What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Michelle Campis

July 14, 2014 at 5:51 pm

Hi, I wanted to know if you found success with your tactics on those who exhibit a passive-aggressive personality? These individuals have a very different thought process and was just curious if you have a different way of approaching passive-aggressive personalities.

admin

July 15, 2014 at 2:58 pm

Yup it can be successful in those cases.

Vanessa

July 13, 2014 at 1:12 pm

Thanks so much for this!!! I feel tons better just knowing he’s being stubborn lol, this spoke directly to me & it just made day! Appreciate the advice, thx for your blog!!
Lee

June 26, 2014 at 2:27 am

Hey Chris,

I’ve decided to try the no contact rule. My boyfriend recently decided to break up with me its been 2weeks since the break up. I took him off all my social netwroks which he seem to notice and later found himself tweeting a tweet that was obviously directed to me (he never uses twitter). Say something like “you went back to your old life..” i was confused he was the one who decided that he didnt feel the same torwards me so i didnt understand that post. But by the information you have given it seems to be that my ex is stubborn guy. He hasent seem to reach out to me, to see how im doing nor just to fix things. I really want to be with him but i know i cant make a person love me. I do feel like he cares and he is hurting. Also feel like he regreting it now but seems to stubborn to amit it. Im starting to feel like if he loves me he will reach out but it seems to this point his stubborn. All he seems to do is drink and party now which is really disappointing because he was never that type of guy. What do you suggest?

admin

June 26, 2014 at 3:32 pm

Did you read my guide on the male mind during NC?

Steph

June 24, 2014 at 7:22 pm

Hey Chris!

Thank you so much for the time you have taken to help all of us. It means a great deal. I have a question..on June 12, after 4 times of trying to hang out with him and him denying it, I decided enough was enough, especially as I saw that he was talking to other girls. So I completely stopped and I even took it a step further and deleted him and his family off of every social networking site. You might be wondering, why his family? Well to tell you the truth they know all of our business because he can’t really understand that some things are left to be between him and I and second of all, seeing his family all over my newsfeed was going to be a simple reminder of him that my heart can’t honestly take at the moment. Hours later after doing this, he contacted me..apologizing for not hanging out . The n ext day he told me he missed me and then 2 days later after I guess he realized I wasn’t contacting him back..he stopped. He unfollowed me off of Instagram, etc. and his family did so as well.
It’s been 10 days and I feel like he is feeling resentful. I found out he recently added this girl he knows I do not like on Facebook as well as his other exes..etc. And even though I have been tempted to call him up, I’ve fought the urge (very proud of myself!).

Bottom line: do you think he is forgetting about me? or he is over me?

should I continue the no contact period?

Advice/opinions from you and anyone else is 100% welcomed

thank you everyone in advance!

admin

June 25, 2014 at 5:02 pm

Continue the nc period.
Steph

June 26, 2014 at 12:39 pm

He is back with his other ex girlfriend

Shawna378

June 22, 2014 at 9:48 pm

Hi Chris,

I am on my 27th day of NC. This is the absolute hardest thing that I have EVER done in my life, and it literally feels like an eternity. Here’s the thing – my ex has not tried to contact me in these past 27 days (which has really surprised me). After reading this guide, I don’t see the reason “he’s over you and has moved on”. Is it possible that THIS could be why he hasn’t contacted me?!!!

admin

June 23, 2014 at 2:18 pm

Its not impossible but I don’t think so. I’d say hes more stubborn than anything

Nickie

June 20, 2014 at 3:08 pm

Hi, your website is great. I have a different kind of question regarding no contact. My ex’s mother and I are pretty close. I initiated no contact with my ex about 2 weeks ago, but during this time, this mother has kept in contact with me, in essence begging me to “fix” our relationship. She texts me often telling me what my ex is doing (for us) and I feel that he is having her contact me instead of him because he is EXTREMELY stubborn. So anyway, because having these interactions with her were becoming painful to me, I sent her a text saying that I needed to have a break from our conversations because I needed to mentally heal. I told her I would contact her in a few weeks. So my question is, does no contact also include not having any contact with family members? Does my no contact officially begin when I started my no contact with him or with his mother?
vaish

June 20, 2014 at 1:25 pm

Hi Chris, my bf says he’s so fed up with my cryin. He says he’s just fed up with me. Im really shaken, i don’t know if he wants to end our relationship. He is not answering me if i ask him wether he wants to end this. We did love each other alot. Hes heavily stressed but with frnds he seems to b happy. I request you to help me please
Brianne

June 19, 2014 at 1:20 am

Hi Chris, thank you very much for your awesome blog and advices. I’ve been in a long distance relationship with my bf for over 1.5 years and he broke up with me 1 month ago via email. He said that he loves me and will love me forever but he can’t manage the dichotomy of his real life and our long distance relationship anymore. He’s been struggling with these mixed feelings for months, so I emailed him back and told him that I wanted to make things civilized and wished him to be happy (because I truly want him to be happy).

But after a few days, I felt so deeply torn that emailed him again and asked him to chat. He replied that he has been thinking about us and would love to chat soon, so after 2 days he emailed me that he was online and ready to chat. I answered but he didn’t show up. He didn’t give me an explanation and I’ve never heard from him again. I didn’t emailed him after he stood me up because I was too confused.

I am now 21 days into no contact and he has not contacted me. As a side note, he hasn’t blocked me and our usual line of communication remains open. Is there any chance of us getting back together?

admin

June 20, 2014 at 7:38 pm

Long distance is tough.

Let me ask you something.

In all the time you were together how often would you see him? Like in person.

Jatli

June 18, 2014 at 2:17 am

Ok so I am 51 and my ex is 57. We have known each other for over 30 years but only have been together for 4 years. He broke up with me almost 3 months ago and I know it is for another woman who lives over an hour away.

I moved across the street from him and even though he was doing this our break up was pretty cordial. As he never told me about her I asked and he said no. He still hasn’t told me but I know.

He helped me move and when he was leaving he started to cry and said he wasn’t sure he was doing the right thing. But he needed to do this to see if we are what he wants for the rest of his life. He said that he didn’t think we were done but he had to do this for now. He wanted to miss me.

So I went NC and have been pretty good at it. Although I cry myself to sleep must nights. I walk every day have lost almost 30lbs and I think I look pretty darn good. I hadn’t talked to him in 2 weeks hadn’t seen him in over a month when he pulled out of his driveway and saw me. He immediately pulled over and started talking to me asking me how I was calling me baby. I talked to him for a minute nicely and then continued on my walk.

I haven’t heard or seen him in over a week now. I know he is still with her. Do I have a chance to get him back. Our relationship was great we never fought always laughed enjoyed each other’s company sex was great

admin

June 18, 2014 at 1:45 pm

4 years together.

Were you two talking about marriage or something serious like that?
Jatli

June 18, 2014 at 11:28 pm

No we really didn’t want to get married as we have both been down that road and we had the commitment and we always talked about what we would do when we retired. We lived together for most of those 4 years. We really enjoyed being together and even both our families thought they had never seen us happier. Even his kids said to me that they had never seen him happier. All our friends were shocked as they thought we were so strong. People would have killed for what we had. That is why I am so heartbroken.

Anna

June 17, 2014 at 1:47 pm

Me and my partner of 7 years broke up 12 weeks ago. We had limited contact at first and i was the one to reach out every time. Now we have now spoken or messaged in about 7 weeks after I cut contact completely. He has not reached out to me once, he broke off the relationship after saying he needed to find himself and that his feelings for me have changed. I have written so many messages into my phone that I never send. I just feel as if I don’t even exist to him anymore and he has just cut me out of his life so quickly and without much reason. Not sure where to go from here really, I’m keeping myself busy and trying to move on with my life but of course I still love him and miss him. It’s an inner battle every day to be honest..
Lou

June 17, 2014 at 1:05 am

This article only relates to the guy not speaking for 30 days. What if he doesn’t speak to me for 4 months? Does that mean he doesn’t miss me anymore?

As i said , im confused because this article and comments only mention NC for up to 30 days…

admin

June 17, 2014 at 8:48 pm

Hmm… youve tried contacting him for 4 months with no luck?

Carla

June 16, 2014 at 1:42 pm

So I was seeing this lad at uni for about 6 months and we got on so well but slowly we began to argue over the silliest things and he used to act and approach stuff in a way that really annoyed me (hes really stubborn). It takes two to argue and I used to say stuff that I regret from being angry and emotional. A number of times I said I couldnt do it anymore but then regretted this and we went back to normal. But it got to the point where we arguing quite a bit, he kept giving me blunt answers and I just had enough. I said to him can we try and sort it all out etc etc but he was having none of it. He ended it and said he couldnt deal with the arguments anymore and me constantly changing my mind about whether i wanted to be with him. He just didnt want to see me anymore. So the no contact rule began, after 5 days he messaged me asking how im doing..we text a little bit but after that day theres been nothing. Its been over a week now and we havent been in contact. He is an extremely stubborn person..the type to be like ‘well she should text me first’.

How do I go about this? Cause deep down I do think we’ll end up seeing eachother again..but im such an impatient person
blah bla

June 16, 2014 at 7:51 am

Hey, I was speaking to this guy for a few months and we seemed to be really into each other, we were both finishing school and planned loads of things over the summer together before we went to uni,he said he wanted a relationship throughout uni too (even though were going to separate ones) he said he wanted to introduce me to his parents etc. Then he just stopped talking to me, I knew he was busy but it was weird, I called him on my birthday and I couldnt help myself but to cry, he soon said he was too busy over the summer and wouldn’t have time for me and that I didn’t deserve him and I could go and find someone else and that one day I’d realise he’s not worth crying over,? He then said to delete his number as this wasn’t fair on me and he would get back into contact with me. It’s been over a month and I miss him like crazy, I felt we had such a strong connection but I don’t feel like he’s ever going to come back?

admin

June 16, 2014 at 2:29 pm

Over a month of NC?
blah bla

June 16, 2014 at 2:57 pm

Yep! Over a month this week

Alice

June 15, 2014 at 6:44 pm

Whilst we weren’t officially dating, the relationship I had with my ex partner was effectively dating but without the label. All along he had told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship as he had recently split up from his long term girlfriend and didn’t want to get involved in anything so soon afterwards, yet we still acted effectively as a couple. I (looking back on it now) stupidly accepted this and continued to see him for 6 months, after which time he broke things off as he said he liked me but had recently started talking to his ex again and that this had brought up old feelings for her and he wanted to stop things while he sorted his head out. I was left very hurt after this as I had fallen very hard for him and so told him that I still wanted to be friends but needed space for a while. Not being friends with him eventually is not an option as I am university with him and have arranged to live with him and other friends next semester. I am now 12 days into no contact, and he has not contacted me, however he tweeted a few days ago saying he couldn’t understand why he was such an idiot. I was left confused by this and didn’t know whether this was directed at me or his ex-girlfriend or something else entirely. I don’t know what to do, I miss him so much and would really like things to work out between us. Should I contact him or wait? Do you think he is silent on his end because he doesn’t care, is trying to sort his head out, or is trying to respect my wish for him to give me space? Thank you

admin

June 16, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Don’t read too much into the tweet just stick to your guns with NC.

Confused

June 14, 2014 at 1:35 pm

Hi, I’ve spoken to you a bit about my situation.

I decided to contact my ex after NC and said:

‘This is dumb

I know we have a lot to sort out and we will but I just can’t be bothered with this anymore right now and it’s weird not talking to you and it being all awkward

Do you think we can stop this and just talk?’

And he replied with:

‘I honestly don’t think we have anything to sort out, I’ve put it all behind me and I’ve tried to make conversation and you’ve just blanked me so… It’s up to you’

Have I done the wrong thing contacting him this way? Do I need to start over? Or do I just give up?

admin

June 15, 2014 at 5:58 pm

Yes you should have approached it differently.
Confused

June 24, 2014 at 4:25 am

Hi again, after realising this wasn’t the correct way to contact him, I decided to leave it for a while.

My ex then contacted me asking if we were ‘alright’ and we spoke for a bit about why we hadn’t been talking ( I said it was to give him space) since then we have spoken a couple of times. I sent the ‘first contact’ text and he responded positively, a few days later he started a conversation with me and we flirted for a bit, things seemed to be going well. I then contacted him and he completely ignored me, and I can’t think of a reason why?

Is this just a test to see how I react? Should I still try and contacts him? What should I do?

Thanks
Baban

June 16, 2014 at 12:12 pm

So I need advice guys. I’ve been in a relationship with. Guy for 8 years. We been talking about marriage and he constantly told me he loved me. I always hD doubts that is he cheating on me. Just cuz I’m a girl and I always felt insecure. But he constantly told me were older and the mistakes he made when he was 16 which was flirting on Facebook is in the past. Something big happened on his life. His dad from his home country kind of told him that he’s doing nothing in life such as school and his life is wasting away. He met me and told me all this and was thinking of moving to his country to go back to school. I cried and cried. He felt horrible and said he loves me and he’s Gona talk to his dad and figure things out and he needs to just figure it out. I wouldn’t give it a rest kept bothering him even when I reached home. Feeling so insecure. I cried and threatened to kill myself. He constantly told me he just needs to space to think and figure things out and that if I stick with him that’s all he needs. But of course I couldn’t. Felt more insecure. I kept calling and he said he didn’t wana marry me. He didn’t feel the spark. I met him the next day. He said he didn’t love me. He didn’t feel anything and he needs to break up with me to find himself as a person. He said there’s a 80 percent chance he won’t come back after this break up. I asked did u ever love me. He said I guess. He said I was the best thing in his life but he can’t continue with me. And that he felt like this for a month. Even tho he was so serious about marriage and wanting to be with me for the rest of my life a week ago. And when I always had doubts he always said we are not young and that he I’m his everythibg and we will get married. And that he would talk to my brother about us. Regardless of when my bf was drunk or sober he constantly told me that. So what are the chances him coming back. I havnt talked to him for 6 days. Using the NC rule. Anyone that can give me insight on a guys point of view. I know all those things he said about loving me wasn’t a lie. Because him as a person would never say Nyting to me just to say it now always meant what he said. That’s why the day he broke up with me seem so serious. Do u guys think it’s from anger and frustration and once time passes he will realize that he truly loves me ?

steph

June 13, 2014 at 3:30 pm

Hi chris am steph, I just started d NC wif my bf 4 days ago nd he hasn’t called either nor text, I dnt know if it means he doesn’t care of he’s just being stubborn and egocentric? We actually quarelled 3 day bfore I had to take dis step so he could get his bearings right, buh he later apologized 3. Days after d quarell with a shy *smiley* sayin he’s sorry I shuld 4give him…. So 2 days later I indulged in d NC strategy… Buh he hasn’t called. I need ur advice cos am loosing it big time.

admin

June 15, 2014 at 4:07 pm

Its still so early though.

liloo

June 13, 2014 at 2:25 pm

We were dating for about 2-3 months and it was going well, but we hadn’t talked about exclusivity nor been intimate. We had a small fight/misunderstanding over texts and he altogether stopped talking to me. I initially sent him a few messages trying to get him to talk to me and meet up so clear the air. But then he blocked me on social media. It was such a shock because he seemed to be very much into me like two days before! After that I stopped contacting him also and it has been exactly 30 days now. He hasn’t reached out to me during the time. Does NC apply to this short term relationship and the way he ended as well? I cannot still understand why he stopped talking to me. Should I text him now?

admin

June 15, 2014 at 4:04 pm

Yes it can… shorten it to 21 days though if you are that worried.
liloo

June 13, 2014 at 3:51 pm

the whole start of the fight until he blocked me took about a week, during which I sent 3-4 messages/email/fb. After a week he blocked me.

Tay

June 11, 2014 at 7:28 am

okay so you said it wouldnt shock you, why is this? Do you think he wants to see me or he’s just trying to mess around with me if i did end up going to these drinks?

admin

June 11, 2014 at 4:41 pm

Only way to know for sure is to go get the drinks and see what he does. Actions speak louder than words.

vaish

June 10, 2014 at 4:38 pm

Hi Chris, please help me. Ice been in relationship with my bf for over 1.5years… Hes alot stressed and doesnt have a job… While I go to college… I try to make him understand my emotions but he usualy dint have much of understanding… This obviously made me clingy and I cried n cried and it ultimately pushed him away. Im sure he has got thoughts wether to be with me or npt. I have apologized to him for all the cryings… He said he cant contact me for straight 20days. Its the sixth day now… Im really panicking and snciety is eating me. Pls help me…. The final day before that 20days of no contacting could start… V had an argument and he told me that he is going to block me on watsapp.. But he did not. Pls tell me wat to do

admin

June 11, 2014 at 4:30 pm

Just give him some more time… Let the anger settle down a bit.
vaish

June 11, 2014 at 4:42 pm

Will he talk to me? Im really anxious about the fight and twenty days he said he cant contact me. These type of men come back?

Amanda

June 10, 2014 at 8:14 am

Me and my ex boyfriend (of a little over 2 years) work together. The type of job doesn’t really allow no contact while at work and atleast part of our shifts overlap everyday. How do I handle no contact and what should I expect?

admin

June 10, 2014 at 4:10 pm

Limited contact!

« Previous 1 … 49 50 51 52 53 … 59 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”