or scared. I’ll try your steps after NC to get him back. If this works, I’ll definitely be boasting about you! If it doesn’t, it’s all good. I’m so neutral that I don’t have high expectations. But it would be nice to have some help from Lady Luck.

admin

August 25, 2014 at 12:06 pm

An engagement ring as an offer for friendship????

That seems like an awful lot of money just to be friends hahaha.

He is probably both stubborn and scared.

Madison

August 19, 2014 at 10:46 pm

My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago after dating for 8 months. About a month after breaking up, he told me he was not in love with me anymore. Even though he said this, we still continued to talk frequently an he would still get jealous or mad if it seemed like I was flirting or giving another guy attention. Another month had passed and I went to a party that he did want me to go to and after going he got really upset & told me that he was thinking about getting back together but I ruined that chance because of attending that party. After a week of not speaking to me, he finally replied to my texts and told me that he did some thinking and realized he did not want a relationship at the moment but he still wanted me. (as in wanted me to wait until he was ready). So I waited and from time to time we spoke within the next month. Then one day he accused me of moving on to another guy but that was not true at all. I don’t even know where he would’ve even gotten that idea because he knew I was still in love with him. He went without speaking to me for a week and when he finally texted me he told me that he did not think we would be getting back together any time soon and that he wanted to move on. I was heart broken. He seemed to have dropped the whole idea of me being with another guy and told me that I did nothing wrong & that his decision about moving on had nothing to do with anything I did except that he did not have feelings for me anymore, only as a friend. I cried to him and told him that I still loved him but all he said was he was sorry and that he did not want to talk about it anymore. Once again he did not talk to me for a week then he removed me from his social media accounts and then randomly texted me reminding me about any bad times we had during our relationship, and told me he did not care if I was moving on, he just did not want to see or hear about it on his social media. This of course made me even more heart broken and I still do love him very much. A mix of people have been telling me to move on but others are telling me not to give up on him if I still love him. I’ve tried no contact rule and it has now been 3 weeks since I have been in contact with him. I just wondered if there is anything you could do to help or any advice you could give me to help my chances on getting him back. Or do you think I should just give up. However I really do want him back.

admin

August 25, 2014 at 11:49 am

Its a very good sign that he is getting jealous if you seemed like you were flirting.

Tell me what have you done during your NC?

Kristen

August 18, 2014 at 9:50 pm

So today marks day 30 of my NC period. My ex has not tried contacting me once during NC. I can contact my ex at any time now that the 30 days has passed, right?

admin

August 19, 2014 at 2:28 pm

Correct!
Kristen

August 23, 2014 at 4:15 pm

Chris,
So I text my ex yesterday after 35 days NC. I sent my first text and after about an hour he responded (which I think is a good sign). My initial text said “The other day I saw the preview for the new sin city movie coming out soon that made me think of you. how are you? Hope all is well”. He responded: “Yeah I wanna see that. I’m alright stayin very busy with work and doin construction on the side. How are u? hope all is well with u too”. I responded like an hour an a half later saying “I’m good. Lot of time spent applying for jobs and going on job interviews. Apart from seeing my favorite band 3 times, of course.” Didn’t think there was anything too wrong with that but he did not respond after that.

I’m waiting the few days/a week or so to text him again, but I don’t know why I’m not sure where to take it from here?
Should I try something along the lines of another initial first text until we get more (those additional 2-3 text messages) of a conversation going?
Or do I try something along the lines of a “remember the good times” text?

Kristen

August 17, 2014 at 10:37 pm

Today marks day 30 of NC. My ex has not tried contacting me once during the NC period. I can contact my ex at any time now that the 30 days has passed, right?
ailana

August 13, 2014 at 6:31 am

I believe my husband is both stubborn and angry. we have a 20 plus year relationship that went from friends, best friends, bf with benefits (conceived a child now 16&a half), a formal couple then married for 6 years. Stuff happened that caused us both to become consumed in our own situations, mine was responsibility that made me rather controlling and bitchy, even gained like 80 pounds. His was drinking (which is why I was kind of controlling) and both of us wanted more than we gave. I came to a point where I realized what I had become and needed to change personally so I started, then I decided I want to improve my marriage. We had a lot of mini break ups and one pretty big one where I let him stay partly at his friends house and partly at home.
I thought I was allowing for the “man cave” and he took it like I didn’t want him home (he says that’s when he began to lose love for me), that’s the thinking difference between of men and women. So my husband started letting go and around 3 months ago he walked out wanting to a divorce. He says he will get it when he can afford it. He says he is completely over it and not in love with me anymore at this point (and felt this way for a while now). We communicate a lot, sometimes argue then make up mostly via phone. He has slept over (in my bed, no sex but cuddling) after hanging out with me and our daughter watching TV (cuddling) at home. I am not sure if he feels an obligation or pity but he tries to be supportive of me through this, emotionally, financially and he is even going to take me out for my birthday tomorrow. He is also seeing someone (for st least 3 months now) maybe half his age who he became interested in during the break before he moved out around 9 months ago…

He feels like he was controlled and his manhood was challenged, had no say in the home, wasn’t wanted or accepted and was unhappy for a long time then gave up, so my husband has a bad aftertaste in his mouth from our relationship for sure. I believe we have something that goes deeper than the pain & if he can get past it we can have something good between us again. I will begin no contact after my birthday tomorrow.

I know who I married and I am not delusional about our problems in the past. What I want is a new / improved relationship, I believe the changes I made for me personally, will help to improve the quality of my marriage if my husband would just be willing to ride it out with me. I don’t need him I just want him as my partner for the final run of our life together.

So my question is, considering how much time has passed since he emotionally began to give up (maybe a year), till he finally left three months ago and he is seeing the young girl and we have had so much contact during the break up, do you think the no contact rule has a chance to work for a reunion between me and my husband in this situation?

ailana

August 13, 2014 at 6:50 am

One thing I forgot to explain is that I started to make both internal and external changes including losing 20 pounds before he left and another 30 after. I started taking a class and continue to make personal improvements in myself through this break up.

Tessa D

August 13, 2014 at 2:43 am

I’ve been with the same guy for a little over 2 years and there’s a little bit of an age gap. I’m 21 and he’s 26. He recently got in trouble with the law and ever since he’s had to grow up and become a man. Now works full time& moved out with some roommates. After he got in trouble, he had to maintain a ten o’clock curfew every night for over a year. He lost friends and his social life.
I decided to stay and we spent all of out time together. We became soo very close. All his family and friends he started talking to again all thanked me for sticking thro it with him. Even he cried to me multiple times about how he wouldn’t know what he would have done without me.
Everything between us was great.. Or so I thought. He recently told me how he wasn’t happy in the relationship when we were apart. But every time we were together it was amazing (his words) . We almost broke up basically because he wants somebody who can support themselves.. He wants kids before he’s 30 and sees himself getting married. I told him to give me time to go back to school and I’ve been unemployed for a while(having trouble finding a job). He decided to wait because he didn’t want to be without me.. Now 3 weeks later he tells me the same thing and we haven’t spoken for 2 days now which is the longest we’ve ever gone. We used to talk multiple times everyday. Last we spoke he was saying the same things he was saying before and tried to say he didn’t love me anymore. I told him to tell me he wasn’t in love with me. He couldn’t and hung up. Called me back to tell me he needs a serious break to think about everything but he had also mentioned that he wanted me to fight for him earlier in the conversation. But as we were ending the call he told me that if I find someone else to not wait for him cause he doesn’t want to hold me back. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! I’m going crazy.. Does it mean he’s met someone else and he wants me to move on Orr does this mean he’s testing me? I’m trying my absolute best not to call him but I’m seriously debating it.. And if not tonight definitely tomorrow.

admin

August 13, 2014 at 2:14 pm

Yes, I don’t think you should call him. Stay strong. Stay strong. Just stay into NC.
Tessa D

August 13, 2014 at 2:45 am

Sorry for the short story I just don’t know what to think. I really need advice 🙁

Sm

August 12, 2014 at 9:50 pm

Ok well let me start from the begining i went out of town to see my family and she couldn’t come and i made sure sh had everything and even gave her money to have fun with. We have had our problems fighting and everything but we always made up. I can tell she was drifting away. Well when i was down there she was beng really mean and stand off as to talking to me. I came back and the same day she broke up with me i was crushed i had planned on marrying this girl and everything we were together for a year and a half. I later found out by her because i didnt feel like she was telling me everything because she said that she was tired of us fighting and that it shouodnt be this hard but later when i confronted her that i felt it was something else she finally broke down and told me she cheated on me the second day i was down there with a guy she doesnt even no. I was crushed and she was crying and said she was sorry and that she loved me and wanted to be with me and so we got back together for only two days and then she started being mean again and stand offish. And we broke up again. I did everythin you shouldnt do i begged i texted her over and over and called her and then she stared dating one of her friend a few weeks after we broke up and it hurt alot and i wrote her saying he is not good for you and this other stuff about him. And at this time she still didnt get all her things out of our apartment and so i got made and told her to come get all her shit. I texted her and apologize for what i said but she never wrote back. I texted her the next day saying that i will leave her alone and so i started to nc and hope she would write me saying she missed me. But she has not and i no ts because she is a stubburn person and was really mean when i texted her alot about how i missed her and she even told everyone she hates me. I dont no if i should wait longer to contact her because she is still dating this guy. I have hear from friends that she is misable but i dont no if it because of me or not oor if she misses me or not i just need some help some real help on what i should do i love her with all my heart but i just dont no what to do it will be 30 days on aug 14 what should i do

admin

August 13, 2014 at 2:04 pm

You should really check out my other site, ex girlfriend recovery if you are trying to get your ex girlfriend back .

nicki

August 12, 2014 at 11:50 am

Hi Christ,
I’ve written before. BF broke up with me in April. I was pretty upset. I tried NC – went about improving myself, gave up smoking and got super fit. I didn’t complet NC, we bumped into each other and I suggested a drink. We had a great ‘date’.

I stupidly skipped to the build attraction stage. It was working he said he had so much fun one night if I’d ask to get back together he would have said yes. But the next day he said he still thinks he’d feel the same a few months down the line.

‘The same’ being he wants to be selfish, has bought a flat and has never had that before – being alone. (He is 34 and had a 6yr relationship and they lived together unilt he was 30/31). He can’t be the committed bf i deserve, etc.

Our relationship (8mth) was good. I caused some unnecessary dramas early on as I was unsure and being a commitment phobe. He was way into me before I was him, then it switched. I think he got bored, he said it never felt like a new relationship.

Anyway, we have hung out a bit and went on a few ‘dates’, i stupidly slept with him a couple of times. And after this going on for a couple of months – basically me chasing him I asked if he wanted us to be together. And he says he can’t commit.

I have said I need to move on then as this situation (seeing him every now and then but barely hearing from him in between) is upsetting me. I have stupidly quesitoned him about other girls too. He works away a fair bit and I now think he has actually met someone he might be into as they are instagram/snappchatting up a storm.

I told him this situaiton leaves me confused and I can’t be just friends/casual. He said he doesn’t hang out for sex, understands my decision, just wants to be selfish and it’s not about sleeping around, and he hasn’t.

So i’m on day 11 of NC. I ignored his birthday, day 7 (even though he text me from Vegas (we live in london) on mine a month ago). That was hard, though I did say happy birthday for next week when I said I wanted us to go our separate ways.

I know i’ve done that ALL WRONG! but is NC followed by the first contact messages now the right way to go??? I’m scared about this other girl he’s met – it was only a few weeks ago but I know she’s got all his attention (social media wise at least) and it breaks my heart that’s not me.

admin

August 13, 2014 at 1:32 pm

I still think it is yes.

Sm

August 11, 2014 at 8:41 pm

I am coming up in the 30 days of no contact with my ex and i was wondering because she has put things up on snapchat and so have i and she is always the first one to see it and u see hers as well is this kind of breaking the no contact really and should i wait longer ti write her and not put anything on snapchat. I just need help.

admin

August 12, 2014 at 12:03 pm

As long as you don’t directly contact her in any way shape or form you should be ok.

Nica

August 11, 2014 at 3:45 pm

Hey! Me and my boyfriend were together for almost 2 years and it was a serious relationship in which I know that he is the one for me. I broke off the relationship too quick because I was being too needy, I broke his heart and I felt really bad because I ended it too quick. So I asked him to take us back in our relationship but he said its not the right time. 🙁 I felt so hurt because I just lost the most important guy in my life. Now, we are trying to be friends but its very difficult. He still tells me that he miss me but then he starts saying that there are girls crushing on him. Idk what to do with him. I’m trying to do the “no contact rule” but no matter what, I’m always breaking it because I’m scared he might look for another one 🙁 What should I do?

admin

August 12, 2014 at 11:27 am

Seems to me your task is simple…

STOP BREAKING NC haha.

Jessica

August 11, 2014 at 1:56 pm

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because he started to take me for granted and I wanted to teach him a lesson. It was really hard and I cried and cried about it but he started begging for me back. During this time I had a guy friend I was going to for advice and he got really jealous and felt like he was a sideline. He begged for me for about 2 months and I didn’t take him back right away because I was scared. Now that I’m ready to make thinks work he’s found a new girl that he hangs out with and gets drunk with all the time. He wants me to “wait it out” and “let it play its course.” So here I am begging for him to want me again, just like he was doing for me. When we dated we were really serious, planning on getting married, together everyday, I love this kid more than anything, and I know he feels the same too. He texted me and told me he missed me and hes not happy because he misses me but we can’t be together right now and he gets drunk everyday to numb the pain. This is sooooo hard for me to do because I beat myself up wishing I took him back when he was begging to make things right. I started No Contact two days ago and its already tearing me apart. Do you think it’s even worth it? I can’t bear to see him go and I don’t know what to do. I want to wait it out but I feel like if I do hes just going to take advantage of me being there sort of like I did to him. Should I have faith?

admin

August 12, 2014 at 11:21 am

I bet he holds some resentment from you not taking him back when he was begging.

nelly

August 7, 2014 at 1:52 am

Exactly a month ago my boyfriend of almost 2 years broke up with me over the phone stating that he was no longer happy and that “he couldnt see himself with me anymore.” The truth is, after having done long distance for half a year he cheated on me and we were never really able to recover. I gave him 6 months of chances and he never really made up for it. At one point he saw a future with me and I feel as though that was lost once he felt that I could never forgive him. Obviously I cant speak for him, but i do want the relationship that we had back. After no contact for a month he texted me on my birthday. I’m not sure what to think of this or if i am reading into it too much. I was hoping to keep no contact until the end of the summer (about 60 days total) since we realistically cannot properly communicate over the phone considering not having seen each other since breaking up. Is it a bad idea to extend no contact?

He knows me to be the type to beg him to come back and this time I have just gone silent and have tried to focus on myself. He had threatened breakups in the past but had never followed through until now. He typically doesn’t know what he wants and goes back and forth on his decisions, one day I am his world and he cant live without me and the next day I am holding him back. Im not sure whether us being apart for the summer or the influence of his single “bros” was an influence on his decision. I was wondering what were your thoughts on how to go about continuing no contact longer and whether this relationship is salvageable.

Thanks

admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:11 am

Hi Nelly,

I am so sorry he cheated on you. That is the worst feeling in a relationship.

You mentioned you gave him six months of chances and he never made up for it.

Honestly, why would you want someone who couldn’t make up for that?

Elena

August 4, 2014 at 7:20 pm

I don’t even know why but my 10 month boyfriend stopped talking to me, I told him I wanted to talk to him about a girl who had been flirting on his Facebook wall. He started acting like a jerk and then stopped texting, I was an idiot cause I begged him and I even said I was sorry, but as the stubborn bastard as he is he just read the text but didn’t reply. My brother told me he immediately had a relationship with another girl on FB but when I tried to see it, the post was gone. So I was hurt and confused cause we didn’t even break up at least we didn’t say it. I stopped humiliating myself and stopped texting just a couple days ago. The thing here is, I love that man more than I love myself. And I don’t know what to do. Idk if the NC rule is good in my case cause when I say he is a stubborn bastard I mean it. I know he won’t contact me, he is ignoring me right now, I’m not even sure if that relationship on FB is real or what the hell idk anything to be honest…. HELP please!

Elena

August 13, 2014 at 3:36 am

Well, he is always flirting. That’s the way he is. I couldn’t help it, I texted him a week ago, I told him we should act like two grown ups, he said yes, when I told him I wanted to talk he vanished, he reads my texts but won’t reply. I’ve seen his FB and there’s this girl calling him “my love” and telling him “I love you” that broke me. He didn’t reply just liked the comment, He’s in the army, stationed in NC. And this girl is from Germany, not really a threat. But anyway it hurts. I’ve read how to get him back if he cheated, cause he definitely did cheat on me. I want him back anyway, he is stubborn as hell, he once told me “don’t press my jacka**” I can really be a jerk.” Idk what’s going on.
It hurts thinking he never loved me. Or he lied? OMG I just can’t be like this, I know I’m completely pathetic. As an army gf my life changed a lot, I supported him while he was overseas. Texting an calling in the middle of the night and wouldn’t care the different time zone. I miss him. We texted all day every day. Now he just leaves!? He vanishes? As simple as that? As if I’d never existed, didn’t I mean something!? I’m completely depressed
admin

August 6, 2014 at 2:13 pm

I think he did owe you an explanation about that girl though…

How bad was their flirting?

Lori

July 25, 2014 at 2:52 pm

HELP!! My BF had alot happen to him over the past few months. and i didnt realize how it affected him till he checked out..and then broke up. He talked to me, was a little harsh, seemed overwhelmed. I think he could control his relationship with me and so he took the only control he could. I read and read, and learned. NC. After a week, he txted me and said he was leaving town to work, could he come get his things. I said Yes, of course. but i wasn’t there when he came. NC. he left a letter, telling me that he loved me but he wasn’t the best for me. He was a mess. I would find someone better. I didn’t ever contact him. NC. He’s put up a dating profile in his new town. Wants a relationship. I’m so scared he’s moved on from me. “she didn’t answer so that’s that” or “I want her to move on and I want that for myself too” Some variations that makes my stomach hurt. Im struggling with what he’s thinking. I want him in my life more than i’ve ever wanted anything that i can remember. is he done? Can i still get him back?

admin

July 28, 2014 at 1:44 pm

You can still get him back!

You might try NC!

hajra

July 24, 2014 at 8:00 pm

i have been in relationship for 1year we really loved each other he loves to fight and then make me happy it was his habit then as we got profesional we gave more time to our studies and less to love when eva we talk it was just a romantic time ended with fight last time i told him that how do i actually feel he said ok i have to go i must quit now i said ok fine then after 4days i contacted him i pleaded beged but he insulted me n told me he is in relationship n they are dating(i never met him it was fb relation) we used to skype but not date because its a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
a few days back he was saying i got gf bla bla i got depresed he said he was kiding then i said the same i found someone n send him a pic of random guy fake text he said he ll take revenge and said bad words about he n my family and then he felt sory he said sorry for almost 3hours
i dont know he is taking revenge or makin me jealous or he really brokeup
does NO CONTACT RULE will work as we never met we are in LDR

admin

July 25, 2014 at 2:13 pm

Have you checked out the LDR relationship post?
hajra

July 25, 2014 at 5:57 pm

i ll surly check it now thanks 🙂
hajra

July 24, 2014 at 8:01 pm

tell me can i get him back
admin

July 25, 2014 at 2:08 pm

You have a chance yes.

Lorie

July 23, 2014 at 2:39 am

Alright I know you read these all morning so I’ll be straightforward. We’ve been in no contact for 37 days so I texted him today in the format you’ve suggested he answered and then I answered back and then he didn’t reply. Is he mad about no contact? He didn’t seem mad in his answer. We had a friendly breakup. What should I do? I wish I could just get over him but even now after I’ve followed all the steps: getting fit, going out with friends, getting back into a hobby, and even going on some dreaded dates, I feel like we’re meant to be. Your help with these articles is much appreciated!!!

admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:46 pm

It’s not impossible that he could be mad but you know what, thats his problem. He will still message back whenver you do decide to break NC I am betting.

RobinRox

July 23, 2014 at 12:23 am

What’s an appropriate thing to say when you text them for the first time?

admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:36 pm

Have you read any of the guides on this yet?

Debi

July 22, 2014 at 11:53 pm

He broke up with me 6/9 we talked calmly for 1 1/2 hours I finally got up and led him to the door. On 6/10 I called him upset about something I found out. The whole time, he kept trying to interrupt me saying that he had made a mistake breaking up with me. On 6/14 he called and said he needed time to work some things through, he said he couldn’t imagine his life without me. On 6/23 he called and we had a good conversation I was friendly but not overly. He wanted to know how I was doing, he told me he wasn’t dating anyone (twice), I didn’t acknowledge the comment. He also said he was getting help for an underlying family problem. I told him I was proud of him for that. I have contacted him 3 times, once with the following letter that I sent one month after breakup:

Just a note to say that I am glad you finally broke it off with me. We couldn’t go on the way we were. I feel like a calm has come over me since then and it has helped me.

I also want to say I’m sorry for some (not all) of the things I said when I called about the picture. I am glad you gave me the time to talk things through, that helped.

I am taking a lot of steps to move forward and hope you are too. It is getting easier and I am keeping real busy.

I also called him when his 80+ year old neighbor called to say his alarm was going off and the police were there. I kept it short and sweet and got off fast. I also texted him to tell him a friend’s wife had died. He responded promptly.

What do I do next? He has not contacted me on his own since the 6/23 call.

admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:41 pm

Wait, what is the deal with the alarm?

Sana

July 21, 2014 at 5:37 pm

Is your advice only applicable for people who have been in long term relationships? I met my guy 3 months ago through friends. There was an instant chemistry after which we talked and texted for 2 months, and went on 3 dates. He lives in a different city. After 2 months of talking to him, I started having feelings for him. I think he realized this and started to pull away. I called him out on this and he acknowledged that he is not ready for a relationship. Today marks exactly 1 month to the last time we spoke. Neither of us have contacted each other since then. We are friends on facebook. Do you think its time for me to reach out to him? I do miss him alot but I dont know if he is just not ready for a relationship, or just not into me.

admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:17 pm

No its applicable to people in relationships.
Sana

July 22, 2014 at 7:38 pm

I am a little confused. Will this NC rule work for someone in my situation? Should I contact him at this point?

Lilly

July 17, 2014 at 9:19 am

My ex broke-up with me almost two months now and did not contact me at all until last week. The annoying thing was he did not really ask how I was or mention anything about what happened to us. Rather he went straight to asking if he could borrow my camera as he is going overseas and that he doesn’t have money to buy or hire one. That was it. It got me so annoyed as I am still not over what happened. So without thinking I brought up all the things I wanted to tell him after the break up. He just said I am the same angry little girl and thanked me for making it easier for him, which just annoyed me even more.

Did he actually just see if I was still mad and when I was made it sound like the break up was entirely my fault so he can leave at peace??? It is so frustrating. Can you give me an insight to the complicated mind frame of boys and what might have been the reason why he did that?

admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:17 pm

How long will he be overseas for?

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